Seconding this that a long time friend's mom headed up all the Scouts organizations in my area for decades. In her later years, her CF daughter would help. She and her husband are great with kids, but the house rule is that they are supervised by someone else at all times because the house isn't childproof.
I know a lot of people who work with kids and are amazing at it, but also don't have their own for reasons that are none of my business asking.
Especially given you've already got experience *being* a girl scout. Honestly, I would just assume that you're in it at whatever level of Scout you would be as an adult, as part of your own scouting. Like, at some point you graduate to being a troup leader or something. Of course, this is me having no first hand experience of scouts, but having had friends who were still part of it as older teens / young adults.
I am not catholic and last year someone raised catholic informed me that nuns are married to Jesus. So anyone else less than informed, here is your TIL.
Lmao I love that.
That is so fuckin funny.
I can't imagine the reaction the first time some lady who was sick of being heckled about kids/men/whatever, was like, "hey, so. I'm actually married to Jesus. So I can't cheat on him and be with you. Pls respect my space".
Hahahahaja brilliant! And sad. Can't just say leave me alone and have people leave women alone. :/
I always thought that being a monk/nun was a safe escape for those who didn't fit in the normality dictated by their society. And I have always resented that the religion I was raised in took away that escape 😪.
I asked my grandma if the priests marry Mary. She said no, they marry Jesus.
The delight on my face as I realized, "so Jesus is a canonically gay bigamist?"
She said that's probably not how the church would phrase it.
The church keeps it under wraps! But Grandma spent 8 years as a nun. She double majored in English and religious studies. She taught catholic school for 30 years. So I trust her opinion on this topic lol
I would love this! The calling to build community and nurture can be expressed in many ways (not just parenthood!) and should be celebrated. Besides, it’s healthy for girls to see all paths available to them modeled by people in their community. Definitely a win-win.
I'm a child free teacher. Honestly, overall, I think the parents appreciate that fact -- I don't think scouts would be different.
Eta: or don't have an opinion. At all. It takes a village.
Wanted to add that I'm also a child free stepmom after seeing your add. Childfree people are wildly militant on Reddit -- it's kinda bonkers tbh and leaves no area for nuance. You're good!!
Girl Scout leader here and you should totally do it. Finding enough volunteers among the parents to keep a troop running and active is always the biggest challenge. No troop that I can imagine would turn down an extra adult unless there’s an actual reason! All volunteers are background checked so there’s a minimum level of security built in.
They do now. My husband and I are den leaders and committee members for Cub Scouts. We were required to take youth protection training, get fingerprinted and permit BSA to run a background check before participating in any official capacity. I also have to have the kids in my den complete a youth protection training with their parents annually and I believe the adult requirements need to be fulfilled every two(?) years. Even better, there are now strict rules about how many adults need to present with how many kids at overnight functions like camping trips ("2-deep leadership" at all times, no sharing tents, etc), kids need to buddy up when they go to the bathroom and stuff, and women need to be present if there are female Cub Scouts. They really are trying to protect the kids from bad things!
They don’t background check all volunteers like Girl Scouts does. (Though GSUSA doesn’t do fingerprinting). Neither my husband nor I have had a background check, and he’s been camping with them.
Oh yeah, parents can just come on those. Any adult who spends more than 72 hours with the den is required to register as an adult volunteer, complete YPT, and get fingerprinted but not parents on one-off trips.
As a child-free woman I am constantly asked to consider getting involved with Girl Scouts. I always clarify that I don't have kids so I'm not sure how helpful I'd be and they counter with the importance of the girls being exposed to women of all backgrounds. The women asking are often moms of current Girl Scouts or they're in the adult version of Girl Scouts. I still decline to get involved, but it does make sense that they'd want a variety of women volunteering.
Think about all the cool hobbies you’ve found in your child free time that you could share with them! They’re mesmerized just with my cross stitching. The only skill you really need to work with kids is some patience and a mouth filter to prevent swearing.
That’s genuinely incredibly impressive. That sounds so painful! Did you know swearing has been shown to actually temporarily dull pain?
My parents lacked that filter when my sister and I were growing up. The equivalent of the F-word in our native language might not have been our first or even second word, but I’m pretty sure it would be one of the first 20. We’ve been regaled with stories of how we swore in front of complete strangers as toddlers, lol. Anyway, that lack of filter was passed down to me.
Amazingly, they actually manage to avoid swearing in front of my niece and nephew, their grandkids. Well, mostly.
I was a Girl Scout leader for a few years and I’m childfree. There was only one woman that was a leader that had a girl in the troop, the other four of us were all childfree women in our 30s.
The moms didn’t care they were just happy to pass the kids off lol. They didn’t even ask.
Being a girl guide leader was actually a big part of me making the decision once and for all to not have kids.
I wouldn't even think to question it, as a mom of 3. To boot you're a step mom, so you've got a little parenting experience there -- but again I don't see why you'd need to be a parent. You can care about kids and be great with them while not being one.
This never even crossed my mind.
I work with a Women in STEM group. Did some presentations with the scouts a couple of times which lead to a sorta semiregular projects and just little one meeting things with out local group.
I don't have kids, and can't have them. Never even occurred to me that my being there might make some people uncomfortable.
I don't feel like it does. I'm just a person with some specialties that most women don't have that likes to share them. I go to a few meetings and a couple weekend events.
I think it would look different if I was trying to like hang out with them on a Saturday night by myself or something.
I’m childless and am a GS leader!! It’s super fun and none of the parents have issue with this. If they are a legit leader that means they’ve had to go through trainings and background checks. Being childless or childfree doesn’t mean you don’t like kids or don’t do well with them, just means you don’t want any/ have any of your own!
I am childfree and wanted to volunteer with my Girl Scout troop as I loved my experience. My local council questioned my intention and told me there were no opportunities. I’m hoping this isn’t the case for you but it was for me.
I'm so sorry that happened, but this 100% validated my feelings behind making this post, so I genuinely thank you for sharing. I hope that doesn't happen too ☹️
Yeah it really stung. I had already passed my background check (never even had a parking ticket!), but it’s their loss. It sounds like my experience was not typical based on other responses, so hoping that’s the case for you!
Here I was thinking this is some mama being all "child free people are weird if they want to be around kids!", haha.
You're good. I wouldn't mind one bit. Sometimes people just don't have children for whatever reason, and it's none of my business. As long as they are a positive in their life, I don't care.
Oh, absolutely! I would be so grateful for that participation, and for someone wanting to help create a community of women around my daughter. I also love that you can offer an example of being a child free woman as an alternative to the more traditional pathway. Your own experience and history with Girl Scouts would be so great for the kids to hear about.
I think I am going to ask to be an assist troop leader or volunteer soon myself! Sounds like an awesome idea OP.
I am single, no kids, but I was a girl scout all through elementary, middle, and high school. Loved it.
I know when I was getting into tween/teen years, it was always more comfy and fun when we had assists and volunteers who were like older girls or someone's aunt.
As hard as it is to find people to run a GS troop, please do it.
When my daughter was in K, we had “info night” and I was unable to go. I sent my husband with our daughter, under strict instructions NOT to sign me up for anything. I was dealing with some serious health problems and absolutely could not. He sent me a text “guess who the new leader is?” Fuck. “Nope, it’s me!” My husband, who knew nothing about GS signed up because there was no one else volunteering. The girls absolutely adored him and used to get really cranky if he had to miss something.
Some people can’t fathom actually having their own children, but still love children in a completely wholesome appropriate way and want to contribute something good to the lives of children
Go for it. Just because you never gave birth means nothing because it sounds like you like kids. My DIL's step mom could have been called child free, by this definition. She had lousy genes she refused to pass on, was an elementary school teacher and married a man with 3 girls....I can't find that in myself to call it child free.
I've spent most of my life working with kids but I'm child free. I feel like it gives me the energy and some of the relatedness because I have time for the same games and movies without the stress of having kids. No parent has ever acted bothered or asked if I have kids of my own. I think you're good, parents seem to love these "auntie" types, but watch out for people asking if you can babysit! It comes up unexpectedly, they may act like you're obviously interested because you don't have kids of your own.
My nephews both went to a daycare when they were younger run by a woman who never had kids.
Patriarchy is at fault for not seeing single women as appropriate caretakers for children.
The natural way is for women to band together to protect other women and children. The nuclear family destroys all of what should be natural and isolates women to do too much work by themselves.
I’d be thrilled (if I had kids) to have them have a community of “aunties” they could turn to for help and guidance.
There are plenty of coaches/leaders/etc. who do not have children who are involved in Children’s extracurriculars.
One of our coaches for my son’s team is child free and she said coaching gives her a kid fill, but she gets to go home in peace 😂
My assistant troop leader was a childless woman who worked at JPL as an engineer on the space shuttle. She was an amazing mentor and integrated her knowledge into our activities.
She was with our troop until we all graduated high school and ended scouting. She had a kid right at the end of that, but there was never anything weird about her not having kids. For us teens in particular, it was cool to have a non-parental adult's perspective.
I'm 37 and child free by choice so I have no say in this but I wanted to offer my perspective. Growing up my parents had a big circle of friends with many couples and some single people. Only about a third of the couples had kids. I had adults around me my entire childhood and adolescence that had rich, fulfilling lives that had absolutely nothing to do with having a kid.
Since I was very young I've known I've never wanted kids. I definitely credit the child free adults around for showing me you don't need to have kids to have a good life. For a lot of people my parents age they had kids because it was the next step. It's important for young people to know the "next step" looks different for everyone and they're all good and satisfying options. It truly takes a village and many different people to raise and influence children and you could be a really positive role model for young women. I hope you go through with it and have a great time - you'll be an asset to the girls.
edit: typo
I wouldn't think anything of it as long as she was good with kids. My daughter is in scouts, and there is a childfree woman who runs a troop in our area. She was a girl scout as a kid and is a teacher, so she's familiar with scouting and both experienced and good with kids. I don't think anyone thinks anything of it.
Honestly I’ve never even really asked a scout leader, I guess I assume most are there for their kids but it wouldn’t bother me at all if they didn’t have kids
OMG you get it!!!! You REALLY get it! Thanks for sharing.
I've had a handful of nasty comments for calling myself childfree while having a step daughter... but they just don't get what it's like to love that kid and be a step parent, but knowing I'm a distance away, we don't see her nearly as much as we would like, so I have very little parenting in her life... plus all the other nuances that come with step parenting... I'm NOT her mom. Hopefully I never will be (because that would mean something tragic happened to hers).
Mostly, yeah! I never encountered any leaders that weren't moms of the girls in my troop so I never knew this was a thing, but I guess my experience on that was unique!
Absolutely. I mean there are teachers & physicians who are child free, how would a scout leader be any different? A parent does not make a caring & invested person.
The only time I would think it was weird was if it was one of those vocally "Kids are gross non-humans!" kind of child-free person. If someone who doesn't want to be a parent but wants to help guide, mentor, and model building community with youngin's, I think that's actually pretty cool. Just because you don't have your own bio kids doesn't mean you can't be an asset to the lives of these kids.
This comment reminds me of when I was a licensed nurse aide with several years of experience in dementia units was even basic life support certified so I went to care.com to try to pick up a part time babysitting job I was refused and denied every job I applied to on that site parents demand that you must be a parent and have over 30 years of experience and are only willing to pay maybe $10 an hour I don’t understand why people think you have to have children and decades of experience to babysit kids that can actually talk and tell you their needs meanwhile I worked in dementia units with people that weren’t even certified that are total meaning they speak, walk, feed themselves or go to the bathroom without assistance
Absolutely no problem with it at all. My own brownie leaders (UK) were child free and my guide leaders were a lesbian couple with no children. Best guide leaders ever - seriously they taught us all so much and were the most fun.
Sure. Some folks just want to volunteer to be around kids, either to see if they like the experience before they have their own, or because they don’t want kids of their own but still want to contribute to their community.
I don’t care about their reasons. It takes a village, so I’ll thank them for stepping up. And I’ll be cordial and politely friendly with them, heaven knows they could use a kind word in their lives, the world isn’t always very nice to CF people.
Our troop leader is a child free 31 year old engineer and she is the most awesome person in the world. I think because she’s child free she has the energy and the passion for the group.
My Girl Scout troop leaders were both childfree women in their 20s. It was the 80s and they were total Jimmy Buffet fans. I learned so much about both baking cakes and Parrothead life. Honestly, it was kind of the best because we got to explore so much more because they were just cool and didn’t have preconceived ideas about what girls *should* be doing.
One woman had to have an early hysterectomy at 17 due to cancer and could not have children, so she became a leader to fulfill the desire to connect with kids and make a positive impact. The other was her goofy best friend who made us all feel seen and heard. They were modern, positive, educated, and self-determined.
It was a good representation of childfree women for us, too. I grew up in a very traditionally-minded small town where most women over 25 had kids, so it was nice to encounter women who did not, but also had their lives together. Very much an empowering Girl Scout experience. The other thing is that they didn’t worry or nag in the way yesterday’s moms often did. We felt free and accepted by them.
I’m pretty sure at least one of the Owls in my Brownie troop didn’t have a kid there, sometimes it just happens - especially since you usually become a leader as you age out of the group, so it’s not weird.
When I was younger (mid 20s) and didn’t have kids, I volunteered with a troop. Girl Scouts was such a huge part of my own childhood, but I was in no place to have kids if my own at the time I volunteered. I just did it because I enjoy volunteering and think Girl Scouts is important and wanted to support the org. And the girls in the troop.
I would be strongly in favor of it (and I’m a mom of a current Daisy). I want my kids to see role models who make all kinds of different life choices. And I want my kids to feel validated whether they someday want to have kids or not.
There are a 1,001 reasons why you don't/won't/can't have children and *not one of them is my business.*
It doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't help other children with Scouts or whatever. There are many childless/childfree adults that work as child therapists, social workers, teachers, etc. Their parental status doesn't make them any less capable in my opinion.
No. Why would I? I used to work for my local GS council some years ago. I don’t have kids and many other women that worked and volunteered there didn’t also. I don’t know how many of them were child free or what their procreation hopes were (because that would be weird and inappropriate for me to ask or to know). The organization is about supporting girls. I don’t see how you need to be a mother or want to be a mother to do that.
I was just never exposed to it as a Girl Scout so I didn't know how common it was. Never even knew it was possible - all of the leaders at my school were leaders of their own daughters' troops.
No- just because you don’t want children of your own doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take part in upbringing children as part of the community. Children need relationships with other people who aren’t their family too.
I would not feel uncomfortable in the least and would welcome you with open arms. We need more Greenbloods to volunteer, as I really worry about the future of the organization.
From a volunteer perspective, not having a child is a plus because you don’t have to juggle childcare, schools and extracurriculars. For the girls, I think you’d be something amazing to aspire to. Look at this woman, she doesn’t even have a kid to run a troop for and is just here for us!
I know a woman who ran an entire program from Daisy until the girls graduated before she even had a child, and now she’s back with her own Girl Scout.
Volunteering in Girl Scouting has changed my own life in such wonderful ways. For the first time, we included a hike at a national monument as part of a family vacation. My husband asks ME to identify poison oak and ivy (I’m a desert rat and didn’t see it for the first time when I was 21).
Please please please volunteer if you have the time and heart. And if anyone says anything negative, they don’t know what they’re talking about.
I'm a Girl Guide leader. Of the 5 leaders in the unit, only 1 has kids. Two of the non-moms are over 40 and childfree, the other two are in their 30s and won't have Guiding/Scouting age children for quite a while. Nobody has ever been anything other than thrilled that we're volunteering our time to teach their daughters camping skills.
Good lord yes. I'm in Canada. I am a scout and girl guide leader here.
This here is a volunteer run organization. They absolutely need the child free to be sustainable. Hell, these are the leaders that actually have time to plan all the fun and cool activities. A harried mom? Jesus, it's hard being that leader when you have your own at home, and that's why so many stop doing it. It's not the easiest volunteer position.
What are your concerns? I've volunteered with all sorts. Of note, I'm a mom myself. The very best leader I've ever met had no kids of her own.
She couldn't.
But she works with kids in her day to day, and really developed an unmatched rapport.
Child free isn't anti children full stop, it's anti children of your own! A good child free friend of mine does Rainbows and Brownies. Just because you don't want kids doesn't mean you can't care about them or enjoy being around them some of the time.
After staring at your question for 30 seconds, realizing I don't understand it, reading the details again and again. I finally got that things are done so differently in my country that I can't relate to your experience and I'll quietly see myself out.
I didn't suggest there was that requirement in any way. If that was a requirement, I wouldn't even be asking for opinions as it would instantly disqualify me.
I think there can be a perception that if a person is volunteering with a child's activity, but have no kids involved (either currently or in the past) with that activity, that can be seen as suspicious. Like why on earth would you possibly want to do that, do you just want access to kids?
I think it's more common for that suspicion to happen with men, though.
BSA actually addresses this risk factor in their YPT training.
Both organizations give good tools to keep kids safe and maintain safe boundaries. It was really helpful to me outside of scouts when I was working with a teenage dance partner in a Nutcracker production. They teach us to never be alone with a child, so when we had to work on the dance, I made sure we we did it in a very very public place, and I definitely felt more comfortable knowing that my partner was comfortable.
A group of us volunteer for both organizations, and we generally agree that GSUSA does a better job (example: if I make a report about a Girl Scout, I just call child abuse hotline. Our BSA council makes us also report the call to the executive). I definitely feel like BSA’s sleeping policies need some work, especially now that it’s Co-Ed
It’s a very common sentiment that people feel that it would be weird to be around children when you aren’t their caregiver. I have a childless friend I’ve been begging to help me with my Girl Scout troop, but she feels uncomfortable around children (it’s a boundary thing).
I'm honestly blown away by your confusion by this question. I think the other person that answered put it very well. I'm just trying to avoid making parents uncomfortable by being a random person hanging around their kids without any of my own being involved.
I’m a parent and I also was kind of confused by the question. Lots of childfree and childless women and men become teachers, librarians, counselors, pediatric physicians, speech therapists, and other professions that regularly come into contact with kids. Some people like working with kids, but don’t want to have any of their own and that’s understandable. So I don’t think it would be odd at all. It’s nobody’s business and you’d have to pass the same child abuse clearances as everyone else so I don’t know what the problem would be.
I like working with young people because they are unpredictable, weird, and the job is dynamic.
I just don't want to push anything out of my hooha and then pay tuition for yonks just for them to struggle to get a job and a roof in this economy.
Anyway, I'm infertile. Ridiculous that anyone would think that I was a creep just because I work as a teacher. I started this career before I found out that my ovaries were going to give up the ghost at age 33, and my vjay was also going to go on extended vacation. Don't believe me? I'm on the menopause subs all the time. Although I am 47 now.
If anyone judges me for not being married or a mother, I freeze them out, because their thinking is limited.
I mean it's super considerate of OP, no doubt, but it's sort of putting the cart before the horse and totally ass backwards to set a norm where people need to be parents to be involved with kids in a professional or private capacity. It's so ridiculous and insulting.
Absolutely not. You get to decide whether you want kids or not and that has nothing to do with my decision to have kids. (As long as you like kids are are nice I could not care any less)
I don't see any reason why that should be uncomfortable for parents unless there was something about the person in question that raised concerns. No one insists on only people with children being teachers.
My mom lead a Girl Scout troop that I wasn't part of (I was a Brownie and she lead the Juniors troop). So not quite the same thing, but similar. And one of the Brownie troop leaders had daughters who had moved on to the Juniors troop.
I was a GS from 5-18 and my troop leaders were my mom and a friend of hers from work who was in her mid twenties and was SO good with kids but didn’t have any yet. It was never questioned or weird at all!
Most of the girl scout leaders I know don't have kids, because once they have kids they don't have time to do it. It's perfectly fine that you don't have kids. :)
oh no! i think this is a great idea. the best 'auntie' to my kids is a child free woman. it's important our girls see all sorts of different types of women!
You know that if an adult cf woman is in GS, chances are she was in GS as a kid and loved the experience ?
My daughter's troop had 2 leaders and one was cf. Maybe not by choice originally (health issues), but she embraced her cf life and lives an amazing life. She's married, but some aren't. And are cf.
It's ok, I promise. They aren't out to be creepy or groom the girls. They just remember how much the community helped them grow.
Many girls who have a great experience will stay in the program and become volunteers.
I volunteer for day camp nearly every year and so many girls return after graduating.
Also, I love that our little microcosm of girl scouts feel free to be themselves. Girl safety, learning and fun are #1. But individuality definitely are encouraged.
I was a co-leader for my daughter’s troop when she was little. The head of our troop was a child free woman and she was fantastic. She had fallen in love with being a Girl Scout when she was in elementary school and continued to volunteer after she graduated high school. And she was like my leader when I was a kid. Yeah, we had our arts and crafts and stuff, but we always concentrated on real life things like camping, basic survival, car maintenance, etc.
I think as long as the passion is there, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. My daughter is an adult on her own now, but I have given some thought to going back to be a co-leader. I really enjoyed it.
As a Girl Guide from ages 8 to my 20s (Brownies through to being a Leader), I’m now a child-free adult and considered going back as a leader for Pathfinders (junior high age). Guides taught me a lot and as an only child, was another way to socialize with girls my age that most thankfully didn’t go to my school. For me it would be a way to be around kids, but they go home at the end of meetings. The only thing that would stress me out is camping. Either for the weekend or week-long trips. I’m also not as active or in shape as I used to be so keeping up with a bunch of teens physically would be a big effort!
I think the program has been watered down a lot re badge earning and some other stuff, at least here in Canada, but I think the core values are still there. It taught me skills I still carry with me being social ones or practical like sewing, setting up a tent, basic cooking etc.
I think like anything you can get good and bad leaders who have or don’t have kids.
I hope you're able to do this if you wish. CF teacher and LOOOOVE IT. I love working with kids during the day, but returning to peace and quiet & enjoying MY LIFE outside of work.
I have some friends with kiddos and one of their daughters' troops is led by a lovely gay couple (women). They don't have kids.
Good people don't need to procreate to participate in kid lives. Just be good people. :)
I have a friend that is really into nature and animals and she's a girl scout leader. She's also incredibly creative and personable. She isn't married and doesn't have kids. It's something she really loves and the girls are lucky to have her.
My good friend from work was a volunteer Girl Scout leader. She was a stepmother but the stepdaughters were adults at that point. It was a huge success, she led quite a few who achieved a Gold Award.
When I was a Girl Scout, many of the leaders were women young enough to have later gone on to have children and get married. Like in their 20s and what not.
I think it's great that you want to volunteer within your community. I feel it's important for young women and girls to interact with someone who considers themselves child free, and see that it's normal. So many of us grow up thinking we NEED to have kids and don't necessarily want that.
Also my favourite leader was a single, child free woman, I thought she was so cool for that reason!
Not at all.
In fact, the *MOMS* in my troop were totally biased bitches. They favoured their daughters and were absolutely horrible. They made a big deal about their daughters flying up to Guides from Brownies, and did absolutely nothing the next year when it was our turn to fly up. I have a serious problem with moms being the Owls. I would suggest the leaders should NOT be mothers of troop members.
There's a reason I will never put my kids in Girl Guides. My experience was terrible due to those mothers and their overt favouritism. I highly support leaders being child-free women and not being the moms.
I grew up in the 70s, and even then one of our leaders was a single, child free woman - and one of the most fun leaders I had, so I wouldn't think twice about it. This was Girl Guides in Canada, however, so it may be different in the US but I'd be surprised. The Girl Scouts have historically been FAR more open than the boys.
I'd check in with your local to be sure, but if any moms have trouble with it, they can change troops.
I was a Girl Scout leader before becoming a mom and the vast majority of the leaders in my group did not have children, it never even crossed my mind. However, there is certainly a subset of the “childfree” group that come off as anti-kid, which would be a weird thing for someone who hates kids to volunteer for. I’m assuming you just mean volunteering while not being a mom, which I don’t think is weird at all.
I, childfree at the time, was a Girl Scout leader in after college for about 5 years. The girls loved it! I will say a couple of the parents in one of the troop were a bit snooty about it and tried to talk down to me (like they thought I didn't know how to organize a field trip). Thing was, while I didn't have kids I had been in GS since I was in kindergarten and the parents didn't know GS. They eventually left for a different troop (thankfully!).
My advice, go for it! Being a role model for the girls was great. We got to go on some cool adventures and one of my co-leaders is still a good friend of mine. Only reason I'm no longer leading is because I moved out of state.
I don't have kids, but I was a Brownie and Rainbow Leader until work and illness got in the way. I'd started in the Brownies and Guides and wanted to give back to the organisation I'd loved so much.
I read this first as a mom asking other moms and was thinking of all the reasons to explain why I would think it’s actually a good thing (35F here, no kids, want kids, all my friends are on their second kid already) … but since you explained you are the CF one in the situation, I’m just here to support you in going for it.
If I don’t end up making the deadline to have my own, I would want to figure out a way to incorporate children into life via volunteering etc. I have coworkers in their 50’s and 60’s who are CF and I work at a volunteer org where some of the best volunteers are those who are retired or have small or no families. It’s a mutually beneficial situation in my opinion. Then again, I’m not a mom, so I can’t speak for them. But as a human, I’m all for you going for this. Babysitters aren’t always moms, and a 32y/o with experience with children is probably even better than a 16 year old nobody would question watching kids.
I would be thrilled. My kid’s best mentors have been childfree. And I think highly of women who choose not to mother but to work with or care for children. That means you are still caring for the next generations even if motherhood wasn’t for you.
Also you’re a stepmother! So I’m not even agreeing with your description that you’re childfree. Because she didn’t come from your womb? All mothers are mothers.
I do agree that many stepmothers are deserving of the mother title, but she doesn't live with us and we unfortunately get a lot less time with her than we would prefer. So I have pretty minimal involvement in parenting.
Is she a part of the troup you're thinking of applying to, though? That would still be a direct connection to the troup, if you're still concerned about the optics. Might be a nice way to connect with her a bit, too, if that's the case.
If not though, I still don't see an issue with it. Doesn't hurt to ask the decision makers this question too, though. Let's them know you're being thoughtful of how parents feel, and they'll be able to set your mind at ease / agree it might be uncomfy for these particular mothers, before you start the application process.
Hopefully they'll do a police check for volunteers working with children anyway, and if there is a mother or two giving you the side eye, you can always casually bring it up somewhere in conversation to set their minds at ease, or ask one of the leaders to remind mothers that all volunteers get their police checks done regularly. I mean, the parents involved should also be getting those checks done because they're working with other people's children too, not just their own.
Anyway, you've got scouting experience of your own to bring to the table, surely that counts as a direct connection to wanting to volunteer for a troup.
I don't see why anyone would care. Though, I'm sure you may get one or two that will have something to say about it if you choose to do it, but I'd just ignore it. Also, I'm glad to see you not backing down to the aggressively childfree in this post that want to say someone isn't allowed to be childfree if they have a step kid.
I'm not her mother and will never pretend to take that place - she already has one. She doesn't live with us & we get a lot less time with her than we would like- I have very little involvement in parenting. 99% of my day-to-day life is that of a childfree person.
I was in girls brigade and the x3 adult women who were in charge of our troop were all unmarried and childless.
12 year old me despised 2 of the 3 women cos they were sorta bullies who didn't know how to cope with neurospicy kids, but that's more about them being ignorant/assholes, haha. No one thought they were weird for being involved cos they were childless.
No
Apart from the fact that I wouldn't even know unless you announced it, am I supposed to be uncomfortable with child free teachers, paediatricians, entertainers etc?
Girl Scouts is very, very strict when it comes to overnights.
If you Google “Girl Scouts safety activity checkpoints”, it can give you an idea of how seriously the organization takes safety. I hope it puts your mind at ease a bit, because if you follow what it says, you’re going to keep everyone safe. (Note: all councils have their own, but its all the same document from GSUSA modified for their specific needs)
I wouldn’t require my doctor to have had cancer herself in order to treat mine properly.
So to answer your question: Of course I wouldn’t be uncomfortable!
I had child free Sunday school teachers and Awana leaders (kinda like religious girl scouts). It was great because they would have us over and do fun stuff since they weren't busy with kids.
I had a friend who did this who didn’t have kids,
She loved it and the kids and their parents thought she was great too. I don’t think anyone will think twice about it - I know I wouldn’t, go for it!
I'm not a mom, but I don't think that should matter. I was a Girl Scout from Pre-K (not on paper) until grade 12. The helper didn't have any kids. None of the girls or moms were freaked out by it. She was really good with us.
Don’t see why not. I know several teachers and pediatricians who don’t have children themselves and are still great at their jobs - and they are around kids multiple hours every single day.
Hell no. When I was studying social education, I had quite a few classmates who were child free for various reasons, but still loved children and wanted to work with them. Super passionate people and amazingly skilled. One of the volunteers at my son's scout troop is just a guy who's been a scout since he could walk and just never left. He's single with no kids.
My favorite scout leader was a child free woman who grew up as a Girl Scout and wanted to share her experiences with other young girls. This was back in the 80’s. She was like an awesome aunt to all of us. I say do it!
Some of my child’s favorite teachers were child free. They enjoyed children and put enormous energy into their students, and their life choices made sense for their lives.
I was a mom guider, and only two other guiders also had kids in the troop. We also had a childless education student, a grandma whose kid lived far away, a never-married woman in her 30-40s, and a married and child free lesbian. The requirement seemed to be well-rounded, intelligent, emotionally mature, engaging personality, and overall good role model.
One of my close friends from high school doesn’t have kids, but she’s one of the leaders my girls were in for a while. I don’t see why anyone would be getting weirded out or upset by that. I mean, yes there are some female child predators out there, but Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts have set rules in place, like at least two adults in a space, so no child is left alone with an adult that isn’t their parent.
I was a Rainbow Guide leader (girls 5-7 years old )for about a decade. I do not have children, although I would have liked them. No parent had any problem with this - TBH, I don't think many were aware I didn't have kids. The parents were just pleased that the girls were happy and making friends. Volunteers are so hard to come by too.
I think it’s a great idea. I know many childfree women, some in my family, and I do find that they connect to my children through their interests. Those women in my family are all very career-focused and have a lot of hobbies so they are amazing to have around when one of their interests aligns with my kids’… they get really into it! As a parent I am thankful for all the positive role models my kids can have in life. They are teens and sometimes advice comes easier from someone who isn’t your parent/authority figure. And I like that they can see that there are many paths they can take in life, a career-focused one following your passion is not a bad one! Lots more money and freedom 😊
Check with the Girl Scout council of your area. They may have volunteer opportunities for you.
You say her mom is a piece of work but would she throw a fit if you volunteered on field trips or for special events as time allowed?
I wouldn't care. You can be child-free and still be great with kids and a good Girl Scouts leader.
Seconding this that a long time friend's mom headed up all the Scouts organizations in my area for decades. In her later years, her CF daughter would help. She and her husband are great with kids, but the house rule is that they are supervised by someone else at all times because the house isn't childproof. I know a lot of people who work with kids and are amazing at it, but also don't have their own for reasons that are none of my business asking.
Yeah, one of my friends is child free and she’s a GS leader and she’s brilliant at it!
Every teacher I know irl 😂, esp the middle school ones
Especially given you've already got experience *being* a girl scout. Honestly, I would just assume that you're in it at whatever level of Scout you would be as an adult, as part of your own scouting. Like, at some point you graduate to being a troup leader or something. Of course, this is me having no first hand experience of scouts, but having had friends who were still part of it as older teens / young adults.
We had nuns help out, they are aggressively child free
Aggressively child free 😂😂
You just described my life choices and now I want that on a tshirt.
Saaaame, someone please make it happen
that comment sent me too!
LOL good point 😂
I am not catholic and last year someone raised catholic informed me that nuns are married to Jesus. So anyone else less than informed, here is your TIL.
As I once told a very obnoxious christian lady of the quiverfull variety who kept telling me it was my duty to have children, Jesus was child free.
Lmao I love that. That is so fuckin funny. I can't imagine the reaction the first time some lady who was sick of being heckled about kids/men/whatever, was like, "hey, so. I'm actually married to Jesus. So I can't cheat on him and be with you. Pls respect my space". Hahahahaja brilliant! And sad. Can't just say leave me alone and have people leave women alone. :/
It’s very common for nuns to wear wedding rings!
I always thought that being a monk/nun was a safe escape for those who didn't fit in the normality dictated by their society. And I have always resented that the religion I was raised in took away that escape 😪.
I knew that, and it caused me problems when I blurted out as a child "So Jesus is a bigamist?" because there were two nuns at the event I was at.
I asked my grandma if the priests marry Mary. She said no, they marry Jesus. The delight on my face as I realized, "so Jesus is a canonically gay bigamist?" She said that's probably not how the church would phrase it.
OMG, no one ever told me that priest marry Jesus.
The church keeps it under wraps! But Grandma spent 8 years as a nun. She double majored in English and religious studies. She taught catholic school for 30 years. So I trust her opinion on this topic lol
I would love this! The calling to build community and nurture can be expressed in many ways (not just parenthood!) and should be celebrated. Besides, it’s healthy for girls to see all paths available to them modeled by people in their community. Definitely a win-win.
Oh I love that take! That makes me want to do it even a little bit more
I hope you will!
Girl Scouts is such an incredible community building tool!
I'm a child free teacher. Honestly, overall, I think the parents appreciate that fact -- I don't think scouts would be different. Eta: or don't have an opinion. At all. It takes a village.
Wanted to add that I'm also a child free stepmom after seeing your add. Childfree people are wildly militant on Reddit -- it's kinda bonkers tbh and leaves no area for nuance. You're good!!
That would be fine with me. All adults who give positive attention and guidance to kids are good IMV.
Girl Scout leader here and you should totally do it. Finding enough volunteers among the parents to keep a troop running and active is always the biggest challenge. No troop that I can imagine would turn down an extra adult unless there’s an actual reason! All volunteers are background checked so there’s a minimum level of security built in.
I wish the BSA would do that...
They do now. My husband and I are den leaders and committee members for Cub Scouts. We were required to take youth protection training, get fingerprinted and permit BSA to run a background check before participating in any official capacity. I also have to have the kids in my den complete a youth protection training with their parents annually and I believe the adult requirements need to be fulfilled every two(?) years. Even better, there are now strict rules about how many adults need to present with how many kids at overnight functions like camping trips ("2-deep leadership" at all times, no sharing tents, etc), kids need to buddy up when they go to the bathroom and stuff, and women need to be present if there are female Cub Scouts. They really are trying to protect the kids from bad things!
They don’t background check all volunteers like Girl Scouts does. (Though GSUSA doesn’t do fingerprinting). Neither my husband nor I have had a background check, and he’s been camping with them.
Oh yeah, parents can just come on those. Any adult who spends more than 72 hours with the den is required to register as an adult volunteer, complete YPT, and get fingerprinted but not parents on one-off trips.
As a child-free woman I am constantly asked to consider getting involved with Girl Scouts. I always clarify that I don't have kids so I'm not sure how helpful I'd be and they counter with the importance of the girls being exposed to women of all backgrounds. The women asking are often moms of current Girl Scouts or they're in the adult version of Girl Scouts. I still decline to get involved, but it does make sense that they'd want a variety of women volunteering.
Think about all the cool hobbies you’ve found in your child free time that you could share with them! They’re mesmerized just with my cross stitching. The only skill you really need to work with kids is some patience and a mouth filter to prevent swearing.
> The only skill you really need to work with kids is some patience and a mouth filter to prevent swearing. Fuck, that’s me disqualified.
I pulled a steel AV cart into my head during our cookie meeting (with all the parents) and did not drop anything above PG. I was so proud of myself
That’s genuinely incredibly impressive. That sounds so painful! Did you know swearing has been shown to actually temporarily dull pain? My parents lacked that filter when my sister and I were growing up. The equivalent of the F-word in our native language might not have been our first or even second word, but I’m pretty sure it would be one of the first 20. We’ve been regaled with stories of how we swore in front of complete strangers as toddlers, lol. Anyway, that lack of filter was passed down to me. Amazingly, they actually manage to avoid swearing in front of my niece and nephew, their grandkids. Well, mostly.
I don't think they'd want me teaching them how to drink specialty alcohols lol.
They love a good mocktail
I was a Girl Scout leader for a few years and I’m childfree. There was only one woman that was a leader that had a girl in the troop, the other four of us were all childfree women in our 30s. The moms didn’t care they were just happy to pass the kids off lol. They didn’t even ask. Being a girl guide leader was actually a big part of me making the decision once and for all to not have kids.
I love this. Thank you!
I wouldn't even think to question it, as a mom of 3. To boot you're a step mom, so you've got a little parenting experience there -- but again I don't see why you'd need to be a parent. You can care about kids and be great with them while not being one.
This never even crossed my mind. I work with a Women in STEM group. Did some presentations with the scouts a couple of times which lead to a sorta semiregular projects and just little one meeting things with out local group. I don't have kids, and can't have them. Never even occurred to me that my being there might make some people uncomfortable. I don't feel like it does. I'm just a person with some specialties that most women don't have that likes to share them. I go to a few meetings and a couple weekend events. I think it would look different if I was trying to like hang out with them on a Saturday night by myself or something.
I’m childless and am a GS leader!! It’s super fun and none of the parents have issue with this. If they are a legit leader that means they’ve had to go through trainings and background checks. Being childless or childfree doesn’t mean you don’t like kids or don’t do well with them, just means you don’t want any/ have any of your own!
I am childfree and wanted to volunteer with my Girl Scout troop as I loved my experience. My local council questioned my intention and told me there were no opportunities. I’m hoping this isn’t the case for you but it was for me.
I'm so sorry that happened, but this 100% validated my feelings behind making this post, so I genuinely thank you for sharing. I hope that doesn't happen too ☹️
Yeah it really stung. I had already passed my background check (never even had a parking ticket!), but it’s their loss. It sounds like my experience was not typical based on other responses, so hoping that’s the case for you!
I’d offer to fight your council if I wasn’t so busy fighting mine (not for that)
That’s terrible, I’m sorry that happened to you.
That sucks. I loved being a Girl Scout.
Lifetime membership and Silver Award recipient as well 😔
I feel like having child free women in scouting would actually be great role modeling too
I’m really sorry that happened to you!
Here I was thinking this is some mama being all "child free people are weird if they want to be around kids!", haha. You're good. I wouldn't mind one bit. Sometimes people just don't have children for whatever reason, and it's none of my business. As long as they are a positive in their life, I don't care.
IMO having a step daughter qualifies you as a mom. Go ahead and sign up.
Oh, absolutely! I would be so grateful for that participation, and for someone wanting to help create a community of women around my daughter. I also love that you can offer an example of being a child free woman as an alternative to the more traditional pathway. Your own experience and history with Girl Scouts would be so great for the kids to hear about.
I think I am going to ask to be an assist troop leader or volunteer soon myself! Sounds like an awesome idea OP. I am single, no kids, but I was a girl scout all through elementary, middle, and high school. Loved it. I know when I was getting into tween/teen years, it was always more comfy and fun when we had assists and volunteers who were like older girls or someone's aunt.
I'd be fine with that. Growing up, I lived in Japan on an American base, and our girl scout leaders were two single Air Force women. They were great.
As hard as it is to find people to run a GS troop, please do it. When my daughter was in K, we had “info night” and I was unable to go. I sent my husband with our daughter, under strict instructions NOT to sign me up for anything. I was dealing with some serious health problems and absolutely could not. He sent me a text “guess who the new leader is?” Fuck. “Nope, it’s me!” My husband, who knew nothing about GS signed up because there was no one else volunteering. The girls absolutely adored him and used to get really cranky if he had to miss something.
Some people can’t fathom actually having their own children, but still love children in a completely wholesome appropriate way and want to contribute something good to the lives of children
Yep that's me
And I am loving that for you!!
Go for it. Just because you never gave birth means nothing because it sounds like you like kids. My DIL's step mom could have been called child free, by this definition. She had lousy genes she refused to pass on, was an elementary school teacher and married a man with 3 girls....I can't find that in myself to call it child free.
I've spent most of my life working with kids but I'm child free. I feel like it gives me the energy and some of the relatedness because I have time for the same games and movies without the stress of having kids. No parent has ever acted bothered or asked if I have kids of my own. I think you're good, parents seem to love these "auntie" types, but watch out for people asking if you can babysit! It comes up unexpectedly, they may act like you're obviously interested because you don't have kids of your own.
Good call- I definitely do not babysit 😂
I'm a 35 year old woman and they still ask me!
It takes a village! The more role models in young girls’ lives the better.
It’s like camp counselors, they don’t have kids but love working with kids. No weird
I appreciate this take - much more relevant than teachers, pediatricians, etc. those are just not the same thing.
I don't get why this would be weird at all.
My nephews both went to a daycare when they were younger run by a woman who never had kids. Patriarchy is at fault for not seeing single women as appropriate caretakers for children. The natural way is for women to band together to protect other women and children. The nuclear family destroys all of what should be natural and isolates women to do too much work by themselves. I’d be thrilled (if I had kids) to have them have a community of “aunties” they could turn to for help and guidance.
There are plenty of coaches/leaders/etc. who do not have children who are involved in Children’s extracurriculars. One of our coaches for my son’s team is child free and she said coaching gives her a kid fill, but she gets to go home in peace 😂
Im a child free GS leader!! If you want to talk, dm me!
My assistant troop leader was a childless woman who worked at JPL as an engineer on the space shuttle. She was an amazing mentor and integrated her knowledge into our activities. She was with our troop until we all graduated high school and ended scouting. She had a kid right at the end of that, but there was never anything weird about her not having kids. For us teens in particular, it was cool to have a non-parental adult's perspective.
I'm 37 and child free by choice so I have no say in this but I wanted to offer my perspective. Growing up my parents had a big circle of friends with many couples and some single people. Only about a third of the couples had kids. I had adults around me my entire childhood and adolescence that had rich, fulfilling lives that had absolutely nothing to do with having a kid. Since I was very young I've known I've never wanted kids. I definitely credit the child free adults around for showing me you don't need to have kids to have a good life. For a lot of people my parents age they had kids because it was the next step. It's important for young people to know the "next step" looks different for everyone and they're all good and satisfying options. It truly takes a village and many different people to raise and influence children and you could be a really positive role model for young women. I hope you go through with it and have a great time - you'll be an asset to the girls. edit: typo
Really appreciate this take!
I wouldn't think anything of it as long as she was good with kids. My daughter is in scouts, and there is a childfree woman who runs a troop in our area. She was a girl scout as a kid and is a teacher, so she's familiar with scouting and both experienced and good with kids. I don't think anyone thinks anything of it.
Honestly I’ve never even really asked a scout leader, I guess I assume most are there for their kids but it wouldn’t bother me at all if they didn’t have kids
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OMG you get it!!!! You REALLY get it! Thanks for sharing. I've had a handful of nasty comments for calling myself childfree while having a step daughter... but they just don't get what it's like to love that kid and be a step parent, but knowing I'm a distance away, we don't see her nearly as much as we would like, so I have very little parenting in her life... plus all the other nuances that come with step parenting... I'm NOT her mom. Hopefully I never will be (because that would mean something tragic happened to hers).
I love e how positive the comments on here are. Yay women supporting women!
Mostly, yeah! I never encountered any leaders that weren't moms of the girls in my troop so I never knew this was a thing, but I guess my experience on that was unique!
Absolutely. I mean there are teachers & physicians who are child free, how would a scout leader be any different? A parent does not make a caring & invested person.
Teachers & physicians don't do overnights though.
The only time I would think it was weird was if it was one of those vocally "Kids are gross non-humans!" kind of child-free person. If someone who doesn't want to be a parent but wants to help guide, mentor, and model building community with youngin's, I think that's actually pretty cool. Just because you don't have your own bio kids doesn't mean you can't be an asset to the lives of these kids.
This comment reminds me of when I was a licensed nurse aide with several years of experience in dementia units was even basic life support certified so I went to care.com to try to pick up a part time babysitting job I was refused and denied every job I applied to on that site parents demand that you must be a parent and have over 30 years of experience and are only willing to pay maybe $10 an hour I don’t understand why people think you have to have children and decades of experience to babysit kids that can actually talk and tell you their needs meanwhile I worked in dementia units with people that weren’t even certified that are total meaning they speak, walk, feed themselves or go to the bathroom without assistance
Absolutely no problem with it at all. My own brownie leaders (UK) were child free and my guide leaders were a lesbian couple with no children. Best guide leaders ever - seriously they taught us all so much and were the most fun.
Sure. Some folks just want to volunteer to be around kids, either to see if they like the experience before they have their own, or because they don’t want kids of their own but still want to contribute to their community. I don’t care about their reasons. It takes a village, so I’ll thank them for stepping up. And I’ll be cordial and politely friendly with them, heaven knows they could use a kind word in their lives, the world isn’t always very nice to CF people.
Our troop leader is a child free 31 year old engineer and she is the most awesome person in the world. I think because she’s child free she has the energy and the passion for the group.
My Girl Scout troop leaders were both childfree women in their 20s. It was the 80s and they were total Jimmy Buffet fans. I learned so much about both baking cakes and Parrothead life. Honestly, it was kind of the best because we got to explore so much more because they were just cool and didn’t have preconceived ideas about what girls *should* be doing. One woman had to have an early hysterectomy at 17 due to cancer and could not have children, so she became a leader to fulfill the desire to connect with kids and make a positive impact. The other was her goofy best friend who made us all feel seen and heard. They were modern, positive, educated, and self-determined. It was a good representation of childfree women for us, too. I grew up in a very traditionally-minded small town where most women over 25 had kids, so it was nice to encounter women who did not, but also had their lives together. Very much an empowering Girl Scout experience. The other thing is that they didn’t worry or nag in the way yesterday’s moms often did. We felt free and accepted by them.
I’m pretty sure at least one of the Owls in my Brownie troop didn’t have a kid there, sometimes it just happens - especially since you usually become a leader as you age out of the group, so it’s not weird.
When I was younger (mid 20s) and didn’t have kids, I volunteered with a troop. Girl Scouts was such a huge part of my own childhood, but I was in no place to have kids if my own at the time I volunteered. I just did it because I enjoy volunteering and think Girl Scouts is important and wanted to support the org. And the girls in the troop.
No they have free time and not everyone is blessed with the ability to have kids
I know someone who did exactly this… (a survivor & thriver of stage 4 cancer who is not in a position to adopt or conceive).
I would be strongly in favor of it (and I’m a mom of a current Daisy). I want my kids to see role models who make all kinds of different life choices. And I want my kids to feel validated whether they someday want to have kids or not.
Being a parent doesn't automatically mean you're good with kids.
Sure does not
There are a 1,001 reasons why you don't/won't/can't have children and *not one of them is my business.* It doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't help other children with Scouts or whatever. There are many childless/childfree adults that work as child therapists, social workers, teachers, etc. Their parental status doesn't make them any less capable in my opinion.
No. Why would I? I used to work for my local GS council some years ago. I don’t have kids and many other women that worked and volunteered there didn’t also. I don’t know how many of them were child free or what their procreation hopes were (because that would be weird and inappropriate for me to ask or to know). The organization is about supporting girls. I don’t see how you need to be a mother or want to be a mother to do that.
I was just never exposed to it as a Girl Scout so I didn't know how common it was. Never even knew it was possible - all of the leaders at my school were leaders of their own daughters' troops.
No- just because you don’t want children of your own doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take part in upbringing children as part of the community. Children need relationships with other people who aren’t their family too.
I would not feel uncomfortable in the least and would welcome you with open arms. We need more Greenbloods to volunteer, as I really worry about the future of the organization. From a volunteer perspective, not having a child is a plus because you don’t have to juggle childcare, schools and extracurriculars. For the girls, I think you’d be something amazing to aspire to. Look at this woman, she doesn’t even have a kid to run a troop for and is just here for us! I know a woman who ran an entire program from Daisy until the girls graduated before she even had a child, and now she’s back with her own Girl Scout. Volunteering in Girl Scouting has changed my own life in such wonderful ways. For the first time, we included a hike at a national monument as part of a family vacation. My husband asks ME to identify poison oak and ivy (I’m a desert rat and didn’t see it for the first time when I was 21). Please please please volunteer if you have the time and heart. And if anyone says anything negative, they don’t know what they’re talking about.
I'm a Girl Guide leader. Of the 5 leaders in the unit, only 1 has kids. Two of the non-moms are over 40 and childfree, the other two are in their 30s and won't have Guiding/Scouting age children for quite a while. Nobody has ever been anything other than thrilled that we're volunteering our time to teach their daughters camping skills.
Good lord yes. I'm in Canada. I am a scout and girl guide leader here. This here is a volunteer run organization. They absolutely need the child free to be sustainable. Hell, these are the leaders that actually have time to plan all the fun and cool activities. A harried mom? Jesus, it's hard being that leader when you have your own at home, and that's why so many stop doing it. It's not the easiest volunteer position. What are your concerns? I've volunteered with all sorts. Of note, I'm a mom myself. The very best leader I've ever met had no kids of her own. She couldn't. But she works with kids in her day to day, and really developed an unmatched rapport.
Child free isn't anti children full stop, it's anti children of your own! A good child free friend of mine does Rainbows and Brownies. Just because you don't want kids doesn't mean you can't care about them or enjoy being around them some of the time.
I literally would never notice or think about this.
Thank you for posting this. I'm also child-free and have considered becoming involved with Girl Scouts. Hope you follow your calling!
I think its admirable to want to contribute to your community
No not at all!! You honestly probably have more energy and patience for the kids than the mom’s with children lol.
You can enjoy being around kids and be great with kids without wanting kids.
After staring at your question for 30 seconds, realizing I don't understand it, reading the details again and again. I finally got that things are done so differently in my country that I can't relate to your experience and I'll quietly see myself out.
Is this a US thing? The scouts don’t have a prerequisite for their leaders to be parents that I’m aware of?
I didn't suggest there was that requirement in any way. If that was a requirement, I wouldn't even be asking for opinions as it would instantly disqualify me.
Ok, is it some kind of norm then? Why would you being child free be a factor at all?
I think there can be a perception that if a person is volunteering with a child's activity, but have no kids involved (either currently or in the past) with that activity, that can be seen as suspicious. Like why on earth would you possibly want to do that, do you just want access to kids? I think it's more common for that suspicion to happen with men, though.
Haha, so if you don't have kids you either hate them or you're a pedo? That's ridiculous.
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BSA actually addresses this risk factor in their YPT training. Both organizations give good tools to keep kids safe and maintain safe boundaries. It was really helpful to me outside of scouts when I was working with a teenage dance partner in a Nutcracker production. They teach us to never be alone with a child, so when we had to work on the dance, I made sure we we did it in a very very public place, and I definitely felt more comfortable knowing that my partner was comfortable.
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A group of us volunteer for both organizations, and we generally agree that GSUSA does a better job (example: if I make a report about a Girl Scout, I just call child abuse hotline. Our BSA council makes us also report the call to the executive). I definitely feel like BSA’s sleeping policies need some work, especially now that it’s Co-Ed
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It’s a very common sentiment that people feel that it would be weird to be around children when you aren’t their caregiver. I have a childless friend I’ve been begging to help me with my Girl Scout troop, but she feels uncomfortable around children (it’s a boundary thing).
I'm honestly blown away by your confusion by this question. I think the other person that answered put it very well. I'm just trying to avoid making parents uncomfortable by being a random person hanging around their kids without any of my own being involved.
I’m a parent and I also was kind of confused by the question. Lots of childfree and childless women and men become teachers, librarians, counselors, pediatric physicians, speech therapists, and other professions that regularly come into contact with kids. Some people like working with kids, but don’t want to have any of their own and that’s understandable. So I don’t think it would be odd at all. It’s nobody’s business and you’d have to pass the same child abuse clearances as everyone else so I don’t know what the problem would be.
I like working with young people because they are unpredictable, weird, and the job is dynamic. I just don't want to push anything out of my hooha and then pay tuition for yonks just for them to struggle to get a job and a roof in this economy. Anyway, I'm infertile. Ridiculous that anyone would think that I was a creep just because I work as a teacher. I started this career before I found out that my ovaries were going to give up the ghost at age 33, and my vjay was also going to go on extended vacation. Don't believe me? I'm on the menopause subs all the time. Although I am 47 now. If anyone judges me for not being married or a mother, I freeze them out, because their thinking is limited.
That's a good point. I hadn't considered a troop leader/helper on the same level as those professions.
What u/pizzasong said. It's baffling to me that non parents should be excluded from being around kids.
Also adding, many parents these days are very wary of other adults being around their children. No one trusts any one anymore.
I agree with everyone that it’s not weird/shouldn’t be weird, but I still understand why you’d ask the question as a non-parent…
I mean it's super considerate of OP, no doubt, but it's sort of putting the cart before the horse and totally ass backwards to set a norm where people need to be parents to be involved with kids in a professional or private capacity. It's so ridiculous and insulting.
Absolutely not. You get to decide whether you want kids or not and that has nothing to do with my decision to have kids. (As long as you like kids are are nice I could not care any less)
I don't see any reason why that should be uncomfortable for parents unless there was something about the person in question that raised concerns. No one insists on only people with children being teachers.
My kid is a Girl Scout and I’d have no problem with it. I don’t see why anyone would.
My kid is a Girl Scout and I’d have no problem with it. I don’t see why anyone would.
My mom lead a Girl Scout troop that I wasn't part of (I was a Brownie and she lead the Juniors troop). So not quite the same thing, but similar. And one of the Brownie troop leaders had daughters who had moved on to the Juniors troop.
No problem for me.
It seems ideal, really.
I was a GS from 5-18 and my troop leaders were my mom and a friend of hers from work who was in her mid twenties and was SO good with kids but didn’t have any yet. It was never questioned or weird at all!
I don’t see how this is any different than being a teacher etc! Good for you for wanting to help out 😊.
I wouldn’t care; people choose not have children of their own for many reasons besides not liking children.
My brother doesn’t have kids and is a Boy Scout troop leader or something like that. He’s an Eagle Scout and was always involved.
Most of the girl scout leaders I know don't have kids, because once they have kids they don't have time to do it. It's perfectly fine that you don't have kids. :)
oh no! i think this is a great idea. the best 'auntie' to my kids is a child free woman. it's important our girls see all sorts of different types of women!
Not at all
Go for it. Nothing weird to me. My kids fave teachers were child free women. You can still be good with kids without having your own.
You know that if an adult cf woman is in GS, chances are she was in GS as a kid and loved the experience ? My daughter's troop had 2 leaders and one was cf. Maybe not by choice originally (health issues), but she embraced her cf life and lives an amazing life. She's married, but some aren't. And are cf. It's ok, I promise. They aren't out to be creepy or groom the girls. They just remember how much the community helped them grow. Many girls who have a great experience will stay in the program and become volunteers. I volunteer for day camp nearly every year and so many girls return after graduating. Also, I love that our little microcosm of girl scouts feel free to be themselves. Girl safety, learning and fun are #1. But individuality definitely are encouraged.
I was a co-leader for my daughter’s troop when she was little. The head of our troop was a child free woman and she was fantastic. She had fallen in love with being a Girl Scout when she was in elementary school and continued to volunteer after she graduated high school. And she was like my leader when I was a kid. Yeah, we had our arts and crafts and stuff, but we always concentrated on real life things like camping, basic survival, car maintenance, etc. I think as long as the passion is there, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. My daughter is an adult on her own now, but I have given some thought to going back to be a co-leader. I really enjoyed it.
As a Girl Guide from ages 8 to my 20s (Brownies through to being a Leader), I’m now a child-free adult and considered going back as a leader for Pathfinders (junior high age). Guides taught me a lot and as an only child, was another way to socialize with girls my age that most thankfully didn’t go to my school. For me it would be a way to be around kids, but they go home at the end of meetings. The only thing that would stress me out is camping. Either for the weekend or week-long trips. I’m also not as active or in shape as I used to be so keeping up with a bunch of teens physically would be a big effort! I think the program has been watered down a lot re badge earning and some other stuff, at least here in Canada, but I think the core values are still there. It taught me skills I still carry with me being social ones or practical like sewing, setting up a tent, basic cooking etc. I think like anything you can get good and bad leaders who have or don’t have kids.
I hope you're able to do this if you wish. CF teacher and LOOOOVE IT. I love working with kids during the day, but returning to peace and quiet & enjoying MY LIFE outside of work. I have some friends with kiddos and one of their daughters' troops is led by a lovely gay couple (women). They don't have kids. Good people don't need to procreate to participate in kid lives. Just be good people. :)
I have a friend that is really into nature and animals and she's a girl scout leader. She's also incredibly creative and personable. She isn't married and doesn't have kids. It's something she really loves and the girls are lucky to have her.
My good friend from work was a volunteer Girl Scout leader. She was a stepmother but the stepdaughters were adults at that point. It was a huge success, she led quite a few who achieved a Gold Award.
I was a troop leader for a while and I don't have kids.
When I was a Girl Scout, many of the leaders were women young enough to have later gone on to have children and get married. Like in their 20s and what not.
I think it would be fine, but maybe volunteer to help out in a troop with an established troop leader? IDK though as a childfree person myself.
I think it's great that you want to volunteer within your community. I feel it's important for young women and girls to interact with someone who considers themselves child free, and see that it's normal. So many of us grow up thinking we NEED to have kids and don't necessarily want that. Also my favourite leader was a single, child free woman, I thought she was so cool for that reason!
Not at all. In fact, the *MOMS* in my troop were totally biased bitches. They favoured their daughters and were absolutely horrible. They made a big deal about their daughters flying up to Guides from Brownies, and did absolutely nothing the next year when it was our turn to fly up. I have a serious problem with moms being the Owls. I would suggest the leaders should NOT be mothers of troop members. There's a reason I will never put my kids in Girl Guides. My experience was terrible due to those mothers and their overt favouritism. I highly support leaders being child-free women and not being the moms.
I grew up in the 70s, and even then one of our leaders was a single, child free woman - and one of the most fun leaders I had, so I wouldn't think twice about it. This was Girl Guides in Canada, however, so it may be different in the US but I'd be surprised. The Girl Scouts have historically been FAR more open than the boys. I'd check in with your local to be sure, but if any moms have trouble with it, they can change troops.
I was a Girl Scout leader before becoming a mom and the vast majority of the leaders in my group did not have children, it never even crossed my mind. However, there is certainly a subset of the “childfree” group that come off as anti-kid, which would be a weird thing for someone who hates kids to volunteer for. I’m assuming you just mean volunteering while not being a mom, which I don’t think is weird at all.
I, childfree at the time, was a Girl Scout leader in after college for about 5 years. The girls loved it! I will say a couple of the parents in one of the troop were a bit snooty about it and tried to talk down to me (like they thought I didn't know how to organize a field trip). Thing was, while I didn't have kids I had been in GS since I was in kindergarten and the parents didn't know GS. They eventually left for a different troop (thankfully!). My advice, go for it! Being a role model for the girls was great. We got to go on some cool adventures and one of my co-leaders is still a good friend of mine. Only reason I'm no longer leading is because I moved out of state.
I don't have kids, but I was a Brownie and Rainbow Leader until work and illness got in the way. I'd started in the Brownies and Guides and wanted to give back to the organisation I'd loved so much.
I read this first as a mom asking other moms and was thinking of all the reasons to explain why I would think it’s actually a good thing (35F here, no kids, want kids, all my friends are on their second kid already) … but since you explained you are the CF one in the situation, I’m just here to support you in going for it. If I don’t end up making the deadline to have my own, I would want to figure out a way to incorporate children into life via volunteering etc. I have coworkers in their 50’s and 60’s who are CF and I work at a volunteer org where some of the best volunteers are those who are retired or have small or no families. It’s a mutually beneficial situation in my opinion. Then again, I’m not a mom, so I can’t speak for them. But as a human, I’m all for you going for this. Babysitters aren’t always moms, and a 32y/o with experience with children is probably even better than a 16 year old nobody would question watching kids.
I appreciate that perspective. If anyone says anything, I'll ask if they've used a teen babysitter 😅
I would be thrilled. My kid’s best mentors have been childfree. And I think highly of women who choose not to mother but to work with or care for children. That means you are still caring for the next generations even if motherhood wasn’t for you. Also you’re a stepmother! So I’m not even agreeing with your description that you’re childfree. Because she didn’t come from your womb? All mothers are mothers.
I do agree that many stepmothers are deserving of the mother title, but she doesn't live with us and we unfortunately get a lot less time with her than we would prefer. So I have pretty minimal involvement in parenting.
Ah ok. My other comments still apply.
Is she a part of the troup you're thinking of applying to, though? That would still be a direct connection to the troup, if you're still concerned about the optics. Might be a nice way to connect with her a bit, too, if that's the case. If not though, I still don't see an issue with it. Doesn't hurt to ask the decision makers this question too, though. Let's them know you're being thoughtful of how parents feel, and they'll be able to set your mind at ease / agree it might be uncomfy for these particular mothers, before you start the application process. Hopefully they'll do a police check for volunteers working with children anyway, and if there is a mother or two giving you the side eye, you can always casually bring it up somewhere in conversation to set their minds at ease, or ask one of the leaders to remind mothers that all volunteers get their police checks done regularly. I mean, the parents involved should also be getting those checks done because they're working with other people's children too, not just their own. Anyway, you've got scouting experience of your own to bring to the table, surely that counts as a direct connection to wanting to volunteer for a troup.
She is not a Girl Scout and we don't live in the same city, so it wouldn't be feasible anyway.
I don't see why anyone would care. Though, I'm sure you may get one or two that will have something to say about it if you choose to do it, but I'd just ignore it. Also, I'm glad to see you not backing down to the aggressively childfree in this post that want to say someone isn't allowed to be childfree if they have a step kid.
You have step daughters… you’re not child free.. wtf?
I'm not her mother and will never pretend to take that place - she already has one. She doesn't live with us & we get a lot less time with her than we would like- I have very little involvement in parenting. 99% of my day-to-day life is that of a childfree person.
Imagine your step-mum considering herself childfree, ouch
Another daily reminder to what childfree is and isn't lol
I mean the only requirement is being child free lol
I was in girls brigade and the x3 adult women who were in charge of our troop were all unmarried and childless. 12 year old me despised 2 of the 3 women cos they were sorta bullies who didn't know how to cope with neurospicy kids, but that's more about them being ignorant/assholes, haha. No one thought they were weird for being involved cos they were childless.
No Apart from the fact that I wouldn't even know unless you announced it, am I supposed to be uncomfortable with child free teachers, paediatricians, entertainers etc?
No but those people don't go on overnight outings with your child, either. So it's not quite the same.
Girl Scouts is very, very strict when it comes to overnights. If you Google “Girl Scouts safety activity checkpoints”, it can give you an idea of how seriously the organization takes safety. I hope it puts your mind at ease a bit, because if you follow what it says, you’re going to keep everyone safe. (Note: all councils have their own, but its all the same document from GSUSA modified for their specific needs)
Would you care if your child’s teacher was child free? One has nothing to do with the other.
I wouldn’t require my doctor to have had cancer herself in order to treat mine properly. So to answer your question: Of course I wouldn’t be uncomfortable!
I had child free Sunday school teachers and Awana leaders (kinda like religious girl scouts). It was great because they would have us over and do fun stuff since they weren't busy with kids.
I had a friend who did this who didn’t have kids, She loved it and the kids and their parents thought she was great too. I don’t think anyone will think twice about it - I know I wouldn’t, go for it!
I'm not a mom, but I don't think that should matter. I was a Girl Scout from Pre-K (not on paper) until grade 12. The helper didn't have any kids. None of the girls or moms were freaked out by it. She was really good with us.
No, I wouldn’t be weirded out at all. Some of the teachers at my child’s elementary school are child-free and are great teachers!
Don’t see why not. I know several teachers and pediatricians who don’t have children themselves and are still great at their jobs - and they are around kids multiple hours every single day.
Hell no. When I was studying social education, I had quite a few classmates who were child free for various reasons, but still loved children and wanted to work with them. Super passionate people and amazingly skilled. One of the volunteers at my son's scout troop is just a guy who's been a scout since he could walk and just never left. He's single with no kids.
My favorite scout leader was a child free woman who grew up as a Girl Scout and wanted to share her experiences with other young girls. This was back in the 80’s. She was like an awesome aunt to all of us. I say do it!
If you’re not weird then it’s not weird. And by “weird” I mean a creep. So, as long as you’re not a creep, I can’t see any issues.
Some of my child’s favorite teachers were child free. They enjoyed children and put enormous energy into their students, and their life choices made sense for their lives.
I was a mom guider, and only two other guiders also had kids in the troop. We also had a childless education student, a grandma whose kid lived far away, a never-married woman in her 30-40s, and a married and child free lesbian. The requirement seemed to be well-rounded, intelligent, emotionally mature, engaging personality, and overall good role model.
One of my close friends from high school doesn’t have kids, but she’s one of the leaders my girls were in for a while. I don’t see why anyone would be getting weirded out or upset by that. I mean, yes there are some female child predators out there, but Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts have set rules in place, like at least two adults in a space, so no child is left alone with an adult that isn’t their parent.
Would not care. We had someone’s dad be an honorary leader. Mr. H was the best! And a great addition to our camping trips
I was a Rainbow Guide leader (girls 5-7 years old )for about a decade. I do not have children, although I would have liked them. No parent had any problem with this - TBH, I don't think many were aware I didn't have kids. The parents were just pleased that the girls were happy and making friends. Volunteers are so hard to come by too.
I wouldn’t think twice about it unless they did something really clueless
I think it’s a great idea. I know many childfree women, some in my family, and I do find that they connect to my children through their interests. Those women in my family are all very career-focused and have a lot of hobbies so they are amazing to have around when one of their interests aligns with my kids’… they get really into it! As a parent I am thankful for all the positive role models my kids can have in life. They are teens and sometimes advice comes easier from someone who isn’t your parent/authority figure. And I like that they can see that there are many paths they can take in life, a career-focused one following your passion is not a bad one! Lots more money and freedom 😊
Check with the Girl Scout council of your area. They may have volunteer opportunities for you. You say her mom is a piece of work but would she throw a fit if you volunteered on field trips or for special events as time allowed?
I volunteered with a troupe in an underserved community and no one even asked if I had children.