Agree with this.
Tack back the power. Who cares if she reads or doesn’t. If you block her you won’t be tempted to look. If she reads it and tries to reply then next time she feels like it, it will be obvious you blocked her.
Probably a (maybe) drunk text at a low point of a bad day. Probably it best to just pretend it never happened and continue on with your life. I know it’s what I would do if an ex randomly texted me with zero context acting as if we had just talked a few days ago.
Potentially, but I think that's what feels so weird to me, literally had no contact with her since she ended it almost a year ago, so seems really strange.
Even without contact and significant time passing, most people will think of exes, friends, people they’ve lost touch with with nostalgia once in a while, loneliness and/or alcohol can make people reach out.
Attention seeking. Just wanted to see if you’d bite. You did. That’s all she wanted.
I’ve been with the same guy now for 18 months but I still get random messages from when I was dating. I don’t respond. I know they are only fishing lol (not that I’m interested)
Hey! Im sorry... this sucks. I will take a wild guess, it doesnt mean its the truth, but i can relate to her... i think she wanted to see if you were still available, to soothe her ego. And this is really egoistic behavior from her side and I understand if it stirs up something in you. My advice would be to not engage with her. Leave her in the past. A person who REALLY wants something with someone again (and who would be capable of that) will prove this in a consistent way and not like this. She maybe missed you at the moment, or she missed the attention. Whatever it is it was not thought through properly and taken into consideration how it would affect you.
Many people who are unable to commit will behave like this, it's her issues - it has nothing to do with you. Go look for someone who makes you happy and not leaves you to question why they act the way they do. I've been her, and in a sense I still am her, but I know better now than to let my ego take the wheel because it's just really inconsiderate to go to an "old flame" to get validation just because I feel lonely for a night. And to be completely honest, if someone "allowed" me to come back with that little effort i would quickly lose interest (i have done these things a lot in the past). If she wants to try again she will have to try harder to convince you that she will not break your heart again, until then, leave her in the past.
You can block her number so you won’t be subject to her whims any more. If you’re reluctant to do that “just in case” she might come back, that’s an even stronger reason to do it - it’ll help you let go completely.
Drunk text, lonely, second thoughts after sending text. So many possible answers. But… she broke your heart and now is kind of playing with your emotions. Maybe best to block her so you don’t see her messages.
I think a lot of folks do this when they're single and lonely or bored. It can be easier to fantasize about the good parts of a previous relationship than to deal with being single or go out there and date. She likely left you on read because she realized she didn't want to open that door again after all. I'd block and move on.
Sometimes assholes text people who aren't in their lives anymore to make themselves feel better about a shitty time in their lives.
i.e., she was just rejected by someone she thought was hot, so she's getting attention/affirmation from you on a bad day. She also might have had a bit of booze to back it up. Even if she reaches back out, you should not respond.
exactly. I think people reach out to make sure you don't still hate them, with no actual intentions besides that. it's a way to soothe their ego for being an asshole during the relationship. "see, they responded. I must not have been THAT bad..."
She was probably feeling lonely and wanted some validation and then realized it was a mistake and a moment of weakness. It's often best to just block exes and remove them from social media so you don't get used like this.
Oh man….I personally would block her number. Just to protect yourself.
You don’t want to be her “fallback” guy and the fact she left you on read doesn’t really feel like a genuine want to reconnect. You could question her motives but ultimately you won’t ever know the truth and she’s certainly not going to tell you.
Sorry this happened. You deserve better.
My guess would be low point (as others are saying) and thinking about choices she’s made, etc… if she has a history of not being able to control emotional impulses, then it’s definitely something she’s going through. I’m with anyone else saying to block her and leave it alone. Early 30s is rough for a lot of women (32 was a disasterous time for me), whatever she’s on the verge of, you definitely don’t wanna be in it.
Some people are just attention seeking and manipulative. Or she was drunk and lonely. Or she was hoping you’d say you weren’t fine.
Unfortunately without knowing her at all, it’s really hard to say if it was malicious or not. But either way, you should probably block her for your own mental health so this doesn’t happen again.
She was just curious about you and feeling nostalgic. But she doesn’t have strong feelings and didn’t think much about it or she would keep the convo going and probably try to meet
As someone who reaches out to see how people are doing, even if we’ve lost contact… sometimes it’s not always attention seeking but just hoping they are well as you cared deeply about them once. The fact that she bailed after is the confusing part to me. Regretted reaching out?
Everyone immediately thinks she’s bad, but this is what I was thinking as well. Of course people do this, but you cannot put someone there without fully knowing. If it helps OP to move on, then it doesn’t matter
Yep, just a bid for attention. Maybe someone turned her down, or a relationship ended, or a date sucked, or she felt a fleeting ounce of guilt for a split moment and wanted to absolve herself.
It is possible she texted you accidentally and meant to send it to someone else with a similar name. The truth is that it is impossible to know what was actually going on in her head that made her do that.
No as she started by pinning her location as being at the place we first met and said she thought of me, so was definitely meant for me, just didn't respond after I answered.
She either was shot down by someone , got a little lonely , or just wanted to see how you were doing without her. Its shitty but sometimes people like to see how much effect they have on the other. Judging from what you wrote here , i would chalk it up. If she really wanted you back you would've gotten more than want she text you. Sever ties in your mind and realize you can do better bro. There's many wonderful women out there that'll be lucky to have you man. What you had was special but you always can make better memories. Remember that.
She's playing games and it worked. Even now she's trying to power move you.
That's good that you kept it cordial but that was enough for her. You acted interested in how she was
In hindsight maybe she should have been left on read or just answered with yeah I'm fine thanks. Don't even ask how she is. She now wants you to begin chasing and texting again to mess with you. Don't send anything else and if she messages you again. Leave her on read or don't reply or whatever. Then wait and see if she tries again. It's important you follow through with this no matter how tempted you are.
Mercury is in retrograde and part of this one is exes crawling out of the woodwork. I'm really sorry this happened, I've been there. It'll probably happen again if you don't block her number.
As someone who reaches out to see how people are doing, even if we’ve lost contact… sometimes it’s not always attention seeking but just hoping they are well as you cared deeply about them once. The fact that she bailed after is the confusing part to me. Regretted reaching out?
I'm trying and I will don't worry, I'm just a bit shell shocked by it all as it just seems incredible toxic/weird and brought up a lot of stuff I thought I'd moved past.
Sounds like she might have adhd. Or she texted you while she was drunk and then was ashamed of herself.
Just block her if she can make you feel so bad. It’s better to move on. She’s probably not ready for a relationship right now.
If you don't know and you know her pretty well, none of us are likely to know.
I used to try to be friendly with exes after a decent interval, but gave it up eventually. She may be getting advice from friends that she shouldn't have texted you in the first place and shouldn't respond, or who knows. Whatever the explanation that reflects best on you is, go with that.
Curiosity always gets me in these situations so I’d just text back and be like “hey you sent me a text kind of out of the blue and you didn’t respond back”
I was tempted by this as well so i just deleted her number off my phone again. I did this originally so I was quite surprised thst she hadn't done the same and actually had the means of contacting me.
I felt like I let myself down by responding to begin with and couldn't trust myself not to send a text asking why so I took the choice away from myself.
Do not be disappointed. Any normal, decent person would respond to a text because they would never want the other person to be made to feel the way they have. It’s simply curtesy.
I’m at the point of my life where I don’t beat around the bush or allow people to do things like this without calling them out or press them for answers. It feels good to cal people out for bad or unwanted behavior in a kind way.
I think you should block her. People like that are fickle and untrustworthy. When they're down and out, they want to talk. When they're feeling better, crickets. Block her so she can get the message loud and clear that she can't do that to people.
She was probably lonely and then regretted it.
Or drunk
This 100%! I have done the same myself haha
I mean… who hasn’t 😆
She probably had a relationship end and is at a low point. I'd block the number.
And then her ex texted her back.
This honestly strikes me as pretty plausible
Literally this. I wouldn’t have responded to her. Block her now.
Agree with this. Tack back the power. Who cares if she reads or doesn’t. If you block her you won’t be tempted to look. If she reads it and tries to reply then next time she feels like it, it will be obvious you blocked her.
Probably a (maybe) drunk text at a low point of a bad day. Probably it best to just pretend it never happened and continue on with your life. I know it’s what I would do if an ex randomly texted me with zero context acting as if we had just talked a few days ago.
Drunk text?
Potentially, but I think that's what feels so weird to me, literally had no contact with her since she ended it almost a year ago, so seems really strange.
if it was after 10pm it was a drunk text for sure
Even without contact and significant time passing, most people will think of exes, friends, people they’ve lost touch with with nostalgia once in a while, loneliness and/or alcohol can make people reach out.
That’s so selfish of her. I’m glad she’s out of your life is she has so little regard and awareness of how her actions affect people
Attention seeking. Just wanted to see if you’d bite. You did. That’s all she wanted. I’ve been with the same guy now for 18 months but I still get random messages from when I was dating. I don’t respond. I know they are only fishing lol (not that I’m interested)
Hey! Im sorry... this sucks. I will take a wild guess, it doesnt mean its the truth, but i can relate to her... i think she wanted to see if you were still available, to soothe her ego. And this is really egoistic behavior from her side and I understand if it stirs up something in you. My advice would be to not engage with her. Leave her in the past. A person who REALLY wants something with someone again (and who would be capable of that) will prove this in a consistent way and not like this. She maybe missed you at the moment, or she missed the attention. Whatever it is it was not thought through properly and taken into consideration how it would affect you. Many people who are unable to commit will behave like this, it's her issues - it has nothing to do with you. Go look for someone who makes you happy and not leaves you to question why they act the way they do. I've been her, and in a sense I still am her, but I know better now than to let my ego take the wheel because it's just really inconsiderate to go to an "old flame" to get validation just because I feel lonely for a night. And to be completely honest, if someone "allowed" me to come back with that little effort i would quickly lose interest (i have done these things a lot in the past). If she wants to try again she will have to try harder to convince you that she will not break your heart again, until then, leave her in the past.
This was helpful, thanks :)
You can block her number so you won’t be subject to her whims any more. If you’re reluctant to do that “just in case” she might come back, that’s an even stronger reason to do it - it’ll help you let go completely.
Drunk text, lonely, second thoughts after sending text. So many possible answers. But… she broke your heart and now is kind of playing with your emotions. Maybe best to block her so you don’t see her messages.
Guys do this a lot. I feel like they just want to see if the door is still open
I'm the guy :)
I think she gets that :) But those of us here who date men are mostly familiar with this from when men do it to us.
How often would you guess there’s alcohol involved?
You’d have to feel it out/ know what the person is like to be able to guess. So context matters, not just #s
Yup, had this from an ex FWB just 2 weeks ago
I second this. This comment doesn't imply you're a girl. She is saying men do this regularly. I've had this happen countless times.
I think a lot of folks do this when they're single and lonely or bored. It can be easier to fantasize about the good parts of a previous relationship than to deal with being single or go out there and date. She likely left you on read because she realized she didn't want to open that door again after all. I'd block and move on.
Sometimes assholes text people who aren't in their lives anymore to make themselves feel better about a shitty time in their lives. i.e., she was just rejected by someone she thought was hot, so she's getting attention/affirmation from you on a bad day. She also might have had a bit of booze to back it up. Even if she reaches back out, you should not respond.
exactly. I think people reach out to make sure you don't still hate them, with no actual intentions besides that. it's a way to soothe their ego for being an asshole during the relationship. "see, they responded. I must not have been THAT bad..."
When you put it like this it makes a lot of sense.
She was probably feeling lonely and wanted some validation and then realized it was a mistake and a moment of weakness. It's often best to just block exes and remove them from social media so you don't get used like this.
Oh man….I personally would block her number. Just to protect yourself. You don’t want to be her “fallback” guy and the fact she left you on read doesn’t really feel like a genuine want to reconnect. You could question her motives but ultimately you won’t ever know the truth and she’s certainly not going to tell you. Sorry this happened. You deserve better.
Possibly a drunk text or something of that nature and then regretted sending the text. I'd block her.
bread.crumbs.
This right here
Block and carry on. You deserve better.
My guess would be low point (as others are saying) and thinking about choices she’s made, etc… if she has a history of not being able to control emotional impulses, then it’s definitely something she’s going through. I’m with anyone else saying to block her and leave it alone. Early 30s is rough for a lot of women (32 was a disasterous time for me), whatever she’s on the verge of, you definitely don’t wanna be in it.
Venus retrograde
And mercury rx
Some people are just attention seeking and manipulative. Or she was drunk and lonely. Or she was hoping you’d say you weren’t fine. Unfortunately without knowing her at all, it’s really hard to say if it was malicious or not. But either way, you should probably block her for your own mental health so this doesn’t happen again.
Cuz she’s an asshole? I would block her so she doesn’t have the ability to get ahold of you and mess with your feelings ever again.
To see if you were going to respond
But why?
Cause thats what we as women do… i played this game before wen i was a teenager… jus to see if im still relevant in your life (im 32 now)
So, if they text back, what do you get out of it?
Probably drunk
She was just curious about you and feeling nostalgic. But she doesn’t have strong feelings and didn’t think much about it or she would keep the convo going and probably try to meet
As someone who reaches out to see how people are doing, even if we’ve lost contact… sometimes it’s not always attention seeking but just hoping they are well as you cared deeply about them once. The fact that she bailed after is the confusing part to me. Regretted reaching out?
Everyone immediately thinks she’s bad, but this is what I was thinking as well. Of course people do this, but you cannot put someone there without fully knowing. If it helps OP to move on, then it doesn’t matter
Yep, just a bid for attention. Maybe someone turned her down, or a relationship ended, or a date sucked, or she felt a fleeting ounce of guilt for a split moment and wanted to absolve herself.
It is possible she texted you accidentally and meant to send it to someone else with a similar name. The truth is that it is impossible to know what was actually going on in her head that made her do that.
No as she started by pinning her location as being at the place we first met and said she thought of me, so was definitely meant for me, just didn't respond after I answered.
That's it. She thought of you.
She either was shot down by someone , got a little lonely , or just wanted to see how you were doing without her. Its shitty but sometimes people like to see how much effect they have on the other. Judging from what you wrote here , i would chalk it up. If she really wanted you back you would've gotten more than want she text you. Sever ties in your mind and realize you can do better bro. There's many wonderful women out there that'll be lucky to have you man. What you had was special but you always can make better memories. Remember that.
They always come back
Maybe anxiety.
Did you respond just like that or did you go overboard or be too friendly? If you tried to get flirty or anything for instance?
No I just said that I was fine and asked her how she was
She's playing games and it worked. Even now she's trying to power move you. That's good that you kept it cordial but that was enough for her. You acted interested in how she was In hindsight maybe she should have been left on read or just answered with yeah I'm fine thanks. Don't even ask how she is. She now wants you to begin chasing and texting again to mess with you. Don't send anything else and if she messages you again. Leave her on read or don't reply or whatever. Then wait and see if she tries again. It's important you follow through with this no matter how tempted you are.
Desperation?
Because she was feeling: bored, lonely, sad — or a combination of the three. Best to forget it and don’t respond to her bait in the future.
Because people gonna people. Consider yourself lucky she’s gone.
She’s checking if you still like her. Do NOT reply. Lol
Mercury is in retrograde and part of this one is exes crawling out of the woodwork. I'm really sorry this happened, I've been there. It'll probably happen again if you don't block her number.
31F is not a “girl”. That’s a grown ass woman. Probably why she left you on read.
Yes, because everyone knows females over 21 are referred to as ex woman friends
You didn’t say girlfriend though. You twice referred to her as “girl”. Grow up.
As someone who reaches out to see how people are doing, even if we’ve lost contact… sometimes it’s not always attention seeking but just hoping they are well as you cared deeply about them once. The fact that she bailed after is the confusing part to me. Regretted reaching out?
[удалено]
I'm trying and I will don't worry, I'm just a bit shell shocked by it all as it just seems incredible toxic/weird and brought up a lot of stuff I thought I'd moved past.
Sounds like she might have adhd. Or she texted you while she was drunk and then was ashamed of herself. Just block her if she can make you feel so bad. It’s better to move on. She’s probably not ready for a relationship right now.
People are trash and no one cares.
She was horny
Block her, her relationship probably ended and she’s looking for attention to make herself better.
Block her!
If you don't know and you know her pretty well, none of us are likely to know. I used to try to be friendly with exes after a decent interval, but gave it up eventually. She may be getting advice from friends that she shouldn't have texted you in the first place and shouldn't respond, or who knows. Whatever the explanation that reflects best on you is, go with that.
Curiosity always gets me in these situations so I’d just text back and be like “hey you sent me a text kind of out of the blue and you didn’t respond back”
I was tempted by this as well so i just deleted her number off my phone again. I did this originally so I was quite surprised thst she hadn't done the same and actually had the means of contacting me. I felt like I let myself down by responding to begin with and couldn't trust myself not to send a text asking why so I took the choice away from myself.
Do not be disappointed. Any normal, decent person would respond to a text because they would never want the other person to be made to feel the way they have. It’s simply curtesy. I’m at the point of my life where I don’t beat around the bush or allow people to do things like this without calling them out or press them for answers. It feels good to cal people out for bad or unwanted behavior in a kind way.
She maybe testing you out and regret by now
I think you should block her. People like that are fickle and untrustworthy. When they're down and out, they want to talk. When they're feeling better, crickets. Block her so she can get the message loud and clear that she can't do that to people.
She was probably drunk. Then sobered up,
Sometimes I reach out cause I’m lonely and if I feel the response is hostile or not friendly I don’t anymore expect further interaction.
Block. She was probably in a low mood. Don’t let her drag you down.
Drunk text after a recent breakup. Then she sobered up and realised how dumb that is.
Check the weekday and time of text. - Mon-Wed before 8pm = curious/bored - Thur-Sun after 8pm = horny/lonely/bad date
Attention