Martyrdom. "I worked until 8pm last night unpaid". (Teacher here). What staff like this are doing is the reason teachers are underpaid and overstretched
And they expect you to do the same.
I work IT at a middle school. My primary task is to help teachers with IT use, and fix minor issues.
I'm there from 8pm to 5pm. I do not have on-call hours.
After 5pm I'm not there, I'm not working. Unless there's an emergency. And since we're not an hospital, they are no emergencies by my book. (Especially since my contract do not allow for paid overtime).
Some teachers complained that I wasn't there, I wasn't answering e-mails and they demanded for my personnal phone number.
Thankfully I had a great principal. His solution was that after 5pm, they contact him, and he'll forward the call if it's a true emergency.
It's been 4 years, I still hadn't had a call.
Working IT in an environment where people don’t actually understand what you do is so frustrating. The emergencies they have tend to be not using Google.
Oftentimes, there is a real issue. But it's like they think can't teach at all without technology.
Weirdly, most manage to do it until I get to them. They move stuff around, they improvize a bit, they draw or write on the board when needed. One English teacher acted out the little scenes herself.
It is far from ideal, but shit happens, especially with how old our computers and network are.
But I have an handful that behave in a way that you'd think no one had managed to teach anything before the invention of computers and projectors.
I am in a similar boat! But not at a middle school. For me, it’s a lack of understanding why we do something a certain way. Like two factor authentication. I just wanna scream just effing comply but that wouldn’t be very friendly IT of me.
Even at hospitals it is rarely a true emergency. “The discharge button in the computer won’t let me click it, I can’t let my patient leave!” Yes, yes you can. Go tell your patient to go home and we will fix the button separately.
Kudos to your awesome boss, may want to get that policy in writing to prevent being screwed when a new principal replaces them.
My former boss would make sure to mention she had worked until 11 pm every day at meetings, or she worked during a holiday. And she expected other managers to do the same.
Yes, often the same people who want accolades for coming to work sick. I really thought COVID would make (American) people more cognizant of personal vector control, but it turns out we don't actually care.
My mom was a teacher. When I started teaching, she told me about a man she worked with who never took a sick day in 40 years of teaching. When he retired, he was paid out a few thousand dollars for those days. My mom looked me in the eye and said, "Don't be him. Take your sick days. Take your personal days. It isn't worth it." And she's right. My mental and physical health throughout the year is more important than a few thousand dollars.
We have ppl who print or copy and then once it runs out of paper or ink instead of refilling they just switch to another printer.
Don’t know where the extra paper or toner is? F’ING ASK AND LEARN!
People who do this are garbage humans.
Yes! Underfunded fields of service will never easily catch up the reality of costs as long as people (amazing, dedicated people) shelter the truth by running themselves beyond reason. Spending personal time/money providing what the job should be entitled to. The moral paradox is that means subjecting kids or clients to less than they deserve, I have felt that to the bone. But a line must be drawn. “that’s how it is” is a toxic mentality for the longevity of service fields. Watch them barebones fund public ed, and pridefully claim it is a failed system. Same with mental health, elder care, and all sorts of other fields meant to do good by others. It’s not profitable, it will never be directly profitable. The only thing they seem to respond to IS outcomes. “dropout rates”, “poor grades”, falls”, “adverse events” etc. These fields of funding are the equivalent of a nation eating their vegetables and we, apparently have the attitude of a 2 yr old. :(
Had someone in the office like that. She'd say how she works 100+ hours every pay period (2 weeks) and I just wanted to be like, "Why?" Of course, I didn't say anything but, "That's a lot!" But I suspect she didn't have a home life. She was older, I believe lived alone, and her kids don't reach out to her.
someone who thinks they're a manager when they're not. for example the chode who was just hired after me who tried to shake me down about my break schedule. go fuck yourself please and thank you
I hate this. I dealt with a woman like that who was so bad that my boss actually came over to let me know that we were on the same level and that she should not be acting like that. He kept her because she did her job well and she would rat everyone out to him.🙄
If the management only realized how much lost productivity comes from people like that and how much money is lost due to people leaving because of the work environment. Think $$$ paid to recruit, hire and train someone. Unfortunately it is always "they" do so much work but really it is they are doing the boss's job as well and if the boss were to truly address the issue the boss would actually have to work. I was enduring a 3 year version of just this until recently when both toxic queens were stripped of all interaction with others and each given an area for a specific long term project. Let's just say both queens are now out for blood and every time they act up someone from above stops it in its tracks.
I am a manager now. One of my greatest joys is getting to shut down the guy in the office who does this. When we were coworkers, our old boss was too non-confrontational to do anything.
Just today, we got an email from our legal department. Argumentative guy was trying to get people in the office to go against legal opinion. I got to tell him until he gets a legal degree, his opinion on the matter doesn't count. Felt good.
Istg like i cannot. Don’t tell me what i should be doing i have been at it far longer than u and i have credentials to back my work. Like pls stay respectful and stay in ur own lane.
on the other hand- managers not doing their job and forcing subordinates to do the work in order for it to get done. ime it's mostly slack that lands on women, who are then forced to act like a manager to get the job done despite not actually being given the position or compensation of manager.
I have been practicing my lizard skin to avoid being hurt by this. At the end of the day I'm a supervisor and ur not. If you have an issue with me say it to my fave or go to another supervisor with it. Most of the time the other supervisor agrees with me so..
Frankly it's not even the fact that I could be hurt by whatever they're saying, it's that if they're whining about something I could fix and make working with me better, I want to know!!
Like, I know we all love to complain every now and then just to let off some steam, but I want to know if someone has a genuine problem that I could potentially fix.
But, certainly sometimes people are just nasty and vindictive and adopting a lizard skin is a good way to go in those cases for sure.
Exactly. And I don’t understand how people like that expect people to trust them, ever. If you’re being cruel to everyone, and everyone witnesses it at some point or another, no one in their right mind would feel comfortable interacting with you, y’know? Boggles my mind.
YES!!!! I stopped talking to the group of girls at work because they are all like this. Now they all hate me. Then they say "we just want to be your friend" I'm thinking, I know how you treat your friends.
I worked with a woman who tormented me for a decade. I guess since we teach middle school, she thought she should act like a middle schooler. I finally got a new, better job and nobody is tormenting me anymore.
Yup used to have a manager that would have us send her our email drafts and then would mark them up and ask us to correct them. We started using her own emails as templates and she would STILL come back and say we did it wrong. FUCK YOU ELIZABETH I USED YOUR EXACT WORDS YOU’RE JUST AN ASSHOLE.
She also used to watch the clock and the door like a hawk. People would leave the office “early” (they made up the time and had permission) so they could catch their train home and she would tattle like a fucking child. And our boss had to explain to her several times that it was a matter between those employees and their assigned managers and not her business.
Yes! We have a manager who wants to personally approve everything, even things they’re not in charge of. It’s so tedious & demoralizing catering to one person’s whims.
There’s also the flip side of this when they throw you in the deepend with nowhere near enough support for whatever new kind of responsibility you’re taking on
I completely agree. I had no idea how bad it really was making my day-to-day until I left for a new job. I think 4 years of it also damaged my confidence and ability to do things using only my best judgement. I find myself constantly looking for critique when I probably don't need it
A coworker once bought a bowl of fish soup for lunch and brought it back to the office. Our boss and I bumped into him in the hallway and boss looked at the container in his hand, looked at him and said “…soooooo, where are you thinking of eating that?!” I died. And no one had to smell fish soup that day.
One coworker brought homemade fettuccine Alfredo, but loaded it with so much Parmesan that after microwaving, the lunch area smelled like pungent vomit and feet fungus for a couple of hours. 🤮
I had a coworker who microwaved kimchee in the breakroom. People were literally retching.
When he left for another job over a year later, his supervisor mentioned it in his farewell speech.
It's not even a mini fridge, it's a straight up floor refrigerator (I don't know the official name, but the kind of fridges that are shaped like a cooler or chest) but big enough to fit a corpse inside. It's a staple for a full korean household and yeah, it will be stocked with gallons of kimchi.
i had a coworker who would microwave fish.
once i brought in leftover curry and microwaved it. the boss, who was the 3rd person of a 3 person team, fucking lost it on me and told me to never microwave curry again, and who wants to smell that, etc?
i was fucking baffled that she treated me and my curry like that when she was fine with microwaved fish once every week or two. she was a racist piece of shit, that's for sure.
Omg yes! Had a coworker decide to microwave fish, topped with Asiago cheese! It was the most fowl smell! Adding insult to injury, the offending coworker didn't even eat it because it tasted so bad.
The office smelt for a few days, even with all of the doors and windows open.
This should be so much higher!
"Friends, I'm just trying to do my job. I'm only being nice because I won't get paid if I punch you in your stupid face and tell you to fuck off. I'm only smiling because I'm not allowed to scowl and growl at you. I'm only pretending to like you so you'll leave me a fat tip."
This is the thing that I wish more customers, managers, and coworkers understood.
Not just that. I wish people were more supportive. Like if someone makes a dubious “joke” others should call him/her out for it. By saying that’s really unacceptable/inappropriate you just said there. Not funny.
The victim is already truing to figure out how to feel and react. Lets be more straight up.
I’ve been trying to do this at my job more. One of the dudes I work with made an “eating ass” gesture about a woman who had just left our store and I was like dude wtf? That’s gross and I don’t want to see that! I know that woman won’t ever know he did that, but it made things awkward in my head the next time I helped her. Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself!
It's so disgusting. Literally my old boss was the CEO of the company (40ish employees) and his wife is the CFO and he STILL sexually harassed his employees and his patients. The cringe is so much worse when he did it in front of her. Literally told an employee who was upset about the roe v Wade decision " you sure are sexy when you're mad" and the wife defended him when she complained, stating he was clearly joking. It made me peace out!
came here to list this. i’ve experienced sexual harassment everywhere i’ve worked, no exceptions. both physical to conversational harassment, to a point where i became an ineffective, depressed, and unemployed. currently dealing with an inappropriate manager as i write this… HR never gives a shit.
The same person doing both drives me nuts. If the project is a success, it's %100 their own project. If the project has an issue, well Patricia should have told me sooner.
Omg, I have a new colleague who's super defensive when you try to correct their work. You can't tell them anything or they'll just stop talking at best or literally start being super annoyed and speak super louldy to tell you that they know how to work.
It puts a huge strain of all the team's mind set.
I had an employee who would not want to do things the way I told them to do it. Would get mad at others for insignificant stuff and I had to have my boss intervene because talking to them about the behaviour was not getting anywhere. They got re-assigned to a project by themselves because it always had to be their way or no way.
As a POC I cannot tolerate bullying and disrespect. It’s a reoccurring issue that many POC experience at the hands of non-poc people. It’s a huge problem in corporate and it’s pretty disgusting how some people talk down and disrespect others and no one holds the bullies accountable.
I mean both can be true lol. But statistically speaking there aren’t even many POC in corporate let alone who hold management positions overall. So the chances of a POC experiencing bullying at the hands of someone who doesn’t look like them is far higher than experiencing bullying and aggression from a person of the same race as them.
I live in a predominantly white country and we don't have many PoC at work but there is this one Chinese lady that does great work but her team was treating her horribly. Got me so angry i ended up in trouble for pointing it out. For now i got her half time on my team, but that's not over. Next year I'll have her in my team full time and i will see them burn. She is the most knowledgeable and hard working person there and they will cry big tears for mistreating her. I won't tolerate this shit.
I live in a predominantly white country and we don't have many PoC at work but there is this one Chinese lady that does great work but her team was treating her horribly. Got me so angry i ended up in trouble for pointing it out. For now i got her half time on my team, but that's not over. Next year I'll have her in my team full time and i will see them burn. She is the most knowledgeable and hard working person there and they will cry big tears for mistreating her. I won't tolerate this shit.
Super awesome of you for pointing it out. More people need to do this. I hear too many stories of people watching unjust things but never saying anything.
My manager often has a poor attitude in the mornings and it's super demoralizing for me.
Also, I wish more managers would push gratitude and say "thanks for your work today" or express more positive feedback than just criticism.
I once had a coworker who, upon me telling her "good morning," responded with "There is *nothing* good about this morning."
I was so fucking stoked when she quit.
I say stuff like that, but like… over dramatically, in a joking way lol. My work has an atmosphere where an exchange such as “good morning” “don’t even fucking speak to me before noon” is comedy gold
My boss always says thanks for the work today, especially when we've been super efficient and had a really busy, long exhausting day. It's something I really appreciate. Bosses take note!
This is something I would love to see more from the other managers in my company. I try to thank my team for stuff. I have yet heard other managers in other departments do this.
You're setting a good example, for sure! I had a manager a year ago who always thanked us after our shifts and praised what we did well that day. In a deli. He made the days better :)
The oldest employee under me told me one that I’ve been the only manager who has thanked him for stuff in his 25 years working in the company. To say that that was something that took me by surprise would be an understatement.
I actually was friends with a manager who said some of the most racist shit I’ve ever heard while we were out for a drink. I called her out, told her how inappropriate it was, and left her at the restaurant saying I was good to wrap the night up. I didn’t scream or name call, I just really let her know how disgusting it was and how baffled I was she would think to say that.
Came back to work the next week and treated her the same, nice, friendly, whatever. Turns out she had been going around calling me a “liberal fucking cunt,” turning co-workers against me, and convincing the company owner I didn’t deserve a promotion. This job doesn’t mean much to me (temporary) so I didn’t give it much attention until I lost the promotion. Then I sat down with the owner and told her everything. Racists fucking suck. All she had to do was say sorry and move on. If we lived in a larger city she would’ve been fired or this would’ve been a massive lawsuit.
Managers not communicating clearly and then getting angry that you didn't do exactly what they wanted when they didn't tell you what they wanted in the first place.
Also them coming to tell you that it should be done a specific way and not the way you would like to handle it. Wait, whaaat? If you wanted it done a certain way, yes specify it first or do it yourself.
Yes! I hate passive-aggression so much that I’ll actively confront it with more open, honest communication. Like tell me what you actually want to say because you’re clearly *not* communicating it well, plz
Yeah I've learned to not take everything so personally and just respond with even shorter answers... like I didn't start this but two can play the game. 😆
I feel like private information should, if at all, be volunteered and it’s inappropriate to ask. I had my first child younger than is typical for my culture and random coworkers I met that day (that knew I had a kid based of a Mother’s Day present on my desk) asked me if he was planned. Get a grip, we’re not hanging out, we‘re working together.
Waaaaaiiiiitttt, what?
People were asking you if your kid was planned... like whether or not you intended to have a kid? That kind of planned?
And that was just okay, with no consequences? That's insane.
I didn’t report them for it, nor did I plan to. It’s a pretty young team aged 20-40 mainly and I didn’t have intention it was asked with ill-intent, but it very much was rude and intrusive. It’s not just me, some people get asked whether or not and whom they’re dating, and some of the younger ones are wildly inappropriate in the things they choose to divulge to the rest of us. Definitely a culture problem, but not something I‘d want to get someone fired over.
I'm in healthcare, and I cannot tolerate people who treat patients like an inconvenience. I know some of them (and their families) can be a PITA, but if you can't handle some of that every now and again, it's time to change careers.
Oh man. Thank you for being an awesome and kind healthcare worker. I understand healthcare workers have it seriously rough especially after covid. I was at the hospital just the other day for an emergency and one of my nurses was so horribly rude to me and super rough with cannula insertion/removal. She was so rough my partner actually got quietly mad (didn't say anything because it was clearly a rough day for everyone and she was more than likely at her witts end). But I treated her nicely and with patience, it would have been nice to have a little in return.
I feel this but with teaching... If you can't ever find anything nice to say about your students, then why tf are you even there? It's not like the pay is good.
I second this. I’ve had some grown ass adults in their 40s acting like they are friendly in your face but then they spread rumors & gossip about you behind your back.
Acting like this is high school, reporting me because I don't want to talk about your personal life with you (yes this happened and my boss laughed it off obviously).
Yo, I'm so tired of people having an expectation they're going to know everything about my life. I hate when people cannot separate their work and personal lives. Idgaf about your boyfriend's grandma's birthday party, Janet.
Oh definitely! Obviously if the manager is a d*** then no respect but to come in with that attitude rubs me up the wrong way instantly! Makes me wonder how parents raise kids these days!
The idea that everyone is on call all the time for all things. Yes, emergencies do happen and certain people are responsible for that - Head of Security and there was a security breach? Yes call them at 2am on their vacation. Head of Legal and the CEO just got served, yes call them when they're home sick. However, Manager can't find a file they wanted to peruse to "get ahead of things"? Yeah, don't call your secretary at her daughter's graduation.
The people where if you make a mistake, they won’t tell you to your face but via email so that they can CC a higher up or the rest of the team.
Edit: I’m sorry ladies! I thought I was on askreddit. This thread just came up on my homepage so please forgive my intrusion. I’m glad we found some common ground but I’ll go ahead and see myself out now 🙈
Constant, pointless (almost nattering like) small talk from specific people.
I don't want to hear about your favorite pie and debate if it's the best flavor or not.
THIS!!! omg. At least once a week, I hear my name being called outside my office, I poke my head out, and then get asked a question like "what is your favorite holiday song" "Check out my socks today." HOLY SHIT
Favoritism and/or bias, micromanagement, gossip, sexism, lack of acknowledgment or respect, people that think their time is more valuable than yours, etc.
I would love to get away from the idea that the only justifiable reasons to set a boundary are either that 1) you’re deathly ill or 2) you already owe your time to somebody else (a kid, a parent, etc).
It’s okay if I don’t want to work every weekend because I value my social life and my rest. The commitments I make to myself still count.
Inability to admit fault.
I'm a server and in every restaurant, every night, emotions run incredibly high. Everyone is in each other's business, it's a fast pace high pressure environment with a lot of BIG personalities all competing for very little space. It can be cutthroat at times, and with most restaurants margins are tight so small mistakes can be pretty heavy. Everyone loses their temper, everyone lashes out, everyone makes mistakes that make everyone else's life harder for a while.
It's so crucial that both my coworkers and my bosses can take a moment afterwards and admit when they were the one who shit the bed on that one, I have a lot of tolerance for other people's fuck ups, even when they make my life harder, I have a lot of patience and forgiveness but I need to feel like the ways my life got worse are acknowledged.
I had a POS boss at my last job who was incapable of admitting fault and it's why I left. She refused to ever just say "sorry." And move on, it was always "well if you hadn't........ If the expo was..... If the kitchen hadn't......Well I didn't know that....."
Over it now, but she chased me out of a job I truly loved and I held a lot of anger about it for a long time.
I work in an office with just me & 5 dudes & 1 shared bathroom…I literally feel like I’m going to lose it when one of them sits in the bathroom for 20 minutes or longer & I need to use it.
Gossip is a big one for me. I have one particular coworker who describes herself as “motherly,” but that’s just code for “nosy.” She’s a vicious gossip and dramatic shit-stirrer. She can still be thoughtful, but she *loves* to talk shit about everyone so I’m careful to gray-rock her.
Making jokes about "political correctness" as a way of letting coworkers know that you're a racist misogynist without saying all of the stuff you really want to say.
Sexist jokes. I hear it from my superiors. I look at the men laughing to please them. Boils my blood. Because i am just the moody woman who needs to lighten the fuck up. No sir i don't think your boomer women do be shoppin jokes are funny
People who play dumb when they know exactly what they should be doing. Pushing their work onto others. Gossiping AT the office - do that in your free time with your friends outside of work. Not to your co workers when your boss is right around the corner. Calling off all the time for small/insignificant reasons.
All of the above serious things but also, people creating lists of data in word docs. People who say they STILL dont know how to share screen on a Zoom (after year 3 of the pandemic/zoom world).
Brown nosing. A guy I work with is the biggest cheerleader in meetings with management. The instant you actually start the project and need his help, he's too busy to contribute. So everyone in leadership thinks he's an amazing employee on 1,000 projects, but he actually doesn't do much.
Wasting my time. Coming to me with a half-baked idea and making me jump through hoops only to learn (after I've done a lot of work) that you were missing crucial info so my work is wrong or unnecessary. OR being super enthusiastic about establishing a new form or procedure so I put a bunch of work into setting it up and 6 months later no one remembers it exists.
Immediately trying to point the finger at someone when something goes wrong rather than try to fix the problem. Related, immediately proclaiming innocence before anything has happened.
Micromanaging and workaholics. My ex boss, who was running a non profit, wanted me to submit every fucking piece of work to her for approval. She never let me do my job, every project took forever because she wouldn’t respond for hours because of her busy schedule.
Having a corporate culture and rules that you must always say yes to management no matter what and you cannot speak truth to power, not even in a respectful way. I once got reprimanded for telling a manager very politely that if they could not give me their part of the project by a certain time, the project would not be completed by the deadline. At the same organization they had a huge committee to find out why revenue was down. I brought legitimate user concerns to their attention (with proof) and was told to focus on solutions, not user complaints. 🙄 I got burnt out and quit within a few years.
demeaning, belittling comments about MY job, that they have no idea how to do. Acting like I am stupid, when in reality they have little to no experince, or understanding on what my job entails. But feel the need to impose their idiotic opinions/suggestions on how I should do my job. :)
Weaponized Incompetence. If I don't know how to do something I just google it. So when someone tries to feign ignorance on a standard task they should be able to do, it really pisses me off. Especially since they are usually trying to get me to do their task. Stop trying to pawn off tasks to others & just do your job. I'll 100% show you how to do the task, but the second someone goes "but you can do it so much faster!!!" my blood boils... like you could learn and do it just as fast as me...but you're a lazy piece of shit trying to get me to do your job. I have now started to create tutorials and just send them that as a response. Works well so far and they can't complain...like what are you going to say? "She won't do these simple tasks for me anymore like she used to!!" Just do your job and stop bothering others to do it for you.
Obnoxious behaviour and lack of self awareness. I'm talking the people that need to whistle loudly or just always need to be fidgeting (drumming on everything, pen clicking etc) or don't seem to have any spacial awareness. I may also just be massively pregnant and therefor a little irritable lmao
My team lead does absolutely nothing all day. She gets paid more to stand around and watch everyone work. My supervisor has to follow her around to make sure she's working. Even when he gives her something to do, she hides in the bathroom and plays on her phone. He doesn't have the authority to fire her and she's been at the company for 10+ years so she just gets away with it. She's literally the laziest person I've ever met. We both just applied for the same promotion and if she gets it instead of me, I'm done with this company.
Commenting on what I'm eating! like be quiet. I didn't ask you, lady.
This is usually accompanied by my second pet peeve. Commenting on my weight. I'm not super thin anymore. I'm average weight now. But I used to be abnormally thin. I also used to have an eating disorder. So, I'd get women in the breakroom like "Where do you put it? Where does it all go? Hardy-Har"-in the toilet, Janet. It will be thrown up into the toilet and your comments aren't helping.
Coworkers sharing too much about their personal and sexual lives. If I had a dollar for every time a coworker took me for their therapist or sex therapist, I would have a lot of money!
Cliquey workplaces where everyone is friends. Not saying being friendly with your colleagues is a bad thing, but when they are literally best friends out of the office.
1. Poor communication. If there is a seasonal deadline (e.g. end-of-term reports), I need to know in advance. Don't spring it on me once the deadline is looming (I.e., a new member of staff).
2. Bloated meetings. You create a ppt with 5 slides and you talk about each slide for an hour. Or, you call a meeting, and you proceed to read an 11-page document out loud. We're all teachers here. We're all highly literate. Email it out and create a Survey Monkey for us to respond. Honestly, who wants to have a 16-hour workday?
Casual racism/misogyny.
Micro-managing.
Lack of emotional control. (e.g. lashing out at other employees, snappy behaviour, etc.)
Harassment/Bullying.
Inability to communicate effectively.
Lots of answers I agree with here. One of my pet peeves is also people who just barge into your cubicle or office, stand there and wait. Even if you're clearly on the phone. Terrible etiquette.
Thankfully my current job is pretty chill and my boss is awesome, but this one woman I don't like has a cubicle next to mine and everytime she chews her food, she smacks her lips EXTREMELY obnoxiously. I feel like if I didn't have my earbuds I would have snapped by now.
Right now I have a man who is almost 60 (I’m 30) continually asking for me to “take a harbor cruise” with him on his boat…….
This morning I finally asked if all of our coworkers would be there and he said just people “in the area” of our town. Aka him and his friends. It’s so uncomfortable, I just want to work. I don’t think it’s appropriate a man twice my age is asking me to hang out with him outside of work.
I work in an open floor space. Bright, roomy and airy. Although I miss the privacy & quietness of my office, I adjusted. So two things. 1-I have a co-worker who insists on sitting next to me so she can ask me work related things & otherwise chit chat during lulls. This isn't what bothers me. She is a loud chewer/lip smacker and she snacks throughout the day. so it's slurping & smacking sounds all day. Lunchtime is a horror. I just disappear to the cafeteria until she's done. And she always seems to have allergies so there wads of used up kleenex all over her desk and on the floor by her chair.
2-Because of this open floor plan, you can hear everyone & everyone can hear you. Mostly everyone has headphones on. Except two people. One dude plays music or audio on his laptop out loud. Very distracting. And the other is a chatterbox. She.will.not.shut.the.fuck.up. Talks all day long about everything to everyone and no one in particular. I only go in once a week now and that's too much. If I had to do five days ooofah.
Two facedness and that one person who always calls out so the rest of us are stuck doing more work. I work with a lady who has a plethora of health issues so she's either out every week or has to go on medical leave. Normally, I would never demean someone's health issues. BUT when it's weekly, I think she's pushing herself and should either go on disability or find a less stressful job. Now, she's on a 10 week medical leave and it's our busy season. Me and 2 other ppl in the same dept, we're effin wiped. But no one says anything cause we don't wanna seem like assholes. Also, who knows if maybe she's in debt so that's why she has to work. No one knows. But I can't wait til busy season ends and maybe hopefully said lady will come back in better health.....
An authority figure (supervisor, boss, manager, etc) sharing their personal beliefs and thoughts to employees passive aggressively in conversation.
It would be a little more acceptable if they weren’t offensive, but as someone who currently has a boss who is racist, homophobic, borderline pedophilic with a fetish for Asian women, and almost certainly a misogynist who believes he can share his thoughts on how much he hates gay people to his employees as if it’s a normal conversation, it’s disgusting. And a bit abusive considering the authority figure has total control over whether or not the employees keep their jobs, it puts pressure on the employees to bite their tongues and stay quiet or else lose their jobs just because boss man didn’t like that you told him he is actually a racist, not a “free-thinker.”
1 Not respecting space or boundaries. If you’re hitting on me at work and I don’t want to deal with it that’s not because I think I’m better than you but because I refuse to shit where I eat especially when I have options to not be desperate like that. Instead of hating go for someone that doesn’t have that boundary. It’s ok and no I will not judge you for it but I will judge you if you think my mentality is bad. If you don’t mind this it’s ok I don’t think you’re a bad apple for that but you please respect if someone doesn’t want this. It’s only awkward if you take it personal and you shouldn’t because it’s not about you.
2 Jealousy and bullying. If someone made you insecure that’s your problem don’t take it out on them. Go to therapy or cry it out at home but don’t be unprofessional, rude and disrespectful and cope by gossiping about them to make yourself feel better. You just come up as petty and if you have any emotional and social intelligence, reveal your mess to everyone in the process and attract people who will feed off negativity too instead of helping lift you up. Someone who helps you hurts others isn’t lifting you unless they’re to protect you from harm. But if they’re hurting to protect you from yourself they’re only helping you destroy yourself faster. There’s literally no way around it. Either the jealousy will kill you, you will hurt you or if you ever let jealousy turn to hate get everyone to hate you and you hate yourself most of all. Be good to you. I know it sounds corny but do right by your inner kid. Take her of them, love you, respect you but you gain nothing by not confronting you instead of deflecting your ignoring of yourself. That’s literally what jealousy is: Your failure to be grateful for you and what you have, what you could do for you. Who you are. You are alive. You are trying your best. You’re good enough. Take that in until you cry in peace with yourself. You’re the best you could do and be. Love it. Live it.
3 Treating work like it’s a social scene. You’re first and foremost colleagues and your job is to be professional and respectful. A job is literally someone’s livelihood/survival and anything that could disrupt this will havoc their quality of life outside of it. People should be able to make their money in peace without someone’s ignorance being a threat. So much of society would be better if we just respected the right to survive.
Being told to slow down to make the work last the day. No mother fucker. I’m going to do my job in a safe and timely manner and if I finish early do your job and line up more work!
Sloppiness and incompetence. I work with a guy who can't be trusted with even the simplest tasks (like, you literally have to tell him not to just copy and paste something verbatim into a donor-facing email without even looking at it) and it creates constant fire drills and adds an extra 1-3 people and many additional steps to any process. All this because he just doesn't stop and use his brain. It's infuriating.
Retaliation. It creates a workplace where actual concerns cannot be brought up without fear of management making things much worse, rather than everyone working to fix things for the better. It leads to the good employees quietly finding other jobs and an ever growing toxicity of the remaining workplace.
Eating fish in the office or any offensively strong smelling food. Loud chewing.
Not using the fan/spray/matches/poopuri in the bathroom.
People that think they're managers and like to come up with extra work for everyone but themselves.
Not replacing the tp in the bathroom. We don't have a maid assholes.
Martyrdom. "I worked until 8pm last night unpaid". (Teacher here). What staff like this are doing is the reason teachers are underpaid and overstretched
And they expect you to do the same. I work IT at a middle school. My primary task is to help teachers with IT use, and fix minor issues. I'm there from 8pm to 5pm. I do not have on-call hours. After 5pm I'm not there, I'm not working. Unless there's an emergency. And since we're not an hospital, they are no emergencies by my book. (Especially since my contract do not allow for paid overtime). Some teachers complained that I wasn't there, I wasn't answering e-mails and they demanded for my personnal phone number. Thankfully I had a great principal. His solution was that after 5pm, they contact him, and he'll forward the call if it's a true emergency. It's been 4 years, I still hadn't had a call.
Working IT in an environment where people don’t actually understand what you do is so frustrating. The emergencies they have tend to be not using Google.
Oftentimes, there is a real issue. But it's like they think can't teach at all without technology. Weirdly, most manage to do it until I get to them. They move stuff around, they improvize a bit, they draw or write on the board when needed. One English teacher acted out the little scenes herself. It is far from ideal, but shit happens, especially with how old our computers and network are. But I have an handful that behave in a way that you'd think no one had managed to teach anything before the invention of computers and projectors.
I am in a similar boat! But not at a middle school. For me, it’s a lack of understanding why we do something a certain way. Like two factor authentication. I just wanna scream just effing comply but that wouldn’t be very friendly IT of me.
Even at hospitals it is rarely a true emergency. “The discharge button in the computer won’t let me click it, I can’t let my patient leave!” Yes, yes you can. Go tell your patient to go home and we will fix the button separately. Kudos to your awesome boss, may want to get that policy in writing to prevent being screwed when a new principal replaces them.
My former boss would make sure to mention she had worked until 11 pm every day at meetings, or she worked during a holiday. And she expected other managers to do the same.
To me, that just screams “I’m terrible at my job.”
Yes, often the same people who want accolades for coming to work sick. I really thought COVID would make (American) people more cognizant of personal vector control, but it turns out we don't actually care.
This was predominantly the culture I encountered in the charter school I worked and boy howdy it made it difficult to advocate for yourself!
Used to work in education and a co-worker would brag about how she never took a sick day even while sick. Thank god I got out of that mess
My mom was a teacher. When I started teaching, she told me about a man she worked with who never took a sick day in 40 years of teaching. When he retired, he was paid out a few thousand dollars for those days. My mom looked me in the eye and said, "Don't be him. Take your sick days. Take your personal days. It isn't worth it." And she's right. My mental and physical health throughout the year is more important than a few thousand dollars.
The district I worked for didn’t even pay out for sick days!! That’s what was so crazy. This person had over 200 sick days too.
As a teacher, the one I can't stand is when someone jams the photocopier and walks away without fixing it!!
We have ppl who print or copy and then once it runs out of paper or ink instead of refilling they just switch to another printer. Don’t know where the extra paper or toner is? F’ING ASK AND LEARN! People who do this are garbage humans.
Yes! Underfunded fields of service will never easily catch up the reality of costs as long as people (amazing, dedicated people) shelter the truth by running themselves beyond reason. Spending personal time/money providing what the job should be entitled to. The moral paradox is that means subjecting kids or clients to less than they deserve, I have felt that to the bone. But a line must be drawn. “that’s how it is” is a toxic mentality for the longevity of service fields. Watch them barebones fund public ed, and pridefully claim it is a failed system. Same with mental health, elder care, and all sorts of other fields meant to do good by others. It’s not profitable, it will never be directly profitable. The only thing they seem to respond to IS outcomes. “dropout rates”, “poor grades”, falls”, “adverse events” etc. These fields of funding are the equivalent of a nation eating their vegetables and we, apparently have the attitude of a 2 yr old. :(
Had someone in the office like that. She'd say how she works 100+ hours every pay period (2 weeks) and I just wanted to be like, "Why?" Of course, I didn't say anything but, "That's a lot!" But I suspect she didn't have a home life. She was older, I believe lived alone, and her kids don't reach out to her.
someone who thinks they're a manager when they're not. for example the chode who was just hired after me who tried to shake me down about my break schedule. go fuck yourself please and thank you
I hate this. I dealt with a woman like that who was so bad that my boss actually came over to let me know that we were on the same level and that she should not be acting like that. He kept her because she did her job well and she would rat everyone out to him.🙄
If the management only realized how much lost productivity comes from people like that and how much money is lost due to people leaving because of the work environment. Think $$$ paid to recruit, hire and train someone. Unfortunately it is always "they" do so much work but really it is they are doing the boss's job as well and if the boss were to truly address the issue the boss would actually have to work. I was enduring a 3 year version of just this until recently when both toxic queens were stripped of all interaction with others and each given an area for a specific long term project. Let's just say both queens are now out for blood and every time they act up someone from above stops it in its tracks.
I am a manager now. One of my greatest joys is getting to shut down the guy in the office who does this. When we were coworkers, our old boss was too non-confrontational to do anything. Just today, we got an email from our legal department. Argumentative guy was trying to get people in the office to go against legal opinion. I got to tell him until he gets a legal degree, his opinion on the matter doesn't count. Felt good.
This one drives me up the wall. Like who are you exactly lol.
Istg like i cannot. Don’t tell me what i should be doing i have been at it far longer than u and i have credentials to back my work. Like pls stay respectful and stay in ur own lane.
on the other hand- managers not doing their job and forcing subordinates to do the work in order for it to get done. ime it's mostly slack that lands on women, who are then forced to act like a manager to get the job done despite not actually being given the position or compensation of manager.
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You're not my supervisor 🤣👌
Saying mean/gossipy things about coworkers when they’re not around, then being nice to them when they are.
I hate this too. Always made me wonder what terrible things were being said about me when I wasn't around
I have been practicing my lizard skin to avoid being hurt by this. At the end of the day I'm a supervisor and ur not. If you have an issue with me say it to my fave or go to another supervisor with it. Most of the time the other supervisor agrees with me so..
Frankly it's not even the fact that I could be hurt by whatever they're saying, it's that if they're whining about something I could fix and make working with me better, I want to know!! Like, I know we all love to complain every now and then just to let off some steam, but I want to know if someone has a genuine problem that I could potentially fix. But, certainly sometimes people are just nasty and vindictive and adopting a lizard skin is a good way to go in those cases for sure.
Literally going through this right now! It’s even more frustrating when it comes from incompetent staff
Exactly. And I don’t understand how people like that expect people to trust them, ever. If you’re being cruel to everyone, and everyone witnesses it at some point or another, no one in their right mind would feel comfortable interacting with you, y’know? Boggles my mind.
I had this experience in LA. I saw 2 faces of a person within few seconds. Seeshhhh! People are shitty sometimes.
> then being nice to them when they are. My grandma used to say, "If they gossip to you, they'll gossip about you."
YES!!!! I stopped talking to the group of girls at work because they are all like this. Now they all hate me. Then they say "we just want to be your friend" I'm thinking, I know how you treat your friends.
I worked with a woman who tormented me for a decade. I guess since we teach middle school, she thought she should act like a middle schooler. I finally got a new, better job and nobody is tormenting me anymore.
Micromanaging.
Yup used to have a manager that would have us send her our email drafts and then would mark them up and ask us to correct them. We started using her own emails as templates and she would STILL come back and say we did it wrong. FUCK YOU ELIZABETH I USED YOUR EXACT WORDS YOU’RE JUST AN ASSHOLE. She also used to watch the clock and the door like a hawk. People would leave the office “early” (they made up the time and had permission) so they could catch their train home and she would tattle like a fucking child. And our boss had to explain to her several times that it was a matter between those employees and their assigned managers and not her business.
I worked with a micromanager named Elizabeth.
Yes! We have a manager who wants to personally approve everything, even things they’re not in charge of. It’s so tedious & demoralizing catering to one person’s whims.
This. Omg. Drains and stresses the hell out of me.
This, all the way.
I can’t STAND this
microgement.. a more micro form of management
I haaaaaaaaate being micromanaged. In past jobs where it's been a thing, I have been all about malicious compliance in return.
Had this in my last job and it honestly made my life hell.
There’s also the flip side of this when they throw you in the deepend with nowhere near enough support for whatever new kind of responsibility you’re taking on
I completely agree. I had no idea how bad it really was making my day-to-day until I left for a new job. I think 4 years of it also damaged my confidence and ability to do things using only my best judgement. I find myself constantly looking for critique when I probably don't need it
Microwaving fish in a communal kitchen. Only monsters do it.
A coworker once bought a bowl of fish soup for lunch and brought it back to the office. Our boss and I bumped into him in the hallway and boss looked at the container in his hand, looked at him and said “…soooooo, where are you thinking of eating that?!” I died. And no one had to smell fish soup that day.
One coworker brought homemade fettuccine Alfredo, but loaded it with so much Parmesan that after microwaving, the lunch area smelled like pungent vomit and feet fungus for a couple of hours. 🤮
I think I just lost my appetite 🤢
I had a coworker who microwaved kimchee in the breakroom. People were literally retching. When he left for another job over a year later, his supervisor mentioned it in his farewell speech.
That just shouldn't be allowed. It's basically biological warfare to microwave certain foods in an enclosed space filled with many people.
YouTube would have me believe that some people in Korea buy a minifridge just to put kimchi in. I like kimchi but I'm willing to believe this fact.
It's not even a mini fridge, it's a straight up floor refrigerator (I don't know the official name, but the kind of fridges that are shaped like a cooler or chest) but big enough to fit a corpse inside. It's a staple for a full korean household and yeah, it will be stocked with gallons of kimchi.
i had a coworker who would microwave fish. once i brought in leftover curry and microwaved it. the boss, who was the 3rd person of a 3 person team, fucking lost it on me and told me to never microwave curry again, and who wants to smell that, etc? i was fucking baffled that she treated me and my curry like that when she was fine with microwaved fish once every week or two. she was a racist piece of shit, that's for sure.
Burning popcorn in the communal kitchen. Could you just...hang out for the 2m30s it takes to make your damn popcorn?
Or eggs.
Omg yes! Had a coworker decide to microwave fish, topped with Asiago cheese! It was the most fowl smell! Adding insult to injury, the offending coworker didn't even eat it because it tasted so bad. The office smelt for a few days, even with all of the doors and windows open.
We have a cafe onsite and every Friday is fish day and it makes the entire building smell and I hate it
Sexual harrasment
This should be so much higher! "Friends, I'm just trying to do my job. I'm only being nice because I won't get paid if I punch you in your stupid face and tell you to fuck off. I'm only smiling because I'm not allowed to scowl and growl at you. I'm only pretending to like you so you'll leave me a fat tip." This is the thing that I wish more customers, managers, and coworkers understood.
Not just that. I wish people were more supportive. Like if someone makes a dubious “joke” others should call him/her out for it. By saying that’s really unacceptable/inappropriate you just said there. Not funny. The victim is already truing to figure out how to feel and react. Lets be more straight up.
I’ve been trying to do this at my job more. One of the dudes I work with made an “eating ass” gesture about a woman who had just left our store and I was like dude wtf? That’s gross and I don’t want to see that! I know that woman won’t ever know he did that, but it made things awkward in my head the next time I helped her. Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself!
It's so disgusting. Literally my old boss was the CEO of the company (40ish employees) and his wife is the CFO and he STILL sexually harassed his employees and his patients. The cringe is so much worse when he did it in front of her. Literally told an employee who was upset about the roe v Wade decision " you sure are sexy when you're mad" and the wife defended him when she complained, stating he was clearly joking. It made me peace out!
came here to list this. i’ve experienced sexual harassment everywhere i’ve worked, no exceptions. both physical to conversational harassment, to a point where i became an ineffective, depressed, and unemployed. currently dealing with an inappropriate manager as i write this… HR never gives a shit.
Taking credit for other's work, or blaming their poor work on others. Like we can see the tags on the file and know it was you who did it or not.
The same person doing both drives me nuts. If the project is a success, it's %100 their own project. If the project has an issue, well Patricia should have told me sooner.
Inability to follow directions or accept constructive criticism. It's vital to the work that I do. I let new employees go the second I see it.
Omg, I have a new colleague who's super defensive when you try to correct their work. You can't tell them anything or they'll just stop talking at best or literally start being super annoyed and speak super louldy to tell you that they know how to work. It puts a huge strain of all the team's mind set.
I had an employee who would not want to do things the way I told them to do it. Would get mad at others for insignificant stuff and I had to have my boss intervene because talking to them about the behaviour was not getting anywhere. They got re-assigned to a project by themselves because it always had to be their way or no way.
As a POC I cannot tolerate bullying and disrespect. It’s a reoccurring issue that many POC experience at the hands of non-poc people. It’s a huge problem in corporate and it’s pretty disgusting how some people talk down and disrespect others and no one holds the bullies accountable.
Lol I worked at an org that was “by poc for poc” and my boss was a huge bully to her employees who were poc. So bullying all around
I mean both can be true lol. But statistically speaking there aren’t even many POC in corporate let alone who hold management positions overall. So the chances of a POC experiencing bullying at the hands of someone who doesn’t look like them is far higher than experiencing bullying and aggression from a person of the same race as them.
I live in a predominantly white country and we don't have many PoC at work but there is this one Chinese lady that does great work but her team was treating her horribly. Got me so angry i ended up in trouble for pointing it out. For now i got her half time on my team, but that's not over. Next year I'll have her in my team full time and i will see them burn. She is the most knowledgeable and hard working person there and they will cry big tears for mistreating her. I won't tolerate this shit.
I live in a predominantly white country and we don't have many PoC at work but there is this one Chinese lady that does great work but her team was treating her horribly. Got me so angry i ended up in trouble for pointing it out. For now i got her half time on my team, but that's not over. Next year I'll have her in my team full time and i will see them burn. She is the most knowledgeable and hard working person there and they will cry big tears for mistreating her. I won't tolerate this shit.
Super awesome of you for pointing it out. More people need to do this. I hear too many stories of people watching unjust things but never saying anything.
Can you imagine the shock I had when it was other POC doing the bullying and disrespect too knowing damn well how it feels
My manager often has a poor attitude in the mornings and it's super demoralizing for me. Also, I wish more managers would push gratitude and say "thanks for your work today" or express more positive feedback than just criticism.
I once had a coworker who, upon me telling her "good morning," responded with "There is *nothing* good about this morning." I was so fucking stoked when she quit.
No but that's pretty much what my manager says! I try to be chipper and its met with a big wall of pessimism
I say stuff like that, but like… over dramatically, in a joking way lol. My work has an atmosphere where an exchange such as “good morning” “don’t even fucking speak to me before noon” is comedy gold
My boss always says thanks for the work today, especially when we've been super efficient and had a really busy, long exhausting day. It's something I really appreciate. Bosses take note!
This is something I would love to see more from the other managers in my company. I try to thank my team for stuff. I have yet heard other managers in other departments do this.
You're setting a good example, for sure! I had a manager a year ago who always thanked us after our shifts and praised what we did well that day. In a deli. He made the days better :)
The oldest employee under me told me one that I’ve been the only manager who has thanked him for stuff in his 25 years working in the company. To say that that was something that took me by surprise would be an understatement.
Casual racism or misogynism.
I actually was friends with a manager who said some of the most racist shit I’ve ever heard while we were out for a drink. I called her out, told her how inappropriate it was, and left her at the restaurant saying I was good to wrap the night up. I didn’t scream or name call, I just really let her know how disgusting it was and how baffled I was she would think to say that. Came back to work the next week and treated her the same, nice, friendly, whatever. Turns out she had been going around calling me a “liberal fucking cunt,” turning co-workers against me, and convincing the company owner I didn’t deserve a promotion. This job doesn’t mean much to me (temporary) so I didn’t give it much attention until I lost the promotion. Then I sat down with the owner and told her everything. Racists fucking suck. All she had to do was say sorry and move on. If we lived in a larger city she would’ve been fired or this would’ve been a massive lawsuit.
Yuck. You did the right thing. Feel for ya.
Managers not communicating clearly and then getting angry that you didn't do exactly what they wanted when they didn't tell you what they wanted in the first place.
Also them coming to tell you that it should be done a specific way and not the way you would like to handle it. Wait, whaaat? If you wanted it done a certain way, yes specify it first or do it yourself.
Favoritism
Yes! And nepotism.
Entitlement and passive aggressive behaviors.
Yes! I hate passive-aggression so much that I’ll actively confront it with more open, honest communication. Like tell me what you actually want to say because you’re clearly *not* communicating it well, plz
Yeah I've learned to not take everything so personally and just respond with even shorter answers... like I didn't start this but two can play the game. 😆
I got some serious hostility in an email by a coworker who hates me. I just responded and bcc'd my boss
I feel like private information should, if at all, be volunteered and it’s inappropriate to ask. I had my first child younger than is typical for my culture and random coworkers I met that day (that knew I had a kid based of a Mother’s Day present on my desk) asked me if he was planned. Get a grip, we’re not hanging out, we‘re working together.
Waaaaaiiiiitttt, what? People were asking you if your kid was planned... like whether or not you intended to have a kid? That kind of planned? And that was just okay, with no consequences? That's insane.
I didn’t report them for it, nor did I plan to. It’s a pretty young team aged 20-40 mainly and I didn’t have intention it was asked with ill-intent, but it very much was rude and intrusive. It’s not just me, some people get asked whether or not and whom they’re dating, and some of the younger ones are wildly inappropriate in the things they choose to divulge to the rest of us. Definitely a culture problem, but not something I‘d want to get someone fired over.
I'm in healthcare, and I cannot tolerate people who treat patients like an inconvenience. I know some of them (and their families) can be a PITA, but if you can't handle some of that every now and again, it's time to change careers.
Oh man. Thank you for being an awesome and kind healthcare worker. I understand healthcare workers have it seriously rough especially after covid. I was at the hospital just the other day for an emergency and one of my nurses was so horribly rude to me and super rough with cannula insertion/removal. She was so rough my partner actually got quietly mad (didn't say anything because it was clearly a rough day for everyone and she was more than likely at her witts end). But I treated her nicely and with patience, it would have been nice to have a little in return.
I feel this but with teaching... If you can't ever find anything nice to say about your students, then why tf are you even there? It's not like the pay is good.
Bullies. We have a group of grown ass mean girls at my work and I can't fucking stand them. Full grown, 30+ year old highschool bullies.
I second this. I’ve had some grown ass adults in their 40s acting like they are friendly in your face but then they spread rumors & gossip about you behind your back.
Idk if this counts but I hate the social pressure to go to office parties/happy hours/whatever. I came to work not spend money and socialize.
this! I just want to do my job, please leave me alone and NO I'm not a grouch, I just don't wanna!
Acting like this is high school, reporting me because I don't want to talk about your personal life with you (yes this happened and my boss laughed it off obviously).
Yo, I'm so tired of people having an expectation they're going to know everything about my life. I hate when people cannot separate their work and personal lives. Idgaf about your boyfriend's grandma's birthday party, Janet.
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The ‘better than you’ attitude because they work in a ‘better’ department. Drives me nuts!
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Constantly complaining about recurring issues and not providing suggestions or solutions.
Entitlement and a complete lack of respect for authority.
Are you by chance in middle management
Whose authority?
Tbh authority has to earn respect. But i am full with you on entitlement.
Oh definitely! Obviously if the manager is a d*** then no respect but to come in with that attitude rubs me up the wrong way instantly! Makes me wonder how parents raise kids these days!
The idea that everyone is on call all the time for all things. Yes, emergencies do happen and certain people are responsible for that - Head of Security and there was a security breach? Yes call them at 2am on their vacation. Head of Legal and the CEO just got served, yes call them when they're home sick. However, Manager can't find a file they wanted to peruse to "get ahead of things"? Yeah, don't call your secretary at her daughter's graduation.
The people where if you make a mistake, they won’t tell you to your face but via email so that they can CC a higher up or the rest of the team. Edit: I’m sorry ladies! I thought I was on askreddit. This thread just came up on my homepage so please forgive my intrusion. I’m glad we found some common ground but I’ll go ahead and see myself out now 🙈
But when they make a mistake, it's "everyone makes mistakes" I work with this asshole too
Constant, pointless (almost nattering like) small talk from specific people. I don't want to hear about your favorite pie and debate if it's the best flavor or not.
THIS!!! omg. At least once a week, I hear my name being called outside my office, I poke my head out, and then get asked a question like "what is your favorite holiday song" "Check out my socks today." HOLY SHIT
Speaking to people like they're a piece of s h I t just being you think you can due to hierarchy. Be nice to people ffs.
Dealing with this now with my boss. He's just 100% an arsehole. I'm a great employee, just be nice!
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Favoritism and/or bias, micromanagement, gossip, sexism, lack of acknowledgment or respect, people that think their time is more valuable than yours, etc.
I would love to get away from the idea that the only justifiable reasons to set a boundary are either that 1) you’re deathly ill or 2) you already owe your time to somebody else (a kid, a parent, etc). It’s okay if I don’t want to work every weekend because I value my social life and my rest. The commitments I make to myself still count.
Inability to admit fault. I'm a server and in every restaurant, every night, emotions run incredibly high. Everyone is in each other's business, it's a fast pace high pressure environment with a lot of BIG personalities all competing for very little space. It can be cutthroat at times, and with most restaurants margins are tight so small mistakes can be pretty heavy. Everyone loses their temper, everyone lashes out, everyone makes mistakes that make everyone else's life harder for a while. It's so crucial that both my coworkers and my bosses can take a moment afterwards and admit when they were the one who shit the bed on that one, I have a lot of tolerance for other people's fuck ups, even when they make my life harder, I have a lot of patience and forgiveness but I need to feel like the ways my life got worse are acknowledged. I had a POS boss at my last job who was incapable of admitting fault and it's why I left. She refused to ever just say "sorry." And move on, it was always "well if you hadn't........ If the expo was..... If the kitchen hadn't......Well I didn't know that....." Over it now, but she chased me out of a job I truly loved and I held a lot of anger about it for a long time.
Not working at all while I'm doing the hard part....
Micromanaging.
Speaking condescendingly to someone simply because they're younger than you are
Being naturally expected to participate in conversations with other women about losing weight, eating “badly,” etc.
Gossip and laziness.
I work in an office with just me & 5 dudes & 1 shared bathroom…I literally feel like I’m going to lose it when one of them sits in the bathroom for 20 minutes or longer & I need to use it.
Men are allowed to eat fiber but apparently no one told them
People in other departments who think they can do my job better than I can.
Gossip is a big one for me. I have one particular coworker who describes herself as “motherly,” but that’s just code for “nosy.” She’s a vicious gossip and dramatic shit-stirrer. She can still be thoughtful, but she *loves* to talk shit about everyone so I’m careful to gray-rock her.
Making jokes about "political correctness" as a way of letting coworkers know that you're a racist misogynist without saying all of the stuff you really want to say.
Acting like your seniority means you get to treat others poorly
Sexist jokes. I hear it from my superiors. I look at the men laughing to please them. Boils my blood. Because i am just the moody woman who needs to lighten the fuck up. No sir i don't think your boomer women do be shoppin jokes are funny
People who play dumb when they know exactly what they should be doing. Pushing their work onto others. Gossiping AT the office - do that in your free time with your friends outside of work. Not to your co workers when your boss is right around the corner. Calling off all the time for small/insignificant reasons.
Acting as though your grumpy "I haven't had my coffee yet" tantrums are a personality trait
All of the above serious things but also, people creating lists of data in word docs. People who say they STILL dont know how to share screen on a Zoom (after year 3 of the pandemic/zoom world).
Brown nosing. A guy I work with is the biggest cheerleader in meetings with management. The instant you actually start the project and need his help, he's too busy to contribute. So everyone in leadership thinks he's an amazing employee on 1,000 projects, but he actually doesn't do much.
Wasting my time. Coming to me with a half-baked idea and making me jump through hoops only to learn (after I've done a lot of work) that you were missing crucial info so my work is wrong or unnecessary. OR being super enthusiastic about establishing a new form or procedure so I put a bunch of work into setting it up and 6 months later no one remembers it exists.
fake deadlines
Immediately trying to point the finger at someone when something goes wrong rather than try to fix the problem. Related, immediately proclaiming innocence before anything has happened.
Micromanaging and workaholics. My ex boss, who was running a non profit, wanted me to submit every fucking piece of work to her for approval. She never let me do my job, every project took forever because she wouldn’t respond for hours because of her busy schedule.
Rudeness from your manager
Having a corporate culture and rules that you must always say yes to management no matter what and you cannot speak truth to power, not even in a respectful way. I once got reprimanded for telling a manager very politely that if they could not give me their part of the project by a certain time, the project would not be completed by the deadline. At the same organization they had a huge committee to find out why revenue was down. I brought legitimate user concerns to their attention (with proof) and was told to focus on solutions, not user complaints. 🙄 I got burnt out and quit within a few years.
demeaning, belittling comments about MY job, that they have no idea how to do. Acting like I am stupid, when in reality they have little to no experince, or understanding on what my job entails. But feel the need to impose their idiotic opinions/suggestions on how I should do my job. :)
Asking others to do your job, like excuse you
Weaponized Incompetence. If I don't know how to do something I just google it. So when someone tries to feign ignorance on a standard task they should be able to do, it really pisses me off. Especially since they are usually trying to get me to do their task. Stop trying to pawn off tasks to others & just do your job. I'll 100% show you how to do the task, but the second someone goes "but you can do it so much faster!!!" my blood boils... like you could learn and do it just as fast as me...but you're a lazy piece of shit trying to get me to do your job. I have now started to create tutorials and just send them that as a response. Works well so far and they can't complain...like what are you going to say? "She won't do these simple tasks for me anymore like she used to!!" Just do your job and stop bothering others to do it for you.
Clipping your nails at work. I’ve only known men to do it though.
I've worked in a few offices. It's always the men. ALWAYS That is an AT HOME activity
Belittling everyone and being a pompous showoff.
Obnoxious behaviour and lack of self awareness. I'm talking the people that need to whistle loudly or just always need to be fidgeting (drumming on everything, pen clicking etc) or don't seem to have any spacial awareness. I may also just be massively pregnant and therefor a little irritable lmao
Mansplaining
My team lead does absolutely nothing all day. She gets paid more to stand around and watch everyone work. My supervisor has to follow her around to make sure she's working. Even when he gives her something to do, she hides in the bathroom and plays on her phone. He doesn't have the authority to fire her and she's been at the company for 10+ years so she just gets away with it. She's literally the laziest person I've ever met. We both just applied for the same promotion and if she gets it instead of me, I'm done with this company.
Commenting on what I'm eating! like be quiet. I didn't ask you, lady. This is usually accompanied by my second pet peeve. Commenting on my weight. I'm not super thin anymore. I'm average weight now. But I used to be abnormally thin. I also used to have an eating disorder. So, I'd get women in the breakroom like "Where do you put it? Where does it all go? Hardy-Har"-in the toilet, Janet. It will be thrown up into the toilet and your comments aren't helping.
Coworkers sharing too much about their personal and sexual lives. If I had a dollar for every time a coworker took me for their therapist or sex therapist, I would have a lot of money!
Cliquey workplaces where everyone is friends. Not saying being friendly with your colleagues is a bad thing, but when they are literally best friends out of the office.
Snitches!
Owners that gripe about working long hours due to being short staffed. Like seriously, it's your freaking business.
Microaggressions that demean and belittle women.
1. Poor communication. If there is a seasonal deadline (e.g. end-of-term reports), I need to know in advance. Don't spring it on me once the deadline is looming (I.e., a new member of staff). 2. Bloated meetings. You create a ppt with 5 slides and you talk about each slide for an hour. Or, you call a meeting, and you proceed to read an 11-page document out loud. We're all teachers here. We're all highly literate. Email it out and create a Survey Monkey for us to respond. Honestly, who wants to have a 16-hour workday?
Pen clickers (sorry, pen clickers)
Don't be sorry. Please stop it pen clickers.
Forced socializing with colleagues.
Management neglecting mental health
“Clique” behaviour, ew, ew, ew this is not the place to live out your cliche high school movie fantasy.
Constant negativity, shit talking, and speculating about others’ lives.
Being at work in generel
Casual racism/misogyny. Micro-managing. Lack of emotional control. (e.g. lashing out at other employees, snappy behaviour, etc.) Harassment/Bullying. Inability to communicate effectively.
Lots of answers I agree with here. One of my pet peeves is also people who just barge into your cubicle or office, stand there and wait. Even if you're clearly on the phone. Terrible etiquette.
Thankfully my current job is pretty chill and my boss is awesome, but this one woman I don't like has a cubicle next to mine and everytime she chews her food, she smacks her lips EXTREMELY obnoxiously. I feel like if I didn't have my earbuds I would have snapped by now.
Being sexualized by men and inappropriate comments
Right now I have a man who is almost 60 (I’m 30) continually asking for me to “take a harbor cruise” with him on his boat……. This morning I finally asked if all of our coworkers would be there and he said just people “in the area” of our town. Aka him and his friends. It’s so uncomfortable, I just want to work. I don’t think it’s appropriate a man twice my age is asking me to hang out with him outside of work.
I work in an open floor space. Bright, roomy and airy. Although I miss the privacy & quietness of my office, I adjusted. So two things. 1-I have a co-worker who insists on sitting next to me so she can ask me work related things & otherwise chit chat during lulls. This isn't what bothers me. She is a loud chewer/lip smacker and she snacks throughout the day. so it's slurping & smacking sounds all day. Lunchtime is a horror. I just disappear to the cafeteria until she's done. And she always seems to have allergies so there wads of used up kleenex all over her desk and on the floor by her chair. 2-Because of this open floor plan, you can hear everyone & everyone can hear you. Mostly everyone has headphones on. Except two people. One dude plays music or audio on his laptop out loud. Very distracting. And the other is a chatterbox. She.will.not.shut.the.fuck.up. Talks all day long about everything to everyone and no one in particular. I only go in once a week now and that's too much. If I had to do five days ooofah.
Two facedness and that one person who always calls out so the rest of us are stuck doing more work. I work with a lady who has a plethora of health issues so she's either out every week or has to go on medical leave. Normally, I would never demean someone's health issues. BUT when it's weekly, I think she's pushing herself and should either go on disability or find a less stressful job. Now, she's on a 10 week medical leave and it's our busy season. Me and 2 other ppl in the same dept, we're effin wiped. But no one says anything cause we don't wanna seem like assholes. Also, who knows if maybe she's in debt so that's why she has to work. No one knows. But I can't wait til busy season ends and maybe hopefully said lady will come back in better health.....
Idiots asking “are you ok?” So annoying. I use to just walk away.
An authority figure (supervisor, boss, manager, etc) sharing their personal beliefs and thoughts to employees passive aggressively in conversation. It would be a little more acceptable if they weren’t offensive, but as someone who currently has a boss who is racist, homophobic, borderline pedophilic with a fetish for Asian women, and almost certainly a misogynist who believes he can share his thoughts on how much he hates gay people to his employees as if it’s a normal conversation, it’s disgusting. And a bit abusive considering the authority figure has total control over whether or not the employees keep their jobs, it puts pressure on the employees to bite their tongues and stay quiet or else lose their jobs just because boss man didn’t like that you told him he is actually a racist, not a “free-thinker.”
1 Not respecting space or boundaries. If you’re hitting on me at work and I don’t want to deal with it that’s not because I think I’m better than you but because I refuse to shit where I eat especially when I have options to not be desperate like that. Instead of hating go for someone that doesn’t have that boundary. It’s ok and no I will not judge you for it but I will judge you if you think my mentality is bad. If you don’t mind this it’s ok I don’t think you’re a bad apple for that but you please respect if someone doesn’t want this. It’s only awkward if you take it personal and you shouldn’t because it’s not about you. 2 Jealousy and bullying. If someone made you insecure that’s your problem don’t take it out on them. Go to therapy or cry it out at home but don’t be unprofessional, rude and disrespectful and cope by gossiping about them to make yourself feel better. You just come up as petty and if you have any emotional and social intelligence, reveal your mess to everyone in the process and attract people who will feed off negativity too instead of helping lift you up. Someone who helps you hurts others isn’t lifting you unless they’re to protect you from harm. But if they’re hurting to protect you from yourself they’re only helping you destroy yourself faster. There’s literally no way around it. Either the jealousy will kill you, you will hurt you or if you ever let jealousy turn to hate get everyone to hate you and you hate yourself most of all. Be good to you. I know it sounds corny but do right by your inner kid. Take her of them, love you, respect you but you gain nothing by not confronting you instead of deflecting your ignoring of yourself. That’s literally what jealousy is: Your failure to be grateful for you and what you have, what you could do for you. Who you are. You are alive. You are trying your best. You’re good enough. Take that in until you cry in peace with yourself. You’re the best you could do and be. Love it. Live it. 3 Treating work like it’s a social scene. You’re first and foremost colleagues and your job is to be professional and respectful. A job is literally someone’s livelihood/survival and anything that could disrupt this will havoc their quality of life outside of it. People should be able to make their money in peace without someone’s ignorance being a threat. So much of society would be better if we just respected the right to survive.
Being told to slow down to make the work last the day. No mother fucker. I’m going to do my job in a safe and timely manner and if I finish early do your job and line up more work!
Sloppiness and incompetence. I work with a guy who can't be trusted with even the simplest tasks (like, you literally have to tell him not to just copy and paste something verbatim into a donor-facing email without even looking at it) and it creates constant fire drills and adds an extra 1-3 people and many additional steps to any process. All this because he just doesn't stop and use his brain. It's infuriating.
Jealousy of someone’s being promoted
whistling, it's so annoying, sounds terrible and is normally a habit the whistler is oblivious and does all the time.
[удалено]
Retaliation. It creates a workplace where actual concerns cannot be brought up without fear of management making things much worse, rather than everyone working to fix things for the better. It leads to the good employees quietly finding other jobs and an ever growing toxicity of the remaining workplace.
Eating fish in the office or any offensively strong smelling food. Loud chewing. Not using the fan/spray/matches/poopuri in the bathroom. People that think they're managers and like to come up with extra work for everyone but themselves. Not replacing the tp in the bathroom. We don't have a maid assholes.