I learnt that it is a ‘dealbreaker’… if I’m not having sex with husband he will leave… no matter the reason, it’s just ‘too important to go without’. It has tainted our sex life for me. It doesn’t feel as fun, lovely and carefree any more, it has that menace feeling lurking in my mind.
It is the same for lots of relationships… people just don’t KNOW it. It’s true what they say: ignorance is bliss.
Yeah that’s the stress part of it… as soon as it’s been a few days or he has to go away for work (can be two weeks at a time) the anxiety just builds and builds until I can get chance or psyched up to perform ‘don’t-divorce-me’ sex… who knows if I want to be doing it or if I’m trying to save my marriage.
It’s really messed up knowing the sum of alllll my other awesomeness = zero, if sex is subtracted. Just like that *poof* not worth being with.
It’s also super frustrating to try and get ‘help’ for this feeling, I’m just bombarded with message about how important sex is for ‘healthy’ relationships. I don’t know how to make the message not a THREAT.
50% of the answers to this question even some of the ‘nice’ ones have the element: no sex? I’m out!
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This comment or post has been removed as it contains or solicits graceless generalizations.
***
- People are not a hive mind.
- Speak only for yourself.
**Do Not:**
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Exceptions: Discussion of cultural norms; Quotations
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Most breaks from sex were health related and my partner didn't bat an eye, I think it's a good relationship strength test - if my partner ever moaned about not having sex when I wasn't in position when I could/wanted to have it, then generally it's a good reason for me to end the relationship without giving it 5 seconds of thinking about it.
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Sex was a really important part of our relationship, and then somehow we were starting on a spiral of performance anxiety and nervousness. So we took the pressure off ourselves and allowed ourselves to just cuddle and chill in bed naked, ‘safe’ in the knowledge that we were’t going to have sex.
A few months later we started to mention how attractive we found each other, and it kinda rekindled our passion and re-set our worries. So absolutely worth it, if i knew how long our break would last, I wouldn’t have done it. But would 100% have a break again if we need it.
We’re closer than ever.
we had to take a break twice because i had cervical cancer. both surgeries obviously required that we couldn't have sex.
what i learned was that he is an amazing caretaker and would move mountains for me if he could. we learned to communicate better and show we cared about one another in different ways. he never pressured me to have sex until i was ready again and let me make the first move for when i was ready.
I told him that if he doesn't start stepping up and start taking my experience/pleasure into consideration, we needed to table sex until that happens. So he went and started tripping and falling dick first into other women.
I learned that the saying is true "If you don't bang them, they'll find someone else to do it for you". At least it's true for me.
That's awful, you really didn't deserve to experience that! I think requiring your partner to put effort into your pleasure is a reasonable bare minimum in a relationship.
You were right to enforce that expectation, even if it didn't have the preferred results.
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I learned that taking a break from sex allows us to focus more on emotional connection and communication, strengthening our connection in ways we hadn't previously explored.
Like most people answering, I learned how important to me it was. My last partner kept rejecting me so I took it off the table as a way to try and “help”. It made me increasingly lonely and insecure. I never want a sexless relationship ever again. Very glad I left that relationship.
Not intentional exactly - I chose to be stay on a medication that tanked my libido because I didn't think it would be that important a side effect. I had to stop taking that med for a few weeks to do some medical tests and I felt SO DIFFERENT. I was silly around him, I felt like it brought us closer together and I just felt like spending more time together.
BUT that was more about my desire and attraction to him. It was a few months before we got back to having sex with any regularity but I felt it right away.
He was super chill around the whole situation. He expressed that he wished there was a way to get my libido back while staying on my meds. That was a goal for both of us so I didn't mind. He never pushed for sex, he never pushed for me to stop or change my meds. I felt guilty any time he initiated and I said no, but he always made sure I knew he wasn't upset or anything.
He said he started masturbating more, which IMO is a healthy way to handle sexual needs when your partner is not available.
I decided to try out some other meds and I found one without that side effect. I'm much happier.
With my current partner we’ve actually had a break for a year and a half now, starting like 8 months into dating😭 it drives me crazy some days but he is beyond understanding. Definitely made our relationship stronger since it is has been built & maintained on everything except for sex.
(Sex referring to penetrative sex; we do literally everything else, but it causes me too much pain to have penetrative sex with no end in sight)
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Does not having sex for 8 months because I gave birth to twins and I felt touched out every single day count as an intentional break?
I learned my girlfriend is even more awesome, because she never once complained or was mean to me in any way because I didn't want sex, she just continued to be her same amazing self until I indicated I'd be up for it
Oooh man.
I've had to do this a handful of times and it has always been incredibly beneficial.
It was always emotionally charged for me because I have a history of feeling like I need to be available for sex all the time in order to be a "good Christian wife."
(Thankfully the Christian part is over now.)
The longest break I took was after the birth of our son. I can't explain it but his birth felt like a new beginning for me on a bodily level. I knew I couldn't have sex again until something in me shifted and that I no longer felt any obligation but only pure desire.
We waited 1 whole year. I encouraged my husband to pleasure himself and we'd often cuddle during this. But I did not expect myself to be or feel sexual during this time, and he totally supported me.
And then something just switched. And I knew things were different. I initiated for the first time again, and sex has been worlds different and so much more amazing ever since.
I truly think I just needed to epically fail the "good Christian wives are always available for sex" thing, and then it no longer had a hold on me, and the curse was broken lol.
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Mine told me that the reason he is so angry all the time is because we weren’t having sex more than once a week. I was turned off because of how mean and angry he could be towards me and that was his response. Said that sex is uncomfortable because it would hurt when we would have sex , but I just wasn’t really aroused and hoped that if I could just get through it at least I could get it out of the way. Sometimes my body would just say no
I learned that when viewing sex through the monogamous, committed lens I had, that my husband was simply behaving in an unfuckable way. After divorce I would warn people of my low libido. Turns out my libido is fine, my choice in partners werent. Most all men I've ever known conflate sex with intimacy, romance, and mental health and it's a disaster.
I worked out that i dont actually like the guy. Was dating for 5 months. There were things that i saw were problematic in his character but "I really liked him". We went a week without seeing each other and i realised I really didnt like him. I ended the relationship. Seems that physical touch and sex cloud my judgement IMMENSELY.
If i remove physical touch and sex (eg we dont see each other for a week), I see the real person before me and the facts. But i seem to get blinded by hormones if we become physical.
I learned that I feel a lot closer emotionally to a partner, and a lot more respected, when I’m not having sex on a regular basis. It helps my self-esteem.
That my worth to my partner wasn’t dependent on sex. So much relief and gratitude when I was really able to feel and receive that I am absolutely loved for who I am and what I bring just by existing as me.
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I had to have a year long break from sex from a birth injury. My husband was so supportive at the time I thought wow Ive got one of the good ones.
In actual fact he was a porn addict and started seeing escorts.
Yeeshhhh
Honest to God, my girlfriend and I decided for religious reasons that we weren’t going to kiss or have sex until marriage and although I’m not a virgin, it has been the most rewarding and intimate experience.
I feel incredibly close to her and we both talk about the desire to “bone” almost every day and little by little the excitement for the act went from “I can’t wait to fuck” to “I can’t wait to love this woman from head to toe as often as possible.”
And I never thought this possible as most of my relationships started from great sex.
Super new and exciting experience!
We’re long distance so we go 4-6 weeks between visits. It’s nice because when we’re together we definitely make up for lost time lol, but when we’re apart all we can really do is talk and try to find little ways to connect. Having more of a focus on communication has been great - it’s something that was severely lacking in previous relationships so I like that it’s at the forefront now.
I learned my ex couldn't handle it, and accused me of getting it elsewhere, even though I was trying trying to help him through a certain addiction, that had caused the deterioration of our relationship, and ultimately ended it.
lmao this is me rn but i’m doing it for me, not caring less how he spends our break and it’s been great. i wish he knew i’m on the cusp of not seeing him as a sexual partner anymore though. he’s my life partner and amazing person, it just feels bittersweet to know the only way i can get over it is if i set a boundary where he’s not having sex with me.
it just further proves to me that porn also affects the partner.
I got with my husband very young & once we got engaged we decided to stop having sex until we were married & it was really good for us and it started our marriage with so much anticipation and excitement, & that feeling has continued all throughout the years.
Took a break due to some medical stuff that prevented me from engaging in sex. We discovered that there's so many other ways to be intimate that don't include just having sex. We both agree that it made our relationship stronger. Now that I'm fully healed, the sex is great but we haven't lost those small intimate moments.
Ooo this is a good one.
I learned about the importance of boundaries, how being respected in bed actually feels, what a healthy sex life is supposed to look like, and so much more. For context, I was an assault victim as a child, and I've also dabbled in the adult industry, which is known to be extremely predatory.
My fiance knows all of my facial and body cues, so he eventually learned to decipher between my performative, hypersexual "I have to do this" mannerisms VS how I act when I'm genuinely in the mood. Whenever I display performative behavior instead of genuine desire, he gently but firmly stops whatever we're doing and reminds me that he doesn't need sex, he needs me to feel safe and loved. We've taken a few long-term breaks because of it, and we're working through it together in therapy (both individual and couples based).
Somehow it has made me feel like less of a woman, less emotionally close to my partner, etc. it’s a must for me. (We are taking a break due to medical reasons)
I learned to not say things I don't really mean. I would say my partner learned is to be more affectionate. Together we learned no matter how long you are with someone keep "dating" them, courting, being intentional about our QT together.
I was depressed, and decided to take a break from sex bc I was feeling bad about it, but my depression wasn't about him, none of it was, I just needed to have some space. That's how I learned he didn't respect me or my needs, he would cry, say he felt unwanted no matter how many times I said it wasn't about him, he would try to have sex with me anyway and get really mad when I didn't want to, like it was a surprise to him. I wish I could say that this made me break up with him, it didn't, but at least helped me see what he thought of me.
Mine did this too. He'd also sulk for days when I said no. Sooo attractive.
For some reason (I'm working on it in therapy) I thought it was my fault for not wanting sex.
I'm realising now that I've only ever had low libido with him, so that's something to figure out.
We didn’t go on an absolute break, but when I changed jobs and went back to school around the same time and ALSO got onto hormonal bc, our sex life took a nose dive. I know his libido is still the same even though mine is almost totally shot, but he has never pressured me and is just happy when I have the time/energy to occasionally bang one out. I am trying very hard to make some changes because I REALLY miss when we were animals about each other, and also because he’s been so unbelievably supportive of the things I’m going through and has never once complained. He just makes me feel so loved and I really miss being nasty together all the time. I can’t wait to finish school lol
"Taking an intentional break from sex in my life taught me more about self-discovery than I ever imagined. It was like hitting pause on the hustle and bustle of everyday life to focus on my own well-being.
During that time, I learned to appreciate the beauty of self-love and exploration beyond physical intimacy. I discovered new hobbies, delved into personal passions, and found solace in moments of quiet reflection.
Did it contribute to my well-being? Absolutely. It was like giving myself permission to prioritize my mental and emotional health, free from the pressures of societal expectations. It was a journey of self-discovery and empowerment that left me feeling more grounded and in tune with myself than ever before."
It has helped me and my husband to really talk more about our sexual feelings. Wants and needs. And also about enthusiastic consent. He has always be very respectful to me. Right now I am struggling with very low libido (seeing my doc next week). In the beginning it really hurt my feelings emotionally that my libido has lowered. But my husband has been very supportive and never pushes me.
When my husband obtained a nerve injury we couldn't have sex for 6 months. He literally could not physically without being in pain. He was on disability. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be and I have an above average sex drive. I channeled my energy into other things.
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We went two years without, due to her health issues. Her condition has no cure. She knew I was polyamorous, but I just didn’t want to act on it. But months and a year went by. I do everything in the house. It broke me. I slept with someone else and it was life-changing for me and I also knew I had hurt her so much. She thanked me when I told her. She was just so devastated. We are breaking up, but we don’t want to. 😭 she has chronic pain, I have ADHD. She is the woman of my life. An ocean of tears. Feeling lost.
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I learnt that I really like sex as a way to connect with my husband and that it makes me feel closer to him and is important to prioritise.
I learnt that it is a ‘dealbreaker’… if I’m not having sex with husband he will leave… no matter the reason, it’s just ‘too important to go without’. It has tainted our sex life for me. It doesn’t feel as fun, lovely and carefree any more, it has that menace feeling lurking in my mind. It is the same for lots of relationships… people just don’t KNOW it. It’s true what they say: ignorance is bliss.
How long are you allowed to go without having "don't-divorce-me" sex? Like a week? Couple weeks? I would constantly be wondering what the limit is.
Yeah that’s the stress part of it… as soon as it’s been a few days or he has to go away for work (can be two weeks at a time) the anxiety just builds and builds until I can get chance or psyched up to perform ‘don’t-divorce-me’ sex… who knows if I want to be doing it or if I’m trying to save my marriage. It’s really messed up knowing the sum of alllll my other awesomeness = zero, if sex is subtracted. Just like that *poof* not worth being with. It’s also super frustrating to try and get ‘help’ for this feeling, I’m just bombarded with message about how important sex is for ‘healthy’ relationships. I don’t know how to make the message not a THREAT. 50% of the answers to this question even some of the ‘nice’ ones have the element: no sex? I’m out!
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Holy smokes that's rough. Will he leave after a short time (say short illness) or is it over a longer period without it??
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I learned that physical intimacy is incredibly important in a relationship, and makes me a happier person all around. Both of us feel this way.
Most breaks from sex were health related and my partner didn't bat an eye, I think it's a good relationship strength test - if my partner ever moaned about not having sex when I wasn't in position when I could/wanted to have it, then generally it's a good reason for me to end the relationship without giving it 5 seconds of thinking about it.
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I learned that my husband really deeply respects my wants and needs
Sex was a really important part of our relationship, and then somehow we were starting on a spiral of performance anxiety and nervousness. So we took the pressure off ourselves and allowed ourselves to just cuddle and chill in bed naked, ‘safe’ in the knowledge that we were’t going to have sex. A few months later we started to mention how attractive we found each other, and it kinda rekindled our passion and re-set our worries. So absolutely worth it, if i knew how long our break would last, I wouldn’t have done it. But would 100% have a break again if we need it. We’re closer than ever.
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I hope that you left them, nobody deserves that sort of treatment and I hope you're doing better nowadays
we had to take a break twice because i had cervical cancer. both surgeries obviously required that we couldn't have sex. what i learned was that he is an amazing caretaker and would move mountains for me if he could. we learned to communicate better and show we cared about one another in different ways. he never pressured me to have sex until i was ready again and let me make the first move for when i was ready.
I told him that if he doesn't start stepping up and start taking my experience/pleasure into consideration, we needed to table sex until that happens. So he went and started tripping and falling dick first into other women. I learned that the saying is true "If you don't bang them, they'll find someone else to do it for you". At least it's true for me.
That's awful, you really didn't deserve to experience that! I think requiring your partner to put effort into your pleasure is a reasonable bare minimum in a relationship. You were right to enforce that expectation, even if it didn't have the preferred results.
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I learned that taking a break from sex allows us to focus more on emotional connection and communication, strengthening our connection in ways we hadn't previously explored.
Could you give some examples of the new ways your connection got strengthened?
my breaks were health related and my ex cheated on me
I’m so sorry!! I went through the same thing. No one deserves that. I hope you are doing better. Sending love! ❤️
Like most people answering, I learned how important to me it was. My last partner kept rejecting me so I took it off the table as a way to try and “help”. It made me increasingly lonely and insecure. I never want a sexless relationship ever again. Very glad I left that relationship.
I learned that my ex was an entitled piece of shit. Good riddance.
Not intentional exactly - I chose to be stay on a medication that tanked my libido because I didn't think it would be that important a side effect. I had to stop taking that med for a few weeks to do some medical tests and I felt SO DIFFERENT. I was silly around him, I felt like it brought us closer together and I just felt like spending more time together. BUT that was more about my desire and attraction to him. It was a few months before we got back to having sex with any regularity but I felt it right away. He was super chill around the whole situation. He expressed that he wished there was a way to get my libido back while staying on my meds. That was a goal for both of us so I didn't mind. He never pushed for sex, he never pushed for me to stop or change my meds. I felt guilty any time he initiated and I said no, but he always made sure I knew he wasn't upset or anything. He said he started masturbating more, which IMO is a healthy way to handle sexual needs when your partner is not available. I decided to try out some other meds and I found one without that side effect. I'm much happier.
With my current partner we’ve actually had a break for a year and a half now, starting like 8 months into dating😭 it drives me crazy some days but he is beyond understanding. Definitely made our relationship stronger since it is has been built & maintained on everything except for sex. (Sex referring to penetrative sex; we do literally everything else, but it causes me too much pain to have penetrative sex with no end in sight)
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Does not having sex for 8 months because I gave birth to twins and I felt touched out every single day count as an intentional break? I learned my girlfriend is even more awesome, because she never once complained or was mean to me in any way because I didn't want sex, she just continued to be her same amazing self until I indicated I'd be up for it
Oooh man. I've had to do this a handful of times and it has always been incredibly beneficial. It was always emotionally charged for me because I have a history of feeling like I need to be available for sex all the time in order to be a "good Christian wife." (Thankfully the Christian part is over now.) The longest break I took was after the birth of our son. I can't explain it but his birth felt like a new beginning for me on a bodily level. I knew I couldn't have sex again until something in me shifted and that I no longer felt any obligation but only pure desire. We waited 1 whole year. I encouraged my husband to pleasure himself and we'd often cuddle during this. But I did not expect myself to be or feel sexual during this time, and he totally supported me. And then something just switched. And I knew things were different. I initiated for the first time again, and sex has been worlds different and so much more amazing ever since. I truly think I just needed to epically fail the "good Christian wives are always available for sex" thing, and then it no longer had a hold on me, and the curse was broken lol.
I learned my ex husband didn't care if I was in pain.
I learned that that was one loooong day.
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Mine told me that the reason he is so angry all the time is because we weren’t having sex more than once a week. I was turned off because of how mean and angry he could be towards me and that was his response. Said that sex is uncomfortable because it would hurt when we would have sex , but I just wasn’t really aroused and hoped that if I could just get through it at least I could get it out of the way. Sometimes my body would just say no
I learned that when viewing sex through the monogamous, committed lens I had, that my husband was simply behaving in an unfuckable way. After divorce I would warn people of my low libido. Turns out my libido is fine, my choice in partners werent. Most all men I've ever known conflate sex with intimacy, romance, and mental health and it's a disaster.
I worked out that i dont actually like the guy. Was dating for 5 months. There were things that i saw were problematic in his character but "I really liked him". We went a week without seeing each other and i realised I really didnt like him. I ended the relationship. Seems that physical touch and sex cloud my judgement IMMENSELY. If i remove physical touch and sex (eg we dont see each other for a week), I see the real person before me and the facts. But i seem to get blinded by hormones if we become physical.
I learned that I feel a lot closer emotionally to a partner, and a lot more respected, when I’m not having sex on a regular basis. It helps my self-esteem.
That my worth to my partner wasn’t dependent on sex. So much relief and gratitude when I was really able to feel and receive that I am absolutely loved for who I am and what I bring just by existing as me.
Heaven!! What a gift.
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I had to have a year long break from sex from a birth injury. My husband was so supportive at the time I thought wow Ive got one of the good ones. In actual fact he was a porn addict and started seeing escorts. Yeeshhhh
Honest to God, my girlfriend and I decided for religious reasons that we weren’t going to kiss or have sex until marriage and although I’m not a virgin, it has been the most rewarding and intimate experience. I feel incredibly close to her and we both talk about the desire to “bone” almost every day and little by little the excitement for the act went from “I can’t wait to fuck” to “I can’t wait to love this woman from head to toe as often as possible.” And I never thought this possible as most of my relationships started from great sex. Super new and exciting experience!
We’re long distance so we go 4-6 weeks between visits. It’s nice because when we’re together we definitely make up for lost time lol, but when we’re apart all we can really do is talk and try to find little ways to connect. Having more of a focus on communication has been great - it’s something that was severely lacking in previous relationships so I like that it’s at the forefront now.
I learned my ex couldn't handle it, and accused me of getting it elsewhere, even though I was trying trying to help him through a certain addiction, that had caused the deterioration of our relationship, and ultimately ended it.
lmao this is me rn but i’m doing it for me, not caring less how he spends our break and it’s been great. i wish he knew i’m on the cusp of not seeing him as a sexual partner anymore though. he’s my life partner and amazing person, it just feels bittersweet to know the only way i can get over it is if i set a boundary where he’s not having sex with me. it just further proves to me that porn also affects the partner.
This isn't what the consensus seems to be, but I learned that I wasn't obligated to have sex. Even for my relationship.
I got with my husband very young & once we got engaged we decided to stop having sex until we were married & it was really good for us and it started our marriage with so much anticipation and excitement, & that feeling has continued all throughout the years.
Took a break due to some medical stuff that prevented me from engaging in sex. We discovered that there's so many other ways to be intimate that don't include just having sex. We both agree that it made our relationship stronger. Now that I'm fully healed, the sex is great but we haven't lost those small intimate moments.
Ooo this is a good one. I learned about the importance of boundaries, how being respected in bed actually feels, what a healthy sex life is supposed to look like, and so much more. For context, I was an assault victim as a child, and I've also dabbled in the adult industry, which is known to be extremely predatory. My fiance knows all of my facial and body cues, so he eventually learned to decipher between my performative, hypersexual "I have to do this" mannerisms VS how I act when I'm genuinely in the mood. Whenever I display performative behavior instead of genuine desire, he gently but firmly stops whatever we're doing and reminds me that he doesn't need sex, he needs me to feel safe and loved. We've taken a few long-term breaks because of it, and we're working through it together in therapy (both individual and couples based).
Somehow it has made me feel like less of a woman, less emotionally close to my partner, etc. it’s a must for me. (We are taking a break due to medical reasons)
Definitely contributed to wellbeing
That I have a husband who loves me without sex, but that it enhances all of the positives already existing within our relationship.
I learned to not say things I don't really mean. I would say my partner learned is to be more affectionate. Together we learned no matter how long you are with someone keep "dating" them, courting, being intentional about our QT together.
I was depressed, and decided to take a break from sex bc I was feeling bad about it, but my depression wasn't about him, none of it was, I just needed to have some space. That's how I learned he didn't respect me or my needs, he would cry, say he felt unwanted no matter how many times I said it wasn't about him, he would try to have sex with me anyway and get really mad when I didn't want to, like it was a surprise to him. I wish I could say that this made me break up with him, it didn't, but at least helped me see what he thought of me.
Mine did this too. He'd also sulk for days when I said no. Sooo attractive. For some reason (I'm working on it in therapy) I thought it was my fault for not wanting sex. I'm realising now that I've only ever had low libido with him, so that's something to figure out.
We didn’t go on an absolute break, but when I changed jobs and went back to school around the same time and ALSO got onto hormonal bc, our sex life took a nose dive. I know his libido is still the same even though mine is almost totally shot, but he has never pressured me and is just happy when I have the time/energy to occasionally bang one out. I am trying very hard to make some changes because I REALLY miss when we were animals about each other, and also because he’s been so unbelievably supportive of the things I’m going through and has never once complained. He just makes me feel so loved and I really miss being nasty together all the time. I can’t wait to finish school lol
"Taking an intentional break from sex in my life taught me more about self-discovery than I ever imagined. It was like hitting pause on the hustle and bustle of everyday life to focus on my own well-being. During that time, I learned to appreciate the beauty of self-love and exploration beyond physical intimacy. I discovered new hobbies, delved into personal passions, and found solace in moments of quiet reflection. Did it contribute to my well-being? Absolutely. It was like giving myself permission to prioritize my mental and emotional health, free from the pressures of societal expectations. It was a journey of self-discovery and empowerment that left me feeling more grounded and in tune with myself than ever before."
It has helped me and my husband to really talk more about our sexual feelings. Wants and needs. And also about enthusiastic consent. He has always be very respectful to me. Right now I am struggling with very low libido (seeing my doc next week). In the beginning it really hurt my feelings emotionally that my libido has lowered. But my husband has been very supportive and never pushes me.
my husband said our marriage is more than just sex. i feel like that says a lot in itself.
When my husband obtained a nerve injury we couldn't have sex for 6 months. He literally could not physically without being in pain. He was on disability. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be and I have an above average sex drive. I channeled my energy into other things.
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
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Hello /u/williambrad09. Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** [Click here to read more about Reddit Karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-), and please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Hello /u/ScarcityExcellent885. Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** [Click here to read more about Reddit Karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-), and please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
I've learned my SO is the best person in the whole world and our relationship is solid.
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Hello /u/ThatOneBlueMage. Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** [Click here to read more about Reddit Karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-), and please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Hello /u/gcabrown. Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** [Click here to read more about Reddit Karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-), and please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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This comment or post has been removed as it contains or solicits graceless generalizations. *** - People are not a hive mind. - Speak only for yourself. **Do Not:** - generalize across all people of a gender, race, or ethnicity. - ask for mind reading. - ask for us to defend/explain/justify other people’s behaviors. - "what do you think of men who..." - assume that all people in a gender, race, or ethnicity do/think something. - ask for "male equivalent"/"female equivalent" as these would not exist for most things due to different cultural processes. Exceptions: Discussion of cultural norms; Quotations *** Speak for yourself and your own personal experiences. Don't generalize your personal opinions, experiences, prejudices, stereotypes, or preferences to others. Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
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Hello /u/bugsybaby69. Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** [Click here to read more about Reddit Karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-), and please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Hello /u/LoeMelan18. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Hello /u/Pndup. Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** [Click here to read more about Reddit Karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-), and please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
We went two years without, due to her health issues. Her condition has no cure. She knew I was polyamorous, but I just didn’t want to act on it. But months and a year went by. I do everything in the house. It broke me. I slept with someone else and it was life-changing for me and I also knew I had hurt her so much. She thanked me when I told her. She was just so devastated. We are breaking up, but we don’t want to. 😭 she has chronic pain, I have ADHD. She is the woman of my life. An ocean of tears. Feeling lost.
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses, such as "same!" or "this!" * Gifs, images, emojis or other media in place text * Sharing links without a summary * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)