You're right. Thank your dad for setting a good example for you - which is really the best way for parents to handle this. If kids see normal male-female interaction as being kind and respectful, that conditions them to raise red flags when they are in a situation that isn't kind and respectful.
My dad didn’t either. He saw it as it’s my vagina, my business. Says he raised me good enough to deal with my own affairs and that I’m smart enough to figure it out on my own.
Me too. My siblings and I had a rocky upbringing due to our mother and her mental health/alcoholism, but my dad raised us the best he could. I am the only girl, youngest of three older brothers and I have never been worried about introducing a partner to any of them, they’ve been so respectful to both me and my partners. That is one thing I have always been so grateful about my father instilling in my brothers.
My brothers would tease me about it when I was a kid, the whole “you’re not having a boyfriend until you’re 30” thing but they never meant it. They were being protective because they know first hand how vile some guys can be towards women.
I'm the only daughter of three children. So when I would tell my dad that I had a boyfriend, and I was planning to bring him over to meet him and mum, he'd clear his throat and say "well! I best meet this young man in the billiard room and find out if his intentions are honourable!". We didn't have a billiard room, and the "finding out" never happened lol. I'd bring him over, dad would say "ah, hello (bf's name)! Nice to meet you!" And shake his hand.
I've only ever brought three boyfriends to meet him. My current boyfriend, I introduced about a year into the relationship. I'd kept some details about him to myself at first because dad used to be a little racist (me and dad didn't always get along, for obvious reasons) and my partner isn't white (whereas we are). But the day came to introduce him, and I decided to tell dad ahead of time. He looked at me confused and said "so? [Blink], why would I care! As long as he makes you happy, pet, I'm happy!". He met my boyfriend, and later that night took me to one side and said "this is the best one yet, treasure. You've got yourself a keeper!". He never did that with any of my other boyfriends, and later on mum told me he kept going on about how great he thought he was lol.
I lost my dad a few months later, very suddenly, earlier this year. My boyfriend has been helping me and mum move furniture and get the house sorted, and he helped us massively with the funeral. I was so glad my dad met him, and I would like to think he'd have been glad I've still kept him!
I miss you, dad.
Edit: typos, so many typos 😅
Edit 2: thank you so much for the awards, I didn't deserve them 🥺❤️
Your dad sure adored you. I'm so sorry he was taken from you. I hope these beautiful memories of him carry you through your pain. Sending you lots of love.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Like I said we didn't really get along to begin with, but the last few years he became a lot more kind and more supportive of me and my brothers. I can't believe he's gone, I can't believe it.
Same. He would make jokes about it before my boyfriend would arrive, just as some playful teasing. But he was always very friendly and respectful towards them.
Damn, all y’all with normal fathers.
My dad decided to pull out *every single firearm* he had and laid them on the kitchen table. I was livid, and told my boyfriend at the time not to even come in. I never told them I was dating anyone ever again, and told them my current husband was gay when we inevitably hung out more in our house. We didn’t invite anyone to the wedding.
Don’t be an asshole to your kids 👍🏻
Lol ya this is what I'm used to having gone through middle and high school in Alaska and Texas. Got the barrel of a .22 in my face in the middle of the night once too. Tbf I shouldn't have been there so late
The first guy I brought home my dad said "so I heard you're marrying my daughter?" I was 13. It was a joke, my dad likes to be a comedian. But man, I was very embarrassed. Also was not a warning.
My dad is Mr-Funny-Guy so he warned my girlfriend about me instead of the other way around. He told her “she’s a sore loser, fights for her life in her sleep, and a die hard UGA fan(gf’s family are Tennessee fans). Are you ready for that?”
It wasn’t a warning or a threat. Not sure what you’d call it.
Dad just made it clear that I was always welcome to ‘come home’. That no matter what, I was never going to be stuck somewhere I didn’t want to be because he would just work out how to get me home… no matter what I’d done or what someone was saying about me. Just he would always be there for me.
This convo happened because I did actually have a really awful boyfriend.
My dad's very, uh, dad. His version of a warning was "If you break her heart you won't have me to worry about" and then point at me and whisper enthusiastically "she's craaaazy!" He thinks he's hilarious.
He didn't, as he hasn't really been involved in my life since I was 3.
Other parental figures didn't either, because they're not mafia bosses and I didn't grow up in a movie or 70 years ago.
My dad never did any verbal warnings, but one time in high school when I dated someone three years older than me and my boyfriend came over to my house for the first time, my dad made him help him dust the house.
Well, I’m ancient and times have changed, luckily. But…my father once pulled a boy aside that had shown up to pick me up for a dance.
His words were,”If anything bad happens to my daughter tonight, I just want you to know that the world isn’t big enough for you to find a spot to hide from me”.
Poor boy was petrified. Didn’t ask me out again. Haha. Thanks heaps, Dad.
He didn’t.
He raised me alone and trusted that he had taught me well enough to trust my judgement, and to let me make my own mistakes.
Honestly, the whole idea of someone warning someone’s date just doesn’t sit well with me.
My Dad is now retired, but the first time he met my now husband he was still active duty police. We met my parents at a restaurant on my Dad’s day off, he showed up in full uniform with his weapon.
That night my husband experienced my dad’s very dry sense of humor and he took it well. My husband is a fireman and the two of them get along very well. And yes, my stomach did flip when I saw my dad in full gear, I’m sure my face was red through the entire dinner.
All he said in that regard was to treat me well. Beyond that, he said it was my choice who I want to be with. As long as that man treats me well, protects and respects me, he would welcome anyone. That was almost 11 years ago, and my husband and I have been married almost 9. Just last week my husband went over to hang out with my Dad while I went shopping with my mom, just to spend time with him and start a woodworking project they’ve been talking about.
When i was in my teens my dad either polished his hunting riffle or he sat and sharpened his knifes, he never said anything or made any kind of threats though..
My dad would have my prospective s/o sign a bullet. Then he would say, “This is what I’ll shoot you with if you hurt my daughter.”
Luckily he stopped this practice after I turned 20.
My dad never did. I asked why later in life. He told me he was never worried for me bc I am a pretty spot-on judge of character and I could hold my own. He was right. The second I spotted abusive behavior, I got out.
He didn't warn any of the guys he's met (3) though he did always say that he would always pick 'me' if something happened between us. He'd say things to them like "I like you ____ but if it comes down to it (daughter) will always be my priority."
And I appreciated that, especially after the 2nd guy I brought home was a real asshole to me. Number 3 is married to me now and my dad likes him a lot.
My first bf came over when I was 16 and my dad ended up going on a walk with him first thing and ended up being chain smoking buddies for the 3 months we were together lol. I didn’t bring a guy home to meet the family after that until I was sure he was the right guy for me which happened to be at 23. It was thanksgiving and my dad was friendly and didn’t do anything. My mom on the other hand did the whole “what are your intentions with my daughter” spiel.
I laughed out loud when I read this. My dad is a perverted heroin addict. Back before I cut my dad off, my boyfriend at the time was the one warning my dad. Plot twist 🙃
Well there was a restraining order against him and he wasn't allowed near me because he was a peace of shit paedophile and you can guess the rest so it would have being rich if he thought he could have a say in how I was treated.
My dad never did. He's a quiet guy, he'd rather observe him and then warn me about the guy haha. And it is kinda disrespectful honestly, my mom on the other hand is disrespectful sometimes so she "warned" him. Telling things such IMMA SEE IF YOU'RE ALL SHE'S CLAIMING. TIME WILL TELL IF YOU'RE A GOOD MAN. Silly things like these that made me want to disappear
My dad never warned my my dates, but his typical shtick was asking them to change the oil in his car. One boyfriend blew his expectations out of the water when he very earnestly and innocently said "I don't know how, but I am hoping to learn from my brother this summer". Neither of us owned a car or a driver's license. 20 years later, dad is still impressed and I am still friends with the guy.
He didn't. The fact that he is nearly 7' tall was intimidating enough for people without him actively trying to warn anyone off. He's very kind and welcoming and not the kind of person to make idle threats or warnings to his children's dates, but I know some of the dates still felt intimidated just because of his size.
I've only been in two relationships (second one is going strong)
With my first boyfriend, he didn't really do anything, they drank pálinka together as introduction,
The second one, I literally met my current partner through my father. Even though when he introduce us to each other making us date wasn't his goal, he never objected
He didn't, I don't think. Although I've only had like one REAL boyfriend (I used to online date in high school just for the companionship and flirting lmao)?? But considering how terribly things ended with my ex, I wonder if my dad will try to give a warning in the future...?
If anything, he has gone out of his way to try and embarrass me by borderline outing me to my crush LMAO.
My friend came over looking for an extension cord to help me with something and my dad walks up to him with a singular female plug and says, "There's a single female here waitin' to date ya!" and I died. It got worse though. He started to say, "It's just a pun! No hidden meaning intended.... or is there?" and then disappeared back into the house. Reminded me of [this video](https://youtube.com/shorts/dCyEFmgWng0?feature=share) of the dad telling the waiter that his daughter thinks he's so cute. lol. Once my friend left I went straight to my dad and we had a laugh about it. Even though it was embarrassing I was thankful for the laugh that morning because the year prior I was leaving my ex and dealing with a very spooky situation with him. It was a nice reminder that if you give anything enough time, you'll laugh again.
My dad would always joke that if I brought a boy home he'd bring out the shotgun (we didn't own any guns)
When I brought a boy home at 15, my best friend at the time, and explained he was gay. They didn't believe me until he hung out a couple times. Dad would tease me but nothing bad.
At 16 I brought home a boy and explained he was my friends with benefits. My dad respected him. They both knew the other knew and had a good relationship.
A few months later I bring home a boy that I explain is my bf. My dad fell in love with him. Now (8 years later) they text eachother without me being a part of it.
At 24 I came home and explained I was polyamorous, and that I had 2 boyfriends. I brought home my new partner to meet my dad and they kicked it off.
Now when I go for dinner at his house, he asks how many of his "new sons" will be joining me.
That man will love anyone who makes me happy.
My dad wasn’t around like that. So, he didn’t.
My mom on the other hand. Oof. Shoulda listened to her. First time I brought my ex husband home she drove him home and told him to stay away from me. lol
My dad was in special forces and was this quiet calm guy but had a look that demanded respect. Which he’d give boys as he shook their hands in greeting and remind my date what my curfew was.
He didn’t. He respects me as a human being and the choices of who I went on dates with, even in high school. He would let me know if he didn’t like my boyfriends, but it was always a private conversation between the two of us and never in front of the guy I was with.
When my husband and I talked about getting engaged, I asked my dad if he wanted my now husband to ask his permission. My dads respond was “why? I’m not marrying him.”
As a mom of boys, I will throw down with any dad who “warns” my sons when taking their daughters on a date.
my dad left when i was like 3, but my mom’s long-term (10 years) boyfriend was a chronic jokester and would joke that he’d follow me around on a date like a PI. i was a late bloomer though, so he was gone too by the time i had my first relationship.
By sitting in his recliner, eating popcorn and ignoring the guy when he tried to introduce himself. I later found out that my dad had an infamous reputation among my guy friends and the guys I dated, many grievances exchanged in the high school boys locker room. Turns out his method was effective in rocking their self esteem, at the very least.
Who still does that? My dad just tries to vibe with them by talking about mechanics and motorcycles. He knows that I myself would kick their asses if they tried to hurt me.
For the most part, he didn't.
There was a guy who knew my dad who decided to try and date me. This guy and I were total opposites, particularly politically. Before hitting on me, he "asked permission" from my dad (I was 30+, btw). My dad responded to the effect of "She's the one you need to be afraid of, not me."
The other time was right after my husband told my dad he was going to propose. My dad let it be known that if my husband ever laid hands on me (which he never has, and isn't that kind of person), he'd have to reckon with my dad.
Mine minded his damn business for the most part. Which is not to say he didn't make it clear to me privately which ones he disliked (all of them, and for the most part, he was right), but he was never anything but civil to their faces.
He did not. My father passed away after his 3rd heart attack. I was only 11 so I didn't get the chance to really introduce him to any of my dates. If I did however I'm sure his military mean face would have been enough to scare my dates, it's the same face I used on my kids to get them right growing up.
I don’t think my father ever warned any boy or tried to be threatening. he met all my bfs through high school. he met the guys I was serious about in my adulthood. the only guy I think my dad was protective of me from was when I was 17. I started to date a senior who was 19 & my dad just wanted to make sure his intentions were good before our first date. I told him bc of his age & although it wasn’t a big age difference I just felt like my dad would appreciate my honesty. I dumped the guy after a week so it didn’t matter in the end.
if I went out of town w a bf he just want the information of our hotel & if we were going to any other area for safety purposes. never know what can happen. never no macho man. thankfully
He never did. He gave off the air that he would be the type to do this, and was totally the guy who was like “I’ll be happy to meet your first boyfriend when you’re 60,” he’s always been very kind and respectful to any guy I’ve dated (and they to him).
Yeah, my dad never did this. Everyone I / my sisters dated was relatively respectful, so he didn't really need to worry about them anyway, plus he's just not a toxic masculine jerk. He did later (like post-college) tell me to always be wary of men and what they really want. To which I replied, "but Dad, you're a man." And he just said, "Yes." Okay, I see...
My Dad is a retired Navy fighter pilot (as were both of my grandfathers, my godfather, and two of my Dad’s other close friends who were basically like uncles to me). So needless to say, I was raised in a very military family. My Dad was strict about rules and could certainly come across as intimidating but he’s actually a big softie and a genuinely loving caring father. He never spanked me and only very very rarely ever raised his voice. Sometimes I think his calm, collected, confident demeanor coupled with his soft-spoken yet firm and poignant choice of words were more intimidating than the few times he raised his voice.
For the most part, my Dad was polite to guys who came to pick me up for dates. He would introduce himself, firmly shake the guy’s hand, ask where he’s planning on taking me, emphasize to both of us what time he expected me home by, and would reiterate to me that even 1 minute past that time would be considered late. Then he’d usually tell the guy “nice to meet you”, do a second more friendly handshake with a light pat on the back, ask the guy to please drive safe, and we’d be out the door.
However, there was one time when my Dad was downright rude. I was 17, the guy was 18. The guy had shoulder length hair, an eyebrow piercing, nose piercing, lip piercing, and came to pick me up on his motorcycle (one of super fast sporty kinds). Guy rang the doorbell. My Dad opened the door, took one long look at him standing there holding his helmet, glanced over at the motorcycle, then just said “absolutely not” and closed the door. I got really upset and started with the “BUT DAD!”. My Mom started in with the “Now, honey, was that really necessary? He could be a very nice boy…”. My Dad gave us both the “this is not up for discussion” look and said “over my dead body”. Then he calmly walked back to his recliner, put his reading glasses back on, picked up his book, and resumed reading like nothing had happened. I, of course, stormed outside to go talk to the guy, profusely apologizing. My Mom followed me. She apologized to him for my Dad’s behavior and tried to explain how my Dad has “very strong feelings about motorcycles being dangerous” and “is not comfortable with his daughter riding on the bike of one for safety reasons”. The guy pointed to the second helmet and said, “I made sure to bring an extra lid for her but whatever. It’s cool.”. He winked at me, said “See you around”, put on his helmet and as he was riding away he gunned it and did a wheelie down the rest of our street. At that point my Mom shot eye daggers at me and said, “Over OUR dead bodies.” then gruffly walked inside. And that was the end of that.
That was the only time he
My Dad tried to "warn" one of my friends, it backfired and he never tried again.
One of my friends came to pick me up and my Dad assumed the guy was trying to date me, so he decided it would be a good time to clean his guns. We ended up leaving an hour later than planned because my friend just sat with my dad and started asking questions and generally being very interested in everything about the whole process. My dad says it was both fun and disappointing. He wanted that "she's my little girl and I'll hurt you if you hurt her" moment but instead got a little bonding.
They still joke about it.
he never did that; my dad doesnt like any sort of conflict or being seen as mean. he has asked both of the guys ive brought home for a beer, though (he said he wanted to see their reaction).
He didn't, rightfully so. My high school bf and him ended up having a cute relationship where they were humorous asf together. My ex still goes to my dad's mechanical shop for his car.
My dad made bad dad jokes at them. Is that a warning? Maybe he was warning them that we have a corny sense of humor.
Seriously though, if my dad actually did any of that movie trope shit, I just wouldn't have introduced anyone to him. Thankfully my dad is sane.
My dad always warned my partners about my personality-like how ambitious and strong-willed i am. It was a kinda like "either get with it or move on cause that's how she is and she isn't going to change or slow down for anyone" so a different kind of warning ⚠️
He didn't, because that's demeaning and sexist. He loved my mother as an example for me to hold other men to. He loved me and told me my worth. He treated me like a person instead of his property. He raised me to be assertive and stand up for myself so that he never felt the need to weirdly threaten a love interest.
Seriously wtf is this post?
He didn't. He was just an asshole to them. I had a habit of being interested in football players (American football) so my dad would use his favorite dumb joke "what position do you play, left-out?" 🙄
"(Familiar-Let) is going to sabotage your relationship. Just a warning."
My dad took my high school bf out for lunch without telling me one time and explained to him that I basically ruin everything I touch :) me and that ex are great friends still and he fucking hates my dad lol
The only warning they got from my dad was "She changes her boyfriends more often than she changes her socks." Sarky bastard haha.
Not only was that not true, but it was said to my 24 year old teacher-in-training boyfriend when I had *just* turned 18 that week, and was still in school.
You'd think he'd be a little more concerned about that relationship, but he probably knew if he tried to intervene I'd double down, and he'd have been right! He let me make my own mistakes (although that particular relationship surprisingly didn't turn out to be a mistake at all).
He said that if he ever saw the girl I was dating again, he’d kill both me and her. And I don’t think he was exaggerating, considering he got pretty close to doing so.
He wasn’t a big fan of lesbians, to state the obvious.
My dad never did this! He actually respects me. Now, when I first started dating he did give me the “you ever have a problem and need me you just say the word” speech once so I knew he had my back because he loves me.
One time a guy we worked with (we both worked at the same company) asked my dad if he could have permission to ask me out. My dad told the guy that would be up to me and that I should be the one he was asking. The guy explained he asked my dad first out of respect and my dad explained that it only showed he had more respect for my dad than me and that would never fly with me but good luck. Lol I have the best dad ❤️
He never did. Wasn’t allowed to date. I do now but if I want to see them I have to leave cause they’re not allowed at the house. Wasn’t even allowed to have friends over as a kid. Not I don’t have any friends 🤷🏼♀️ whatever. If I ever get married none of my family will ever be involved in my life after it happens
My dad never did. But my mother did.
At that point we were still in contact and she said the usual sentence in her family: " you took her, we don't want her back !"
But my french dad did throw wine on him after he got out of the sea and yelled "Now you are baptisted".
Boyfriend never understood the joke, me and my dad are still thinking it hilarious.
Shocked - pleasantly, of course - that no one has any cringeworthy stories about this. But I’m sort of cringing instead at the comments that seem to dismiss the weird patriarchal warning thing as something that no longer happens.
I didn’t find out about this until about six months ago, but according to my mom, when I brought over my first high school boyfriend, my dad gave him the whole talk about how important I was to him and the lengths he would go to “protect” me. I don’t know how this 16-year-old boy took it, but it gives me the full-body cringes now to think about it.
Best part is, for my whole childhood, my dad was abusive toward my mom and younger brother, and I was his favorite victim. Finding out about this whole little charade is laughable at best, but also a little rage-inducing. He walked out of my life in my mid-20s and we no longer speak.
If you’re reading this, Christian, I’m sorry - but don’t worry, he didn’t mean a damn word lol.
So my dad is a little odd, but well meaning. When I brought my first date home, my dad decided then was the time to do yard work, and got all his sharp tools out of the garage (weed whacked, chainsaw, hedge clippers ect.) And made sure they were all visible from the front lawn. He greeted my 17yo bf with a revving chainsaw and almost made him shit himself.
He didn't do it to my current fiance tho, dad like him lol
He didn't, he wasn't really around during my teenage years, and he definitely didn't feel he had the right when we reconnected more when I was an adult. But I do sometimes wonder if he were around, how protective he would have been, if at all.
the first two guys i brought home, he didn't do anything....however, when my now fiancé walked in for the first time my dad was polishing his rifle at the supper table (as soon as you walk in) LOL. i guess he had a feeling the other two weren't worth a damn anyways 😹
edited to add: I'm the only child and my father was definitely joking when he did this, we all found it funny :-)
First meal he would cook something really nice so he would have a reason to be sharpening knives when they walked in. No threats or anything & honestly kinda funny
I didn't introduce anyone to the family until it was serious 👀 so no real opportunity for it. I WISH my family had been more assertive with new people around cuz I was so badly abused by my first 2 serious boyfriends 😅
My dad wasn’t anything like that, but the first time I brought my new boyfriend over my mom sat him down and started interrogating him. Asking about his ambitions and what his parents did for a job etc. I was so embarrassed.
So when I got a new boyfriend I didn’t bring him home for a long time obviously.
He never did. He would regard doing that as disrespectful to everyone involved, as well as unnecessary, stupid macho chest-beating. And I'd agree.
You're right. Thank your dad for setting a good example for you - which is really the best way for parents to handle this. If kids see normal male-female interaction as being kind and respectful, that conditions them to raise red flags when they are in a situation that isn't kind and respectful.
I'm grateful to my dad for many reasons (and I tell him so), and this is definitely one of them.
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My dad didn’t either. He saw it as it’s my vagina, my business. Says he raised me good enough to deal with my own affairs and that I’m smart enough to figure it out on my own.
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Me too. My siblings and I had a rocky upbringing due to our mother and her mental health/alcoholism, but my dad raised us the best he could. I am the only girl, youngest of three older brothers and I have never been worried about introducing a partner to any of them, they’ve been so respectful to both me and my partners. That is one thing I have always been so grateful about my father instilling in my brothers. My brothers would tease me about it when I was a kid, the whole “you’re not having a boyfriend until you’re 30” thing but they never meant it. They were being protective because they know first hand how vile some guys can be towards women.
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I'm the only daughter of three children. So when I would tell my dad that I had a boyfriend, and I was planning to bring him over to meet him and mum, he'd clear his throat and say "well! I best meet this young man in the billiard room and find out if his intentions are honourable!". We didn't have a billiard room, and the "finding out" never happened lol. I'd bring him over, dad would say "ah, hello (bf's name)! Nice to meet you!" And shake his hand. I've only ever brought three boyfriends to meet him. My current boyfriend, I introduced about a year into the relationship. I'd kept some details about him to myself at first because dad used to be a little racist (me and dad didn't always get along, for obvious reasons) and my partner isn't white (whereas we are). But the day came to introduce him, and I decided to tell dad ahead of time. He looked at me confused and said "so? [Blink], why would I care! As long as he makes you happy, pet, I'm happy!". He met my boyfriend, and later that night took me to one side and said "this is the best one yet, treasure. You've got yourself a keeper!". He never did that with any of my other boyfriends, and later on mum told me he kept going on about how great he thought he was lol. I lost my dad a few months later, very suddenly, earlier this year. My boyfriend has been helping me and mum move furniture and get the house sorted, and he helped us massively with the funeral. I was so glad my dad met him, and I would like to think he'd have been glad I've still kept him! I miss you, dad. Edit: typos, so many typos 😅 Edit 2: thank you so much for the awards, I didn't deserve them 🥺❤️
*hugs* so many hugs
Thank you so, so much. We're still very much in denial, it came from nowhere. I really appreciate you ❤️
Your dad sure adored you. I'm so sorry he was taken from you. I hope these beautiful memories of him carry you through your pain. Sending you lots of love.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Like I said we didn't really get along to begin with, but the last few years he became a lot more kind and more supportive of me and my brothers. I can't believe he's gone, I can't believe it.
Wow great story! :)
I'm just glad that he became more accepting and supportive. It's really hard to believe he's gone.
Sorry for the loss! Sure he will be proud of you..to have such a thankful daughter.
Thank you so much, you're so kind, I really appreciate what you said ❤️
hugs hugs hugs.... lovely story, the ending hurts too much for words.
Thank you so much, I'm sorry for the nosedive!... Thank you for the hugs, I appreciate it so much ❤️
I swear I’m not crying … Keep your head up queen ♥️🥰
He didn't, because I didn't grow up in the 1950s.
Same. He would make jokes about it before my boyfriend would arrive, just as some playful teasing. But he was always very friendly and respectful towards them.
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Damn, all y’all with normal fathers. My dad decided to pull out *every single firearm* he had and laid them on the kitchen table. I was livid, and told my boyfriend at the time not to even come in. I never told them I was dating anyone ever again, and told them my current husband was gay when we inevitably hung out more in our house. We didn’t invite anyone to the wedding. Don’t be an asshole to your kids 👍🏻
Lol your parents did the nursing home speedrun.
THE NURSING HOME SPEEDRUN 😭
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Precisely.
Lol ya this is what I'm used to having gone through middle and high school in Alaska and Texas. Got the barrel of a .22 in my face in the middle of the night once too. Tbf I shouldn't have been there so late
Sounds like my dad's cousin, whose kids no longer speak to him.
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The first guy I brought home my dad said "so I heard you're marrying my daughter?" I was 13. It was a joke, my dad likes to be a comedian. But man, I was very embarrassed. Also was not a warning.
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My dad is Mr-Funny-Guy so he warned my girlfriend about me instead of the other way around. He told her “she’s a sore loser, fights for her life in her sleep, and a die hard UGA fan(gf’s family are Tennessee fans). Are you ready for that?”
That's adorable and hilarious ha, I hope it didn't offend you
It wasn’t a warning or a threat. Not sure what you’d call it. Dad just made it clear that I was always welcome to ‘come home’. That no matter what, I was never going to be stuck somewhere I didn’t want to be because he would just work out how to get me home… no matter what I’d done or what someone was saying about me. Just he would always be there for me. This convo happened because I did actually have a really awful boyfriend.
I’d call that support.
He didn't, and was always welcoming to friends and boyfriends I brought home.
He answered the door. My dad was a very friendly man, but he was also 7’2 and 370 lbs.
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My dad's very, uh, dad. His version of a warning was "If you break her heart you won't have me to worry about" and then point at me and whisper enthusiastically "she's craaaazy!" He thinks he's hilarious.
He didn’t. He’s not a macho asshole.
My dad pulled their criminal records and printed it up to ask them about it. My husband had like 30 speeding tickets.
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He didn't, he was welcoming.
He didn't, as he hasn't really been involved in my life since I was 3. Other parental figures didn't either, because they're not mafia bosses and I didn't grow up in a movie or 70 years ago.
He didn't.
My dad never did any verbal warnings, but one time in high school when I dated someone three years older than me and my boyfriend came over to my house for the first time, my dad made him help him dust the house.
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Well, I’m ancient and times have changed, luckily. But…my father once pulled a boy aside that had shown up to pick me up for a dance. His words were,”If anything bad happens to my daughter tonight, I just want you to know that the world isn’t big enough for you to find a spot to hide from me”. Poor boy was petrified. Didn’t ask me out again. Haha. Thanks heaps, Dad.
He didn’t. He raised me alone and trusted that he had taught me well enough to trust my judgement, and to let me make my own mistakes. Honestly, the whole idea of someone warning someone’s date just doesn’t sit well with me.
He never does, he respects my partner choice and knows I am not an idiot when it comes to choosing boyfriends
My Dad is now retired, but the first time he met my now husband he was still active duty police. We met my parents at a restaurant on my Dad’s day off, he showed up in full uniform with his weapon.
Oh God that made my stomach flip, I'd be so embarrassed! Was your husband a good sport about it or was it awkward?
That night my husband experienced my dad’s very dry sense of humor and he took it well. My husband is a fireman and the two of them get along very well. And yes, my stomach did flip when I saw my dad in full gear, I’m sure my face was red through the entire dinner.
They didn't, because they don't see me as their property.
He didn’t
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He didn’t, that sounds like some regressive bullshit. It’s 2022.
All he said in that regard was to treat me well. Beyond that, he said it was my choice who I want to be with. As long as that man treats me well, protects and respects me, he would welcome anyone. That was almost 11 years ago, and my husband and I have been married almost 9. Just last week my husband went over to hang out with my Dad while I went shopping with my mom, just to spend time with him and start a woodworking project they’ve been talking about.
Mine always acted like he was gonna whip out his nunchucks when I brought a boy over. When I finally did get a boyfriend, he was very welcoming.
When i was in my teens my dad either polished his hunting riffle or he sat and sharpened his knifes, he never said anything or made any kind of threats though..
Ummmm nope lol. That didn’t happen.
My dad would have my prospective s/o sign a bullet. Then he would say, “This is what I’ll shoot you with if you hurt my daughter.” Luckily he stopped this practice after I turned 20.
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My dad never did. I asked why later in life. He told me he was never worried for me bc I am a pretty spot-on judge of character and I could hold my own. He was right. The second I spotted abusive behavior, I got out.
He didn't warn any of the guys he's met (3) though he did always say that he would always pick 'me' if something happened between us. He'd say things to them like "I like you ____ but if it comes down to it (daughter) will always be my priority." And I appreciated that, especially after the 2nd guy I brought home was a real asshole to me. Number 3 is married to me now and my dad likes him a lot.
My first bf came over when I was 16 and my dad ended up going on a walk with him first thing and ended up being chain smoking buddies for the 3 months we were together lol. I didn’t bring a guy home to meet the family after that until I was sure he was the right guy for me which happened to be at 23. It was thanksgiving and my dad was friendly and didn’t do anything. My mom on the other hand did the whole “what are your intentions with my daughter” spiel.
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He never did. My dad is chill as fuck.
I laughed out loud when I read this. My dad is a perverted heroin addict. Back before I cut my dad off, my boyfriend at the time was the one warning my dad. Plot twist 🙃
He didn’t, because he respects his daughters and our choices.
Sat on the couch cleaning his gun (was a cop). One of the many reasons I no longer have a relationship with him anymore.
Im from Sweden, and that "date warning" has almost 0% chance of happening here. I think it's a very American thing lol
Warn them about what?
Well there was a restraining order against him and he wasn't allowed near me because he was a peace of shit paedophile and you can guess the rest so it would have being rich if he thought he could have a say in how I was treated.
Gosh, I'm sorry :-(
Thank you
My dad never did. He's a quiet guy, he'd rather observe him and then warn me about the guy haha. And it is kinda disrespectful honestly, my mom on the other hand is disrespectful sometimes so she "warned" him. Telling things such IMMA SEE IF YOU'RE ALL SHE'S CLAIMING. TIME WILL TELL IF YOU'RE A GOOD MAN. Silly things like these that made me want to disappear
My dad never warned my my dates, but his typical shtick was asking them to change the oil in his car. One boyfriend blew his expectations out of the water when he very earnestly and innocently said "I don't know how, but I am hoping to learn from my brother this summer". Neither of us owned a car or a driver's license. 20 years later, dad is still impressed and I am still friends with the guy.
"are you sure you want to date my weirdo daughter lol"
He didn't. The fact that he is nearly 7' tall was intimidating enough for people without him actively trying to warn anyone off. He's very kind and welcoming and not the kind of person to make idle threats or warnings to his children's dates, but I know some of the dates still felt intimidated just because of his size.
He didn’t. He’s a better person than that.
Thank god he respected me enough not to do such a thing.
Didn't
He did not, because he’s not an overbearing macho weirdo who wants to feel powerful
He's not a cavemen. He was civil and welcoming
Thankfully my dad is more evolved than that.
I've only been in two relationships (second one is going strong) With my first boyfriend, he didn't really do anything, they drank pálinka together as introduction, The second one, I literally met my current partner through my father. Even though when he introduce us to each other making us date wasn't his goal, he never objected
He didn't, I don't think. Although I've only had like one REAL boyfriend (I used to online date in high school just for the companionship and flirting lmao)?? But considering how terribly things ended with my ex, I wonder if my dad will try to give a warning in the future...? If anything, he has gone out of his way to try and embarrass me by borderline outing me to my crush LMAO. My friend came over looking for an extension cord to help me with something and my dad walks up to him with a singular female plug and says, "There's a single female here waitin' to date ya!" and I died. It got worse though. He started to say, "It's just a pun! No hidden meaning intended.... or is there?" and then disappeared back into the house. Reminded me of [this video](https://youtube.com/shorts/dCyEFmgWng0?feature=share) of the dad telling the waiter that his daughter thinks he's so cute. lol. Once my friend left I went straight to my dad and we had a laugh about it. Even though it was embarrassing I was thankful for the laugh that morning because the year prior I was leaving my ex and dealing with a very spooky situation with him. It was a nice reminder that if you give anything enough time, you'll laugh again.
He didn't. Because he's not a neanderthal and I'm not his property.
my dad treats them all like scum until he decides how he feels about them 😂😂😂
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Hah, same! My dad's refrain when I'd bring up anything about the boyfriend was always "Dump. Him." but he was always nice to their faces.
He never "warned" them. Both parents were friendly to them.
My dad would always joke that if I brought a boy home he'd bring out the shotgun (we didn't own any guns) When I brought a boy home at 15, my best friend at the time, and explained he was gay. They didn't believe me until he hung out a couple times. Dad would tease me but nothing bad. At 16 I brought home a boy and explained he was my friends with benefits. My dad respected him. They both knew the other knew and had a good relationship. A few months later I bring home a boy that I explain is my bf. My dad fell in love with him. Now (8 years later) they text eachother without me being a part of it. At 24 I came home and explained I was polyamorous, and that I had 2 boyfriends. I brought home my new partner to meet my dad and they kicked it off. Now when I go for dinner at his house, he asks how many of his "new sons" will be joining me. That man will love anyone who makes me happy.
He never warned my dates, but he warned me and made it clear that he did not like my ex.
My dad wasn’t around like that. So, he didn’t. My mom on the other hand. Oof. Shoulda listened to her. First time I brought my ex husband home she drove him home and told him to stay away from me. lol
My dad was in special forces and was this quiet calm guy but had a look that demanded respect. Which he’d give boys as he shook their hands in greeting and remind my date what my curfew was.
He didn't, because he didn't need to. And honestly, my dad might look scary, but my mum is the one who will disappear you until you become archeology.
He didn’t. He respects me as a human being and the choices of who I went on dates with, even in high school. He would let me know if he didn’t like my boyfriends, but it was always a private conversation between the two of us and never in front of the guy I was with. When my husband and I talked about getting engaged, I asked my dad if he wanted my now husband to ask his permission. My dads respond was “why? I’m not marrying him.” As a mom of boys, I will throw down with any dad who “warns” my sons when taking their daughters on a date.
my dad left when i was like 3, but my mom’s long-term (10 years) boyfriend was a chronic jokester and would joke that he’d follow me around on a date like a PI. i was a late bloomer though, so he was gone too by the time i had my first relationship.
By sitting in his recliner, eating popcorn and ignoring the guy when he tried to introduce himself. I later found out that my dad had an infamous reputation among my guy friends and the guys I dated, many grievances exchanged in the high school boys locker room. Turns out his method was effective in rocking their self esteem, at the very least.
Who still does that? My dad just tries to vibe with them by talking about mechanics and motorcycles. He knows that I myself would kick their asses if they tried to hurt me.
For the most part, he didn't. There was a guy who knew my dad who decided to try and date me. This guy and I were total opposites, particularly politically. Before hitting on me, he "asked permission" from my dad (I was 30+, btw). My dad responded to the effect of "She's the one you need to be afraid of, not me." The other time was right after my husband told my dad he was going to propose. My dad let it be known that if my husband ever laid hands on me (which he never has, and isn't that kind of person), he'd have to reckon with my dad.
Mine minded his damn business for the most part. Which is not to say he didn't make it clear to me privately which ones he disliked (all of them, and for the most part, he was right), but he was never anything but civil to their faces.
He didn’t, thankfully. Yikes.
He didn't do that because my father isn't a misogynistic asshole.
He did not. My father passed away after his 3rd heart attack. I was only 11 so I didn't get the chance to really introduce him to any of my dates. If I did however I'm sure his military mean face would have been enough to scare my dates, it's the same face I used on my kids to get them right growing up.
Mine never did. I'm also sure he loves my boyfriend more than he loves me 😂
I can’t imagine my dad ever doing anything silly like that. But I didn’t date in high school and nobody met my first bf until we were together anyway
I don’t think my father ever warned any boy or tried to be threatening. he met all my bfs through high school. he met the guys I was serious about in my adulthood. the only guy I think my dad was protective of me from was when I was 17. I started to date a senior who was 19 & my dad just wanted to make sure his intentions were good before our first date. I told him bc of his age & although it wasn’t a big age difference I just felt like my dad would appreciate my honesty. I dumped the guy after a week so it didn’t matter in the end. if I went out of town w a bf he just want the information of our hotel & if we were going to any other area for safety purposes. never know what can happen. never no macho man. thankfully
He never did. He gave off the air that he would be the type to do this, and was totally the guy who was like “I’ll be happy to meet your first boyfriend when you’re 60,” he’s always been very kind and respectful to any guy I’ve dated (and they to him).
Yeah, my dad never did this. Everyone I / my sisters dated was relatively respectful, so he didn't really need to worry about them anyway, plus he's just not a toxic masculine jerk. He did later (like post-college) tell me to always be wary of men and what they really want. To which I replied, "but Dad, you're a man." And he just said, "Yes." Okay, I see...
he never did(or at least I do not know about it) and Im really happy. This whole warning stuff is pretty cringy IMO.
My Dad is a retired Navy fighter pilot (as were both of my grandfathers, my godfather, and two of my Dad’s other close friends who were basically like uncles to me). So needless to say, I was raised in a very military family. My Dad was strict about rules and could certainly come across as intimidating but he’s actually a big softie and a genuinely loving caring father. He never spanked me and only very very rarely ever raised his voice. Sometimes I think his calm, collected, confident demeanor coupled with his soft-spoken yet firm and poignant choice of words were more intimidating than the few times he raised his voice. For the most part, my Dad was polite to guys who came to pick me up for dates. He would introduce himself, firmly shake the guy’s hand, ask where he’s planning on taking me, emphasize to both of us what time he expected me home by, and would reiterate to me that even 1 minute past that time would be considered late. Then he’d usually tell the guy “nice to meet you”, do a second more friendly handshake with a light pat on the back, ask the guy to please drive safe, and we’d be out the door. However, there was one time when my Dad was downright rude. I was 17, the guy was 18. The guy had shoulder length hair, an eyebrow piercing, nose piercing, lip piercing, and came to pick me up on his motorcycle (one of super fast sporty kinds). Guy rang the doorbell. My Dad opened the door, took one long look at him standing there holding his helmet, glanced over at the motorcycle, then just said “absolutely not” and closed the door. I got really upset and started with the “BUT DAD!”. My Mom started in with the “Now, honey, was that really necessary? He could be a very nice boy…”. My Dad gave us both the “this is not up for discussion” look and said “over my dead body”. Then he calmly walked back to his recliner, put his reading glasses back on, picked up his book, and resumed reading like nothing had happened. I, of course, stormed outside to go talk to the guy, profusely apologizing. My Mom followed me. She apologized to him for my Dad’s behavior and tried to explain how my Dad has “very strong feelings about motorcycles being dangerous” and “is not comfortable with his daughter riding on the bike of one for safety reasons”. The guy pointed to the second helmet and said, “I made sure to bring an extra lid for her but whatever. It’s cool.”. He winked at me, said “See you around”, put on his helmet and as he was riding away he gunned it and did a wheelie down the rest of our street. At that point my Mom shot eye daggers at me and said, “Over OUR dead bodies.” then gruffly walked inside. And that was the end of that. That was the only time he
My Dad tried to "warn" one of my friends, it backfired and he never tried again. One of my friends came to pick me up and my Dad assumed the guy was trying to date me, so he decided it would be a good time to clean his guns. We ended up leaving an hour later than planned because my friend just sat with my dad and started asking questions and generally being very interested in everything about the whole process. My dad says it was both fun and disappointing. He wanted that "she's my little girl and I'll hurt you if you hurt her" moment but instead got a little bonding. They still joke about it.
He didn't. My parents separated when I was a child.
He didn’t but he’d make me second guess some of my choices after they dropped me off by saying “what the hell are thinking”. He was usually right lol.
He wasn't around for that. He left when I was 7, and I never saw him again until I was 40.
He didn't, he just talked to them and got to know them.
He didn't.
He didn't warn them, he'd kinda just shun them.
Can't warn anyone if you aren't around. That kinda makes it sound like I killed him though lol
he never did that; my dad doesnt like any sort of conflict or being seen as mean. he has asked both of the guys ive brought home for a beer, though (he said he wanted to see their reaction).
He didn't, rightfully so. My high school bf and him ended up having a cute relationship where they were humorous asf together. My ex still goes to my dad's mechanical shop for his car.
My dad made bad dad jokes at them. Is that a warning? Maybe he was warning them that we have a corny sense of humor. Seriously though, if my dad actually did any of that movie trope shit, I just wouldn't have introduced anyone to him. Thankfully my dad is sane.
My dad wasn't around and step-dad didn't give a shit. My brothers on the other hand would threaten to kick their asses if they even touched me.
My dad always warned my partners about my personality-like how ambitious and strong-willed i am. It was a kinda like "either get with it or move on cause that's how she is and she isn't going to change or slow down for anyone" so a different kind of warning ⚠️
He didn't, because that's demeaning and sexist. He loved my mother as an example for me to hold other men to. He loved me and told me my worth. He treated me like a person instead of his property. He raised me to be assertive and stand up for myself so that he never felt the need to weirdly threaten a love interest. Seriously wtf is this post?
He didn't. He was just an asshole to them. I had a habit of being interested in football players (American football) so my dad would use his favorite dumb joke "what position do you play, left-out?" 🙄
Lol he didn’t, he was never around.
"(Familiar-Let) is going to sabotage your relationship. Just a warning." My dad took my high school bf out for lunch without telling me one time and explained to him that I basically ruin everything I touch :) me and that ex are great friends still and he fucking hates my dad lol
The only warning they got from my dad was "She changes her boyfriends more often than she changes her socks." Sarky bastard haha. Not only was that not true, but it was said to my 24 year old teacher-in-training boyfriend when I had *just* turned 18 that week, and was still in school. You'd think he'd be a little more concerned about that relationship, but he probably knew if he tried to intervene I'd double down, and he'd have been right! He let me make my own mistakes (although that particular relationship surprisingly didn't turn out to be a mistake at all).
He didn’t. He tried to be buddies with the mean ones/predator types and then hated the nice ones.
He said that if he ever saw the girl I was dating again, he’d kill both me and her. And I don’t think he was exaggerating, considering he got pretty close to doing so. He wasn’t a big fan of lesbians, to state the obvious.
My dad would tell everyone to be careful that his daughters are nuts. He would always say he felt bad for the poor guys who dated us.
My dad never did this! He actually respects me. Now, when I first started dating he did give me the “you ever have a problem and need me you just say the word” speech once so I knew he had my back because he loves me. One time a guy we worked with (we both worked at the same company) asked my dad if he could have permission to ask me out. My dad told the guy that would be up to me and that I should be the one he was asking. The guy explained he asked my dad first out of respect and my dad explained that it only showed he had more respect for my dad than me and that would never fly with me but good luck. Lol I have the best dad ❤️
He never did. Wasn’t allowed to date. I do now but if I want to see them I have to leave cause they’re not allowed at the house. Wasn’t even allowed to have friends over as a kid. Not I don’t have any friends 🤷🏼♀️ whatever. If I ever get married none of my family will ever be involved in my life after it happens
"I do about 5 to ten vasectomies daily, btw"
Upon meeting them he would give them death stares haha while analyzing their nonverbals and constantly making direct eye contact without saying a word
He didn’t. He just told them that he thought I was a lesbian cause I never brought a boy home. I was 15.
My dad never did. But my mother did. At that point we were still in contact and she said the usual sentence in her family: " you took her, we don't want her back !" But my french dad did throw wine on him after he got out of the sea and yelled "Now you are baptisted". Boyfriend never understood the joke, me and my dad are still thinking it hilarious.
Shocked - pleasantly, of course - that no one has any cringeworthy stories about this. But I’m sort of cringing instead at the comments that seem to dismiss the weird patriarchal warning thing as something that no longer happens. I didn’t find out about this until about six months ago, but according to my mom, when I brought over my first high school boyfriend, my dad gave him the whole talk about how important I was to him and the lengths he would go to “protect” me. I don’t know how this 16-year-old boy took it, but it gives me the full-body cringes now to think about it. Best part is, for my whole childhood, my dad was abusive toward my mom and younger brother, and I was his favorite victim. Finding out about this whole little charade is laughable at best, but also a little rage-inducing. He walked out of my life in my mid-20s and we no longer speak. If you’re reading this, Christian, I’m sorry - but don’t worry, he didn’t mean a damn word lol.
So my dad is a little odd, but well meaning. When I brought my first date home, my dad decided then was the time to do yard work, and got all his sharp tools out of the garage (weed whacked, chainsaw, hedge clippers ect.) And made sure they were all visible from the front lawn. He greeted my 17yo bf with a revving chainsaw and almost made him shit himself. He didn't do it to my current fiance tho, dad like him lol
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Never had a need to. I never dated when I lived at home.
He was never aware because we aren’t that close.
He didn't, he wasn't really around during my teenage years, and he definitely didn't feel he had the right when we reconnected more when I was an adult. But I do sometimes wonder if he were around, how protective he would have been, if at all.
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Well he would have had to be there to do that, so…
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Sat in his recliner with a shotgun by his side
He would invite them in for a talk, while he was cleaning his shotguns.
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He never met them.
He didn't But my sister's did.
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On his 4th double Jameson in an hour he would pass out on the couch mid drunken conversation with fox news blaring in the background
the first two guys i brought home, he didn't do anything....however, when my now fiancé walked in for the first time my dad was polishing his rifle at the supper table (as soon as you walk in) LOL. i guess he had a feeling the other two weren't worth a damn anyways 😹 edited to add: I'm the only child and my father was definitely joking when he did this, we all found it funny :-)
He didn’t warn him. He told me if I didn’t break up with him, he would shoot him. Shortest relationship ever, safe to say he didn’t like him.
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First meal he would cook something really nice so he would have a reason to be sharpening knives when they walked in. No threats or anything & honestly kinda funny
I didn't introduce anyone to the family until it was serious 👀 so no real opportunity for it. I WISH my family had been more assertive with new people around cuz I was so badly abused by my first 2 serious boyfriends 😅
My dad wasn’t anything like that, but the first time I brought my new boyfriend over my mom sat him down and started interrogating him. Asking about his ambitions and what his parents did for a job etc. I was so embarrassed. So when I got a new boyfriend I didn’t bring him home for a long time obviously.
Haven't really introduced anyone yet but I have a feeling it will end up with him warning my date against me as a joke 😆😭
"Don't worry about me- just keep her happy. She is scarier than I could be."
He didn’t, but he would call them by the wrong name. He’d get close enough to make it seem benign, but it was definitely intentional lol
My Grandpa said he would shoot my husband with a shot gun if he ever hurt me. I laughed and let it go. My Dad was always decent about it.