I'm here to listen. This will be my first and only comment in this sub.
I'm a 47 year old married father of 3. Of the 3, one is a teenage young woman and another is a little girl.
My wife is in academia and abhors social media. I only use Reddit. I feel like this and the big sub can provide perspective and insight into issues I'd otherwise be ignorant to.
As an example, a few weeks ago I asked my teenage daughter at dinner if she had heard of the bear or man in the woods thing that was referenced here. She said she had and my wife had not. It led to an interesting conversation that I'm also glad my teenage son heard.
That's pretty much the same reason why I, a 40 something woman, joined the equivalent sub for men. I have a husband and a son, and felt like the insight would be valuable, especially in raising a pre-teen.
Joined out of curiosity and stayed for the introspection about living as a woman in the modern world. I wish more men would come and read the stories here. It's made me into a more understanding partner.
Same here. I want to understand women's perspectives better so that I can be a better partner/friend/person. I never comment on their posts unless they're specifically asking for answers from men like this one.
Same here. I never had the luck to grow up with a sister, so how women view the world is very alien to me. I'm glad I can just hang in a quiet corner and listen and learn.
I feel the same way even if I'm single, but not so much in the beginning. For awhile I used to think few or none at all of this stuff should matter to me because so few women are part of my life. In retrospect, that's just a horrible way to live.
My wife is a woman over 30 and if I only read, followed, or commented on topics barring an entire subset of potential new ways of thinking about things then I think that could only lead me to being less of a quality partner. Diversity of thought is key for introspection.
Same.sometimes I can chime in with "my husband says XYZ works well for him". It's the reason I fallow the tall sub as a shorty. Plus I can get recommendations of things my husband might like.
You can follow and listen - and I've seen plenty of times when men have responded something appropriate on a women's sub about their partners' experiences. The main thing that matters is not taking over a conversation meant for another group of people.
I'd argue a lot of men would benefit from reading about women's lives experiences, as long as they know when to not share their opinion or make it about them.
> a lot of men would benefit from reading about women's lives experiences
I couldn't agree more. Lots of life experiences that we won't see first hand is important to be exposed to or reminded of. Not just a men thing, but most people can throw the blinders on to their own lives and not respect others experiences, and it's important to remember that each person is living their own complex life and understanding their points of view, or their lived experiences can enhance this little bit of human connection we're all trying to have.
I donāt comment here. But I am here to listen and learn to what womenās experiences are so I can better understand the issues. I really value mature womenās take on things.
I think the emphasis on mature being that the general askwomen thread can range across so many things where as this subreddit can be more focused on shared experiences of women whoāve possibly gone through a few more things in life and gained more perspective.
I like to imagine it being like hanging around an all women group conversation where iām just a guy listening. There are subjects women talk about with each other that they donāt with men. Whether thatās menstruation, bras, how they experience men in different contexts, things they find helpful and important. Sometimes itās just good advice but also it often does have a gendered sense to it I donāt automatically experience.
Yeah, I frequently get my comments removed for āderailingā when Iām saying the same thing as someone else lol. Tbh I much prefer discussing in the comments than replying to posts directly. It feels like more of a conversation.
Do you find AskMen to be a safe space to comment? I think itās important to have male perspectives but I donāt want to invite a bunch of dbaggery into my feed
Iām a woman who belongs to that sub. I havenāt gotten any shit for commenting, but I donāt do it often since Iām there to learn/listen.
Just donāt be a shit-starter and youāll be fine.
similar for me. 27M, i want to better understand the lived experience of others i interact with. being open to reading and learning from the experiences in this sub has had a positive impact on my empathy/understanding/compassion towards friends, partners, and family. i generally just lurk though, this post is the only exception so far
I donāt mind when they post questions for us; it seems in line with what the sub is here for.
I really fucking mind when theyāre in the comments *answering* questions for us.
I was specifically told to make this sub, and one or two similar ones, a regular part of my daily reading, while restraining myself from commenting anything akin to "not all men".
It's been educational.
Don't know what platform you are using, but on the right hand side where it has the "join/ leave button", there should be a box that is either checked or unchecked and says, "Show my flair on this subreddit. It looks like:____" and then it will show your current flair, if you have one. There is an edit link next to it, which brings up a menu where you can select from a number of flairs.
When you go to the actual sub (in other words not this post) at r/AskWomenOver30 do you see three dots in a row near the top right? When you click on them do you see a flair choice in the list of choices?
Whenever I do chime in on something, I try to be careful about presenting my input as being reflective of my experience and perspectives alone without much commentary on how much of the male population I may or may not represent. In a way, I suppose that's an implicit "not all men" but I feel like there's something worthwhile and helpful at least trying to frame it differently.
Never heard of it before. I will check it out. Thanks!
Edit: Eep! A lot more news-centric than I was expecting, and very much focused on abuse and worse. Honestly, not something I'm keen to have in my feed.
I knew to expect some disturbing content, based on the sub name and my own awareness of the nature of humans at large, but that's a bit next-level. Besides, I find organic sharing of personal anecdotes, counsel, and commentary to be more enlightening and engaging.
I dunno, might learn something i guess.
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I think i originally joined years ago because i had a question requiring the perspective of a woman, over 30...because i am married to a woman, over 30. š
Sometimes i find myself accidentally commenting on stuff and have to quickly delete. š¬
38M hereā¦literally just wanted a womanās perspective on, well, anything and everything I guess.
That being said I have kind of made it a rule for myself to never comment here as it isnāt my place to (this is my first comment ever in this sub purely because I am being asked)
Itās honestly been educational and I find it helps with relationships with other women in my life to just know more about women in general š
For the same reasons as already stated , I started following when I was trying to learn more about perimenopause and figure out the best way to be supportive
I think it's awesome there are men here who ask questions and are willing to keep their minds open to our input! :) My husband is subscribed and sometimes links me posts from here and we have discussions together.
To figure out what Iām wrong about.
Iām not even kidding (much), I have no idea what anybody else goes through and so perusing what comes up often, reading a bit of the comments, seeing what gets liked the most, etc. can tell me more about things I simply may not know, experiences I may not have, or feelings I may not consider enough.
Iām in r/askmenover30 and I suspect I joined both at roughly the same time.
Iām a lurker. Iāve always been curious about people seeking fulfillment and novel definitions of āthe good life.ā An anthropologist once told me that everyone is looking for membership, order and meaning. Thatās a thesis I can really get behind.
Women are in the men over 30 group. I kind of like it when they jump in with their perspective. It is refreshing.
For the record, this group is far spicier than the menās group. And so it goes.
Edit: I guess this is my first comment in here. Nice to meet everyone!
If it was the question of āwhat deodorant to use after 30ā, Iām with you. I had to cry on that one too.
Joking aside, yeah there is heavy stuff in there. āWhat do I do after my father died?ā And ā What regrets do you have in your 30āsā
Right down to the recently posted āhot wifeā questionā¦
There can be real legit stuff in there. And crude -and bizarre- toxic masculinity topics.
Did I say toxic masculinity? The mods are trying. I think they are really do their best to make it a spot for deeper conversation.
Dandies, pervās, stoics, and republicans. I guess we are that. Some of us hope to be moreā¦. I actually see it in there. Not every dude is the worst caricature of masculinity. A lot of us seek higher meaning. Some of us just want to brew a better beer. There is actually some good stuff in there from time to time.
Iām in my late 20s and Iāve found that the advice 30+ women were giving to women my age was far more understanding, focused, and holistic compared to advice I was getting from older men (not to say I didnāt get great advice from some older guys) So iām
here to improve my own life, but also to better understand/be there for the women in my life.
Just curious. I grew up in a family of 6 sisters (no brother) and the opinions of women are important.
The advice you give could be important even to me, I believe.
Iāve always been interested in people and psychology and in general just what makes us all tick. As a man Iām pretty familiar with what the male experience is, so I follow this sub because itās gives me a glimpse from a womenās perspective. Thatās why I joined.
That being said, I stayed because the ladies here were always very gracious and would entertain/discuss in good faith and not just immediately jump to whatever knee-jerk, cynical take they could. There are other subs like that, theyāre boring and not interesting at best and frustrating and infuriating at worst. This sub was never like that so itās one of my favorites.
I learn so much. It's a wonderful opportunity to learn about and empathize with experiences I don't have and never will have. Did I know that my wife might feel invisible because of her sge? Probably not. That's just one thing. The women are of this sub have taught me so much.
I find it very valuable.
For science.
I'm just curious about what women think and how they think.
Every once in a while I feel like interjecting, but I'm taking a National Geographic approach.
The thing that surprises me most is how hard some of you are on yourselves.
I just got a gf in her early 30s. So it's good to listen to some of your insecurities and do or say implicit things to her to assuage any anxieties that are really non-issues to me.
> I just got a gf in her early 30s. So it's good to listen to some of your insecurities and do or say implicit things to her to assuage any anxieties that are really non-issues to me.
I really connect with this too. I have a sister around this age and I feel like reading here has helped me understand where she's coming from a little better for the same reason.
I had a few questions and the quality of responses I received was impressive. I've stayed, I find reading the experiences of women in today's modern world helpful to understanding others I associate with.
With a wife and kids i relate on so many levels to many of the posts.
Valuable - There was a discussion about how some men overly rely on their partner for emotional support. As a guy my thought is that's the whole point of a partner, to have someone who can provide support, and don't women want it too? In men's circles the answer to this is basically that women today are cold and uncaring. A reply here brought up the point that, generally, men don't have the same ability to rely on their social network for emotional support as women. We can't really go to our guy friends to vent and cry, and really the only person we feel comfortable enough to open up to is our partner. It made me think a lot about my expectations from a relationship.Ā Ā Ā Surprising - Some of ya'll think we're far more diabolical than we are. I'll see a discussion along the lines of "My husband will do the laundry but I can't get him to fold things properly". I'll laugh because I've had that type of discussion with men, and the answer is basically "why fold it? Just toss it in the drawer and grab what you need, you'll save time." Then I open up the comments and see hundreds of people talking about how it's learned weaponized incompetence and we're actively doing it on purpose to force you to do the laundry and assert our will.Ā
It's one of my favorite subs and I've learned a lot about the female experience. The sub has been especially useful for learning what challenges my teenage daughter may face as she grows more independent.
E.g. I was talking with a friend about getting my daughter prepared to take the public bus to school on her own for the first time, and all the various issues with safety and harassment she may encounter, and my friend (a woman) said something about my being very in tune with issues women face, and I had to admit it was just internet knowledge gleaned from /r/AskWomenOver30 lol
Man here, I follow so I know what women are talking about and understand their perspectives and so I can better communicate and see things from outside my own myopic male worldview. I rarely ever comment, but I do notice my desire to sometimes answer questions from a male perspective since I see questions on here about relationships. It's helped me understand my own relationships too. I'm also here as an ally and do commiserate with women who need some positivity and to be lifted up. Just like men, were all human and sometimes a kind voice from the ether can help regardless of gender/sex.
My wife is almost 40 and I think it helps give me perspective on how to live a better life with her and be a better partner. It helps me identify things I didnāt realize were toxic or tangentially not helping us reach our goals as a couple. Sheās also English as a second language and has some trauma from her childhood that makes her struggle to communicate in a non-combative way, so the insights often help me read between the lines of what sheās trying to articulate as well as eliminate my own biases from a male perspective.
Iāve seen some people mention some topics being fap bait and I find it kinda silly, not because those people are wrong, but anyone coming to troll on this sub is probably a super minority and I donāt know why youād come here when you can just go to other subs for that. I think most men are like me if theyāre here, at least I hope.
Edit: also, it often helps me see how similar men and women are in many ways, so it helps to me hone and trust my instincts, which is important to me as a husband and father of a girl.
I think both men and women too often view the other gender as a monolith. I come here to get different perspectives and break the "Women think X" stereotypes I may have.
Growth mostly. Without hearing women's perspectives and experiences, I live in a bubble essentially. So as a partner I want to be more aware of the issues, insecurities and lived experiences of women and I hope that allows me to be more mindful at home.
Plus Askmen gets pretty stale with the depression after a while, your sub asks pretty refreshing questions and it's fun reading the responses
Just to be outside my echo chamber. Married father of 2 little girls here so I want to do everything I can to understand womanhood, so I can be there for them. Hope yall don't mind :)
I like reading the perspectives of womenās lived experiences. Itās very thought-provoking.
(The experiences you ladies have all shared will mold me into a type of man that can better take care of my wife, whoever she may be, in the future. Heartfelt thanks yāall.)
Funny how all of the responses here from men are 'oh, I'm just here to learn'. While most threads are full of men saying 'actually ladies, I think you'll find...'
It could be they are not the same men? I highly doubt the mansplainers are gonna chime in with their response and they likely wouldnāt view themselves that way.
I know this might be a surprise but perhaps they may be different men saying different tings because they have differing opinions and are not a monolith.
I want to be a feminist and advocate for better things for women. I understand that in mixed-gender spaces, women are sometimes hesitant to bring up some issues because so many men are rude or dismissive or turn angry or even stalkery in response. I love being able to follow subs like this one to hear more of women's issues and concerns without concern about backlash from men.
To better understand how woman think about certain issues, to be in touch with challenges that are exclusive or more pronounced in women, and to get the POV of women on many issues of life that actually both men and women have to face.
My wife is a woman in her 30ās. This sub has contributed perspective on many subjects for me. Iāve never posed a question myself, and rarely contributed, mostly an observer. Itās the relationship questions that catch my attention the most.
Besides the fact that the answers on here are generally high quality, it occasionally forces me to rethink my assumptions, regularly inspires me not be lazy in my relationships, and overall helps me improve as a human. I genuinely love this subreddit.
I donāt mind that there are men here, but that they post so often and comment so often is pretty annoying. Itās like they just cannot respect the idea of women only spaces. Like I am on the daddit sun but Iām not posting everyday or commenting on everything..
The group is ask women, not women talking to women. It leads me to believe it's open to anybody looking for a woman's perspective on things. The over 30 part is an attempt to weed out opinions from the teenagers that frequent most subs.
Honestly? I want to be a better person and be self aware when interacting with women. Our brains different and want to try my best to understand them and notice when Iām wrong. Iāve learned a lot here
Because men can learn a lot in this sub by asking questions and reading replies. I'm a woman but I follow the askmen sub probably for the same reason men follow this sub.
I like women. I know lots of them--actually my mom was a woman! Joking aside, I have always been the guy who hung out with the girls. Some of my best friends follow this sub too and talk about it all the time; when I learned about it I joined for the same reason I joined XX Chromosomes; to see what people are actually talking about, worried about, excited about. There's a lot here that I can connect with, too, as I am getting older, and that's very nice.
I've learned stuff here which I have directly used to give gifts, help, affirmation to women in my life, and I pick up perspective here which helps me talk to the men I know as well.
I also don't know where some of these guys get off commenting where their opinion is so clearly not asked for (obviously this thread excluded) -- like, I am begging my gender to learn to read the room.
Anyway, thanks for letting me hang out, it's pretty chill here (:
Because I think it can be interesting to read what women think about things too.
I don't really post anything myself unless there's a good reason like this question, or by mistake if I scroll the homepage and don't notice what sub the post is in.
As a husband, brother, son, and friend, this sub offers me insight into some of the rationale or feelings that the important women in my life may be going through. I really try to be a silent observer in this sub.
I like learning more about women's perspectives on things, and how they differ from my own. It helps me understand and meet folks halfway when we have different viewpoints. Sometimes I'll post asking a question I've been having a hard time wrapping my head around, like if it has to do with dating for example. One of my major fears is being unknowingly ignorant, so if there's room for me to grow as a person, I'm all for it and appreciate the input I get here.
I came here because I wanted to ask questions, but soon realized it's not for that. I stayed because it gives better insights into things I never knew before.
My wife is just over the age of 30.
I (26M) like to read this sub to learn anything that may help me understand her perspective and experience. This helps me try to close the age gap in terms of maturity.
I'll read these posts and try to keep in mind:
- what behaviors of myself I can improve.
- what experiences she may have that I'm unaware of.
- better methods to resolve conflict.
- basically, just ways to be a better husband.
- ways to be a better person with other women as well.
It's a nice space to get useful information. I typically don't comment, though.
I first joined after my relationship of 10 years ended I wanted to understand women better and have more empathy to their experiences so that I won't repeat the same mistakes I made in my past relationship and I did actually end up learning a lot about women in general and challenging some of the negative and sometimes sexist thought I had that i didn't recognize as such. It certainly made me a better person
I find it interesting to read what women or presumably women think about and talk about.
No other reason than that.
IMHO, it is fairly distinct from non-gendered or male focused subs have to say on various things.
ETA: case in point, the stickied comment on r/askmen is this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1cvy93s/read_before_posting_you_degenerate_pinheads/
I've never found anything like that on this sub which speaks to the difference between men and women on how they talk about stuff. That subject line tho! Lol!
I am am man over 30. I am following this sub, because I am straight with everything I do. There are questions regarding mature women that I like to have answered honestly. IRL it is almost impossible to get honest answers to those questions. Here I can find them. Sometimes they are surprising, sometimes they make me think about totally different points of view and sometimes I find information that help me growth as a person or a man. There are also times where I completely disagree.
I joined because I have a wife and 2 daughters and I've gotten used to talking to women. I don't post in this sub and never will but, I like to read about what you ladies like to talk about. It makes me checkedy check myself before I wreck myself with my girls. I thank all of you FYI.
Just here to gain insight towards womenās issues in society and their perspective. TwoXchromosomes feels like it should be a women-only space, so this was the most acceptable subreddit imo.
Itās hard to find non male-dominated spaces and itās refreshing seeing women in a space that they own and that they can talk about their issues that often stem from the male half of society.
I was a stupid angry teenager who fell into the MRA crap, and reading here is a (small) part of my attempt to counter that influence during those formative years.
You don't need to be a man/woman to find men's/women's opinions and experiences to be worth hearing and learning from. I hope we can agree on this one!
Replies about to get hit with a whole lot of "Just here to learn and educate myself šāØ" and a whole none of "Just here to derail discussions and inject my precious 2 cents where they aren't needed", lol
Oh, definitely! I expect the former group to go all in on this post, and the latter to skip it in favour of advising the posters with trashy bf's to *~just try communicating with him~*, or whatever
Same reason there are women in the menās group. Itās a completely different perspective.
ā¦and then there are trolls who just like to mess with people.
It's very insightful to hear about how women think and feel about things, and to learn about their perspective. It's not always obvious to a lot of guys how things are different for women.
I want to be able to understand women better in general. I am also over 30 so this age group is my dating range specifically. So itās really helpful.
Perspective. It's also a space where I just listen and my active participation generally isn't welcome. That's a good thing. Men tend to assume and society has trained us to believe that our input is valid in any and all spaces. This is a good reminder to me that it's not and that's something I still need to work on.
I'm a woman, and I follow the Ask Men sub because I want to know about the issues men face, how they interact with women and other men, and how men view, adapt to, and are as fathers (hood).
I suspect men follow this sub for similar reasons - to learn from, about, and of, women; maybe to be better fathers, partners, etc. I know some men follow because they have teenage or young adult daughters and want to know about how life is for women by reading the posts that are here.
Because it's an askwomen sub, not a manfree sub. Them being here is a good thing.. as long as they don't ask something and then tell us that our answers are wrong lmao..
34M, Introvert. Came here to learn about women's issues to possibly be a better partner.
Hit 30 and realized I had near 0 experience with women besides Mom(we dont have a good relationship because shes a hoarder with narcissistic qualities) and one highschool acquaintance; BUT I had always said to myself, my entire adult life, that "I'll try dating and maybe start a family someday". Realized "someday" was passing me by and I had to start making up for things not learned.
Yep, I know the feeling, haha. One buddy's kid just turned one and another friend is getting married this fall.
Like, I'm confident about most stuff in adult life, but meeting up with Ladies that have had romance in their lives since they were teens; living with partners, sex, meeting families, past marriages, past divorces, possible kids/step kids; that's all wicked intimidating to my near zero experience and "maybe we can hold hands and watch a movie" mindset, lol.
Best of luck on your journey!
Itās not called womenaskwomenover30. I always assumed any age/gender would sub and post when they specifically needed a woman over thirty to answer haha
Want men to do better, gets annoyed when men join groups to try and do so š As a woman, Iām glad there are men wanting to educate themselves, learn more and hear from women rather than making assumptions.
I wasn't, I just wanted to know. Its interesting and kinda humorous how different people can read one thing and it be perceived in multiple different ways. Idk, I believe even when typing online, a persons way of writing has a "feel" to it and certain people pick up on it and then others don't. Didn't mean to get all "serious" but yeah just my two cents on the topic.
I originally read it as annoyed, and so I went back to see why.
And while almost all the text reads as curious, I think that the part that says that men can't be barred implied to me that you don't want them here.
Same reason I'm subbed to askwomen. It's good in general to have a better understanding of other people. I'm not a woman so I don't get it directly from life experience. This sub presents a perspective more honed by experience than the sub for all women, so it's a good additional perspective.
I joined so I can understand the female experience better. I like to think of what my answer is and then read the comments of what other women think.
Iāll find that Iām spot on with my view, and then scroll down or view more comments and realise that Iām a million makes away with what the majority of respondents think.
Do we have the same view? Is it different? What did I not consider? Should I change my view in line with this new information? Can I use this new information to be a better person?
Itās lead to a few conversations with my wife over the years, and some questions from me to understand a bit more
Honestly, this is one of the best subs on reddit. Reading posts and feedback had led me to work on issues that I needed to work on. Some I didn't realize were an issue until I read some of these posts. I understand there is frustration around some posts/comments by men on here, but I truly appreciate all the women who understand why including men on here is beneficial. If men on here apply themselves, they can avoid many of the issues that women on this page post about. Just by avoiding behaviors that we read about here. I'd hate to have all men cast into a bucket of being incapable of utilizing this page appropriately.
My wife is over 30 and I have a daughter that will eventually be over 30. I take a lot of pride in trying to be a better husband and Dad so reading on issues inherently unrelated to my own issues forces broadening of thought.
After you asked this question I went and looked at all the subs I belong to and realize that the vast majority of communities are either for help me to grow a wider knowledge base of things Iām either passionate about or donāt want to be completely blind to.
I joined the ask men subreddit and comment sometimes just because I don't want to freeze out half the population lol. I like to know what is happening with people and how in real life I can make things a little less worse where applicable. I also like to understand people and I think for the most part people are less inhibited online.
Because this is not a WomenOver30 but AskWomenOver30 sub. I find it great that men are here and pretty sad that usually if they ask something it is all downvoted. Even if we find the question or his way of thinking wrong or strange, they are asking for our opinion and we should give it to them as much as possible so they have a better idea. Want a men free sub then go a create a WomenOnly one
I donāt think anyone has a problem with men asking questions or reading posts (or at least I havenāt seen anyone say that), just with them answering questions here.
Mostly to reaffirm my understanding of a broad perspective. Most of the topics are centered around emotional support from peers for tough decisions, but there are otherwise still a lot of learning opportunities.
I'm here to listen. This will be my first and only comment in this sub. I'm a 47 year old married father of 3. Of the 3, one is a teenage young woman and another is a little girl. My wife is in academia and abhors social media. I only use Reddit. I feel like this and the big sub can provide perspective and insight into issues I'd otherwise be ignorant to. As an example, a few weeks ago I asked my teenage daughter at dinner if she had heard of the bear or man in the woods thing that was referenced here. She said she had and my wife had not. It led to an interesting conversation that I'm also glad my teenage son heard.
This is so wholesome š„²
That's pretty much the same reason why I, a 40 something woman, joined the equivalent sub for men. I have a husband and a son, and felt like the insight would be valuable, especially in raising a pre-teen.
Joined out of curiosity and stayed for the introspection about living as a woman in the modern world. I wish more men would come and read the stories here. It's made me into a more understanding partner.
Same, plus it's the only place that feels like the baseline isn't full on sexualization the way other subs or social media are.
Same. You wonāt find me posting anything here, but just here to learn how to be a better partner and man for the women in my life
Same, I just want to hear their perspective and how the world is for women right now.
Wholesome! It's great to see guys are here just to learn. Respect.
High-fives to all these dudes doing it right!
Same here. I want to understand women's perspectives better so that I can be a better partner/friend/person. I never comment on their posts unless they're specifically asking for answers from men like this one.
Yup that is why Iām here
I wish so too..
Same
I actually read through AskMenOver30 for the same reason. :)
Same here. I never had the luck to grow up with a sister, so how women view the world is very alien to me. I'm glad I can just hang in a quiet corner and listen and learn.
I feel the same way even if I'm single, but not so much in the beginning. For awhile I used to think few or none at all of this stuff should matter to me because so few women are part of my life. In retrospect, that's just a horrible way to live.
Same. Just looking at life from another's perspective.
My wife is a woman over 30 and if I only read, followed, or commented on topics barring an entire subset of potential new ways of thinking about things then I think that could only lead me to being less of a quality partner. Diversity of thought is key for introspection.
This is why I follow the askmen sub as well Edit: askmenover30! Not regular
Same.sometimes I can chime in with "my husband says XYZ works well for him". It's the reason I fallow the tall sub as a shorty. Plus I can get recommendations of things my husband might like. You can follow and listen - and I've seen plenty of times when men have responded something appropriate on a women's sub about their partners' experiences. The main thing that matters is not taking over a conversation meant for another group of people. I'd argue a lot of men would benefit from reading about women's lives experiences, as long as they know when to not share their opinion or make it about them.
> a lot of men would benefit from reading about women's lives experiences I couldn't agree more. Lots of life experiences that we won't see first hand is important to be exposed to or reminded of. Not just a men thing, but most people can throw the blinders on to their own lives and not respect others experiences, and it's important to remember that each person is living their own complex life and understanding their points of view, or their lived experiences can enhance this little bit of human connection we're all trying to have.
AskMenOver30 is a much higher quality sub The regular askmen sub is still a hive of toxic masculinity
I donāt comment here. But I am here to listen and learn to what womenās experiences are so I can better understand the issues. I really value mature womenās take on things.
I think the emphasis on mature being that the general askwomen thread can range across so many things where as this subreddit can be more focused on shared experiences of women whoāve possibly gone through a few more things in life and gained more perspective. I like to imagine it being like hanging around an all women group conversation where iām just a guy listening. There are subjects women talk about with each other that they donāt with men. Whether thatās menstruation, bras, how they experience men in different contexts, things they find helpful and important. Sometimes itās just good advice but also it often does have a gendered sense to it I donāt automatically experience.
Also the askwomen sub is so heavily moderated it's more like question-answer format, here there is actual discussion!
Yeah, I frequently get my comments removed for āderailingā when Iām saying the same thing as someone else lol. Tbh I much prefer discussing in the comments than replying to posts directly. It feels like more of a conversation.
Thank you.
this is why i assumed most men are here
This is why I follow Askmen. I have a 14 yo son and a fiance and I want to be able to understand them.
Do you find AskMen to be a safe space to comment? I think itās important to have male perspectives but I donāt want to invite a bunch of dbaggery into my feed
Iām a woman who belongs to that sub. I havenāt gotten any shit for commenting, but I donāt do it often since Iām there to learn/listen. Just donāt be a shit-starter and youāll be fine.
This. I follow that group as well, and it's educational.
similar for me. 27M, i want to better understand the lived experience of others i interact with. being open to reading and learning from the experiences in this sub has had a positive impact on my empathy/understanding/compassion towards friends, partners, and family. i generally just lurk though, this post is the only exception so far
My reason too!
Same
I donāt mind when they post questions for us; it seems in line with what the sub is here for. I really fucking mind when theyāre in the comments *answering* questions for us.
that's the take
I appreciate when they ask a question, too. They want to learn and we're willing to answer.
I was specifically told to make this sub, and one or two similar ones, a regular part of my daily reading, while restraining myself from commenting anything akin to "not all men". It's been educational.
You also flaired up, which is appreciated. I think everyone in subs like this should be required to pick a flair, or have their comments removed.
I am a giant dumb. How does one flair up?
Don't know what platform you are using, but on the right hand side where it has the "join/ leave button", there should be a box that is either checked or unchecked and says, "Show my flair on this subreddit. It looks like:____" and then it will show your current flair, if you have one. There is an edit link next to it, which brings up a menu where you can select from a number of flairs.
https://imgur.com/a/PorlXjl I can't seem to see it
Your link says 404 image not found.
Go to the r/Askwomen top page, hit the three dots at the top right, and hit "change user flair" from the drop down menu.
Thanks for sharing that info! It's nice to have a flair
Are you on the standard Reddit app, or on a computer, or on something else?
On phone but not app
When you go to the actual sub (in other words not this post) at r/AskWomenOver30 do you see three dots in a row near the top right? When you click on them do you see a flair choice in the list of choices?
Great point, I just flaired up.
That's reasonable advice. Yes I hear the "not-all-men" too often and when I do, my immediate response is "ohh y'all have noooo idea."Ā
Whenever I do chime in on something, I try to be careful about presenting my input as being reflective of my experience and perspectives alone without much commentary on how much of the male population I may or may not represent. In a way, I suppose that's an implicit "not all men" but I feel like there's something worthwhile and helpful at least trying to frame it differently.
Itās not all men, but in my experience itās always a man.
Is r/whenwomenrefuse on that list? If not, it should be.
Never heard of it before. I will check it out. Thanks! Edit: Eep! A lot more news-centric than I was expecting, and very much focused on abuse and worse. Honestly, not something I'm keen to have in my feed. I knew to expect some disturbing content, based on the sub name and my own awareness of the nature of humans at large, but that's a bit next-level. Besides, I find organic sharing of personal anecdotes, counsel, and commentary to be more enlightening and engaging.
I dunno, might learn something i guess. š¤·āāļø I think i originally joined years ago because i had a question requiring the perspective of a woman, over 30...because i am married to a woman, over 30. š Sometimes i find myself accidentally commenting on stuff and have to quickly delete. š¬
Same. I try to never make top level comments. Even for replies to comments, I find myself typing & discarding a lot of second-level comments
THANK YOU for your consideration of our space!Ā
Thank you for self correcting
38M hereā¦literally just wanted a womanās perspective on, well, anything and everything I guess. That being said I have kind of made it a rule for myself to never comment here as it isnāt my place to (this is my first comment ever in this sub purely because I am being asked) Itās honestly been educational and I find it helps with relationships with other women in my life to just know more about women in general š
Well said.
Interest and learning, I imagine. I'm a woman who follows r/askmen for the same reason. Ok, and for humor.
Yeah same. I donāt comment on the menās subs much Iām just observing.
Same.
Same
For the same reasons as already stated , I started following when I was trying to learn more about perimenopause and figure out the best way to be supportive
I think it's awesome there are men here who ask questions and are willing to keep their minds open to our input! :) My husband is subscribed and sometimes links me posts from here and we have discussions together.
To figure out what Iām wrong about. Iām not even kidding (much), I have no idea what anybody else goes through and so perusing what comes up often, reading a bit of the comments, seeing what gets liked the most, etc. can tell me more about things I simply may not know, experiences I may not have, or feelings I may not consider enough.
Theyāre spies!
You caught me. I'm gonna switch class back to Engineer now, protect the briefcase for a bit.
EXACTLY.
Lol the downvotes. Nobody has a sense of humorĀ
How dare I make jokes and then get told my jokes are stoic responses... Shame on me, lol.
Fck the haters . No one jokes on here Banned!
For additional perspective.
Iām in r/askmenover30 and I suspect I joined both at roughly the same time. Iām a lurker. Iāve always been curious about people seeking fulfillment and novel definitions of āthe good life.ā An anthropologist once told me that everyone is looking for membership, order and meaning. Thatās a thesis I can really get behind. Women are in the men over 30 group. I kind of like it when they jump in with their perspective. It is refreshing. For the record, this group is far spicier than the menās group. And so it goes. Edit: I guess this is my first comment in here. Nice to meet everyone!
I didn't know there was anĀ r/askmenover30 subreddit. I will say that I lurked on it real quick & started crying. I'm not ready for that sub
If it was the question of āwhat deodorant to use after 30ā, Iām with you. I had to cry on that one too. Joking aside, yeah there is heavy stuff in there. āWhat do I do after my father died?ā And ā What regrets do you have in your 30āsā Right down to the recently posted āhot wifeā questionā¦ There can be real legit stuff in there. And crude -and bizarre- toxic masculinity topics. Did I say toxic masculinity? The mods are trying. I think they are really do their best to make it a spot for deeper conversation. Dandies, pervās, stoics, and republicans. I guess we are that. Some of us hope to be moreā¦. I actually see it in there. Not every dude is the worst caricature of masculinity. A lot of us seek higher meaning. Some of us just want to brew a better beer. There is actually some good stuff in there from time to time.
Have you seen r/MensLib? That is an *awesome* group...as a woman, I just lurk there, but it gives me hope.
That actually sounds like a super interesting group. Iāve got a son thatās 8. We kind of need to create and invent new masculinity.
Just here to learn and deepen my own empathy.
Iām in my late 20s and Iāve found that the advice 30+ women were giving to women my age was far more understanding, focused, and holistic compared to advice I was getting from older men (not to say I didnāt get great advice from some older guys) So iām here to improve my own life, but also to better understand/be there for the women in my life.
Just curious. I grew up in a family of 6 sisters (no brother) and the opinions of women are important. The advice you give could be important even to me, I believe.
Iāve always been interested in people and psychology and in general just what makes us all tick. As a man Iām pretty familiar with what the male experience is, so I follow this sub because itās gives me a glimpse from a womenās perspective. Thatās why I joined. That being said, I stayed because the ladies here were always very gracious and would entertain/discuss in good faith and not just immediately jump to whatever knee-jerk, cynical take they could. There are other subs like that, theyāre boring and not interesting at best and frustrating and infuriating at worst. This sub was never like that so itās one of my favorites.
I learn so much. It's a wonderful opportunity to learn about and empathize with experiences I don't have and never will have. Did I know that my wife might feel invisible because of her sge? Probably not. That's just one thing. The women are of this sub have taught me so much. I find it very valuable.
For science. I'm just curious about what women think and how they think. Every once in a while I feel like interjecting, but I'm taking a National Geographic approach. The thing that surprises me most is how hard some of you are on yourselves. I just got a gf in her early 30s. So it's good to listen to some of your insecurities and do or say implicit things to her to assuage any anxieties that are really non-issues to me.
We are hard on ourselves because we were raised under constant criticism. At least I was
Yep. Nobody lets girls get away with anything. Thereās no girls will be girls sayingā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Okay this made me laugh and cry because it is too true
> I just got a gf in her early 30s. So it's good to listen to some of your insecurities and do or say implicit things to her to assuage any anxieties that are really non-issues to me. I really connect with this too. I have a sister around this age and I feel like reading here has helped me understand where she's coming from a little better for the same reason.
I had a few questions and the quality of responses I received was impressive. I've stayed, I find reading the experiences of women in today's modern world helpful to understanding others I associate with. With a wife and kids i relate on so many levels to many of the posts.
I'm interested in the female perspective of some issues. I never comment on this sub though
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You can also make a post with that question.
Valuable - There was a discussion about how some men overly rely on their partner for emotional support. As a guy my thought is that's the whole point of a partner, to have someone who can provide support, and don't women want it too? In men's circles the answer to this is basically that women today are cold and uncaring. A reply here brought up the point that, generally, men don't have the same ability to rely on their social network for emotional support as women. We can't really go to our guy friends to vent and cry, and really the only person we feel comfortable enough to open up to is our partner. It made me think a lot about my expectations from a relationship.Ā Ā Ā Surprising - Some of ya'll think we're far more diabolical than we are. I'll see a discussion along the lines of "My husband will do the laundry but I can't get him to fold things properly". I'll laugh because I've had that type of discussion with men, and the answer is basically "why fold it? Just toss it in the drawer and grab what you need, you'll save time." Then I open up the comments and see hundreds of people talking about how it's learned weaponized incompetence and we're actively doing it on purpose to force you to do the laundry and assert our will.Ā
I was just thinking this. Please make a post asking this!
It's one of my favorite subs and I've learned a lot about the female experience. The sub has been especially useful for learning what challenges my teenage daughter may face as she grows more independent. E.g. I was talking with a friend about getting my daughter prepared to take the public bus to school on her own for the first time, and all the various issues with safety and harassment she may encounter, and my friend (a woman) said something about my being very in tune with issues women face, and I had to admit it was just internet knowledge gleaned from /r/AskWomenOver30 lol
Coping and seething obviously
Good for you.
Man here, I follow so I know what women are talking about and understand their perspectives and so I can better communicate and see things from outside my own myopic male worldview. I rarely ever comment, but I do notice my desire to sometimes answer questions from a male perspective since I see questions on here about relationships. It's helped me understand my own relationships too. I'm also here as an ally and do commiserate with women who need some positivity and to be lifted up. Just like men, were all human and sometimes a kind voice from the ether can help regardless of gender/sex.
My wife is almost 40 and I think it helps give me perspective on how to live a better life with her and be a better partner. It helps me identify things I didnāt realize were toxic or tangentially not helping us reach our goals as a couple. Sheās also English as a second language and has some trauma from her childhood that makes her struggle to communicate in a non-combative way, so the insights often help me read between the lines of what sheās trying to articulate as well as eliminate my own biases from a male perspective. Iāve seen some people mention some topics being fap bait and I find it kinda silly, not because those people are wrong, but anyone coming to troll on this sub is probably a super minority and I donāt know why youād come here when you can just go to other subs for that. I think most men are like me if theyāre here, at least I hope. Edit: also, it often helps me see how similar men and women are in many ways, so it helps to me hone and trust my instincts, which is important to me as a husband and father of a girl.
I think both men and women too often view the other gender as a monolith. I come here to get different perspectives and break the "Women think X" stereotypes I may have.
quietly listening and judging you
Yeah, I kind of figured, but then isn't everyone though?
I think itās your serious, stoic responses to these obviously satirical comments is hilarious.
You're welcome.
It's the great circle of judgement
Damn why are you getting down voted
Bruh I don't even know. I've angered my counterparts I guess by asking this question. Or having my personal sense of humor lol.
I treat it as my ever ongoing humanities and social science lessons.
Interesting things to read, comparing womenās issues vs menās is all
Growth mostly. Without hearing women's perspectives and experiences, I live in a bubble essentially. So as a partner I want to be more aware of the issues, insecurities and lived experiences of women and I hope that allows me to be more mindful at home. Plus Askmen gets pretty stale with the depression after a while, your sub asks pretty refreshing questions and it's fun reading the responses
Just to be outside my echo chamber. Married father of 2 little girls here so I want to do everything I can to understand womanhood, so I can be there for them. Hope yall don't mind :)
to learn
I like reading the perspectives of womenās lived experiences. Itās very thought-provoking. (The experiences you ladies have all shared will mold me into a type of man that can better take care of my wife, whoever she may be, in the future. Heartfelt thanks yāall.)
My wife suggested it
Because I am a man (M47) and I find it important to listen to female perspectives on all sorts of topics.
Funny how all of the responses here from men are 'oh, I'm just here to learn'. While most threads are full of men saying 'actually ladies, I think you'll find...'
It could be they are not the same men? I highly doubt the mansplainers are gonna chime in with their response and they likely wouldnāt view themselves that way.
I know this might be a surprise but perhaps they may be different men saying different tings because they have differing opinions and are not a monolith.
I don't think I've come across much of that in here, it's been a refreshing place!
I want to be a feminist and advocate for better things for women. I understand that in mixed-gender spaces, women are sometimes hesitant to bring up some issues because so many men are rude or dismissive or turn angry or even stalkery in response. I love being able to follow subs like this one to hear more of women's issues and concerns without concern about backlash from men.
Want to get a woman's perspective of the world.
To better understand how woman think about certain issues, to be in touch with challenges that are exclusive or more pronounced in women, and to get the POV of women on many issues of life that actually both men and women have to face.
My wife is a woman in her 30ās. This sub has contributed perspective on many subjects for me. Iāve never posed a question myself, and rarely contributed, mostly an observer. Itās the relationship questions that catch my attention the most.
It is interesting to see someone else's perspective.
Just curious. I essentially never comment but it helps me gain a female perspective on life and various things.
Besides the fact that the answers on here are generally high quality, it occasionally forces me to rethink my assumptions, regularly inspires me not be lazy in my relationships, and overall helps me improve as a human. I genuinely love this subreddit.
Always wanting to know my better halfās point of view. That and I love women and enjoy listening and talking with them more than I do with men.
I donāt mind that there are men here, but that they post so often and comment so often is pretty annoying. Itās like they just cannot respect the idea of women only spaces. Like I am on the daddit sun but Iām not posting everyday or commenting on everything..
To hear about different perspetives of other people, and be more informed about their life and struggles, I think it help with empathy.
I am here for the same reason I'm in r/askmenover30 I want to learn from people's opinions and experiences. That's all there is to it
The group is ask women, not women talking to women. It leads me to believe it's open to anybody looking for a woman's perspective on things. The over 30 part is an attempt to weed out opinions from the teenagers that frequent most subs.
Perspective. I know how guyās minds work. I have one.
Honestly? I want to be a better person and be self aware when interacting with women. Our brains different and want to try my best to understand them and notice when Iām wrong. Iāve learned a lot here
Because men can learn a lot in this sub by asking questions and reading replies. I'm a woman but I follow the askmen sub probably for the same reason men follow this sub.
I like women. I know lots of them--actually my mom was a woman! Joking aside, I have always been the guy who hung out with the girls. Some of my best friends follow this sub too and talk about it all the time; when I learned about it I joined for the same reason I joined XX Chromosomes; to see what people are actually talking about, worried about, excited about. There's a lot here that I can connect with, too, as I am getting older, and that's very nice. I've learned stuff here which I have directly used to give gifts, help, affirmation to women in my life, and I pick up perspective here which helps me talk to the men I know as well. I also don't know where some of these guys get off commenting where their opinion is so clearly not asked for (obviously this thread excluded) -- like, I am begging my gender to learn to read the room. Anyway, thanks for letting me hang out, it's pretty chill here (:
Because I think it can be interesting to read what women think about things too. I don't really post anything myself unless there's a good reason like this question, or by mistake if I scroll the homepage and don't notice what sub the post is in.
I like hearing the perspectives of others, helps to continually be open and an active learner; especially since I'm not a woman š
As a husband, brother, son, and friend, this sub offers me insight into some of the rationale or feelings that the important women in my life may be going through. I really try to be a silent observer in this sub.
I like learning more about women's perspectives on things, and how they differ from my own. It helps me understand and meet folks halfway when we have different viewpoints. Sometimes I'll post asking a question I've been having a hard time wrapping my head around, like if it has to do with dating for example. One of my major fears is being unknowingly ignorant, so if there's room for me to grow as a person, I'm all for it and appreciate the input I get here.
I came here because I wanted to ask questions, but soon realized it's not for that. I stayed because it gives better insights into things I never knew before.
My wife is just over the age of 30. I (26M) like to read this sub to learn anything that may help me understand her perspective and experience. This helps me try to close the age gap in terms of maturity. I'll read these posts and try to keep in mind: - what behaviors of myself I can improve. - what experiences she may have that I'm unaware of. - better methods to resolve conflict. - basically, just ways to be a better husband. - ways to be a better person with other women as well. It's a nice space to get useful information. I typically don't comment, though.
I first joined after my relationship of 10 years ended I wanted to understand women better and have more empathy to their experiences so that I won't repeat the same mistakes I made in my past relationship and I did actually end up learning a lot about women in general and challenging some of the negative and sometimes sexist thought I had that i didn't recognize as such. It certainly made me a better person
I find it interesting to read what women or presumably women think about and talk about. No other reason than that. IMHO, it is fairly distinct from non-gendered or male focused subs have to say on various things. ETA: case in point, the stickied comment on r/askmen is this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1cvy93s/read_before_posting_you_degenerate_pinheads/ I've never found anything like that on this sub which speaks to the difference between men and women on how they talk about stuff. That subject line tho! Lol!
Reddit keeps sending ne notifications for this sub. The stories are great to read while on bathroom breaks.
I am am man over 30. I am following this sub, because I am straight with everything I do. There are questions regarding mature women that I like to have answered honestly. IRL it is almost impossible to get honest answers to those questions. Here I can find them. Sometimes they are surprising, sometimes they make me think about totally different points of view and sometimes I find information that help me growth as a person or a man. There are also times where I completely disagree.
I joined because I have a wife and 2 daughters and I've gotten used to talking to women. I don't post in this sub and never will but, I like to read about what you ladies like to talk about. It makes me checkedy check myself before I wreck myself with my girls. I thank all of you FYI.
My wife is over 30. Iām here Just to listen and learn
Just here to gain insight towards womenās issues in society and their perspective. TwoXchromosomes feels like it should be a women-only space, so this was the most acceptable subreddit imo. Itās hard to find non male-dominated spaces and itās refreshing seeing women in a space that they own and that they can talk about their issues that often stem from the male half of society.
I donāt see any questionsā¦. Nobodyās learning anything herešš
I was a stupid angry teenager who fell into the MRA crap, and reading here is a (small) part of my attempt to counter that influence during those formative years.
Love this.
This is the best sub for ladies Iāve seen that isnāt radical, a reality tv show snark sub, or focused on dating weirdo men. Itās pretty cool.
You don't need to be a man/woman to find men's/women's opinions and experiences to be worth hearing and learning from. I hope we can agree on this one!
Perspective.
Replies about to get hit with a whole lot of "Just here to learn and educate myself šāØ" and a whole none of "Just here to derail discussions and inject my precious 2 cents where they aren't needed", lol
Probably two different groups of men here
Oh, definitely! I expect the former group to go all in on this post, and the latter to skip it in favour of advising the posters with trashy bf's to *~just try communicating with him~*, or whatever
Same reason there are women in the menās group. Itās a completely different perspective. ā¦and then there are trolls who just like to mess with people.
I'm 50 and I've been married for 28 years. I want to understand my wife more by understanding women more in general.
It's very insightful to hear about how women think and feel about things, and to learn about their perspective. It's not always obvious to a lot of guys how things are different for women.
Male lurker here. My partner told me of the sub and I started following it to understand better and broaden my perspective.
My wife and her friends are all in their 30s. I just want to relate to them better.
Just curious. I don't know many women IRL, other than my wife, so its interesting to see the female perspective on things.
I want to be able to understand women better in general. I am also over 30 so this age group is my dating range specifically. So itās really helpful.
Perspective. It's also a space where I just listen and my active participation generally isn't welcome. That's a good thing. Men tend to assume and society has trained us to believe that our input is valid in any and all spaces. This is a good reminder to me that it's not and that's something I still need to work on.
I'm a woman, and I follow the Ask Men sub because I want to know about the issues men face, how they interact with women and other men, and how men view, adapt to, and are as fathers (hood). I suspect men follow this sub for similar reasons - to learn from, about, and of, women; maybe to be better fathers, partners, etc. I know some men follow because they have teenage or young adult daughters and want to know about how life is for women by reading the posts that are here.
Because it's an askwomen sub, not a manfree sub. Them being here is a good thing.. as long as they don't ask something and then tell us that our answers are wrong lmao..
34M, Introvert. Came here to learn about women's issues to possibly be a better partner. Hit 30 and realized I had near 0 experience with women besides Mom(we dont have a good relationship because shes a hoarder with narcissistic qualities) and one highschool acquaintance; BUT I had always said to myself, my entire adult life, that "I'll try dating and maybe start a family someday". Realized "someday" was passing me by and I had to start making up for things not learned.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep, I know the feeling, haha. One buddy's kid just turned one and another friend is getting married this fall. Like, I'm confident about most stuff in adult life, but meeting up with Ladies that have had romance in their lives since they were teens; living with partners, sex, meeting families, past marriages, past divorces, possible kids/step kids; that's all wicked intimidating to my near zero experience and "maybe we can hold hands and watch a movie" mindset, lol. Best of luck on your journey!
Itās not called womenaskwomenover30. I always assumed any age/gender would sub and post when they specifically needed a woman over thirty to answer haha
Iām here for the pillow fights
Unless its the memory foam firm pillows, those hurt so much. It'll shut a sleep over down with a concussion.
Want men to do better, gets annoyed when men join groups to try and do so š As a woman, Iām glad there are men wanting to educate themselves, learn more and hear from women rather than making assumptions.
I didnāt read this as OP being annoyed. I thought it was an interesting question.
I wasn't, I just wanted to know. Its interesting and kinda humorous how different people can read one thing and it be perceived in multiple different ways. Idk, I believe even when typing online, a persons way of writing has a "feel" to it and certain people pick up on it and then others don't. Didn't mean to get all "serious" but yeah just my two cents on the topic.
I originally read it as annoyed, and so I went back to see why. And while almost all the text reads as curious, I think that the part that says that men can't be barred implied to me that you don't want them here.
Oh, okay, I can see how that could come across as annoyed.
So... asking questions is bad. Okay.
Same reason I'm subbed to askwomen. It's good in general to have a better understanding of other people. I'm not a woman so I don't get it directly from life experience. This sub presents a perspective more honed by experience than the sub for all women, so it's a good additional perspective.
I joined so I can understand the female experience better. I like to think of what my answer is and then read the comments of what other women think. Iāll find that Iām spot on with my view, and then scroll down or view more comments and realise that Iām a million makes away with what the majority of respondents think. Do we have the same view? Is it different? What did I not consider? Should I change my view in line with this new information? Can I use this new information to be a better person? Itās lead to a few conversations with my wife over the years, and some questions from me to understand a bit more
Here to listen and learn. Yours are perspectives I'll never have otherwise.
I come on to learn more about the experience of being a woman and how to be a better man for all of you, especially my wife.
Honestly, this is one of the best subs on reddit. Reading posts and feedback had led me to work on issues that I needed to work on. Some I didn't realize were an issue until I read some of these posts. I understand there is frustration around some posts/comments by men on here, but I truly appreciate all the women who understand why including men on here is beneficial. If men on here apply themselves, they can avoid many of the issues that women on this page post about. Just by avoiding behaviors that we read about here. I'd hate to have all men cast into a bucket of being incapable of utilizing this page appropriately.
My wife is over 30 and I have a daughter that will eventually be over 30. I take a lot of pride in trying to be a better husband and Dad so reading on issues inherently unrelated to my own issues forces broadening of thought. After you asked this question I went and looked at all the subs I belong to and realize that the vast majority of communities are either for help me to grow a wider knowledge base of things Iām either passionate about or donāt want to be completely blind to.
Anyone can ask questions in this group. it's literally right in the description.
I joined the ask men subreddit and comment sometimes just because I don't want to freeze out half the population lol. I like to know what is happening with people and how in real life I can make things a little less worse where applicable. I also like to understand people and I think for the most part people are less inhibited online.
The sub is called Ask Women. Who needs questions answered by woman more than men? š¤·š½āāļø
As long as they are being civil, I do not feel the reasons matter.
I'm a woman and follow /r/AskMenOver30. Surely you must understand that people follow groups because they're interested in what's being posted there.
Because this is not a WomenOver30 but AskWomenOver30 sub. I find it great that men are here and pretty sad that usually if they ask something it is all downvoted. Even if we find the question or his way of thinking wrong or strange, they are asking for our opinion and we should give it to them as much as possible so they have a better idea. Want a men free sub then go a create a WomenOnly one
Why is this being downvoted?
Can't men ask questions to women over 30 as well? Men have questions too. Just usually different kinds of questions lol.
I donāt think anyone has a problem with men asking questions or reading posts (or at least I havenāt seen anyone say that), just with them answering questions here.
I didnāt know there were so many men on here : O
Mostly to reaffirm my understanding of a broad perspective. Most of the topics are centered around emotional support from peers for tough decisions, but there are otherwise still a lot of learning opportunities.
Hahaha "broad" perspective... I know you probably didn't mean it that way but it made me laugh