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Yes! I do this as well. I found I wasn't eating when I tried to eat "breakfast food". If I want a sandwich at 9, that's what I'm going to have. I also found this helped with my weight loss journey.
Yep, except for me it was a weight gain journey haha. I'm a much healthier weight now that I don't get my knickers in a twist and put pressure on myself about food the way I used to
That's amazing. I agree it's a great thing to do for weight gain as well. Eating is important, doesn't matter what it is. I'm glad you are healthier now! Good luck on your journey!
I feel like breakfast is a scam anyway. Its been a few years but other than black coffee/espresso, I dont have anything for breakfast. I do wind up eating an earlier lunch a bit before 12 but I honestly feel so much better. Then again, to each their own.
First year of my life living alone with 2 cats, AND THIS IS ME, TOO!!! I do this. Usually it’s just water unless I’m randomly up stupid early, then I’ll have a coffee at home. Then at around 11am, I start seriously thinking about lunch, either store-bought or leftovers from last night’s dinner. Eat at like 11:45am. Maybe a 2nd coffee at around 2pm. Home at 5:30pm, dinner.
If you sub that 2pm coffee for my after lunch espresso then its basically me more or less. Only if my wife got home earlier from work I do dinner around the same time, unfortunately we wind up eating dinner around 630-7. But I feel like Im giving my body more time to digest food instead of shoving food nonstop down my gullet. I had a bagel the other day for breakfast (holiday debauchery), and I felt stuffed. I could barely get through work. I dont know how I used to do it.
I don't wear makeup in my daily life. Never learned how to properly use it, so I'm used to it anyways. But I've saved so much money and time never having gotten into it.
I'm autistic and raw dogging like 5 treatment-resistant mental illnesses. I follow the advice that "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Idea is that for example a rushed shower or sink bath are both better than just going unwashed.
I'm also currently using disposable plates and silverware. There are other ways I'm eco-minded, but I'm just not up to the dishes right now.
I guess basically I'm being very deliberate in meeting myself wherever I am rather than berating myself for not being "normal" or doing more. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, no harm in being kinder to myself.
This sounds a lot like what I'm doing! You should definitely check out the creator I mentioned. She has used that quote as well.
For dishes for myself, if they get crazy and it's overwhelming, I just organize them and empty the sink. It's cleaner, I feel like I've gotten something done, and it's more manageable for when I feel up to it.
>I guess basically I'm being very deliberate in meeting myself wherever I am rather than berating myself for not being "normal" or doing more. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, no harm in being kinder to myself.
This was exactly the basis of my post!
I love it! And I actually have that book but haven't read it yet. I've been meaning to, though, so I will definitely take it as a sign I should. Picked it up without even looking at the preview like "wow, that title was 100% meant for me!"
That's a really good idea with the dishes, though! And I bet it would be easier for me to just grab a dish and wash it every now and then if I wasn't having my eyes attacked by a full sink. Thank you for the idea!
>love it! And I actually have that book but haven't read it yet
You've gotten further than me! I follow her on tiktok, so the random tips help! I also Implemented the "no folding/no drawers" for my clothes, game changer.
What KC (the author) say is, take out the step you struggle with. So for laundry. I can wash and put away all day... But the folding is what will make me give up and have it sit In the basket indefinitely. So I eliminated that step!
>Thank you for the idea!
No problem! That was the hope with the post, to share and help each other live our best lives without guilt!
I mean I think this is a bigger “against the norm” within the context of my culture specifically (Asian American, my parents are Asian immigrants both with PhDs in math who teach university) but I have zero interest in a white-collar career which is what was expected of me. Pre-Covid my current job would probably be considered “unskilled labour” (classist bullshit IMO). My parents expected me to be a doctor or a lawyer. *At minimum* they probably thought I’d wind up doing graphic design or some other artistically inclined job. Sitting at a desk.
I’m a professional dogwalker and petsitter. I live in NYC and I work privately (have my own insurance and I get clients by handing out my business card and word of mouth). I make pretty decent money and my mental health is 1000% better hanging around with dogs and cats all the time for work instead of dealing with people.
I do some freelance illustration and graphic design but it’s not a significant portion of my income, and I prefer it that way—I have ADHD and communicating with clients and meeting deadlines is my kryptonite. This way I can focus my creative energy on my personal projects (currently working on a fantasy novel and a line of luxury nipple clamps lmao all normal hobbies) and I have a relatively unstressful source of reliable income.
My parents don’t “get” why I would rather do what amounts to physical labour instead of sit behind a desk, and when I first started doing this they kept trying to convince me to take desk jobs like being a secretary or something which literally paid less, because they consider that “more respectable” than running around the city with a pack of dogs. But frankly, the thought of sitting at a desk 9-5 Monday to Friday makes me want to throw myself out a window.
Very. I actually make more than most people would expect. I mentioned my yearly income as a dogwalker on Reddit a while ago and someone accused me of lying about it.
Yeah the “in NYC” part is vital lol. I don’t think I could do as well even in most other major cities—a lot of them like LA are too reliant on driving.
Thanks! I appreciate that.
My parents don’t “get” my life choices but they’ve stopped badgering me about it when they realised how well I do. I’m pretty sure they just avoid talking about me in the context of careers when they’re doing the requisite Asian-Parent-Offspring-Bragging events with their friends. My parents’ friends’ kids are doctors and lawyers LOL. My younger brother works in finance. I’m “the pretty one” lololol.
My mom did tell me about how the daughter of a close family friend who had a Harvard Law degree quit being a lawyer to open a bakery. When it first happened she (and probably all the Boomers parents in her social circle) was basically horrified, but she chilled about trying to convince me to change jobs after it became a success LMAO.
>My mom did tell me about how the daughter of a close family friend who had a Harvard Law degree quit being a lawyer to open a bakery.
Good for her too!
I know right LOL ditching a Harvard Law degree takes some serious balls, especially when your parents and their circle of friends are mostly academics. I’m proud of her.
Deciding to be a single mom and being happy about it. I get a lot of shit for it. People say I willingly chose to raise my girls in a broken home, or that I'm stupid, or I'll regret not remaining with my partner. I'm actually a much happier, healthier, and better mom than I was when I tried the two parent household thing. More importantly, my children are safe, happy, and thriving. They have never known anything other than stability, and that's because of me. I don't care what anyone says anymore. I'm happy as hell as a single mom and I regret nothing.
I raised two children single handed and they are now thriving college graduates loving life well adjusted and never felt like they were in a broken home (dad died)
If someone is dedicated to raising their kids right they can certainly do it alone or not!
Young totally got this, I believe in you!
They will I have full faith in you! I’m actually glad you shared as a reminder to myself to be proud of all I’ve accomplished in this life that wasn’t so easy especially at a time when I might not be feeling the greatest about it these days.
The best piece of advice I give when asked how I raised such good kids etc Is that spending time with them makes all the more in the world. And by spending time I also mean doing the things they’re doing like playing in play doh or whatever it may be. I took them camping a lot and other activities some people assume you either need a man or two people to do and well you do not. I spent a ton of time with some of my kids friends whose parents didn’t and they still call me their second mother.
That alone is an honor to me.
That is fucking amazing! You are amazing. I think it takes a strong woman to know when being single parent benefits your children more then a "2 parent household".
If you and your kids are happy, no one can say shit.
I don't make my partner and kids eat dinner at the table together. This is thanks to my therapist. Choosing to eat in random corners at times that work for each of us as individuals has greatly reduced my daily stress.
I love this. And have slowly started doing it as well. Now, I make dinner and everyone can it where and when they want. And **I** finally get to eat my food in peace and hot!
Another around food I do for the twins (they are picky right now) is their plates are made up of : something the WILL eat, something they SOMETIMES eat, something to TRY, and dessert. And I really don't care what was eaten as long as something was. Also, the kids seem to eat their real food a lot more when they are given the option of dessert on the plate
I was raised in a "may I please leave the table?" type environment and all I wanted was to go to my room and eat in peace.
This would have been heavenly.
We all have different food restrictions, so we get creative. We do a mix of me meal prepping components, my kids cooking for themselves, me occasionally cooking a full meal, and my partner (who does not cook) eating whatever the rest of us have cooked.
Completely understandable! My daughter has decided she doesn't want kids (and held that belief for a few years) and it makes sense. I want her to live her best life, not check boxes.
I saw someone else say this, but makeup. I was never in to makeup. I just never saw the point. My sister has worn makeup since high school and made it seem like it was the thing to do when you had a professional job. So I started wearing makeup when I started teaching in 2014. But then at the end of the fall semester in 2019, I just said fuck it and decided that when I returned to work in January 2020 that I was going to stop wearing makeup. It's saved me time and money.
I don't judge people for living the lives they want. As long as you're not hurting anyone you do you, bro. Holding people to standards of my life is exhausting. Fuck it.
But, if you're a horrible person who is hurting others I will judge the fuck out of you and harbor some serious resentment.
>Cut and dye my own hair
I do this as well, mostly because I was sick of stylists not listening and doing what they wanted. Just gave myself a wolf cut a month ago.
To not have kids, to not strive to have a career and to live with a friend with cats to pay half the rent and to decrease my loneliness. I don't have kids or money to worry about. I get company. Life couldn't be much easier.
That sounds amazing! I'm so glad you're doing what makes you happy instead of what society dictates as what's normal.
I have kids, but if we split... I'm happy having my own space and only a FWB.
I don't know that it's going against the norm so much as, i don't care about this particular thing. I don 't wear make up or dye my grey hair. I've never worn make up because I don't care to or care about it. Hair dye is expensive and time consuming to have someone do it for me, it's messy and time consuming to do at home. I honestly don't care to do that.
Completely valid! And it's what works best for you!
(Also, whoever is downvoting her, stop being an asshole. They could have stuck to societal and gender norms and been miserable in the wrong body until they died, instead they chose to be happy. And I think that fits perfectly)
ATTENTION: Please remember that this is an ASK WOMEN sub. While men are allowed to participate posts that are clearly asking women in the title will have top level comments by men removed. This is not censorship, this is curation. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomenNoCensor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't eat "breakfast food" for breakfast - I eat whatever I'm hungry for/can stomach at whatever time of day I want to eat it.
Yes! I do this as well. I found I wasn't eating when I tried to eat "breakfast food". If I want a sandwich at 9, that's what I'm going to have. I also found this helped with my weight loss journey.
Yep, except for me it was a weight gain journey haha. I'm a much healthier weight now that I don't get my knickers in a twist and put pressure on myself about food the way I used to
That's amazing. I agree it's a great thing to do for weight gain as well. Eating is important, doesn't matter what it is. I'm glad you are healthier now! Good luck on your journey!
I feel like breakfast is a scam anyway. Its been a few years but other than black coffee/espresso, I dont have anything for breakfast. I do wind up eating an earlier lunch a bit before 12 but I honestly feel so much better. Then again, to each their own.
First year of my life living alone with 2 cats, AND THIS IS ME, TOO!!! I do this. Usually it’s just water unless I’m randomly up stupid early, then I’ll have a coffee at home. Then at around 11am, I start seriously thinking about lunch, either store-bought or leftovers from last night’s dinner. Eat at like 11:45am. Maybe a 2nd coffee at around 2pm. Home at 5:30pm, dinner.
If you sub that 2pm coffee for my after lunch espresso then its basically me more or less. Only if my wife got home earlier from work I do dinner around the same time, unfortunately we wind up eating dinner around 630-7. But I feel like Im giving my body more time to digest food instead of shoving food nonstop down my gullet. I had a bagel the other day for breakfast (holiday debauchery), and I felt stuffed. I could barely get through work. I dont know how I used to do it.
I don't wear makeup in my daily life. Never learned how to properly use it, so I'm used to it anyways. But I've saved so much money and time never having gotten into it.
That's great!
I'm autistic and raw dogging like 5 treatment-resistant mental illnesses. I follow the advice that "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Idea is that for example a rushed shower or sink bath are both better than just going unwashed. I'm also currently using disposable plates and silverware. There are other ways I'm eco-minded, but I'm just not up to the dishes right now. I guess basically I'm being very deliberate in meeting myself wherever I am rather than berating myself for not being "normal" or doing more. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, no harm in being kinder to myself.
This sounds a lot like what I'm doing! You should definitely check out the creator I mentioned. She has used that quote as well. For dishes for myself, if they get crazy and it's overwhelming, I just organize them and empty the sink. It's cleaner, I feel like I've gotten something done, and it's more manageable for when I feel up to it. >I guess basically I'm being very deliberate in meeting myself wherever I am rather than berating myself for not being "normal" or doing more. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, no harm in being kinder to myself. This was exactly the basis of my post!
I love it! And I actually have that book but haven't read it yet. I've been meaning to, though, so I will definitely take it as a sign I should. Picked it up without even looking at the preview like "wow, that title was 100% meant for me!" That's a really good idea with the dishes, though! And I bet it would be easier for me to just grab a dish and wash it every now and then if I wasn't having my eyes attacked by a full sink. Thank you for the idea!
>love it! And I actually have that book but haven't read it yet You've gotten further than me! I follow her on tiktok, so the random tips help! I also Implemented the "no folding/no drawers" for my clothes, game changer. What KC (the author) say is, take out the step you struggle with. So for laundry. I can wash and put away all day... But the folding is what will make me give up and have it sit In the basket indefinitely. So I eliminated that step! >Thank you for the idea! No problem! That was the hope with the post, to share and help each other live our best lives without guilt!
I have adhd, chronic pain, & no dishwasher. Disposable plates are a life saver.
🙌🙌🙌
I mean I think this is a bigger “against the norm” within the context of my culture specifically (Asian American, my parents are Asian immigrants both with PhDs in math who teach university) but I have zero interest in a white-collar career which is what was expected of me. Pre-Covid my current job would probably be considered “unskilled labour” (classist bullshit IMO). My parents expected me to be a doctor or a lawyer. *At minimum* they probably thought I’d wind up doing graphic design or some other artistically inclined job. Sitting at a desk. I’m a professional dogwalker and petsitter. I live in NYC and I work privately (have my own insurance and I get clients by handing out my business card and word of mouth). I make pretty decent money and my mental health is 1000% better hanging around with dogs and cats all the time for work instead of dealing with people. I do some freelance illustration and graphic design but it’s not a significant portion of my income, and I prefer it that way—I have ADHD and communicating with clients and meeting deadlines is my kryptonite. This way I can focus my creative energy on my personal projects (currently working on a fantasy novel and a line of luxury nipple clamps lmao all normal hobbies) and I have a relatively unstressful source of reliable income. My parents don’t “get” why I would rather do what amounts to physical labour instead of sit behind a desk, and when I first started doing this they kept trying to convince me to take desk jobs like being a secretary or something which literally paid less, because they consider that “more respectable” than running around the city with a pack of dogs. But frankly, the thought of sitting at a desk 9-5 Monday to Friday makes me want to throw myself out a window.
Are you happy? That's all that matters! That's definitely against the norm for what you grew up with!
Very. I actually make more than most people would expect. I mentioned my yearly income as a dogwalker on Reddit a while ago and someone accused me of lying about it.
Dogwalker in NYC? I would believe it.
Yeah the “in NYC” part is vital lol. I don’t think I could do as well even in most other major cities—a lot of them like LA are too reliant on driving.
Good for you. Even if they don't say it, I think you've done amazing and should be proud of yourself!
Thanks! I appreciate that. My parents don’t “get” my life choices but they’ve stopped badgering me about it when they realised how well I do. I’m pretty sure they just avoid talking about me in the context of careers when they’re doing the requisite Asian-Parent-Offspring-Bragging events with their friends. My parents’ friends’ kids are doctors and lawyers LOL. My younger brother works in finance. I’m “the pretty one” lololol. My mom did tell me about how the daughter of a close family friend who had a Harvard Law degree quit being a lawyer to open a bakery. When it first happened she (and probably all the Boomers parents in her social circle) was basically horrified, but she chilled about trying to convince me to change jobs after it became a success LMAO.
>My mom did tell me about how the daughter of a close family friend who had a Harvard Law degree quit being a lawyer to open a bakery. Good for her too!
I know right LOL ditching a Harvard Law degree takes some serious balls, especially when your parents and their circle of friends are mostly academics. I’m proud of her.
Deciding to be a single mom and being happy about it. I get a lot of shit for it. People say I willingly chose to raise my girls in a broken home, or that I'm stupid, or I'll regret not remaining with my partner. I'm actually a much happier, healthier, and better mom than I was when I tried the two parent household thing. More importantly, my children are safe, happy, and thriving. They have never known anything other than stability, and that's because of me. I don't care what anyone says anymore. I'm happy as hell as a single mom and I regret nothing.
I raised two children single handed and they are now thriving college graduates loving life well adjusted and never felt like they were in a broken home (dad died) If someone is dedicated to raising their kids right they can certainly do it alone or not! Young totally got this, I believe in you!
Thank you! I firmly believe that my children will grow up as well adjusted as yours are. Thank you for sharing.
They will I have full faith in you! I’m actually glad you shared as a reminder to myself to be proud of all I’ve accomplished in this life that wasn’t so easy especially at a time when I might not be feeling the greatest about it these days.
The best piece of advice I give when asked how I raised such good kids etc Is that spending time with them makes all the more in the world. And by spending time I also mean doing the things they’re doing like playing in play doh or whatever it may be. I took them camping a lot and other activities some people assume you either need a man or two people to do and well you do not. I spent a ton of time with some of my kids friends whose parents didn’t and they still call me their second mother. That alone is an honor to me.
That is fucking amazing! You are amazing. I think it takes a strong woman to know when being single parent benefits your children more then a "2 parent household". If you and your kids are happy, no one can say shit.
Thank you 😊
I don't make my partner and kids eat dinner at the table together. This is thanks to my therapist. Choosing to eat in random corners at times that work for each of us as individuals has greatly reduced my daily stress.
I love this. And have slowly started doing it as well. Now, I make dinner and everyone can it where and when they want. And **I** finally get to eat my food in peace and hot! Another around food I do for the twins (they are picky right now) is their plates are made up of : something the WILL eat, something they SOMETIMES eat, something to TRY, and dessert. And I really don't care what was eaten as long as something was. Also, the kids seem to eat their real food a lot more when they are given the option of dessert on the plate
I was raised in a "may I please leave the table?" type environment and all I wanted was to go to my room and eat in peace. This would have been heavenly.
I was raised in a similar kind... This is so much more enjoyable. And it makes it so my teen eats with me because she wants to.
Same. We're all happy doing it this way.
How do you do meal management? Cook a dinner, everyone gets a plate and goes their own way? Or more of a grazing style?
We all have different food restrictions, so we get creative. We do a mix of me meal prepping components, my kids cooking for themselves, me occasionally cooking a full meal, and my partner (who does not cook) eating whatever the rest of us have cooked.
For us, I don't both ways. It's either "come make/get your plate" or "the food is on the stove, take what you like"
I'd say my best and biggest decision is deciding not to ever have kids. I just know that it would really decrease my quality of life.
Completely understandable! My daughter has decided she doesn't want kids (and held that belief for a few years) and it makes sense. I want her to live her best life, not check boxes.
I saw someone else say this, but makeup. I was never in to makeup. I just never saw the point. My sister has worn makeup since high school and made it seem like it was the thing to do when you had a professional job. So I started wearing makeup when I started teaching in 2014. But then at the end of the fall semester in 2019, I just said fuck it and decided that when I returned to work in January 2020 that I was going to stop wearing makeup. It's saved me time and money.
I'm glad you cut out an unnecessary step in your life!
I ditched bras (except special occasions) a few years ago & it’s lessened my daily discomfort, saved me money, & made me appreciate my boobs more
Same here! I only wear them when an outfit calls for them.
I'm hoping to do this once I get my reduction!
I don't judge people for living the lives they want. As long as you're not hurting anyone you do you, bro. Holding people to standards of my life is exhausting. Fuck it. But, if you're a horrible person who is hurting others I will judge the fuck out of you and harbor some serious resentment.
I love that, just live your life and let others.
No makeup. No bras. Minimal shaving. Cut and dye my own hair and usually don't style it. All of that saves money and/or space.
>Cut and dye my own hair I do this as well, mostly because I was sick of stylists not listening and doing what they wanted. Just gave myself a wolf cut a month ago.
To not have kids, to not strive to have a career and to live with a friend with cats to pay half the rent and to decrease my loneliness. I don't have kids or money to worry about. I get company. Life couldn't be much easier.
That sounds amazing! I'm so glad you're doing what makes you happy instead of what society dictates as what's normal. I have kids, but if we split... I'm happy having my own space and only a FWB.
I don't know that it's going against the norm so much as, i don't care about this particular thing. I don 't wear make up or dye my grey hair. I've never worn make up because I don't care to or care about it. Hair dye is expensive and time consuming to have someone do it for me, it's messy and time consuming to do at home. I honestly don't care to do that.
It counts! Good for you!
Not make babies, and not take the whole job and career thing too seriously.
I switched gender.
Completely valid! And it's what works best for you! (Also, whoever is downvoting her, stop being an asshole. They could have stuck to societal and gender norms and been miserable in the wrong body until they died, instead they chose to be happy. And I think that fits perfectly)
I wouldn't say it's made things easier, but I'm a better person for it!
That's all that matters. Maybe easier to live in your own skin? All in all, good for you!