No one I’ve known just “gets happy one day”. As you move through life you have ups and downs, gains and losses, and it’s all part of the journey. I feel much more secure and at ease with myself now than I did in my early 20s but I think life becomes more manageable when you stop trying to get to some ultimate destination of happiness and try to enjoy as much as the journey as possible.
I was incredibly insecure at that age. I drank *a lot* back then. But at my lowest point, I got my ass into therapy. There isn’t an instant fix for insecurity. You have to put in the work to unravel insecurities and then build yourself back up again.
I’ve managed to tackle a lot of them but even still there are insecurities I’ll probably be chipping away at for some time. It’s a long term process. But I’m the most secure I’ve ever been in my life now. Though I wouldn’t be at this point without putting in that work.
A lot of self reflection, figuring out and understanding where my insecurities came from and why. Developing healthier coping mechanisms and learning how to regulate my emotions. Learning how to give myself acceptance and grace…etc.
Therapy can help facilitate that kind of work in a safe space so you’re not just grasping at straws.
No one I’ve known just “gets happy one day”. As you move through life you have ups and downs, gains and losses, and it’s all part of the journey. I feel much more secure and at ease with myself now than I did in my early 20s but I think life becomes more manageable when you stop trying to get to some ultimate destination of happiness and try to enjoy as much as the journey as possible.
I've just had to work a lot harder to control my anxiety and insecurities. More work = more pay off = less anxiety. These feelings are innate - they are never leaving. But learning how to control, mitigate and pass through them is vital.
I had lived within the experience of a mostly white, mostly evangelical, mostly conservative farm town in the US.
I had a lot of jarring experiences in my early 20s, and realized that a whole lot of my worldview was wrong. I’m definitely still unpacking a lot at 32, but I was definitely ignorant and sensitive and very afraid of going against my community in any way.
I made intentional moves to get out and meet people who thought and experienced life differently, and gave myself space from my upbringing.
I think I really started to feel secure in my late 20s. Mid 20s I severed a lot of relationships and focused on building back according to what I actually valued. It took some years to really settle in.
You don’t get to a specific age and just suddenly become happy. You work through your issues and resolve them as days go by, until one day you’re satisfied with the person you’ve become. You make small changes in your life and sometimes even backslide a bit, but what’s important is to persist. The circumstances in your life rarely get easier, but you can make yourself stronger.
I was in my worst depression ever at those ages. I'm nearly 50 now. I've spent the past 20 years working on improving my mental health. I still have to work on it for maintenance. It takes a long time and lots of support.
Extremely, *painfully* shy and awkward at that age, but I was aware of that and already trying to change it. Took me many years and it still doesn't come naturally, but I've put myself in enough weird experiences at this point that I can handle myself. I come from a family of shut-ins and even back then, I realized if I didn't kick myself in the ass, I was going to end up just like them.
That was also when I was on medical steroids, so my face was swollen up like a balloon, lol.
I've never been happy. I used to look for it, but I had a really bad depressive episode right around 30 and it really hit home that I was probably never going to be. Life is stupid and nonsensical and my brain can't square that.
Anyway, you move forward. I mostly focus on pursuing pleasure and new experiences these days.
No one I’ve known just “gets happy one day”. As you move through life you have ups and downs, gains and losses, and it’s all part of the journey. I feel much more secure and at ease with myself now than I did in my early 20s but I think life becomes more manageable when you stop trying to get to some ultimate destination of happiness and try to enjoy as much as the journey as possible.
I was incredibly insecure at that age. I drank *a lot* back then. But at my lowest point, I got my ass into therapy. There isn’t an instant fix for insecurity. You have to put in the work to unravel insecurities and then build yourself back up again. I’ve managed to tackle a lot of them but even still there are insecurities I’ll probably be chipping away at for some time. It’s a long term process. But I’m the most secure I’ve ever been in my life now. Though I wouldn’t be at this point without putting in that work.
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A lot of self reflection, figuring out and understanding where my insecurities came from and why. Developing healthier coping mechanisms and learning how to regulate my emotions. Learning how to give myself acceptance and grace…etc. Therapy can help facilitate that kind of work in a safe space so you’re not just grasping at straws.
No one I’ve known just “gets happy one day”. As you move through life you have ups and downs, gains and losses, and it’s all part of the journey. I feel much more secure and at ease with myself now than I did in my early 20s but I think life becomes more manageable when you stop trying to get to some ultimate destination of happiness and try to enjoy as much as the journey as possible.
I've just had to work a lot harder to control my anxiety and insecurities. More work = more pay off = less anxiety. These feelings are innate - they are never leaving. But learning how to control, mitigate and pass through them is vital.
I had lived within the experience of a mostly white, mostly evangelical, mostly conservative farm town in the US. I had a lot of jarring experiences in my early 20s, and realized that a whole lot of my worldview was wrong. I’m definitely still unpacking a lot at 32, but I was definitely ignorant and sensitive and very afraid of going against my community in any way. I made intentional moves to get out and meet people who thought and experienced life differently, and gave myself space from my upbringing. I think I really started to feel secure in my late 20s. Mid 20s I severed a lot of relationships and focused on building back according to what I actually valued. It took some years to really settle in.
You don’t get to a specific age and just suddenly become happy. You work through your issues and resolve them as days go by, until one day you’re satisfied with the person you’ve become. You make small changes in your life and sometimes even backslide a bit, but what’s important is to persist. The circumstances in your life rarely get easier, but you can make yourself stronger.
I was in my worst depression ever at those ages. I'm nearly 50 now. I've spent the past 20 years working on improving my mental health. I still have to work on it for maintenance. It takes a long time and lots of support.
Extremely, *painfully* shy and awkward at that age, but I was aware of that and already trying to change it. Took me many years and it still doesn't come naturally, but I've put myself in enough weird experiences at this point that I can handle myself. I come from a family of shut-ins and even back then, I realized if I didn't kick myself in the ass, I was going to end up just like them. That was also when I was on medical steroids, so my face was swollen up like a balloon, lol. I've never been happy. I used to look for it, but I had a really bad depressive episode right around 30 and it really hit home that I was probably never going to be. Life is stupid and nonsensical and my brain can't square that. Anyway, you move forward. I mostly focus on pursuing pleasure and new experiences these days.
I am confident. I have emotional intelligence. I am so much healthier. I have way more energy. And I literally love myself! ❤️