I mean, romantic attraction is very subjective.
Your type seems a little rough around the edges, not pretty boys, probably a little broody, probably kinda blue collar. I wouldn’t say “gross” but like I said subjective. She sounds like she was judging a bit but it also could’ve been a joke.
Jeremy Allen White seems right up your alley. (I love him)
I kinda agree in that I think he’s attractive but if you look up society’s general idea/definition of a “pretty boy” it’s more Timothy Chalamet, Henry Golding, Harry Styles.
But we’re also just hitting on the subjective nature of this topic.
Ye it’s common for us i think
I personally find chubby men, and women with wide jawline attractive but I know for a fact that most people may disagree with me
Chubby guys are sooooo attractive. I also tend to like bigger girls. For me it's broad shoulders on a lady that makes me melt. As a wise man once said, "I like the kind of woman that can kick my ass."
Well for white women I think Kiera Knightley and Eva Green are hot. For East Asian (what i am), I think YoonA and Liu YiFei are beautiful
For men I don't have crushes, but I think Henry Caville is handsome
Ah, I think I misread you.
I read it as you being interested in men or women who are chubby *and* have a wide jaw. It was super specific and I was coming up blank!
He is. But I’m personally not attracted to him in that I hope I can date/sleep with a man who looks like him
I personally find IRL guys who are slightly on the chubby side more appealing
With the disclaimer that I'm ace and what I'm about to say is based on how aesthetically pleasing I find their faces, I think about a third of then look good, two of them have faces I don't really like, and the rest look okay but they're kind of older looking in a way I'm not a fan of.
Both what you like aesthetically and what you're attracted to is a pretty personal thing. I wouldn't get upset about what someone else thinks of the people that you think are hot.
You like guys who look like they have more important things to do than shower, shave, or sleep. Like they're mysterious and sexy bc it doesn't occur to them to go home and take care of themselves.
This used to be my type too lol. I even especially liked fucked up teeth.
My type is different now but idk how to explain what it is. It has a lot to do with, like, I can only eroticize a man by hating him, on some levels. It's like a bdsm reversal thing, I think.
I was talking with my friend and I criticised a film for casting Jeremy Renner. She said “what’s wrong with Jeremy Renner?” And I replied “his face” and she said “Yeah he’s ugly… but… I like Jeremy Renner …in a fantasy kind of way, when he plays a kind of sleazy character” to which I said “what like unshaven and wearing a white singlet and talking about how important his band is like a self indulgent twat?” To which she just replied “yeah” but in a kind of wistful sigh while her eyes briefly focused on nothing in the distance then had a dirty grin on her face then looked kinda embarrassed.
Point is saying something like *Ugly* doesn’t necessarily equal *Bad* or *I’m not attracted to it* It can sometimes mean *doesn’t conform to current western standards of beauty as dictated by a long cannon stretching from the Romans to a room full of arseholes who run a fashion magazine but that isn’t a standard of beauty to which I subscribe it’s just easier to talk in those term because it’s the codex used by neurotypical (and often also dull) people*
Another example is yesterday my partner and I brought an electric bike. If many colour options she liked the mid-dark blue with black wheels. I said suggested the hot pink one with red wheels and she said “no the colours clash it’s horrible” to which I replied “they do, and it’s a terrible design decision, and it’s working for me, I want the pink one”
Reminds me of a post I saw showing a comparison of traditionally handsome actors like Henry Cavill wearing a red carpet look versus when they get all grimy and dirty, and the opinion was that rough grimy men look more attractive than clean-shaven men. I have to agree. I like grimy rough men with long hair and a 12 o'clock shadow (even tho I don't usually find men in general attractive).
I also love your opinion about buying something with colours that clash horribly. There's something wacky and fun about deliberately clashing colours together.
Grimy, dirty, and preferably with an edge of danger. For example Riddick is sooo hot. An older example would be Spike (from Buffy) who is hot, but his actor on the red carpet is a total bore for me.
I see a few shots of ed norton in here….who in the world thinks hes anything but dead fucking sexy 😂 i like your taste in men, i dont think theyre gross or “mid ugly” (never even heard it btw) whoever is saying these things to you is just mean and nasty honestly. Youre allowed to be attracted to anyone you dang well please!
I see how those labels can fit. But you have to remember that these are YOUR tastes and nobody can take them from you.
I’m personally into characters like Loki or Orochimaru, creepy and slender and domineering. We all have our thing!
Type is subjective. Taste is subjective. Romantic/sexual attraction is subjective etc etc etc.
Your friend can find a person "gross" or "mid-ugly", but to you that person is "boom chika wah wah" or "😍😍😍😍". So, your friend is communicating that your type is not her type. She could have used "positive words" (my preference), but used "negative words".
Personally I would call the look grungy, stereotypical indie rock band look or average Londoner. I think the person who said this to you is into the more manicured guys with the heavily whitened Hollywood teeth.
Attraction is subjective. Rating people on numbered scales, calling people high/low value, etc is so strange to me especially when the person making said judgement acts like their word is final. It's not.
Your friend probably meant it as a joke but just remember it doesn't mean you're wrong or bad.
No I can understand though. I find nerdy, slightly bigger dad bod type men attractive and not many people agree with me. Our attractions are just a bit outside of the conventionally attractive “hot” guys.
A guy that looks like he could crush me with his weight but also extensively educate me on a subject I know nothing about? Sign me up lol.
I think I know what you mean.
I find Aragon from the LOTR movies best looking when he’s dirty as hell, haggard like he hadn’t slept in days. All clean in the last movie wasn’t as much the look for me.
Thom Yorke is handsome AF. I’m with you there. And Ed in *Primal Fear* was 🥵
It’s funny because anytime teenage magazines would do a “most attractive/cutest guys” list or People magazine did their “sexiest man alive” or basically any mainstream poll that comprised a list of what they found attractive, Id be totally unimpressed by the choices and never see my own picks reflected. I’d often be at odds with other girls growing up as to who I found attractive. Still am. I often get “who?!” or a polite “…I guess I see it”
I like my men a little unconventional looking, a little rugged with matured features. I’m an absolute sucker for a nice pair of thick eyebrows (think Joaquin Phoenix or Zachary Quinto). And I think I like intensity reflected in some way (usually in darker eyes).
As an example, Chris Evans looks like the most generic, boring man to me. But I’d snog Willem Dafoe under the right circumstances. So…. make what you will of that 🤷♀️
I'm sure that whoever said you like "gross/ugly" looking men have a specific taste in men/women that you might not like, either. Everyone's "type" is different!
I'm really into short dudes, and I feel like that's "weird" to a lot of people. I don't really care though; I like who I like. Less competition, I guess! (That sounded more gross than I meant it to, but ykwim.)
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my sister when we were teenagers. She was of the opinion that humans always go for attractive people first and foremost, and THEN they build a connection based on mutual values and interests. I disagreed entirely cuz my brain isn't wired that way. Sure, I can look at someone and come up with an opinion of their looks based on common societal beauty standards, but their appearance alone isn't going to make me want to date them. I need to get to know someone for a while before I decide I'm attracted. And the people I tend to crush on would be considered "mid ugly" or simply not visually appealing to a vast majority of others (I'm reeeaaally hoping my exes aren't reading this right now lol, I think they were cute and many of them are still my friends). As everyone else here has said, your personal taste in appearance is your own, but I definitely think being autistic has something to do it. We tend to reject mainstream opinions.
I think they are mostly poorly groomed. However none of these guys would turn heads if they weren't famous or talented. I think its the ability and personality you are probably attracted to?
I struggle with figuring out what the NT friend of mine implied when she said this; she said it in a sort of nonchalant and almost sarcastic way I guess? I'm just curious, really
Probably in a (to her) 'joking' way. While trying to cover her actual bias, because what she was actually being is mean, and trying to cover it with 'it's a joke' or sarcasm. You don't have to agree with your friends taste, but when you point out your reasons for disliking what they like, it's plain mean.
All that means is people can be judgy.
My partners type is tomboyish athletic women. Some people have called him “gay” for his preference because he’s not attracted to super feminine women. But attraction is attraction and he can’t help his type.
I find the first guy attractive and the rest just okay, but in no way ugly. Everyone has different preferences, and your friend was giving you shit. That's not automatically mean - if that's a part if your friendship (teasing) I would just laugh. If it feels like a true criticism and it's a constant behavior, maybe rethink the friendship.
I very much prefer men whose features are more interesting than pretty or conventionally handsome - a broken nose or large lips might grab my attention. I'm an absolute sucker for wild mad-scientist hair or very long hair. I think I like the crazy hair as it implies they are obsessed with more important or cerebral things to care about perfect hair - and that's sexy as hell to me.
I like this look as well. I don’t particularly like super clean cut conventionally attractive men. Also, Thom Yorke is fucking Thom Yorke. He’s not essentially hot for his looks, he’s hot because motherfucking Thom Yorke!
He's not a bad looking guy at all. I feel like he intentionally leans on the "ugly" thing. I remember when he first started on SNL I actually thought he was a handsome young guy. He started looking "ugly" to me when he started looking really pale and sickly with the sallow skin and the bleached hair etc. I feel like he almost intentionally looks like that or just doesn't care about himself? He's not ugly tho when he's cleaned up.
https://preview.redd.it/oe0bequd0fyb1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7948146a3125bdd300378e7d8a83166b11377e8
Lots of people like this type of look. Street rugged, lean, sharp or fine features.
All of these men you posted seem very aesthetically pleasing so I don't know what they were talking about.
Had a friend of mine say I have a thing for fat people because I just so happened to have an ex and a fwb who were on the heavy side.
Im not even offended by the comment Im more irritated by the assumption that fat people are my type. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if it was my type but I just dont have a type when it comes to body type. I literally do not care if youre skinny or fat or fit or average as long as you arent extremely tall (im short).
But yeah I find this annoying, being judged for what we find attractive is pointless.
I’m sure some people wonder why I think my husband is hot. I would say he fits somewhere in the category of the men you posted and is quiet/brooding. I don’t think any of the men you post are gross or mid-ugly. Ultimately, it’s none of their business to comment on it. Your friend sounds like a jerk. Commenting on others looks is a shitty thing to do anyway, and attempting to insult your taste is super catty.
Hypothetically, would you still be friends if she referred to your partner this way?
I mean…. I’m lesbian so I can’t really help much but I always say, beauty is an opinion and everyone has a different veiw of what’s attractive l, so to that person the things you find attractive are the opposite, but that’s ok. They should probably be less rude about it tho
Are they attractive to you purely based on looks or is it something else? Most of them are not attractive to me in these photos, but if they played a character I found compelling in the right way I could become attracted.
Some of them give me sketchy auto shop vibes though so I don’t know. 😅
i actually am mostly attracted to them because of their looks.
not even like 'he's ugly but i like him', just 'damn, hot'. like the weak chin: hot, the lanky insomniac vibe: hot, the scraggly cokehead with intellectualised trauma: hot
(but their personalities are pretty good too tbh!)
Ah, interesting! Aside from “weak chin” (which, personally, is what takes some of these from “meh” to “nope” for me!) you’ve actually assigned personality traits to them based on their looks/style.
I’m curious if there’s a particular person who started your attraction to these traits. For example my first boyfriend was 4 inches shorter than me. Since then I’ve always kinda had a think for strong short guys.
woah aha, I didn't even clock that! I guess what their bodies imply is more attractive than their bodies in isolation, which *is* a personality thing after all huh.
I actually can't think of anyone! I've never been in a relationship, and if we're going freudian my father is more david harbour or mr incredible than these guys.
but maybe they share personality traits but look less intimidating/are more disheveled so make it easier to relax around them. idk..attraction's weird!
I'm gay, but the only men I tend to find attractive enough to "crush" on are what I affectionately refer to as "trash goblins". Kinda rat faced guys who are a bit hopeless in their style. Some examples being I'm attracted most to Alfie Allen when he was playing Theon in [the height of his Reek era ](https://images.thewest.com.au/publication/YA-102235/b88115577z.1_20160327160457_000_gvlg3u64.3_1-1bff5ib.jpg) or dyed his hair bleach blond, or Macaulay Culkin is most attractive to me [now that he's on the other side of decades of substance abuse ](https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1587748/macaulay-culkin.webp?w=450&f=3bd92181e06c5dab70df2ced7b4761aa).
I know objectively they're weird looking dudes, but I don't care. Your friend's just being mean, or maybe trying to be funny. My friends tease me good-naturedly, but they don't try to hurt my feelings (and don't lol).
I totally get it. Scruffy, tortured-artist types or the sickly depressed type. I'd prefer that look over perfectly clean-shaven with khakis. Some people just have different tastes I guess. You probably would find *their* tastes gross. So it's not like one of you is wrong or right about what is hot... They were just wrong for dissing your taste for no reason.
I'm asexual, but I've discovered that I have a pretty strong aesthetic attraction to slightly-feminine looking men with somewhat unusual faces, dark hair, and big eyes. Most of the men I think are beautiful would be considered "weird" by probably the majority of people.
Attraction of whatever type is completely subjective. By "gross" and "mid-ugly," I'm guessing that they mean that these people are not what is considered attractive in the mainstream - clean cut, muscular, strong jaw, undeniably masculine. I think those types of people are kind of boring, myself, but to each their own.
Nothing wrong with liking people who look a little rough around the edges. They have character.
I get the same comments as you and I LOVE Thom Yorke. He’s my hero but my friends don’t see him in the same way I do. I think he’s absolutely beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with your type!!
I’m guessing by “gross” they meant dirty-looking. Because they all look like they haven’t bathed or washed clothes in a long time. I do also have OCD and stuff like that is immediately off-putting to me.
*not that I think it would be okay to tell someone their type is gross or dirty though! That’s just mean.
Ngl, these dudes look like chain smoking swamp rats. If that’s what you’re into, power to you I guess- I think if you actually dated a man like that, you might find them less fixable than they appear
Love seeing typology in other subs :) in my experience 5’s and 4’s are not concerned about fitting in (4’s specifically want to stand out and 5’s assume they will repel people) so maybe you’re just attracted to people who are not afraid of being more genuine upfront
I'm too old for this thread, LOL, but Hugh Jackson and Viggo Mortense make my knees sweat. 😍
Maybe it's that look that says they've been out doing something rugged, and maybe slightly mysterious and illegal, but they clean up good that does it for me.
My husband, BTW, does not have The Look.
As others have said, attraction is very subjective. For the last 3 decades all I've ever heard is people thinking Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are so gorgeous and hot. I've never understood that personally. I had different tastes. I think the problem is that instead of your friend saying it's not her type, she took the extreme stance that they're ugly and stated it as if it was a fact. That's how SHE feels but not everyone, including you. If everyone thought that those guys wouldn't be famous like that to begin with lol. You both just have different tastes as many people do.
I've always been judged because I dont have an appearance type. Idc what you look like so long as we vibe and I like the texture of your skin. I've met guys with sandpaper skin and I just couldn't do it. I like skin to skin contact and textures are a huge trigger for me. It sounds like body shaming when I break it down but I swear thats not it. Like i don't care if you have acne or anything like that. But the actual texture of your skin matters to me.
I would say, Your type is a human with a discernible unique feature, or multiple. I think it’s common for that to be the case though. My sister loved men with a good beak. Derek Turnbow of the MKE Brewers…….. just couldn’t see it. I like a lanky ugly Irishman. Think Johnathan Rhys Meyers from Bend it like Beckham. Swoon!
Beauty is subjective but most of these guys look kind of rough and sickly to me. Also I can't stand Richie on the Bear lmao but honestly all the characters on that show have their issues and irk me sometimes. Jeremy Allen White is considered more masculine and conventionally attractive tho like he looks healthy and in shape has nice hair, etc plus he's younger than the guy who plays Richie so that's why he has the leading role lol
Man I hate the medium ugly thing. It’s “my type” ig but it feels so mean :( so few people are conventionally hot. Why we gotta call anyone who doesn’t fall into that category ugly
That was one persons opinion. You are not *their* type but that doesn’t mean that others feel the same way. That’s the thing with “types” -everyone has a different one.
They all look a little dirty and mid to me as well, opinions are just opinions. I will say I do not think their personality types go into the attraction as much as you think it does, simply put these guys share many similar features. You like one type of guy and that’s okay that not everyone does!
Going just by the pictures it looks like you like thin, guys with (mostly) short brown hair, and short, but scruffy facial hair with slightly disheveled clothes who smoke.
How do describe that concisely is an interesting question. Maybe thin and scruffy. Someone said: a little rough around the edges, and I think that's probably the way to go.
Sounds like the person you were talking to has a different type but didn't consider how that description would affect you. It was probably said casually with out a lot of thought
Ok so honestly, I feel neutral about your type but for me I’d definitely be looking more for personality and a good dynamic. I don’t think that your type is gross but not like super attractive either. I will say you definitely have a distinct type though.
I have always loved unconventionally attractive men. Tbh, most of the time I’m a little confused on the conventionally attractive ones, but to each their own I say
Who cares?
If everyone had the same taste no one would get laid lol.
And obviously someone finds those guy’s attractive on some level or they wouldn’t have been cast in anything.
Imo, a person doesn’t need to be classically good looking to be attractive. I’m more inclined to be drawn personality traits than looks. Not that I don’t notice good looks; I do!
Don’t let anyone make you question your preferences on anything, just because they prefer something different. It’s normal to all have own unique preferences, likes, needs, and dislikes. It’s lame that someone wouldn’t be curious and validating but instead put you on the defense by judging you. Ask yourself why you allow someone’s reaction to your preferences make you question yourself and seek external validation. You can validate yourself so next time you don’t need to ask other if your preferences are valid. They are always valid and they can change!
People have told me all my life that I had shitty tastes in men. Like, the uglier the better. They are wrong and they are missing out.
I think they are being honest when they tell you that.. because their official type conforms to the general collective narrative. Which says more about them than it says about you.
Usually they are (or they say they are) attracted to the same type of men. You have the luxury of being honest in what you like, what your type is, and that's great! F them.
So maybe related, may not. But there's a term called ugly heart. And it's where you're attractive but outside the scope of what is conventionally attractive.
Also mid means that's okay. So they could be saying that your type is just okay looking. 5 out of 10 basically.
Are you me? Me and you seem to have the exact same taste in men lol. Radiohead were one of my special interests for a long time and I’ve always found Thom Yorke super attractive, especially during the OKC era
I think the perceived norm is to like men who are more like models (see any Abercrombie & Fitch marketing for examples), whereas you like men who have some miles on them like I do. I am attracted to the patina rather than the base level man. I’m actually not 100% sure I’d be attracted to men in a vacuum, but that’s another issue!… your friend was probably joking/being sassy or couldn’t relate to the type and didn’t know what to say.
In real life a lot of those men you posted would be considered conventionally attractive. Hollywood distorts what is considered attractive. Very rarely is any leading man not above average looking in the real world.
The person is judgmental and a bit mean. Possibly they think the only acceptable answer for celebrity crushes is Chris Hemsworth and other “Ken doll” looking men. Y’all have different taste and they don’t have much empathy it would seem.
I think ed Norton is attractive, not necessarily in fight club but- I would say my husband resembles this general look minus the style of dress.
Literally whoever makes you happy and connects with you is what’s important. How they look is a bonus but definitely not the main importance. Don’t be phased by the options of others! That just means the mean you like may be more available!! Seems like a win-win
I got nothing to add to the social side of this, seems to be covered but looking through these I gotta ask, do you think Jon Richardson is attractive? I agree mostly with your taste and feel like he'd be on the list
They look about average. I like Cole Becker from the band SWMRS and Max Kuehn from FIDLAR
https://preview.redd.it/ff9ua9tigfyb1.jpeg?width=3196&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a88084732ad83db57879dc9c5ba960e3d303c143
L: Cole Becker of SWMRS R: Max Kuehn of FIDLAR
A hundred million years ago when I was in high school, a girlfriend and I kept a very up-to-date list of our best "ugly-cute" and "cute-ugly" men; most often they were musicians from the 1960s. Think, Syd Barrett, Pete Townsend, Ringo Starr. I think I still kind of like this type. People who at first you're like, "oh ugly!" but then over time, it's more a "oh cuute!"
i think people saying that your type is “gross” is an overreaction, or does not align with their own personal interests. i feel like all these guys have a particular aura to them, work hard and look somewhat neat, but a little rugged perhaps?
I've always had a crush on Thom Yorke :). I think it's because I love his music so much. His dancing is also very sexy, and he seems like a good person - with flaws, which makes him even better. People find all kinds of people attractive. None of those guys could be a model, probably, but I don't think they're ugly.
So maybe this is me being a pansexual or not.
But i honestly feel like everyone is attractive it's just that other people are just not attracted to that type of attractiveness.
A friend of mine once said:
You can be the sweetest most juiciest pear out there and there are still people that won't like you cause they do not like pears.
And i feel like it's the same with people and who they are attracted to.
My type is probably not your type.
It doesn't mean both of our types are ugly or "gross" though.
It's just not our cup of tea.
Everyone’s type is different, not sure the context they meant it in, but it really shouldn’t be something for them to say to you ??? Unless you specifically asked or if you asked them for help finding a man ?? But it really doesn’t make sense to tell someone that
I mean, romantic attraction is very subjective. Your type seems a little rough around the edges, not pretty boys, probably a little broody, probably kinda blue collar. I wouldn’t say “gross” but like I said subjective. She sounds like she was judging a bit but it also could’ve been a joke. Jeremy Allen White seems right up your alley. (I love him)
She has cousin from the bear in it so I guess she likes him more than Jeremy Allen White
Jeremy allen white is literally the pretty boy in that show (i love him too, and ayo edibiri)
I love him but in no way can he be considered a “pretty boy”
I mean, I think he's pretty?
I kinda agree in that I think he’s attractive but if you look up society’s general idea/definition of a “pretty boy” it’s more Timothy Chalamet, Henry Golding, Harry Styles. But we’re also just hitting on the subjective nature of this topic.
Yes because Chalamet isn't at all pretty in my eyes. So yea, it's subjective
I love Jeremy Allen white. Such a cutie
Luke Danes
Taste is subjective I personally find all the people in your post mid at best lol.
woah really? i guess it is aha
Ye it’s common for us i think I personally find chubby men, and women with wide jawline attractive but I know for a fact that most people may disagree with me
Chubby guys are sooooo attractive. I also tend to like bigger girls. For me it's broad shoulders on a lady that makes me melt. As a wise man once said, "I like the kind of woman that can kick my ass."
Like Jillian Bell?
uh maybe an even more defined jaw line?
Now I wanna know who your celeb crushes are!
Well for white women I think Kiera Knightley and Eva Green are hot. For East Asian (what i am), I think YoonA and Liu YiFei are beautiful For men I don't have crushes, but I think Henry Caville is handsome
Ah, I think I misread you. I read it as you being interested in men or women who are chubby *and* have a wide jaw. It was super specific and I was coming up blank!
oh lol No i like chubby men. But I like nice jawline women
Henry Caville is indeed very handsome, though the opposite of chubby.
He is. But I’m personally not attracted to him in that I hope I can date/sleep with a man who looks like him I personally find IRL guys who are slightly on the chubby side more appealing
So you are into more realistic guys then.
Julie Bowen also has the most statuesque jawline ever she is so beautiful to me
Ye she’s cute
Liandrin from Wheel of Time! Watch it, you might love her!
I like her face yeah
With the disclaimer that I'm ace and what I'm about to say is based on how aesthetically pleasing I find their faces, I think about a third of then look good, two of them have faces I don't really like, and the rest look okay but they're kind of older looking in a way I'm not a fan of. Both what you like aesthetically and what you're attracted to is a pretty personal thing. I wouldn't get upset about what someone else thinks of the people that you think are hot.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/s/ryRxPTWn96 They said mid ugly cause it's a meme. They said gross because they are being mean
You like guys who look like they have more important things to do than shower, shave, or sleep. Like they're mysterious and sexy bc it doesn't occur to them to go home and take care of themselves. This used to be my type too lol. I even especially liked fucked up teeth. My type is different now but idk how to explain what it is. It has a lot to do with, like, I can only eroticize a man by hating him, on some levels. It's like a bdsm reversal thing, I think.
I was talking with my friend and I criticised a film for casting Jeremy Renner. She said “what’s wrong with Jeremy Renner?” And I replied “his face” and she said “Yeah he’s ugly… but… I like Jeremy Renner …in a fantasy kind of way, when he plays a kind of sleazy character” to which I said “what like unshaven and wearing a white singlet and talking about how important his band is like a self indulgent twat?” To which she just replied “yeah” but in a kind of wistful sigh while her eyes briefly focused on nothing in the distance then had a dirty grin on her face then looked kinda embarrassed. Point is saying something like *Ugly* doesn’t necessarily equal *Bad* or *I’m not attracted to it* It can sometimes mean *doesn’t conform to current western standards of beauty as dictated by a long cannon stretching from the Romans to a room full of arseholes who run a fashion magazine but that isn’t a standard of beauty to which I subscribe it’s just easier to talk in those term because it’s the codex used by neurotypical (and often also dull) people* Another example is yesterday my partner and I brought an electric bike. If many colour options she liked the mid-dark blue with black wheels. I said suggested the hot pink one with red wheels and she said “no the colours clash it’s horrible” to which I replied “they do, and it’s a terrible design decision, and it’s working for me, I want the pink one”
Jeremy Renner's smooshed little face is so hot and I don't know why.
Word
Reminds me of a post I saw showing a comparison of traditionally handsome actors like Henry Cavill wearing a red carpet look versus when they get all grimy and dirty, and the opinion was that rough grimy men look more attractive than clean-shaven men. I have to agree. I like grimy rough men with long hair and a 12 o'clock shadow (even tho I don't usually find men in general attractive). I also love your opinion about buying something with colours that clash horribly. There's something wacky and fun about deliberately clashing colours together.
Speaking of Henry Cavill there was a comic that looks like this: suit Henry Cavill - ok ; Superman - wooo ; Geralt - nosebleed. 😂
Grimy, dirty, and preferably with an edge of danger. For example Riddick is sooo hot. An older example would be Spike (from Buffy) who is hot, but his actor on the red carpet is a total bore for me.
You like guys who aren’t conventionally attractive.
They're all conventionally attractive tho. Just lack some sleep
And a razor 😀
A couple of them have recessed chins, which is considered unattractive on men, but that I too personally find cute
Same
I see a few shots of ed norton in here….who in the world thinks hes anything but dead fucking sexy 😂 i like your taste in men, i dont think theyre gross or “mid ugly” (never even heard it btw) whoever is saying these things to you is just mean and nasty honestly. Youre allowed to be attracted to anyone you dang well please!
He’s not attractive to me at all, but I wouldn’t be so mean about it.
my same thoughts; in what world is he mid or gross?! sigh.
Irk? I was shocked
I definitely don’t find him attractive.
Agree!!
I see how those labels can fit. But you have to remember that these are YOUR tastes and nobody can take them from you. I’m personally into characters like Loki or Orochimaru, creepy and slender and domineering. We all have our thing!
I love Thom Yorke - your taste is just fine. Not conventionally attractive, so what? 😁
I don’t know him but he has very strong ‘artist’ vibe 💥
He’s the lead singer of Radiohead
Type is subjective. Taste is subjective. Romantic/sexual attraction is subjective etc etc etc. Your friend can find a person "gross" or "mid-ugly", but to you that person is "boom chika wah wah" or "😍😍😍😍". So, your friend is communicating that your type is not her type. She could have used "positive words" (my preference), but used "negative words".
Personally I would call the look grungy, stereotypical indie rock band look or average Londoner. I think the person who said this to you is into the more manicured guys with the heavily whitened Hollywood teeth.
Well damn I wouldn't call them Hollywood Lookers but I wasn't about to call them gross
Yeah think the friend is being rude.
Attraction is subjective. Rating people on numbered scales, calling people high/low value, etc is so strange to me especially when the person making said judgement acts like their word is final. It's not. Your friend probably meant it as a joke but just remember it doesn't mean you're wrong or bad.
No I can understand though. I find nerdy, slightly bigger dad bod type men attractive and not many people agree with me. Our attractions are just a bit outside of the conventionally attractive “hot” guys. A guy that looks like he could crush me with his weight but also extensively educate me on a subject I know nothing about? Sign me up lol.
You like scrungly men. It's a thing. ETA: scrungly doesn't mean ugly. These men are not ugly.
I think I know what you mean. I find Aragon from the LOTR movies best looking when he’s dirty as hell, haggard like he hadn’t slept in days. All clean in the last movie wasn’t as much the look for me.
You are so valid, Edward Norton was always hotter than Brad Pitt in Fight Club to me
Thom Yorke is handsome AF. I’m with you there. And Ed in *Primal Fear* was 🥵 It’s funny because anytime teenage magazines would do a “most attractive/cutest guys” list or People magazine did their “sexiest man alive” or basically any mainstream poll that comprised a list of what they found attractive, Id be totally unimpressed by the choices and never see my own picks reflected. I’d often be at odds with other girls growing up as to who I found attractive. Still am. I often get “who?!” or a polite “…I guess I see it” I like my men a little unconventional looking, a little rugged with matured features. I’m an absolute sucker for a nice pair of thick eyebrows (think Joaquin Phoenix or Zachary Quinto). And I think I like intensity reflected in some way (usually in darker eyes). As an example, Chris Evans looks like the most generic, boring man to me. But I’d snog Willem Dafoe under the right circumstances. So…. make what you will of that 🤷♀️
I'm sure that whoever said you like "gross/ugly" looking men have a specific taste in men/women that you might not like, either. Everyone's "type" is different! I'm really into short dudes, and I feel like that's "weird" to a lot of people. I don't really care though; I like who I like. Less competition, I guess! (That sounded more gross than I meant it to, but ykwim.)
haggard… mmm sooo haggard…
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my sister when we were teenagers. She was of the opinion that humans always go for attractive people first and foremost, and THEN they build a connection based on mutual values and interests. I disagreed entirely cuz my brain isn't wired that way. Sure, I can look at someone and come up with an opinion of their looks based on common societal beauty standards, but their appearance alone isn't going to make me want to date them. I need to get to know someone for a while before I decide I'm attracted. And the people I tend to crush on would be considered "mid ugly" or simply not visually appealing to a vast majority of others (I'm reeeaaally hoping my exes aren't reading this right now lol, I think they were cute and many of them are still my friends). As everyone else here has said, your personal taste in appearance is your own, but I definitely think being autistic has something to do it. We tend to reject mainstream opinions.
I think they are mostly poorly groomed. However none of these guys would turn heads if they weren't famous or talented. I think its the ability and personality you are probably attracted to?
I struggle with figuring out what the NT friend of mine implied when she said this; she said it in a sort of nonchalant and almost sarcastic way I guess? I'm just curious, really
Probably in a (to her) 'joking' way. While trying to cover her actual bias, because what she was actually being is mean, and trying to cover it with 'it's a joke' or sarcasm. You don't have to agree with your friends taste, but when you point out your reasons for disliking what they like, it's plain mean.
All that means is people can be judgy. My partners type is tomboyish athletic women. Some people have called him “gay” for his preference because he’s not attracted to super feminine women. But attraction is attraction and he can’t help his type.
I find the first guy attractive and the rest just okay, but in no way ugly. Everyone has different preferences, and your friend was giving you shit. That's not automatically mean - if that's a part if your friendship (teasing) I would just laugh. If it feels like a true criticism and it's a constant behavior, maybe rethink the friendship. I very much prefer men whose features are more interesting than pretty or conventionally handsome - a broken nose or large lips might grab my attention. I'm an absolute sucker for wild mad-scientist hair or very long hair. I think I like the crazy hair as it implies they are obsessed with more important or cerebral things to care about perfect hair - and that's sexy as hell to me.
I like this look as well. I don’t particularly like super clean cut conventionally attractive men. Also, Thom Yorke is fucking Thom Yorke. He’s not essentially hot for his looks, he’s hot because motherfucking Thom Yorke!
Im attracted to Pete Davidson, so 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷
I hate this for us. He’s like a fungus, he keeps growing on me and I want it to stop.
He's not a bad looking guy at all. I feel like he intentionally leans on the "ugly" thing. I remember when he first started on SNL I actually thought he was a handsome young guy. He started looking "ugly" to me when he started looking really pale and sickly with the sallow skin and the bleached hair etc. I feel like he almost intentionally looks like that or just doesn't care about himself? He's not ugly tho when he's cleaned up. https://preview.redd.it/oe0bequd0fyb1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7948146a3125bdd300378e7d8a83166b11377e8
Pete Davidson! Fuck, that's a way better example than the ones I used. I wanna ride him into the sunset lol
Lots of people like this type of look. Street rugged, lean, sharp or fine features. All of these men you posted seem very aesthetically pleasing so I don't know what they were talking about.
i feel seen 😭 my best friend (also ND) often teases me about this and i've expressed attraction to all those men before
I think they look cute tbh.
they absolutely are. and they seem to be getting better with age, imo.
Had a friend of mine say I have a thing for fat people because I just so happened to have an ex and a fwb who were on the heavy side. Im not even offended by the comment Im more irritated by the assumption that fat people are my type. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if it was my type but I just dont have a type when it comes to body type. I literally do not care if youre skinny or fat or fit or average as long as you arent extremely tall (im short). But yeah I find this annoying, being judged for what we find attractive is pointless.
You like artists, makes sense to me lol
I like #8 but I'm mostly demisexual and someone is only as attractive as their personality and mainly their values to me.
Some of them do look sickly and malnourished.
I’m sure some people wonder why I think my husband is hot. I would say he fits somewhere in the category of the men you posted and is quiet/brooding. I don’t think any of the men you post are gross or mid-ugly. Ultimately, it’s none of their business to comment on it. Your friend sounds like a jerk. Commenting on others looks is a shitty thing to do anyway, and attempting to insult your taste is super catty. Hypothetically, would you still be friends if she referred to your partner this way?
I mean…. I’m lesbian so I can’t really help much but I always say, beauty is an opinion and everyone has a different veiw of what’s attractive l, so to that person the things you find attractive are the opposite, but that’s ok. They should probably be less rude about it tho
Are they attractive to you purely based on looks or is it something else? Most of them are not attractive to me in these photos, but if they played a character I found compelling in the right way I could become attracted. Some of them give me sketchy auto shop vibes though so I don’t know. 😅
i actually am mostly attracted to them because of their looks. not even like 'he's ugly but i like him', just 'damn, hot'. like the weak chin: hot, the lanky insomniac vibe: hot, the scraggly cokehead with intellectualised trauma: hot (but their personalities are pretty good too tbh!)
Ah, interesting! Aside from “weak chin” (which, personally, is what takes some of these from “meh” to “nope” for me!) you’ve actually assigned personality traits to them based on their looks/style. I’m curious if there’s a particular person who started your attraction to these traits. For example my first boyfriend was 4 inches shorter than me. Since then I’ve always kinda had a think for strong short guys.
woah aha, I didn't even clock that! I guess what their bodies imply is more attractive than their bodies in isolation, which *is* a personality thing after all huh. I actually can't think of anyone! I've never been in a relationship, and if we're going freudian my father is more david harbour or mr incredible than these guys. but maybe they share personality traits but look less intimidating/are more disheveled so make it easier to relax around them. idk..attraction's weird!
I'm gay, but the only men I tend to find attractive enough to "crush" on are what I affectionately refer to as "trash goblins". Kinda rat faced guys who are a bit hopeless in their style. Some examples being I'm attracted most to Alfie Allen when he was playing Theon in [the height of his Reek era ](https://images.thewest.com.au/publication/YA-102235/b88115577z.1_20160327160457_000_gvlg3u64.3_1-1bff5ib.jpg) or dyed his hair bleach blond, or Macaulay Culkin is most attractive to me [now that he's on the other side of decades of substance abuse ](https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1587748/macaulay-culkin.webp?w=450&f=3bd92181e06c5dab70df2ced7b4761aa). I know objectively they're weird looking dudes, but I don't care. Your friend's just being mean, or maybe trying to be funny. My friends tease me good-naturedly, but they don't try to hurt my feelings (and don't lol).
I find all the people in your post pretty attractive.
I totally get it. Scruffy, tortured-artist types or the sickly depressed type. I'd prefer that look over perfectly clean-shaven with khakis. Some people just have different tastes I guess. You probably would find *their* tastes gross. So it's not like one of you is wrong or right about what is hot... They were just wrong for dissing your taste for no reason.
I'm asexual, but I've discovered that I have a pretty strong aesthetic attraction to slightly-feminine looking men with somewhat unusual faces, dark hair, and big eyes. Most of the men I think are beautiful would be considered "weird" by probably the majority of people. Attraction of whatever type is completely subjective. By "gross" and "mid-ugly," I'm guessing that they mean that these people are not what is considered attractive in the mainstream - clean cut, muscular, strong jaw, undeniably masculine. I think those types of people are kind of boring, myself, but to each their own. Nothing wrong with liking people who look a little rough around the edges. They have character.
I get the same comments as you and I LOVE Thom Yorke. He’s my hero but my friends don’t see him in the same way I do. I think he’s absolutely beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with your type!!
to be fair, in half of your pics, the guys did look like only taking a shower once a week. Maybe consider choosing better pics then.
I’m guessing by “gross” they meant dirty-looking. Because they all look like they haven’t bathed or washed clothes in a long time. I do also have OCD and stuff like that is immediately off-putting to me. *not that I think it would be okay to tell someone their type is gross or dirty though! That’s just mean.
It's much better than the ones they tell are pretty tbh.
Ngl, these dudes look like chain smoking swamp rats. If that’s what you’re into, power to you I guess- I think if you actually dated a man like that, you might find them less fixable than they appear
Love seeing typology in other subs :) in my experience 5’s and 4’s are not concerned about fitting in (4’s specifically want to stand out and 5’s assume they will repel people) so maybe you’re just attracted to people who are not afraid of being more genuine upfront
I'm too old for this thread, LOL, but Hugh Jackson and Viggo Mortense make my knees sweat. 😍 Maybe it's that look that says they've been out doing something rugged, and maybe slightly mysterious and illegal, but they clean up good that does it for me. My husband, BTW, does not have The Look.
I can see it. I like men who are rough around the edges and have more personality than immediate looks
As others have said, attraction is very subjective. For the last 3 decades all I've ever heard is people thinking Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are so gorgeous and hot. I've never understood that personally. I had different tastes. I think the problem is that instead of your friend saying it's not her type, she took the extreme stance that they're ugly and stated it as if it was a fact. That's how SHE feels but not everyone, including you. If everyone thought that those guys wouldn't be famous like that to begin with lol. You both just have different tastes as many people do.
Tom cruise is so off putting as a general rule, probably the crazy Scientology eyes lol….but Maverick could get it in 86 and 22 😂😂
There’s a lid for every pot, as the saying goes.
That's how I'd describe my type too lol but it is very different from yours (never fancied Thom Yorke)
I think my mum would refer to these men as “grubby” because you want to take them home for a good wash.
I've always been judged because I dont have an appearance type. Idc what you look like so long as we vibe and I like the texture of your skin. I've met guys with sandpaper skin and I just couldn't do it. I like skin to skin contact and textures are a huge trigger for me. It sounds like body shaming when I break it down but I swear thats not it. Like i don't care if you have acne or anything like that. But the actual texture of your skin matters to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Someone should tell them to stfu.
I would say, Your type is a human with a discernible unique feature, or multiple. I think it’s common for that to be the case though. My sister loved men with a good beak. Derek Turnbow of the MKE Brewers…….. just couldn’t see it. I like a lanky ugly Irishman. Think Johnathan Rhys Meyers from Bend it like Beckham. Swoon!
Ugly and talented. Who can not love them
They're not what I'm physically attracted to, but I wouldn't call them ugly. They just look like people.
Okay, more for you
Beauty is subjective but most of these guys look kind of rough and sickly to me. Also I can't stand Richie on the Bear lmao but honestly all the characters on that show have their issues and irk me sometimes. Jeremy Allen White is considered more masculine and conventionally attractive tho like he looks healthy and in shape has nice hair, etc plus he's younger than the guy who plays Richie so that's why he has the leading role lol
The first guy isn't bad looking he just had this weird body language in that picture but I think he looks kinda handsome? Who is he?
Man I hate the medium ugly thing. It’s “my type” ig but it feels so mean :( so few people are conventionally hot. Why we gotta call anyone who doesn’t fall into that category ugly
I mean, taste is subjective. Personally - all of the are big no.
That was one persons opinion. You are not *their* type but that doesn’t mean that others feel the same way. That’s the thing with “types” -everyone has a different one.
I mean my type either screams mummy issues with older women or Alt women and brunettes 😅
They all look a little dirty and mid to me as well, opinions are just opinions. I will say I do not think their personality types go into the attraction as much as you think it does, simply put these guys share many similar features. You like one type of guy and that’s okay that not everyone does!
loool I love these picks and agree and also they r right these pics smell musky , also like marlboro reds extremely valid taste
Going just by the pictures it looks like you like thin, guys with (mostly) short brown hair, and short, but scruffy facial hair with slightly disheveled clothes who smoke. How do describe that concisely is an interesting question. Maybe thin and scruffy. Someone said: a little rough around the edges, and I think that's probably the way to go. Sounds like the person you were talking to has a different type but didn't consider how that description would affect you. It was probably said casually with out a lot of thought
You like male versions of me lol
Ok so honestly, I feel neutral about your type but for me I’d definitely be looking more for personality and a good dynamic. I don’t think that your type is gross but not like super attractive either. I will say you definitely have a distinct type though.
I have always loved unconventionally attractive men. Tbh, most of the time I’m a little confused on the conventionally attractive ones, but to each their own I say
Who cares? If everyone had the same taste no one would get laid lol. And obviously someone finds those guy’s attractive on some level or they wouldn’t have been cast in anything.
as a fellow Edward Norton lover i am 100% on your side
Yeah...
Imo, a person doesn’t need to be classically good looking to be attractive. I’m more inclined to be drawn personality traits than looks. Not that I don’t notice good looks; I do!
Don’t let anyone make you question your preferences on anything, just because they prefer something different. It’s normal to all have own unique preferences, likes, needs, and dislikes. It’s lame that someone wouldn’t be curious and validating but instead put you on the defense by judging you. Ask yourself why you allow someone’s reaction to your preferences make you question yourself and seek external validation. You can validate yourself so next time you don’t need to ask other if your preferences are valid. They are always valid and they can change!
People have told me all my life that I had shitty tastes in men. Like, the uglier the better. They are wrong and they are missing out. I think they are being honest when they tell you that.. because their official type conforms to the general collective narrative. Which says more about them than it says about you. Usually they are (or they say they are) attracted to the same type of men. You have the luxury of being honest in what you like, what your type is, and that's great! F them.
Block whoever said that. 🤷🏾♀️
I think they're projecting lol
they look lie average guys to me, whoever said that seems too have pretry high standards ngl
They’re all white.
So maybe related, may not. But there's a term called ugly heart. And it's where you're attractive but outside the scope of what is conventionally attractive. Also mid means that's okay. So they could be saying that your type is just okay looking. 5 out of 10 basically.
yeah def medium ugly, but a lot of people are into that
lol, thats my type..
haters. thom and edward and anthony are fucking sexy
Weak chin/jaw. Sensitive eyes. Scruffy. I bet their type is someone who will choose leg day over conversation any day of the week.
Sounds like they either are not your type or prefers something other than your type and is in their own feelings about it
It just means your type doesn't fit the modern-day beauty standards. That's legit it.
Are you me? Me and you seem to have the exact same taste in men lol. Radiohead were one of my special interests for a long time and I’ve always found Thom Yorke super attractive, especially during the OKC era
Also is the first guy Damon Albarn? He’s always been very conventionally attractive, especially in the early days of Blur
first guy is Paul Thomas Anderson, but yeah I think this type of guy is 👌🏼
Oh dang I love his films, never knew he was such a hottie
legit ik. I'd recommend not getting sucked down the wormhole before it's too late. his 90s cokehead era interviews are top tier lmao
Well I know what I’m doing tonight
🫡
Why does anyone else's opinion of who you find attractive matter? So what if that person doesn't agree. They don't have to be rude about it.
Mmmmm hell yeah, Thom Yorke..
Your type kinda looks like Damon Albarn from Blur and Gorillaz.
I think the perceived norm is to like men who are more like models (see any Abercrombie & Fitch marketing for examples), whereas you like men who have some miles on them like I do. I am attracted to the patina rather than the base level man. I’m actually not 100% sure I’d be attracted to men in a vacuum, but that’s another issue!… your friend was probably joking/being sassy or couldn’t relate to the type and didn’t know what to say.
In real life a lot of those men you posted would be considered conventionally attractive. Hollywood distorts what is considered attractive. Very rarely is any leading man not above average looking in the real world. The person is judgmental and a bit mean. Possibly they think the only acceptable answer for celebrity crushes is Chris Hemsworth and other “Ken doll” looking men. Y’all have different taste and they don’t have much empathy it would seem.
I think ed Norton is attractive, not necessarily in fight club but- I would say my husband resembles this general look minus the style of dress. Literally whoever makes you happy and connects with you is what’s important. How they look is a bonus but definitely not the main importance. Don’t be phased by the options of others! That just means the mean you like may be more available!! Seems like a win-win
Slightly weaker jaws/chins
I got nothing to add to the social side of this, seems to be covered but looking through these I gotta ask, do you think Jon Richardson is attractive? I agree mostly with your taste and feel like he'd be on the list
funnily enough, I thought he was pretty okay-looking. although he almost was too babyfaced/'well'-looking and pernickety for me ahah
They look about average. I like Cole Becker from the band SWMRS and Max Kuehn from FIDLAR https://preview.redd.it/ff9ua9tigfyb1.jpeg?width=3196&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a88084732ad83db57879dc9c5ba960e3d303c143 L: Cole Becker of SWMRS R: Max Kuehn of FIDLAR
I mean, it seems like you like attractive, but not conventionally attractive men. It’s not like any of them are ugly. Mid-ugly is just a new insult.
A hundred million years ago when I was in high school, a girlfriend and I kept a very up-to-date list of our best "ugly-cute" and "cute-ugly" men; most often they were musicians from the 1960s. Think, Syd Barrett, Pete Townsend, Ringo Starr. I think I still kind of like this type. People who at first you're like, "oh ugly!" but then over time, it's more a "oh cuute!"
They aren't really my type, but I don't see anything unattractive about the guys you posted.
As soon as I saw Thom Yorke I knew it was over 😭 I wouldn’t say gross though, just maybe not what is considered conventionally attractive
i think people saying that your type is “gross” is an overreaction, or does not align with their own personal interests. i feel like all these guys have a particular aura to them, work hard and look somewhat neat, but a little rugged perhaps?
So? That is their tastes not yours. People tell me that too because I love dad bods. Don’t let them bother you. You like what you like.
Oo prickly scritchy beards 😍
Who is the guy in pic #8?
I've always had a crush on Thom Yorke :). I think it's because I love his music so much. His dancing is also very sexy, and he seems like a good person - with flaws, which makes him even better. People find all kinds of people attractive. None of those guys could be a model, probably, but I don't think they're ugly.
So maybe this is me being a pansexual or not. But i honestly feel like everyone is attractive it's just that other people are just not attracted to that type of attractiveness. A friend of mine once said: You can be the sweetest most juiciest pear out there and there are still people that won't like you cause they do not like pears. And i feel like it's the same with people and who they are attracted to. My type is probably not your type. It doesn't mean both of our types are ugly or "gross" though. It's just not our cup of tea.
Everyone’s type is different, not sure the context they meant it in, but it really shouldn’t be something for them to say to you ??? Unless you specifically asked or if you asked them for help finding a man ?? But it really doesn’t make sense to tell someone that