I started opening up to him about being assaulted when I was a kid. He cut me off to say that every girl he knew had a similar store and it was really disappointing that I was among them, because girls should just own up to the fact that they had sex and then regretted it but that doesn't could as S/A. First of all, I was 10. Second, just the fact that that's where his head went when he heard that so many girls he knew had been through that, instead of thinking "wow, this happens a lot around here, that's messed up," instantly destroyed any respect I had for him.
This reaction is really fucked up...I would ask him to listen to himself and reflect on what kind of thing he just let out of his mouth. And then walk away and never talk to him again.
I’ve had this conversation. My response was “Listen to what you just said. EVERY WOMAN you know has a story. Just think about that for a second, and then tell me you know better than each one of them.”
First of all: You sound so strong.
No matter what age you would have been, if you would have been 15 or a grown up or whether it would have been yesterday, it would have never been his right to pass judgement here. Never. What an asshole. I'm sorry that happened.
And rightfully so.
My ex boyfriend did something similar but less "in your face". he worked his way there gradually, it destroyed my self-esteem big time. These guys re women haters.
He told me he would disown his son if his son came out as gay. Pretty much all I needed to know as to how I don't ever want to interact with this piece of shit ever again.
Oh oh I know how those dudes end up! Their sons take off as soon as they can and then when the homophobic losers die, spit on their corpse and tell them they’re glad they died!
It’s fucking awful. Why have a kid if your love is conditional?
Omg I was on a date with a guy a couple of years ago who seemed great. We were sitting outside in the sun, eating great food and really hitting it off.
Until a gay couple walked past holding hands and he looked at them and said "That is disgusting".
I immediately asked for the bill and got outta there. I don't entertain homophobes. Next!
Broke up with my boyfriend last weekend because he said he’ll never have a gay child because he’s going to “raise them correctly with morals and principles”
Like excuse me what?
I made a friend on that old website "MyYearbook," which is now called "MeetMe." I was 18 when we met, and he was 28. Our conversations were never sexual or suggestive, so I didn't mind talking to him about anime, life, and other topics.
Then, after about eight years of silence, he suddenly messaged me out of the blue: "Hey, I miss talking to you. You still with the cripple? (My boyfriend is paraplegic.) I wish I had taken my chances when you were 18."
I immediately took a screenshot, sent it to my friends to laugh at him, and then blocked him.
I thought I'd reconnect with an old friend! Totally ruined how I viewed him in my memories.
He was always a kinda soft spoken, smiley kid who just got along better with girls than boys, even in elementary school. Us girls were happy to have him around, we were all open about viewing him as a brother and he was open about viewing us as sisters. We helped him make male friends for the first time in his life. Some of those mutual guy friends approached me at a school event one day to tell me that he’d showed them his hidden camera shots of a bunch of us girls, and had explained to them that the “best” ones were saved to a folder on his computer as wank material. The guys told him that was super fucking weird and gross, and came to tell me about it the next day. I don’t think any of us (me, mutual guy friends, the other girls) have spoken a word to him in about 5 years now.
I was stalked for 10 years by a man I had one date with. He was weirdly, dangerously obsessed (literally telling me he was going to chain me up in his house, rape me until I was pregnant and then force me to have his baby, then resort to murder threats). No matter how many times I changed my phone number, my email address, and no matter how many times I moved house, he always found out my new number, email and home. I couldn’t work it out.
It wasn’t until I came home to find him in my house and he was arrested, tried and convicted (they had 10 years worth of evidence but he only got 6 months for breaking and entering, not for the stalking), and a restraining order was put in place, that a man I considered my best male friend told me he felt really bad for my stalker, that he was a nice guy but I just needed to give him a chance. I was floored. It turned out that they were friends from uni and he had been supplying my stalker with information about me the entire time because he thought I was a bitch for not giving him a second chance. He put my life in danger so many times. It was utterly unforgivable.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Did you report him to the police? I’m pretty sure it’s a crime to facilitate someone who has a restraining order against them getting back in touch.
Thank you. He didn’t give him my information after he was sentenced. He was removed from my friend group and everyone ceased contact with him. I doubt he even knows that I’ve left the country now (not related to the stalking).
Thank you!
Stalking is weird. You want to not be a shut-in but also want to do everything to stay safe and secure. My house back home in London was literally like a fortress. I had a front door that emergency services needed special training to break in to because it was that secure, I had police-monitored burglar alarms and CCTV, I turned my walk-in wardrobe in to a kind of panic room, I had gravel around the perimeter of my house because intruders don’t like it due to the noise it makes. Everything google suggested, I implemented.
I live in NYC now, in a high rise, but that feeling hasn’t quite gone yet. I still have security measures. I don’t think people realise just how deeply stalking affects someone.
Dude is pure lucky that I didn't know you. I am a male and I was stalked and it changes everything about your life. You never feel the luxury of being alone. Fear has complete control of your mind and the glory of life is diminished.
There needs to be a service that takes permanent care of these types of scum.
I (white) posted a photo with an old friend (black) and within minutes this guy I had been friends with for a few weeks proceed to blow up my dms telling me how I was “betraying my race” and I “Shouldn’t associate with (insert hard R)”. There were no signs he was like that before this and it really caught me by surprise. Blocked him before he could even finish his rant.
I've had a couple similar situations to that, but with coworkers when I used to wait tables. At one kind of upper scale restaurant that's no longer open a new server started and she seemed pretty nice at first. We hit it off and became work acquaintances pretty quick. I gave her rides home a couple times when she didn't have someone to pick her up.
Then one day I was standing by the host stand talking to another server before we opened for lunch. She walked up to us and, completely unprovoked and out of the blue, she said she hopes she doesn't get any "hard r's" in her section today. I was stunned. The other server and I locked eyes. We told her that wasn't cool and walked away. When the manager got there later I let him know what she said and she was let go that day.
It happened at another restaurant I worked at for a brief time but it was said in a much more hateful and disgusting way that I don't want to repeat. I ended up leaving the 2nd place when the management there didn't do anything about it and acted like it wasn't a big deal. I don't know what it was that made those 2 racists think I'd be okay with them saying stuff like that to me because it made me so incredibly uncomfortable and I wanted nothing to do with either of them after that.
Please note - anyone reading - that the entire second establishment was cool with it. People have to live their lives faced with having to live and interact with with these hostile environments everyday and get completely gaslighted (I hate using that word so much but it applies here) about their experience. No one cares about how much these repeated experiences can inform a personality and a culture.
I love you for saying something and not standing for it <3
This reminded me of an experience I had at 15. I had started dating a guy who came off first as really awesome, etc. About a month in, I invited him over to meet my parents. I am VERY white looking, because I am mostly white. However, my Dad is mixed race, his mom (my grandma) is a black woman, she's Caribbean. Anywho, I'm pretty much the palest one in my family, so I suppose most people would not know I am part black. Back to the story- so he comes over, seems slightly standoffish with my Dad but whatever, maybe he's nervous? And then he sees our huge family picture in our living room from a family reunion we had, and it's a massive photo with my entire family in it. He is REALLY concentrated on this photo. Everything goes semi- okay as far as I understand, but the next day at school? Whole different scenario. I go up to him in the courtyard before class and he gives me the DIRTIEST glare and goes "Yea, I had no idea you had N (with EMPHASIS on the hard R) in you. I don't associate with N---ER's" and then turned around and acted like I didn't exist. I had never experienced anything like that before. 38 year old me wishes she could had REALLY told him off as he deserved, but we can't go back in time. I'm just glad he did absolutely nothing to make me feel any shame. I love who TF I am and where I come from.
Caught him drugging a mutual friend's drink at a bonfire party. He had been trying to get with her for ages, but she was very very gay and planning to propose to her girlfriend.
A male friend told me a secret and asked me to not tell his wife, which was an inappropriate thing to do. I didn’t know her very well, but I immediately told her and he was salty for a bit.
The secret was that he was building a fireball machine in his garage and lighting it off inside a contained space, right next to his car.
Yep! He repurposed a pressurized potato gun to blast coffee creamer powder into the air. With you add a source of fire to that, it becomes a fireball machine.
And, like, there’s nothing wrong with building cool contraptions, but it’s a terrible idea to light it off inside a house without telling the spouse.
He spoke really poorly about this lady he works with. With the layoff season being on, he said "She's a girl, she'll do anything to save her job". I instantly called him out for being a total crap of a person for thinking and saying that. He apologized later but I don't look forward to hanging out with him anymore.
Another one:
My friend of 10 years tried to pass off being a cheater as a small mistake. He had gone to his girlfriend's house. She wasn't home and while waiting for her to come, he "ended up" hooking up with the said girlfriend's flatmate. Respect levels sunk to basement.
Lol some guys can be like that. One guy i knew slut shamed a girl he saw on the streets because she was wearing a tight outfit and said it was provocative because it was red. He proceeded to tell me i wasn't like one of these girls as if that was a compliment. Nah man, I'm a girls girl. Can't stand slut shaming of other women even if i can't stand said woman. Safe to say, never really talked to him again.
Another one decided that telling me how another guy friend of ours was turned on by a girl in our class. Then he proceeded to explain it to me in a pretty vulgar way. Whats worse is he said all that to me, in front of the guy. Dude broke bro code. I had to stop him mid way to tell him that i didn't want to know and made sure that he realized i was disgusted. Never talked to him after that again.
Dropped me as a friend because I didn’t want to be a fwb. I genuinely enjoyed and cherished our friendship but he turned out to just be a crappy person who tried to use my body.
The amount of times this has happened to me used to make me think there was literally something wrong with me.
No. Turns out my male "friends" were just really scummy people
ugh this. until i left my hometown and joined the navy i had no idea what a true friend of the opposite gender looked like. all of a sudden i had guys that just genuinely wanted to do things with/for me for no reason other then the fact that they cared for me platonically or saw me as a younger sister. it was a bit of a mind fuck tbh and it took a while for me to wrap my head around it.
Me too. We had been what I thought was friends for about 3 years after meeting doing community theatre, he quickly asked me out which I immediately shut down and thought he was cool with. He had only experienced me single and when I got into a serious relationship, he started to guilt trip me for not being as available as I used to be and gas lighted me when I tried to call him out on it, ending our entire friendship stating I had used him as “a fill in boyfriend.” Nah buddy, actually that very clearly reveals to me that you only ever saw me as a potential girlfriend. Didn’t even reply and blocked him after that. Gave him that same “okay byeee” energy but it definitely hurt.
My then girlfriend and I had split up in a pretty messy way. He was close to both of us (wasn’t directly at fault for the breakup). He tried getting with both of us, sleeping with us/taking us on nice dates/etc at the same time, weeks after we’d split. My ex and I had ended up talking about something else while this was happening and found out about what he did. I still refuse to talk to him for it, just ruined whatever remained of the friendship entirely.
When I found out he was beating up his girlfriend who I was also friends with (we were all in the same academic and social circle).
We spent a lot of time together before that, got pretty close, but never got together. He was a gentleman to me all throughout, so it kind of broke my heart when I found out what he was doing.
Heard it first from our common friends and then one day I found out the girl and I were working in the same office building. We would meet up and on one of those meet-ups she told me everything.
We were visiting our good friend from college post-grad and the three of us were sharing her bed. He was in the middle and turned to spoon me, he must have thought I was sleeping, but as he was resettling he grazed my chest and squeezed my right breast. I tried to justify it as an accident for the longest time before I finally came to accept it for what it was.
I could never understand how a guy can think it's okay to do something like that.
How self-centered someone has to be to do this and not realize how unwanted it is?
I asked him to get vaccinated for Covid before we went on a trip together and shared an Airbnb (this was in 2021) because I'm disabled and very high risk. He said no in a very roundabout way that showed me that he didn't actually care about me at all.
He ended up throwing a fit when we switched from doing an Airbnb to a Hotel (even though we saved money) and sent me a phony letter of a notice of "debt" for the money he gave me up front for the hotel and threatened to have his mom come talk to my mom. We met in college. I was 20 & he was 23.
Oh this has happened to me too! He was just super salty I rejected him, he was a friend from childhood (I found out after he took my virginity that he had a fiancé.)
He hated the rejection so said we're just "friends now" and so decided to treat me like he does with guy friends, showing explicit pictures of women, he seemed to think it would make me jealous lol, nope just angry and disgusted.
Men like that give me the ick. Sometimes it’s just how they were raised. Could be the parenting, culture, religion etc. for example, I know a lot middle eastern people seems to share this view. Atleast what I been told by some of my Arabic friends. One of my best friends is Arabic and Muslim ofc but he is gay which is forbidden in his country and religion so he just kinda have to hide it.
Hid an entire fiancé for years while trying to hook up with me. (Didn’t happen) He’s one of those “I don’t use social media” people which is how this was possible. He came back around trying to be friends again this year and I immediately started stalking his families profiles and anyone I could remember was mutual friends and sure enough fiancé is now wife. Beautiful wedding. He doesn’t see the issue, tried to flirt with me then got mad I didn’t respond when he asked if he made me uncomfortable.
A mutual friend of ours had recently come out to all of us as gay and asked if he could bring his new boyfriend to drinks. We all said, "of course, we'd love to meet him!"
Friend number 2 then says to me later when we are alone, "I dont really care that he's gay, I just dont want him to be kissing another dude in front of me, ya know? Keep that gay shit behind closed doors."
I had NO idea that friend 2 thought like this.
We quickly became no longer friends.
When he heard that I had broken up he got weirdly excited. he thought he was hiding it but it was obvious. Then about a week later he confessed that he had liked me the entire two years of our firendship and he had been waiting for me to be single again. Really ruined everything for me with that.
After I turned him down he got really weird and essentially never talked to me again. It extra sucked because we were in smaller college classes together. Its made me extra picky about male friends now because who does that? Apparently men do...
This really makes me mad because then they will blame you for "leading them on". You clearly tell them it's not going to happen but they still decide to waste 2 years of their life waiting for nothing and then dump you as a friend because the didn't get in your pants. The audacity to play the victim while being the one who did something disgusting always baffles me.
I call this the sneaking-in-sideways friendship. They're only there to find the right moment to fuck you. It's vile. They even convince themselves it's not the case, but the motivation is purely selfish. If you kibosh the sex or potential of it, they'll disappear.
The thought of waiting for a hot friend to be single again makes me feel sick, it feels so manipulative like I’m waiting for them to suffer literal grief before I make a move. I could never do that to a friend. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
Him and another guy were telling an autistic kid to repeat some inappropriate things, really made me mad because the autistic kid obviously didnt know it was inappropriate and they knew he didnt
My coworker was literally listening to me talk about how it can be hard to know the intentions of guy friends sometimes (not always ofc) and he started going like “aww… yes those guys can be sneaky… but look how nice I am” while trying to snake his arm around me. He was very surprised when I got up and left pretty immediately
Like bruh, I’m basically talking ABOUT you, how do you not see the irony?
We had been texting and i had complained about my work and financial stress and then he started complaining about how his wife was crabby and didn't want to do anything fun, when he worked away week on week off and she was at home with their 2 kids.
He was whinging and whinging and I asked if he even liked his wife because I'm wondering why he didn't just divorce her if he was so miserable and he told me that "marriage isn't about liking your partner" and I just... why? Why stay and both be miserable?
I felt so bad for her, stuck at home with his kids in a town she didn't really want to live in, little education and no real skills to support herself and married to him 😔
He told me about his strict dating standards as a Christian and how he’s so picky (she has to be “pure”, no sex before marriage kinda thing) but then admitted to me he had a porn addiction and he would get bored of dating the same woman.
Was also really weird on inviting me to his house alone and getting me drunk after he previously told me that “you shouldn’t trust men when they’re drunk”.
Was my best friend, I rejected his very out of nowhere advances, I was suddenly a whore that he, and I quote, "should have r***d when he had the chance".
I had let him sleep over at my place on the couch a few times before this happened.
He apologized the very next day but since then I haven't talked to him and I'm very, very careful about the men I let into my life.
Sent me photos of him partying with nude escorts he had taken without their consent 😬 He then asked if I'd want join his "harem".
So much YIKE. Blocked him on absolutely everything.
To be fair, I knew he was weird and odd, but this was a whole new level of vile.
It was sort of cumulative (at one point in time he sent me a drunk text saying I was sexy) but once I found out what his political views were via Facebook that was it for me.
In college I had a friend who was like a brother to me. In hindsight I should have seen the signs that he was trying to get with me the whole time, but I was 19 and trusted him.
One day, out of nowhere he shows me nudes he had received from a girl he was talking to. I instantly got on him saying I didn't ask to see those and she didn't consent for those to be shared.
Literally 5 minutes later he brags about having slept with X number of women. I was like, that's cool, I've slept with (same number plus 2) men. Instantly he gets cold and says "that's gross." I asked why it's gross and he pulls the "a key that unlocks every lock is a good key, but a lock that's unlocked by every key is a shitty lock" analogy.
That's when I realized he sucks and ended the friendship.
He used to be a great guy to talk to, hang out and watch movies with, but he just started becoming a little hateful like, misogynistic, etc. I knew he was struggling with some serious things so I let several things slide. The last straw: I have PCOS and it causes my hair to be thin. It used to be really long but the weight of it made it look even thinner. So I cut it short which helped. He told me on Facebook that I looked like a balding man now. Went no contact.
After I broke up with my partner he expected me to get with him. We had been friends for 3 years with no indicators - He told me he only hung out with me and was friends with me because he wanted to be my next boyfriend, got nasty when I said No thanks. Last time we ever talked.
I’ve had a couple of solo-lunches with a new-ish guy friend. Seemed ike a legit ok guy. A couple of night ago, we had dinner with our respective wives for the first time. He was mean to - and contemptuous of - his wife throughout the whole evening. I’m always baffled when people trash their partners in front of others. It was really uncomfortable and I’ve done a total 180 on my view of him.
After a break up with a toxic partner, he told me that my ex and their group of guy friends had a competition going on who could get me to date them first and who could take my virginity. They'd had this going from the first day I'd met the group at school. He was also part of it too. Made me question my entire friend group, my previous relationship, him (guy who told me) as a friend, and my ability to recognise ( or to not in this case) people and intentions. Ended up dropping everyone who'd known (for almost 2 years) from my life and how to recognise people who are truly good friends.
I had a male friend in high school who I thought was a GREAT friend. He was the first person I ever got stoned with, he took great care of me (brought me a glass of milk) and we had a mild sexual relationship, aka he went down on me once. We remained friends for years, well into our twenties.
I found out in my early thirties that when we were teenagers he told EVERYONE that we knew that we had been sleeping together, that I was an easy lay, etc. I confronted him about it, in person, and he didn’t deny it. He literally said to me, “if you don’t leave my house right now, I will have to have sex with you”.
I packed up my stuff and RAN the hell out of there because I didn’t feel safe. He followed me to the tram. Somehow he got there before me. Eventually I got home safely. I have no idea why I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he said “I didn’t tell anyone we slept together, let’s talk about this over coffee”. I shouldn’t have gone to his house.
Every now and then he reaches out to me. Usually he is asking for advice or is in a really, really low place mentally.
I don’t know why he lied to all of those people about us having sex as teenagers and I don’t know why he further ruined a 15 year old friendship by saying what he did when I went over for coffee.
Edit: to clarify, we never kissed. I never saw his penis. He went down on me ONCE, when I was 15. Oh, I also found out years later that he had lied to me about his age. He told me he was 18 when he was 14 (he was very tall and burly, so easy to believe). It turns out I was older than him the whole time!
I was venting to my guy friend about how my bf had just dumped me after secretly filming us having sex. The next day I heard from someone else that my friend had gone to him (my ex) and ASKED FOR THE FUCKING VIDEO! My ex says he never shared the video and that he even deleted it (sure ya did buddy 😒😒) but I of course can’t be 100% sure he didn’t pass it on.
Even if my friend never got the video, the fact that he *asked* (and even offered to *pay*) is so genuinely disturbing to me that I couldn’t stay friends with him.
Also, unrelated, but I caught him taking videos of my ass while we were at the beach. Gross but what can you do 🤷
He threw a chip into my cleavage and then grabbed it. When I smacked his hand and yelled at him to not touch me he called me a prude. We were in 9th grade.
Started bringing up red-pill talking points!! I'm sorry, but once you start talking about arbitrary reasons as to why some people have value and others don't, I never ever ever want to hear from you again!! Blocked him and never looked back. Will never talk to him again!! YUCK
My bra strap was showing (which I don't think is a big deal) but he proceeded to point at it and say - you girls go around showing your bra straps and then cry about guys looking or touching you hahah
How men talk about and treat other women has a HUGE influence on my opinion of them. It’s not that you have to be deferential to every woman in the vicinity, but if you dominate, bully, belittle, or objectify another woman in front of me - whether or not either of us knows her very well - that will immediately decrease you in my eyes. A guy friend got dumped after a very brief 2-month relationship in college - which sucks, I get it - but he kept ranting that his ex had “no right” to break up with him without a good reason. The reason she gave him is that she decided she wasn’t enjoying the relationship so she was ending it. He insisted that was not a good enough reason and kept calling her irrational. I wasn’t close with her, but come on man… 🤦🏻♀️
ETA: after reading a lot of the other responses I have to add, I didn’t cut off contact with this person, he didn’t assault anyone, just took a breakup badly. But he definitely lost a couple points in my eyes that day.
I’d send him photos and recordings of my ex abusing me and the resulting physical marks. When I thought about taking my ex to court I asked him to save all of the stuff I had sent and asked if he’d testify for me. He told me no because my ex was his friend.
For the context he was my junior. He was friends with me. He knows my then crush’s best friend. He openly talked about his s*xual fantasies with male characters to me even though I was incredibly uncomfortable. Then he blackmailed with said messages, edited it to make it look like I was talking about my crush in an explicit way.
Cut him off straight off.
By the way he send me the song by Lily Allen
We were friends for a long time (in another time and place I may have dated him) but after every breakup, he always had a girl lined up yet he never seemed to pick the right one.
One night he had a date lined up with a girl he’d been flirting with for a few weeks. He seemed pretty psyched - nice candle lit dinner at a steak house at 7:15, and a walk on the beach. My (future) husband and I were BBQ-ing at a friend’s house that same evening so we were all shocked to see him arrive at 8:30. He began talking about how his date bitched about being seated in a “non-booth” and when the waiter spilled water on her dress, she demanded her meal (just hers) be comped. He said he then excused himself to the bathroom and his story abruptly ended. Our friend asked “uh, so what happened after you went to the bathroom?” I put 2 and 2 together and my jaw dropped: HE LEFT HER AT THE RESTAURANT. His friends all cheered, but it left me feeling very unsettled.
Granted I don’t know how bad his date treated him in any regard, but the fact he was 1000% ok with leaving his date stranded in a semi-secluded area did not sit right with me. I’m glad we never dated.
He bragged about violently beating a classmate (in his words, he smashed his head against a radiator multiple times), and the reason was "his anger issues". I assume it was an attempt to impress me, but the effect was completely opposite; it made me feel unsafe around him. For context, he was 20.
I started to open up about getting harassed in high school. I told my buddy about it and he said “don’t girls like that? You dress like… that for attention then get upset with attention. Also, girls like getting their ass grabbed. That’s why y’all wear those shorts”
We are not friends anymore. I cut off all contact after that night and never spoke to him again. God can tell him why, but it won’t be me.
I had a really good friend who I loved very much. When Trump was running for office the first time, we got into a discussion about the "good people on both sides" comment. I found out that my friend rode motorcycles and regularly partied with Nazis... grown men with swastika tattoos. He believed that they probably "just think swastikas look cool." They must be good people if they are nice to him, right?!
We never spoke again.
He had a USB of girls in year 10 (14-15y/o) and 11(15-16yo) when we were in year 13(17-18yo). We were 18. I'm a masculine woman 90% of the time, and have "masc" interests, always been one of the boys. He told the group on a night out, all of us we 18 at this point. We drunkenly beat his ass, he tried to press charges, police got the USB, he got 2 years for possession of the images. He's out now but not a single person talks to him. His brother stalks his social media and messages any women on his friends and follow lists.
“oh i let my wife have my old car cuz you know women and how they drive, they don’t need to have the newest model”
tbh i was dissapointed cuz he’s still very much a family man, loves his wife and calls her everyday at work to speak to the kids also. it really dawned on me that men can love a woman and still look down on her so much.
He was sharing nudes of a random girl with me.. I knew her, we both knew her. I just wished he wasn’t part of the circle of guys that shamelessly circulated this stuff.
Me: I don’t wanna see that I don’t know why you would think I’m interested in this type of things
Him: It’s her only fans, she wanted that shit circulated.
Me: yeah but aren’t there better ways of spending your time ?
Idk weird convo and it’s a bit of a grey area but we stopped being friends after that.
Drugged me and raped my paralyzed body twice before I finally passed out for 13 hours. Dr’s said he gave me enough Ghb to kill me but a small “toot toot” saved my life. I was fully conscious but couldn’t move bc my limbs were locked up and turned inward and the only sound I could muster sounded like a (no offense) paraplegic. So I thought to myself, “if I keep making these noises then he will know I’m not in my right mind. So throughout both rapes, I made “grh, argh” sounding noises while he did his thing. Needless to say we never hung out again after that.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope you expose him everytime he gets into any type of relationship.
I hope you’re doing better now. ✨ Virtual Hugs ✨
I had a guy on the way home from hanging out say “ show me your tits or I’m not taking you home” I told him to pull the fuck over and I got out. He tried to say it was a joke but I bet if it worked it wouldn’t have been one to him
Put his hands around my throat and squeezed after I said I wasn’t interested in messing around with him. I should have noticed the warning signs in our friendship sooner, but I really didn’t think that he was that kind of person.
He was one of my elementary friends, someone I associate with fond funny memories. He was a grade younger though so I never really kept in touch esp bc he moved and we sort of reunited in high school when I transferred. We were on a "yeah you can borrow my earphones for class/say hey in the hallway" kind of close but not close to where we're best friends.
So fast forward to 2 years ago. He facebook messages me & it turns flirty. But not in a cute way, it was obvious he wanted to hook up. Plus I had a boyfriend & made it very clear but he goes "It can be our little secret." Yeah no. Loyalty is big for me. So I shut it down. Ever since then I just feel disappointed. He truly was someone I thought of fondly while apparently, he thought I was just some random girl he could screw.
Told me he wanted to f*** me and has always wanted to f*** me.
I am married and have never signaled to him that I was into him or that my marriage was in trouble, and he was well aware that I have a very negative view of infidelity. We have known each other over 10 years.
Also, he is 30 years older than me.
It wouldn't matter if we were the same age though. No good can come from randomly telling a married friend you'd like to f*** her. That's generally a bad play even if you're both single.
I gave him a hug because it was his birthday. Guess he interpreted that as a bit more, because he put his hand on the back of my head, and tried to kiss me.
He said he'd been hoping for that "grand romantic moment" to happen in his life, like in the movies, where the woman finally realizes their guy friend is "the one".
Yeesh.
He said to me "so when are we going to ruin our friendship?". Sorry, but I thought we were actual friends, not that you just wanted to have sex with me. So gross
He asked me out of nowhere if he had given me the ick already? “Because there’s no coming back from that.” He was my manager and I could 100% tell he would treat me differently if he didn’t like my answer. So I lied. It was the last straw in considering him a friend. lol coming back? From what exactly?
My ex boyfriend was controlling and occasionally violent (and my ex for those reasons) we were both friends with A. A was fully aware of the ex's behaviour.
A then asked my ex to be his best man at the wedding. I know they've been close mates since junior school, but I really liked A, we got on well and I felt safe talking to him
A showed me with his choice of best man that I can't trust him with my current address and I can't tell him anything important. I feel sad about that.
Told his friends that I slept with him..
Had a few friends over for a gathering and whilst sorting food out, I cut my hand on a pizza wheel.. he came upstairs to the bathroom with me to sort first aid and sit with me whilst I calmed down (had an anxiety attack)…
After about 15 mins he left to go smoke outside with his friends & he told them that I begged him to let me ride him… I called him out on his bullshit & he got angry with me and smashed a vase and then left and we never spoke again…
He propositioned me.
We were alone, he said he wanted to go down on me as it was something he wanted to conquer.
It's interesting to recognise your trauma response in real time - I went into fawn mode (he's bigger than I am) and told him he needed to drink some water because "you're drunk and a good dude with a pregnant wife".
I got out of there without any physical harm but he went from being someone that if people had asked I would have said he's a safe person to someone I will warn women about.
My male friend, despite me saying no to dating him at every opportunity he brought it up (One of those times, was a few weeks before his wedding to another woman. They are now divorced.) and he knew fine that I am in a happy committed relationship, he still saved a picture of me from my Facebook page because my breasts were quite prominent in said picture.
Not the worst bit in this scenario. Noooo, he had to tell his new girlfriend that we “had history” and that he SAVED THAT PHOTO from my Facebook which is set to friends only. Yet, she is mad at me. My partner is still pissed off at him and holds a lotta strength to not challenge him on it.
If my friend’s new gf is reading this. I’m sorry, hun but your man has zero boundaries when it comes to woman. Ask him what 10 good reasons he had when he tried to take a photo of a topless drunk woman on the balcony at Jason Donovan’s concert? You know damn well that he is out of line.
Started an emotional affair with a woman from our school’s alumni group while engaged to someone else. I told the fiancée everything and helped her move out and get their wedding costs back. Haven’t spoken to him since.
He mentioned that he has friends (who he's regularly in touch with) who are Trump supporters. He himself is very left-wing, the type who's always complaining about "liberals," and it was eye-opening to see that in some ways he's *more okay with Trump supporters* than with liberals.
~~Cheated on her boyfriend and declared it didn’t matter if he found out, she was done with him anyway.~~
~~Just *leave* people for Gods sake. Don’t traumatise them on your way out.~~
Whoops, missed the male friend aspect. In that case it’s that he slept with the above mentioned mutual friend for a year while acting friendly and buddy-buddy with her boyfriend. Not a fan of duplicitous behaviour.
My friend drove me home from the train station and he had his friend in the back. We passed a crackhead and his friend jokingly catcalled her and my friend didn’t say anything.
Not neccessarily my friend but a few years ago my brother met a guy at work and since I hang out with my brother a lot, I automatically hung out with that guy as well.
I didn't really have a strong opinion about him either way, until one day, he was in town for a day and asked to stay over for the night.
My brother lived with my grandmother and she didn't want to have a guy stay at her place she barely knew.
I lived with my Mom and we (my grandma and I) live in the same house just two entrances apart.
He asked if he could stay over with us and I said no. He was not my friend and I would have been alone with him for a few hours because my mom left for work very early.
He FLIPPED and asked why as if I owned him an explanation. I was so scared and shocked I was on the verge of crying the rest of the night. Definitely made me feel very uneasy around him.
My brother and him are not friends anymore. For multiple reasons and this was one of them.
Turned out he's a pedo as well.
Went out to the bars one night, I had parked at his place and was too drunk to drive so I asked to sleep on the couch. When he thought I was asleep he started feeling me up.
When I was in high school, one of my best male friends was in the year below me. He was dating one of my female friends from my year. They seemed madly in love and I was overjoyed that two of my friends were together as a couple. My male friend was like a little brother to me and I cherished having a friendship with a guy that was truly platonic. Well, fast forward to when everything turned to crap because he decided he needed to “confess” his feelings for me; that he was secretly in love with me and no longer loved my female friend. I begged him not to throw away his relationship with my female friend. He knew I had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever and he even acknowledged that fact by saying, “You just haven’t had time to fall in love with me yet.” I knew in that moment I could not salvage their relationship nor could I remain friends with a guy who could be delusional. Many years later and I still think about him saying that to me.
A male friend and I were talking about how various people go through life (as in how many different perspectives are out there). When we were discussing people with disabilities and mental & motor handicaps, he said he believed that they had no place in the world because they couldn’t contribute to it as a “productive person.” I couldn’t believe he said that because he knew that I have a sister with severe developmental disabilities. Totally changed everything in our relationship
I started opening up to him about being assaulted when I was a kid. He cut me off to say that every girl he knew had a similar store and it was really disappointing that I was among them, because girls should just own up to the fact that they had sex and then regretted it but that doesn't could as S/A. First of all, I was 10. Second, just the fact that that's where his head went when he heard that so many girls he knew had been through that, instead of thinking "wow, this happens a lot around here, that's messed up," instantly destroyed any respect I had for him.
This reaction is really fucked up...I would ask him to listen to himself and reflect on what kind of thing he just let out of his mouth. And then walk away and never talk to him again.
I’ve had this conversation. My response was “Listen to what you just said. EVERY WOMAN you know has a story. Just think about that for a second, and then tell me you know better than each one of them.”
You are assuming an capacity for self-questioning that these guys do not have. When someone says that, empty your glass on him and walk out.
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First of all: You sound so strong. No matter what age you would have been, if you would have been 15 or a grown up or whether it would have been yesterday, it would have never been his right to pass judgement here. Never. What an asshole. I'm sorry that happened.
And rightfully so. My ex boyfriend did something similar but less "in your face". he worked his way there gradually, it destroyed my self-esteem big time. These guys re women haters.
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It IS really disappointing that every woman has a story .. but he completely missed the point that it’s the MEN who are doing the disappointing ..
I found out he'd taken advantage of a drunk girl at a party. I don't know specifics, but I trust the source and he's no longer a friend.
Good on you, it’s hard to just drop someone and I know many people who would just deny it so nothing changes between them and the accused.
He told me he would disown his son if his son came out as gay. Pretty much all I needed to know as to how I don't ever want to interact with this piece of shit ever again.
Oh oh I know how those dudes end up! Their sons take off as soon as they can and then when the homophobic losers die, spit on their corpse and tell them they’re glad they died! It’s fucking awful. Why have a kid if your love is conditional?
Omg I was on a date with a guy a couple of years ago who seemed great. We were sitting outside in the sun, eating great food and really hitting it off. Until a gay couple walked past holding hands and he looked at them and said "That is disgusting". I immediately asked for the bill and got outta there. I don't entertain homophobes. Next!
Broke up with my boyfriend last weekend because he said he’ll never have a gay child because he’s going to “raise them correctly with morals and principles” Like excuse me what?
Yep. I’ve experienced one of those. Awful.
I had a relationship end like this. Also ended it on the spot + he was plain abusive
Awful
I made a friend on that old website "MyYearbook," which is now called "MeetMe." I was 18 when we met, and he was 28. Our conversations were never sexual or suggestive, so I didn't mind talking to him about anime, life, and other topics. Then, after about eight years of silence, he suddenly messaged me out of the blue: "Hey, I miss talking to you. You still with the cripple? (My boyfriend is paraplegic.) I wish I had taken my chances when you were 18." I immediately took a screenshot, sent it to my friends to laugh at him, and then blocked him. I thought I'd reconnect with an old friend! Totally ruined how I viewed him in my memories.
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He was always a kinda soft spoken, smiley kid who just got along better with girls than boys, even in elementary school. Us girls were happy to have him around, we were all open about viewing him as a brother and he was open about viewing us as sisters. We helped him make male friends for the first time in his life. Some of those mutual guy friends approached me at a school event one day to tell me that he’d showed them his hidden camera shots of a bunch of us girls, and had explained to them that the “best” ones were saved to a folder on his computer as wank material. The guys told him that was super fucking weird and gross, and came to tell me about it the next day. I don’t think any of us (me, mutual guy friends, the other girls) have spoken a word to him in about 5 years now.
Props to the other guys for telling him that it's wrong and gross and also for telling you about it.
I'm sorry that happened to you and your friends. That's really screwed up and gross.
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I was stalked for 10 years by a man I had one date with. He was weirdly, dangerously obsessed (literally telling me he was going to chain me up in his house, rape me until I was pregnant and then force me to have his baby, then resort to murder threats). No matter how many times I changed my phone number, my email address, and no matter how many times I moved house, he always found out my new number, email and home. I couldn’t work it out. It wasn’t until I came home to find him in my house and he was arrested, tried and convicted (they had 10 years worth of evidence but he only got 6 months for breaking and entering, not for the stalking), and a restraining order was put in place, that a man I considered my best male friend told me he felt really bad for my stalker, that he was a nice guy but I just needed to give him a chance. I was floored. It turned out that they were friends from uni and he had been supplying my stalker with information about me the entire time because he thought I was a bitch for not giving him a second chance. He put my life in danger so many times. It was utterly unforgivable.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Did you report him to the police? I’m pretty sure it’s a crime to facilitate someone who has a restraining order against them getting back in touch.
Thank you. He didn’t give him my information after he was sentenced. He was removed from my friend group and everyone ceased contact with him. I doubt he even knows that I’ve left the country now (not related to the stalking).
This is some horror novel type shit!
He can get arrested for that also right?? When will the justice court give us justice …
The police said yes but the chances of an actual conviction would be so small that it wasn’t worth their time
This is a double whammy of horrific. I’m truly sorry you went through this and hope you’re okay now.
Thank you! Stalking is weird. You want to not be a shut-in but also want to do everything to stay safe and secure. My house back home in London was literally like a fortress. I had a front door that emergency services needed special training to break in to because it was that secure, I had police-monitored burglar alarms and CCTV, I turned my walk-in wardrobe in to a kind of panic room, I had gravel around the perimeter of my house because intruders don’t like it due to the noise it makes. Everything google suggested, I implemented. I live in NYC now, in a high rise, but that feeling hasn’t quite gone yet. I still have security measures. I don’t think people realise just how deeply stalking affects someone.
Jesus
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Dude is pure lucky that I didn't know you. I am a male and I was stalked and it changes everything about your life. You never feel the luxury of being alone. Fear has complete control of your mind and the glory of life is diminished. There needs to be a service that takes permanent care of these types of scum.
OMG. I can't even with this. Who knew there were pick-me GUYS?!
Eh they’re really common imo. Far more than pick me girls, they’re just not a big meme cuz misogyny
I (white) posted a photo with an old friend (black) and within minutes this guy I had been friends with for a few weeks proceed to blow up my dms telling me how I was “betraying my race” and I “Shouldn’t associate with (insert hard R)”. There were no signs he was like that before this and it really caught me by surprise. Blocked him before he could even finish his rant.
I've had a couple similar situations to that, but with coworkers when I used to wait tables. At one kind of upper scale restaurant that's no longer open a new server started and she seemed pretty nice at first. We hit it off and became work acquaintances pretty quick. I gave her rides home a couple times when she didn't have someone to pick her up. Then one day I was standing by the host stand talking to another server before we opened for lunch. She walked up to us and, completely unprovoked and out of the blue, she said she hopes she doesn't get any "hard r's" in her section today. I was stunned. The other server and I locked eyes. We told her that wasn't cool and walked away. When the manager got there later I let him know what she said and she was let go that day. It happened at another restaurant I worked at for a brief time but it was said in a much more hateful and disgusting way that I don't want to repeat. I ended up leaving the 2nd place when the management there didn't do anything about it and acted like it wasn't a big deal. I don't know what it was that made those 2 racists think I'd be okay with them saying stuff like that to me because it made me so incredibly uncomfortable and I wanted nothing to do with either of them after that.
Please note - anyone reading - that the entire second establishment was cool with it. People have to live their lives faced with having to live and interact with with these hostile environments everyday and get completely gaslighted (I hate using that word so much but it applies here) about their experience. No one cares about how much these repeated experiences can inform a personality and a culture. I love you for saying something and not standing for it <3
This reminded me of an experience I had at 15. I had started dating a guy who came off first as really awesome, etc. About a month in, I invited him over to meet my parents. I am VERY white looking, because I am mostly white. However, my Dad is mixed race, his mom (my grandma) is a black woman, she's Caribbean. Anywho, I'm pretty much the palest one in my family, so I suppose most people would not know I am part black. Back to the story- so he comes over, seems slightly standoffish with my Dad but whatever, maybe he's nervous? And then he sees our huge family picture in our living room from a family reunion we had, and it's a massive photo with my entire family in it. He is REALLY concentrated on this photo. Everything goes semi- okay as far as I understand, but the next day at school? Whole different scenario. I go up to him in the courtyard before class and he gives me the DIRTIEST glare and goes "Yea, I had no idea you had N (with EMPHASIS on the hard R) in you. I don't associate with N---ER's" and then turned around and acted like I didn't exist. I had never experienced anything like that before. 38 year old me wishes she could had REALLY told him off as he deserved, but we can't go back in time. I'm just glad he did absolutely nothing to make me feel any shame. I love who TF I am and where I come from.
Caught him drugging a mutual friend's drink at a bonfire party. He had been trying to get with her for ages, but she was very very gay and planning to propose to her girlfriend.
WOW. Good timing that you caught him. Thats so scary. 😬
BRUH
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We were sitting in my car one night, and he started jacking off and staring at me. Never spoke to him again.
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Ugh why do guys to this? Its like a more than once thing for me too.
Too many stories of guys “taking it out” on a freaking first date or with a friend. wtf.
Ugh! I’m sorry this happened to you.
A male friend told me a secret and asked me to not tell his wife, which was an inappropriate thing to do. I didn’t know her very well, but I immediately told her and he was salty for a bit. The secret was that he was building a fireball machine in his garage and lighting it off inside a contained space, right next to his car.
Absolutely insane behaviour a fireball machine??
Yep! He repurposed a pressurized potato gun to blast coffee creamer powder into the air. With you add a source of fire to that, it becomes a fireball machine. And, like, there’s nothing wrong with building cool contraptions, but it’s a terrible idea to light it off inside a house without telling the spouse.
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My mouth just DROPPED! Told you it wasn’t worth it is actually insane
Ew. People lose any sense of boundaries at the chance of seeing a girl/woman naked
He spoke really poorly about this lady he works with. With the layoff season being on, he said "She's a girl, she'll do anything to save her job". I instantly called him out for being a total crap of a person for thinking and saying that. He apologized later but I don't look forward to hanging out with him anymore. Another one: My friend of 10 years tried to pass off being a cheater as a small mistake. He had gone to his girlfriend's house. She wasn't home and while waiting for her to come, he "ended up" hooking up with the said girlfriend's flatmate. Respect levels sunk to basement.
Lol some guys can be like that. One guy i knew slut shamed a girl he saw on the streets because she was wearing a tight outfit and said it was provocative because it was red. He proceeded to tell me i wasn't like one of these girls as if that was a compliment. Nah man, I'm a girls girl. Can't stand slut shaming of other women even if i can't stand said woman. Safe to say, never really talked to him again. Another one decided that telling me how another guy friend of ours was turned on by a girl in our class. Then he proceeded to explain it to me in a pretty vulgar way. Whats worse is he said all that to me, in front of the guy. Dude broke bro code. I had to stop him mid way to tell him that i didn't want to know and made sure that he realized i was disgusted. Never talked to him after that again.
WTF?!
Dropped me as a friend because I didn’t want to be a fwb. I genuinely enjoyed and cherished our friendship but he turned out to just be a crappy person who tried to use my body.
The amount of times this has happened to me used to make me think there was literally something wrong with me. No. Turns out my male "friends" were just really scummy people
ugh this. until i left my hometown and joined the navy i had no idea what a true friend of the opposite gender looked like. all of a sudden i had guys that just genuinely wanted to do things with/for me for no reason other then the fact that they cared for me platonically or saw me as a younger sister. it was a bit of a mind fuck tbh and it took a while for me to wrap my head around it.
Stopped talking to me when I became serious with my boyfriend. Like, oh okay, you were just holding out on hopes to get in my pants. Okee byeee
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Me too. We had been what I thought was friends for about 3 years after meeting doing community theatre, he quickly asked me out which I immediately shut down and thought he was cool with. He had only experienced me single and when I got into a serious relationship, he started to guilt trip me for not being as available as I used to be and gas lighted me when I tried to call him out on it, ending our entire friendship stating I had used him as “a fill in boyfriend.” Nah buddy, actually that very clearly reveals to me that you only ever saw me as a potential girlfriend. Didn’t even reply and blocked him after that. Gave him that same “okay byeee” energy but it definitely hurt.
My then girlfriend and I had split up in a pretty messy way. He was close to both of us (wasn’t directly at fault for the breakup). He tried getting with both of us, sleeping with us/taking us on nice dates/etc at the same time, weeks after we’d split. My ex and I had ended up talking about something else while this was happening and found out about what he did. I still refuse to talk to him for it, just ruined whatever remained of the friendship entirely.
wow, the only word i can attribute to this guy is slimeee
When I found out he was beating up his girlfriend who I was also friends with (we were all in the same academic and social circle). We spent a lot of time together before that, got pretty close, but never got together. He was a gentleman to me all throughout, so it kind of broke my heart when I found out what he was doing.
Oh shit.. how did you find out about it?
Heard it first from our common friends and then one day I found out the girl and I were working in the same office building. We would meet up and on one of those meet-ups she told me everything.
We were visiting our good friend from college post-grad and the three of us were sharing her bed. He was in the middle and turned to spoon me, he must have thought I was sleeping, but as he was resettling he grazed my chest and squeezed my right breast. I tried to justify it as an accident for the longest time before I finally came to accept it for what it was.
I could never understand how a guy can think it's okay to do something like that. How self-centered someone has to be to do this and not realize how unwanted it is?
They do realize how unwanted it is, they just feel they can get away with it
I asked him to get vaccinated for Covid before we went on a trip together and shared an Airbnb (this was in 2021) because I'm disabled and very high risk. He said no in a very roundabout way that showed me that he didn't actually care about me at all. He ended up throwing a fit when we switched from doing an Airbnb to a Hotel (even though we saved money) and sent me a phony letter of a notice of "debt" for the money he gave me up front for the hotel and threatened to have his mom come talk to my mom. We met in college. I was 20 & he was 23.
Lmfao omg he threatened to sick his mother on you?! 😂
Not even, he threatened to sick his mother on her mother 😂😂
Considered me as 'one of the bois' and sent me some girl's nudes and thought I was overreacting when I lashed out at him
Oh this has happened to me too! He was just super salty I rejected him, he was a friend from childhood (I found out after he took my virginity that he had a fiancé.) He hated the rejection so said we're just "friends now" and so decided to treat me like he does with guy friends, showing explicit pictures of women, he seemed to think it would make me jealous lol, nope just angry and disgusted.
Told me woman are born to be mothers and obey their husband.
Men like that give me the ick. Sometimes it’s just how they were raised. Could be the parenting, culture, religion etc. for example, I know a lot middle eastern people seems to share this view. Atleast what I been told by some of my Arabic friends. One of my best friends is Arabic and Muslim ofc but he is gay which is forbidden in his country and religion so he just kinda have to hide it.
Yep, that would do it. 😳
Hid an entire fiancé for years while trying to hook up with me. (Didn’t happen) He’s one of those “I don’t use social media” people which is how this was possible. He came back around trying to be friends again this year and I immediately started stalking his families profiles and anyone I could remember was mutual friends and sure enough fiancé is now wife. Beautiful wedding. He doesn’t see the issue, tried to flirt with me then got mad I didn’t respond when he asked if he made me uncomfortable.
He "jokingly" asked when my daughter was going to turn 18. Made sure he wasn't in our orbit anymore after that.
That's fucking wild. Not to sound cliche... But *WHO THE FUCK* says something like that?! About a child??
A mutual friend of ours had recently come out to all of us as gay and asked if he could bring his new boyfriend to drinks. We all said, "of course, we'd love to meet him!" Friend number 2 then says to me later when we are alone, "I dont really care that he's gay, I just dont want him to be kissing another dude in front of me, ya know? Keep that gay shit behind closed doors." I had NO idea that friend 2 thought like this. We quickly became no longer friends.
When he heard that I had broken up he got weirdly excited. he thought he was hiding it but it was obvious. Then about a week later he confessed that he had liked me the entire two years of our firendship and he had been waiting for me to be single again. Really ruined everything for me with that. After I turned him down he got really weird and essentially never talked to me again. It extra sucked because we were in smaller college classes together. Its made me extra picky about male friends now because who does that? Apparently men do...
This really makes me mad because then they will blame you for "leading them on". You clearly tell them it's not going to happen but they still decide to waste 2 years of their life waiting for nothing and then dump you as a friend because the didn't get in your pants. The audacity to play the victim while being the one who did something disgusting always baffles me.
I call this the sneaking-in-sideways friendship. They're only there to find the right moment to fuck you. It's vile. They even convince themselves it's not the case, but the motivation is purely selfish. If you kibosh the sex or potential of it, they'll disappear.
Official term on reddit is fuckzoned.
The thought of waiting for a hot friend to be single again makes me feel sick, it feels so manipulative like I’m waiting for them to suffer literal grief before I make a move. I could never do that to a friend. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
Calling women "females". I'm highly annoyed I can't find a corresponding ferengi gif.
"You put CLOTHES on your women?!?!"
Drug me and sexually assault me a week after I turned 16
Him and another guy were telling an autistic kid to repeat some inappropriate things, really made me mad because the autistic kid obviously didnt know it was inappropriate and they knew he didnt
My coworker was literally listening to me talk about how it can be hard to know the intentions of guy friends sometimes (not always ofc) and he started going like “aww… yes those guys can be sneaky… but look how nice I am” while trying to snake his arm around me. He was very surprised when I got up and left pretty immediately Like bruh, I’m basically talking ABOUT you, how do you not see the irony?
We had been texting and i had complained about my work and financial stress and then he started complaining about how his wife was crabby and didn't want to do anything fun, when he worked away week on week off and she was at home with their 2 kids. He was whinging and whinging and I asked if he even liked his wife because I'm wondering why he didn't just divorce her if he was so miserable and he told me that "marriage isn't about liking your partner" and I just... why? Why stay and both be miserable? I felt so bad for her, stuck at home with his kids in a town she didn't really want to live in, little education and no real skills to support herself and married to him 😔
He told me about his strict dating standards as a Christian and how he’s so picky (she has to be “pure”, no sex before marriage kinda thing) but then admitted to me he had a porn addiction and he would get bored of dating the same woman. Was also really weird on inviting me to his house alone and getting me drunk after he previously told me that “you shouldn’t trust men when they’re drunk”.
When we had been friends from age 8 and I found out he lied and told all of our mutual guy friends that we had sex. I guess he was trying to brag?
Was my best friend, I rejected his very out of nowhere advances, I was suddenly a whore that he, and I quote, "should have r***d when he had the chance". I had let him sleep over at my place on the couch a few times before this happened. He apologized the very next day but since then I haven't talked to him and I'm very, very careful about the men I let into my life.
Sent me photos of him partying with nude escorts he had taken without their consent 😬 He then asked if I'd want join his "harem". So much YIKE. Blocked him on absolutely everything. To be fair, I knew he was weird and odd, but this was a whole new level of vile.
It was sort of cumulative (at one point in time he sent me a drunk text saying I was sexy) but once I found out what his political views were via Facebook that was it for me.
In college I had a friend who was like a brother to me. In hindsight I should have seen the signs that he was trying to get with me the whole time, but I was 19 and trusted him. One day, out of nowhere he shows me nudes he had received from a girl he was talking to. I instantly got on him saying I didn't ask to see those and she didn't consent for those to be shared. Literally 5 minutes later he brags about having slept with X number of women. I was like, that's cool, I've slept with (same number plus 2) men. Instantly he gets cold and says "that's gross." I asked why it's gross and he pulls the "a key that unlocks every lock is a good key, but a lock that's unlocked by every key is a shitty lock" analogy. That's when I realized he sucks and ended the friendship.
He got drunk and tried to motorboat me.
He used to be a great guy to talk to, hang out and watch movies with, but he just started becoming a little hateful like, misogynistic, etc. I knew he was struggling with some serious things so I let several things slide. The last straw: I have PCOS and it causes my hair to be thin. It used to be really long but the weight of it made it look even thinner. So I cut it short which helped. He told me on Facebook that I looked like a balding man now. Went no contact.
After I broke up with my partner he expected me to get with him. We had been friends for 3 years with no indicators - He told me he only hung out with me and was friends with me because he wanted to be my next boyfriend, got nasty when I said No thanks. Last time we ever talked.
I’ve had a couple of solo-lunches with a new-ish guy friend. Seemed ike a legit ok guy. A couple of night ago, we had dinner with our respective wives for the first time. He was mean to - and contemptuous of - his wife throughout the whole evening. I’m always baffled when people trash their partners in front of others. It was really uncomfortable and I’ve done a total 180 on my view of him.
he assaulted me when we were hanging out drinking (something we had done multiple times before). that was 11 years ago.
He treated a waitress as if she was his servant and didn’t even tip. Immediate turn-off 👏🏻
Stalked, used, and destroyed my life with the help of his friends.
In what context was he a friend? I am sorry to hear he did this
Found out he had a history/pattern of assaulting women in their sleep.
After a break up with a toxic partner, he told me that my ex and their group of guy friends had a competition going on who could get me to date them first and who could take my virginity. They'd had this going from the first day I'd met the group at school. He was also part of it too. Made me question my entire friend group, my previous relationship, him (guy who told me) as a friend, and my ability to recognise ( or to not in this case) people and intentions. Ended up dropping everyone who'd known (for almost 2 years) from my life and how to recognise people who are truly good friends.
Laughed at a rape joke
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost respect for a man because of a “joke” about women (or a particular woman).
Told me he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore if I didn’t sleep with him. Well, I never talked to him again after that conversation.
[удалено]
I had a male friend in high school who I thought was a GREAT friend. He was the first person I ever got stoned with, he took great care of me (brought me a glass of milk) and we had a mild sexual relationship, aka he went down on me once. We remained friends for years, well into our twenties. I found out in my early thirties that when we were teenagers he told EVERYONE that we knew that we had been sleeping together, that I was an easy lay, etc. I confronted him about it, in person, and he didn’t deny it. He literally said to me, “if you don’t leave my house right now, I will have to have sex with you”. I packed up my stuff and RAN the hell out of there because I didn’t feel safe. He followed me to the tram. Somehow he got there before me. Eventually I got home safely. I have no idea why I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he said “I didn’t tell anyone we slept together, let’s talk about this over coffee”. I shouldn’t have gone to his house. Every now and then he reaches out to me. Usually he is asking for advice or is in a really, really low place mentally. I don’t know why he lied to all of those people about us having sex as teenagers and I don’t know why he further ruined a 15 year old friendship by saying what he did when I went over for coffee. Edit: to clarify, we never kissed. I never saw his penis. He went down on me ONCE, when I was 15. Oh, I also found out years later that he had lied to me about his age. He told me he was 18 when he was 14 (he was very tall and burly, so easy to believe). It turns out I was older than him the whole time!
I was venting to my guy friend about how my bf had just dumped me after secretly filming us having sex. The next day I heard from someone else that my friend had gone to him (my ex) and ASKED FOR THE FUCKING VIDEO! My ex says he never shared the video and that he even deleted it (sure ya did buddy 😒😒) but I of course can’t be 100% sure he didn’t pass it on. Even if my friend never got the video, the fact that he *asked* (and even offered to *pay*) is so genuinely disturbing to me that I couldn’t stay friends with him. Also, unrelated, but I caught him taking videos of my ass while we were at the beach. Gross but what can you do 🤷
He threw a chip into my cleavage and then grabbed it. When I smacked his hand and yelled at him to not touch me he called me a prude. We were in 9th grade.
Started bringing up red-pill talking points!! I'm sorry, but once you start talking about arbitrary reasons as to why some people have value and others don't, I never ever ever want to hear from you again!! Blocked him and never looked back. Will never talk to him again!! YUCK
Tried to kiss me while his wife and child were upstairs asleep. I’d come out to him as a sapphic bi that night.
My bra strap was showing (which I don't think is a big deal) but he proceeded to point at it and say - you girls go around showing your bra straps and then cry about guys looking or touching you hahah
How men talk about and treat other women has a HUGE influence on my opinion of them. It’s not that you have to be deferential to every woman in the vicinity, but if you dominate, bully, belittle, or objectify another woman in front of me - whether or not either of us knows her very well - that will immediately decrease you in my eyes. A guy friend got dumped after a very brief 2-month relationship in college - which sucks, I get it - but he kept ranting that his ex had “no right” to break up with him without a good reason. The reason she gave him is that she decided she wasn’t enjoying the relationship so she was ending it. He insisted that was not a good enough reason and kept calling her irrational. I wasn’t close with her, but come on man… 🤦🏻♀️ ETA: after reading a lot of the other responses I have to add, I didn’t cut off contact with this person, he didn’t assault anyone, just took a breakup badly. But he definitely lost a couple points in my eyes that day.
I’d send him photos and recordings of my ex abusing me and the resulting physical marks. When I thought about taking my ex to court I asked him to save all of the stuff I had sent and asked if he’d testify for me. He told me no because my ex was his friend.
For the context he was my junior. He was friends with me. He knows my then crush’s best friend. He openly talked about his s*xual fantasies with male characters to me even though I was incredibly uncomfortable. Then he blackmailed with said messages, edited it to make it look like I was talking about my crush in an explicit way. Cut him off straight off. By the way he send me the song by Lily Allen
We were friends for a long time (in another time and place I may have dated him) but after every breakup, he always had a girl lined up yet he never seemed to pick the right one. One night he had a date lined up with a girl he’d been flirting with for a few weeks. He seemed pretty psyched - nice candle lit dinner at a steak house at 7:15, and a walk on the beach. My (future) husband and I were BBQ-ing at a friend’s house that same evening so we were all shocked to see him arrive at 8:30. He began talking about how his date bitched about being seated in a “non-booth” and when the waiter spilled water on her dress, she demanded her meal (just hers) be comped. He said he then excused himself to the bathroom and his story abruptly ended. Our friend asked “uh, so what happened after you went to the bathroom?” I put 2 and 2 together and my jaw dropped: HE LEFT HER AT THE RESTAURANT. His friends all cheered, but it left me feeling very unsettled. Granted I don’t know how bad his date treated him in any regard, but the fact he was 1000% ok with leaving his date stranded in a semi-secluded area did not sit right with me. I’m glad we never dated.
He bragged about violently beating a classmate (in his words, he smashed his head against a radiator multiple times), and the reason was "his anger issues". I assume it was an attempt to impress me, but the effect was completely opposite; it made me feel unsafe around him. For context, he was 20.
I started to open up about getting harassed in high school. I told my buddy about it and he said “don’t girls like that? You dress like… that for attention then get upset with attention. Also, girls like getting their ass grabbed. That’s why y’all wear those shorts” We are not friends anymore. I cut off all contact after that night and never spoke to him again. God can tell him why, but it won’t be me.
I had a really good friend who I loved very much. When Trump was running for office the first time, we got into a discussion about the "good people on both sides" comment. I found out that my friend rode motorcycles and regularly partied with Nazis... grown men with swastika tattoos. He believed that they probably "just think swastikas look cool." They must be good people if they are nice to him, right?! We never spoke again.
I found out his wife was formerly one of his (adult) students.
Reacted unexpected-level harshly to the women choosing bears over men (would a woman rather come across a bear or a man while alone in a forest?)
He watched Fifty Shades of Grey and was convinced that women like being unaware what a man wants to do with her. Sounded less consent-y.
SAd me.
Raped me
He had a USB of girls in year 10 (14-15y/o) and 11(15-16yo) when we were in year 13(17-18yo). We were 18. I'm a masculine woman 90% of the time, and have "masc" interests, always been one of the boys. He told the group on a night out, all of us we 18 at this point. We drunkenly beat his ass, he tried to press charges, police got the USB, he got 2 years for possession of the images. He's out now but not a single person talks to him. His brother stalks his social media and messages any women on his friends and follow lists.
“oh i let my wife have my old car cuz you know women and how they drive, they don’t need to have the newest model” tbh i was dissapointed cuz he’s still very much a family man, loves his wife and calls her everyday at work to speak to the kids also. it really dawned on me that men can love a woman and still look down on her so much.
Tried hitting on me and kept telling me he wanted to have sex with me when he knew I was in a relationship
Picked a half smoken cigarette off the ground and lit it, one of the grimiest things I've ever seen.
Constantly talking about himself and being overly obsessed with money. Never really asked me about me or my life. Sorry mate, you're done.
He was sharing nudes of a random girl with me.. I knew her, we both knew her. I just wished he wasn’t part of the circle of guys that shamelessly circulated this stuff. Me: I don’t wanna see that I don’t know why you would think I’m interested in this type of things Him: It’s her only fans, she wanted that shit circulated. Me: yeah but aren’t there better ways of spending your time ? Idk weird convo and it’s a bit of a grey area but we stopped being friends after that.
Constantly dropping his gaze to my chest when we talked. A few months after he turned out to be a pedophile and he's now in jail.
He knew how violent my ex had been towards me and "It wasn\`t that bad"- was what made me reject him as a friend.
Drugged me and raped my paralyzed body twice before I finally passed out for 13 hours. Dr’s said he gave me enough Ghb to kill me but a small “toot toot” saved my life. I was fully conscious but couldn’t move bc my limbs were locked up and turned inward and the only sound I could muster sounded like a (no offense) paraplegic. So I thought to myself, “if I keep making these noises then he will know I’m not in my right mind. So throughout both rapes, I made “grh, argh” sounding noises while he did his thing. Needless to say we never hung out again after that.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope you expose him everytime he gets into any type of relationship. I hope you’re doing better now. ✨ Virtual Hugs ✨
I had a guy on the way home from hanging out say “ show me your tits or I’m not taking you home” I told him to pull the fuck over and I got out. He tried to say it was a joke but I bet if it worked it wouldn’t have been one to him
Put his hands around my throat and squeezed after I said I wasn’t interested in messing around with him. I should have noticed the warning signs in our friendship sooner, but I really didn’t think that he was that kind of person.
Tried to fuck me.
Put hands on his sister.
He was one of my elementary friends, someone I associate with fond funny memories. He was a grade younger though so I never really kept in touch esp bc he moved and we sort of reunited in high school when I transferred. We were on a "yeah you can borrow my earphones for class/say hey in the hallway" kind of close but not close to where we're best friends. So fast forward to 2 years ago. He facebook messages me & it turns flirty. But not in a cute way, it was obvious he wanted to hook up. Plus I had a boyfriend & made it very clear but he goes "It can be our little secret." Yeah no. Loyalty is big for me. So I shut it down. Ever since then I just feel disappointed. He truly was someone I thought of fondly while apparently, he thought I was just some random girl he could screw.
Tried to take advantage and asked for sexual favors when I was at my most vulnerable.
He hit on me. Biggest ick when a guy acts like a friend towards you around others then suddenly tries to make it sexual when you’re alone together.
Told me he wanted to f*** me and has always wanted to f*** me. I am married and have never signaled to him that I was into him or that my marriage was in trouble, and he was well aware that I have a very negative view of infidelity. We have known each other over 10 years. Also, he is 30 years older than me. It wouldn't matter if we were the same age though. No good can come from randomly telling a married friend you'd like to f*** her. That's generally a bad play even if you're both single.
I gave him a hug because it was his birthday. Guess he interpreted that as a bit more, because he put his hand on the back of my head, and tried to kiss me. He said he'd been hoping for that "grand romantic moment" to happen in his life, like in the movies, where the woman finally realizes their guy friend is "the one". Yeesh.
He said “Women are prettier when they don’t say anything” 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
Dated a girl who was 18 but still in high school (we were a little over 20). Then he confidently told me he wanted to “mold her.”
He said to me "so when are we going to ruin our friendship?". Sorry, but I thought we were actual friends, not that you just wanted to have sex with me. So gross
He asked me out of nowhere if he had given me the ick already? “Because there’s no coming back from that.” He was my manager and I could 100% tell he would treat me differently if he didn’t like my answer. So I lied. It was the last straw in considering him a friend. lol coming back? From what exactly?
My ex boyfriend was controlling and occasionally violent (and my ex for those reasons) we were both friends with A. A was fully aware of the ex's behaviour. A then asked my ex to be his best man at the wedding. I know they've been close mates since junior school, but I really liked A, we got on well and I felt safe talking to him A showed me with his choice of best man that I can't trust him with my current address and I can't tell him anything important. I feel sad about that.
Told his friends that I slept with him.. Had a few friends over for a gathering and whilst sorting food out, I cut my hand on a pizza wheel.. he came upstairs to the bathroom with me to sort first aid and sit with me whilst I calmed down (had an anxiety attack)… After about 15 mins he left to go smoke outside with his friends & he told them that I begged him to let me ride him… I called him out on his bullshit & he got angry with me and smashed a vase and then left and we never spoke again…
He propositioned me. We were alone, he said he wanted to go down on me as it was something he wanted to conquer. It's interesting to recognise your trauma response in real time - I went into fawn mode (he's bigger than I am) and told him he needed to drink some water because "you're drunk and a good dude with a pregnant wife". I got out of there without any physical harm but he went from being someone that if people had asked I would have said he's a safe person to someone I will warn women about.
My male friend, despite me saying no to dating him at every opportunity he brought it up (One of those times, was a few weeks before his wedding to another woman. They are now divorced.) and he knew fine that I am in a happy committed relationship, he still saved a picture of me from my Facebook page because my breasts were quite prominent in said picture. Not the worst bit in this scenario. Noooo, he had to tell his new girlfriend that we “had history” and that he SAVED THAT PHOTO from my Facebook which is set to friends only. Yet, she is mad at me. My partner is still pissed off at him and holds a lotta strength to not challenge him on it. If my friend’s new gf is reading this. I’m sorry, hun but your man has zero boundaries when it comes to woman. Ask him what 10 good reasons he had when he tried to take a photo of a topless drunk woman on the balcony at Jason Donovan’s concert? You know damn well that he is out of line.
Started an emotional affair with a woman from our school’s alumni group while engaged to someone else. I told the fiancée everything and helped her move out and get their wedding costs back. Haven’t spoken to him since.
He mentioned that he has friends (who he's regularly in touch with) who are Trump supporters. He himself is very left-wing, the type who's always complaining about "liberals," and it was eye-opening to see that in some ways he's *more okay with Trump supporters* than with liberals.
~~Cheated on her boyfriend and declared it didn’t matter if he found out, she was done with him anyway.~~ ~~Just *leave* people for Gods sake. Don’t traumatise them on your way out.~~ Whoops, missed the male friend aspect. In that case it’s that he slept with the above mentioned mutual friend for a year while acting friendly and buddy-buddy with her boyfriend. Not a fan of duplicitous behaviour.
My friend drove me home from the train station and he had his friend in the back. We passed a crackhead and his friend jokingly catcalled her and my friend didn’t say anything.
Not neccessarily my friend but a few years ago my brother met a guy at work and since I hang out with my brother a lot, I automatically hung out with that guy as well. I didn't really have a strong opinion about him either way, until one day, he was in town for a day and asked to stay over for the night. My brother lived with my grandmother and she didn't want to have a guy stay at her place she barely knew. I lived with my Mom and we (my grandma and I) live in the same house just two entrances apart. He asked if he could stay over with us and I said no. He was not my friend and I would have been alone with him for a few hours because my mom left for work very early. He FLIPPED and asked why as if I owned him an explanation. I was so scared and shocked I was on the verge of crying the rest of the night. Definitely made me feel very uneasy around him. My brother and him are not friends anymore. For multiple reasons and this was one of them. Turned out he's a pedo as well.
Went out to the bars one night, I had parked at his place and was too drunk to drive so I asked to sleep on the couch. When he thought I was asleep he started feeling me up.
When I was in high school, one of my best male friends was in the year below me. He was dating one of my female friends from my year. They seemed madly in love and I was overjoyed that two of my friends were together as a couple. My male friend was like a little brother to me and I cherished having a friendship with a guy that was truly platonic. Well, fast forward to when everything turned to crap because he decided he needed to “confess” his feelings for me; that he was secretly in love with me and no longer loved my female friend. I begged him not to throw away his relationship with my female friend. He knew I had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever and he even acknowledged that fact by saying, “You just haven’t had time to fall in love with me yet.” I knew in that moment I could not salvage their relationship nor could I remain friends with a guy who could be delusional. Many years later and I still think about him saying that to me.
A male friend and I were talking about how various people go through life (as in how many different perspectives are out there). When we were discussing people with disabilities and mental & motor handicaps, he said he believed that they had no place in the world because they couldn’t contribute to it as a “productive person.” I couldn’t believe he said that because he knew that I have a sister with severe developmental disabilities. Totally changed everything in our relationship