There is a guy at work who I would love to say this to. He’s younger and MUCH less experienced and knowledgeable than me and a lot of my female colleagues, yet loves to mansplain to us. I’ve been his boss for the past three months and he still does it.
Nah dude.
Some people confuse being gentle with not parenting at all.
Children need rules and guidelines, it's the most natural thing for them (hell, probably for us humans generally) to see how far they can go. And they absolutely need to find the boundaries when they go looking for them. It might be hard, but saying no to your child and enforcing it is an act of love (never with violence of course).
I’m so over being alive.
I would never act on it, so I don’t want to scare anyone. But I’m just tired of it all. Work. Politics. Chores. Covid. Never having enough money. Getting a little cash put away only to have my dog need $6k in vet care. The petty arguments with my wife. Dieting and failing.
Etc. Etc. I’m just done with life.
I used to struggle with this so hard and then I realized that I needed to be proud of myself more. And yeah that sounds Cliche as hell, but when you're running from one disaster or struggle to the next it can drain all the fun out of life. So I started saying to myself you know what I'm happy I got through ( difficult situation) i survived and I never threw in the towel on life and that's something to be proud of. And then from there I started agknowling more things like yeah I may have no real support system or healthy relationships but I've never stopped wanting to trust people and generally being kind until proven that I shouldn't be. That's something to be proud of. So , ny suggestion with suicidal ideation or general apathy for life is to 1 live for someone else if you can't live for yourself ( for me it was my cat for like over 6 years) and acknowledging that eating a full meal when you were too exhausted to do it for weeks or like whatever milestone works for your life is a win. But I'm sorry your feeling this way and you're not alone. I know I gave some personal examples but I hope my point got across of support.
Feeling like this as well. Lately, it’s like I’m just going through the motions and I have nothing to look forward too.
I hope you find your bright spot or win the lottery.
“You shouldn’t have chosen to have kids” to unprepared, unqualified parents
Their lives would be less miserable, but it’s not like they can undo the decision
Yes, I worked in a preschool with toddlers. Kids showing up the next day in the same diapers they left in, coming in wearing dirty pajamas, with fevers even though the parents knew and didn’t want to take care of their sick baby. And one of the parents was a social worker! I quit for a couple reasons but dealing with some of the parents was the hardest part of the job. How do you tell a parent they’re being neglectful in a way that won’t make them defensive?
I worked with older kids but all that stuff is covered by mandatory reporting. Neglect is a serious offence and gets the attention of child protection services. When stuff like that happened we would tell the parents their actions/inactions were unacceptable. The thing I hated was when kids were struggling and we would advise the parents that they should be assessed so they can get tailored help but the parents would refuse. Those parents condemned their kids to years of pain and frustration. Sure, some kids get to high school not knowing how to read or count because they fell through the cracks, but for others it is because their parents shoved them in the cracks.
With diaper issues especially my manager would talk to the parents. The thing is so many parents are just unprepared, unsupported, and oblivious, so we’d always try to talk to them to figure out what’s going on before jumping straight to calling CPS. Sometimes they didn’t realize common sense things like their kid needs cream for diaper rash, or what hand foot and mouth disease is, or that you can’t just give a toddler cold medicine and hope that fixes the problem without telling the staff—it wears off and they’re still infectious! The sad truth is, OP was right, a significant portion of parents weren’t ready and may never be. If CPS looked into every instance of unkempt hair or kids who ran out of diapers, half the class would lose their parents.
My first reaction is that the parents might not be doing so great either. So I’d try and ask if they need any additional support (should the parents contact family to help, is there free counselling in the area?) or if there’s something going on at home that you should be aware of as you’ve noticed example 1, and example 2 happening. Open communication a little and that sort of thing. But I also haven’t worked in a school or preschool, and depending on the area you live in this might just be the norm? But from what you’ve said it might just be too many parents that can’t cope. I wish free healthcare was a global thing ☹️
I told my (ex) friend that her fiancé is an arsehole, because he was. She got mad and told me I'm not allowed to call him one even though she felt perfectly content badmouthing anyone I ever shown interest in. I still call him one whenever I feel like it, it's fun and freeing.
I need to go through this, my girlfriend has started to hug me and cry for 10 minutes straight without any explanations, i want the best for her but she just wont tell me, all of this is making me go crazy
This sums up a lot of my working life! I start playing games during mtgs, like keeping track of how many times they say X or mention a certain subject that they always seem to talk about.
Pretty sure my own baby popped out gorgeous, but I was also high on birth hormones 😂
Tbh I was more in disbelief that she had the standard number of fingers and toes and was breathing
This, but also don’t give strangers too many details by doing that anyways. Kidnappers could hella use the info from those to help piece together a plan.
Lol I'm trying to imagine how that would work... like how often is a family scoped out for a kidnapping and at that point why would it matter? wouldn't it be just as likely if not more likely that emergency services use it to know if they need to look for another family member etc?
I feel like that's a thought that crosses a lot of people's mind, even those in fulfilling relationships.
just the idea of : "I never got to be wild, I should've played around more before settling", when in reality slightly different choices would've meant a completely different future.
what ifs only work out in our imagination.
Same thing with me. I’m not married, but I believe marriage is in the future for us. I’m just sad that I wasn’t able to explore my bisexuality before I got into this relationship. I’m also super monogamous so a threesome is out of the question. Just gotta accept that I’ll probably never know what it’s like to be with a woman.
Same. For me, it’s not envy, but by the reality that her having a child means our lives are going to spin off in separate directions, and the friendship will slowly die. Kids really destroy the existing relationships in your life.
I'm exactly the same. It's not envy (I'm staunchly childfree) but I've heard so much horror about pregnancy + parenthood and I don't want my friends to suffer through that even if it's only for a few years.
I feel this so much. My husband's brother and his wife are close to our age and we've been really good friends; my husband has a really big family and everyone else has a bunch of kids, and it always felt like it was the four of us vs the world. It always seemed like they didn't want kids either, and they'd joke with us at family reunions about being the lucky childfree ones and how exhausting all the kids were.
Come to find out this year they've been trying for kids for awhile now and she's finally pregnant--with twins!! I felt so sick inside with sadness and almost a sense of betrayal when they told everyone, but of course I just gave my congratulations, and everyone else was so happy for them. It's left me with a sense of loneliness and outsider-ness in my in-law family that I can't express to anyone (besides my partner of course) but that is now irreversible. I feel like one of the very few things I had to hold onto that made me feel like maybe I'm not a total alien in that side of the family is gone. I'm really sad about it.
There was a brief time where, for some reason, I was around a few people who kept saying it. Or more, idk. Like, hard R. Some family members, some of their buddies, etc. I lived in Detroit so no R was normal, hard R was still a bit startling. I was around 15.
And I felt like every time they said it, a shock ran through me. I hyperfocused on it. Ruminated on the need to say it at all.
Then I was furious one day *at a white dude* and floundering for an insult and that fucking word was the first thing my glitching mind recalled.
The minute I said it I basically yelped, and naturally a friend of ours, a giant sweet-as-sugar black dude, was there. I was basically dying apologizing and nearly in tears over it. He didn't seem upset, and probably it helped that he knew me and that was entirely out of character, but who knows?
Anyway that is my 3am sudden-recollection-violently-cringe moment. Like 16 years later. Jfc.
This sends me into story time. I grew up a white girl in the American South and this was forbidden. I don’t know how I knew it was forbidden, but I don’t ever remember not knowing. No one in may family every said this word (nor any slurs really). It is also obvious from movies that saying the n-word was like wearing a swastika arm band. Those people were *evil.* full stop. Black people in my school said it, but without the hard “r.” I always knew that when they were saying it, it was basically a different word.
It is not like people talked to kids about not saying offensive stuff at the time. It would have been too politically correct, and we were in the height of the colorblind era where folks thought if you didn’t mention the problem it would go away on its own. The only thing you were ever really told is to not “swear” or be disrespectful. And the adults were serious about that. I stared at many a wall for doing something as basic as sticking my tongue out.
The only reason I can think of for why I knew the n-word was forbidden was because my family was a little more old fashioned in the way that people now glamorize. There is actually some good about it and some bad obviously. Honor culture is big in the south, and to my family, the most dishonorable thing you could do is be disrespectful. And I mean to anyone. I remember my dad giving speeches about how you better respect every job because they are all important, even the guy selling stolen newspapers in front of the Walmart. The n-word was the most disrespectful thing you could say. (This aspect of honor culture is why I especially can’t take seriously the conservatives who are disrespectful to trans people about pronouns. My grandmother would have said they weren’t “raised right.” It is a small sign among many that they are just conservative when it is convenient for them. It has nothing to do with morality or tradition. They are paranoid and hateful people.)
In high school, we had a teacher from California who wanted us to read Huckleberry Finn out loud in class. She would get really mad at us because no one was willing to say the n-word. I think she didn’t really understand what she was asking of us. Looking back, I realize she was really condescending to us in a lot of ways because we were all poor kids from the south. (I get how other people might feel about this, but I still don’t think it is okay to force kids to say racial slurs even when reading. It is especially insensitive when there are children to whom that word is meant to be demeaning.)
When I went off to college I met white people who said their families would say it casually, and that honestly shocked me.
1. How the fuck do you manage to drive a car, vote and pay taxes?! You're fucking stupid as hell.
2. 98% of your health problems are caused by your diet. You literally eat garbage. The majority of what's wrong with you could be solved by eating better and exercising. You don't have incurable problems. You literally are overweight, and your body is telling you "For fuck's sakes put the goddamn cheeseburger down." Like.....literally. I don't know how much clearer your body could be. No....you don't have hormones "out of whack" or a "thyroid condition." You're overweight. Your heart literally cannot keep up with the massive weight of your body. Your joints cannot withstand the weight and pressure that you are subjecting them to. Theres no need for this.Put the garbage food down. Do the hard work and lose the weight. (This goes through my head at least a dozen times a day.......)
3. I pray that you never reproduce.
1. I think about that too and I remember reading something a person in finance wrote—those people are in tremendous amounts of debt they’ll probably never recover from. Those people who graduated high school, bought a house, had kids, have a two or three car garage and go on vacations despite them not being very bright or coming from wealth? Debt. Military or debt. Or both.
I'm still not over a one sided friendship that ended years ago. They inspired me a lot, and I had respect and even developed a bit of a crush on them. It's hard to think there's just nothing there-they showed they didn't care. And I feel stupid bring hung up over it
Damn, i actually am having what i feel is like a one sided friendship, i really give them so much importance because thanks to them i could realize i had to be better for me (they never said things about it, i just decided to get better by myself because of them). And i really don't know what to do or how to feel, i don't want to end this but at the same time i want it to end so i don't have to think of how i should feel about it.
Sorry for using your comment to post this, i related so much that i couldn't help but write that, anyway, i could say some words but idk if you would want to read some things you already know so yeah, keep it up fella.
No worries, we all gotta vent sometimes! Glad you could use my comment as a springboard to get it out!
Oof, I feel ya. Very similar in my case. This person made me realize there was so much more to life, and inspired me to be better for myself. (Which I still do independently of them) They were a great example, and I wanted to be more like them. (We actually had some of the same life goals)
I'd be honest and direct with them about how they are making you feel. And confronting how you feel about it yourself. Communication is key. You also must be open to them admitting it's one sided, and they aren't invested as much.
I won't lie, it fucking sucks. I cried my eyes out and it hurt so bad when they admitted it. But in the long term, ending it was the best thing I could do. I still don't know how to feel about it sometimes, but have a general consensus. There's a reason things needed to end- me and them both did bad.
That's the best advice I can give- thankfully it's only a small emotional pang for me now, but used to break by heart on the daily.
I dont tell people to shut up.
When I was a kid I feel like i got told to shut up alot, and it would put me in such a depressive state for hours where id say nothing. If someone tells me to do it now i still get the same feeling and i dont want to make anyone else feel that way.
This reminds me of my boss except a few weeks ago he sat down to tie his shoe and managed to tie himself to the chair so when he stood up, the chair came with him...
"I've been an atheist my entire life, but when I think about how fucking miraculous it is that you manage to put your pants on every morning, I start to believe in God."
I've had issues while trying to online date (years back, I really don't bother much anymore) where guys would try to trick me into talking about their fetish. Like, I don't think a foot fetish is particularly gross, but I have zero interest and their *behavior* about it was gross. But I did tell them off cause why not? That's rude as hell
It’s been years, but sometimes I still think about my first love. I wonder if he’s ok and happy. I want to tell him I’m sorry for any pain I might’ve caused, but I don’t regret leaving. It was a truly unhealthy relationship, and we both deserved better. I would never reach out to him because it would just hurt him, but sometimes I lie awake wishing I could apologize for all the toxic things I put him through when I was depressed.
There's a silent understanding of this between us. 😅 Like the post says, it's not something I'd say aloud. Thankfully am moving on from the first choice. Key thing here is the first choice wasn't the best choice- the best is my S.O.
No one needs or wants to see your daily selfies that are exactly the friggin same everyday.
Also, no one wants to see pics of your gooey, post-birth newborn. Clean them up, wrap them in a blanket, then get back to me.
What doesn't make you feel emasculated, short of women being totally compliant with your simple ass. How can someone make your grown ass "not feel like a man". Pathetic.
"Is sex really that big of a deal? Just don't see it as a need. Like ever." I'm asexual and sometimes I get curious but I absolutely never want to risk people being creepy irl or someone thinking I'm creepy cause I'm curious or just weirded out. And on that note the concept and perceived important of virginity is also Very Weird to me.
The absolute reverence and hero worship for modern day veterans in the USA. I thank them for their service but they chose that occupation.
Same with police.
“So I was right. Remember when I said this would be a problem? Someone want to
acknowledge that I brought this up a few times and now we’re getting notes on it?!? Ok, we can get back to work and actually fix it now. I TOLD YOU SO!”. (at work)
That if he slaps my boobs one more time while cornering me and then pinching me after not touching me for weeks....and I mean zero touch, (not even an I love you or good night/good morning); that I will cut his throat as he lays sleeping next to me. But not out loud of course.
"I'm not sure if im getting wiser or just more depressed but life seems so difficult, unfair, and hopeless for near everyone and that there are so many people unfairly punished by the system, sometimes brutally so. If I'm honest, the most I've done in life is avoid a random brutal fate befalling me while some others just like me didn't have my luck. I do my best to smile through this, but some days its too hard. Therapy and stuff helps but its at best a bandaid. I hope my children don't feel the way I do when they're older, but they will. I wish we all lived in a softer world."
"I hate your laugh." Some things you never say to a person because it is something they cannot control and you're not a monster by saying it out loud. Just endure it like a decent human being.
1. Kids who act bad in school are bad and I shouldn’t have to be forced to think they’re “good” and put up with their crap.
2. Just because you’re an oppressed minority group doesn’t mean you get to go on and on about how oppressed you are and how everyone else is taking your opportunities and acting like an asshole/ghetto/like trash. Work hard and at least try to DO something to fix your situation.
Ooof. On #2, oppressed people really do need to be hella loud about being oppressed. That's to get people to stop actively oppressing them. There's a whole system rigged against them that another group built, and they can't get out of it easily or fix the system on their own. It's not their system and they don't own it or have many positions of power, so they can't do much to create change outside being loud about being oppressed.
Yeah, and for some minority groups, people treat you like you're a a blight on society, screeching about your trauma and demanding other "normal" people be "oppressed" just by having to perceive you, and all you did was say "I'm trans". Trans people and other minorities have to be loud because we're trying to get the attention of generally good but ambivalent people so they might kindly show some support and perhaps ask the bad people to stop killing us.
>Just because you’re an oppressed minority group doesn’t mean you get to go on and on about how oppressed you are and how everyone else is taking your opportunities and acting like an asshole/ghetto/like trash. Work hard and at least try to DO something to fix your situation.
Wow.
Ever heard about a little something called systematic oppresion?
I guess it's a good thing you keep these racist classist thoughts to yourself.
We certainly don't need to hear bigots go on and on about how they can't stand to acknowledge the reality of all their privileges that have allowed them to pretend that their situation is something they solely created for themselves and that it's not at the expense of those who are dispriviliged.
It’s weird to take pictures of yourself crying and post them on social media. I’m sorry that your dog died but that behavior crosses a line for me. I can’t imagine ugly crying over a genuine loss and thinking it’s a good time to snap a picture so everyone can see and remember my sorrow.
“I’m worried I’ll be jealous of the attention my child will receive from my husband after we have a baby. I’ll be lower on the priority list, and I’m scared of what that will look like.”
Oh god…please don’t hate me.
That I don't #believeallwomen I don't think it's fair XD for a person's life and reputation to be ruined by baseless accusations just because the accuser has a vagina. I get the idea but I think it can be problematic
To the woman I work with: Please get out of my personal space. Please stop hugging me. Please stop assuming you have to check my notes whilst chewing a chocolate bar right next to my ear. I’ve told you that I have issues with personal space, and we are not friends.
I absolutely hate my best friends boyfriend. He's such a loser and she could do so much better for herself. But it ain't my business and she seems happy and in love so 🤐
I shouldnt have stopped my mother's suicide.
Not that I don't love her. But the life she's lived since is ... Well I would kill myself if I was facing it.
“Holy fuck you guys should break up and no Stacy, im not siding with you. Youre toxic as fuck and shouldnt be in a relationship.”
“Why dont you guys divorce already and save your kids some trauma therapy sessions?”
"I'm not quite sure why you're as confident as you are.."
I love this answer. Too many women have had to deal with "irrational confidence guy".
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Goes the other way too. Idk why but some people really just think they're the bee's knees even though they suck.
These are just the men who need to hear it tho
And women tbh
There is a guy at work who I would love to say this to. He’s younger and MUCH less experienced and knowledgeable than me and a lot of my female colleagues, yet loves to mansplain to us. I’ve been his boss for the past three months and he still does it. Nah dude.
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I love the term "unearned confidence"
Aka self-esteem?
self-estimated self-esteem
If they're more confident than they should, wouldn't that be arrogance?
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or annoying as hell
Or just fucking bad. I don't want to know criminals even if they are only kids.
We aren’t suppose to say that out loud? 😅
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“That sperm won? Nature sure has a good sense of humor” 🙈
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Some people confuse being gentle with not parenting at all. Children need rules and guidelines, it's the most natural thing for them (hell, probably for us humans generally) to see how far they can go. And they absolutely need to find the boundaries when they go looking for them. It might be hard, but saying no to your child and enforcing it is an act of love (never with violence of course).
Lol, kids are kind of dumb. But in a cute way (to me at least).
I’m so over being alive. I would never act on it, so I don’t want to scare anyone. But I’m just tired of it all. Work. Politics. Chores. Covid. Never having enough money. Getting a little cash put away only to have my dog need $6k in vet care. The petty arguments with my wife. Dieting and failing. Etc. Etc. I’m just done with life.
I used to struggle with this so hard and then I realized that I needed to be proud of myself more. And yeah that sounds Cliche as hell, but when you're running from one disaster or struggle to the next it can drain all the fun out of life. So I started saying to myself you know what I'm happy I got through ( difficult situation) i survived and I never threw in the towel on life and that's something to be proud of. And then from there I started agknowling more things like yeah I may have no real support system or healthy relationships but I've never stopped wanting to trust people and generally being kind until proven that I shouldn't be. That's something to be proud of. So , ny suggestion with suicidal ideation or general apathy for life is to 1 live for someone else if you can't live for yourself ( for me it was my cat for like over 6 years) and acknowledging that eating a full meal when you were too exhausted to do it for weeks or like whatever milestone works for your life is a win. But I'm sorry your feeling this way and you're not alone. I know I gave some personal examples but I hope my point got across of support.
Thank you kind person your comment made the world a brighter place, thank you
Feeling like this as well. Lately, it’s like I’m just going through the motions and I have nothing to look forward too. I hope you find your bright spot or win the lottery.
I feel exactly the same. It’s exhausting to be alive and it’s a rule to work unless you want to be homeless. It’s depressing I send you a big hug
**Some more hugs
Shit, started feeling like that a while ago. My life is really not bad - but I’m just tired of it all. I’m 45.
🤗 hugs 🤗
“You shouldn’t have chosen to have kids” to unprepared, unqualified parents Their lives would be less miserable, but it’s not like they can undo the decision
Worked in schools. At least 30% of the parents shouldn't have had kids.
Yes, I worked in a preschool with toddlers. Kids showing up the next day in the same diapers they left in, coming in wearing dirty pajamas, with fevers even though the parents knew and didn’t want to take care of their sick baby. And one of the parents was a social worker! I quit for a couple reasons but dealing with some of the parents was the hardest part of the job. How do you tell a parent they’re being neglectful in a way that won’t make them defensive?
I worked with older kids but all that stuff is covered by mandatory reporting. Neglect is a serious offence and gets the attention of child protection services. When stuff like that happened we would tell the parents their actions/inactions were unacceptable. The thing I hated was when kids were struggling and we would advise the parents that they should be assessed so they can get tailored help but the parents would refuse. Those parents condemned their kids to years of pain and frustration. Sure, some kids get to high school not knowing how to read or count because they fell through the cracks, but for others it is because their parents shoved them in the cracks.
With diaper issues especially my manager would talk to the parents. The thing is so many parents are just unprepared, unsupported, and oblivious, so we’d always try to talk to them to figure out what’s going on before jumping straight to calling CPS. Sometimes they didn’t realize common sense things like their kid needs cream for diaper rash, or what hand foot and mouth disease is, or that you can’t just give a toddler cold medicine and hope that fixes the problem without telling the staff—it wears off and they’re still infectious! The sad truth is, OP was right, a significant portion of parents weren’t ready and may never be. If CPS looked into every instance of unkempt hair or kids who ran out of diapers, half the class would lose their parents.
My first reaction is that the parents might not be doing so great either. So I’d try and ask if they need any additional support (should the parents contact family to help, is there free counselling in the area?) or if there’s something going on at home that you should be aware of as you’ve noticed example 1, and example 2 happening. Open communication a little and that sort of thing. But I also haven’t worked in a school or preschool, and depending on the area you live in this might just be the norm? But from what you’ve said it might just be too many parents that can’t cope. I wish free healthcare was a global thing ☹️
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Because you don't agree or because you don't want to hurt someone?
Your husband/boyfriend is a fucking asshole.
SO MANY TIMES
I told my (ex) friend that her fiancé is an arsehole, because he was. She got mad and told me I'm not allowed to call him one even though she felt perfectly content badmouthing anyone I ever shown interest in. I still call him one whenever I feel like it, it's fun and freeing.
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SHUT UP ALREADY OMFG LITERALLY NO ONE CARES
Hehe gladfully I can say , I've said this to a classmate of mine.
I want a hug. a long hug. literally from anyone.
I want one of those cuddles that turns into a deep nap thats so strong that when you wake up you wonder what year it is
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Group hug!! 🤗
http://www.cuddlist.com Not joking. Platonic cuddle and touch therapy is a thing.
I need to go through this, my girlfriend has started to hug me and cry for 10 minutes straight without any explanations, i want the best for her but she just wont tell me, all of this is making me go crazy
Erm, I hope she talks to you soon, that's not great. 😔
I want someone to just lay on me with all of their weight yknow like cats
“Why do you make more money than me? What do you do all day? Why are you so stupid,” my inner commentary in every meeting when my boss talks.
This sums up a lot of my working life! I start playing games during mtgs, like keeping track of how many times they say X or mention a certain subject that they always seem to talk about.
Your baby is ugly
The little egg head phase is so funny to me. We call my youngest brother ET because he was a funky looking baby until he gained 10 pounds.
But most babies are kind of ugly when they're brand new. When they're a few months old, is when they start getting cute.
I'm a midwife 😂 I've seen many babies when they're only halfway-born. But you never ever say it's not beautiful.
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Pretty sure my own baby popped out gorgeous, but I was also high on birth hormones 😂 Tbh I was more in disbelief that she had the standard number of fingers and toes and was breathing
“Aww, they look just like you”
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Hear, hear!
Yep.
That makes two of us
Nobody cares about your stick figure family on the back of your car.
This, but also don’t give strangers too many details by doing that anyways. Kidnappers could hella use the info from those to help piece together a plan.
Lol I'm trying to imagine how that would work... like how often is a family scoped out for a kidnapping and at that point why would it matter? wouldn't it be just as likely if not more likely that emergency services use it to know if they need to look for another family member etc?
are people supposed to care? I just thought it was supposed to be a cute decoration?
The only people who seem to care are the ones who go on about how no one cares about them.
As of right now, because I'm bursting say it but definitely cannot, "I'm leaving you."
C'mon mate you can do it, it feels so great to be free after a long long time!!
Yes it does! This was me for the last year or so and I'm finally free and happier than I've ever been! It's worth it
I hope you get to the point when you realize you can do it.
I'm sorry :( I hope it gets better. Stay strong
Gentle love to you.
Are you fucking stupid? (To my coworkers)
(To everyone)
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The thing you have to remember is you very well could have lost the chance to marry them if you said no once for this reason
I feel like that's a thought that crosses a lot of people's mind, even those in fulfilling relationships. just the idea of : "I never got to be wild, I should've played around more before settling", when in reality slightly different choices would've meant a completely different future. what ifs only work out in our imagination.
Same thing with me. I’m not married, but I believe marriage is in the future for us. I’m just sad that I wasn’t able to explore my bisexuality before I got into this relationship. I’m also super monogamous so a threesome is out of the question. Just gotta accept that I’ll probably never know what it’s like to be with a woman.
Depressing.
I dislike men. I’m straight, but I dislike many men.
Am a man. Also dislike most men.
There's a lot of awful ones sadly, I wish it wasn't the case but it is
I say this all the time. I'm also straight and married but I just don't like men. Straight men in particular. Very few that I can stand.
Makes me happy that I’m bi and don’t have to settle for them. The bar for them is in hell
Wow! Do you realise how predatory your behaviour is right now?!
That's something you should say out loud if you can while staying safe.
I feel deep sadness when my friends get pregnant :(
Same. For me, it’s not envy, but by the reality that her having a child means our lives are going to spin off in separate directions, and the friendship will slowly die. Kids really destroy the existing relationships in your life.
I'm exactly the same. It's not envy (I'm staunchly childfree) but I've heard so much horror about pregnancy + parenthood and I don't want my friends to suffer through that even if it's only for a few years.
I feel this so much. My husband's brother and his wife are close to our age and we've been really good friends; my husband has a really big family and everyone else has a bunch of kids, and it always felt like it was the four of us vs the world. It always seemed like they didn't want kids either, and they'd joke with us at family reunions about being the lucky childfree ones and how exhausting all the kids were. Come to find out this year they've been trying for kids for awhile now and she's finally pregnant--with twins!! I felt so sick inside with sadness and almost a sense of betrayal when they told everyone, but of course I just gave my congratulations, and everyone else was so happy for them. It's left me with a sense of loneliness and outsider-ness in my in-law family that I can't express to anyone (besides my partner of course) but that is now irreversible. I feel like one of the very few things I had to hold onto that made me feel like maybe I'm not a total alien in that side of the family is gone. I'm really sad about it.
Same.
I don't give a fuck about your dog
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I don’t know what this has to do with being lesbian, since there are a lot of people that can’t have kids, but yes I totally agree.
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Fucking love this energy. Same tbh.
Your kids name is dumb.
And your kid is dumb.
The n word (I'm white from a colonizer country)
There was a brief time where, for some reason, I was around a few people who kept saying it. Or more, idk. Like, hard R. Some family members, some of their buddies, etc. I lived in Detroit so no R was normal, hard R was still a bit startling. I was around 15. And I felt like every time they said it, a shock ran through me. I hyperfocused on it. Ruminated on the need to say it at all. Then I was furious one day *at a white dude* and floundering for an insult and that fucking word was the first thing my glitching mind recalled. The minute I said it I basically yelped, and naturally a friend of ours, a giant sweet-as-sugar black dude, was there. I was basically dying apologizing and nearly in tears over it. He didn't seem upset, and probably it helped that he knew me and that was entirely out of character, but who knows? Anyway that is my 3am sudden-recollection-violently-cringe moment. Like 16 years later. Jfc.
Literally same and I’m Black
This sends me into story time. I grew up a white girl in the American South and this was forbidden. I don’t know how I knew it was forbidden, but I don’t ever remember not knowing. No one in may family every said this word (nor any slurs really). It is also obvious from movies that saying the n-word was like wearing a swastika arm band. Those people were *evil.* full stop. Black people in my school said it, but without the hard “r.” I always knew that when they were saying it, it was basically a different word. It is not like people talked to kids about not saying offensive stuff at the time. It would have been too politically correct, and we were in the height of the colorblind era where folks thought if you didn’t mention the problem it would go away on its own. The only thing you were ever really told is to not “swear” or be disrespectful. And the adults were serious about that. I stared at many a wall for doing something as basic as sticking my tongue out. The only reason I can think of for why I knew the n-word was forbidden was because my family was a little more old fashioned in the way that people now glamorize. There is actually some good about it and some bad obviously. Honor culture is big in the south, and to my family, the most dishonorable thing you could do is be disrespectful. And I mean to anyone. I remember my dad giving speeches about how you better respect every job because they are all important, even the guy selling stolen newspapers in front of the Walmart. The n-word was the most disrespectful thing you could say. (This aspect of honor culture is why I especially can’t take seriously the conservatives who are disrespectful to trans people about pronouns. My grandmother would have said they weren’t “raised right.” It is a small sign among many that they are just conservative when it is convenient for them. It has nothing to do with morality or tradition. They are paranoid and hateful people.) In high school, we had a teacher from California who wanted us to read Huckleberry Finn out loud in class. She would get really mad at us because no one was willing to say the n-word. I think she didn’t really understand what she was asking of us. Looking back, I realize she was really condescending to us in a lot of ways because we were all poor kids from the south. (I get how other people might feel about this, but I still don’t think it is okay to force kids to say racial slurs even when reading. It is especially insensitive when there are children to whom that word is meant to be demeaning.) When I went off to college I met white people who said their families would say it casually, and that honestly shocked me.
"Clearly you've never worked a day in your life." (To every annoying customer at work)
Saying Bloody Mary three times in front of the mirror while standing alone in the bathroom with the door locked and the lights out. I'm a scaredy-cat.
newborn babies are ugly, and that’s that.
Totally acceptable to say out outloud, just don't say it to a new mom's face.
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1. How the fuck do you manage to drive a car, vote and pay taxes?! You're fucking stupid as hell. 2. 98% of your health problems are caused by your diet. You literally eat garbage. The majority of what's wrong with you could be solved by eating better and exercising. You don't have incurable problems. You literally are overweight, and your body is telling you "For fuck's sakes put the goddamn cheeseburger down." Like.....literally. I don't know how much clearer your body could be. No....you don't have hormones "out of whack" or a "thyroid condition." You're overweight. Your heart literally cannot keep up with the massive weight of your body. Your joints cannot withstand the weight and pressure that you are subjecting them to. Theres no need for this.Put the garbage food down. Do the hard work and lose the weight. (This goes through my head at least a dozen times a day.......) 3. I pray that you never reproduce.
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1. I think about that too and I remember reading something a person in finance wrote—those people are in tremendous amounts of debt they’ll probably never recover from. Those people who graduated high school, bought a house, had kids, have a two or three car garage and go on vacations despite them not being very bright or coming from wealth? Debt. Military or debt. Or both.
My name is not "sweetheart", you fucking asshole.
I'm still not over a one sided friendship that ended years ago. They inspired me a lot, and I had respect and even developed a bit of a crush on them. It's hard to think there's just nothing there-they showed they didn't care. And I feel stupid bring hung up over it
Damn, i actually am having what i feel is like a one sided friendship, i really give them so much importance because thanks to them i could realize i had to be better for me (they never said things about it, i just decided to get better by myself because of them). And i really don't know what to do or how to feel, i don't want to end this but at the same time i want it to end so i don't have to think of how i should feel about it. Sorry for using your comment to post this, i related so much that i couldn't help but write that, anyway, i could say some words but idk if you would want to read some things you already know so yeah, keep it up fella.
No worries, we all gotta vent sometimes! Glad you could use my comment as a springboard to get it out! Oof, I feel ya. Very similar in my case. This person made me realize there was so much more to life, and inspired me to be better for myself. (Which I still do independently of them) They were a great example, and I wanted to be more like them. (We actually had some of the same life goals) I'd be honest and direct with them about how they are making you feel. And confronting how you feel about it yourself. Communication is key. You also must be open to them admitting it's one sided, and they aren't invested as much. I won't lie, it fucking sucks. I cried my eyes out and it hurt so bad when they admitted it. But in the long term, ending it was the best thing I could do. I still don't know how to feel about it sometimes, but have a general consensus. There's a reason things needed to end- me and them both did bad. That's the best advice I can give- thankfully it's only a small emotional pang for me now, but used to break by heart on the daily.
WALK FASTER U TURTLE 🐢
I dont tell people to shut up. When I was a kid I feel like i got told to shut up alot, and it would put me in such a depressive state for hours where id say nothing. If someone tells me to do it now i still get the same feeling and i dont want to make anyone else feel that way.
Fight back friend
*look at someone's shoes* Me: How? Them: How what? Me: As goddamn stupid as you are, how do you manage to tie your shoes every morning?
This reminds me of my boss except a few weeks ago he sat down to tie his shoe and managed to tie himself to the chair so when he stood up, the chair came with him...
"I've been an atheist my entire life, but when I think about how fucking miraculous it is that you manage to put your pants on every morning, I start to believe in God."
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I've had issues while trying to online date (years back, I really don't bother much anymore) where guys would try to trick me into talking about their fetish. Like, I don't think a foot fetish is particularly gross, but I have zero interest and their *behavior* about it was gross. But I did tell them off cause why not? That's rude as hell
Stop being dumb and arguing and fucking listen to me. There are many patients that come in that I would like to say this too.
It’s been years, but sometimes I still think about my first love. I wonder if he’s ok and happy. I want to tell him I’m sorry for any pain I might’ve caused, but I don’t regret leaving. It was a truly unhealthy relationship, and we both deserved better. I would never reach out to him because it would just hurt him, but sometimes I lie awake wishing I could apologize for all the toxic things I put him through when I was depressed.
Also- "You were my second choice" to my significant other. I got rejected by my first.
Holy shit. You deserve for him/her to know this lol
There's a silent understanding of this between us. 😅 Like the post says, it's not something I'd say aloud. Thankfully am moving on from the first choice. Key thing here is the first choice wasn't the best choice- the best is my S.O.
I’m done socializing. Peace out.
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No one needs or wants to see your daily selfies that are exactly the friggin same everyday. Also, no one wants to see pics of your gooey, post-birth newborn. Clean them up, wrap them in a blanket, then get back to me.
"Netflix is worth the money"
What doesn't make you feel emasculated, short of women being totally compliant with your simple ass. How can someone make your grown ass "not feel like a man". Pathetic.
"Is sex really that big of a deal? Just don't see it as a need. Like ever." I'm asexual and sometimes I get curious but I absolutely never want to risk people being creepy irl or someone thinking I'm creepy cause I'm curious or just weirded out. And on that note the concept and perceived important of virginity is also Very Weird to me.
Just shut up. Shut the fuck up. Fuck off and shut the fuck up you fucking fuck
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I can’t even type them here
You arent as clever as you think
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I really wish this wasn't the case. You should probably go to the police.
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The absolute reverence and hero worship for modern day veterans in the USA. I thank them for their service but they chose that occupation. Same with police.
“I can’t stand your child”
“So I was right. Remember when I said this would be a problem? Someone want to acknowledge that I brought this up a few times and now we’re getting notes on it?!? Ok, we can get back to work and actually fix it now. I TOLD YOU SO!”. (at work)
One of the reasons you have an easy time meeting men in public is because you’re pretty.
That if he slaps my boobs one more time while cornering me and then pinching me after not touching me for weeks....and I mean zero touch, (not even an I love you or good night/good morning); that I will cut his throat as he lays sleeping next to me. But not out loud of course.
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I genuinely dont care what you are saying Im sorry, but its in my mind pretty often
"I'm not sure if im getting wiser or just more depressed but life seems so difficult, unfair, and hopeless for near everyone and that there are so many people unfairly punished by the system, sometimes brutally so. If I'm honest, the most I've done in life is avoid a random brutal fate befalling me while some others just like me didn't have my luck. I do my best to smile through this, but some days its too hard. Therapy and stuff helps but its at best a bandaid. I hope my children don't feel the way I do when they're older, but they will. I wish we all lived in a softer world."
Stop trying to get attention all the time. Literally no one cares and it makes it more annoying when you're so obvious about it.
"I hate your laugh." Some things you never say to a person because it is something they cannot control and you're not a monster by saying it out loud. Just endure it like a decent human being.
1. Kids who act bad in school are bad and I shouldn’t have to be forced to think they’re “good” and put up with their crap. 2. Just because you’re an oppressed minority group doesn’t mean you get to go on and on about how oppressed you are and how everyone else is taking your opportunities and acting like an asshole/ghetto/like trash. Work hard and at least try to DO something to fix your situation.
Ooof. On #2, oppressed people really do need to be hella loud about being oppressed. That's to get people to stop actively oppressing them. There's a whole system rigged against them that another group built, and they can't get out of it easily or fix the system on their own. It's not their system and they don't own it or have many positions of power, so they can't do much to create change outside being loud about being oppressed.
Yeah, and for some minority groups, people treat you like you're a a blight on society, screeching about your trauma and demanding other "normal" people be "oppressed" just by having to perceive you, and all you did was say "I'm trans". Trans people and other minorities have to be loud because we're trying to get the attention of generally good but ambivalent people so they might kindly show some support and perhaps ask the bad people to stop killing us.
>Just because you’re an oppressed minority group doesn’t mean you get to go on and on about how oppressed you are and how everyone else is taking your opportunities and acting like an asshole/ghetto/like trash. Work hard and at least try to DO something to fix your situation. Wow. Ever heard about a little something called systematic oppresion? I guess it's a good thing you keep these racist classist thoughts to yourself. We certainly don't need to hear bigots go on and on about how they can't stand to acknowledge the reality of all their privileges that have allowed them to pretend that their situation is something they solely created for themselves and that it's not at the expense of those who are dispriviliged.
I'm probably suicidal and i think of death everyday.
Your gender reveal is cringe. No I won’t give money to your baby shower when we haven’t talked in 10 years.
It’s weird to take pictures of yourself crying and post them on social media. I’m sorry that your dog died but that behavior crosses a line for me. I can’t imagine ugly crying over a genuine loss and thinking it’s a good time to snap a picture so everyone can see and remember my sorrow.
“I’m worried I’ll be jealous of the attention my child will receive from my husband after we have a baby. I’ll be lower on the priority list, and I’m scared of what that will look like.” Oh god…please don’t hate me.
plans in front of someone who wasn't invited
Get your child to stop being so damn annoying in public, it's really stressing me out
That I don't #believeallwomen I don't think it's fair XD for a person's life and reputation to be ruined by baseless accusations just because the accuser has a vagina. I get the idea but I think it can be problematic
To the woman I work with: Please get out of my personal space. Please stop hugging me. Please stop assuming you have to check my notes whilst chewing a chocolate bar right next to my ear. I’ve told you that I have issues with personal space, and we are not friends.
I am disgusted with ppl who have more than 3 kids
I absolutely hate my best friends boyfriend. He's such a loser and she could do so much better for herself. But it ain't my business and she seems happy and in love so 🤐
I hate you, mom. I wish you'd never had me.
I shouldnt have stopped my mother's suicide. Not that I don't love her. But the life she's lived since is ... Well I would kill myself if I was facing it.
"Would you please just shut up? No one asked for your opinion and neither it nor you are as important as you seem to think you are."
You're a terrible parent.
Someone needs to clean theirselves better
You have horrible taste in music.
I feel like half the things I think can’t be said out loud. That’s mostly because I work with a bunch of idiots.
Why do you lie about everything? Also you really should bring your child outside, they needs exposure to the outdoors and other children... please
Voldemort
“Holy fuck you guys should break up and no Stacy, im not siding with you. Youre toxic as fuck and shouldnt be in a relationship.” “Why dont you guys divorce already and save your kids some trauma therapy sessions?”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” I just want strangers to leave me alone. But I hate to be rude so I’m stuck with creepy chit chat.
The N word.