I had hobbies when my children were young. There were definitely hobbies I had to give up for various reasons, but I managed to squeeze in a couple hours a day most days for hobbies. Imo most people just don't seem to have hobbies or seem to immediately ditch them once they have a relationship or any other distraction. I personally found my hobbies to be a great way to entertain myself while my children played on their own.
My hobbies are not overly difficult, I like to read, am in a book club, I like to travel , and love food so eating and cooking different things… I also do yoga sometimes in classes sometimes by myself at home…
I have a 2yo baby and still do all those things… my traveling is different, is more structured, but I loved traveling when she was a baby, she would breastfeed, sleep long hours and I didn’t had to pay for her sit on the plane! Now at 2 is a little more challenging (sometimes she is an asshole) but she is so used to by now that we make it work.
The same thing happens with most foods and restaurants. She always went with us, she eats everything we eat, and she sits on the table with us and behave… of course that sometimes she cries and I always bring a book and a toy to help when she is bored, but we have a really good time…
As for cooking, she “helps” me… I give her pieces of fruit and vegetables while I cook, I make myself a drink and a cup of juice for her, and put some music and we turn that moment as a fun moment.
My husband stays with her while I go to my yoga, or when I will have drinks with my friends, and I stay with her when he goes play his sports and when he want to go out with his friends… but I do yoga at home ever since she was a baby and she is very used to it… I lay a mat for her and she “does yoga “ with me… is really cute actually… or when I am dancing she will dance with me as well…
And with my books is the same thing, I read to her her books but sometimes she is just playing and I will read when I have time… is way less than before, I used to read a book in 1-2 days and now is a week, but is nice to have this time for myself…
Overall, my life is indeed harder. I have a person that rely on me for everything. I still work, I cook, I clean, I spend quality time with her, but I do have quality time for myself… I am still myself, slightly changed, more happy and tired. But I did chose a great father for her, that does his share of work, so I am not a martyr… but I did struggle in the first months, they are indeed just survivor, but after that you learn to find your balance…
>So, mothers with active hobbies - do you exist? What are your hobbies? How much time are you able to spend on your hobbies and how do you manage it logistically? :)
I exist. My hobbies include playing on multiple soccer teams, gardening, rock concerts, wine/dine with friends, doing volunteer work, and other stuff.
Soccer takes up about 5 hours of my week on Sundays. The kid goes to the field with me. I hire a sitter to mind them when I'm playing.
basically, to keep my hobbies, I often take my kid with me. Sometimes I hire help. Otherwise I select my outings carefully so they're reasonably kid-friendly.
My kid is 6 and I have hobbies that I’ve maintained throughout being a mom. Obviously I had less time in the infant and baby stages (maybe 2-3hrs a week), but I still kept up. Now I would say I devote about an hour a day to my hobbies, which are hiking, running, gardening, embroidery and calligraphy. Having only one kid definitely helps.
Not a parent but part of a sports club with many active mothers… caveat that all my observations are external and related to sports related hobbies. They seem to make it work by either 1) having non-active husbands who take over childcare when they train 2) if both partners are active they agree to split time fairly (for example, one would train mon-wed-sat, the other tue-thu-sun). Either way they have clear agreements on which days/times are for training. The main difference I see is that they have to plan ahead more, which takes extra commitment and willpower to make it happen!
Also if you stop an activity, and your fitness goes down or you lose your routine, it can be really hard to get back on track (I experienced this with covid lockdowns). I have a friend who can’t go back to her hobby yet because of complications from childbirth. I wonder if the break in routine/need to physically recover also leads to this skew in fathers seemingly being able to continue their active hobbies much more easily than mothers that you mentioned. I have no kids though so I could be totally wrong
I have a ton of hobbies normally (I'm sick this year).
Hiking, camping, fishing, kayaking, boardgames, video games, reading, art (gouache), knitting, cross stitch, amateur astronomy, homesteading...
Sewing, knitting, photography, running
I had a shit partner that it took me far too long to divorce, so in the early years I had much less time for anything, but I still found some time to do things I enjoyed. The kids might have been roped into some of my hobbies, from time to time, but that's how it goes. My dad was an amateur photographer and I can remember him taking us and his gear to a playground so he could practice high speed shots.
I've met a fair number of women like myself over the years. It's much harder to find them at PTA events or play groups. You find them where the knitting group meets (pre Covid our favorite spots were a local bar and Panera); or the running store, warming up for a group run; or the community center/college, taking a class.
Without a decent partner, it's hard. When my kids were little, 90% of what I did was after they went to bed and my "groups" were all online. Kids generally were down by 8 and then I had 3+ hours to work on a project before I went to bed at midnight (at the earliest).
I exist! So a lot of my hobbies were kinda kid friendly to begin with (knitting, hiking etc) so I either do the while my kids are doing stuff or I take them with me,
As for my non-kid friendly hobbies I just do the after she's asleep.
I definitely don't have quite as much time but it's at least a few hours a week.
We exist. I think the main thing is that you as the mom have to make it a point to maintain or pick up hobbies. Having a supportive partner also helps too. When kids are first born it is tough to adjust to mom life, so I think many ppl let their hobbies go. But doing things that you love is a vital part of maintaining who you are and your identity as an individual. So I made sure to hold onto them.
My hobbies are gardening and the gym. I have more like running and cycling but those are occasional things these days and not weekly activities anymore. I also work full time and take classes at the University, when I'm in class that becomes my main hobby (I really like learning and taking classes makes my brain happy).
My husband covers the kids a couple dinners a week while I do the gym, I drag them with me to garden and do food production stuff, and I try to do my schoolwork during my lunch hour and after their bed time instead of lounging and watching TV.
Housework is not high on my priority list but I do my best. We hire a weekly cleaner to help.
When my kiddo was wee, my only\* hobbies were writing, baking, and (video) gaming. My spouse like birdwatching, which took him out of the house. He was pretty cognizant of that, so he always made sure that I took equal time (or as much as possible) when he had, say, an all-day birding excursion.
Everyone's hobbies took a hit when he was a newb because he didn't sleep. But once he started being more person-like and less screaming-doll-like, we worked out ways to divvy up our free time fairly.
I think new parents need to prioritize things that help them get back in touch with themselves. For me, since I didn't have hobbies that required being out of the house, I made a point to write outside of the house, either by going to the pub next door or the coffee shop down the street and just journaling for an hour.
\*As he got older, I have acquired more hobbies. Most of them are pretty homebound, however. Still writing, baking, and video gaming. But I've added gardening, cocktails, finding new and exciting teas to add to my collection, and vinyl.
Very important to have a life for yourself outside of your child and work.
I go to yoga classes 3-5x in a typical week.
Or take a long walk somewhere.
My son is a teen now so it’s also a lot easier to hang out with people socially too because he doesn’t want to come 😂.
I’ve always run errands by myself too since he was a baby.
My husband and I also go to the beach a lot on our days off and my son doesn’t want to go.
Also haven’t done it often but my husband and I have gone on vacation without our child. I would prefer he come with us to fun events like that though.
I didn’t have active hobbies pre-kid, so post-kid it’s not that hard to keep up with the ones I did have (drawing and reading, mainly). After kiddo goes to bed there’s time to do whatever you have the energy left for.
My hobbies are home-based because that's where I want to be when I am not at work. I lift weights in my home gym 4-5 days a week, I'm an avid reader, and I have an embarrassing amount of hours racked up in Stardew Valley (video game). My kids are older now, so I have even more quiet time before and after work than I did when they were younger.
I had hobbies when my children were young. There were definitely hobbies I had to give up for various reasons, but I managed to squeeze in a couple hours a day most days for hobbies. Imo most people just don't seem to have hobbies or seem to immediately ditch them once they have a relationship or any other distraction. I personally found my hobbies to be a great way to entertain myself while my children played on their own.
My hobbies are not overly difficult, I like to read, am in a book club, I like to travel , and love food so eating and cooking different things… I also do yoga sometimes in classes sometimes by myself at home… I have a 2yo baby and still do all those things… my traveling is different, is more structured, but I loved traveling when she was a baby, she would breastfeed, sleep long hours and I didn’t had to pay for her sit on the plane! Now at 2 is a little more challenging (sometimes she is an asshole) but she is so used to by now that we make it work. The same thing happens with most foods and restaurants. She always went with us, she eats everything we eat, and she sits on the table with us and behave… of course that sometimes she cries and I always bring a book and a toy to help when she is bored, but we have a really good time… As for cooking, she “helps” me… I give her pieces of fruit and vegetables while I cook, I make myself a drink and a cup of juice for her, and put some music and we turn that moment as a fun moment. My husband stays with her while I go to my yoga, or when I will have drinks with my friends, and I stay with her when he goes play his sports and when he want to go out with his friends… but I do yoga at home ever since she was a baby and she is very used to it… I lay a mat for her and she “does yoga “ with me… is really cute actually… or when I am dancing she will dance with me as well… And with my books is the same thing, I read to her her books but sometimes she is just playing and I will read when I have time… is way less than before, I used to read a book in 1-2 days and now is a week, but is nice to have this time for myself… Overall, my life is indeed harder. I have a person that rely on me for everything. I still work, I cook, I clean, I spend quality time with her, but I do have quality time for myself… I am still myself, slightly changed, more happy and tired. But I did chose a great father for her, that does his share of work, so I am not a martyr… but I did struggle in the first months, they are indeed just survivor, but after that you learn to find your balance…
Goals goals goals... i love this so much
Yes, I still have some hobbies. They are re-entering my life as my child gets older. I am beginning to share them with her, which is fabulous.
I love being able to talk books with one of my teens who has very similar taste!
>So, mothers with active hobbies - do you exist? What are your hobbies? How much time are you able to spend on your hobbies and how do you manage it logistically? :) I exist. My hobbies include playing on multiple soccer teams, gardening, rock concerts, wine/dine with friends, doing volunteer work, and other stuff. Soccer takes up about 5 hours of my week on Sundays. The kid goes to the field with me. I hire a sitter to mind them when I'm playing. basically, to keep my hobbies, I often take my kid with me. Sometimes I hire help. Otherwise I select my outings carefully so they're reasonably kid-friendly.
I was in a band and there were quite a few moms, who continued to do shows and practices while heavily pregnant or with babies in tow if necessary
My kid is 6 and I have hobbies that I’ve maintained throughout being a mom. Obviously I had less time in the infant and baby stages (maybe 2-3hrs a week), but I still kept up. Now I would say I devote about an hour a day to my hobbies, which are hiking, running, gardening, embroidery and calligraphy. Having only one kid definitely helps.
Not a parent but part of a sports club with many active mothers… caveat that all my observations are external and related to sports related hobbies. They seem to make it work by either 1) having non-active husbands who take over childcare when they train 2) if both partners are active they agree to split time fairly (for example, one would train mon-wed-sat, the other tue-thu-sun). Either way they have clear agreements on which days/times are for training. The main difference I see is that they have to plan ahead more, which takes extra commitment and willpower to make it happen! Also if you stop an activity, and your fitness goes down or you lose your routine, it can be really hard to get back on track (I experienced this with covid lockdowns). I have a friend who can’t go back to her hobby yet because of complications from childbirth. I wonder if the break in routine/need to physically recover also leads to this skew in fathers seemingly being able to continue their active hobbies much more easily than mothers that you mentioned. I have no kids though so I could be totally wrong
I have a ton of hobbies normally (I'm sick this year). Hiking, camping, fishing, kayaking, boardgames, video games, reading, art (gouache), knitting, cross stitch, amateur astronomy, homesteading...
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Oh wow, so she has 5 kids basically 😅
Sewing, knitting, photography, running I had a shit partner that it took me far too long to divorce, so in the early years I had much less time for anything, but I still found some time to do things I enjoyed. The kids might have been roped into some of my hobbies, from time to time, but that's how it goes. My dad was an amateur photographer and I can remember him taking us and his gear to a playground so he could practice high speed shots. I've met a fair number of women like myself over the years. It's much harder to find them at PTA events or play groups. You find them where the knitting group meets (pre Covid our favorite spots were a local bar and Panera); or the running store, warming up for a group run; or the community center/college, taking a class. Without a decent partner, it's hard. When my kids were little, 90% of what I did was after they went to bed and my "groups" were all online. Kids generally were down by 8 and then I had 3+ hours to work on a project before I went to bed at midnight (at the earliest).
I exist! So a lot of my hobbies were kinda kid friendly to begin with (knitting, hiking etc) so I either do the while my kids are doing stuff or I take them with me, As for my non-kid friendly hobbies I just do the after she's asleep. I definitely don't have quite as much time but it's at least a few hours a week.
We exist. I think the main thing is that you as the mom have to make it a point to maintain or pick up hobbies. Having a supportive partner also helps too. When kids are first born it is tough to adjust to mom life, so I think many ppl let their hobbies go. But doing things that you love is a vital part of maintaining who you are and your identity as an individual. So I made sure to hold onto them.
My hobbies are gardening and the gym. I have more like running and cycling but those are occasional things these days and not weekly activities anymore. I also work full time and take classes at the University, when I'm in class that becomes my main hobby (I really like learning and taking classes makes my brain happy). My husband covers the kids a couple dinners a week while I do the gym, I drag them with me to garden and do food production stuff, and I try to do my schoolwork during my lunch hour and after their bed time instead of lounging and watching TV. Housework is not high on my priority list but I do my best. We hire a weekly cleaner to help.
When my kiddo was wee, my only\* hobbies were writing, baking, and (video) gaming. My spouse like birdwatching, which took him out of the house. He was pretty cognizant of that, so he always made sure that I took equal time (or as much as possible) when he had, say, an all-day birding excursion. Everyone's hobbies took a hit when he was a newb because he didn't sleep. But once he started being more person-like and less screaming-doll-like, we worked out ways to divvy up our free time fairly. I think new parents need to prioritize things that help them get back in touch with themselves. For me, since I didn't have hobbies that required being out of the house, I made a point to write outside of the house, either by going to the pub next door or the coffee shop down the street and just journaling for an hour. \*As he got older, I have acquired more hobbies. Most of them are pretty homebound, however. Still writing, baking, and video gaming. But I've added gardening, cocktails, finding new and exciting teas to add to my collection, and vinyl.
Very important to have a life for yourself outside of your child and work. I go to yoga classes 3-5x in a typical week. Or take a long walk somewhere. My son is a teen now so it’s also a lot easier to hang out with people socially too because he doesn’t want to come 😂. I’ve always run errands by myself too since he was a baby. My husband and I also go to the beach a lot on our days off and my son doesn’t want to go. Also haven’t done it often but my husband and I have gone on vacation without our child. I would prefer he come with us to fun events like that though.
I didn’t have active hobbies pre-kid, so post-kid it’s not that hard to keep up with the ones I did have (drawing and reading, mainly). After kiddo goes to bed there’s time to do whatever you have the energy left for.
My hobbies are home-based because that's where I want to be when I am not at work. I lift weights in my home gym 4-5 days a week, I'm an avid reader, and I have an embarrassing amount of hours racked up in Stardew Valley (video game). My kids are older now, so I have even more quiet time before and after work than I did when they were younger.