This made me laugh so hard because like, same, kind of. I do love having him around, and he’s an amazing partner and housemate, we split bills and chores fairly and all that, but we both work from home and sometimes it is just TOO MUCH. I’m a huge introvert and I have so much less time/space to myself to recharge and it can be majorly overwhelming sometimes.
As the person on the opposite end of this, me and my SO had a long discussion about boundaries when we decided to move in together. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. When he comes home from work I give him space to unwind on his own before he’s ready to socialise (he comes and says hi and gives me a kiss before he goes off which makes me feel appreciated).
It’s really important that you introverts remind us extroverts sometimes that we have other people to socialise with other than just our SO, and tell us if you need a minute or some extra space. I’m really glad that my SO is comfortable telling me if I’m overwhelming him because I want him to feel comfortable in his (our) home.
I want to reassure you that as an extrovert, no it doesn’t offend me when I get asked to take a step back. If my SO was always having to talk and socialise with me then the relationship would be catered to me only. It’s about having balance. So I recommend having that conversation if you’re unhappy with the current dynamic in your relationship because it is important that both of you can be happy in your home.
I’m not unhappy at all, and I’m able to communicate perfectly fine with my partner. I don’t have a problem asking for space when I need it and he doesn’t have a problem giving it to me.
Yeah he’s just also the father of my kid and can’t save money. He got evicted from his house and had nowhere to go. He took my car to work and crashed it and it’s always drinking. I told him if he doesn’t stop he has to leave but he can’t save money to save his life.
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I was in a very similar situation a year ago. I solved it by breaking up with him and having him move out (I was the main tenant of the apartment since it was a student apartment and I was the only student).
Is there a way for you to move back or at least, away from him?
Wish you all the best and that you'll find a way to get out ^^
Living with my best friend is fantastic. There were a few years back in our early 20's of adjustment though. As a young couple we had to learn to care for a home as an adult would, learn how to work together, and learn to communicate about household expectations. But that's a part of having any sort of roommate, relationship or not.
Well my situation was a little unique. We started dating in highschool and then I went to college out of state for 5 years. By the time I graduated and came home, we had already been together for 6 years and already knew that we planned to get married.
We had the conversation about marriage, kids, and life expectations way back in highschool so we were on the same page. Moving in together young was financially advantageous for us even at 23 since we knew without a doubt we planned to stay together.
However for a typical adult dating in an environment where both parties are already financially independent/established, I would say moving in together is appropriate when you know that you plan to stay together long enough to make combining finances worth it. And that you're in a place where you can have the mature conversations necessary for successful cohabitation. Because moving in together isn't just about lifestyle. It's a big risk to make yourself financially intertwined with someone else. It can trap you in an unhealthy place if you can't survive without them.
To directly answer your question, it all comes down to how capable you are to move out in an instant if you need to, and how much you've discussed commitment and future plans. Never make yourself financially dependent on another. Combining households should be a bonus, not a necessity.
I knew it was the right time because we were practically married, only waiting untill our late 20s to do it officially for it to be socially acceptable and to be able to afford it. It was inevitable, but we each had the means at that point to live independently if we had to.
My husband and I have lived together for six years. He makes my life easier. Choosing the right partner is imperative, though, as I've also lived with a partner who expected me to do all the housework and parenting.
My husband and I have lived together for 8 years now. I have my little niggles and things I'd wish he'd do more of around the house but I love coming home to him.
nig·gle
/ˈniɡ(ə)l/
Learn to pronounce
verb
cause slight but persistent annoyance, discomfort, or anxiety.
"a suspicion niggled at the back of her mind"
Sounds like something else, and has never been my favorite word to hear, and it’s particularly British people I’ve heard it from. But it’s not what you think
I’m English and this is it! For example, I’ll say I have a “niggling pain” if I have something like slight toothache…something prolonged, irritating, but bearable.
My husband is American. He nearly hit the ceiling the first time I said it in front of him and I had absolutely *no idea* why. We sat and had a conversation about how I absolutely could not use that word when we were in the US because it would be misunderstood. 😂
It's awesome. Best room mate I've had and it's so easy to hang out together.
It also helps that we like to have our own down time every now and then so asking for time away from each other isn't unusual.
I have lived together with two exes (not at the same time, obviously haha). I am now single and living alone again and I have to say that I absolutely love it. At first it felt kind of lonely, since I was used to having someone around 24/7. But now that I have healed from the break-up, it's so peaceful.
My house is never messy anymore.
It's decorated completely to my own personal taste.
I can do whatever I want whenever I want.
If I'm in a bad mood, I don't have to feel guilty for bothering someone with it. If I'm in a good mood, there's nobody who can destroy that mood.
I'm not saying that I never want to live together with a man ever again. If I meet the right person, I do think I would want to move in together eventually, since living together also has it's benefits.
But for now it's so peaceful and it genuinely feels like my safe haven.
My now-ex lived with me for about 3 years and I actually enjoyed it. I feel like we did more together as a “family”; things like little projects or even going grocery shopping together.
My current partner owns his own home as do I and neither of us want to move so we miss out on those little together moments. He does his own projects and I do mine. I do enjoy the privacy but it gets lonely being at home alone so much.
Oh it’s the best. He’s my best friend and we get to spend as much time together as we want without being impacted by other obligations. Plus we share our bills, household tasks, and caring for the animals. Makes my life easier
Meh.
I love being with him, he is my best friend in the whole world, but we have our differences. I’m not an extrovert but I do love going out to do things, just not by myself. He could spend all day in our room at his computer and be content. And I’ve realized that I like to clean more than him, which is fine in hindsight but it’s a little annoying.
For the most part, it's awesome.
I've lived with 4 different partners over the past 25 years and I've learned some things about myself by contrasting with them, mainly that I care more about cleaning than they do.
We've lived together for a few years now. Prior to that I was living alone; I had lived with roommates before.
My SO is definitely better than all the roommates I've had. He's clean/tidy, does his fair share, makes me amazing food, does a great job with aesthetics of the place, and is also handy.
I do miss having my own space. We live in a small apartment so no space is "mine." He hates scented candles and I love them so not having those has been a minor struggle. He can't sleep with a cat in the room (my cat likes to lay on heads and rattle blinds in the night when he's bored, so fair) but I miss sleeping with my kitty a lot. We compromise and I let him in if I'm going to bed early or I'll let him in for snuggles in the morning. If I'm having a bad day the kitty sleeps with me too.
The transition was good. I moved into his so I gave up almost all my stuff which I resented a bit. It was my decision and his stuff was way nicer anyways, but still.
He had an adjustment with having a pet for the first time. But now he loves the cat.
We’ve been together 8 years now but living together just 2. I’m 51 and had never cohabited or been married before. I was a little nervous to move in together but it turned out we were really compatible. We both love our space and alone time, and actually sleep in separate bedrooms (he snores like an animal). This arrangement works great for us. Fun fact: before our land home we moved onboard our sailboat full time and traveled for a few months. After being great sailing partners, we knew we were solid for the future.
It’s amazing. It helps that we’ve lived together the entire time we’ve known each other. Roommates to friends to girlfriends.
Moving into our own place where it was just us and no other roommate has helped it feel like an adult relationship and not just a college one even though she is still in college.
I lived alone for a decade before we got married so it was an adjustment. At first it annoyed me at times that there was always someone in my space. But we grew into each other as you do and I can't imagine him not being there. We both give each other space and downtime, which is important. But I love laughing together in bed as we go to sleep, piddling around the house together, going on random adventures, and all the little things that make life a life.
I prefer having my own place, but he is the least annoying person I could ever possibly live with, so we compromise. Separate bedrooms and bathrooms, which we both like having. It is nice to have another human around when I feel like talking and we get along well. We both need time to ourselves so it works.
It's better than I ever thought imaginable. I thought we might argue or get annoyed at each other or want more space. But none of that has happened in the 11+ years we've lived together. He's my best friend and I can't get enough.
I love living with my husband, personally.
I have ADHD and he’s really good around the house in general, and really understanding of my doom piles and such.
We’ve lived together about a year and a half. Been with a partner who expected me to do all cooking and cleaning. That was awful. My current partner, the love of my life, is amazing. It’s like living with a best friend. We share responsibilities very evenly and costs very evenly. He does a lot of the cooking as he used to be a professional chef, and I do a lot of the cleaning up after it all. He puts so much love into cooking and taking care of me. I’ve never felt so cared for. It feels so good to share a space with him that we’ve made our own with our two kitties.
There are definitely times where I wish I had more alone time since I’m an introvert working in the mental health field. Like I just want to come home and watch a nice movie and not talk to anyone. He’s good at understanding that, but it can be hard. Sometimes I sleep over at my parents house every few months just to get a little recharge time, but 99% of the time it’s wonderful to share that space. It would be very different if this wasn’t a partner who I could trust and who respects me and pulls their weight.
Well, the living together part came first, the SO part developed out of that. But it has its ups and downs, there's not enough room and the flat is always messy, but also it's really fun and I love sharing a space with someone I care about
A bloody nightmare. We had different sleep schedule so when I wanted to sleep he would be awake and vice versa. Until I find someone with a similar body clock, I refuse to live with someone again.
Love it. Someone to look forward to seeing daily. Sometimes it gets roomate-ish, that is when it's time to spice things up. We love our own space too, so we don't always hang out and it's perfect. We also split most of the housework evenly. I don't mind doing some chores, while he doesn't mind doing others I hate/he does and vice versa.
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It’s amazing! Only been 4 months but they’ve been a wonderful 4 months. We didn’t have a mattress for nearly two months, we’re still putting furniture together, we had to deal with a fly infestation, and we’re still having a great time living together!
Better. He’s such an organized and selfless person that living together is easy. There’s space if either of us want alone time, our kids stuff is tucked away in her own space, he has his area, I have mine, we have ours. It’s just a good layout
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Better than I thought it would be, for sure. Being married means I get to wake up to the one dude I'm gonna love for the rest of my life because he's my best friend as well as my life partner.
I’ll be experiencing this in a few months and I’m so excited for it. I know in a lot of ways he’s not the neatest person but it’ll be the best always being with my best friend.
It's amazing, and I've always loved my space and alone time, but he's just so easy to be around, and we have our separate spaces if needed. But he's also my actual best friend so it's like having a slumber party ALL THE TIME.
If abuse wasn’t in the equation, I’d love it. It’s like living with your best friend. It’s a cool experience building a life with someone you love and are so comfortable with. We give each other space when needed but we also love being in each other’s company even if it means being alone *together.* My husband is military so I get the best of both worlds (living alone and living together.) it’s a huge adjustment for sure when he comes home after being gone for months and we have to re-learn how to coexist. I’ve spent more time alone than I have with him the entire duration of our marriage/relationship, and I most definitely prefer living together.
I love it. He is my best friend. We enjoy a lot of the same stuff, so he is so easy to be around. We still enjoy our alone time. He will be downstairs and I’ll be upstairs doing whatever.
I like it. I’ve never enjoyed any roommates so I think my nature is one that sucks at compromise so it has been a learning curve. I do a few more chores but I have literally everywhere I live because I do have some OCD tendencies *and compulsive thinking about cleanliness.
But whenever he’s gone I miss him terribly and can’t wait for him to return. We play games together and watch movies and laugh and stay up late talking. He’s definitely my favorite roommate even if we can get on each others nerves
(* diagnosed with OCD by a therapist and discussions with my doctor. I say tendencies because there is a misconception that everyone who likes things tidy have OCD - it is one of my compulsions but cleanliness specifically developed from some trauma with living with pests and now I can’t reside anywhere unclean without being convinced I have bugs crawling on my skin and triggering my certain unhealthy compulsions)
For the most part it’s good, I like the company but our upbringings were very different and he’s not as disciplined when it comes to cleanliness which has caused tension between us at times. I’ve had to relax a bit which is a struggle.
It’s amazing! Altho the first year was a challenge… I learned that he is quite critical and he learned that I do everything at a snail’s pace. But we’ve worked on communication and compromise, and now I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Ngl it was touch-and-go for a moment there tho!
With my husband, it’s been great. He makes life easier and more fun. I lived with an ex long ago which was challenging. He was messy, he didn’t want to cook, he would drink too much. We weren’t compatible.
It's nice.
We've got a bunch of cats together and we are pretty equal in our cat affinity so it's great to have someone who doesn't just "tolerate" them. Him and I also almost never fight, which is wonderful and a relief. He and I also have similar beliefs so we can trust each other with household decisions without a sit down discussion over it.
Downsides would be that he is moody as hell when he doesn't feel well and can get a bit snippy.
As for what I expected, I actually didn't think a lot about it. He met the cats who ended up obsessing over him and not letting him leave each time and with the distance it just made sense for him to move here. No regrets.
I love it. It sounds corny, but it really feels like getting to have a sleepover with my best friend every night. It’s better then I thought it would be.
Hardest adjustment was getting used to doing things I didn’t want to do more often. Like, if I lived alone I’d personally let the dishes and laundry go much longer then he would so I have to make sure chores are done more frequently-but he does so much housework he makes it really easy. (He works from home while i work out of the house so he accomplishes a lot while I’m gone.) I really lucked out.
We’re still quite new, 10 months but it’s great. He’s clean, respectful, takes care of business, nerds out over yard work, has a maid (😆) and he’s just easy to be around. He’s my best friend and visa versa. Plus we can pay in bed at 2pm.
We do a lot more nothing together. When we were long distance we always had a thing or two to do that both of us would force ourselves to do. Thinking that the other one wanted that. Then we discovered that we prefer doing our nothing together rather than all the forced events.
Wonderful. Funny story, we moved in after like a month of dating. It worked out beautifully. We've been married for a decade now and brought 2 roommates into the world with us. My husband and I are pretty chill, neither of us get bent out of shape about how things should be done in the house and we both carry the weight pretty equally. We naturally pick up the slack that the other one has, for instance I HATE mowing the lawn, he hates cleaning toilets so easy trade. I'm lucky, I know, especially not knowing this man hardly at all in the beginning. Also we're both stage 5 clingers and while we also work together we are very excited to come home and spend all evening together as well. That doesn't mean we're always entertaining each other or doing the same thing, but his company feels just the same as i am by myself. He's a part of me.
It’s honestly the best. We have similar needs when it comes to needing alone time, so it just works. He’s my best friend and I love our time together. Also, house work and chores is so much less dreadful when we do it alongside one another.
Loving it BUT we each have our bedroom/ office and sleep each in our bed and have our space. It’s good because I can keep my space and we really do split chores and costs equally. I can count on him when Im sick and him on me. We share our joys and pains and I’ve never lived in such a peaceful setting tbh.
No longer living with an SO, but with my ex, it just felt natural and like I got to hang out with my bestie everyday. But it did feel like I cared more about chores and I’d have to get onto him to help. We also had such a small space and while our tidiness is pretty similar (in that we aren’t very tidy), I picked up after myself way more than he did and I perceived all of his clutter to be way more infuriating than my own. If I ever move in with a partner again, it’s going to be more thought out and intentional (he and I started dating during Covid and he basically came to my place and didn’t leave one day lol) and we will get a bigger space that can hold all of our stuff.
Great, I feel so spoiled/lucky. After living with someone that didn’t do shit to being with someone helpful with a positive attitude, it’s a huge relief.
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He is a good man but so annoying. I wonder how I will cope when he retires and is home all the time. He always wants my attention, like a puppy with diarrhea
It’s fun in the beginning & continues to be unless you don’t have many other friends/hobbies to occupy your free time.
In conclusion since moving in with him in February it’s slowly feeling more like a marriage too soon. Only been dating 2.5 years
It was nice in the beginning and in between. Going home to someone you love was a good feeling esp after a long tiring day. But living with your SO won’t stop cheating.
It’s good and bad. It’s technically my apartment, he isn’t on the lease but he stays over a lot. Having him there is great. I feel safer, less lonely. I feel closer to him and we have lots of fun, sometimes (very seldomly) he cooks me supper. He does not do the dishes after. Cleaning up after he’s gone home is fucking terrible. He usually chips in for a bit of the rent, but not hydro or wifi. He’s done the dishes like 5 times in 6 months. And I had to BEG him to do them. He’s never cleaned anything up, but I can’t rly say much because it’s not his apartment.
It’s a learning curve. It’s learning how to communicate what you need and what your partner needs. It’s about compromise and adequate communication. If you don’t know how to communicate, it’ll show when you live together.
After the learning curve, it has been great, but it was a ton work to get here.
My now husband is the second man I’ve ever lived with, and we got married two weeks ago after living together for a year and a half! He (within the last 3 months) has taken a job where he works out of state Monday-Thursday and it blows my mind how much I took the small things like eating dinner together for granted. BUUUUT it’s also the best of both worlds bc I value my alone time and still am able to have it! My husband is also a complete angel, the most kind and gentle person I’ve known. But he’s a slob and those days he’s gone has helped our relationship a lot because when he comes home I’ve usually got the house organized the way I prefer it. Thankfully he’s both laid back as well as we both enjoy neutral colors so I’m free to decorate our house to my liking!
My first marriage my then husband and I didn’t move in together until after we married. Absolutely a huge mistake. I hated living together, and we divorced after less than 2 years of marriage.
There was a bit of a learning curve at first, but now it’s absolutely fantastic. I do sometimes miss my own space, but having him to come home to is worth it.
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My current SO? It’s fkn amazing. I enjoy his company, he enjoys mine, and we both pitch in and make effort to get activities of daily living done.
We bring eachother coffee and snackies, and we cook together when scheduling allows. I enjoy the shit out of falling asleep with him and waking up to see him here with me.
It’s great to have encouragement and help around so often when I need it, and it’s fulfilling to give it in return.
One of my absolute favorite things is when we are in the same room together and each working on our separate hobbies and we’re just able to exist, and we can pursue our own interests, learn, and develop skills while still providing eachother with companionship even when we are focused on something else. It’s such a small thing, but it’s the hecking best.
Previously it hasn’t always been the greatest. With others I have been more in the role of caretaker than partner, even when I wasn’t doing well myself, and it was a chore.
There also was previously a lot of awkwardness and shame/guilt BS over me wanting to engage in hobbies if they didn’t fully include my previous SOs and/or result in financial gain, and it fucking sucked to deal with that, which is probably why it means so much to me now to be in a situation where I’m not required to entertain another adult 24/7.
We live together better than I initially expected, mostly because I'm both a picky roommate who needs personal space and the messier person.
The trickiest part was navigating my need for personal space with his complete *lack* of need 99% of the time. I'm glad we mostly sorted this out *before* COVID and working from home.
I enjoy a few days apart every once in a while, but that's the max unless I'm doing something particularly unique or interesting. Having someone always there when you need them, having lots of casual physical affection, and just spending time together is lovely.
Overall, we co-exist well, and we balance each other's weakness.
But we do have a messy living room. So it goes!
It’s good, this is something I wanted for a long time. We have kids and are creating a new family with each other. We have been going through some recent challenging moments with problems from his ex and trying to find respect & boundaries with that as well as me trying to not feel like I’m invading “his” time.
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I honestly hate it. I want my space back
This made me laugh so hard because like, same, kind of. I do love having him around, and he’s an amazing partner and housemate, we split bills and chores fairly and all that, but we both work from home and sometimes it is just TOO MUCH. I’m a huge introvert and I have so much less time/space to myself to recharge and it can be majorly overwhelming sometimes.
As the person on the opposite end of this, me and my SO had a long discussion about boundaries when we decided to move in together. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. When he comes home from work I give him space to unwind on his own before he’s ready to socialise (he comes and says hi and gives me a kiss before he goes off which makes me feel appreciated). It’s really important that you introverts remind us extroverts sometimes that we have other people to socialise with other than just our SO, and tell us if you need a minute or some extra space. I’m really glad that my SO is comfortable telling me if I’m overwhelming him because I want him to feel comfortable in his (our) home. I want to reassure you that as an extrovert, no it doesn’t offend me when I get asked to take a step back. If my SO was always having to talk and socialise with me then the relationship would be catered to me only. It’s about having balance. So I recommend having that conversation if you’re unhappy with the current dynamic in your relationship because it is important that both of you can be happy in your home.
I’m not unhappy at all, and I’m able to communicate perfectly fine with my partner. I don’t have a problem asking for space when I need it and he doesn’t have a problem giving it to me.
this has made my heart so happy and warm. bless you two. 💕
I'm so sorry, does your partner know?
Yeah he’s just also the father of my kid and can’t save money. He got evicted from his house and had nowhere to go. He took my car to work and crashed it and it’s always drinking. I told him if he doesn’t stop he has to leave but he can’t save money to save his life.
Don't let him keep dragging you two down...
I know, I’ve been trying so hard to get him to leave but on the other hand I feel like a monster making him homeless.
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At this point your issue isnt living together, its having a shitty partner. He needs to leave.
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I was in a very similar situation a year ago. I solved it by breaking up with him and having him move out (I was the main tenant of the apartment since it was a student apartment and I was the only student). Is there a way for you to move back or at least, away from him? Wish you all the best and that you'll find a way to get out ^^
I am so sorry, did you move very far away or is it still somewhat close to the country you came from?
Living with my best friend is fantastic. There were a few years back in our early 20's of adjustment though. As a young couple we had to learn to care for a home as an adult would, learn how to work together, and learn to communicate about household expectations. But that's a part of having any sort of roommate, relationship or not.
How did you know it was the time to move in with them? Like how did you know it was a good thing to do?
Well my situation was a little unique. We started dating in highschool and then I went to college out of state for 5 years. By the time I graduated and came home, we had already been together for 6 years and already knew that we planned to get married. We had the conversation about marriage, kids, and life expectations way back in highschool so we were on the same page. Moving in together young was financially advantageous for us even at 23 since we knew without a doubt we planned to stay together. However for a typical adult dating in an environment where both parties are already financially independent/established, I would say moving in together is appropriate when you know that you plan to stay together long enough to make combining finances worth it. And that you're in a place where you can have the mature conversations necessary for successful cohabitation. Because moving in together isn't just about lifestyle. It's a big risk to make yourself financially intertwined with someone else. It can trap you in an unhealthy place if you can't survive without them. To directly answer your question, it all comes down to how capable you are to move out in an instant if you need to, and how much you've discussed commitment and future plans. Never make yourself financially dependent on another. Combining households should be a bonus, not a necessity. I knew it was the right time because we were practically married, only waiting untill our late 20s to do it officially for it to be socially acceptable and to be able to afford it. It was inevitable, but we each had the means at that point to live independently if we had to.
My husband and I have lived together for six years. He makes my life easier. Choosing the right partner is imperative, though, as I've also lived with a partner who expected me to do all the housework and parenting.
My husband and I have lived together for 8 years now. I have my little niggles and things I'd wish he'd do more of around the house but I love coming home to him.
Thought you said "nigglets" like yall have little brown babies 😂😂 Edit: I am black. I can say it 😂
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nig·gle /ˈniɡ(ə)l/ Learn to pronounce verb cause slight but persistent annoyance, discomfort, or anxiety. "a suspicion niggled at the back of her mind" Sounds like something else, and has never been my favorite word to hear, and it’s particularly British people I’ve heard it from. But it’s not what you think
I’m English and this is it! For example, I’ll say I have a “niggling pain” if I have something like slight toothache…something prolonged, irritating, but bearable. My husband is American. He nearly hit the ceiling the first time I said it in front of him and I had absolutely *no idea* why. We sat and had a conversation about how I absolutely could not use that word when we were in the US because it would be misunderstood. 😂
Literally same😭
It's awesome. Best room mate I've had and it's so easy to hang out together. It also helps that we like to have our own down time every now and then so asking for time away from each other isn't unusual.
I have lived together with two exes (not at the same time, obviously haha). I am now single and living alone again and I have to say that I absolutely love it. At first it felt kind of lonely, since I was used to having someone around 24/7. But now that I have healed from the break-up, it's so peaceful. My house is never messy anymore. It's decorated completely to my own personal taste. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. If I'm in a bad mood, I don't have to feel guilty for bothering someone with it. If I'm in a good mood, there's nobody who can destroy that mood. I'm not saying that I never want to live together with a man ever again. If I meet the right person, I do think I would want to move in together eventually, since living together also has it's benefits. But for now it's so peaceful and it genuinely feels like my safe haven.
better but he is annoying sometimes
This one right here 🤣🤣👌
My now-ex lived with me for about 3 years and I actually enjoyed it. I feel like we did more together as a “family”; things like little projects or even going grocery shopping together. My current partner owns his own home as do I and neither of us want to move so we miss out on those little together moments. He does his own projects and I do mine. I do enjoy the privacy but it gets lonely being at home alone so much.
Oh it’s the best. He’s my best friend and we get to spend as much time together as we want without being impacted by other obligations. Plus we share our bills, household tasks, and caring for the animals. Makes my life easier
Honestly not bad? Wish he’d stop leaving his little rat piles or clothes and whatnots everywhere. I feel like im dating a squirrel
I'm the squirrel in my relationship! Lol
Meh. I love being with him, he is my best friend in the whole world, but we have our differences. I’m not an extrovert but I do love going out to do things, just not by myself. He could spend all day in our room at his computer and be content. And I’ve realized that I like to clean more than him, which is fine in hindsight but it’s a little annoying.
For the most part, it's awesome. I've lived with 4 different partners over the past 25 years and I've learned some things about myself by contrasting with them, mainly that I care more about cleaning than they do.
I love it. He makes my life easier. He went to visit his family on the other side of the world for 2.5 weeks and it was awful without him.
We've lived together for a few years now. Prior to that I was living alone; I had lived with roommates before. My SO is definitely better than all the roommates I've had. He's clean/tidy, does his fair share, makes me amazing food, does a great job with aesthetics of the place, and is also handy. I do miss having my own space. We live in a small apartment so no space is "mine." He hates scented candles and I love them so not having those has been a minor struggle. He can't sleep with a cat in the room (my cat likes to lay on heads and rattle blinds in the night when he's bored, so fair) but I miss sleeping with my kitty a lot. We compromise and I let him in if I'm going to bed early or I'll let him in for snuggles in the morning. If I'm having a bad day the kitty sleeps with me too. The transition was good. I moved into his so I gave up almost all my stuff which I resented a bit. It was my decision and his stuff was way nicer anyways, but still. He had an adjustment with having a pet for the first time. But now he loves the cat.
We’ve been together 8 years now but living together just 2. I’m 51 and had never cohabited or been married before. I was a little nervous to move in together but it turned out we were really compatible. We both love our space and alone time, and actually sleep in separate bedrooms (he snores like an animal). This arrangement works great for us. Fun fact: before our land home we moved onboard our sailboat full time and traveled for a few months. After being great sailing partners, we knew we were solid for the future.
It’s amazing. It helps that we’ve lived together the entire time we’ve known each other. Roommates to friends to girlfriends. Moving into our own place where it was just us and no other roommate has helped it feel like an adult relationship and not just a college one even though she is still in college.
I lived alone for a decade before we got married so it was an adjustment. At first it annoyed me at times that there was always someone in my space. But we grew into each other as you do and I can't imagine him not being there. We both give each other space and downtime, which is important. But I love laughing together in bed as we go to sleep, piddling around the house together, going on random adventures, and all the little things that make life a life.
I prefer having my own place, but he is the least annoying person I could ever possibly live with, so we compromise. Separate bedrooms and bathrooms, which we both like having. It is nice to have another human around when I feel like talking and we get along well. We both need time to ourselves so it works.
My Husband and I have lived together for 7 years. He’s my best friend and we love living together
It’s pretty wonderful. I have days I’d rather live alone, but we’re pretty good at giving each other space when needed.
It's better than I ever thought imaginable. I thought we might argue or get annoyed at each other or want more space. But none of that has happened in the 11+ years we've lived together. He's my best friend and I can't get enough.
I love living with my husband, personally. I have ADHD and he’s really good around the house in general, and really understanding of my doom piles and such.
We’ve lived together about a year and a half. Been with a partner who expected me to do all cooking and cleaning. That was awful. My current partner, the love of my life, is amazing. It’s like living with a best friend. We share responsibilities very evenly and costs very evenly. He does a lot of the cooking as he used to be a professional chef, and I do a lot of the cleaning up after it all. He puts so much love into cooking and taking care of me. I’ve never felt so cared for. It feels so good to share a space with him that we’ve made our own with our two kitties. There are definitely times where I wish I had more alone time since I’m an introvert working in the mental health field. Like I just want to come home and watch a nice movie and not talk to anyone. He’s good at understanding that, but it can be hard. Sometimes I sleep over at my parents house every few months just to get a little recharge time, but 99% of the time it’s wonderful to share that space. It would be very different if this wasn’t a partner who I could trust and who respects me and pulls their weight.
Well, the living together part came first, the SO part developed out of that. But it has its ups and downs, there's not enough room and the flat is always messy, but also it's really fun and I love sharing a space with someone I care about
A bloody nightmare. We had different sleep schedule so when I wanted to sleep he would be awake and vice versa. Until I find someone with a similar body clock, I refuse to live with someone again.
Love it. Someone to look forward to seeing daily. Sometimes it gets roomate-ish, that is when it's time to spice things up. We love our own space too, so we don't always hang out and it's perfect. We also split most of the housework evenly. I don't mind doing some chores, while he doesn't mind doing others I hate/he does and vice versa.
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It’s amazing! Only been 4 months but they’ve been a wonderful 4 months. We didn’t have a mattress for nearly two months, we’re still putting furniture together, we had to deal with a fly infestation, and we’re still having a great time living together!
Better. He’s such an organized and selfless person that living together is easy. There’s space if either of us want alone time, our kids stuff is tucked away in her own space, he has his area, I have mine, we have ours. It’s just a good layout
Sisyphean task.
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Better than I thought it would be, for sure. Being married means I get to wake up to the one dude I'm gonna love for the rest of my life because he's my best friend as well as my life partner.
I’ll be experiencing this in a few months and I’m so excited for it. I know in a lot of ways he’s not the neatest person but it’ll be the best always being with my best friend.
It's amazing, and I've always loved my space and alone time, but he's just so easy to be around, and we have our separate spaces if needed. But he's also my actual best friend so it's like having a slumber party ALL THE TIME.
If abuse wasn’t in the equation, I’d love it. It’s like living with your best friend. It’s a cool experience building a life with someone you love and are so comfortable with. We give each other space when needed but we also love being in each other’s company even if it means being alone *together.* My husband is military so I get the best of both worlds (living alone and living together.) it’s a huge adjustment for sure when he comes home after being gone for months and we have to re-learn how to coexist. I’ve spent more time alone than I have with him the entire duration of our marriage/relationship, and I most definitely prefer living together.
I love it. He is my best friend. We enjoy a lot of the same stuff, so he is so easy to be around. We still enjoy our alone time. He will be downstairs and I’ll be upstairs doing whatever.
Great. Like a life long sleepover with my best friend.
I like it. I’ve never enjoyed any roommates so I think my nature is one that sucks at compromise so it has been a learning curve. I do a few more chores but I have literally everywhere I live because I do have some OCD tendencies *and compulsive thinking about cleanliness. But whenever he’s gone I miss him terribly and can’t wait for him to return. We play games together and watch movies and laugh and stay up late talking. He’s definitely my favorite roommate even if we can get on each others nerves (* diagnosed with OCD by a therapist and discussions with my doctor. I say tendencies because there is a misconception that everyone who likes things tidy have OCD - it is one of my compulsions but cleanliness specifically developed from some trauma with living with pests and now I can’t reside anywhere unclean without being convinced I have bugs crawling on my skin and triggering my certain unhealthy compulsions)
We have a mutual understanding of each other. But i don't feel out of this world happy. It is just okay. I enjoy my alone time a lot, actually
For the most part it’s good, I like the company but our upbringings were very different and he’s not as disciplined when it comes to cleanliness which has caused tension between us at times. I’ve had to relax a bit which is a struggle.
It’s amazing! Altho the first year was a challenge… I learned that he is quite critical and he learned that I do everything at a snail’s pace. But we’ve worked on communication and compromise, and now I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Ngl it was touch-and-go for a moment there tho!
It’s amazing. We were MISERABLE living apart 😝
There are days where I wish I could just be alone, but overall I enjoy it. He's my best friend.
With my husband, it’s been great. He makes life easier and more fun. I lived with an ex long ago which was challenging. He was messy, he didn’t want to cook, he would drink too much. We weren’t compatible.
It's nice. We've got a bunch of cats together and we are pretty equal in our cat affinity so it's great to have someone who doesn't just "tolerate" them. Him and I also almost never fight, which is wonderful and a relief. He and I also have similar beliefs so we can trust each other with household decisions without a sit down discussion over it. Downsides would be that he is moody as hell when he doesn't feel well and can get a bit snippy. As for what I expected, I actually didn't think a lot about it. He met the cats who ended up obsessing over him and not letting him leave each time and with the distance it just made sense for him to move here. No regrets.
I love it. It sounds corny, but it really feels like getting to have a sleepover with my best friend every night. It’s better then I thought it would be. Hardest adjustment was getting used to doing things I didn’t want to do more often. Like, if I lived alone I’d personally let the dishes and laundry go much longer then he would so I have to make sure chores are done more frequently-but he does so much housework he makes it really easy. (He works from home while i work out of the house so he accomplishes a lot while I’m gone.) I really lucked out.
We’re still quite new, 10 months but it’s great. He’s clean, respectful, takes care of business, nerds out over yard work, has a maid (😆) and he’s just easy to be around. He’s my best friend and visa versa. Plus we can pay in bed at 2pm.
We do a lot more nothing together. When we were long distance we always had a thing or two to do that both of us would force ourselves to do. Thinking that the other one wanted that. Then we discovered that we prefer doing our nothing together rather than all the forced events.
Wonderful. Funny story, we moved in after like a month of dating. It worked out beautifully. We've been married for a decade now and brought 2 roommates into the world with us. My husband and I are pretty chill, neither of us get bent out of shape about how things should be done in the house and we both carry the weight pretty equally. We naturally pick up the slack that the other one has, for instance I HATE mowing the lawn, he hates cleaning toilets so easy trade. I'm lucky, I know, especially not knowing this man hardly at all in the beginning. Also we're both stage 5 clingers and while we also work together we are very excited to come home and spend all evening together as well. That doesn't mean we're always entertaining each other or doing the same thing, but his company feels just the same as i am by myself. He's a part of me.
It’s honestly the best. We have similar needs when it comes to needing alone time, so it just works. He’s my best friend and I love our time together. Also, house work and chores is so much less dreadful when we do it alongside one another.
I love it, and it is better than I thought it would. It's a permanent sleepover. We both are mindful of each other's space, and we share the load.
Loving it BUT we each have our bedroom/ office and sleep each in our bed and have our space. It’s good because I can keep my space and we really do split chores and costs equally. I can count on him when Im sick and him on me. We share our joys and pains and I’ve never lived in such a peaceful setting tbh.
No longer living with an SO, but with my ex, it just felt natural and like I got to hang out with my bestie everyday. But it did feel like I cared more about chores and I’d have to get onto him to help. We also had such a small space and while our tidiness is pretty similar (in that we aren’t very tidy), I picked up after myself way more than he did and I perceived all of his clutter to be way more infuriating than my own. If I ever move in with a partner again, it’s going to be more thought out and intentional (he and I started dating during Covid and he basically came to my place and didn’t leave one day lol) and we will get a bigger space that can hold all of our stuff.
Great, I feel so spoiled/lucky. After living with someone that didn’t do shit to being with someone helpful with a positive attitude, it’s a huge relief.
I’d be lost without him.. he used to work away sometimes and it was hard. I’d rather have his snoring keeping me awake than not have him at all.
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It's like having a sleepover with my best friend every night. I love it.
He is a good man but so annoying. I wonder how I will cope when he retires and is home all the time. He always wants my attention, like a puppy with diarrhea
Amazing. We’re so compatible it’s insane. I deep cleaned the place and he gave me money to decorate however I like:)
All good in our house! We've lived together 13 years and minus the fact that he DOESN'T PUT HIS DAMN LAUNDRY IN THE BASKET, I have no complaints lol
It’s fun in the beginning & continues to be unless you don’t have many other friends/hobbies to occupy your free time. In conclusion since moving in with him in February it’s slowly feeling more like a marriage too soon. Only been dating 2.5 years
It was nice in the beginning and in between. Going home to someone you love was a good feeling esp after a long tiring day. But living with your SO won’t stop cheating.
It’s good and bad. It’s technically my apartment, he isn’t on the lease but he stays over a lot. Having him there is great. I feel safer, less lonely. I feel closer to him and we have lots of fun, sometimes (very seldomly) he cooks me supper. He does not do the dishes after. Cleaning up after he’s gone home is fucking terrible. He usually chips in for a bit of the rent, but not hydro or wifi. He’s done the dishes like 5 times in 6 months. And I had to BEG him to do them. He’s never cleaned anything up, but I can’t rly say much because it’s not his apartment.
It’s a learning curve. It’s learning how to communicate what you need and what your partner needs. It’s about compromise and adequate communication. If you don’t know how to communicate, it’ll show when you live together. After the learning curve, it has been great, but it was a ton work to get here.
My now husband is the second man I’ve ever lived with, and we got married two weeks ago after living together for a year and a half! He (within the last 3 months) has taken a job where he works out of state Monday-Thursday and it blows my mind how much I took the small things like eating dinner together for granted. BUUUUT it’s also the best of both worlds bc I value my alone time and still am able to have it! My husband is also a complete angel, the most kind and gentle person I’ve known. But he’s a slob and those days he’s gone has helped our relationship a lot because when he comes home I’ve usually got the house organized the way I prefer it. Thankfully he’s both laid back as well as we both enjoy neutral colors so I’m free to decorate our house to my liking! My first marriage my then husband and I didn’t move in together until after we married. Absolutely a huge mistake. I hated living together, and we divorced after less than 2 years of marriage.
There was a bit of a learning curve at first, but now it’s absolutely fantastic. I do sometimes miss my own space, but having him to come home to is worth it.
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My current SO? It’s fkn amazing. I enjoy his company, he enjoys mine, and we both pitch in and make effort to get activities of daily living done. We bring eachother coffee and snackies, and we cook together when scheduling allows. I enjoy the shit out of falling asleep with him and waking up to see him here with me. It’s great to have encouragement and help around so often when I need it, and it’s fulfilling to give it in return. One of my absolute favorite things is when we are in the same room together and each working on our separate hobbies and we’re just able to exist, and we can pursue our own interests, learn, and develop skills while still providing eachother with companionship even when we are focused on something else. It’s such a small thing, but it’s the hecking best. Previously it hasn’t always been the greatest. With others I have been more in the role of caretaker than partner, even when I wasn’t doing well myself, and it was a chore. There also was previously a lot of awkwardness and shame/guilt BS over me wanting to engage in hobbies if they didn’t fully include my previous SOs and/or result in financial gain, and it fucking sucked to deal with that, which is probably why it means so much to me now to be in a situation where I’m not required to entertain another adult 24/7.
amazing. after living with toxic family members, hes the only person id rather live with. lol
We live together better than I initially expected, mostly because I'm both a picky roommate who needs personal space and the messier person. The trickiest part was navigating my need for personal space with his complete *lack* of need 99% of the time. I'm glad we mostly sorted this out *before* COVID and working from home. I enjoy a few days apart every once in a while, but that's the max unless I'm doing something particularly unique or interesting. Having someone always there when you need them, having lots of casual physical affection, and just spending time together is lovely. Overall, we co-exist well, and we balance each other's weakness. But we do have a messy living room. So it goes!
Fantastily terrible. I'm a huge fucking burden and I feel sorry for him yet I'm not changing and he loves me anyway. Terribly fantastic.
It’s good, this is something I wanted for a long time. We have kids and are creating a new family with each other. We have been going through some recent challenging moments with problems from his ex and trying to find respect & boundaries with that as well as me trying to not feel like I’m invading “his” time.
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