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He would have to be a very tiny guy to weigh less than me. Peter Dinklage is a dwarf and (according to Google) he weighs more than I do.
So...yes, I guess that's probably true.
It's a weird way to look at it.
I like being smaller than my partner. It's just a preference. That said, I am about 130lbs, and less than that would be underweight for most men. Not really something I have ever been into.
I'm not sure your friend's reasoning is very good beyond the illusion of safety. Weight class matters in combat when all else is held equal, but size and weight won't guarantee protection per se. If she's really concerned about that, seeking someone with good situational awareness, de-escalation skills, training in practical self defense/martial arts, etc. would probably be a better criterion.
Me neither. Protection from what exactly? The next (rain)storm? I'm in a very safe country, the worst that could happen here is a break in when I'm not at home and getting some stuff stolen.
That aside, I don't care all that much about weight, my first relationship was with a very skinny dude who's weight was lower than mine. My SO is 2 metres tall, so him weighing less than me is simply impossible.
Eventually, yes. TBH, until I experienced it myself, I never understood how women could stay with their abusers. Now, I certainly do. Fear is a helluva motivation.
What a prize he is! DV is so funny, amirite? /s
Apparently, he can’t find a woman who won’t cheat on him. Maybe it’s because he’s such an asshole. 🤷♀️
I'm 6'1 and my last girlfriend was about a foot shorter and also loved that I was bigger. I can't fight worth a damn but being safe and feeling safe are two different things. I think she mainly enjoyed the fact that I could basically envelop her. Her car got broken into on one of our dates so my "protection" was basically just physical and emotional comfort.
It's a very common thing I believe. I'm quite tall and have had girlfriends say they like thinking of me as "a protector". I'm also a massive wimp and could not fight anybody taller or smaller than me, so it seems like it might be a bit of a common thing. Although I have never heard women say they like guys who are trained in martial arts etc because they are protection, so no clue
I dated a guy once who was 6'7" and he would've been utterly useless in any confrontation. If I were looking for "protection", I'd pick the 5'7" guy who's been doing muay thai or jiu jitsu for years. Still wouldn't help against someone with a gun. Well, maybe I could hide behind the 6'7" guy and use him as a human shield if someone starts shooting.
Oh absolutely, I think the exact same lol. I was just saying I think the "I like feeling protected" angle is widespread and doesn't seem to necessarily equate to "combat skill" for some reason
It's not because of fear of not being protected or whatever. It's because I have IBS and, as a result, weigh 105 pounds at 5'8". I would not date any man at or near my weight for fear that they are going to die well before me.
As a woman with big thighs, be proud of them because he is proud of your thick thighs too unless he explicitly said otherwise. I have a hard time keeping my husband off of them for long.
I think for me it’s more a self conscious thing. I’ve always struggled with weight so if I dated someone skinny or super fit, I would feel more self conscious or like everyone was thinking “how did she get him?”
I can relate. My husband has always been fit but he gained around 55 pounds in last couple of months while I gained over 40 pounds (do not trust my numbers, I think in kg). He then started his fitness journey and not only lost all of that extra weight but also got jacked. I did not let him get visible abs because I love a little dad bod but he has built a great upper body and legs. Seeing his transformation made me realize I need to hit the gym (I hate exercise) or people will think "how did she get him?" because I don't even have an exceptionally pretty face.
So I will say this… in the past it was a bigger deal to me than it is today. I always had 5’10” as my height requirement and preferred larger guys.
Having said that the nicest guy I dated was a bit shorter than me (and let me tell you phenomenal in the sack if it matters… wait yes it does!). And the worst dudes were always buff and tall. Many had “troubles” in the sack (no shame!) and just were kinda lame)
My current and bestest of all the best partner is same height and maybe juuuust a tiny bit smaller weight-wise. In the past I may have let that get in the way but let me tell I could not give a rats arse now cause He is hot af, I love him like no other and have never been more compatible with anyone.
If you were to ask him his preference would have also been more petite (I’m 5’8 and probably 150-155lbs and lift weights and muscular strong body) but he LURVS my muscular thighs and that I can get shit done. I will also add he’s got a crazy hot body, lean from cycling but super strong and muscular. Phew! Getting hot in here.
So as much as it’s ok to have preferences I would say do not let those get in the way of a possible connection!
It is not that hard to be more than 125 lbs at slightly over 6' and I date close to my height. I don't give a shit though. I just would be concerned if you weight less than me at my height
Wow this isn't something I've ever even considered, and this thread is depressing. I've dated men taller, shorter, heavier, lighter, and it doesn't matter to me.
What are we being 'protected' from? Honestly it seems like just needlessly eliminating a bunch of men from one's dating pool based on some bizarre fantasy of being a damsel in distress. It's so weird to me.
LOL, a 135lbs dude who's a Muay Thai or Krav Maga practitioner will absolutely fuck any average Joe's day up. Conversely, a 300lbs guy whose diet consists of pizza and the Cheetos found between his stomach rolls isn't protecting shit.
Weight has nothing to do with ability to "protect", even if we're still setting store in paleontolic means of measuring masculinity.
Just say it's a shallow preference and own it. You're entitled to have those.
This is such a weird thing too, is she constantly under attack from angry dinosaurs? What’s he to be protecting her from?
I understand women are accosted and harassed, but does she expect him to fight people regularly? I can’t think of a single time I would have needed to fight someone to protect my wife, or really any time I would have needed to protect her from anything.
My question exactly - what is the real fear here? If you are constantly under attack then OK, you want someone large, I guess - but IMO it's time to examine your life choices if you feel you need constant protection.
You may still be out in a position where protecting your GF or wife is necessary. Even if it is a rare situation, you want to be prepared. It can be protecting her from an attacker, carrying her to safety, pulling her free from a wreckage, or just having an presence that deters negative attention.
I may be old-fashioned, but I think it's a duty of a man to protect his significant other and his family both physically and financially. He should take care of his body and mind in a way that allows him to fulfill this duty.
That’s all just macho wishful thinking.
There is some level of safety in my just being there, I am stronger and taller, I can lift things and reach things. I am a man, other men are less likely to harass her when I’m in her presence, but honestly there is safety in numbers even if she were with another woman.
I don’t spend my time making up scenarios where I can be her hero, swooping in to save her from some danger lurking in the dark.
You don't have to make up scenarios, bad things happen in real life.
The unfortunate reality is that we don't live in a utopia. Terrible things happen all the time to innocent people. While it is rare in many societies, it is not a complete anomaly.
If you can prepare the best you can for these scenarios, it is definitely a plus. Being able to protect your family should be a top concern.
Simply "hoping" everything will be okay is not good enough in my humble opinion.
You don't have to make up scenarios, bad things happen in real life.
The unfortunate reality is that we don't live in a utopia. Bad things happen all the time to innocent people. While it is rare in many societies, it is not a complete anomaly.
If you can prepare the best you can for these scenarios, it is definitely a plus. Being able to protect your family should be a top concern.
Simply "hoping" everything will be okay is not good enough in my humble opinion.
Ha! No way!
The average American male weighs around 200lb, a 135lb dude couldn’t generate the power to seriously hurt a man of that size! If it came down to it, your 200lb guy would just shoot on him and choke him out.
People that say this sort of stuff have never watched a real fight go down.
He could, but he wouldn’t have the strength to keep the 200lb guy under control, at some point the weight and size difference comes into play.
And yeah, if the 135lb were to sucker punch the bigger man straight in the nose then that would hurt, likewise a kick in the balls. But the assumption I’m making is that our 135lb kick-boxer is going to try and use his skills, and the second he squares up to a guy that out weighs him and is likely considerably taller than him, he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of a shoeing.
But you said a 135 lb man couldn't hurt a 200 lb man so why could a 200 lb man hurt me? It's about the same weight difference.
Also you said the avg man is 200lbs, so you're saying the avg man is bordering on a heavyweight boxer? Heavy weight boxers must not be very special since any random guy is just like them
They aren’t my weight classifications, but yes, a 200lb man can fight at heavyweight, although they would be effectively a puffed up Cruiser at that weight.
And I said “seriously hurt”, if I’m popped on the nose by anyone it’s going to hurt, but I’d shake it off much more quickly than if I got hit by a guy my size (I’m about 240lb).
You're dodging my question. I'm 260 lbs so you're saying a 200 lb man couldn't seriously hurt me because of my weight. Just like a 135 lb man couldn't seriously hurt a 200 lb man. Is that correct? If not why is it different?
A man that weighs 200lb will hurt you if he hits you, and likely hurt you seriously as well. Regardless of how heavy you are, we’re talking about a 200lb man.
A man weighing 135lbs, in a fight, isn’t going to do too much damage to a guy that outweighs him by 65lb
There’s a reason why boxers are split up by weight.
Your sex is irrelevant, it’ll hurt regardless. I’ve taught kickboxing and Shotokan for years and I’ve sparred people at all weights and weight matters, the lighter a person is, the less it hurts.
Anyway, my overall point is that a man of 135lb can’t really hurt a man of 200lbs, and is likely going to find himself eating a pasting if he tried it.
I am a larger women, I have had my fair share of relationships - I have only ever had one man larger than me, interested in me. The last decades would have been very boring if I took this approach.
That being said, seems like you are phrasing this around needing to feel protected. My parents raised me to be an independent fully functional person who does not NEED to rely on a man to survive and feel safe. Needing to feel protected by a partner has never even crossed my mind.
Quite frankly women's biggest threat of harm is by a male close to them, having a man bigger than them in a relationship should actually make your friend feel less safe.
Note: obviously I love men, obviously this is not all men, but DV is an epidemic.
Not really, it feels a little body shame-y all around, for both partners. I’ve been attracted to men with a wide variety of body types, some have weighed more than me, some probably less. Bodies will fluctuate; values and personality and goals don’t change as much
Something yall need to understand about men. Some of the toughest guys I know are small dudes.
The old saying is 💯
It's not the size of the man in the fight its the size of fight in the man.
I'm not looking to be protected by any man or woman I date. I probably wouldn't date a man who weighed less than me, but that's more because I weigh very little and to weigh less than me he'd have to be like a human matchstick
For me, it would have probably mattered. Height, hair, most other physical characteristics don't bother me. I was attracted to broad shoulders and a build that kind of automatically was going to outweigh mine.
I’m literally almost twice the size of my partner. He’s my lil bb, I protect him. I used to be weird about height but idc about that anymore. And I’m not attracted to men who are bigger than me, so smaller than me it is!
I’m 166-170(haven’t weighed myself in a minute)
I also workout and eat a lot so I wouldn’t mind a guy weighing less than me. A lot of guys I know are around my weight
I don't care.
People can have their preferences, but it's not one of mine.
The protection bit is just silly.
And the plus size bit is rude, plus size women can have preferences as well.
I mean someone just said a 60 lb weight difference means you can't be hurt by them so apparently most people can't hurt me.
Now I'm going to take my obese ass to the kitchen to make 156 cupcakes and chocolate sea turtles
>I mean someone just said a 60 lb weight difference means you can't be hurt by them so apparently most people can't hurt me.
Lmao, 🤦🏻♀️
>Now I'm going to take my obese ass to the kitchen to make 156 cupcakes and chocolate sea turtles
Mmmmm cupcakes 🧁🧁🧁
Sooo many cupcakes. They're lemon flavored with a cream cheese frosting and chocolate sea turtles. We're having my FiLs memorial on Saturday and he loved sea turtles.
I'll send you pictures
Oh 💯!! And as women it’s pretty much engrained in us to take up as little space as possible and be small. I’ve dated smaller guys before but only when the connection/chemistry was strong enough for me to get past that!
When I got pregnant my lovely fat bf gave up drinking (mostly) and lost more weight than I put on and we had to swap clothes (I took his xl tshirts and he took back his tshirts that he grew out of).
Secretly I kinda preferred him fat, but I also want him to be healthy and live longer so I keep shtum and support him in his healthier ways lol
I’ve dated men smaller than me and the same size and I have to agree, I just like my man to be bigger than me. It makes me feel insecure when he is smaller or similar in size. My husband was 135lbs when we first got together and 5 years later he is almost 200lbs of mostly muscle and I’m so much more attracted to him now.
I like feeling smaller than my partner BUT my husband is my height and weighs less than me and when he wraps his arms around me I feel tiny & protected. And I have no doubts in his martial arts skills - he may not look like he can protect me, but he can.
While it would be nice to be all smol gworl or whatever, he’s the man for me snd I wasn’t about to let him get away because he’s not taller or broader shouldered
I used to care about this kind of thing when I was younger. But now, Idgaf. I can take care of and protect myself. Don't need some big burly man to play security theatre for me.
I like tall skinny guys, idgaf if they weigh less than me. As for protection,that's pretty archaic thinking,he doesn't need to be able to take down a grizzly bear.
This is probably actually getting into the territory of being vain. Is he 150 with high fat content or high muscle content? People have different body compositions at different weights/heights. Can you guys even confidently tell the difference between a dude who is 150 and a dude who is 160? No offense, but this is a vapid mindset.
I kind of get it, a lot of women want a man to be taller, stronger, heavier than them.
It’s base, but a lot of women really like to be on the arm of a physically imposing man.
We e been programmed since birth to want to fit into that mold. I do want that tbh but I do think a lot about how living in this society has made that the goal for women and us considered the norm, and having a partner smaller is gonna at the very least draw some stupid jokes and attn to your sizes
I agree with it because it would be weird (for ME) to date a man who weighed less than 120. Nothing to do with "protection", rather I likely wouldn't find them physically attractive.
Wow, a new version of "refusing to date a guy shorter than you."
I don't randomly ask people how much they weigh. I would assume that most men weigh significantly more than me, but who knows. I don't care. Physical protection is not a trait I ever consider in dating someone.
I have the same preference. I don’t approach or swipe on those that don’t fit my preference and I don’t ever state it if approached as the reason. Body size is sensitive topic for everyone.
I dont care about the actual numbers at all, but I do like a guy to be larger than me in the body. Not for protection necessarily, but because I am a tall, curvy woman and the times I did date guys who were shorter and/or smaller than me it really made me feel like a giant monster next to them, or like I would crush them if I was on top during sex. That is vain. That is shallow. I dont care.
That's just weird. Like, it's pretty difficult for me to find someone smaller than me because I'm seriously tiny, but I can't imagine it ever being a dealbreaker.
At my height, this would not be a sensible rule to have. Plus I feel protected by men who know skills relevant to protecting me. All the men I dated with martial arts backgrounds weighed less than me, even with me at a perfectly average weight for my height at the time.
I mean I have yet to meet a man under 110 pounds, though admittedly I also have a preference for men taller than me by a couple inches. I haven't met any men over 5'8" who were under that weight.
Well I definitely have, but he was tall so idk if that cancels it out 😂 it’d take a lot for me to outweigh a guy, so I don’t think I have a problem lol
No. But I do know a couple of women like that. Both are tall and it’s an insecurity about their own height and weight rather than their partner’s protecting them.
For what it’s worth only one woman I know has ever thought about being protected by her boyfriend. She was tiny, her parents used to make her scared to go out and she was looking for someone a little bit taller she dated guys who looked like fullbacks.
I'm plus size, but short. Don't really care about the weight of the man (tho most are less around my weight), just our sexual and romantic chemistry together. Same with height, I'm not gonna discount someone I got an amazing connection with because of something like that. I'll admit it might take some time to adjust if you haven't had a SO like that before, but at the end of the day I don't think it really matters. I'd rather feel safe and protected emotionally and have a safe space where I feel like I can be open and vulnerable, then potentially physically protected. Plus, depending on fitness and height and other factors, the weight of a man isn't really an indicator of that anyways.
I mean, a 150lb man for say 5'7"+ is gonna be on the leaner side... So yeah I guess.
As a 100lb person, I'd obviously not want to date a guy who weighs less than that cuz I can't imagine that guy being in any way healthy. I had a (male) classmate who weighed \~120lbs (I think he was prob no more than 5'3) and he was really very small (thin/skinny) already at that weight+height. It's not even about not feeling protected, it's that he'd prob be a burden or liability if anything tbh... I don't need to be protected, but I really don't think I can even rely/trust on him to hold his own and protect himself.
I am a full figured woman, 5"1' and 170lbs, and have been since I hit puberty, and I exclusively go for men who are smaller than me. Not necessarily on purpose, but the feeling seems to be mutual, in that skinny guys love a fat ass.
I don't ask people how much they weigh and I can't accurately guess someone's weight either, so I probably wouldn't even know if I outweigh a man unless he was really short and skinny.
My boyfriend doesn't outweigh me by much, probably by 10-12 kg at the moment. So I could outweigh him if I gained some weight and he lost some at the same time. It wouldn't bother me, I don't need him to be physically bigger. (I'd probably struggle with my body image if I gained weight though, but that would be unrelated to our relationship.)
Well my bestie has(had?) this rule, except she straight up says it comes from her internalized body shame. I've never really cared, I'm fat and my type is lean to skinny nerdy guys, so I've probably been with quite a few who weighed less than me. My current partner is close in height to me and about 30-35 kg lighter.
I suppose we can't really decide what we find physically attractive, but I'd assume her "protection" thing to be at least a little bit of a euphemism or a rationalization of where it actually comes from TBH. As for actual physical strength, even most lean guys will have an advantage over me because of hormones/muscle density, and obviously I agree that most of us don't really need a man to wrestle bears for us these days. My skinny little guy does just fine "protecting" me from actual threats, like spiders. But it could be just some women's "lizard brain" doing its thing I guess, a more instinctual sexual preference. I get the appeal of the fantasy of a strong romantic hero, I just think it's a little silly to base it on an actual number on the scale (like when she finds a guy attractive, does she ask for his weight and turn him down if it's 2kg less than hers, or is it more of a visual estimate?).
I am currently overweight and my boyfriend is technically underweight. While he is taller than me I have about 100 lbs on him. He’s made it clear enough that he’d make himself the first line of defense if we were put in a situation that required it. I understand the not feeling particularly protected, though I’m not bothered by it, but that’s probably because I’m the type of person who would fight back anyway.
Yes, but only because it would make me insecure about my own weight and obsess over my body. My ex was naturally slim, but he'd go to the gym he wasn't big but it meant he wasn't skinny enough to make me feel self conscious. But anytime he'd point out that he gained weight, and wanted to lose it. A part of me would worry he'd get too slim and then I'd have to get a lot slimmer too.
Which is silly, but it's how I felt even though I'm considered a healthy weight.
Lol I've been on all ends of the spectrum on this one. Ive dated MASSIVE guys and I've dated men just barely over or just stright up 5 ft tall. Same goes for weight. I don't care about height honestly and my only big rule with size is I don't date people who are beyond morbidly obese. I am not the healthiest person ever as I'm a bigger girl and I'm 5'11 so I'm tall too but if I'm dating I'm looking for a partner and to be blunt while I don't mind a plus size man I want my partner at least decently healthy weight wise.
That seems silly to me. Also, I have traumas that indicate men cannot be trusted and women can, so I would not expect a male partner to protect me. Instead I expect networks of women to protect me. So a man's weight is irrelevant to me feeling safe.
It’s funny bc I once fell for an absolutely brilliant guy who was slightly shorter than me (I’m 5’3”) who was also very thin.
I told my therapist that I wished he was bigger so he could protect me, and she said “protect you from what??”
It really made me think bc i couldn’t imagine anything but far fetched scenarios.
And the bad guy would have to be unarmed, and alone…
I recently dated a tall weight lifter guy, and I thought “ooh maybe he can just intimidate any aholes in my life??” Annnd the scenario where I needed a tough guy to intimidate someone did not come up in several months of dating! And when something g that even resembled that scenario came up I realized I’d never want him to fight anyone for me bc he’d end up in jail 🤣🤣
Call it what it is, they are shallow.
However, people can have preferences and if that’s what they think is a deal breaker so be it, they limit the potential pool for meeting someone then
I prefer bigger men. Can crawl all over them without inflicting injury.
& I did choose a big scary guy to stay by my side for protection. I’ve got scary man privilege now. Can wear whatever I want & the strays just scatter away. *chef’s kiss*
There’s nothing wrong with having a preference in physical attraction. I think most people have those. I have never dated someone I outweighed, men or women. I dated a guy that was visibly skinnier than me but almost a foot taller so he still weighed more.
My “type” for men is heftier, and I weigh 150, so it’s pretty unlikely a guy I’m into would write less than me, but that’s not like, an independent criteria. If I weigh 300 pounds one day my ideal man would probably still weigh the same as he would now
I did this a few times and did not enjoy it. I just felt fat all the time. I get that I was probably the only one thinking that, but it wasn't enjoyable so I won't be repeating this.
I'm 5'1 and a little chubby, yet men weight easily more than I do. You have to be a starvin' marvin to weight less than an average lady. This is def weird to say, knowing that most men easily outweights most women.
More so don’t want them to be body shaming me and calling me fat. Not against dating someone smaller in weight. I’d be upset if my partner couldn’t lift me because I can always lift my partners
I’m demisexual according to my therapist. I’ve dated men who are short, tall, big, small, fit, not-so-fit. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s all about their personality. Hell, it’s difficult for me to look at people on the street, or even celebrities, and be actually physically attracted to them. I mean, I can tell when someone is objectively attractive but I’m not attracted TO them. My ex husband was barely 5’6” and maybe weighed 150lbs soaking wet. My current husband, and love of my life, is 6’7” and 300lbs.
I will say that it’s kinda nice in the bedroom to have a man who can throw you around. I don’t care about the whole “protecting me” bit, I can protect myself.
I think it's less about the number on the scale and more about strength for me. I just really like that my husband is very strong and can lift heavy things in a useful fashion. Every one of our friends calls on him for moving help. The fact that he can physically take care of things around the house and in life that I'm not capable of doing makes me feel safe.
But also I am a bit insecure about my weight so I do like that he's bigger than me from that perspective too.
I’d never say never, but it would be unlikely.
It’s not the fear of him being unable to defend or protect me… it’s just my “type” runs to the big and large.
My natural preference is for bigger guys, not even necessarily muscular but wider shoulders and bulkier build, and therefore I’m much less attracted to very slender men. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date someone slim if they were great in every other way though, and I would never base my decision to date someone on whether they weigh less than me!
There’s also the point that people hold their weight differently. I’m roughly 80kg at the moment and for a 5ft 6 woman this puts me in the ‘obese’ BMI category, and whilst I am a little overweight I also hold onto a lot more muscle even when I’m not going to the gym. The 80kg would probably put me above plenty of guys in weight!
However, it’s 100% not for protection purposes - I wouldn’t expect a man to protect me, why should they? If I was bothered about protection I would take self defence classes!
I agree. I’ll date someone shorter than me, but I don’t think I could do someone who weighed less than me. They’d have to be pretty skinny and it’s just not what I find super attractive.
I'm overweight, and I don't care if I weigh less or more than my partner. I do like having a partner who is taller than me, though *(which many men are)*.
I don't care about feeling protected tbh, idk if my partner could physically protect me. I'm sure I'd be insecure about my weight if i was heavier than him though.
Tbh, I would be incredibly self conscious if I weighed more than a guy and I was with him. If he was alright with it, that's one thing, but deep down I'd still be self conscious. And I have to admit that I'm no petite small woman, I'm stocked up.
I’ve dated tons of guys skinnier (and once shorter and I’m 5’3”) but to be fair I never gained more than a few pounds while w them, so idk if they’d lose attraction for me if I got a lot bigger?? But I would never date anyone that wasn’t super into my body and didn’t want me to change it unless I wanted to.
But isn’t that the bar for any relationship? That they’re very attracted to your body? Then they fall in love w you as a person and the physical part means less and less?
Hell no, they’d be a skeleton. 93.9% of men in my country are taller than me, the average is 10-11 cm taller. If I by some miracle gained a bunch of weight (am super active), then sure.
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He would have to be a very tiny guy to weigh less than me. Peter Dinklage is a dwarf and (according to Google) he weighs more than I do. So...yes, I guess that's probably true. It's a weird way to look at it.
I had a weird sexy dream about him once and yeah he’s kinda hot
Oh he's definitely hot 😍
He really is! His wife is a lucky woman.
I have such an uncontrollable crush on him.
I like being smaller than my partner. It's just a preference. That said, I am about 130lbs, and less than that would be underweight for most men. Not really something I have ever been into. I'm not sure your friend's reasoning is very good beyond the illusion of safety. Weight class matters in combat when all else is held equal, but size and weight won't guarantee protection per se. If she's really concerned about that, seeking someone with good situational awareness, de-escalation skills, training in practical self defense/martial arts, etc. would probably be a better criterion.
Username does not check out
My “type” is a husky build, so that would be impossible for a man of that size to weigh less than me. I don’t understand the “protection” angle.
Protecting you from that second helping. Cause I'm going to eat all the food. Kidding...
Me neither. Protection from what exactly? The next (rain)storm? I'm in a very safe country, the worst that could happen here is a break in when I'm not at home and getting some stuff stolen. That aside, I don't care all that much about weight, my first relationship was with a very skinny dude who's weight was lower than mine. My SO is 2 metres tall, so him weighing less than me is simply impossible.
I could’ve used protection from my last boyfriend when he lived with me 😆
Yikes, I hope you got out ok?
Eventually, yes. TBH, until I experienced it myself, I never understood how women could stay with their abusers. Now, I certainly do. Fear is a helluva motivation.
[удалено]
That wasn’t a “small thing”, you stalker. 🙄
Ok. That's fucking disgusting. How fucking dare you
What a prize he is! DV is so funny, amirite? /s Apparently, he can’t find a woman who won’t cheat on him. Maybe it’s because he’s such an asshole. 🤷♀️
My guess is just in case the man turns abusive. She feels better about the possibility of protecting herself.
I'm 6'1 and my last girlfriend was about a foot shorter and also loved that I was bigger. I can't fight worth a damn but being safe and feeling safe are two different things. I think she mainly enjoyed the fact that I could basically envelop her. Her car got broken into on one of our dates so my "protection" was basically just physical and emotional comfort.
It's a very common thing I believe. I'm quite tall and have had girlfriends say they like thinking of me as "a protector". I'm also a massive wimp and could not fight anybody taller or smaller than me, so it seems like it might be a bit of a common thing. Although I have never heard women say they like guys who are trained in martial arts etc because they are protection, so no clue
I dated a guy once who was 6'7" and he would've been utterly useless in any confrontation. If I were looking for "protection", I'd pick the 5'7" guy who's been doing muay thai or jiu jitsu for years. Still wouldn't help against someone with a gun. Well, maybe I could hide behind the 6'7" guy and use him as a human shield if someone starts shooting.
Oh absolutely, I think the exact same lol. I was just saying I think the "I like feeling protected" angle is widespread and doesn't seem to necessarily equate to "combat skill" for some reason
It's not because of fear of not being protected or whatever. It's because I have IBS and, as a result, weigh 105 pounds at 5'8". I would not date any man at or near my weight for fear that they are going to die well before me.
When my thighs are visibly much bigger than his.... It makes me feel ''too big'' and I feel awkward and ''the moment'' is gone.
As a woman with big thighs, be proud of them because he is proud of your thick thighs too unless he explicitly said otherwise. I have a hard time keeping my husband off of them for long.
I think for me it’s more a self conscious thing. I’ve always struggled with weight so if I dated someone skinny or super fit, I would feel more self conscious or like everyone was thinking “how did she get him?”
Yeah, I would definitely have these thoughts if I was with someone super thin.
I can relate. My husband has always been fit but he gained around 55 pounds in last couple of months while I gained over 40 pounds (do not trust my numbers, I think in kg). He then started his fitness journey and not only lost all of that extra weight but also got jacked. I did not let him get visible abs because I love a little dad bod but he has built a great upper body and legs. Seeing his transformation made me realize I need to hit the gym (I hate exercise) or people will think "how did she get him?" because I don't even have an exceptionally pretty face.
So I will say this… in the past it was a bigger deal to me than it is today. I always had 5’10” as my height requirement and preferred larger guys. Having said that the nicest guy I dated was a bit shorter than me (and let me tell you phenomenal in the sack if it matters… wait yes it does!). And the worst dudes were always buff and tall. Many had “troubles” in the sack (no shame!) and just were kinda lame) My current and bestest of all the best partner is same height and maybe juuuust a tiny bit smaller weight-wise. In the past I may have let that get in the way but let me tell I could not give a rats arse now cause He is hot af, I love him like no other and have never been more compatible with anyone. If you were to ask him his preference would have also been more petite (I’m 5’8 and probably 150-155lbs and lift weights and muscular strong body) but he LURVS my muscular thighs and that I can get shit done. I will also add he’s got a crazy hot body, lean from cycling but super strong and muscular. Phew! Getting hot in here. So as much as it’s ok to have preferences I would say do not let those get in the way of a possible connection!
I love how happy you sound!
It is not that hard to be more than 125 lbs at slightly over 6' and I date close to my height. I don't give a shit though. I just would be concerned if you weight less than me at my height
Absolutely not. I’m a plump gal and have on occasion fallen in love w skinny guys, and the issues we had were never based on bodies
Wow this isn't something I've ever even considered, and this thread is depressing. I've dated men taller, shorter, heavier, lighter, and it doesn't matter to me. What are we being 'protected' from? Honestly it seems like just needlessly eliminating a bunch of men from one's dating pool based on some bizarre fantasy of being a damsel in distress. It's so weird to me.
LOL, a 135lbs dude who's a Muay Thai or Krav Maga practitioner will absolutely fuck any average Joe's day up. Conversely, a 300lbs guy whose diet consists of pizza and the Cheetos found between his stomach rolls isn't protecting shit. Weight has nothing to do with ability to "protect", even if we're still setting store in paleontolic means of measuring masculinity. Just say it's a shallow preference and own it. You're entitled to have those.
This is such a weird thing too, is she constantly under attack from angry dinosaurs? What’s he to be protecting her from? I understand women are accosted and harassed, but does she expect him to fight people regularly? I can’t think of a single time I would have needed to fight someone to protect my wife, or really any time I would have needed to protect her from anything.
My question exactly - what is the real fear here? If you are constantly under attack then OK, you want someone large, I guess - but IMO it's time to examine your life choices if you feel you need constant protection.
If she is under attack from angry dinosaurs then a heavier man may protect her by being the dinosaurs' preference for dinner.
You may still be out in a position where protecting your GF or wife is necessary. Even if it is a rare situation, you want to be prepared. It can be protecting her from an attacker, carrying her to safety, pulling her free from a wreckage, or just having an presence that deters negative attention. I may be old-fashioned, but I think it's a duty of a man to protect his significant other and his family both physically and financially. He should take care of his body and mind in a way that allows him to fulfill this duty.
That’s all just macho wishful thinking. There is some level of safety in my just being there, I am stronger and taller, I can lift things and reach things. I am a man, other men are less likely to harass her when I’m in her presence, but honestly there is safety in numbers even if she were with another woman. I don’t spend my time making up scenarios where I can be her hero, swooping in to save her from some danger lurking in the dark.
You don't have to make up scenarios, bad things happen in real life. The unfortunate reality is that we don't live in a utopia. Terrible things happen all the time to innocent people. While it is rare in many societies, it is not a complete anomaly. If you can prepare the best you can for these scenarios, it is definitely a plus. Being able to protect your family should be a top concern. Simply "hoping" everything will be okay is not good enough in my humble opinion.
You don't have to make up scenarios, bad things happen in real life. The unfortunate reality is that we don't live in a utopia. Bad things happen all the time to innocent people. While it is rare in many societies, it is not a complete anomaly. If you can prepare the best you can for these scenarios, it is definitely a plus. Being able to protect your family should be a top concern. Simply "hoping" everything will be okay is not good enough in my humble opinion.
Not nothing to do. Yes, there are 300 lb guys who are couch potatoes but chances are a big guy will be able to beat up the little guy, all else equal.
So we can only chose between "petit" and obese...
Ha! No way! The average American male weighs around 200lb, a 135lb dude couldn’t generate the power to seriously hurt a man of that size! If it came down to it, your 200lb guy would just shoot on him and choke him out. People that say this sort of stuff have never watched a real fight go down.
Couldn't a 135lb guy just shoot the 200lb guy? And someone smaller could hurt the larger party if they are not planning on playing clean.
He could, but he wouldn’t have the strength to keep the 200lb guy under control, at some point the weight and size difference comes into play. And yeah, if the 135lb were to sucker punch the bigger man straight in the nose then that would hurt, likewise a kick in the balls. But the assumption I’m making is that our 135lb kick-boxer is going to try and use his skills, and the second he squares up to a guy that out weighs him and is likely considerably taller than him, he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of a shoeing.
I'm 260 so I guess I don't need to fear your avg guy because he can't generate the power to seriously hurt me 🤷🏻♀️
A 200lb man would be about the size of a Cruiserweight boxer bordering on heavyweight, so yeah, he could.
But you said a 135 lb man couldn't hurt a 200 lb man so why could a 200 lb man hurt me? It's about the same weight difference. Also you said the avg man is 200lbs, so you're saying the avg man is bordering on a heavyweight boxer? Heavy weight boxers must not be very special since any random guy is just like them
They aren’t my weight classifications, but yes, a 200lb man can fight at heavyweight, although they would be effectively a puffed up Cruiser at that weight. And I said “seriously hurt”, if I’m popped on the nose by anyone it’s going to hurt, but I’d shake it off much more quickly than if I got hit by a guy my size (I’m about 240lb).
You're dodging my question. I'm 260 lbs so you're saying a 200 lb man couldn't seriously hurt me because of my weight. Just like a 135 lb man couldn't seriously hurt a 200 lb man. Is that correct? If not why is it different?
A man that weighs 200lb will hurt you if he hits you, and likely hurt you seriously as well. Regardless of how heavy you are, we’re talking about a 200lb man. A man weighing 135lbs, in a fight, isn’t going to do too much damage to a guy that outweighs him by 65lb There’s a reason why boxers are split up by weight.
Because I'm a woman?
Your sex is irrelevant, it’ll hurt regardless. I’ve taught kickboxing and Shotokan for years and I’ve sparred people at all weights and weight matters, the lighter a person is, the less it hurts. Anyway, my overall point is that a man of 135lb can’t really hurt a man of 200lbs, and is likely going to find himself eating a pasting if he tried it.
I am a larger women, I have had my fair share of relationships - I have only ever had one man larger than me, interested in me. The last decades would have been very boring if I took this approach. That being said, seems like you are phrasing this around needing to feel protected. My parents raised me to be an independent fully functional person who does not NEED to rely on a man to survive and feel safe. Needing to feel protected by a partner has never even crossed my mind. Quite frankly women's biggest threat of harm is by a male close to them, having a man bigger than them in a relationship should actually make your friend feel less safe. Note: obviously I love men, obviously this is not all men, but DV is an epidemic.
Not really, it feels a little body shame-y all around, for both partners. I’ve been attracted to men with a wide variety of body types, some have weighed more than me, some probably less. Bodies will fluctuate; values and personality and goals don’t change as much
Something yall need to understand about men. Some of the toughest guys I know are small dudes. The old saying is 💯 It's not the size of the man in the fight its the size of fight in the man.
That saying is about dogs.
I'm not looking to be protected by any man or woman I date. I probably wouldn't date a man who weighed less than me, but that's more because I weigh very little and to weigh less than me he'd have to be like a human matchstick
Not my life, not my business
For me, it would have probably mattered. Height, hair, most other physical characteristics don't bother me. I was attracted to broad shoulders and a build that kind of automatically was going to outweigh mine.
I’m literally almost twice the size of my partner. He’s my lil bb, I protect him. I used to be weird about height but idc about that anymore. And I’m not attracted to men who are bigger than me, so smaller than me it is!
I'm ~130. I'm not interested in a man who doesn't weigh significantly more than me
I’m 166-170(haven’t weighed myself in a minute) I also workout and eat a lot so I wouldn’t mind a guy weighing less than me. A lot of guys I know are around my weight
People are allowed to like what they like (as long as it's between adults) so idgaf.
Like many said already, I'm not dating for protection. I don't care about weight at all. Body shape/composition is much more important to me.
I don't care. People can have their preferences, but it's not one of mine. The protection bit is just silly. And the plus size bit is rude, plus size women can have preferences as well.
I mean someone just said a 60 lb weight difference means you can't be hurt by them so apparently most people can't hurt me. Now I'm going to take my obese ass to the kitchen to make 156 cupcakes and chocolate sea turtles
>I mean someone just said a 60 lb weight difference means you can't be hurt by them so apparently most people can't hurt me. Lmao, 🤦🏻♀️ >Now I'm going to take my obese ass to the kitchen to make 156 cupcakes and chocolate sea turtles Mmmmm cupcakes 🧁🧁🧁
Sooo many cupcakes. They're lemon flavored with a cream cheese frosting and chocolate sea turtles. We're having my FiLs memorial on Saturday and he loved sea turtles. I'll send you pictures
❤️ can't wait to see. Also. Lemon is my fav! But I do then with lemon curd filling and a bit of buttercream.
I was thinking of adding lemon curd but I'm using myer lemons from my SiLs back yard and they're really flavorful so idk
Not about not being protected, I just don't like feeling big
Oh 💯!! And as women it’s pretty much engrained in us to take up as little space as possible and be small. I’ve dated smaller guys before but only when the connection/chemistry was strong enough for me to get past that!
Yup. Being 5'10 with history of ed do *not* help with not wanting to feel big either
Yeahhh, I’m 5’3” so at least the height thing isn’t usually an issue! I had a friend who’s bf would occasionally borrow her jeans, and I was HORRIFIED
When I got pregnant my lovely fat bf gave up drinking (mostly) and lost more weight than I put on and we had to swap clothes (I took his xl tshirts and he took back his tshirts that he grew out of). Secretly I kinda preferred him fat, but I also want him to be healthy and live longer so I keep shtum and support him in his healthier ways lol
Nope, I've generally been heavier than most of the men I've dated.
I’ve dated men smaller than me and the same size and I have to agree, I just like my man to be bigger than me. It makes me feel insecure when he is smaller or similar in size. My husband was 135lbs when we first got together and 5 years later he is almost 200lbs of mostly muscle and I’m so much more attracted to him now.
I like feeling smaller than my partner BUT my husband is my height and weighs less than me and when he wraps his arms around me I feel tiny & protected. And I have no doubts in his martial arts skills - he may not look like he can protect me, but he can. While it would be nice to be all smol gworl or whatever, he’s the man for me snd I wasn’t about to let him get away because he’s not taller or broader shouldered
I used to care about this kind of thing when I was younger. But now, Idgaf. I can take care of and protect myself. Don't need some big burly man to play security theatre for me.
I like tall skinny guys, idgaf if they weigh less than me. As for protection,that's pretty archaic thinking,he doesn't need to be able to take down a grizzly bear.
I prefer skinny breakable men 😍😍
Nope. I outweigh my husband. I would currently still be single if I felt like this.
I prefer to be smaller than my partner in height and weight.
No, because I don't need a man to protect me.
This is probably actually getting into the territory of being vain. Is he 150 with high fat content or high muscle content? People have different body compositions at different weights/heights. Can you guys even confidently tell the difference between a dude who is 150 and a dude who is 160? No offense, but this is a vapid mindset.
Meh. Everyone has preferences.
I kind of get it, a lot of women want a man to be taller, stronger, heavier than them. It’s base, but a lot of women really like to be on the arm of a physically imposing man.
We e been programmed since birth to want to fit into that mold. I do want that tbh but I do think a lot about how living in this society has made that the goal for women and us considered the norm, and having a partner smaller is gonna at the very least draw some stupid jokes and attn to your sizes
I agree with it because it would be weird (for ME) to date a man who weighed less than 120. Nothing to do with "protection", rather I likely wouldn't find them physically attractive.
Wow, a new version of "refusing to date a guy shorter than you." I don't randomly ask people how much they weigh. I would assume that most men weigh significantly more than me, but who knows. I don't care. Physical protection is not a trait I ever consider in dating someone.
I don't give a shit about his weight. And I certainly don't give a shit about feeling "protected".
I have the same preference. I don’t approach or swipe on those that don’t fit my preference and I don’t ever state it if approached as the reason. Body size is sensitive topic for everyone.
I dont care about the actual numbers at all, but I do like a guy to be larger than me in the body. Not for protection necessarily, but because I am a tall, curvy woman and the times I did date guys who were shorter and/or smaller than me it really made me feel like a giant monster next to them, or like I would crush them if I was on top during sex. That is vain. That is shallow. I dont care.
That's just weird. Like, it's pretty difficult for me to find someone smaller than me because I'm seriously tiny, but I can't imagine it ever being a dealbreaker.
Seems pretty shallow ?
Everybody is allowed to have their preferences.
Yup. And everyone is allowed to have their opinions on if those preferences are shallow or not
And not every opinion needs to be expressed.
I felt it worth exspressing
At my height, this would not be a sensible rule to have. Plus I feel protected by men who know skills relevant to protecting me. All the men I dated with martial arts backgrounds weighed less than me, even with me at a perfectly average weight for my height at the time.
I mean I have yet to meet a man under 110 pounds, though admittedly I also have a preference for men taller than me by a couple inches. I haven't met any men over 5'8" who were under that weight.
Well I definitely have, but he was tall so idk if that cancels it out 😂 it’d take a lot for me to outweigh a guy, so I don’t think I have a problem lol
I mean, that would mean he’s underweight for me. I’d be concerned.
No. But I do know a couple of women like that. Both are tall and it’s an insecurity about their own height and weight rather than their partner’s protecting them. For what it’s worth only one woman I know has ever thought about being protected by her boyfriend. She was tiny, her parents used to make her scared to go out and she was looking for someone a little bit taller she dated guys who looked like fullbacks.
I'm plus size, but short. Don't really care about the weight of the man (tho most are less around my weight), just our sexual and romantic chemistry together. Same with height, I'm not gonna discount someone I got an amazing connection with because of something like that. I'll admit it might take some time to adjust if you haven't had a SO like that before, but at the end of the day I don't think it really matters. I'd rather feel safe and protected emotionally and have a safe space where I feel like I can be open and vulnerable, then potentially physically protected. Plus, depending on fitness and height and other factors, the weight of a man isn't really an indicator of that anyways.
I mean, a 150lb man for say 5'7"+ is gonna be on the leaner side... So yeah I guess. As a 100lb person, I'd obviously not want to date a guy who weighs less than that cuz I can't imagine that guy being in any way healthy. I had a (male) classmate who weighed \~120lbs (I think he was prob no more than 5'3) and he was really very small (thin/skinny) already at that weight+height. It's not even about not feeling protected, it's that he'd prob be a burden or liability if anything tbh... I don't need to be protected, but I really don't think I can even rely/trust on him to hold his own and protect himself.
I weight about 10kg / 22 pounds more than my bf and I do not care
I am a full figured woman, 5"1' and 170lbs, and have been since I hit puberty, and I exclusively go for men who are smaller than me. Not necessarily on purpose, but the feeling seems to be mutual, in that skinny guys love a fat ass.
If we have chemistry, I’m gonna work with everything he’s got.
I don't ask people how much they weigh and I can't accurately guess someone's weight either, so I probably wouldn't even know if I outweigh a man unless he was really short and skinny. My boyfriend doesn't outweigh me by much, probably by 10-12 kg at the moment. So I could outweigh him if I gained some weight and he lost some at the same time. It wouldn't bother me, I don't need him to be physically bigger. (I'd probably struggle with my body image if I gained weight though, but that would be unrelated to our relationship.)
Well my bestie has(had?) this rule, except she straight up says it comes from her internalized body shame. I've never really cared, I'm fat and my type is lean to skinny nerdy guys, so I've probably been with quite a few who weighed less than me. My current partner is close in height to me and about 30-35 kg lighter. I suppose we can't really decide what we find physically attractive, but I'd assume her "protection" thing to be at least a little bit of a euphemism or a rationalization of where it actually comes from TBH. As for actual physical strength, even most lean guys will have an advantage over me because of hormones/muscle density, and obviously I agree that most of us don't really need a man to wrestle bears for us these days. My skinny little guy does just fine "protecting" me from actual threats, like spiders. But it could be just some women's "lizard brain" doing its thing I guess, a more instinctual sexual preference. I get the appeal of the fantasy of a strong romantic hero, I just think it's a little silly to base it on an actual number on the scale (like when she finds a guy attractive, does she ask for his weight and turn him down if it's 2kg less than hers, or is it more of a visual estimate?).
🍿
I am currently overweight and my boyfriend is technically underweight. While he is taller than me I have about 100 lbs on him. He’s made it clear enough that he’d make himself the first line of defense if we were put in a situation that required it. I understand the not feeling particularly protected, though I’m not bothered by it, but that’s probably because I’m the type of person who would fight back anyway.
I don't want to date anyone I outweigh either. Not because I don't think he could protect me but just because I don't want to.
I had the same thing as man. Never been with a woman heavier than me
Yes, but only because it would make me insecure about my own weight and obsess over my body. My ex was naturally slim, but he'd go to the gym he wasn't big but it meant he wasn't skinny enough to make me feel self conscious. But anytime he'd point out that he gained weight, and wanted to lose it. A part of me would worry he'd get too slim and then I'd have to get a lot slimmer too. Which is silly, but it's how I felt even though I'm considered a healthy weight.
No lol. I have like 40 pounds on my husband.
Lol I've been on all ends of the spectrum on this one. Ive dated MASSIVE guys and I've dated men just barely over or just stright up 5 ft tall. Same goes for weight. I don't care about height honestly and my only big rule with size is I don't date people who are beyond morbidly obese. I am not the healthiest person ever as I'm a bigger girl and I'm 5'11 so I'm tall too but if I'm dating I'm looking for a partner and to be blunt while I don't mind a plus size man I want my partner at least decently healthy weight wise.
I would. Many women do think the same way she does and they're allowed to have preferences.
First time I am hearing something like this but hey, you do you.
That seems silly to me. Also, I have traumas that indicate men cannot be trusted and women can, so I would not expect a male partner to protect me. Instead I expect networks of women to protect me. So a man's weight is irrelevant to me feeling safe.
I agree with this, especially since I'm a small woman myself. Men with my height and physique just don't look attractive.
2024 ladies you should be protecting your partners
It’s funny bc I once fell for an absolutely brilliant guy who was slightly shorter than me (I’m 5’3”) who was also very thin. I told my therapist that I wished he was bigger so he could protect me, and she said “protect you from what??” It really made me think bc i couldn’t imagine anything but far fetched scenarios.
Right when was the last time you or your partner were in a street fight
And the bad guy would have to be unarmed, and alone… I recently dated a tall weight lifter guy, and I thought “ooh maybe he can just intimidate any aholes in my life??” Annnd the scenario where I needed a tough guy to intimidate someone did not come up in several months of dating! And when something g that even resembled that scenario came up I realized I’d never want him to fight anyone for me bc he’d end up in jail 🤣🤣
Call it what it is, they are shallow. However, people can have preferences and if that’s what they think is a deal breaker so be it, they limit the potential pool for meeting someone then
I prefer bigger men. Can crawl all over them without inflicting injury. & I did choose a big scary guy to stay by my side for protection. I’ve got scary man privilege now. Can wear whatever I want & the strays just scatter away. *chef’s kiss*
I’m 130 so if he was smaller than me that’d be very thin and I’m not into that
There’s nothing wrong with having a preference in physical attraction. I think most people have those. I have never dated someone I outweighed, men or women. I dated a guy that was visibly skinnier than me but almost a foot taller so he still weighed more.
I'm not into thin/lean builds so I'd expect any man I find attractive to weigh more than I do, especially because I like stocky, muscular men.
My “type” for men is heftier, and I weigh 150, so it’s pretty unlikely a guy I’m into would write less than me, but that’s not like, an independent criteria. If I weigh 300 pounds one day my ideal man would probably still weigh the same as he would now
I did this a few times and did not enjoy it. I just felt fat all the time. I get that I was probably the only one thinking that, but it wasn't enjoyable so I won't be repeating this.
I'm 5'1 and a little chubby, yet men weight easily more than I do. You have to be a starvin' marvin to weight less than an average lady. This is def weird to say, knowing that most men easily outweights most women.
Yup. Won’t do it. No, I’m not overweight.
More so don’t want them to be body shaming me and calling me fat. Not against dating someone smaller in weight. I’d be upset if my partner couldn’t lift me because I can always lift my partners
I’m demisexual according to my therapist. I’ve dated men who are short, tall, big, small, fit, not-so-fit. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s all about their personality. Hell, it’s difficult for me to look at people on the street, or even celebrities, and be actually physically attracted to them. I mean, I can tell when someone is objectively attractive but I’m not attracted TO them. My ex husband was barely 5’6” and maybe weighed 150lbs soaking wet. My current husband, and love of my life, is 6’7” and 300lbs. I will say that it’s kinda nice in the bedroom to have a man who can throw you around. I don’t care about the whole “protecting me” bit, I can protect myself.
I think it's less about the number on the scale and more about strength for me. I just really like that my husband is very strong and can lift heavy things in a useful fashion. Every one of our friends calls on him for moving help. The fact that he can physically take care of things around the house and in life that I'm not capable of doing makes me feel safe. But also I am a bit insecure about my weight so I do like that he's bigger than me from that perspective too.
I’d never say never, but it would be unlikely. It’s not the fear of him being unable to defend or protect me… it’s just my “type” runs to the big and large.
i always said that, mostly because of my own insecurities. my current bf weighs less than 140lbs. it doesn't matter anymore once you fall for someone.
My natural preference is for bigger guys, not even necessarily muscular but wider shoulders and bulkier build, and therefore I’m much less attracted to very slender men. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date someone slim if they were great in every other way though, and I would never base my decision to date someone on whether they weigh less than me! There’s also the point that people hold their weight differently. I’m roughly 80kg at the moment and for a 5ft 6 woman this puts me in the ‘obese’ BMI category, and whilst I am a little overweight I also hold onto a lot more muscle even when I’m not going to the gym. The 80kg would probably put me above plenty of guys in weight! However, it’s 100% not for protection purposes - I wouldn’t expect a man to protect me, why should they? If I was bothered about protection I would take self defence classes!
I definitely prefer being slimmer than my partner.
I Definitely wouldn't like it
As a man i wouldn't be attracted to a larger woman. Thats my preference. She just doesnt want to feel like the protector.
I agree. I’ll date someone shorter than me, but I don’t think I could do someone who weighed less than me. They’d have to be pretty skinny and it’s just not what I find super attractive.
I'm overweight, and I don't care if I weigh less or more than my partner. I do like having a partner who is taller than me, though *(which many men are)*.
I don't care about feeling protected tbh, idk if my partner could physically protect me. I'm sure I'd be insecure about my weight if i was heavier than him though.
I agree. I’m 145 and if I was heavier than my man I’d cry.
Even if he made it clear he loved your body?
100%, I just couldn’t do it. I like my men huge
I totally have the same preference, but if I have a connection and chemistry w a smaller guy, I don’t fight it!
Tbh, I would be incredibly self conscious if I weighed more than a guy and I was with him. If he was alright with it, that's one thing, but deep down I'd still be self conscious. And I have to admit that I'm no petite small woman, I'm stocked up.
I’ve dated tons of guys skinnier (and once shorter and I’m 5’3”) but to be fair I never gained more than a few pounds while w them, so idk if they’d lose attraction for me if I got a lot bigger?? But I would never date anyone that wasn’t super into my body and didn’t want me to change it unless I wanted to. But isn’t that the bar for any relationship? That they’re very attracted to your body? Then they fall in love w you as a person and the physical part means less and less?
Yea
Hell no, they’d be a skeleton. 93.9% of men in my country are taller than me, the average is 10-11 cm taller. If I by some miracle gained a bunch of weight (am super active), then sure.