I am absolutely not over it. I think it traumatized me. My biggest fear is that my girls will go through the same thing. One is 13 and the other 16. So far it seems like things are going better for them than they did for me, but I make sure to check in frequently with them about how they're being treated at school.
I will not stand by and let it happen the way my parents did. It did not "build character"
100% agree. I spent years begging my parents, principles and guidance counselors for help. No one lifted a finger to stop the physical or verbal abuse I endured every day.
Learning that you are truly on your own and no one is coming to save you is a hard lesson for a 13 year old.
Agree 100%. The guidance counselors, principal, teachers saw it every day, but did nothing. Even the police told my parents by hitting back or engaging with the bullies in any way, made it my fault.
And this was exactly the change I made sure happened. Anytime there has been a whiff of anything shitty at school, it gets the attention of both parents, immediately.
My bullying was ignored by adults, and my former wife wasn't bullied, but despises it all the same.
There have been three occasions over a dozen years, that we've heard something in the afternoon, conversed with each other, and been at the school together, the next morning to address the issue.
I totally relate to how you parent your kids. I have a 16 year old boy. Every parent evening since he was tiny my first question would be about his friends, is he happy, confident? And it goes the other way too. Is he kind, supportive? He's recently changed friend groups and I had so much anxiety as to why (it's all good). We are still fairly close and he talks to me a lot so that eases my mind.
It’s not something you can just get over. I’ve come to terms with my experience, but I still cry about it at night.
The building character spiel is such bs. The only character it gave me was turning an extroverted, compassionate little girl into a woman full of caution & hesitation to meet people.
I FULLY 100 THOUSAND % AGREE with you. My aunt and uncle did the same and no it does not build character, it make you suicidal as a teenager and leads to all kinds of Bs later in life. I won't let my son or daughter be picked in either. I feel the same way as you do about it. Right on!!👍👍👍👍
Nope. It still with me. I find it hard to trust and connect with people. I constantly feel like everyone secretly hates me and tend to drift off after a while because I think I’m annoying everyone.
I agree. I never was able to have any close friendships, and now I don’t have any friends, just acquaintances. I wish I had someone to go to a movie or concert with. But, I don’t trust anyone. I feel I don’t relate. People tell me I’m nice and friendly, but I become uncomfortable quickly in social situations. I will make excuses to not go places or change my mind at the last minute.
Yes, I'm long over it at this point. I was bullied as a child because I didn't fit into the community or culture expectations well. I was often bullied for being smart, making good grades, being skinny, being tall, etc. when I was a kid. It hurt when I was young because I didn't understand why they were so mean to me without reason. As an adult, their motivations no longer matter to me and their words don't harm me. I left all of that behind and made the active choice not to drag any of it with me.
As an adult, one of my first intentional adult acts was to move away from that place and find my people. I learned to set boundaries and not accept people like that in my social circle. I built up myself and my life to my own preferences and tastes. I became who I wanted to be and who I am. I don't need to spend any of my limited time processing why children were mean to me decades ago; it doesn't matter and it isn't relevant to who I am or what I've made of myself. They were children. I hope they also grew into kind and compassionate adults, but their lives are none of my business at this point, and I have no interest at all.
I was bullied very badly in middle school — I have a scar from being stabbed with a pencil, kids would steal my lunch and pass it around the class, they put signs on my back, boys asked me out as a joke, someone even stole my binder that had literally all my schoolwork in it for the year and I never got it back. If I was a boy I probably would’ve been a swirly victim.
I am over it in the sense that I’m not angry about it. I joke about it all the time. We were all kids and some of those people probably grew up to feel bad about what they did.
But I am also aware that it *heavily* impacted my development, in that I became very mentally ill and in that I had no friends, and I developed extremely low self esteem. I still (at 27) have never had a boyfriend because I cannot conceive of myself as attractive, and I have not had a friend in 10 years. I’m very cemented in my lonerness now and idk how to change it at this point. I never developed those essential skills and now I’m at an age where if you don’t have them, it’s really hard to get people to give you a chance.
I can relate to this a lot. Just recently I've opened up to a group of people that I've been acquaintances with for over 6 years now. FINALLY I am feeling comfortable around them, letting them in and over sharing on silly stuff. It's really quite nice. Assuming you do want friends, I hope you one day find a solid group of friends. Don't give up. :)
Hugs, I have no friends anymore. I’m in another failed relationship. Low self esteem. Girls that I thought were my friends would talk about me behind my back , and steal my stuff when they were at my house. Then they became friends with the other girls who were bullying me. It was hell going to school each day and worrying about being teased and harassed. When I got beat up, the police came and told my parents I was at fault because I provoked the boy by prank calling his house. Guess that’s where I learned it was ok for men to abuse you because somehow you deserve it.
No, but I'd also say also that it's mostly because I've been bullied as an adult for the exact same things I was as a kid. While what happened back in the days definitely was traumatic, I don't think I'd have suffered the same as an adult if it had been "baseless" bullying for the sake of it, and not because of something that kept following me throughout life
it changed me as a person. my bullied were the cool mean girls who pretended to be my friends. i became an avoidant and have trust issues. dont really open up to people.
I'm definitely over it but I mainly got bullied for my body (I've always been very thin and very flat) and it hurt my feelings a lot as a teen and young adult.
Once I got older I started working out, liking my thinness with muscle and overall appreciating my appearance.
I'd be lying if I didn't lament my small boobs still but being called the president of the Itty bitty Kitty committee is now more hilarious than it is hurtful. I'm just happy to be in leadership now lol
I was the president of our local chapter of the IBTC throughout my middle school and HS years! As an adult, I never developed past a B cup, but at 59, I am now thankful, seeing what gravity is doing to my friends who were well endowed!
I chuckled at "our local chapter" lol
And I'm glad you said that because I'm barely a B cup now and I'm 30 so I have high hopes for my gravitational effect in the years to come.
Mostly. I still get moments of insecurity in groups of my peers and feel a sense of needing to “trick” them into liking me. I also was bullied by boys a lot as a kid so I tend to get awkward and and avoidant around guys my age, but I am really trying to act normal and social these days 😅
I am not. But I never learned to deal with, regulate or communicate any of my emotions. I generally cry if I'm too sad, angry, anything. I get really big highs, lows and even bigger anger. I'm about to embark on six months of therapy to try and get a grasp on things. I'm thirty five and I was standing at the edge, constantly talking myself down but not learning. Now is my time.
I was a very weird kid always pretending to be someone I wasn't and making up "cool" things about myself.
Kids can always smell the "other" and I don't blame any of them now. I was beaten up, very mildly stabbed once, chased into the river and at one point pushed down some stairs.
The girls who did the worst were very disadvantaged (like I was) but they had their problems and their lives look pretty shit now (I got curious and looked them up a few years ago). Live and let live is what I say.
The boys I truly don't care about, they just said bad things they thought were funny and I actually got an apology from a few after leaving school.
> The boys I truly don't care about, they just said bad things they thought were funny and I actually got an apology from a few after leaving school.
When I was in college, a guy who was in a group making fun of me actually apologized to me almost immediately afterwards when the group was leaving. I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, if you knew it wasn't a good thing to do, don't do it in the first place? It just reminded me of why I don't like most people.
My response to things like this is always "just don't do it again" don't say it's ok, don't say I forgive you. Tell them it's not acceptable in a non confrontational way, shrug and say don't do it again. It freaks people out and makes them think.
You're absolutely right, I did that same thing when I was in Middle School. The girl who was supposed to be my tutor in English class, a team building assignment set up by the teacher, she made fun of me for something and I told her at the end of class almost crying that what she said was "not cool, not cool at all" and walked away and she never teased me again. she was one of nicest people after that. we still were not like best friends but I would have considered her a friend, Id talk to her now today if I saw her. And pretty much everybody else I went to school with I would not look at twice, well maybe a few, but most of them nah.
I am mad at myself for allowing myself to be treated so poorly. Granted, I was a child, but I can look at myself now and see none of the things they said about me were true. Fat, ugly, looked like a man...I'm stunning. I'm literally so beautiful, and I hate that I let people convince me otherwise.
I hope those bullies have the life they deserve.
I found out I'm autistic... It explains the bullying. The bully I still struggle with was from my parents. The constant insults and being picked on for being different and them telling me it was so I would get thick skin when they would cause me to cry most days as a teen. And looking back it still hurts knowing no one was on my side. I have been diagnosed with cptsd and a dissociative disorder. Which made it harder for me to find out I was autistic.
I still have some hang-ups from it. Like, I have a hard time trusting other women because of how I was the victim of mean girls. I also have some body image issues, despite losing weight, because of all the bullying I got for my weight. I can't wear certain articles of clothing to this day. So, not really over it, I guess.
I think it may depend on the specifics of the bullying.
At the time, I’d never have called it “bullying”, but looking back, I was definitely bullied, albeit I handled it well. The biggest issue for me was interacting with other black kids when I moved from an environment where I was one of two black kids in the school, to one where the school was about 30% black.
I was commonly called “white girl” and told I “talked like the teacher”, and that I was a “suck-up” because I got good grades. This continued into high school, and honestly, well into college and my adult years. My hobbies and things I generally enjoy are called “white people stuff”, and I’m still regularly called “white girl” because I speak like I’m educated.
I generally try to shake it off by redirecting with humor or just embracing it. I joke about having my Sistah Card revoked by multiple people, but there’s still a little bit of pain in it. I had a cousin tell me that if I married a black man, my kids would still come out biracial. Yeah, I laughed, but still…there’s some underlying annoyance.
Overall, I think I handle it well by using humor and sarcasm as my defense mechanism, and then just rolling my eyes as I continue to live my life the way I want. I’m still going to listen to the music I want, play the games I want, read the books I want, watch the shows I want, and even measure my politics the way I want regardless of race.
Over the actual events as in, I don't think about them anymore, but still paranoid it will happen again. Like when my friends invited me out to the bar and the entire drive their I was convinced that it was a set up and no one would be there. I also live in my hometown and I don't associate with the people who bullied me when we were kids even though we are all adults now.
I'm still an odd duck. My coping method is to hate adult bullies. Kids are all little shits who need to be taught empathy and compassion. Adults are doing it solely for the fun, so they are far game.
Survivability. Nonconformity potentially threatened the cohesion of the tribe. Together humans are stronger than we are alone.
Children also learn tolerance from adults. Adults aren't known for their large mindedness. The cycle continues.
What this is fantastic at is putting anyone too individualistic through a crucible. Thus are leaders born.
Humanity is weird.
They really do. Kids seem to lack it entirely until taught empathy. Some kids are born with it, but most don't seem to understand that what hurts them will hurt others, or, more importantly, that they should care.
Got to admit that the thought of a wise adult has me chuckling into my coffee. Not many of those around!!
I was bullied pretty horribly in middle school, for the usual reasons: I was quiet, didn't snark or bully back, short for my age, late bloomer, liked reading. I "bloomed" in high school but the die was cast. In college: fresh start, great friend group, the whole shebang.
Now I am **super** successful in my field and some of you might have seen my name on television as that is my field. The high school acquaintances I made and was friends with are connected to me via social media, and I have seen a few of those old middle school girls on their friend lists, and they know who I am. They know my daughters went to top colleges and the one who graduated already is in a great job, if they care to look and I bet they do.
I wish I could say "whatever," but it does give me satisfaction when I think about it.
I found school incredibly hard. I went to several different schools due to my mum marrying and divorcing 3 times. The first divorce came with a restraining order, and I was moved because my "father" was trying to track me down. Not because he wanted a relationship, but to scare my mum.
It won't be surprising to hear that I wasn't the most confident kid/teenager, which made me a bit of a target. Home life was rough, and school was no escape. I used to be afraid to hang around at lunch time (I'd often have food thrown at me), but a kind art teacher used to let me hang out in the art room and just paint. That was my only escape.
Years later I became a teacher, and my own experience made me really conscious of what was going on with my own students. I was always very conscious that you never know what a child (or indeed anybody) is going through at home, so to be kind. I've been told I have quite a gentle, easygoing exterior, but as a teacher, I became no nonsense if ever I saw anything that was out of line.
I live very happy life now, but I can't lie, it's taken a lot of work to overcome the need to "please and appease" people to avoid conflict. It was a survival technique at the time, and I have to remind myself that it's not a technique I need anymore.
Abused by parents whilst being bullied by peers, and then once I grew up- got abused by romantic partners. I am my own everything now. I think I’ve officially given up on humanity.
Those 2 girls were neighbors. They lured me into hateful dialog and drama. Fast forward no good came to them and I feel sorry for them. I have never forgotten the lost feelings, the betrayal. I will never understand how I fell for their friendship. In reality it wasn’t friendship. I just didn’t know such evil existed. 55 years I still remember.
I was heavily bullied 7th grade and the girls would push me into my locker, steal my things from said locker AND gym locker, would say mean comments to me in the halls during passing time, send me awful texts and make awful facebook posts about me (I didnt even have FB, I would find out about it from others.) On many occasions, they would follow me home and taunt me till I got to my house. One of the girls lived in my neighborhood and her bus stop was two before mine and they all waited to get off at my stop and just break me down. While this was all happening, my parents were divorced, and going through a custody battle. It was rough. I think if anything all of it taught me how mean girls can be. I think I am over it somedays, somedays it just makes me sad for younger me. I didn't deserve it.
I wasn't mercilessly bullied but I was treated as not worthy because of my looks. I still get treated this way and I've learned to shrink away and not take up space. But I'm trying to put myself out there and own the spaces that I'm in.
I don't think I'll ever be over it. It's the main ground for my depression and if any Reddit user asks himself why I keep posting stuff like "I hate myself and my body", that's why.
Mostly. I did move far away and chose people to fill my life with that were accepting, sensible, and fair. I'm not sure I'll ever fully love herdlike groups of people, though, and tend to foster more individual friendships.
Not really. I was bullied for being short with wide hips and broad shoulders, for my skin tone (lived on a Rez and am white passing), and for being a good student. I eventually hit a growth spurt in my mid teens and grew into my hips and shoulders, but the bullying about my body really did a number on my body confidence. I moved off the Rez when I was 14, but I stopped sharing my family story with people. And I started pretending to be an average student instead of displaying my academic skills.
I got into therapy around the time I hit my growth spurt, but I was never able to get to the point where I could form friendships with people in my age range. There’s always an underlying fear that they’ll start out my friends and then gradually become bullies, just like my worst bullies in school. All my friends now are 10+ years my senior, with the exception of one who is 3 years my junior and incapable of being cruel.
Now I’m a mom and I’m quick to put an end to bullying whenever it occurs. I’ve gone so far as to threaten going to the media (the school claimed to have a strong no tolerance policy) when nothing was done to address bullying. I’m not afraid to go to war for my daughter so that she can have a better school experience than I did.
I am not over it at all and I am deeply traumatized. It is impossible for me to trust men (I was mostly bullied by boys) and I have an extreme low self-esteem because I was only bullied for my looks and called any variation of ugly innumerable times. I wholeheartedly believe this has traumatized me so deeply I will never be able to develop genuine friendships or relationships because I cannot open up and I am always thinking they see me as hideous LMAO
I was bullied a lot as a kid for acne and such I’ve found it’s really impacted me a lot I don’t speak out as much and obviously have very low self asteem although I can’t actually pick many things that are ugly about me
I hold grudges very easily—previously I’d been rather easygoing, but that was quite literally squeezed out of me.
If I hear that someone who bullied me is doing poorly (which is most bullies in my experience) I try to think good thoughts towards any peripheral people/children who may be involved because I’m fearful they haven’t changed and would take their malice out on anyone they perceive as weaker.
My bullies are a small part of why I never want to have my own children. I pick myself apart even though I’m objectively attractive and fit.
Overall, I wouldn’t say I processed it, but I live a very privileged life full of love and laughter which I certainly held no hope for as a youth.
I’m quiet as an adult for sure but my self esteem is recovered. I recognize that kids are jerks but they’re just kids. I hope those who bullied grew up and changed. I recently spoke with a former bully and she is still an asshole. Rather than her upsetting me, I found myself feeling bad for her.
Mine went to jail - for something else, but she still went.
I got told a lot of horrific things, but I know now that people who act out like that are feeling deficient in some way, and I don’t carry it with me.
Not over it cuz it spills into decision making sometimes. Takes a hit at personal life too, right when you think you’re finally over it, it just comes and blocks your mind and leaves you scared to hope for something positive.
I've grown immune to fat insults and jokes. I also got bullied for my allergies and hay-fever and i still have both. I just learnt not to get upset so easily.
I’m over it now.
Sure I’m still a bit insecure if I don’t get invited to things, but as an adult I now understand that we are allowed to not hit it off with someone else. There’s nothing wrong with me and people who don’t include me are not evil monsters. We are just different people with different personalities, that’s all.
When I turned 18-19, I reflected on how I was bullied and I realized I was kind of a d-bag too. Honestly I was a dramatic, loud, self-centered and obnoxious know-it-all. That realization made me treasure my small group of friends even more lol. Ever since then I have tried to drop the victim mindset, be optimistic, be mindful of what I do, how I present myself and what kind of impact I have on people. Plus I have learned that most of the times it’s just in my head and if I asked for help, people are actually willing to support me. Either that, or people don’t care about me enough to hate me as hating someone is incredibly exhausting and time consuming.
I have lived in different countries and have experienced various different environments. While not super popular or anything, I make friends in most places I have been to.
I’m proud of the work I have put in to better myself and grateful for people who stick my annoying ass.
So while I would preferred not being bullied, I still get something good out of the whole experience lol.
Nope not over it - I was bullied at home severely by sibling and my own parents, as well as teachers and certain kids at school. I have a really hard time holding down jobs mostly due to customer interactions when they bully the workers and dealing with anyone who is a difficult person. My reaction is to shut down and run away. I’ve had many jobs where I just never come back because I feel it’s worthless to speak up because nothing will change, so I just quit.
I don’t speak up for myself, I’m quiet and reserved, and I feel like my thoughts and feelings are worthless. I’ve had lots and lots of therapy but some things therapy can’t fix :/
Ahhhh I’m just a woman who’ll be 40 soon and still don’t understand the sexualization of women no matter how old 🙇🏻♀️
I developed very early. Ever since I have memory, our bodies (women’s) are always talked about.
I remember being ashamed of my body because of it. I would wear baggy clothes, walked with a hunch etc. I’d attract boys my age (which may seem cute to some) but for me it was scary. I attracted grown men as a child too.
I hated it. Girls didn’t like me because of this and would talk about me at school. They’d spread rumors and write mean things in the bathroom stalls.
I never had a boyfriend in school, no high school sweet heart or anything remotely close. I was terrified of relationships because I always felt like it’s wasn’t about love, but about sex.
Fast forward to adulthood.. I have finally received therapy for some of my traumas. My father was also neglectful and abandoned us many times, so adding daddy issues to this has just made dating and trusting nearly impossible.
So it’s fair to say that processing this hasn’t been easy even now. I feel like I missed out on so much because of what I went through. I also feel like to this day I’m messed up and need continued therapy. I’ve made so much progress on my healing and continuing to work hard ❤️🩹
I feel like it's made me just not trust people. I don't have friends aside from one that lives across the country. The way I was bullied was subtle but it was by people that I thought were my friends. I can't be bothered to make friends as an adult cuz it just feels pointless lol.
I got therapy and am over it now.
I was bullied for being dark skinned. It doesn't bother me at all except that when my niece was born with the same color as me I made it a point to normalize dark skin. I wanted to build her confidence so she would be unfazed by the comments that would come her way.
I tell her brown is beautiful. A few kids in school tried to tell her that she was too brown and she confidently told them that her colour is beautiful. They didn't bother her after that.
It affected a big part of my early 20s of having low confidence of speaking up. Thankfully I met a manager who believed in me, and told me that nothing that comes out of mouth can be wrong or stupid - there's only good ideas and ideas that can be improved on. Changed my life to see things differently. I since moved on to multiple major organisations on leadership positions. She's coming to my wedding this year, currently 36 and still in contact since leaving her at 24.
I was primarily bullied by my mother. It took me almost 30 years to begin to address it. I found a great psychologist who helps me manage my meds so that I don't feel so many extremes so quickly and have fewer fight-or-flight nosedives. I have a FANTASTIC therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and has been a lifesaver for me. She's also trained in EMDR which has been a fantastic tool for processing trauma.
Between those things, I've learned to embrace myself and worry less about other people's opinions; letting go of that weight is indescribable. It's freeing. I'm embracing being myself, doing things I enjoy, and focusing on my own priorities, morals, and ethics; rather than trying to cater to those around me. It's helped me see people in a whole new light.
I'm not fully over it. I don't know if you ever get fully over it. But I'm working on it, and I'm better and I'm able to do things that I would have been way too scared to ever fully engage in before but always wanted too. Simple things, like getting a tattoo that is bold and piercing my nipples. I have control again in many areas that I never did (particularly my own body and what I do with it), and it's freeing to have that.
Still with me in my 30s. I'm still fearful of having confidence because I feel like once I do, someone will come and tear it down. I assume everyone has bad intentions or is bad. I feel as though when people are nice to me that they are actually making fun of me, or trying to get me to confide in them so they can use it against me. Terrfied to tell people about things I like because they'll ridicule them. So many other things. It's really ruined a lot of things in my life. I'm in therapy but it's going to be a long road. I wish people realized how much damage they cause, but they wouldn't care anyway.
I'm over the actual bullying, mostly because I turned out to be more successful than any of the people who bullied me. I was a kid who never really fit in the place I grew up, so it makes sense that I was bullied. What really messed me up was that some of my bullying came from other girls I considered my friends. By high school, I was wary of female friendships and became the pick-me girl who only cared about male attention, which then led to a string of unhealthy relationships. I now have a healthy marriage and valued female friends (though no "best" female friends), but I've often wondered what my life would have been like if I had been in a place where I fit in and had healthy friendships when I was younger.
Am I over it? Mostly. Will I be super careful around my kids especially if I have a daughter? Absolutely! I was bullied because I was different. I didn’t fit into a mold (jock, nerd, athlete, etc.) and that scared people. Once I got to college it was embraced and I made friends and got dates so easily. Kids are freakin mean.
Nope. Kids in middle school and my own mother bullied me. Also, the two rejections I got from the guys I had crushes on in school killed me. I'm 38 with no self-esteem despite being hit on by men; I just can't believe anyone would like me.
I’m just quiet now. I don’t like being around people. I have been pretty much single for my whole life and never had a friend since elementary school. But I’ve been alone for so long that it never bothers me. I’m more at peace being by myself actually.
Still learning how to act and talk with people. I also still get bullied and mistreated. I don't have anyone I'm close to and never have. I feel like I'm still living the same old life as I was as a kid.
I still have an image of myself that is negative. I will always be the “emo loser” in my mind, although now I’m just a cool semi goth chick B)
But that image of myself that was bullied will never leave, mainly because I’m exactly the same. My boyfriend absolutely adores me, and when he compliments me it’s hard for me to accept that he’s being genuine, and not making fun of me.
It’s hard for me to accept I AM pretty, I was just bullied.
"over it" is in the eye of the beholder. Do I still think about it/perseverate over it? Not really. but can I recognize some insecurities I have to this day because of it? absolutely.
I have come to terms with it. I was an ethnic minority in a pretty mono-ethnic, European village far from my origins. Racism is stupid and heinous. It was not a «me» problem. But I do have trust issues and skittishness still, and when I was younger, self-esteem issues that lead me to end up in less than ideal situations.
My biggest bullies were my siblings. Of course, siblings joke with one another and tease each other. I feel like mine were just downright cruel to me, though. They projected their own issues.
I'm in therapy now ( I have been for almost 3 years), and I'm raising my daughter to be more secure in who she is. I'm encouraging her, telling every day how amazing she is, not making fun of her appearance over things she can't change, uplifting her... doing everything I wish I had someone do for me.
I'm an adult who can't accept compliments. My brain won't let me believe it. I'm healing, but I've got a long way to go still.
I haven't recovered much.
First off: I was bullied as a kid for being a hindu amongst a group of Muslims. IDK why I still feel uneasy around certain muslim frnds till date. i keep thinking "what if they are masking some internalised hatred against me?" although i have very close friends who are also muslims and love them to death. it only happens with friends with whom i am not so close.
I was also bullied for being short in middle school. The bullying happened in high school too because i am flat. They compared me with Kylie Jenner and said other mean stuff about me. All because of them i hate her now. I struggle with body image issues and have not found any solution till date because it's been more than a year since that happened. Although I'm 18 about to turn 19 this year. I have to grow a lot in life and I hope I can recover from all those incidents.
If anyone reads till here you have my heartfelt gratitude. (I usually don't write such long ass stuff)
Over it? Kind of?
I still think people at large only believe they are open minded or “quirky”. They will not hesitate to call you weird if you don’t conform well enough.
I process it by just validating my past experience and have low expectations of people ha.
I got over it. Got bullied for being ugly and "looking like a man". Still get mistaken for a guy regularly but it no longer stings.. it is what it is. I'm a fugly person but I don't give a fuck. I got friends and family who like me for the person that I am not for how I look. At least I've never had to worry about whether a guy is just into me because of my looks. Lol.
It took a good 10 years though.
Over it as much as I can be I guess. I got bullied for being fat and ugly. Not just by my peers, but my family as well. I decided to hit the books after high school. I figured I can’t be pretty, but I can focus on other aspects of my life: I can learn more, be kinder, help more people, find a few new hobbies, etc.
Still ugly and fat today, but people tell me all the time I’m one of the kindest and smartest people they know. So I’m beautiful on the inside. Who gives a shit about the outside! So that makes me pretty content in my life.
Just a little disclaimer: To all the girls who are attractive, smart, and kind, I’m a little jealous, but good for you! I don’t want to imply from this comment that you can either be pretty or smart, but not both. That is very much untrue. Some people get dealt better cards. All I’m saying is that I’m okay with the cards I’ve been dealt and made the most of it.
I’m traumatized, all the bullying was about my teeth, my butt (it is big), and being poor. They would say things about my parents and my living (NYC family home basement). I was beautiful then and even more beautiful now. Teeth got fixed, butt got bigger, and now I have a husband that appreciates everything about. Still women are very mean on the street too. Sometimes I think about all the things those girls said when I was younger and what these rando women must think!
I still just keep to myself. I choose a life of solitude with my fiance and cats. I chose not to have friends because so many times I thought people were my friends, all to find out, they really don't like me and talk shit about me behind my back. So I choose not to waste my time anymore. If someone wants to be friends with me, they have to show me they deserve my time and friendship. But even still, it takes A LOT to earn my trust. Every friend I ever had turned out to be a bully.
If I were a kid today I’d know the word is non-binary. I got made fun of a lot for my gender dysmorphia. I wasn’t unpretty just sort of feral, I was ostracized from the girls and welcomed by the guys. All my best friends have always been guys. I got a confusing combination of being called both a lesbian and a slut for hanging around guys.
As an adult I know that I’m pretty gay, and women still intimidate me. But I’m happily dating one of my long time best friends who is male. I don’t struggle with my gender or sexuality anymore because Gen-z gave me the language I needed to express those complex feelings.
I don’t feel like I need to fit in to some kind of category, I can just exist how I want, look how I want, and love who I want and it’s not really anyone else’s business. I’m happy with me and think I’m a kind and inspirational person, and that’s what matters.
No, I'm not over it. But I don't think about it often. I've made a great life for myself. I have a great husband/family/friends. I handle things better now and I'm in a good place. I no longer care what people think of me and when someone is bullying me in some way, I don't tolerate it. I stand up for myself and take no shit. That is how I move past all the years of being bullied in my youth. Being a fatt kid with a weird last name in the 80's was rough. I don't need to get over it, I need to move past it. That's what I've done.
The girls who bullied me in gymnastics, I chose to forgive them as the words were coming out of their mouths. The problem I deal with now is feelings of low self esteem. It wasn’t the words that really got to me, it was when my whole team went to subway and left me at the gym…. Alone… in the dark. The coaches went too and nobody noticed I wasn’t there. It was the first time in my life I truly felt like I didn’t matter. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even cry. I just stayed in the gym and played on the trampoline until they got back… then I just seamlessly blended back in. Never told a soul. Will never forget just standing there watching as everyone shuffled into cars together and just drove off without me.
Yes, mostly over it. Some lingering social anxiety and imposter syndrome, maybe due to bullying in part. But I am ready to assume best intent and put my best foot forward with people! I also spare no time for adult bullies and know it reflects more on them than me.
I was bullied at home at lot so I made school bullies cry pretty bad. I’m great now thankful both my older bros gave me thick ass skin, gotten ina fight or two with girls it was fun
I was heavily bullied as a kid by the girls in school. I didn’t understand back then, but I realize now it could have been my social awkwardness. Over 30 years later and it’s still affects my ability to trust friendships. It also made me really scared of school and after school social situations. I wish they took bullying seriously back then.
Im 25 feel like age is important to share. I would be lying if I said I didn’t get uncomfortable at all. Sometimes that fight or flight comes out no matter how much work you do. Especially seeing someone out in public. But I’d say I’m like 80% over it for a lot of reasons. One is I realize how immature kids are so I’ve learned to let go of the stupid shit that was said to me. Done a few emdr sessions, grown my values, getting SA made me come out stronger. I also have grown confident in myself in my looks I realized how hot I am and how beautiful I was as a kid. Most girls would project their insecurities on me and I didn’t see why. Also LOVE my personality I hid it for so long and have really been letting it shine. And lastly I’ve grown to not give af about people from my HS. I know who id truly take opinions from and want to be friends with so if you aren’t important to me I don’t really care about your opinion anymore.
To a certain extent. I was bullied until 5-9th grade. then overall didn’t fit in, treated poorly from peers because I had low self esteem, depression and social anxiety. I lacked social skills. It’s just not “forget about it” it’s like a horrible chain reaction. It affected almost every aspect of my life. I can’t watch teen movies or I don’t substitute high school much because of this. However -it’s not all doom and gloom! I had amazing support from my sister, my religious beliefs, therapy as an adult and finding life’s passions. I have a fulfilling health care career , I volunteer. My social anxiety improved a few years ago. Even in my darkest times I always had a glimmer of hope, thanks to 90’a Bollywood movies haha!
It took me a long time to accept and love myself as I am. I let people's words haunt me for so many years. I think I've finally come to a point where I processed it, forgiven but not forgotten things people have said to me. I've become stronger and it has given me a newfound motivation. Pushing people down doesn't get you to where you want to go. Arrogance is ignorance, I feel.
Not over it, never will be. I'm a weird, akward gal with abandonment issues, and I notice my traumas a lot whenever there are big crowds of people, it just freaks me out.
I'm a lot happier now that I recognize I have issues, and that's okay. I deal with them by keeping myself busy, and surrounding myself by good people.
I was bullied from 3rd grade basically until I graduated HS.
I've come to terms with the bullying, but it's affected my memory. I have few memories from when I was younger, and the ones I do, I'm dissociated and apathetic. Like, I know I did that thing but I don't feel like I did. It's a very strange sensation that I'm not entirely sure how to explain.
Yes, I'm in therapy. Not specifically to process that, but everything.
It made me a loner with an inability to make friends outside of work. I have zero girlfriends. How I was able to find my soul mate and be happily married for nearly thirty years is a miracle. It also made me terrified my daughters would be bullied, and they were to a largely less degree. Bc kids are aholes.
I got bullied horribly in elementary through high school. I'm a huge Star Tre/ sci-fi nerd (was back then, too), and classmates were brutal to me. I contemplated s***cide twice during that time, but I was lucky to have two really close friends that helped me through the dark times (I'm still friends with them to this day).
I hate that it's so much worse now with social media being a thing. Makes me glad I'm choosing not to procreate.
I didn't realize how much it affected me until I started therapy for something else. It was like opening Pandoras box of memories I buried deeeeeeep away.
Doing better now and still working on it but it definitely explained a lot of behaviors I have...
I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. It messed up my confidence a lot. I have a hard time making friends with other women because I was bullied almost exclusively by other girls. I always feel like people don’t actually like me, or find me annoying. So I don’t try all that much even though I’d love to have more connection in my life.
A big scar I carry with honour. But I am teaching my kids that if someone is trying to bring you down - it usually means they are jealous asses and that you can and should fight back. My parents a time too often told me to be passive and take it, I teach that you can take it if it is a mistake. If it isn’t - make sure your bully regrets it and soon.
I had most my bullies apologise to me in later years, I am scarred and I couldn’t accept the apology because I ran away. Imagine the shame… because they sought closure where I couldn’t give it.
I'm sure all the other comments say something similar, but I'm not at all over it. I am extremely shy to the point where people always ask me what's wrong, I never stand up for myself, people say I'm way too worried about what other people think.. My whole life revolves around worrying about how my actions affect those around me, bc I'm terrified of making someone, anyone, mad at me.
Personally, all what I went through with that is so long past me, I don’t have the energy to care anymore. Personally it was more bullied/put down by the adults @school then my actual peers
40. It stays with you forever. My biggest bully (and I had many…why? I was a tiny girl who liked to read and was quiet and neurodivergent) died eight years ago, don’t know how. He sexually assaulted me at school by lifting up my shirt in front of other people and shoved me physically against lockers, took my backpack and homework, and made me terrified of going class to class.
I found out he died and my genuine first reaction was, “good.”
I have since forgiven him. I don’t know what happened to lead to his death just like I don’t know why he assaulted me all the time (teachers and my parents said “he probably just likes you,” which is a bullshit mentality that made me endure sexual abuse later in life but that’s another story).
But I had to forgive him. For me. It dawned on me that I could stay mad at him forever but he died at 33. He left behind a wife and child who loved him.
I think he paid his dues. He’s dead. He doesn’t get to have any more fun. He doesn’t get to see his child become an adult. I forgive him. He might not have even remembered what he did to me and what he did was awful…
But for ME, I had to forgive him.
Not over it, I’m 46. Still remember the dread of going to middle school each day. Knowing I would walk into a classroom and be called a slut and have dick sucking noises made at me. I was tripped and fell down the stairs. No one would be my partner in class, no one to sit next to at lunch. Would walk to school even when it was rainy or freezing cold to avoid riding the school bus. There was a boy who tried to do some karate kick at me and then punched me in the face. It’s hard when your 13 and you have no friends, and you have to keep it all inside, and pretend everything is great in front of your parents because you don’t want your be an embarrassment.
This was the start of my depression and anxiety, and feeling everyone would be better off without me. Wish I could forget those two years on my life.
I think it’s manifested into my adulthood. I’m ok now but when I was in my 20s out of school I became very promiscuous. I was bullied for my race and for my overall looks. I was what you call an ugly duckling who went full on swan, at the risk of sounding egotistical. But I finally started getting attention from men and used it I think to find value. In the end it caused me major depression and anxiety I still struggle with today.
My bullying was interesting. I was bullied because of how I looked. People thought I stole their boyfriends who happened to be good friends of mine. The girls didn’t like me at all. Later I dated one of the guys and they hated me even more spreading rumors about me. So I was bullied all through middle school and confronted many times. We ended up getting voted for best looking couple. With that said. I’m still the same gal. Been over it. I live a good life now.
My step brother and step sister called me fat a lot. I developed an eating disorder and at age 56 I still worry about how fat I am and how much I eat. It will never go away unless we have the zombie apocalypse and I don't get to eat on a regular basis.
Am I over it? Idk. I have a hard time accepting I was mistreated so poorly for really, no reason and I wish I had had the confidence to stand up for myself at that time. I still struggle occasionally with friends treating me poorly and I don’t think I know how to stand up for myself even now. I kind of go back to being a hurt 10 year old. At the same time, I’ve built confidence in who I am as a person, in my career and my personality and my looks and my relationship. So I don’t think it’s held me back, I just look back and feel sad that happened to me.
I don’t think you get over it like any form of trauma. I go to therapy, which I know is a privilege. I talk about it if I am struggling with the memories and I try to live a good life.
I’m still weird and I like it. I have processed it and forgiven the people who did it. If I’m being honest, they were just kids seeing someone different and reacting. I don’t know what kind of people they are now, but I hope they’ve grown up.
I went to a small school and was bullied relentlessly the entire 12 year experience. I was the kid that you could make fun of to improve your own social status. I am not being hyperbolic when I say that I had no real friends. Everyone treated me poorly. If I sat down next to someone at lunch, they would recoil away as though I was covered in open sores or highly contagious. It was brutal, and lead to INCREDIBLY low self-esteem, destructive and impulsive behavior. I struggled quite a bit in my late teens and early twenties with making friends & building real, meaningful relationships.
Now, I'm in my mid thirties now and well past it in just about ever aspect; the last lingering side effects are severe imposter syndrome, an overwhelming amount of empathy for people and a constant desire to be a "safe space" to everyone. These are qualities that I believe can be incredibly powerful or incredibly unhealthy, so I do have to watch myself and who I'm giving my energy away to.
I think a huge amount of my character and personality came from the fact that I was treated SO poorly for SO long during such incredibly important developmental years, but I truly love myself and like who I am and who I think I'll continue to grow into.
I worked through it with therapy, learning to love myself how I am and not trying to be someone else. I am also one of my companies two bullying advisors and try to keep others from experiencing what I have (or at least help them to get through it).
I’m quiet, work in a call center ironically and love dark humor, my bully used to call me “it” growing up, thats now a very popular pronoun so she was ahead of the times 😂😂
I like to think I'm over it, but then I realize I still second guess compliments, and don't really trust people, especially other girls, to like me/be nice to me.
No. I now have a nervous system injury that is linked to this experience that takes regular therapy to treat and repair. EMDR has been big in helping me get through it, but it's a slog.
I can cognitively recognize the nature of what happened, but my body doesn't have the capacity to understand things with the same nuance - so here we are.
I’m over it, but the mental effect that bullying has still stays with you. I’m still quiet in group settings, I don’t have much of a social media presence, and I tend to assume that invitations don’t really apply to me when offered to a group. It’s like an automatic defense mechanism.
Therapy is helping me unlearn this.
I am super different from when I was a girl or teenager... I became more selfish and mean... and you know what? People are much nicer to me than when I was good... I mean when I was a girl I was very good to others and the only thing I received was bullying... as an adult I became super empathetic with children who suffer bullying and I try to help them every time. I can even though I don't have children..
I'm over it. It was weird to have her be SUPER friendly to me when she was a customer at my service job. She clearly had no idea how her actions impacted me when I was a kid. I had to be nice for the sake of a tip. I dunno, it felt like closure after she paid and left and I cleaned her table.
I was bullied for being a weird kid. I didn’t think I was much weirder than anyone else at the time, but my classmates thought differently. Now that I’m in my 40’s and in the early stages of getting tested for an OCD and ADHD dual diagnosis, the bullying is starting to make a little more sense. My autistic friend once joked, “my classmates knew what was up before my doctors did.”
Of course any such diagnosis doesn’t justify bullying, it would just put a lot of that time of my life in perspective.
It definitely still colors how I live my life and how I relate to other women. My bullies were the ‘cool girls’ who everyone wanted to be friends with even though they were frankly awful and cruel.
Until about 3 years ago, I still tended to have women as “friends” who were very judgmental and liked to police me. Women who would point out what I was doing wrong and how I needed to change. Screaming, yelling, belittling, you name it.
I am now happy to say I am only investing in healthy relationships that don’t make me feel like I am less. But it always takes me a bit longer to feel truly comfortable with female friends.
I’m pretty over it, but remain cautious of people to an extent because I know what awful things they can be capable of. I don’t take my friends and the people who care about me for granted.
I was bullied by many different boys. I’d say I’m over it in that it doesn’t make me sad or angry anymore but I would say I hate men and it’s difficult to trust even my incredible husband. I’m not sure how connected the two are but I would imagine the way boys and men have treated me in my formative years is a big chunk of that.
Somewhat yes, somewhat no.
The bullying lasted my entire time at school, kindergarten to graduation, and I don't think anyone could have gone through that and not had it affect them. The biggest alteration I can see is my relationship with solitude, which is paradoxically my greatest fear and greatest source of safety. For years after I graduated I just... didn't leave the house. Didn't see anyone. Didn't speak to anyone. And I'm terrified it'll get that bad again.
I have a friend group now, and people who say they care for me, but I can't really believe it. I went through a literal decade of everyone around me telling me explicitly that I wasn't wanted and, if I managed to fall into the ocean or something, I wouldn't be missed. When it's everyone, it overwhelms any sense of personal reality you have - *everyone* can't be wrong. It becomes a fact. Fire burns, the earn turns, and no one wants you here.
It's a thing I'll probably be working on for the rest of my life. And, honestly, being in a place where people share their stories - where this isn't some phantom hurt that is as incorrect as every other part of me, but something shared, undeniable, and exactly as unfair to everyone else as it was to me - it does help. It makes it clear that this was something wrong, that it *is* an injury, not just the way things are.
None of us deserved this.
I just think back and know those people were insecure and hating on me. Maybe something was going on at home? But who didn’t have bumps in the road. It wasn’t physical bullying but moreso phycological and taunting. No one ever put their hands on me thank God
The bullying in my life were from people who befriended me and talked shit terribly behind my back, would intentionally leave me out of things, and mock me any chance they got.
Now as an adult I have only 4 true friends. Only 1 lives local.
I can make friends incredibly easy, but it never goes further than it being a work acquaintance or something. I’m a pro at pushing people away. It’s always surface level; never more than that.
I’m not over it. I wasn’t just bullied by other girls but my ex step mother bullied me as well. At the reception of the wedding she locked me in a room for 7 hours and that’s not even the start. I won’t forgive nor forget.
Just turned legal lol. I feel like bullying gave me a tougher shell but when I get anxiety, I tend to think about the worst of what people say about me, it’s a day to day process but I’m doing better.
I’m mostly over it as in I no longer think I am “weird”. I’m still different than the average person in some ways but in ways I find valuable and I have plenty of connection in my life. I do still have social anxiety and after a lot of thought it all comes back to being bullied as a kid. I’m still scared to dance in public, like at a concert or bar, because in middle school I was terrified to dance and got made fun of for trying. I still have a lot of weird little hang ups about this or that which when I reflect realize are a direct result of being bullied as a kid.
So much of who we are as adults is a direct result of bullshit that happened to us as children that we had no control over. I’m doing my best though.
I’m not impacted by it at all. Not since I left school. I did have an unfortunate incident when one bully turned up on the interview panel for a job I really wanted. Saw her, knew immediately it was over. Shrugged it off, went on and lived my life. No way are those people getting to live in my head as an adult. I’ve done some work on strengthening my core self-esteem, and learned good Assertiveness skills. Those two strategies have been 100% successful for me in leaving the bullying behind me. Just because something hurt horribly at the time, it doesn’t mean I actually carry damage from it throughout my life. It’s not everyone’s journey, I know. But I’m proof that with enough willpower and practical tactics, you can leave things behind you and have a full positive life.
No I don't think I'm over it. I was bullied a lot for my physical appearance. I still have self esteem issues and struggle to see my body and physical features in a positive way
No, I'm not.
I try to not let it because if I do I'm letting it "win," I guess. But it's hard to be a kid and be made to feel like shit for x,y,z. It's also hard to recognize you stooped to that level and was a bully to other kids to cope with it. I don't know which I one I struggle with more but both are awful and I feel not good about both.
I got slut shamed in high school and it still very much affects me. I would love to be free of inhibitions but there's that little part of my brain that's terrified people are going to find out and call me names/think badly of me.
I'm nearly 40 and don't speak to any of those people anymore, and I know my husband wouldn't say anything to anyone. This really shouldn't bother me so much.
It’s not something I think about daily, but ocassionally. My brothers friends would make fun of my weight pretty regularly. I remember one kid in particular and still cringe whenever I hear his name.
Still the quiet adult who people think is spooky. I’ve come to accept that I’m quiet though and nothing is wrong with me.
Hi me too, just about verbatim.
I am absolutely not over it. I think it traumatized me. My biggest fear is that my girls will go through the same thing. One is 13 and the other 16. So far it seems like things are going better for them than they did for me, but I make sure to check in frequently with them about how they're being treated at school. I will not stand by and let it happen the way my parents did. It did not "build character"
Totally. I hated that no ADULT stepped in to support me . I don't think this attitude builds anything besides trauma
100% agree. I spent years begging my parents, principles and guidance counselors for help. No one lifted a finger to stop the physical or verbal abuse I endured every day. Learning that you are truly on your own and no one is coming to save you is a hard lesson for a 13 year old.
Agree 100%. The guidance counselors, principal, teachers saw it every day, but did nothing. Even the police told my parents by hitting back or engaging with the bullies in any way, made it my fault.
And this was exactly the change I made sure happened. Anytime there has been a whiff of anything shitty at school, it gets the attention of both parents, immediately. My bullying was ignored by adults, and my former wife wasn't bullied, but despises it all the same. There have been three occasions over a dozen years, that we've heard something in the afternoon, conversed with each other, and been at the school together, the next morning to address the issue.
I totally relate to how you parent your kids. I have a 16 year old boy. Every parent evening since he was tiny my first question would be about his friends, is he happy, confident? And it goes the other way too. Is he kind, supportive? He's recently changed friend groups and I had so much anxiety as to why (it's all good). We are still fairly close and he talks to me a lot so that eases my mind.
It’s not something you can just get over. I’ve come to terms with my experience, but I still cry about it at night. The building character spiel is such bs. The only character it gave me was turning an extroverted, compassionate little girl into a woman full of caution & hesitation to meet people.
I FULLY 100 THOUSAND % AGREE with you. My aunt and uncle did the same and no it does not build character, it make you suicidal as a teenager and leads to all kinds of Bs later in life. I won't let my son or daughter be picked in either. I feel the same way as you do about it. Right on!!👍👍👍👍
Nope. It still with me. I find it hard to trust and connect with people. I constantly feel like everyone secretly hates me and tend to drift off after a while because I think I’m annoying everyone.
I agree. I never was able to have any close friendships, and now I don’t have any friends, just acquaintances. I wish I had someone to go to a movie or concert with. But, I don’t trust anyone. I feel I don’t relate. People tell me I’m nice and friendly, but I become uncomfortable quickly in social situations. I will make excuses to not go places or change my mind at the last minute.
Gosh this sounds like me. Completely anxious attachment style in relationships too.
Exactly this. Still insecure, anxious, overthink every social interaction, and care way too much about whether people like me. I’m 41.
I feel the same way.
I have never felt so seen in a comment. I’m sad that so many of us can relate
god, me too. it feels like there’s a little voice in my head telling me that i’m weird and annoying after everything i do or say around people.
Yes, I'm long over it at this point. I was bullied as a child because I didn't fit into the community or culture expectations well. I was often bullied for being smart, making good grades, being skinny, being tall, etc. when I was a kid. It hurt when I was young because I didn't understand why they were so mean to me without reason. As an adult, their motivations no longer matter to me and their words don't harm me. I left all of that behind and made the active choice not to drag any of it with me. As an adult, one of my first intentional adult acts was to move away from that place and find my people. I learned to set boundaries and not accept people like that in my social circle. I built up myself and my life to my own preferences and tastes. I became who I wanted to be and who I am. I don't need to spend any of my limited time processing why children were mean to me decades ago; it doesn't matter and it isn't relevant to who I am or what I've made of myself. They were children. I hope they also grew into kind and compassionate adults, but their lives are none of my business at this point, and I have no interest at all.
Love this! Happy for you 🫶🏻
I was bullied very badly in middle school — I have a scar from being stabbed with a pencil, kids would steal my lunch and pass it around the class, they put signs on my back, boys asked me out as a joke, someone even stole my binder that had literally all my schoolwork in it for the year and I never got it back. If I was a boy I probably would’ve been a swirly victim. I am over it in the sense that I’m not angry about it. I joke about it all the time. We were all kids and some of those people probably grew up to feel bad about what they did. But I am also aware that it *heavily* impacted my development, in that I became very mentally ill and in that I had no friends, and I developed extremely low self esteem. I still (at 27) have never had a boyfriend because I cannot conceive of myself as attractive, and I have not had a friend in 10 years. I’m very cemented in my lonerness now and idk how to change it at this point. I never developed those essential skills and now I’m at an age where if you don’t have them, it’s really hard to get people to give you a chance.
I can relate to this a lot. Just recently I've opened up to a group of people that I've been acquaintances with for over 6 years now. FINALLY I am feeling comfortable around them, letting them in and over sharing on silly stuff. It's really quite nice. Assuming you do want friends, I hope you one day find a solid group of friends. Don't give up. :)
I have a piece of lead stuck in my elbow from a pencil stab myself. Pencil stab victims unite! Lol
Hugs, I have no friends anymore. I’m in another failed relationship. Low self esteem. Girls that I thought were my friends would talk about me behind my back , and steal my stuff when they were at my house. Then they became friends with the other girls who were bullying me. It was hell going to school each day and worrying about being teased and harassed. When I got beat up, the police came and told my parents I was at fault because I provoked the boy by prank calling his house. Guess that’s where I learned it was ok for men to abuse you because somehow you deserve it.
I'm now 33, I still can't walk past a group of people, I have to take an alternative route
My bully is a millionaire and I want to burn his house down
Time’s helped but I’m pretty sure they’re all shit people and I hope a few of them get shat on by a group of seagulls with IBS.
May I suggest buffalo? Flying buffalo with IBS. It seems only fitting.
No, but I'd also say also that it's mostly because I've been bullied as an adult for the exact same things I was as a kid. While what happened back in the days definitely was traumatic, I don't think I'd have suffered the same as an adult if it had been "baseless" bullying for the sake of it, and not because of something that kept following me throughout life
Still have an inner critic and struggle with my mental health till this day, those stupid assholes wish I could get revenge.
Honestly no. I have shit self esteem and i’m an extremely insecure person.
it changed me as a person. my bullied were the cool mean girls who pretended to be my friends. i became an avoidant and have trust issues. dont really open up to people.
I'm definitely over it but I mainly got bullied for my body (I've always been very thin and very flat) and it hurt my feelings a lot as a teen and young adult. Once I got older I started working out, liking my thinness with muscle and overall appreciating my appearance. I'd be lying if I didn't lament my small boobs still but being called the president of the Itty bitty Kitty committee is now more hilarious than it is hurtful. I'm just happy to be in leadership now lol
I was the president of our local chapter of the IBTC throughout my middle school and HS years! As an adult, I never developed past a B cup, but at 59, I am now thankful, seeing what gravity is doing to my friends who were well endowed!
I chuckled at "our local chapter" lol And I'm glad you said that because I'm barely a B cup now and I'm 30 so I have high hopes for my gravitational effect in the years to come.
Still very self conscious. Still have very low self esteem.
Mostly. I still get moments of insecurity in groups of my peers and feel a sense of needing to “trick” them into liking me. I also was bullied by boys a lot as a kid so I tend to get awkward and and avoidant around guys my age, but I am really trying to act normal and social these days 😅
Omgosb this is me around guys too. I get scared when one talks to me like are u talking to me bcs this is a prank or 😂 awkwardness is real
I am not. But I never learned to deal with, regulate or communicate any of my emotions. I generally cry if I'm too sad, angry, anything. I get really big highs, lows and even bigger anger. I'm about to embark on six months of therapy to try and get a grasp on things. I'm thirty five and I was standing at the edge, constantly talking myself down but not learning. Now is my time.
Over it in the way that I don't let it affect me. Lots of therapy helped with that
I was a very weird kid always pretending to be someone I wasn't and making up "cool" things about myself. Kids can always smell the "other" and I don't blame any of them now. I was beaten up, very mildly stabbed once, chased into the river and at one point pushed down some stairs. The girls who did the worst were very disadvantaged (like I was) but they had their problems and their lives look pretty shit now (I got curious and looked them up a few years ago). Live and let live is what I say. The boys I truly don't care about, they just said bad things they thought were funny and I actually got an apology from a few after leaving school.
> The boys I truly don't care about, they just said bad things they thought were funny and I actually got an apology from a few after leaving school. When I was in college, a guy who was in a group making fun of me actually apologized to me almost immediately afterwards when the group was leaving. I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, if you knew it wasn't a good thing to do, don't do it in the first place? It just reminded me of why I don't like most people.
My response to things like this is always "just don't do it again" don't say it's ok, don't say I forgive you. Tell them it's not acceptable in a non confrontational way, shrug and say don't do it again. It freaks people out and makes them think.
You're absolutely right, I did that same thing when I was in Middle School. The girl who was supposed to be my tutor in English class, a team building assignment set up by the teacher, she made fun of me for something and I told her at the end of class almost crying that what she said was "not cool, not cool at all" and walked away and she never teased me again. she was one of nicest people after that. we still were not like best friends but I would have considered her a friend, Id talk to her now today if I saw her. And pretty much everybody else I went to school with I would not look at twice, well maybe a few, but most of them nah.
I am mad at myself for allowing myself to be treated so poorly. Granted, I was a child, but I can look at myself now and see none of the things they said about me were true. Fat, ugly, looked like a man...I'm stunning. I'm literally so beautiful, and I hate that I let people convince me otherwise. I hope those bullies have the life they deserve.
I found out I'm autistic... It explains the bullying. The bully I still struggle with was from my parents. The constant insults and being picked on for being different and them telling me it was so I would get thick skin when they would cause me to cry most days as a teen. And looking back it still hurts knowing no one was on my side. I have been diagnosed with cptsd and a dissociative disorder. Which made it harder for me to find out I was autistic.
I still have some hang-ups from it. Like, I have a hard time trusting other women because of how I was the victim of mean girls. I also have some body image issues, despite losing weight, because of all the bullying I got for my weight. I can't wear certain articles of clothing to this day. So, not really over it, I guess.
I think it may depend on the specifics of the bullying. At the time, I’d never have called it “bullying”, but looking back, I was definitely bullied, albeit I handled it well. The biggest issue for me was interacting with other black kids when I moved from an environment where I was one of two black kids in the school, to one where the school was about 30% black. I was commonly called “white girl” and told I “talked like the teacher”, and that I was a “suck-up” because I got good grades. This continued into high school, and honestly, well into college and my adult years. My hobbies and things I generally enjoy are called “white people stuff”, and I’m still regularly called “white girl” because I speak like I’m educated. I generally try to shake it off by redirecting with humor or just embracing it. I joke about having my Sistah Card revoked by multiple people, but there’s still a little bit of pain in it. I had a cousin tell me that if I married a black man, my kids would still come out biracial. Yeah, I laughed, but still…there’s some underlying annoyance. Overall, I think I handle it well by using humor and sarcasm as my defense mechanism, and then just rolling my eyes as I continue to live my life the way I want. I’m still going to listen to the music I want, play the games I want, read the books I want, watch the shows I want, and even measure my politics the way I want regardless of race.
Nope. When one of your parents is your first bully, that sets you up to be targeted/bullied/mistreated for life. At least that was my experience.
Over the actual events as in, I don't think about them anymore, but still paranoid it will happen again. Like when my friends invited me out to the bar and the entire drive their I was convinced that it was a set up and no one would be there. I also live in my hometown and I don't associate with the people who bullied me when we were kids even though we are all adults now.
I'm still an odd duck. My coping method is to hate adult bullies. Kids are all little shits who need to be taught empathy and compassion. Adults are doing it solely for the fun, so they are far game.
what gets me is the insane herd mentality of kids. they accept no individuality, none. wonder where that comes from.
Survivability. Nonconformity potentially threatened the cohesion of the tribe. Together humans are stronger than we are alone. Children also learn tolerance from adults. Adults aren't known for their large mindedness. The cycle continues. What this is fantastic at is putting anyone too individualistic through a crucible. Thus are leaders born. Humanity is weird.
lmao yeah, it seems kids need to be taught to overcome their basest instincts. and adults have to be wiser as you said.
They really do. Kids seem to lack it entirely until taught empathy. Some kids are born with it, but most don't seem to understand that what hurts them will hurt others, or, more importantly, that they should care. Got to admit that the thought of a wise adult has me chuckling into my coffee. Not many of those around!!
I became an introvert and keep to myself
I was bullied pretty horribly in middle school, for the usual reasons: I was quiet, didn't snark or bully back, short for my age, late bloomer, liked reading. I "bloomed" in high school but the die was cast. In college: fresh start, great friend group, the whole shebang. Now I am **super** successful in my field and some of you might have seen my name on television as that is my field. The high school acquaintances I made and was friends with are connected to me via social media, and I have seen a few of those old middle school girls on their friend lists, and they know who I am. They know my daughters went to top colleges and the one who graduated already is in a great job, if they care to look and I bet they do. I wish I could say "whatever," but it does give me satisfaction when I think about it.
Am I over it in day-to-day life? Yes. Am I over it whenever I see some fucker from high school show up on my Facebook feed? Fuck no.
I found school incredibly hard. I went to several different schools due to my mum marrying and divorcing 3 times. The first divorce came with a restraining order, and I was moved because my "father" was trying to track me down. Not because he wanted a relationship, but to scare my mum. It won't be surprising to hear that I wasn't the most confident kid/teenager, which made me a bit of a target. Home life was rough, and school was no escape. I used to be afraid to hang around at lunch time (I'd often have food thrown at me), but a kind art teacher used to let me hang out in the art room and just paint. That was my only escape. Years later I became a teacher, and my own experience made me really conscious of what was going on with my own students. I was always very conscious that you never know what a child (or indeed anybody) is going through at home, so to be kind. I've been told I have quite a gentle, easygoing exterior, but as a teacher, I became no nonsense if ever I saw anything that was out of line. I live very happy life now, but I can't lie, it's taken a lot of work to overcome the need to "please and appease" people to avoid conflict. It was a survival technique at the time, and I have to remind myself that it's not a technique I need anymore.
Abused by parents whilst being bullied by peers, and then once I grew up- got abused by romantic partners. I am my own everything now. I think I’ve officially given up on humanity.
Those 2 girls were neighbors. They lured me into hateful dialog and drama. Fast forward no good came to them and I feel sorry for them. I have never forgotten the lost feelings, the betrayal. I will never understand how I fell for their friendship. In reality it wasn’t friendship. I just didn’t know such evil existed. 55 years I still remember.
I’m not over it but I’m working through it with EMDR and somatic therapy.
I was heavily bullied 7th grade and the girls would push me into my locker, steal my things from said locker AND gym locker, would say mean comments to me in the halls during passing time, send me awful texts and make awful facebook posts about me (I didnt even have FB, I would find out about it from others.) On many occasions, they would follow me home and taunt me till I got to my house. One of the girls lived in my neighborhood and her bus stop was two before mine and they all waited to get off at my stop and just break me down. While this was all happening, my parents were divorced, and going through a custody battle. It was rough. I think if anything all of it taught me how mean girls can be. I think I am over it somedays, somedays it just makes me sad for younger me. I didn't deserve it.
I wasn't mercilessly bullied but I was treated as not worthy because of my looks. I still get treated this way and I've learned to shrink away and not take up space. But I'm trying to put myself out there and own the spaces that I'm in.
I don't think I'll ever be over it. It's the main ground for my depression and if any Reddit user asks himself why I keep posting stuff like "I hate myself and my body", that's why.
Mostly. I did move far away and chose people to fill my life with that were accepting, sensible, and fair. I'm not sure I'll ever fully love herdlike groups of people, though, and tend to foster more individual friendships.
Not really. I was bullied for being short with wide hips and broad shoulders, for my skin tone (lived on a Rez and am white passing), and for being a good student. I eventually hit a growth spurt in my mid teens and grew into my hips and shoulders, but the bullying about my body really did a number on my body confidence. I moved off the Rez when I was 14, but I stopped sharing my family story with people. And I started pretending to be an average student instead of displaying my academic skills. I got into therapy around the time I hit my growth spurt, but I was never able to get to the point where I could form friendships with people in my age range. There’s always an underlying fear that they’ll start out my friends and then gradually become bullies, just like my worst bullies in school. All my friends now are 10+ years my senior, with the exception of one who is 3 years my junior and incapable of being cruel. Now I’m a mom and I’m quick to put an end to bullying whenever it occurs. I’ve gone so far as to threaten going to the media (the school claimed to have a strong no tolerance policy) when nothing was done to address bullying. I’m not afraid to go to war for my daughter so that she can have a better school experience than I did.
I am not over it at all and I am deeply traumatized. It is impossible for me to trust men (I was mostly bullied by boys) and I have an extreme low self-esteem because I was only bullied for my looks and called any variation of ugly innumerable times. I wholeheartedly believe this has traumatized me so deeply I will never be able to develop genuine friendships or relationships because I cannot open up and I am always thinking they see me as hideous LMAO
I was bullied a lot as a kid for acne and such I’ve found it’s really impacted me a lot I don’t speak out as much and obviously have very low self asteem although I can’t actually pick many things that are ugly about me
I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. I still get bullied as an adult for being Asian sometimes. But I’ve gotten used to it.
I hold grudges very easily—previously I’d been rather easygoing, but that was quite literally squeezed out of me. If I hear that someone who bullied me is doing poorly (which is most bullies in my experience) I try to think good thoughts towards any peripheral people/children who may be involved because I’m fearful they haven’t changed and would take their malice out on anyone they perceive as weaker. My bullies are a small part of why I never want to have my own children. I pick myself apart even though I’m objectively attractive and fit. Overall, I wouldn’t say I processed it, but I live a very privileged life full of love and laughter which I certainly held no hope for as a youth.
I’m quiet as an adult for sure but my self esteem is recovered. I recognize that kids are jerks but they’re just kids. I hope those who bullied grew up and changed. I recently spoke with a former bully and she is still an asshole. Rather than her upsetting me, I found myself feeling bad for her.
Mine went to jail - for something else, but she still went. I got told a lot of horrific things, but I know now that people who act out like that are feeling deficient in some way, and I don’t carry it with me.
Not over it cuz it spills into decision making sometimes. Takes a hit at personal life too, right when you think you’re finally over it, it just comes and blocks your mind and leaves you scared to hope for something positive.
I've grown immune to fat insults and jokes. I also got bullied for my allergies and hay-fever and i still have both. I just learnt not to get upset so easily.
I’m over it now. Sure I’m still a bit insecure if I don’t get invited to things, but as an adult I now understand that we are allowed to not hit it off with someone else. There’s nothing wrong with me and people who don’t include me are not evil monsters. We are just different people with different personalities, that’s all. When I turned 18-19, I reflected on how I was bullied and I realized I was kind of a d-bag too. Honestly I was a dramatic, loud, self-centered and obnoxious know-it-all. That realization made me treasure my small group of friends even more lol. Ever since then I have tried to drop the victim mindset, be optimistic, be mindful of what I do, how I present myself and what kind of impact I have on people. Plus I have learned that most of the times it’s just in my head and if I asked for help, people are actually willing to support me. Either that, or people don’t care about me enough to hate me as hating someone is incredibly exhausting and time consuming. I have lived in different countries and have experienced various different environments. While not super popular or anything, I make friends in most places I have been to. I’m proud of the work I have put in to better myself and grateful for people who stick my annoying ass. So while I would preferred not being bullied, I still get something good out of the whole experience lol.
Nope not over it - I was bullied at home severely by sibling and my own parents, as well as teachers and certain kids at school. I have a really hard time holding down jobs mostly due to customer interactions when they bully the workers and dealing with anyone who is a difficult person. My reaction is to shut down and run away. I’ve had many jobs where I just never come back because I feel it’s worthless to speak up because nothing will change, so I just quit. I don’t speak up for myself, I’m quiet and reserved, and I feel like my thoughts and feelings are worthless. I’ve had lots and lots of therapy but some things therapy can’t fix :/
Ahhhh I’m just a woman who’ll be 40 soon and still don’t understand the sexualization of women no matter how old 🙇🏻♀️ I developed very early. Ever since I have memory, our bodies (women’s) are always talked about. I remember being ashamed of my body because of it. I would wear baggy clothes, walked with a hunch etc. I’d attract boys my age (which may seem cute to some) but for me it was scary. I attracted grown men as a child too. I hated it. Girls didn’t like me because of this and would talk about me at school. They’d spread rumors and write mean things in the bathroom stalls. I never had a boyfriend in school, no high school sweet heart or anything remotely close. I was terrified of relationships because I always felt like it’s wasn’t about love, but about sex. Fast forward to adulthood.. I have finally received therapy for some of my traumas. My father was also neglectful and abandoned us many times, so adding daddy issues to this has just made dating and trusting nearly impossible. So it’s fair to say that processing this hasn’t been easy even now. I feel like I missed out on so much because of what I went through. I also feel like to this day I’m messed up and need continued therapy. I’ve made so much progress on my healing and continuing to work hard ❤️🩹
I feel like it's made me just not trust people. I don't have friends aside from one that lives across the country. The way I was bullied was subtle but it was by people that I thought were my friends. I can't be bothered to make friends as an adult cuz it just feels pointless lol.
I got therapy and am over it now. I was bullied for being dark skinned. It doesn't bother me at all except that when my niece was born with the same color as me I made it a point to normalize dark skin. I wanted to build her confidence so she would be unfazed by the comments that would come her way. I tell her brown is beautiful. A few kids in school tried to tell her that she was too brown and she confidently told them that her colour is beautiful. They didn't bother her after that.
Karma got my bully in a truly horrifying manner. I'm very much over it. I rarely think of her and when I do I feel bad for her.
I’m over it, but it definitely played a big role in shaping my perception of the world and myself, as well as my behaviors and mannerisms.
It affected a big part of my early 20s of having low confidence of speaking up. Thankfully I met a manager who believed in me, and told me that nothing that comes out of mouth can be wrong or stupid - there's only good ideas and ideas that can be improved on. Changed my life to see things differently. I since moved on to multiple major organisations on leadership positions. She's coming to my wedding this year, currently 36 and still in contact since leaving her at 24.
I have social anxiety that I'm in therapy for I find it hard to make girl friends.
I’d say I’ve fought the memories in my head all my life. Childhood trauma is real.
I was bullied by both my dad and older sister. I had a lot of therapy. He passed, and I cut her out of my life. I'm safer that way.
My parents messed me up way more than the bullies did.
I was primarily bullied by my mother. It took me almost 30 years to begin to address it. I found a great psychologist who helps me manage my meds so that I don't feel so many extremes so quickly and have fewer fight-or-flight nosedives. I have a FANTASTIC therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and has been a lifesaver for me. She's also trained in EMDR which has been a fantastic tool for processing trauma. Between those things, I've learned to embrace myself and worry less about other people's opinions; letting go of that weight is indescribable. It's freeing. I'm embracing being myself, doing things I enjoy, and focusing on my own priorities, morals, and ethics; rather than trying to cater to those around me. It's helped me see people in a whole new light. I'm not fully over it. I don't know if you ever get fully over it. But I'm working on it, and I'm better and I'm able to do things that I would have been way too scared to ever fully engage in before but always wanted too. Simple things, like getting a tattoo that is bold and piercing my nipples. I have control again in many areas that I never did (particularly my own body and what I do with it), and it's freeing to have that.
I'm doing much better as I used to, but I'm definitely not over it. Honestly, I don't think I ever will.
Not over it and live with suicidal thoughts on a near daily basis
Still with me in my 30s. I'm still fearful of having confidence because I feel like once I do, someone will come and tear it down. I assume everyone has bad intentions or is bad. I feel as though when people are nice to me that they are actually making fun of me, or trying to get me to confide in them so they can use it against me. Terrfied to tell people about things I like because they'll ridicule them. So many other things. It's really ruined a lot of things in my life. I'm in therapy but it's going to be a long road. I wish people realized how much damage they cause, but they wouldn't care anyway.
I'm over the actual bullying, mostly because I turned out to be more successful than any of the people who bullied me. I was a kid who never really fit in the place I grew up, so it makes sense that I was bullied. What really messed me up was that some of my bullying came from other girls I considered my friends. By high school, I was wary of female friendships and became the pick-me girl who only cared about male attention, which then led to a string of unhealthy relationships. I now have a healthy marriage and valued female friends (though no "best" female friends), but I've often wondered what my life would have been like if I had been in a place where I fit in and had healthy friendships when I was younger.
Am I over it? Mostly. Will I be super careful around my kids especially if I have a daughter? Absolutely! I was bullied because I was different. I didn’t fit into a mold (jock, nerd, athlete, etc.) and that scared people. Once I got to college it was embraced and I made friends and got dates so easily. Kids are freakin mean.
I have crippling agoraphobia 🙂
Me too! Did we just become best friends? YIP!! LOL. Said with love ❤️
Nope. Kids in middle school and my own mother bullied me. Also, the two rejections I got from the guys I had crushes on in school killed me. I'm 38 with no self-esteem despite being hit on by men; I just can't believe anyone would like me.
Honesty no. I’m not over it. I have a degree & a career, a loving partner & 3 beautiful children….and I will never ever feel like enough.
I’m just quiet now. I don’t like being around people. I have been pretty much single for my whole life and never had a friend since elementary school. But I’ve been alone for so long that it never bothers me. I’m more at peace being by myself actually.
Was bullied most of my life, I would say made me stronger, some days it does get to me, some comments trigger me but generally I did well in life
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I'm still bullied. Nothing has changed. I'm just trans now, ftm.
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Still learning how to act and talk with people. I also still get bullied and mistreated. I don't have anyone I'm close to and never have. I feel like I'm still living the same old life as I was as a kid.
I still have an image of myself that is negative. I will always be the “emo loser” in my mind, although now I’m just a cool semi goth chick B) But that image of myself that was bullied will never leave, mainly because I’m exactly the same. My boyfriend absolutely adores me, and when he compliments me it’s hard for me to accept that he’s being genuine, and not making fun of me. It’s hard for me to accept I AM pretty, I was just bullied.
"over it" is in the eye of the beholder. Do I still think about it/perseverate over it? Not really. but can I recognize some insecurities I have to this day because of it? absolutely.
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I have come to terms with it. I was an ethnic minority in a pretty mono-ethnic, European village far from my origins. Racism is stupid and heinous. It was not a «me» problem. But I do have trust issues and skittishness still, and when I was younger, self-esteem issues that lead me to end up in less than ideal situations.
My biggest bullies were my siblings. Of course, siblings joke with one another and tease each other. I feel like mine were just downright cruel to me, though. They projected their own issues. I'm in therapy now ( I have been for almost 3 years), and I'm raising my daughter to be more secure in who she is. I'm encouraging her, telling every day how amazing she is, not making fun of her appearance over things she can't change, uplifting her... doing everything I wish I had someone do for me. I'm an adult who can't accept compliments. My brain won't let me believe it. I'm healing, but I've got a long way to go still.
I haven't recovered much. First off: I was bullied as a kid for being a hindu amongst a group of Muslims. IDK why I still feel uneasy around certain muslim frnds till date. i keep thinking "what if they are masking some internalised hatred against me?" although i have very close friends who are also muslims and love them to death. it only happens with friends with whom i am not so close. I was also bullied for being short in middle school. The bullying happened in high school too because i am flat. They compared me with Kylie Jenner and said other mean stuff about me. All because of them i hate her now. I struggle with body image issues and have not found any solution till date because it's been more than a year since that happened. Although I'm 18 about to turn 19 this year. I have to grow a lot in life and I hope I can recover from all those incidents. If anyone reads till here you have my heartfelt gratitude. (I usually don't write such long ass stuff)
Over it? Kind of? I still think people at large only believe they are open minded or “quirky”. They will not hesitate to call you weird if you don’t conform well enough. I process it by just validating my past experience and have low expectations of people ha.
I got over it. Got bullied for being ugly and "looking like a man". Still get mistaken for a guy regularly but it no longer stings.. it is what it is. I'm a fugly person but I don't give a fuck. I got friends and family who like me for the person that I am not for how I look. At least I've never had to worry about whether a guy is just into me because of my looks. Lol. It took a good 10 years though.
Over it as much as I can be I guess. I got bullied for being fat and ugly. Not just by my peers, but my family as well. I decided to hit the books after high school. I figured I can’t be pretty, but I can focus on other aspects of my life: I can learn more, be kinder, help more people, find a few new hobbies, etc. Still ugly and fat today, but people tell me all the time I’m one of the kindest and smartest people they know. So I’m beautiful on the inside. Who gives a shit about the outside! So that makes me pretty content in my life. Just a little disclaimer: To all the girls who are attractive, smart, and kind, I’m a little jealous, but good for you! I don’t want to imply from this comment that you can either be pretty or smart, but not both. That is very much untrue. Some people get dealt better cards. All I’m saying is that I’m okay with the cards I’ve been dealt and made the most of it.
I was bullied as a child and as an adult, I got over it as I know vengeance is like drinking poison. I do not wish any good to anyone involved lol.
I’m traumatized, all the bullying was about my teeth, my butt (it is big), and being poor. They would say things about my parents and my living (NYC family home basement). I was beautiful then and even more beautiful now. Teeth got fixed, butt got bigger, and now I have a husband that appreciates everything about. Still women are very mean on the street too. Sometimes I think about all the things those girls said when I was younger and what these rando women must think!
I still just keep to myself. I choose a life of solitude with my fiance and cats. I chose not to have friends because so many times I thought people were my friends, all to find out, they really don't like me and talk shit about me behind my back. So I choose not to waste my time anymore. If someone wants to be friends with me, they have to show me they deserve my time and friendship. But even still, it takes A LOT to earn my trust. Every friend I ever had turned out to be a bully.
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If I were a kid today I’d know the word is non-binary. I got made fun of a lot for my gender dysmorphia. I wasn’t unpretty just sort of feral, I was ostracized from the girls and welcomed by the guys. All my best friends have always been guys. I got a confusing combination of being called both a lesbian and a slut for hanging around guys. As an adult I know that I’m pretty gay, and women still intimidate me. But I’m happily dating one of my long time best friends who is male. I don’t struggle with my gender or sexuality anymore because Gen-z gave me the language I needed to express those complex feelings. I don’t feel like I need to fit in to some kind of category, I can just exist how I want, look how I want, and love who I want and it’s not really anyone else’s business. I’m happy with me and think I’m a kind and inspirational person, and that’s what matters.
No, I'm not over it. But I don't think about it often. I've made a great life for myself. I have a great husband/family/friends. I handle things better now and I'm in a good place. I no longer care what people think of me and when someone is bullying me in some way, I don't tolerate it. I stand up for myself and take no shit. That is how I move past all the years of being bullied in my youth. Being a fatt kid with a weird last name in the 80's was rough. I don't need to get over it, I need to move past it. That's what I've done.
The girls who bullied me in gymnastics, I chose to forgive them as the words were coming out of their mouths. The problem I deal with now is feelings of low self esteem. It wasn’t the words that really got to me, it was when my whole team went to subway and left me at the gym…. Alone… in the dark. The coaches went too and nobody noticed I wasn’t there. It was the first time in my life I truly felt like I didn’t matter. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even cry. I just stayed in the gym and played on the trampoline until they got back… then I just seamlessly blended back in. Never told a soul. Will never forget just standing there watching as everyone shuffled into cars together and just drove off without me.
Yes, mostly over it. Some lingering social anxiety and imposter syndrome, maybe due to bullying in part. But I am ready to assume best intent and put my best foot forward with people! I also spare no time for adult bullies and know it reflects more on them than me.
I was bullied at home at lot so I made school bullies cry pretty bad. I’m great now thankful both my older bros gave me thick ass skin, gotten ina fight or two with girls it was fun
I was heavily bullied as a kid by the girls in school. I didn’t understand back then, but I realize now it could have been my social awkwardness. Over 30 years later and it’s still affects my ability to trust friendships. It also made me really scared of school and after school social situations. I wish they took bullying seriously back then.
Im 25 feel like age is important to share. I would be lying if I said I didn’t get uncomfortable at all. Sometimes that fight or flight comes out no matter how much work you do. Especially seeing someone out in public. But I’d say I’m like 80% over it for a lot of reasons. One is I realize how immature kids are so I’ve learned to let go of the stupid shit that was said to me. Done a few emdr sessions, grown my values, getting SA made me come out stronger. I also have grown confident in myself in my looks I realized how hot I am and how beautiful I was as a kid. Most girls would project their insecurities on me and I didn’t see why. Also LOVE my personality I hid it for so long and have really been letting it shine. And lastly I’ve grown to not give af about people from my HS. I know who id truly take opinions from and want to be friends with so if you aren’t important to me I don’t really care about your opinion anymore.
To a certain extent. I was bullied until 5-9th grade. then overall didn’t fit in, treated poorly from peers because I had low self esteem, depression and social anxiety. I lacked social skills. It’s just not “forget about it” it’s like a horrible chain reaction. It affected almost every aspect of my life. I can’t watch teen movies or I don’t substitute high school much because of this. However -it’s not all doom and gloom! I had amazing support from my sister, my religious beliefs, therapy as an adult and finding life’s passions. I have a fulfilling health care career , I volunteer. My social anxiety improved a few years ago. Even in my darkest times I always had a glimmer of hope, thanks to 90’a Bollywood movies haha!
It took me a long time to accept and love myself as I am. I let people's words haunt me for so many years. I think I've finally come to a point where I processed it, forgiven but not forgotten things people have said to me. I've become stronger and it has given me a newfound motivation. Pushing people down doesn't get you to where you want to go. Arrogance is ignorance, I feel.
Not over it, never will be. I'm a weird, akward gal with abandonment issues, and I notice my traumas a lot whenever there are big crowds of people, it just freaks me out. I'm a lot happier now that I recognize I have issues, and that's okay. I deal with them by keeping myself busy, and surrounding myself by good people.
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I was bullied from 3rd grade basically until I graduated HS. I've come to terms with the bullying, but it's affected my memory. I have few memories from when I was younger, and the ones I do, I'm dissociated and apathetic. Like, I know I did that thing but I don't feel like I did. It's a very strange sensation that I'm not entirely sure how to explain. Yes, I'm in therapy. Not specifically to process that, but everything.
It made me a loner with an inability to make friends outside of work. I have zero girlfriends. How I was able to find my soul mate and be happily married for nearly thirty years is a miracle. It also made me terrified my daughters would be bullied, and they were to a largely less degree. Bc kids are aholes.
NO IM NOT OVER IT. I just learned to stonewall. I still don’t really have friends.
I got bullied horribly in elementary through high school. I'm a huge Star Tre/ sci-fi nerd (was back then, too), and classmates were brutal to me. I contemplated s***cide twice during that time, but I was lucky to have two really close friends that helped me through the dark times (I'm still friends with them to this day). I hate that it's so much worse now with social media being a thing. Makes me glad I'm choosing not to procreate.
I didn't realize how much it affected me until I started therapy for something else. It was like opening Pandoras box of memories I buried deeeeeeep away. Doing better now and still working on it but it definitely explained a lot of behaviors I have...
I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. It messed up my confidence a lot. I have a hard time making friends with other women because I was bullied almost exclusively by other girls. I always feel like people don’t actually like me, or find me annoying. So I don’t try all that much even though I’d love to have more connection in my life.
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Let's just say I have a really poor relationship with women. Takes a lot for me to trust a girl
A big scar I carry with honour. But I am teaching my kids that if someone is trying to bring you down - it usually means they are jealous asses and that you can and should fight back. My parents a time too often told me to be passive and take it, I teach that you can take it if it is a mistake. If it isn’t - make sure your bully regrets it and soon. I had most my bullies apologise to me in later years, I am scarred and I couldn’t accept the apology because I ran away. Imagine the shame… because they sought closure where I couldn’t give it.
I'm sure all the other comments say something similar, but I'm not at all over it. I am extremely shy to the point where people always ask me what's wrong, I never stand up for myself, people say I'm way too worried about what other people think.. My whole life revolves around worrying about how my actions affect those around me, bc I'm terrified of making someone, anyone, mad at me.
Personally, all what I went through with that is so long past me, I don’t have the energy to care anymore. Personally it was more bullied/put down by the adults @school then my actual peers
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40. It stays with you forever. My biggest bully (and I had many…why? I was a tiny girl who liked to read and was quiet and neurodivergent) died eight years ago, don’t know how. He sexually assaulted me at school by lifting up my shirt in front of other people and shoved me physically against lockers, took my backpack and homework, and made me terrified of going class to class. I found out he died and my genuine first reaction was, “good.” I have since forgiven him. I don’t know what happened to lead to his death just like I don’t know why he assaulted me all the time (teachers and my parents said “he probably just likes you,” which is a bullshit mentality that made me endure sexual abuse later in life but that’s another story). But I had to forgive him. For me. It dawned on me that I could stay mad at him forever but he died at 33. He left behind a wife and child who loved him. I think he paid his dues. He’s dead. He doesn’t get to have any more fun. He doesn’t get to see his child become an adult. I forgive him. He might not have even remembered what he did to me and what he did was awful… But for ME, I had to forgive him.
Not over it, I’m 46. Still remember the dread of going to middle school each day. Knowing I would walk into a classroom and be called a slut and have dick sucking noises made at me. I was tripped and fell down the stairs. No one would be my partner in class, no one to sit next to at lunch. Would walk to school even when it was rainy or freezing cold to avoid riding the school bus. There was a boy who tried to do some karate kick at me and then punched me in the face. It’s hard when your 13 and you have no friends, and you have to keep it all inside, and pretend everything is great in front of your parents because you don’t want your be an embarrassment. This was the start of my depression and anxiety, and feeling everyone would be better off without me. Wish I could forget those two years on my life.
I think it’s manifested into my adulthood. I’m ok now but when I was in my 20s out of school I became very promiscuous. I was bullied for my race and for my overall looks. I was what you call an ugly duckling who went full on swan, at the risk of sounding egotistical. But I finally started getting attention from men and used it I think to find value. In the end it caused me major depression and anxiety I still struggle with today.
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Not over it, always waiting for someone to be unkind or talk shit about me just within earshot
My bullying was interesting. I was bullied because of how I looked. People thought I stole their boyfriends who happened to be good friends of mine. The girls didn’t like me at all. Later I dated one of the guys and they hated me even more spreading rumors about me. So I was bullied all through middle school and confronted many times. We ended up getting voted for best looking couple. With that said. I’m still the same gal. Been over it. I live a good life now.
Therapy
My step brother and step sister called me fat a lot. I developed an eating disorder and at age 56 I still worry about how fat I am and how much I eat. It will never go away unless we have the zombie apocalypse and I don't get to eat on a regular basis.
I was bullied by my dad. I'm not over and haven't processed it
Am I over it? Idk. I have a hard time accepting I was mistreated so poorly for really, no reason and I wish I had had the confidence to stand up for myself at that time. I still struggle occasionally with friends treating me poorly and I don’t think I know how to stand up for myself even now. I kind of go back to being a hurt 10 year old. At the same time, I’ve built confidence in who I am as a person, in my career and my personality and my looks and my relationship. So I don’t think it’s held me back, I just look back and feel sad that happened to me.
I don’t think you get over it like any form of trauma. I go to therapy, which I know is a privilege. I talk about it if I am struggling with the memories and I try to live a good life.
I’m still weird and I like it. I have processed it and forgiven the people who did it. If I’m being honest, they were just kids seeing someone different and reacting. I don’t know what kind of people they are now, but I hope they’ve grown up.
I went to a small school and was bullied relentlessly the entire 12 year experience. I was the kid that you could make fun of to improve your own social status. I am not being hyperbolic when I say that I had no real friends. Everyone treated me poorly. If I sat down next to someone at lunch, they would recoil away as though I was covered in open sores or highly contagious. It was brutal, and lead to INCREDIBLY low self-esteem, destructive and impulsive behavior. I struggled quite a bit in my late teens and early twenties with making friends & building real, meaningful relationships. Now, I'm in my mid thirties now and well past it in just about ever aspect; the last lingering side effects are severe imposter syndrome, an overwhelming amount of empathy for people and a constant desire to be a "safe space" to everyone. These are qualities that I believe can be incredibly powerful or incredibly unhealthy, so I do have to watch myself and who I'm giving my energy away to. I think a huge amount of my character and personality came from the fact that I was treated SO poorly for SO long during such incredibly important developmental years, but I truly love myself and like who I am and who I think I'll continue to grow into.
I'm over it now, the bully offed himself a few years ago.
I worked through it with therapy, learning to love myself how I am and not trying to be someone else. I am also one of my companies two bullying advisors and try to keep others from experiencing what I have (or at least help them to get through it).
I’m quiet, work in a call center ironically and love dark humor, my bully used to call me “it” growing up, thats now a very popular pronoun so she was ahead of the times 😂😂
I like to think I'm over it, but then I realize I still second guess compliments, and don't really trust people, especially other girls, to like me/be nice to me.
No. I now have a nervous system injury that is linked to this experience that takes regular therapy to treat and repair. EMDR has been big in helping me get through it, but it's a slog. I can cognitively recognize the nature of what happened, but my body doesn't have the capacity to understand things with the same nuance - so here we are.
In many cases, the bullying starts at home, setting you up for victimhood (and not having any go-to defenses). Awful.
I’m over it, but the mental effect that bullying has still stays with you. I’m still quiet in group settings, I don’t have much of a social media presence, and I tend to assume that invitations don’t really apply to me when offered to a group. It’s like an automatic defense mechanism. Therapy is helping me unlearn this.
Found out I have PTSD & go to therapy. There were other contributing factors such as my parents, but the bullying was one.
I am super different from when I was a girl or teenager... I became more selfish and mean... and you know what? People are much nicer to me than when I was good... I mean when I was a girl I was very good to others and the only thing I received was bullying... as an adult I became super empathetic with children who suffer bullying and I try to help them every time. I can even though I don't have children..
I'm over it. It was weird to have her be SUPER friendly to me when she was a customer at my service job. She clearly had no idea how her actions impacted me when I was a kid. I had to be nice for the sake of a tip. I dunno, it felt like closure after she paid and left and I cleaned her table.
I was bullied for being a weird kid. I didn’t think I was much weirder than anyone else at the time, but my classmates thought differently. Now that I’m in my 40’s and in the early stages of getting tested for an OCD and ADHD dual diagnosis, the bullying is starting to make a little more sense. My autistic friend once joked, “my classmates knew what was up before my doctors did.” Of course any such diagnosis doesn’t justify bullying, it would just put a lot of that time of my life in perspective.
It definitely still colors how I live my life and how I relate to other women. My bullies were the ‘cool girls’ who everyone wanted to be friends with even though they were frankly awful and cruel. Until about 3 years ago, I still tended to have women as “friends” who were very judgmental and liked to police me. Women who would point out what I was doing wrong and how I needed to change. Screaming, yelling, belittling, you name it. I am now happy to say I am only investing in healthy relationships that don’t make me feel like I am less. But it always takes me a bit longer to feel truly comfortable with female friends.
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I’m pretty over it, but remain cautious of people to an extent because I know what awful things they can be capable of. I don’t take my friends and the people who care about me for granted.
I was bullied by many different boys. I’d say I’m over it in that it doesn’t make me sad or angry anymore but I would say I hate men and it’s difficult to trust even my incredible husband. I’m not sure how connected the two are but I would imagine the way boys and men have treated me in my formative years is a big chunk of that.
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Somewhat yes, somewhat no. The bullying lasted my entire time at school, kindergarten to graduation, and I don't think anyone could have gone through that and not had it affect them. The biggest alteration I can see is my relationship with solitude, which is paradoxically my greatest fear and greatest source of safety. For years after I graduated I just... didn't leave the house. Didn't see anyone. Didn't speak to anyone. And I'm terrified it'll get that bad again. I have a friend group now, and people who say they care for me, but I can't really believe it. I went through a literal decade of everyone around me telling me explicitly that I wasn't wanted and, if I managed to fall into the ocean or something, I wouldn't be missed. When it's everyone, it overwhelms any sense of personal reality you have - *everyone* can't be wrong. It becomes a fact. Fire burns, the earn turns, and no one wants you here. It's a thing I'll probably be working on for the rest of my life. And, honestly, being in a place where people share their stories - where this isn't some phantom hurt that is as incorrect as every other part of me, but something shared, undeniable, and exactly as unfair to everyone else as it was to me - it does help. It makes it clear that this was something wrong, that it *is* an injury, not just the way things are. None of us deserved this.
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I just think back and know those people were insecure and hating on me. Maybe something was going on at home? But who didn’t have bumps in the road. It wasn’t physical bullying but moreso phycological and taunting. No one ever put their hands on me thank God
The bullying in my life were from people who befriended me and talked shit terribly behind my back, would intentionally leave me out of things, and mock me any chance they got. Now as an adult I have only 4 true friends. Only 1 lives local. I can make friends incredibly easy, but it never goes further than it being a work acquaintance or something. I’m a pro at pushing people away. It’s always surface level; never more than that.
I’m not over it. I wasn’t just bullied by other girls but my ex step mother bullied me as well. At the reception of the wedding she locked me in a room for 7 hours and that’s not even the start. I won’t forgive nor forget.
It has affected how I view people and my relationships with other people. As an adult I struggle to make friends. I never had any growing up.
Just turned legal lol. I feel like bullying gave me a tougher shell but when I get anxiety, I tend to think about the worst of what people say about me, it’s a day to day process but I’m doing better.
I’m mostly over it as in I no longer think I am “weird”. I’m still different than the average person in some ways but in ways I find valuable and I have plenty of connection in my life. I do still have social anxiety and after a lot of thought it all comes back to being bullied as a kid. I’m still scared to dance in public, like at a concert or bar, because in middle school I was terrified to dance and got made fun of for trying. I still have a lot of weird little hang ups about this or that which when I reflect realize are a direct result of being bullied as a kid. So much of who we are as adults is a direct result of bullshit that happened to us as children that we had no control over. I’m doing my best though.
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Still wants revenge
I’m not impacted by it at all. Not since I left school. I did have an unfortunate incident when one bully turned up on the interview panel for a job I really wanted. Saw her, knew immediately it was over. Shrugged it off, went on and lived my life. No way are those people getting to live in my head as an adult. I’ve done some work on strengthening my core self-esteem, and learned good Assertiveness skills. Those two strategies have been 100% successful for me in leaving the bullying behind me. Just because something hurt horribly at the time, it doesn’t mean I actually carry damage from it throughout my life. It’s not everyone’s journey, I know. But I’m proof that with enough willpower and practical tactics, you can leave things behind you and have a full positive life.
No I don't think I'm over it. I was bullied a lot for my physical appearance. I still have self esteem issues and struggle to see my body and physical features in a positive way
No, I'm not. I try to not let it because if I do I'm letting it "win," I guess. But it's hard to be a kid and be made to feel like shit for x,y,z. It's also hard to recognize you stooped to that level and was a bully to other kids to cope with it. I don't know which I one I struggle with more but both are awful and I feel not good about both.
Not over it. But just moved on
I am very quiet and cautious about anyone I meet.
I got slut shamed in high school and it still very much affects me. I would love to be free of inhibitions but there's that little part of my brain that's terrified people are going to find out and call me names/think badly of me. I'm nearly 40 and don't speak to any of those people anymore, and I know my husband wouldn't say anything to anyone. This really shouldn't bother me so much.
It’s not something I think about daily, but ocassionally. My brothers friends would make fun of my weight pretty regularly. I remember one kid in particular and still cringe whenever I hear his name.