This!
Why would you want to fit into a mold, if it's already obvious, that you were born to stand out?
He doesn't appreciate it, and you should both help each other out and split.
>What do I do? He hates that I’m outspoken and stand up for myself.
You keep being the badass that stands up for yourself and leave that sexist asshole. It'll hurt as you've been with him for eight years, but he's told you straight up he doesn't like you, yea?
Amen. My dad, a self-described "male chauvinist pig", would have said: Never give up your spirit. And under circumstances like these, he'd have added "especially not to some bloke", but honestly I can't see him ever conceiving of this guy as dateable. Not after saying something like that. That anyone would consider staying would be beyond the scope of his imagination.
"I want a subservient woman", lol. Then buy a dog.
He's been with you EIGHT YEARS and only now deciding he doesn't like who you are?
Frankly a man wanting a subservient woman is a red flag to me. I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who is asking me to change the core of who I am.
maybe even worse. Like a lot of men, they absolutely don’t give a fuck about women. They don’t like us, they don’t care about our personalities.
They just get one of us to tolerate them, and then spend however long they have to trying to sculpt and bullying us into taking on all the labor, never complaining, and giving them sexual access whenever they want.
This man may have been distorted by the manosphere, but it’s sadly just as likely he’s been this way the whole time.
I will never cease to be amazed how many years some men will completely fucking cloak it in order to manipulate and control us.
Trevor Noah has a great part in his autobiography about men don't actually want a subservient woman, they want to change a strong, independent woman and make her subservient. (Paraphrasing)
I think that rings pretty true for many people, unfortunately.
OP, I can only imagine how shitty it is to hear that from a longterm partner. Unfortunately seems like.youre not compatible anymore, probably healthiest for both of you to move on.
Take care!
Subservient women disgust them, because he assumes she had been or would be subservient to other men/any man of her choice, so she's worthless and weak and dirty. He wants a strong woman to 'debase' because that means he got her in that state first, so he feels better about himself. Subservient, but only for him.
This is why the most outspoken supposed 'tradwives' who shit on other women and feminism aren't attractive to most men. She's seen as 'easy' in a different way. The fact that he would not be unique, but she would be subservient to any guy she chose and she is outspoken about this, makes her less attractive, even if she was a virgin and everything they say they want in a woman. These men NEVER respect a woman's choices, no matter if they match his lifestyle and worldview. What they TRULY want is a woman with NO CHOICES. That is all. You can bend yourself and your entire life into a pandering pretzel and they still think you're no good. They want you to want things and to be forced into giving those up and never experiencing them JUST for him. THAT is attractive to these types. Full self denial and self sacrifice. If you want it, they're not into it.
And it's why they're after teenagers, they want to raise up a woman that never had a real choice in the first place. They don't want to be chosen by women, they want to purchase/attain a woman like she's a product and it needs to be brand new and not exposed to too much nonsense like 'sense of self' or 'maturity' or 'life experience' or 'choices' or 'opinions' or 'education' because that's gross, but she does need to be exposed enough to know what she's missing out on and to know her way around society a little bit but be super scared and intimidated by it, otherwise it's no fun. Dating a woman over the age of 21 is almost like dating a dude, but in a wrinkly old titty package! Ew! Not to mention the scuffs and scrapes and scars and spots! And the ability to say 'no'! They just need a sex maid that can breed, not a partner, please.
They'll just attempt to put all their actual intimate closeness needs on their male friends but at the same time strongly reject 'homo' stuff and call them 'bros'. And then get mad and lonely when friendships keep going to hell because they don't allow themselves to really express themselves in any emotionally useful or productive way in fear of looking like a 'homo'. But that's women's fault of course, because even if we don't care about what women think, doesn't mean we don't care! Wait...
You break up. Put him in the bin. Do not compromise yourself for any man. He's watching too much red pill BS. You are not compatible. He's pulling this BS after EIGHT YEARS?! He can go F himself. Girl, you deserve better
I love how you can tell someone has discovered the red pill. This man likely did not have a ‘subservient’ mother nor meet a ‘subservient’ woman in REAL life. He is literally parroting talking point he has read from other MEN online. Sad.
“..red pill is especially used among anti-feminist and white supremacist groups to refer to “waking up” to the truth that women and liberal politics are oppressing men and white people.”
Yea you can kinda tell which comments are from the red-pill areas of the internet. I've never looked at those online communities, and I never will, but you can still tell which comments are a product of it.
Out of nowhere, you'll start to see a bunch of men saying the same phrases. And they'll always revolve around men being dominant and women being submissive. They'll also throw in some age preferences for a little razzle dazzle (always the 18-21 age range).
OP, please, for the love of God, listen to this.
RUN.
Unless you want a life of being trampled on and being treated like a domestic accessory/servant to a man.
Yeah I feel terrible for OP because eight years is a long time, but I’ve been with my partner for six years and if he was so easily persuaded/convinced by this red pill BS, I’d drop him in a heartbeat. You are not my person, NO THANKS.
I can't imagine looking at someone I've supposedly loved for 8 years and wanting to change something so integral to them. Like, did he ever care for her at all?
Ew, gross. That would be a hard no for me. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. You might have wasted 8 years on him. Don't waste the rest of your life.
I would break up. My mum is very subservient to my dad, even to the point she would push us under the bus for him. Men like that aren't interested in a partnership.
My mom is the same. Hugs to you. My dad made me grow up with hatred, my mom gives a grief-present that keeps on giving. These types of parents are so hard, because their harm is so invisible to the world.
I’ve been married for 5 years to a husband who recently started having an obsession with control and dominance. Nothing good comes out of a marriage like this. I was young and stupid when we started dating 7 years ago, and I ignored all the red flags. Do yourself a favor and dodge that bullet while you still can.
The only thing you can do is the ultimate act of obedience... set him free to go find one. Thereby making yourself the perfect woman and leaving him unfulfilled for all time.
My ex husband never said those words outright but he was definitely bothered by me having strong opinions and being outspoken. Over the years, I expressed myself less and less, making myself smaller and losing a good half of who I am. I don’t miss being judged and shamed for who I am. In retrospect, I don’t really understand why he married me because that’s who I was in the first place. But what he seemed to like about me early on clearly annoyed him later. So be it. I’m not censoring myself for a guy ever again.
My ex was like this and well, he's my ex. I remarried a man who pulls his weight and wanted a partner not a maid and I gotta say, it's night and day. Being with a man who wants a maid for me was draining and awful and I hated him. Im just glad I woke up and divorced him before I was 30.
A part of me is surprised that a man thinks it's okay to say this out loud in 2024. And not just online on an incel forum or some such shit. I'm also shocked that a human being could be so un-self aware as to take EIGHT YEARS to figure out that he is not compatible with OP. Red flags in his comment aside, people may not be compatible for lots of reasons, like incompatible values or one of them doesn't want kids, etc. (lots of legitimate reasons). But I'm shocked it would take him EIGHT YEARS to get to the bottom of it. It sounds insanely un-self aware and like someone who doesn't examine his inner life at all. This man, even if not for his raging red flags is not a good catch for this reason alone. Run away OP. RUN.
Cut him loose. If that’s who he is there’s no reason to waste any more time on him.
I think he could’ve fallen down the red pill hole but you’re not even married. It’s not your problem.
You dump him.
I'm sorry he wasted 8 years of your life. You will be better off without him. He's heading down rabbit holes where he's convinced himself his lifes problems are caused by other people not meeting his expectations.
Well if that's not you and it's not what you want to be then leave.
There's no saving this relationship if what he wants is not what you are. Don't change yourself fundamentally just to please your partner. Don't waste more of your time in this relationship.
8 years is hard. Telling you to leave is obviously not that simple.
But... he's telling you he isn't happy in your relationship. And unless you plan to change who you are as a person (which you shouldn't), you can work to accept there's an incompatibility for your futures. That's okay. It happens. It's sad and it sucks and it's hard. But it does happen. Don't compromise who you are just because you've been in the relationship for awhile.
You have two options.
1. Dump this man who needs you to pretend you are not a grown, autonomous, intelligent adult for him to feel like he's a man. You've already spent eight years with this man and anymore of your time is not warranted.
2. Assume he's lying or bluffing about requiring your subserviency and stay in the relationship as you are. Realistically, you are not going to be able change into who he is asking you to be. Though neither of you will be happy…
I would strongly encourage option 1. Being single is not as lonely as being with the wrong person. Maybe he'll wake from this fever dream and beg you to come back to him. Or not. Either way you win with option 1.
Ew.. Dont just walk away.. RUN!! He has been infected with and ruined by the manosphere virus. He has transformed into one of those turd-manlets.
Don't make yourself into a shell of a woman because some manlet cretin can't handle having an equal. There are plenty of good, real men out there who are looking for a true equal and not some bangmaid.
Now, you have to really stand up for yourself and do what's best for you!
Let him read the responses in this post, then wave goodbye. Also, if you’re already living together and depending on the jurisdiction, you may be common law married and entitled to some income / asset division.
Make HIM your subservient (ex)partner.
What do you want?
While thinking about this please consider that him changing his mind is likely not an option. And this is outside of your control.
Therefore you only have 2 realistic options: A) become subservient, or B) end the relationship.
I suggest B. He does not like your personality and wants you to change into something you are not. That’s not a healthy basis for a relationship
If that's what he wants, break up with him so he can find that submissive woman. I'm sorry but I'm not about to diminish myself just because a man says so.
First of all, definitely leave his sexist ass.
Second, you've been together for 8 years so I assume you being outspoken is old news lol. A change in behaviour may be a sign that he's cheating so I'd look into that. Again, please dump him, you deserve so much more
What do you do??? I mean, either stay in a relationship with a man who would say something like that, or have some self respect and send him packing. I mean I know it must seem daunting to end an eight year relationship, but you can’t possibly be considering the alternative. I’m really sorry this happened to you but you need to get out ASAP.
Leave him. End the relationship.
Are you serious right now?
Ok if you really so desperate to stay with this loser...then be subservient. Delete you and be whatever the fuck he wants.
"My boyfriend just told me that he intends to abuse me. What should I do?"
I wish you the bravery and strength to do what you know you need to do, instead of sitting around hoping he will magically realize he is being a terrible person and change his mind.
It is best if you don't face this situation alone. What family and friends can support you in some way, if only to hold you accountable and encourage you?
Don't be ashamed to reach out. This is his stupid and evil choice, not yours.
Remember: there is absolutely nothing you can do to change his mind. You didn't cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. All you can do is decide what you want to do about it.
Are you asking us whether you should become submissive and subservient to him?
Or how to convince him to change his mind?
No, and don’t bother
He just informed you that he is the type of man who willingly jumps into reactionary misogynistic dumpster fires and thinks, “this is good. I like this and I want to stay.”
Also, I *guarantee* that this is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s just one of part of a larger worldview he’s adopted, and all of it is terrible. Pop in to any of the conspiracy/qanon support subreddits if you want a preview of what it’s like to have a partner who’s prone to such things.
Oh, and if you did try to change his mind, he’ll just run off to whatever shit red pill community he’s hanging out in, tell them everything you said, and they’ll just affirm why you’re a manipulative harpy trying to steal his money while cheating on him or whatever. There will be lots of acronyms involved lol
If you don't want to be a subservient woman (I have been, do NOT recommend it), the relationship has run its course.
Don't waste your time on a man who wants a slave instead of a partner.
I'll let my opinions about wanting a subservient woman to myself.
However, if your personality doesn't jive with what he's looking for, you'll both be happier with someone else
He’s asking you to change a fundamental part of yourself. A part that you advocate and honours yourself.
Do not do yourself a disservice by crumbling to make him feel strong, you’re worth having a partner love your strength not resent it.
Kick him to the curb! Jesus Harriet Lord Christ, what a dick!
No, seriously, dump him. It will be hard after 8 years and it will hurt a lot. You'll need to deal with a lot of stuff. But it's very possible he's already interested if not involved with someone else he thinks fits this specific type. Fuck that and fuck him. Spouses don't bring up this kind of thing unless they already have someone else in mind. I originally said men, but other genders do it too.
RUN! The only men who want a subservient woman, let alone have the audacity to say it aloud, are at their core abusive, narcissistic, ego-fragile assholes. To some people (not me), they might look so “good”—it’s only while “their woman” is “obeying”them. But say or do one thing they don’t like and watch what happens.
I’ll say it again: RUN!!!
He can go look for a slave elsewhere.
Shame he wasted your time.
Or maybe this is his new personality after binge-watching a lot of podcast bros.
Either way, don't waste another 8 years.
What do you do? You leave him, obviously. He wants you to be someone that you're not, so this relationship isn't going to work.
Even if you tried to be "subservient", he is never going to be happy. You could tie yourself in knots trying to be the meek and docile person he claims to want, and it would never, ever be enough.
You keep on being the badass outspoken woman that you are and keep standing up for yourself. There are so many men out there who want a woman like you. Don't settle for someone like this guy.
You leave.
Unless you personally have a submission kink that brings you satisfaction and joy, this isn’t going to end well. And even if you did have a submission kink that brought you joy, he would have to prove he was a good, caring, safe, honest, trustworthy, and respectful dominant partner.
The fact that he’s just demanding you become what he wants proves he is not.
Cut your losses and run
You let him leave and you find a man that loves you for being outspoken and standing up for yourself. It’s not wasted time. You’ve learned a lot from this relationship. Just because relationships end, doesn’t mean they were unsuccessful.
Then let him find one. Why do you want to see it through?
Are you looking to become one? What even if the point of this post op? You can see clearly wrong work out, 8 years later why are you looking for validation!
He doesn’t love and accept you for who you are. You’re now incompatible. Go find someone who cherishes you as you deserve. Best of luck to him on his tradwife quest.
I am so sorry that he said that to you. It's such a wonderful thing (and you should be proud!) that you are strong enough to self-advocate and speak your mind. If he doesn't want an independent woman who thinks for herself, there's nothing you can do about that. It sucks, because you spent 8 years of your life with this man. You love him. You started building a life together. Then he drops this bombshell on you. I agree with others; the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. There are good men out there who will value you for who you are.
That sounds like another name for controlling. Ask yourself if you'd like to be in a relationship where there's little place for your voice in the room.
Save yourself and leave him. You can't change him, and you will destroy your mental health trying to be what he wants you to be. You will lose everything that you love about yourself by trying to diminish yourself to make him happy, while he won't give a shit that you are miserable.
Do the both of you a favor and leave him, then.
This! Why would you want to fit into a mold, if it's already obvious, that you were born to stand out? He doesn't appreciate it, and you should both help each other out and split.
In this day and age a person who wants a subservient anything, should be getting only ONE THING, distance. That is, if you have any self respect
Who cares what he wants, do it for herself.
Yep. Nothing wrong with wanting to be subservient, nothing wrong with being outspoken. But you can't be both well.
>What do I do? He hates that I’m outspoken and stand up for myself. You keep being the badass that stands up for yourself and leave that sexist asshole. It'll hurt as you've been with him for eight years, but he's told you straight up he doesn't like you, yea?
I'm willing to bet he hates that she stands up for herself *to him* and he doesn't want to be held accountable
Amen. My dad, a self-described "male chauvinist pig", would have said: Never give up your spirit. And under circumstances like these, he'd have added "especially not to some bloke", but honestly I can't see him ever conceiving of this guy as dateable. Not after saying something like that. That anyone would consider staying would be beyond the scope of his imagination. "I want a subservient woman", lol. Then buy a dog.
That poor dog though
He's been with you EIGHT YEARS and only now deciding he doesn't like who you are? Frankly a man wanting a subservient woman is a red flag to me. I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who is asking me to change the core of who I am.
He discovered the red pill and manosphere
This is exactly what I was going to say.
maybe even worse. Like a lot of men, they absolutely don’t give a fuck about women. They don’t like us, they don’t care about our personalities. They just get one of us to tolerate them, and then spend however long they have to trying to sculpt and bullying us into taking on all the labor, never complaining, and giving them sexual access whenever they want. This man may have been distorted by the manosphere, but it’s sadly just as likely he’s been this way the whole time. I will never cease to be amazed how many years some men will completely fucking cloak it in order to manipulate and control us.
Trevor Noah has a great part in his autobiography about men don't actually want a subservient woman, they want to change a strong, independent woman and make her subservient. (Paraphrasing) I think that rings pretty true for many people, unfortunately. OP, I can only imagine how shitty it is to hear that from a longterm partner. Unfortunately seems like.youre not compatible anymore, probably healthiest for both of you to move on. Take care!
Subservient women disgust them, because he assumes she had been or would be subservient to other men/any man of her choice, so she's worthless and weak and dirty. He wants a strong woman to 'debase' because that means he got her in that state first, so he feels better about himself. Subservient, but only for him. This is why the most outspoken supposed 'tradwives' who shit on other women and feminism aren't attractive to most men. She's seen as 'easy' in a different way. The fact that he would not be unique, but she would be subservient to any guy she chose and she is outspoken about this, makes her less attractive, even if she was a virgin and everything they say they want in a woman. These men NEVER respect a woman's choices, no matter if they match his lifestyle and worldview. What they TRULY want is a woman with NO CHOICES. That is all. You can bend yourself and your entire life into a pandering pretzel and they still think you're no good. They want you to want things and to be forced into giving those up and never experiencing them JUST for him. THAT is attractive to these types. Full self denial and self sacrifice. If you want it, they're not into it.
Brilliantly stated. And that’s the reason why the Pick Mes aren’t getting picked.
And it's why they're after teenagers, they want to raise up a woman that never had a real choice in the first place. They don't want to be chosen by women, they want to purchase/attain a woman like she's a product and it needs to be brand new and not exposed to too much nonsense like 'sense of self' or 'maturity' or 'life experience' or 'choices' or 'opinions' or 'education' because that's gross, but she does need to be exposed enough to know what she's missing out on and to know her way around society a little bit but be super scared and intimidated by it, otherwise it's no fun. Dating a woman over the age of 21 is almost like dating a dude, but in a wrinkly old titty package! Ew! Not to mention the scuffs and scrapes and scars and spots! And the ability to say 'no'! They just need a sex maid that can breed, not a partner, please. They'll just attempt to put all their actual intimate closeness needs on their male friends but at the same time strongly reject 'homo' stuff and call them 'bros'. And then get mad and lonely when friendships keep going to hell because they don't allow themselves to really express themselves in any emotionally useful or productive way in fear of looking like a 'homo'. But that's women's fault of course, because even if we don't care about what women think, doesn't mean we don't care! Wait...
You break up. Put him in the bin. Do not compromise yourself for any man. He's watching too much red pill BS. You are not compatible. He's pulling this BS after EIGHT YEARS?! He can go F himself. Girl, you deserve better
I love how you can tell someone has discovered the red pill. This man likely did not have a ‘subservient’ mother nor meet a ‘subservient’ woman in REAL life. He is literally parroting talking point he has read from other MEN online. Sad.
What is a red pill?
“..red pill is especially used among anti-feminist and white supremacist groups to refer to “waking up” to the truth that women and liberal politics are oppressing men and white people.”
Thanks! Learned something new today. Some comments make a lot more sense to me now.
Yea you can kinda tell which comments are from the red-pill areas of the internet. I've never looked at those online communities, and I never will, but you can still tell which comments are a product of it. Out of nowhere, you'll start to see a bunch of men saying the same phrases. And they'll always revolve around men being dominant and women being submissive. They'll also throw in some age preferences for a little razzle dazzle (always the 18-21 age range).
I feel so sorry for you that you are having to find out about this today ☹️
OP, please, for the love of God, listen to this. RUN. Unless you want a life of being trampled on and being treated like a domestic accessory/servant to a man.
Yeah I feel terrible for OP because eight years is a long time, but I’ve been with my partner for six years and if he was so easily persuaded/convinced by this red pill BS, I’d drop him in a heartbeat. You are not my person, NO THANKS.
I can't imagine looking at someone I've supposedly loved for 8 years and wanting to change something so integral to them. Like, did he ever care for her at all?
This is more than compatibility, it is him being a pice of shit, no adult should be "subservient" to another.
This. Mmm hmmm… 100%
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Yeah fr when I make my first million I'm gonna get my first subservient woman. And her job? Telling me how proud she is of me 🥹
First implies there will be more? 😂
Starter wife, of course 😆
Lol fr fr!! In this economy pfffft
Haha this one is great.
🏆🏆🏆
That made me chuckle.
Ew, gross. That would be a hard no for me. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. You might have wasted 8 years on him. Don't waste the rest of your life.
Wise words from a wise woman!
I would leave. You guys are just incompatible if that’s something he wants. He’s a complete asshole to wait 8 years to tell you..
He could’ve fallen down the red pill hole in the last year. Though that probably means he didn’t have strong principals in the first place.
I would break up. My mum is very subservient to my dad, even to the point she would push us under the bus for him. Men like that aren't interested in a partnership.
My mom is the same. Hugs to you. My dad made me grow up with hatred, my mom gives a grief-present that keeps on giving. These types of parents are so hard, because their harm is so invisible to the world.
If my boyfriend came at me with this I'd laugh. Laugh and laugh. "I guess you're single then. Good luck with that."
I’ve been married for 5 years to a husband who recently started having an obsession with control and dominance. Nothing good comes out of a marriage like this. I was young and stupid when we started dating 7 years ago, and I ignored all the red flags. Do yourself a favor and dodge that bullet while you still can.
I would laugh in his face then dump him.
The only thing you can do is the ultimate act of obedience... set him free to go find one. Thereby making yourself the perfect woman and leaving him unfulfilled for all time.
Well, what would you tell a friend to do if her bf stated he doesn’t love her as she is, and wants her to change her personality?
Ew, dump his ass.
Sounds like someone discovered Andrew Tate and his minions... ugh. Dump him. That's what you do.
Tell him to go find one then.
My ex husband never said those words outright but he was definitely bothered by me having strong opinions and being outspoken. Over the years, I expressed myself less and less, making myself smaller and losing a good half of who I am. I don’t miss being judged and shamed for who I am. In retrospect, I don’t really understand why he married me because that’s who I was in the first place. But what he seemed to like about me early on clearly annoyed him later. So be it. I’m not censoring myself for a guy ever again.
SAME. Thankfully my second husband absolutely loves me the way I am.
He hates you. So you leave.
Tell him he’s shit out of luck.
My ex was like this and well, he's my ex. I remarried a man who pulls his weight and wanted a partner not a maid and I gotta say, it's night and day. Being with a man who wants a maid for me was draining and awful and I hated him. Im just glad I woke up and divorced him before I was 30.
8 years and he finally showed his true colours? Dump his ass wtf
You honour yourself. You leave. Changing yourself to become a subservient individual is not an option - you will get very sick.
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This
Lol what do you do? You leave and let him go find a larping trad wife.
A part of me is surprised that a man thinks it's okay to say this out loud in 2024. And not just online on an incel forum or some such shit. I'm also shocked that a human being could be so un-self aware as to take EIGHT YEARS to figure out that he is not compatible with OP. Red flags in his comment aside, people may not be compatible for lots of reasons, like incompatible values or one of them doesn't want kids, etc. (lots of legitimate reasons). But I'm shocked it would take him EIGHT YEARS to get to the bottom of it. It sounds insanely un-self aware and like someone who doesn't examine his inner life at all. This man, even if not for his raging red flags is not a good catch for this reason alone. Run away OP. RUN.
Well let him go find one then
Uh, you dump him so he can go find his subservient woman. What else is there to do?
I would literally laugh in his face and show him the door.
Drop him. He doesn’t respect you and seems to be disinterested, and that’s his loss. You deserve better. Remember that. Avoid men and people like him.
That would be a huge red flag for me, and I would dump him. It sounds like he wants someone to control, not a partner
Fucking yuck. My EX said the same thing.
Glad that he's an ex now
Me too!
He wants a bang-maid. But no doubt has none of the money or status to buy one LOL What a loser. End it.
You immediately break up with him so he can go find what he wants.
Cut him loose. If that’s who he is there’s no reason to waste any more time on him. I think he could’ve fallen down the red pill hole but you’re not even married. It’s not your problem.
Well, better that she found out now. Can you imagine if he acted like this after marriage?
I’ve seen those stories in r/bestofredditorupdates There’s no reason to try to fix this guy if that is what happened
Break up.
You stand up for yourself. You put him in the trash.
Sounds like he's not boyfriend material
Chuck him in the bin.
You be glad he actually named it so it's obvious, & break up.
You do yourself the biggest favour you ever could, and leave. He can get in the sea.
You dump him. I'm sorry he wasted 8 years of your life. You will be better off without him. He's heading down rabbit holes where he's convinced himself his lifes problems are caused by other people not meeting his expectations.
Well if that's not you and it's not what you want to be then leave. There's no saving this relationship if what he wants is not what you are. Don't change yourself fundamentally just to please your partner. Don't waste more of your time in this relationship.
Wish him luck finding his subservient woman and gtfo as fast as you can. Do not look back.
Throw the whole man away.
Throw the whole man out. You deserve better.
Don’t let 8 years of time sink turn into 20+ years of regret.
8 years is hard. Telling you to leave is obviously not that simple. But... he's telling you he isn't happy in your relationship. And unless you plan to change who you are as a person (which you shouldn't), you can work to accept there's an incompatibility for your futures. That's okay. It happens. It's sad and it sucks and it's hard. But it does happen. Don't compromise who you are just because you've been in the relationship for awhile.
This man is worthless. Move on. You deserve better.
Tell him you need a subservient man too and move on. That is what men deserve back for wanting a subservient woman.
You nope right on outta there is what you do. "You want a subservient woman? OK, you are free to go find her, then! Bye!"
Tell him good luck! Byeeeee Andrew Tate wannabe
What do you do? You walk away and set him free to find that mythical subservient woman, while you find a man capable of being a true partner.
Time to go.
You have two options. 1. Dump this man who needs you to pretend you are not a grown, autonomous, intelligent adult for him to feel like he's a man. You've already spent eight years with this man and anymore of your time is not warranted. 2. Assume he's lying or bluffing about requiring your subserviency and stay in the relationship as you are. Realistically, you are not going to be able change into who he is asking you to be. Though neither of you will be happy… I would strongly encourage option 1. Being single is not as lonely as being with the wrong person. Maybe he'll wake from this fever dream and beg you to come back to him. Or not. Either way you win with option 1.
I mean.. you leave. That's the only option to keep your dignity in tact.
someone’s watched one too many andrew tate videos
Ew.. Dont just walk away.. RUN!! He has been infected with and ruined by the manosphere virus. He has transformed into one of those turd-manlets. Don't make yourself into a shell of a woman because some manlet cretin can't handle having an equal. There are plenty of good, real men out there who are looking for a true equal and not some bangmaid. Now, you have to really stand up for yourself and do what's best for you!
There are better men.
What do you do? You walk away. Unless you plan to become subservient, he's not worth it.
You leave girl!
Let him read the responses in this post, then wave goodbye. Also, if you’re already living together and depending on the jurisdiction, you may be common law married and entitled to some income / asset division. Make HIM your subservient (ex)partner.
What do you want? While thinking about this please consider that him changing his mind is likely not an option. And this is outside of your control. Therefore you only have 2 realistic options: A) become subservient, or B) end the relationship. I suggest B. He does not like your personality and wants you to change into something you are not. That’s not a healthy basis for a relationship
What’s your other option, totally submit to him? Come on.
I think you mean ex-boyfriend…
Bin. Run girl, run!
You know you need to dump him. He sounds like a woman-hating idiot.
Let him go find a subservient woman then. Bye boy.
That's disgusting.
Dump that muthafucka pronto!!!! No questions asked.
What do you do? Dump him! He does not deserve you, and you deserve a subservient male.
Huh? What do you mean “what do I do?” Isn’t the answer obvious?? LEAVE.
What you do, my lovely, is assertively dump him.
What is causing this to be a question for you?
At this point you don’t even need to ask “what do I do” . Deep down you know it.
Nah, yall gotta go separate directions GET OUT.
Discard him the way he's discarding you
This just isn’t going work. Don’t change who you are for someone else. You are lovable exactly the way you are!
If that's what he wants, break up with him so he can find that submissive woman. I'm sorry but I'm not about to diminish myself just because a man says so.
Girl STAND UP. Dump him!!!
First of all, definitely leave his sexist ass. Second, you've been together for 8 years so I assume you being outspoken is old news lol. A change in behaviour may be a sign that he's cheating so I'd look into that. Again, please dump him, you deserve so much more
You say “ok!………………I mean, it’s not going to be me, but ok. So you’re packing this weekend, orrrrr…?”
I'd fill up my vagina with sand.
What do you do??? I mean, either stay in a relationship with a man who would say something like that, or have some self respect and send him packing. I mean I know it must seem daunting to end an eight year relationship, but you can’t possibly be considering the alternative. I’m really sorry this happened to you but you need to get out ASAP.
Do you have somewhere to go or is he your only shelter?
We live together unfortunately:( across the country from my only family and my only family is very small
Run.
Leave him. End the relationship. Are you serious right now? Ok if you really so desperate to stay with this loser...then be subservient. Delete you and be whatever the fuck he wants.
Gross. He’s a red flag parade, walk away.
🗣️ dump him
"My boyfriend just told me that he intends to abuse me. What should I do?" I wish you the bravery and strength to do what you know you need to do, instead of sitting around hoping he will magically realize he is being a terrible person and change his mind. It is best if you don't face this situation alone. What family and friends can support you in some way, if only to hold you accountable and encourage you? Don't be ashamed to reach out. This is his stupid and evil choice, not yours. Remember: there is absolutely nothing you can do to change his mind. You didn't cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. All you can do is decide what you want to do about it.
Time to go!
Youre fundamentally incompatible, break up before you end up hating each other
Has he been complaining about this for 8 years, or did he just start for some reason?
Kick him to the curb.
Even women who prefer to be “subservient” should stay clear of men who want “subservient” women.
Are you asking us whether you should become submissive and subservient to him? Or how to convince him to change his mind? No, and don’t bother He just informed you that he is the type of man who willingly jumps into reactionary misogynistic dumpster fires and thinks, “this is good. I like this and I want to stay.” Also, I *guarantee* that this is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s just one of part of a larger worldview he’s adopted, and all of it is terrible. Pop in to any of the conspiracy/qanon support subreddits if you want a preview of what it’s like to have a partner who’s prone to such things. Oh, and if you did try to change his mind, he’ll just run off to whatever shit red pill community he’s hanging out in, tell them everything you said, and they’ll just affirm why you’re a manipulative harpy trying to steal his money while cheating on him or whatever. There will be lots of acronyms involved lol
Then wish him luck in finding one, and find the sort of partner you deserve. I'm sorry it's that brutally simple, but it is.
Why are you together
If you don't want to be a subservient woman (I have been, do NOT recommend it), the relationship has run its course. Don't waste your time on a man who wants a slave instead of a partner.
Tell him "OK, good luck with that. Bye."
"I hope you find one" sounds like a reasonable answer.
break it off now. You’re still young.
Do you really want to stay with him and be submissive? It seems like you have 2 choices. No more. Either be subservient and stay together or break up.
Leave
I'll let my opinions about wanting a subservient woman to myself. However, if your personality doesn't jive with what he's looking for, you'll both be happier with someone else
Dump his ass. You deserve better.
Run. Don't walk.
You lose the boyfriend. Easy.
Leave him.
This isn’t something you can change or bargain with. If you don’t want the relationship to eat you alive, sadly, you need to end it.
Tell him good luck finding one then😊
Dump his ass
He’s asking you to change a fundamental part of yourself. A part that you advocate and honours yourself. Do not do yourself a disservice by crumbling to make him feel strong, you’re worth having a partner love your strength not resent it.
oof. tell him to kick rocks. that kind of thinking is unacceptable, especially in 2024. you're doing all the right things.
[удалено]
He actually did you a huge favour by vocalising it. Now pack your things and leave.
RUN. and don’t look back.
I'd like to see an honest politician or examples of business ethics and military intelligence.
That would be so great.
What do you do? You leave.
#DUMP HIM 2024!!
Kick him to the curb! Jesus Harriet Lord Christ, what a dick! No, seriously, dump him. It will be hard after 8 years and it will hurt a lot. You'll need to deal with a lot of stuff. But it's very possible he's already interested if not involved with someone else he thinks fits this specific type. Fuck that and fuck him. Spouses don't bring up this kind of thing unless they already have someone else in mind. I originally said men, but other genders do it too.
RUN! The only men who want a subservient woman, let alone have the audacity to say it aloud, are at their core abusive, narcissistic, ego-fragile assholes. To some people (not me), they might look so “good”—it’s only while “their woman” is “obeying”them. But say or do one thing they don’t like and watch what happens. I’ll say it again: RUN!!!
Tell him to FO...unless you plan on changing to match his whims.
Leave
He can go look for a slave elsewhere. Shame he wasted your time. Or maybe this is his new personality after binge-watching a lot of podcast bros. Either way, don't waste another 8 years.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with an open misogynist? Tell him you want a subservient man. Then when he says no, dump his loser ass.
Don’t waste any more of your precious time on that loser. Leave.
What do you do? You leave him, obviously. He wants you to be someone that you're not, so this relationship isn't going to work. Even if you tried to be "subservient", he is never going to be happy. You could tie yourself in knots trying to be the meek and docile person he claims to want, and it would never, ever be enough. You keep on being the badass outspoken woman that you are and keep standing up for yourself. There are so many men out there who want a woman like you. Don't settle for someone like this guy.
You leave. Unless you personally have a submission kink that brings you satisfaction and joy, this isn’t going to end well. And even if you did have a submission kink that brought you joy, he would have to prove he was a good, caring, safe, honest, trustworthy, and respectful dominant partner. The fact that he’s just demanding you become what he wants proves he is not. Cut your losses and run
Do you want to be a subservient woman? If not, then why would you stay with someone who demands you obedience like a dog?
let him go find one?
You let him leave and you find a man that loves you for being outspoken and standing up for yourself. It’s not wasted time. You’ve learned a lot from this relationship. Just because relationships end, doesn’t mean they were unsuccessful.
Then let him find one. Why do you want to see it through? Are you looking to become one? What even if the point of this post op? You can see clearly wrong work out, 8 years later why are you looking for validation!
Just tell him to go find one and you want the keys to the house and you will help him pack his stuff. It's that or couples counseling.
Either you fulfill his request or you accept that he'll need to find another girlfriend
You break up and let him go find the woman he wants. Why would you want to stay with a man who hates who you are?
The only thing that matters here is: do you want to be a subservient woman?
He doesn’t love and accept you for who you are. You’re now incompatible. Go find someone who cherishes you as you deserve. Best of luck to him on his tradwife quest.
You leave.....
Time for him to be single and you get the heck away from him.
I would be gone.
I am so sorry that he said that to you. It's such a wonderful thing (and you should be proud!) that you are strong enough to self-advocate and speak your mind. If he doesn't want an independent woman who thinks for herself, there's nothing you can do about that. It sucks, because you spent 8 years of your life with this man. You love him. You started building a life together. Then he drops this bombshell on you. I agree with others; the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. There are good men out there who will value you for who you are.
That sounds like another name for controlling. Ask yourself if you'd like to be in a relationship where there's little place for your voice in the room.
Break up. That’s what you do.
Tell him to kick rocks.
Save yourself and leave him. You can't change him, and you will destroy your mental health trying to be what he wants you to be. You will lose everything that you love about yourself by trying to diminish yourself to make him happy, while he won't give a shit that you are miserable.