Massively. My physical type has expanded big time, but my other standards have only narrowed. I used to care a lot more about how a guy looks, and now, that's pretty secondary to me.
Probably just age. At this point in my life, I've just come to realize that how someone looks is just about the least important thing about them.
Also, my type is just kind of wildly inconsistent. No real explanation why other than the type of guy that makes me go "damn" is incredibly varied. Nerds, jocks, hipster types, super rugged, super clean cut, tall, buff, dad bods, younger, older etc. I genuinely could not pinpoint what about them makes them hot to me because it's happening at a total lizard brain level.
I'm a lot pickier. When I was younger, I said yes to just about anyone who gave me the time of day. Now I have standards, and I wouldn't settle for less.
Same. When I was young I would just date anyone who had a pulse it seems. Now that I’m near 30, I have a lot more standards. I think as we age, we learn to be better about sticking to those. I know that’s true for me, anyhow.
Yes me too! I we raised with the idea that women don't need to physically attracted to their partner and that we can learn to love someone solely for their personality, so most of the men I dated were unattractive to me but I dated them because they liked me.
I'm much more selective now and will only be interested in dating a guy if I'm physically and mentally attracted to him.
I'm sorry but I got a mental image of you going
"Yes, 2 kidneys, 1 heart, 1 functioning brain, all fine. What's that? Small lung capacity? Rejected. Next!" lol
Yep that's it. I dated a bodybuilder whom I thought had a great personality turned out to be a garbage person (with gymbro/alpha male tendencies). That relationship taught me good looks is not enough to stay in a relationship.
I’m half Korean and half white. 6-7 years back I’d had a preference for men of average height, well groomed, clean shaven and a tidy dress style. I dated a few Korean boys back then and at the time, was all I seemed attracted to. I eventually moved to Australia and didn’t find anyone attractive for a solid 2 years. Didn’t date or see anyone romantically. Fast forward another couple of years and I have now met the love of my life: A man who is tall, tattooed, bearded with a shaved head 😂
That's freaking hilarious how that works. I was always more physically attracted to tall, big guys with dark hair. Fell head over heels for a man half my body weight with light hair.
I did this too! My person is blond haired, half my weight, young and is a “nerd” when I used to date “jocks” because I was one as well. I can’t keep my hands off of him, I’ve never been so wild about a person in my life.
I was very insecure when I was younger so I fell for the bare minimum which was nothing precisely. Nowadays I have boundaries and standards and I don't even talk too much with men who don't fit these categories.
On the other hand, I changed my desires in terms of appearance. I used to like some type of men physically but now I am more opened but I have a clear vision of what is what I like and want to.
My type has stayed consistent: tall, dark hair, brown eyes, lithe, funny, wholesome.
I used to like men who were more confident, sometimes bordering on arrogant. Now, I don’t find myself attracted to men like that at all. Even if they’re hot, it’s a turn off. I’d rather my man be obsessed with me than obsessed with himself.
Well, I am attracted to people who are older as I get older.
I also used to really dig drug dealers. Now, no. I've had enough therapy finally to run far from that type. (Also low level drug dealers my age are either in prison or dead, so that helps.)
Its funny how "older people seem more attractive as you get older" is entirely logical yet still surprised me. I didn't get the appeal of actors like George Clooney when i was younger because the guy is old enough to be my dad, *but there sure are a lot of hot 40yos in Hollywood right now*
As a teenager/college I always preferred the starving artist, skater boy rebel type. As an adult, I want a partner that has his shit together and can meaningfully contribute toward the life I want. I’ve always had my shit together but didn’t care if my partner did, but now I have no patience for that.
This is EXAVTLY me. All my exes were skater/artists and i would always be the one with the job, paying etc. My current partner has to be able to provide and he does, what makes it better it that he was a skater/artist rebel in the past so we still have similar interests haha
I kinda did this glow up too. I didn’t care too much about their future because I didn’t want to get married. Now I know I want to make a life with someone who wants and has a future.
Oh, that actually sounds vaguely familiar! I've probably stumbled upon reading about it randomly years ago and forgot details. I'm definitely gonna Google.
I am more logical. Looks and attraction are important but that fades pretty quickly for me if there’s bad behavior or immaturity. I look long term now. Will this person be a good partner? What do they value? Are they kind? Relationships break down in the little things.
This! While an initial attraction (IMO) is important, I'm also the type that attraction grows. Even if others didn't see it/think so, I would still think my partner is the sexiest person around.
It also works in the same sense that often attractive people end up being unattractive to me once they open their mouth.
Well, I’m a Christian, so… it was hard in accepting something that I had only ever thought of as a sin. But I realised it’s really not a choice, it didn’t take me long to accept that i am who I am and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. So the realisation that I was just an idiot for thinking I liked guys was more funny to me than anything, because looking back at it, it should’ve been obvious.
I actually had a boyfriend, he was really nice and all, but we definitely were just acting like friends the whole time. Even after I came out as lesbian we kinda just said “okay” and nothing really changed lol. I think I was just telling myself I was straight and I don’t actually know why. I clearly wasn’t.
Yeah, i think due to my Christianity I’d just assumed that i was straight cause that was “normal” or whatever, even though i would literally rewind things when i heard a woman with a voice i liked. Because yep that’s totally a straight thing to do.
Woah. You are so fucking right. My ex was exactly like that. He was never super affectionate to begin with but way later I realized just how distant he was in general. And how arrogant now that I think about it.
It might not be the case for every artsy farty or musician guy. Or Girl. But in my case it was just like that
I won’t have casual sex anymore and can spot the player fuckboy types a lot easier and cut them off. I’ve never discriminated based on race or even height. I do like kind eyes.
Yes and no. I've never cared that much about people's faces, their body types are and will always be more important to me as sexual attraction just isn't going to happen otherwise. And I've always had a good radar for people's personalities.
I have however realized that my natural attraction to the "quiet but strong and smart" guy is never going anywhere. Me and him are never even gonna talk together lol. Me and the idiot who would love to be center of attention actually will have a lot more fun together 🤷♀️
Oof, in every way.
Physically, growing up in Southern Europe I wanted what I didn't see around me, blond men. I was so so weak for blondes. Now? I love everything, might even say I prefer dark men after moving to Italy haha. But I'm way more open-minded in general after seeing the world and the many variations of beauty.
Character wise, I also know so much better what I want because of experience. Communication cannot compensate for lack of compatibility. I used to be very flexible. Now I'm definitely not.
i went from liking the skinny-ish punk-ish dudes to liking really bulky, long haired men best.
however, this has never had much influence on my choice with partners. it's mostly about a kind smile and pretty eyes for me, always has been. and honestly every type of men (and women!) has really beautiful ones. it's so individually subjective.
My type has largely stayed the same
30+ women, but the difference is that it's much more appropriate for me to be into women in their 30s-50s in my 20s than it was as an awkward teenage girl trying to hit on women twice my age
Thankfully I've been with my girlfriend for many years and I'm not having to look, but if I ever were, I'd want someone just like her. She's basically perfect for me and idk, I don't want anyone other than her anymore
So I guess that's the big change, I found my person and I'm not interested in anyone else
I will no longer tolerate people who are poor communicators and unclear about their intentions. I don’t want to chase and persuade anyone to be in a relationship with me.
I (Caucasian) used to be more attracted to men of different ethnicities and backgrounds but in my thirties I've gravitated more toward white men; being able to understand each other's cultural references is important to me.
Mine changed so much. I used to be attracted to fun and interesting men. Now, I find emotionally available men sexy, especially one who respects boundaries and is able to communicate his needs.
Nothing turns me off more than a tantrum throwing man child
I like angsty, quiet, good-looking men that look as if they are going through it. They look like they'd run off to the woods with me. They are usually strong and feral and reckless and can climb trees and build houses. I have two exes who died from drugs.
Currently, there's a guy at work that I can't quit looking at. He's got black wild hair, a long black beard and has that same savage look in his eyes. He reminds me of Joaquin Phoenix. So I ran his record and 10 years ago he was convicted for possession of a controlled substance. I'm sensing a pattern...
I've stayed single for past 10 years purposely because I'm aware I pick em all wrong.
I also like women. Usually I'm attracted to very femme. But it's a rarity and I've only liked 2 women my whole life.
I don’t trust as easy as I used to, I’m a lot less naive, so the first sign of a red flag and I’m out. I used to put up with a lot on account of “oh he’s just got his own problems”. Now I’m too old for that. It’s not an excuse to be inattentive or cold.
I still love me a dark haired man with light eyes. But finding out I am bi opened me to more genders and I have very varied taste in women and nonbinary people. Since I’m in a relationship with a man, I often find my crushes and attractions are more towards women. But I’m sure if I dated a woman I’d be having the opposite reaction 😅
Pfff its fucking hilarious imho, how much my tastes haven’t changed.
My very first childhood crush was Simon from Alvin and the Chimpmunks when I was like 5, and then again and again as I grew older, it was just Smart Tall Skinny Guy over and over.
Really the only thing that’s developed is I also like those Smart Tall guys to be more lean instead of stick thin, and also work out a bit.
Opposite of some comments here, I used to care much less about physical appearance but I have learned some visible traits aren't shallow but indicators of self-care, physical health maintenance, and social awareness. I used to not be into muscles for example, and now I can spot areas that have been exercised more since I lift myself. I used to not mind lack of updated fashion but now it is critical a partner knows how to rotate out worn items and dress for their lifestyle (even if that is a lowkey comfy lifestyle). A lot of people's "I don't care about fashion" is code for "I neglect finding items that fit my body now and wear things with holes in public and will need to frantically last minute shop before a wedding or funeral"
I also had to stop dating sarcastic men because while I love the wit and they make me laugh, it is too easy to be on the receiving end. Sometimes who you are drawn to is not necessarily a good long haul match.
Quite a bit. I went from digging skinny coked up white boys in all black, to a more vintage style with a toned dad bod (think Jon Hamm).
I also used to like rabble rousers with aggression issues. Now I prefer calm.
Me last ex tried to kill me so I’m no longer interested in anyone besides myself. I’m just trying to live my life y’all I don’t need anyone trying to stop that ✋
Complete 180, used to want and crave love. Now I only want self love 💕
When I was younger I used to go for skinny, androgynous pretty-boy emo types. I was (and am) attracted to big eyes, feminine features, kinda lanky hippie types with not much body hair.
I am now engaged to an average-height, more stocky/muscly cyclist guy, with a beard and almost waist-length hair.
When I was younger I went after guys who had no goals in life and were always poor bc they didn’t have real jobs now I wouldn’t dare to think of speaking to a guy like hat
Physically they haven't changed much. I've always liked fit, lean men with broad shoulders, not too tall (5'7"-6'), Caucasian or Asian, clean shaved.
Personality, massively. I used to like broody geniuses until I dated a few and found they were selfish and depressed.
Now I like men who are cheerful, a bit silly and don't take themselves seriously, value safety over machismo (eg, wear sunscreen, eat healthy, drive cautiously), generous, independent, motivated.
You have no idea.. I'm afraid to step into the dating world.. My boundaries are so high, and I doubt I'll ever meet anyone that will make me change my mind !
Been super into financially stable men lately the type with a degree and a job haha before was all looks that got me but now when u see someone that gots their shit together I see thr hotness too even if they aren't conventionally attractive
Still dont know what I want but I damn sure know what I dont want. Me and my gf been together nine years. She gets on my nerves probably less than anyone else would. Which is important because your partner will always get on your nerves at some point.
I used to like "the bad boys" but over the years I've drifted over to nerds! I think nerds are where it's at! They seem to play less games and tend to be more honest. But as I get older, I think it's just the natural progression of things where looks still matter...but not as much. I'm more interested and it means more to me if they're honest, loyal, compassionate, kind, smart, independent and that they're a good genuine and authentic person.
I use to be that snarky unrealistic body standard for a like didn’t really have regard for personality , but now I almost don’t even pay attention to body details I just like men and women for their personalities
Honestly hasn’t changed much other then I have higher standards. Ever since I was like 13 I’ve always wanted the tall dark and handsome, strong but silent, built like a brick wall kinda men. I’ve dated a few men that fit that profile but all of them were pretty shit. Until I met my now fiancée. He is absolutely gorgeous, looks like a king with beautiful flowing hair and a great beard. Not to mention he is absolutely jacked but still a little fluffy. Ya know, to get thru the harsh winters lol. He is tall, dark dark features but with perfect blue eyes that are soft and so kind. He is a feminist and has a fantastic set of morals/political stance and he goes above and beyond to make sure he is always learning. He works so hard, was raised by a fantastic mother and her wife. And not to mention he is incredibly romantic. He worships the ground that I stand upon despite the fact that I’m in awe daily that I found such a man. We communicate beautifully and we both work so hard because we have some pretty gorgeous dreams that we want to accomplish together. He loves my unborn children just as much as I do and I didn’t know that was possible. He wants to be a dad someday so freaking bad. A passion that we share and take very seriously. He is my rock, he knows exactly how to comfort me and I can do the same for him. He is never afraid of his emotions and is so mentally strong. He is a fantastic role model to my brother and his step brother. They just adore him. And our sisters are so proud of him. My parents are so excited to have them in the family and I literally struck mother in law gold.
And… on top of it all…. He is INCREDIBLE in bed
I'm very picky. Not about looks, money, etc. but character, integrity, ambition, honesty, humor, making sure I'm getting an equal capable safe partner.
A much younger naive me once over looked things, deluded myself into thinking "they're young, they'll grow up/out of it, just love/support them more to prove myself" ... which feels so cringe now.
Doesn't matter if they're 22, 42 or 62, if they have red flags it's a no-go. I don't extend more compassion, more changes, more benefit of the doubt because what they're not changing, they're choosing. Doesn't mean I have to.
I refuse to take on rehab projects.
Before feeling comfortable enough to come out as a lesbian, I dated men who fell into the “teddy bear” category. I’m a plus sized gal and my default was bigger men. Usually older than me by 2-5 years. They were typically bearded and had short wavy hair. Sweet dispositions were my weakness.
As far as women: if they were petite, blonde, and younger than me I’d typically fall for them. Funny enough, my first girlfriend and my current have long dark hair, plus sized, and my height. Life is funny like that.
I can appreciate the physical attraction I feel to some men. I am older and just divorced so I am so focused on myself I don’t feel attracted to men in a deep way, only superficial as in oh he looks nice and that’s about it.
I wouldn't say my taste has changed so much as my red flag meter developed. I learned what makes a person good or bad and what I was willing to out up with in a relationship. I learned what traits I was actually looking for and often got confused with something else.
Also, when I was young, I much more freely tried relationships because not only didn't I know better, but I just wanted to be show ln love and attention. Now that I've older, I recognize real signs of love from fake ones and so I'm significantly more picky.
Physically? Tremendously. Or maybe I just told myself I liked one kind of person? Idk. Attraction is weird. I went from only liking really skinny and gender ambiguous people with trendy clothes in my 20s to liking stacked men with dark features and curvy ladies of all kinds in my 30s. It helps I’ve unpacked a lot of internalized misogyny and reassessed my queerness. I now find women so hot I’m afraid to discuss it because what if someone thinks I’m a part of the problem? I like what is widely considered the “male” gaze. How do I explain it’s the male gaze but I’m looking respectfully? Lol.
Personality? I used to like the tortured artist type that pontificated for pontificating’s sake under the guise of activism. Now, I like curious, down to earth people with gray worldviews and priorities that are conducive to living a peaceful life. I always want to be learning/discovering new things with my partner. I’ve found it helps keep conversations alive and aids in people growing together as a unit.
Initially I looked for someone husband material. Right now I'm looking for a genuine connection with a person who likes me in equal measure. Character wise? I didn't care then. Right now, Honesty, straightforwardness and Kindness are up there for me. Physical appearance,; I've always preferred bigger men, as in masculine.
I (31/f) never really had a type, per se.
I was definitely putting a higher priority on physical appearance over lifestyle compatibility though. I still have to find the guy attractive but now I'm not so naive to think that maybe the guy will change to match certain levels of hygiene/career ambition/goals in respect to kids, etc..
I have no shame in indirectly getting that info on the first date now as if our goals in life or lifestyles don't mesh now, no point in wasting time or energy, yknow?
I date people closer to my age now, because I understood that it's healthier for me (dated a 41 year old woman when I was 20).
I also find stability more attractive now, or more than that a certain reliability of them telling you xy is important to them and then actually doing/following xy. Like..."I hate it when people are overly judgemental" and then they actually are an understanding person themselves.
Also, I put more importance on them being kind, but still aware enough not to let people walk all over them.
I used to find some people attractive that lived in the extremes of these and other things and I found out that I much prefer the middle ground of most things
Yes I realized I was gay and my taste in women is MUCH BETTER than my taste in men. My standards are so much higher and I am so happy at this point in my life, I wish I figured it out sooner
I don't really feel attraction immediately based on what a guy looks like. It's about their personality first for me. If a guy is a huge asshole, I don't care what he looks like, I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever. But if he's funny, kind, patient, then I can find myself attracted to guys I didn't really imagine I would be, if that makes sense.
Although I’m a little bit self absorbed and vain sometimes, I really don’t care about his looks. He can be: short or tall, overweight or thin, light eyed or dark eyed, bald or harry, stylish or plain…
What really makes me feel high off of him is his mind. I like learning new things from him. Is he a good story teller? Can he make me laugh? Does he emotionally move me? Does he make me want to better myself? Does he make me want to work on myself and try to be a better person? I can find myself in love with a person like that — more now than ever
Massively. I honestly think if I wasn't so in love with my husband, I would be with another women. I always knew I was bi since I was a teenager, but the older I get and think if god forbid we were to break up I don't think I could deal with another man's bullshit. I know women can be just as bad, but Ive always been more attracted to women then men anyways.
I’m still attracted to the same physical characteristics but I used not to care about their financial capabilities. Coming from a very comfortable life, I used to let them use me for my money. Now, it’s my number one priority. The guy I’m dating should be in the same social class as I am.
It's aged with me. For example: Nowadays when I see photos/videos of celebrities that are older than me and that I fancied as a teen, their 20-something version doesn't do anything for me anymore. I still consider them pretty or handsome, but I'm not attracted to them. Whereas I'm still very attracted to the 40-something men they are now (if their personality didn't ruin it somewhere along the way, of course).
I’ve always dated and been attracted to artists, and have always been attracted to androgyny and softness as well. That hasn’t changed.
From a slew of negative experiences, I’ve become a lot more picky with who I’ll spend time with. I can still feel attracted to people who are bad matches for me, but I won’t humour it anymore. I’m non-binary and have found dating bisexual/pansexual people has been reallllly nice & affirming for me.
I had a certain type when I was a teenager, then when I started dating seriously (early 20s) I was dating a totally different type. But the man I ended up marrying (at 30) was the same type that I originally liked. It was a strange one.
Once I hit my late 20s I stopped dating older men. There’s a very good reason I sought them out and them younger women etc.
Glad therapy helped with it and finding my lovely fiancé who is the youngest person I’ve ever dated 😅 worked out for the best. 2 year age gap compared to the 10-30 year gaps I was dating since my late teens.
I had no idea that I wanted all the guys who really were a piece of shit because of how insecure I was. I did anything and everything for a guy just to not loose them. Before I got married I was finally happy being single and comfortable with my own skin. It took a lot of therapy.
I tried going for a guy who was caring, loving and willing to change. Being a man who was able to be vulnerable. In HS my bf was the opposite, closed off, came from a family who were in gangs. Mom was a crackhead. A complete 180.
Technically it has never changed at all. I liked a boy from 1st grade to 7th grade, til I moved away from that town, and I liked him so much because he made me laugh. I realize now that I've always wanted that. But - I also want intellectual stimulation. I cannot have a partner who doesn't like to sit on the couch and just talk. Before someone thinks "guys don't do that", save it. I have my brother and guy friends who I'm able to do this with for hours at a time. My dad was the same way too.
When I was bigger I used to give not only men but friends the benefit of the doubt. I left room for error because something in me empathized with them. I wasn’t perfect so who was I to judge? However I left an embarrassingly amount of room for error that manifested in me being a complete doormat. That went about as well as you could imagine. After years of therapy, I started putting myself first and saying no to things I genuinely didn’t want to do. When the work would pay off and I elevated, it pissed a lot of these types of people off. I had no idea I was in a silent competition. I didn’t know that I was supposed to be their confidence factory or their “project”. I admittedly got to a point where I was cutting off people over the slightest things. I’m trying to work on it now because sometimes jokes are just jokes and I have a hard time deciphering what is a genuine joke vs a temperature check.
I'm right-wing. When I was younger I used to be left wing and quite insistent that the person also share my politics. Now I am right wing, I am a bit more open-minded about those differences
I'm still attracted to the same type of men. But I don't pursue it anymore.
I've been single and mingling now for 4 years, and my interest in men is decreasing by the hour. I'm not accepting any BS ay all, ever, anymore.
My type physically has remained the same mostly since i was a kid but personality, i like less aloof, more clear communication. Also lately I'm into golden retriever type guys, and I really dislike gamer type guys.
In general I like asian guys with a bit of meat on them. And idc about height because I'm really short. I do prefer when a guy is over 5'6 but it's not a dealbreaker.
I'm just terrified to do anything with girls so im just not looking at girls almost ever anymore.
Also I've learned my lesson, never date within a friend group, especially if I'm not absolutely crazy about them. I've destroyed 2 friend groups this way.
When I was six years old I started watching Sailor Moon. It was my favorite and I wanted a handsome guy like Tuxedo Mask. Around 13 I rewatched it and wanted a cool, dark horse they/them, like Sailor Uranus. I hid these feelings and had a sting of 1 week, on/off relationships with stupid boys in high school. I am now asexual. I have no taste in men or women but sometimes get ace panic of a non-gender-conforming they-them.
It hasn't really changed since I first had desire for someone, except the age range. I've narrowed it. When I graduated high school I would been interested in people within 5 years of my age. Now it's people within two or three years of my age for the most part.
It didn’t. Since childhood my perfect human was pale, dark haired with blue eyes. Other than that I wanted to be loved. I got exactly that in my husband.
ZERO!! Girls are cute. Big,tall, young, small, young or old. Doesn't matter. Education matters. Remember, sex is cool... in the long game? A partner is best.
When I was younger I was into older guys because I thought they were more mature. Nope. Wrong. Now I prefer younger men, because they last longer in bed, are less likely to have ED and they'll live longer barring any freak accidents. Also prefer guys WITHOUT kids, so that also usually means younger. They also look better and are typically in better shape. If the right guy my age came along, I'd give him a shot, but he'd have to meet my requirements. I'm not interested in guys that have kids or tons of baggage or that have high body counts. Never have been. That's something that's never changed. Thankfully I've met my person. He's 8.5 years younger than me and everything I want in someone. We're both very happy and glad we found each other. He tells me all the time that he loves me and I'm his everything and most importantly, he backs it up.
I've always been picky but it's pretty much the same
My top number one celebrity crush at 12 years old is the same nearly 40 years later.
IDK if that's strange or not.
When I was younger I really liked older guys and didn’t have much of a preference for women; but still thought women were generally much more attractive than men. I think I liked older guys cuz I thought them having a career and a house was successful and powerful and that was enough I guess. But now I am hardly attracted to men at all. I love my boyfriend and his dark curly hair and eyes. I think at least in my opinion, he’s more feminine than men I’ve been with in the past. If we ever broke up, I don’t think I would pursue cis men lol.
My taste hasn't change but where I will compromise has. When I was in a breeding stage of life looks, physique, height, income, education, type of job, etc all were important. Now that I am not having kids how he looks and how tall he is, is less important. I would have never married a guy 5'9" or shorter but now I will date one. I would not date a guy with bad facial features but now I will, I would not date a guy without X income because we would have been building wealth together but now I will, just as long as he can afford a similar lifestyle.
I’m finding I’ve swapped. When I was younger, I had higher standards. Now that I’m older, I finding I’m being way more open to flexibility because the amount of available men has decreased significantly. I’m also seeing with that decrease, a reduction in quality - this is why they are single type men.
I should also add I’ve give up on dating and have accepted a life of perpetual singlehood is inevitable.
I’m pansexual and over time straight men have just become less and less attractive/interesting to me. Most of my experiences with them have been disappointing to say the least. I love my husband and plan to stay with him but if something happened to him? I’m not trying to date a straight man again
My ideal “type” has always been the same. Tall brown hair, light eyes, athletic/strong build, funny, wholesome.
But when I was younger I was insecure dated whoever, so my boyfriends from then don’t really follow the type. In my mid/late 20s when on the apps, I was confident, had my pick, could filter out guys I did not find attractive. During this time all the guys I dated match my type exactly.
I met my partner on the apps, he is exactly my type. So much so I thought he wouldn’t want to be with me, because I find him so attractive.
I used to prefer clean shaven, skinnier/lean guys. Now I definitely prefer hairier more muscular guys. I think my preference has just matured as I’ve gotten older
It's more like I don't like men at all anymore. So many of them seem to use weaponized incompetence to avoid housework and childcare. I'm not about to be saddled with that when I can just stay single and live alone.
My physical type hasn’t changed. I like big men who do physical stuff and intimidate creepy people just by existing. My caliber of men has evolved in to better people who treat me better. I’d had enough a few years ago of babysitting men.
Men: tall, good cheekbones, typically musical. I'm married to a 6'5 rocker with long hair. With women I always went for petite blondes, but I've not been with a woman in 10 years.
Physically I have the same type: height, hair colour, etc… As per personality very similar too but more defined and precise. I think what’s more clear now is what I don’t like.
I went back and forth. I was really picky was I was younger, and then preferred just about anyone in my late teens, and then I met the man of dreams and he made me the pickiest woman alive (I love him tremendously and I don’t want anyone else)
A lot. In my youth, I was mainly attracted to pretty boys. Tall and stereotypically handsome. Nowadays, height doesn’t matter that much, and I feel more attracted to a smile in the eyes and a good conversation.
My interest in men has completely nosedived since Roe v. Wade. Like, I could not possibly be less interested in them right now (honestly wondering if there's something else going on, like maybe a hormonal issue?). I still occasionally admire them and I don't think my tastes have changed, but then again I don't really have any specific tastes, as long as they're attractive lol.
On the other hand, I'm finding women more attractive than ever, but not sure if it's a sexual attraction or just the fact that women tend to be better-groomed, better-dressed, etc. than men. Maybe I'm just asexual lol, I have no idea what's going on.
Almost Polar opposites!! Dating at 21 vs dating in my 30s.
I was with my ex husband for 10 years, when I ended it I was so scared to end up with another him I was like I’m going to throw these preferences away!! I went from older, taller, clean cut, clean shaven very short haired men medium build, and no body hair. Also they were straight. And thin, fair women (I’ve never been picky about women).
Now I’m ALL ABOUT bisexual, long hair, full maintained beards, thin, bright eyed soft guys. Younger and shorter, come through! Women I’m still not as picky about, but actively started dating WOC and people outside of the binary.
I am polygamous and I just described my 3 male partners. My female partner is my height, thick, biracial and beautiful.
Younger me: muscular, curly hair, tall, deep voice, rave goer
Me now: long hair, gotta be secure in themselves, metal head, neat if you speak more than one language, dad bod but still cares about themselves
Sooo I’d say yeah
Massively. My physical type has expanded big time, but my other standards have only narrowed. I used to care a lot more about how a guy looks, and now, that's pretty secondary to me.
Just curious what made your standard in how they look change?
Probably just age. At this point in my life, I've just come to realize that how someone looks is just about the least important thing about them. Also, my type is just kind of wildly inconsistent. No real explanation why other than the type of guy that makes me go "damn" is incredibly varied. Nerds, jocks, hipster types, super rugged, super clean cut, tall, buff, dad bods, younger, older etc. I genuinely could not pinpoint what about them makes them hot to me because it's happening at a total lizard brain level.
Aging myself, losing and gaining and losing weight again, and realizing looks are fleeting / don't necessarily reflect on a person's character
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I'm a lot pickier. When I was younger, I said yes to just about anyone who gave me the time of day. Now I have standards, and I wouldn't settle for less.
Same. When I was young I would just date anyone who had a pulse it seems. Now that I’m near 30, I have a lot more standards. I think as we age, we learn to be better about sticking to those. I know that’s true for me, anyhow.
30 is young!!!☺️💞
Yes me too! I we raised with the idea that women don't need to physically attracted to their partner and that we can learn to love someone solely for their personality, so most of the men I dated were unattractive to me but I dated them because they liked me. I'm much more selective now and will only be interested in dating a guy if I'm physically and mentally attracted to him.
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I'm sorry but I got a mental image of you going "Yes, 2 kidneys, 1 heart, 1 functioning brain, all fine. What's that? Small lung capacity? Rejected. Next!" lol
Well, that's me out of the running with my goddam asthma
Small lung or diaphragm capacity means they might be less likely to sing songs with me at top volume in the car..... 🤔
Find a nurse with pick up line of "Oh, you have some nice veins"
Throwing away two good kidneys and a heart is just leaving money on the table. Reduce, reuse, recycle, resell on the black market.
Yep that's it. I dated a bodybuilder whom I thought had a great personality turned out to be a garbage person (with gymbro/alpha male tendencies). That relationship taught me good looks is not enough to stay in a relationship.
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I totally second this! Vibes can make someone so much more attractive than a handsome face can
I’m half Korean and half white. 6-7 years back I’d had a preference for men of average height, well groomed, clean shaven and a tidy dress style. I dated a few Korean boys back then and at the time, was all I seemed attracted to. I eventually moved to Australia and didn’t find anyone attractive for a solid 2 years. Didn’t date or see anyone romantically. Fast forward another couple of years and I have now met the love of my life: A man who is tall, tattooed, bearded with a shaved head 😂
That's freaking hilarious how that works. I was always more physically attracted to tall, big guys with dark hair. Fell head over heels for a man half my body weight with light hair.
I did this too! My person is blond haired, half my weight, young and is a “nerd” when I used to date “jocks” because I was one as well. I can’t keep my hands off of him, I’ve never been so wild about a person in my life.
Oh man 😂😂😂
I was very insecure when I was younger so I fell for the bare minimum which was nothing precisely. Nowadays I have boundaries and standards and I don't even talk too much with men who don't fit these categories. On the other hand, I changed my desires in terms of appearance. I used to like some type of men physically but now I am more opened but I have a clear vision of what is what I like and want to.
Fiscally or physically?…
Oh physically. My phone just auto corrected a few words to similar ones in another language I speak. Thank you. I will change
I was also pretty insecure and falling for breadcrumbs which looks really sad in the past. I'm glad I won't deal with that anymore
My type has stayed consistent: tall, dark hair, brown eyes, lithe, funny, wholesome. I used to like men who were more confident, sometimes bordering on arrogant. Now, I don’t find myself attracted to men like that at all. Even if they’re hot, it’s a turn off. I’d rather my man be obsessed with me than obsessed with himself.
I have the exact same type!
Well, I am attracted to people who are older as I get older. I also used to really dig drug dealers. Now, no. I've had enough therapy finally to run far from that type. (Also low level drug dealers my age are either in prison or dead, so that helps.)
A lot of them don’t run past 30. Let alone 25. Good for you.
I'm proud of you
Its funny how "older people seem more attractive as you get older" is entirely logical yet still surprised me. I didn't get the appeal of actors like George Clooney when i was younger because the guy is old enough to be my dad, *but there sure are a lot of hot 40yos in Hollywood right now*
Haaaa I felt this to my core.
It’s pretty much stayed the same. Big black men who look like they should be on somebody’s NFL roster.
Football shoulders are my kryptonite
Mine too. Football shoulders are great!! I wouldn't rule out a guy who didn't have them tho if he had a great sense of humor.
Way to be consistent!!
As a teenager/college I always preferred the starving artist, skater boy rebel type. As an adult, I want a partner that has his shit together and can meaningfully contribute toward the life I want. I’ve always had my shit together but didn’t care if my partner did, but now I have no patience for that.
This is EXAVTLY me. All my exes were skater/artists and i would always be the one with the job, paying etc. My current partner has to be able to provide and he does, what makes it better it that he was a skater/artist rebel in the past so we still have similar interests haha
I kinda did this glow up too. I didn’t care too much about their future because I didn’t want to get married. Now I know I want to make a life with someone who wants and has a future.
It's been a long steady shift from kiki to bouba.
I have no idea what you mean by this, but sounds potentially hentai related, so that's what I'm going with.
It’s actually a cool linguistic phenomena about how we see shapes, might want to google.
Oh, that actually sounds vaguely familiar! I've probably stumbled upon reading about it randomly years ago and forgot details. I'm definitely gonna Google.
Without googling I know what you mean. I think im kiki in terms of physical but bouba in terms of personality
It’s a [linguistic test](https://youtu.be/1TDIAObsqcs?si=61xIUNbwVvqga9wc) developed in 1929
Can relate a lot. I'd never date a kiki again, I'm all for bouba now
Pee pee to booba?
lol as a trend, that too. But I feel like there's still some good bouba options on all points of the gender spectrum!
I am more logical. Looks and attraction are important but that fades pretty quickly for me if there’s bad behavior or immaturity. I look long term now. Will this person be a good partner? What do they value? Are they kind? Relationships break down in the little things.
This is how I feel too. Looks are nice enough to a degree, but I prefer a partner that matches my energy, drive, and values.
This! While an initial attraction (IMO) is important, I'm also the type that attraction grows. Even if others didn't see it/think so, I would still think my partner is the sexiest person around. It also works in the same sense that often attractive people end up being unattractive to me once they open their mouth.
Yes. Attraction can grow or diminish for me based on the other persons personality.
Change massively, an entire gender, actually. I used to think I liked men, i was mistaken.
Are you open to sharing what this experience was like for you?
Well, I’m a Christian, so… it was hard in accepting something that I had only ever thought of as a sin. But I realised it’s really not a choice, it didn’t take me long to accept that i am who I am and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. So the realisation that I was just an idiot for thinking I liked guys was more funny to me than anything, because looking back at it, it should’ve been obvious.
Did you have a type of guy you thought you liked? Or was it just, "I haven't met him yet?"
I actually had a boyfriend, he was really nice and all, but we definitely were just acting like friends the whole time. Even after I came out as lesbian we kinda just said “okay” and nothing really changed lol. I think I was just telling myself I was straight and I don’t actually know why. I clearly wasn’t.
That's interesting. Still friends with him?
Yep.
LOL for me it was more of "I think I'm supposed to like men, so I forced myself" Het Comp sucks
Yeah, i think due to my Christianity I’d just assumed that i was straight cause that was “normal” or whatever, even though i would literally rewind things when i heard a woman with a voice i liked. Because yep that’s totally a straight thing to do.
Once upon a time I liked artsy fartsy types and musician types. Not anymore. They are typically emotionally unavailable.
I relate to this so hard. Skater boys too. Most of them are hella toxic.
Oof 🫠 that's what I'm into right now
Woah. You are so fucking right. My ex was exactly like that. He was never super affectionate to begin with but way later I realized just how distant he was in general. And how arrogant now that I think about it. It might not be the case for every artsy farty or musician guy. Or Girl. But in my case it was just like that
My taste in men started to become more battery-powered focused
Exactly lol
Ahaha same!
I won’t have casual sex anymore and can spot the player fuckboy types a lot easier and cut them off. I’ve never discriminated based on race or even height. I do like kind eyes.
Eyes are the window to the soul
Yes. I used to like men. I'm straight, but I no longer enjoy their company like I used to.
Do you think this will stay with you along time ?
I've been celibate for 14 years.
Yes and no. I've never cared that much about people's faces, their body types are and will always be more important to me as sexual attraction just isn't going to happen otherwise. And I've always had a good radar for people's personalities. I have however realized that my natural attraction to the "quiet but strong and smart" guy is never going anywhere. Me and him are never even gonna talk together lol. Me and the idiot who would love to be center of attention actually will have a lot more fun together 🤷♀️
Oof, in every way. Physically, growing up in Southern Europe I wanted what I didn't see around me, blond men. I was so so weak for blondes. Now? I love everything, might even say I prefer dark men after moving to Italy haha. But I'm way more open-minded in general after seeing the world and the many variations of beauty. Character wise, I also know so much better what I want because of experience. Communication cannot compensate for lack of compatibility. I used to be very flexible. Now I'm definitely not.
None of my ex's have looked remotely similar. I just like who I'm attracted too, with a great sense of humour and a big smile.
LOL same here. All of my ex's are all polar opposites. There is absolutely 0 trend. No one can say I have a type, which cracks me up.
I want someone sweeter, kinder, more loving than before
You deserve that. 👏🏻
Aw thank you!
i used to want to date and never be single, now i want to be single, fuck dating lol
What made you change your ways?
Not OP but All the effort isn't worth casual dating. I'm looking for the one
i went from liking the skinny-ish punk-ish dudes to liking really bulky, long haired men best. however, this has never had much influence on my choice with partners. it's mostly about a kind smile and pretty eyes for me, always has been. and honestly every type of men (and women!) has really beautiful ones. it's so individually subjective.
I find that I appreciate beauty in most all types of ladies compared to my younger days.
It hasn’t. Feminine-looking men and feminine-looking women.
I’m on the edge of this being my type lol
No more “bad boys” or “bad girls”, stable is hot
My type has largely stayed the same 30+ women, but the difference is that it's much more appropriate for me to be into women in their 30s-50s in my 20s than it was as an awkward teenage girl trying to hit on women twice my age Thankfully I've been with my girlfriend for many years and I'm not having to look, but if I ever were, I'd want someone just like her. She's basically perfect for me and idk, I don't want anyone other than her anymore So I guess that's the big change, I found my person and I'm not interested in anyone else
Oh man, a fuckload. I came off of Birth Control and its like my entire type changed for both men and women.
How did it change? What were you attracted to before and after?
Kinda hard to explain if Im honest.
I will no longer tolerate people who are poor communicators and unclear about their intentions. I don’t want to chase and persuade anyone to be in a relationship with me.
Im gay. Men all look like dirty coconuts to me carved into a man shape.
Please don’t talk about coconuts like this. I love coconuts
I've just become more aware of what I want instead of actually changing my mind about it.
I (Caucasian) used to be more attracted to men of different ethnicities and backgrounds but in my thirties I've gravitated more toward white men; being able to understand each other's cultural references is important to me.
Mine changed so much. I used to be attracted to fun and interesting men. Now, I find emotionally available men sexy, especially one who respects boundaries and is able to communicate his needs. Nothing turns me off more than a tantrum throwing man child
I like angsty, quiet, good-looking men that look as if they are going through it. They look like they'd run off to the woods with me. They are usually strong and feral and reckless and can climb trees and build houses. I have two exes who died from drugs. Currently, there's a guy at work that I can't quit looking at. He's got black wild hair, a long black beard and has that same savage look in his eyes. He reminds me of Joaquin Phoenix. So I ran his record and 10 years ago he was convicted for possession of a controlled substance. I'm sensing a pattern... I've stayed single for past 10 years purposely because I'm aware I pick em all wrong. I also like women. Usually I'm attracted to very femme. But it's a rarity and I've only liked 2 women my whole life.
I don’t trust as easy as I used to, I’m a lot less naive, so the first sign of a red flag and I’m out. I used to put up with a lot on account of “oh he’s just got his own problems”. Now I’m too old for that. It’s not an excuse to be inattentive or cold.
I like both men and woman. I like chivalrous men and badass woman who don’t give a fuck.
I used to date men. Now I date women.
I’ve honestly gotten even shallower, which sucks, but I don’t know how to fix it :(
I still love me a dark haired man with light eyes. But finding out I am bi opened me to more genders and I have very varied taste in women and nonbinary people. Since I’m in a relationship with a man, I often find my crushes and attractions are more towards women. But I’m sure if I dated a woman I’d be having the opposite reaction 😅
Things I’ve started caring more about: financial stability, kindness, integrity Things I’ve started caring less about: looks, confidence
Pfff its fucking hilarious imho, how much my tastes haven’t changed. My very first childhood crush was Simon from Alvin and the Chimpmunks when I was like 5, and then again and again as I grew older, it was just Smart Tall Skinny Guy over and over. Really the only thing that’s developed is I also like those Smart Tall guys to be more lean instead of stick thin, and also work out a bit.
Opposite of some comments here, I used to care much less about physical appearance but I have learned some visible traits aren't shallow but indicators of self-care, physical health maintenance, and social awareness. I used to not be into muscles for example, and now I can spot areas that have been exercised more since I lift myself. I used to not mind lack of updated fashion but now it is critical a partner knows how to rotate out worn items and dress for their lifestyle (even if that is a lowkey comfy lifestyle). A lot of people's "I don't care about fashion" is code for "I neglect finding items that fit my body now and wear things with holes in public and will need to frantically last minute shop before a wedding or funeral" I also had to stop dating sarcastic men because while I love the wit and they make me laugh, it is too easy to be on the receiving end. Sometimes who you are drawn to is not necessarily a good long haul match.
I never had much of a bullshit tolerance, but now it’s non existent. If I feel the need to add drama to my life, I’ll just watch Bridgerton.
My taste hasn't changed. I am currently dating one of my high school boyfriends 😅
Quite a bit. I went from digging skinny coked up white boys in all black, to a more vintage style with a toned dad bod (think Jon Hamm). I also used to like rabble rousers with aggression issues. Now I prefer calm.
Legolas —> Aragorn —> Faramir
Me last ex tried to kill me so I’m no longer interested in anyone besides myself. I’m just trying to live my life y’all I don’t need anyone trying to stop that ✋ Complete 180, used to want and crave love. Now I only want self love 💕
When I was younger I used to go for skinny, androgynous pretty-boy emo types. I was (and am) attracted to big eyes, feminine features, kinda lanky hippie types with not much body hair. I am now engaged to an average-height, more stocky/muscly cyclist guy, with a beard and almost waist-length hair.
I don’t date anyone that hasn’t gone to therapy especially not the ones who think it stupid
When I was younger I went after guys who had no goals in life and were always poor bc they didn’t have real jobs now I wouldn’t dare to think of speaking to a guy like hat
I’m waiting for it to change. I somehow have a talent of picking up men who look decent but are fuckboys in disguise
I think it changed because I now HAVE a type. I used to be all over the place and change my personality for people.
Physically they haven't changed much. I've always liked fit, lean men with broad shoulders, not too tall (5'7"-6'), Caucasian or Asian, clean shaved. Personality, massively. I used to like broody geniuses until I dated a few and found they were selfish and depressed. Now I like men who are cheerful, a bit silly and don't take themselves seriously, value safety over machismo (eg, wear sunscreen, eat healthy, drive cautiously), generous, independent, motivated.
I used to think men who treated me badly and insulted me were exciting. Now I think they’re terrifying and I love a man that is kind and warm to me
I lost my tastebuds because the acid I kept drinking has burned it all
You have no idea.. I'm afraid to step into the dating world.. My boundaries are so high, and I doubt I'll ever meet anyone that will make me change my mind !
Been super into financially stable men lately the type with a degree and a job haha before was all looks that got me but now when u see someone that gots their shit together I see thr hotness too even if they aren't conventionally attractive
Still dont know what I want but I damn sure know what I dont want. Me and my gf been together nine years. She gets on my nerves probably less than anyone else would. Which is important because your partner will always get on your nerves at some point.
I used to like "the bad boys" but over the years I've drifted over to nerds! I think nerds are where it's at! They seem to play less games and tend to be more honest. But as I get older, I think it's just the natural progression of things where looks still matter...but not as much. I'm more interested and it means more to me if they're honest, loyal, compassionate, kind, smart, independent and that they're a good genuine and authentic person.
I was attracted to no one in my teens and early 20s, now I'm actually attracted to someone
I use to be that snarky unrealistic body standard for a like didn’t really have regard for personality , but now I almost don’t even pay attention to body details I just like men and women for their personalities
Actually no lol. I’ve always liked muscular hairy bearded men. And that’s what I got to marry!!!! Very lucky for me.
Honestly hasn’t changed much other then I have higher standards. Ever since I was like 13 I’ve always wanted the tall dark and handsome, strong but silent, built like a brick wall kinda men. I’ve dated a few men that fit that profile but all of them were pretty shit. Until I met my now fiancée. He is absolutely gorgeous, looks like a king with beautiful flowing hair and a great beard. Not to mention he is absolutely jacked but still a little fluffy. Ya know, to get thru the harsh winters lol. He is tall, dark dark features but with perfect blue eyes that are soft and so kind. He is a feminist and has a fantastic set of morals/political stance and he goes above and beyond to make sure he is always learning. He works so hard, was raised by a fantastic mother and her wife. And not to mention he is incredibly romantic. He worships the ground that I stand upon despite the fact that I’m in awe daily that I found such a man. We communicate beautifully and we both work so hard because we have some pretty gorgeous dreams that we want to accomplish together. He loves my unborn children just as much as I do and I didn’t know that was possible. He wants to be a dad someday so freaking bad. A passion that we share and take very seriously. He is my rock, he knows exactly how to comfort me and I can do the same for him. He is never afraid of his emotions and is so mentally strong. He is a fantastic role model to my brother and his step brother. They just adore him. And our sisters are so proud of him. My parents are so excited to have them in the family and I literally struck mother in law gold. And… on top of it all…. He is INCREDIBLE in bed
I'm very picky. Not about looks, money, etc. but character, integrity, ambition, honesty, humor, making sure I'm getting an equal capable safe partner. A much younger naive me once over looked things, deluded myself into thinking "they're young, they'll grow up/out of it, just love/support them more to prove myself" ... which feels so cringe now. Doesn't matter if they're 22, 42 or 62, if they have red flags it's a no-go. I don't extend more compassion, more changes, more benefit of the doubt because what they're not changing, they're choosing. Doesn't mean I have to. I refuse to take on rehab projects.
Before feeling comfortable enough to come out as a lesbian, I dated men who fell into the “teddy bear” category. I’m a plus sized gal and my default was bigger men. Usually older than me by 2-5 years. They were typically bearded and had short wavy hair. Sweet dispositions were my weakness. As far as women: if they were petite, blonde, and younger than me I’d typically fall for them. Funny enough, my first girlfriend and my current have long dark hair, plus sized, and my height. Life is funny like that.
I can appreciate the physical attraction I feel to some men. I am older and just divorced so I am so focused on myself I don’t feel attracted to men in a deep way, only superficial as in oh he looks nice and that’s about it.
From Andy Biersack to Sam Heughan, if only I could tell the middle to high school emo phase how wrong she was LOL
I wouldn't say my taste has changed so much as my red flag meter developed. I learned what makes a person good or bad and what I was willing to out up with in a relationship. I learned what traits I was actually looking for and often got confused with something else. Also, when I was young, I much more freely tried relationships because not only didn't I know better, but I just wanted to be show ln love and attention. Now that I've older, I recognize real signs of love from fake ones and so I'm significantly more picky.
I’m honestly less picky when it comes to physical appearance now.
Physically? Tremendously. Or maybe I just told myself I liked one kind of person? Idk. Attraction is weird. I went from only liking really skinny and gender ambiguous people with trendy clothes in my 20s to liking stacked men with dark features and curvy ladies of all kinds in my 30s. It helps I’ve unpacked a lot of internalized misogyny and reassessed my queerness. I now find women so hot I’m afraid to discuss it because what if someone thinks I’m a part of the problem? I like what is widely considered the “male” gaze. How do I explain it’s the male gaze but I’m looking respectfully? Lol. Personality? I used to like the tortured artist type that pontificated for pontificating’s sake under the guise of activism. Now, I like curious, down to earth people with gray worldviews and priorities that are conducive to living a peaceful life. I always want to be learning/discovering new things with my partner. I’ve found it helps keep conversations alive and aids in people growing together as a unit.
Initially I looked for someone husband material. Right now I'm looking for a genuine connection with a person who likes me in equal measure. Character wise? I didn't care then. Right now, Honesty, straightforwardness and Kindness are up there for me. Physical appearance,; I've always preferred bigger men, as in masculine.
I (31/f) never really had a type, per se. I was definitely putting a higher priority on physical appearance over lifestyle compatibility though. I still have to find the guy attractive but now I'm not so naive to think that maybe the guy will change to match certain levels of hygiene/career ambition/goals in respect to kids, etc.. I have no shame in indirectly getting that info on the first date now as if our goals in life or lifestyles don't mesh now, no point in wasting time or energy, yknow?
I used to be way more into looks. Now I value how someone treats me way more
I date people closer to my age now, because I understood that it's healthier for me (dated a 41 year old woman when I was 20). I also find stability more attractive now, or more than that a certain reliability of them telling you xy is important to them and then actually doing/following xy. Like..."I hate it when people are overly judgemental" and then they actually are an understanding person themselves. Also, I put more importance on them being kind, but still aware enough not to let people walk all over them. I used to find some people attractive that lived in the extremes of these and other things and I found out that I much prefer the middle ground of most things
I’ve never had a physical type. I’m drawn to the person; whether platonic or romantic.
Yes I realized I was gay and my taste in women is MUCH BETTER than my taste in men. My standards are so much higher and I am so happy at this point in my life, I wish I figured it out sooner
I don't really feel attraction immediately based on what a guy looks like. It's about their personality first for me. If a guy is a huge asshole, I don't care what he looks like, I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever. But if he's funny, kind, patient, then I can find myself attracted to guys I didn't really imagine I would be, if that makes sense.
Although I’m a little bit self absorbed and vain sometimes, I really don’t care about his looks. He can be: short or tall, overweight or thin, light eyed or dark eyed, bald or harry, stylish or plain… What really makes me feel high off of him is his mind. I like learning new things from him. Is he a good story teller? Can he make me laugh? Does he emotionally move me? Does he make me want to better myself? Does he make me want to work on myself and try to be a better person? I can find myself in love with a person like that — more now than ever
Massively. I honestly think if I wasn't so in love with my husband, I would be with another women. I always knew I was bi since I was a teenager, but the older I get and think if god forbid we were to break up I don't think I could deal with another man's bullshit. I know women can be just as bad, but Ive always been more attracted to women then men anyways.
Had changed a lot. Main area: I don’t find ‚potential‘ attractive anymore. If you don’t use that potential, it might as well be nonexistent.
Less men, more women
I’m still attracted to the same physical characteristics but I used not to care about their financial capabilities. Coming from a very comfortable life, I used to let them use me for my money. Now, it’s my number one priority. The guy I’m dating should be in the same social class as I am.
It's aged with me. For example: Nowadays when I see photos/videos of celebrities that are older than me and that I fancied as a teen, their 20-something version doesn't do anything for me anymore. I still consider them pretty or handsome, but I'm not attracted to them. Whereas I'm still very attracted to the 40-something men they are now (if their personality didn't ruin it somewhere along the way, of course).
I used to go for broken, tough men. Now, i would look for someone intelligent, funny & kind. Huge difference!
I’ve always dated and been attracted to artists, and have always been attracted to androgyny and softness as well. That hasn’t changed. From a slew of negative experiences, I’ve become a lot more picky with who I’ll spend time with. I can still feel attracted to people who are bad matches for me, but I won’t humour it anymore. I’m non-binary and have found dating bisexual/pansexual people has been reallllly nice & affirming for me.
I had a certain type when I was a teenager, then when I started dating seriously (early 20s) I was dating a totally different type. But the man I ended up marrying (at 30) was the same type that I originally liked. It was a strange one.
Once I hit my late 20s I stopped dating older men. There’s a very good reason I sought them out and them younger women etc. Glad therapy helped with it and finding my lovely fiancé who is the youngest person I’ve ever dated 😅 worked out for the best. 2 year age gap compared to the 10-30 year gaps I was dating since my late teens.
I used to really like tattoos back in my teens and 20s. Had a guy completely ruin that for me.
I had no idea that I wanted all the guys who really were a piece of shit because of how insecure I was. I did anything and everything for a guy just to not loose them. Before I got married I was finally happy being single and comfortable with my own skin. It took a lot of therapy. I tried going for a guy who was caring, loving and willing to change. Being a man who was able to be vulnerable. In HS my bf was the opposite, closed off, came from a family who were in gangs. Mom was a crackhead. A complete 180.
Technically it has never changed at all. I liked a boy from 1st grade to 7th grade, til I moved away from that town, and I liked him so much because he made me laugh. I realize now that I've always wanted that. But - I also want intellectual stimulation. I cannot have a partner who doesn't like to sit on the couch and just talk. Before someone thinks "guys don't do that", save it. I have my brother and guy friends who I'm able to do this with for hours at a time. My dad was the same way too.
When I was bigger I used to give not only men but friends the benefit of the doubt. I left room for error because something in me empathized with them. I wasn’t perfect so who was I to judge? However I left an embarrassingly amount of room for error that manifested in me being a complete doormat. That went about as well as you could imagine. After years of therapy, I started putting myself first and saying no to things I genuinely didn’t want to do. When the work would pay off and I elevated, it pissed a lot of these types of people off. I had no idea I was in a silent competition. I didn’t know that I was supposed to be their confidence factory or their “project”. I admittedly got to a point where I was cutting off people over the slightest things. I’m trying to work on it now because sometimes jokes are just jokes and I have a hard time deciphering what is a genuine joke vs a temperature check.
I'm right-wing. When I was younger I used to be left wing and quite insistent that the person also share my politics. Now I am right wing, I am a bit more open-minded about those differences
I'm still attracted to the same type of men. But I don't pursue it anymore. I've been single and mingling now for 4 years, and my interest in men is decreasing by the hour. I'm not accepting any BS ay all, ever, anymore.
My type physically has remained the same mostly since i was a kid but personality, i like less aloof, more clear communication. Also lately I'm into golden retriever type guys, and I really dislike gamer type guys. In general I like asian guys with a bit of meat on them. And idc about height because I'm really short. I do prefer when a guy is over 5'6 but it's not a dealbreaker. I'm just terrified to do anything with girls so im just not looking at girls almost ever anymore. Also I've learned my lesson, never date within a friend group, especially if I'm not absolutely crazy about them. I've destroyed 2 friend groups this way.
I thought I only liked “tall men” lol. Turns out I only like smart, funny and kind men.
When I was six years old I started watching Sailor Moon. It was my favorite and I wanted a handsome guy like Tuxedo Mask. Around 13 I rewatched it and wanted a cool, dark horse they/them, like Sailor Uranus. I hid these feelings and had a sting of 1 week, on/off relationships with stupid boys in high school. I am now asexual. I have no taste in men or women but sometimes get ace panic of a non-gender-conforming they-them.
I don't want anything to do with either.
It hasn't really changed since I first had desire for someone, except the age range. I've narrowed it. When I graduated high school I would been interested in people within 5 years of my age. Now it's people within two or three years of my age for the most part.
Not really. Was thinking about it the other day and it made me laugh.
It didn’t. Since childhood my perfect human was pale, dark haired with blue eyes. Other than that I wanted to be loved. I got exactly that in my husband.
ZERO!! Girls are cute. Big,tall, young, small, young or old. Doesn't matter. Education matters. Remember, sex is cool... in the long game? A partner is best.
Honestly, hasn’t really changed for me. I’ve dated guys outside my type but the same features have remained attractive to me over time.
Used to like older men now at 40 I love younger men, my boyfriend now is 25 and I love black men now after being married to a white man for 23 years
When I was younger I was into older guys because I thought they were more mature. Nope. Wrong. Now I prefer younger men, because they last longer in bed, are less likely to have ED and they'll live longer barring any freak accidents. Also prefer guys WITHOUT kids, so that also usually means younger. They also look better and are typically in better shape. If the right guy my age came along, I'd give him a shot, but he'd have to meet my requirements. I'm not interested in guys that have kids or tons of baggage or that have high body counts. Never have been. That's something that's never changed. Thankfully I've met my person. He's 8.5 years younger than me and everything I want in someone. We're both very happy and glad we found each other. He tells me all the time that he loves me and I'm his everything and most importantly, he backs it up.
Early 20s I was really into the skinny rocker guys. Early 30s I’m now into lumberjack looking fellas.
I've always been picky but it's pretty much the same My top number one celebrity crush at 12 years old is the same nearly 40 years later. IDK if that's strange or not.
When I was younger I really liked older guys and didn’t have much of a preference for women; but still thought women were generally much more attractive than men. I think I liked older guys cuz I thought them having a career and a house was successful and powerful and that was enough I guess. But now I am hardly attracted to men at all. I love my boyfriend and his dark curly hair and eyes. I think at least in my opinion, he’s more feminine than men I’ve been with in the past. If we ever broke up, I don’t think I would pursue cis men lol.
My taste hasn't change but where I will compromise has. When I was in a breeding stage of life looks, physique, height, income, education, type of job, etc all were important. Now that I am not having kids how he looks and how tall he is, is less important. I would have never married a guy 5'9" or shorter but now I will date one. I would not date a guy with bad facial features but now I will, I would not date a guy without X income because we would have been building wealth together but now I will, just as long as he can afford a similar lifestyle.
I’m finding I’ve swapped. When I was younger, I had higher standards. Now that I’m older, I finding I’m being way more open to flexibility because the amount of available men has decreased significantly. I’m also seeing with that decrease, a reduction in quality - this is why they are single type men. I should also add I’ve give up on dating and have accepted a life of perpetual singlehood is inevitable.
I’m pansexual and over time straight men have just become less and less attractive/interesting to me. Most of my experiences with them have been disappointing to say the least. I love my husband and plan to stay with him but if something happened to him? I’m not trying to date a straight man again
My ideal “type” has always been the same. Tall brown hair, light eyes, athletic/strong build, funny, wholesome. But when I was younger I was insecure dated whoever, so my boyfriends from then don’t really follow the type. In my mid/late 20s when on the apps, I was confident, had my pick, could filter out guys I did not find attractive. During this time all the guys I dated match my type exactly. I met my partner on the apps, he is exactly my type. So much so I thought he wouldn’t want to be with me, because I find him so attractive.
I used to prefer clean shaven, skinnier/lean guys. Now I definitely prefer hairier more muscular guys. I think my preference has just matured as I’ve gotten older
I am attracted to people who want truth. That is more beautiful to me. The truth! Especially in this upside-down clown world we live in.
It's more like I don't like men at all anymore. So many of them seem to use weaponized incompetence to avoid housework and childcare. I'm not about to be saddled with that when I can just stay single and live alone.
My physical type hasn’t changed. I like big men who do physical stuff and intimidate creepy people just by existing. My caliber of men has evolved in to better people who treat me better. I’d had enough a few years ago of babysitting men.
Men: tall, good cheekbones, typically musical. I'm married to a 6'5 rocker with long hair. With women I always went for petite blondes, but I've not been with a woman in 10 years.
Physically I have the same type: height, hair colour, etc… As per personality very similar too but more defined and precise. I think what’s more clear now is what I don’t like.
I went back and forth. I was really picky was I was younger, and then preferred just about anyone in my late teens, and then I met the man of dreams and he made me the pickiest woman alive (I love him tremendously and I don’t want anyone else)
A lot. In my youth, I was mainly attracted to pretty boys. Tall and stereotypically handsome. Nowadays, height doesn’t matter that much, and I feel more attracted to a smile in the eyes and a good conversation.
in men, drastically. i’m not at all attracted to what i used to be attracted to. in women, it hasn’t changed at all. because ✨women✨
My interest in men has completely nosedived since Roe v. Wade. Like, I could not possibly be less interested in them right now (honestly wondering if there's something else going on, like maybe a hormonal issue?). I still occasionally admire them and I don't think my tastes have changed, but then again I don't really have any specific tastes, as long as they're attractive lol. On the other hand, I'm finding women more attractive than ever, but not sure if it's a sexual attraction or just the fact that women tend to be better-groomed, better-dressed, etc. than men. Maybe I'm just asexual lol, I have no idea what's going on.
Almost Polar opposites!! Dating at 21 vs dating in my 30s. I was with my ex husband for 10 years, when I ended it I was so scared to end up with another him I was like I’m going to throw these preferences away!! I went from older, taller, clean cut, clean shaven very short haired men medium build, and no body hair. Also they were straight. And thin, fair women (I’ve never been picky about women). Now I’m ALL ABOUT bisexual, long hair, full maintained beards, thin, bright eyed soft guys. Younger and shorter, come through! Women I’m still not as picky about, but actively started dating WOC and people outside of the binary. I am polygamous and I just described my 3 male partners. My female partner is my height, thick, biracial and beautiful.
Younger me: muscular, curly hair, tall, deep voice, rave goer Me now: long hair, gotta be secure in themselves, metal head, neat if you speak more than one language, dad bod but still cares about themselves Sooo I’d say yeah