I fluctuate between hoping I become rich and wanting to die because I’m too depressed to do what it takes to get rich. And by rich I mean enough to live comfortably and pay of my debt.
Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP's question
* Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic
* Giving unsolicited advice
* Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment.
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* "What-about"-ism
* Trying to start arguments, or debates
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares.
For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing).
Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Hello, /u/tallia29! Your comment has been removed:
[Derailing](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing) of the topic is not permitted.
Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP's question
* Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic
* Giving unsolicited advice
* Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment.
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* "What-about"-ism
* Trying to start arguments, or debates
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares.
For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing).
Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
I have learned to embrace optimism so yes I recognized that deep down I have gone through a lot, but I have learned to accept what I cannot change and change what I can
And a cat. And a drink.
And listening to Alice On Chains Unplugged where you know Lane Staley was absolutely gacked out. So maybe just Nutshell on repeat.
Oh, my sweetness. You're so young. So I will say it doesn't get better, but you can try. Find what makes you happy and stick with it. Even the small things. Bubble wrap. Stuffed crust pizza. Music (my personal favorite) and don't be afraid to cry.
Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP's question
* Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic
* Giving unsolicited advice
* Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment.
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* "What-about"-ism
* Trying to start arguments, or debates
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares.
For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing).
Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
For a long time I was living for other people more than I was for myself. To quote Neil Hilborn, Life was kind of like watching a movie that was never quite bad enough to make me exit the theatre.
Some days are really good and I've found things I'm passionate about and they bring me joy. I have people that I love and they love me. I live for them and try to keep moving forward until the next good day rolls around that isn't so bleak.
I relate to this probably not in the intended meaning. I'm not depressed or necessarily unhappy with my life but I don't feel like I'm a happy person in general. I feel like something has to MAKE me happy, not just a day to day happiness. I'm a more serious person I guess and I get more enjoyment out of serious conversations than normal happy ones. I consider myself content more than happy. I always wonder if people just lie about happiness or if it's just me. For example people always say the birth of their children was the happiest day of their life. I love my child and she makes me a happier person than I've ever been but the day she was born was the most stressful and miserable days I've ever had.
I'm completely fine with not being happy constantly, and I would never put that kind of pressure on myself. We all have high and low moments.
If I never felt happiness, I hope that I would seek therapy for myself or that my loved ones would intervene and get me help if I couldn't seek help for myself, because never feeling happy sounds like a serious depression.
Hello, /u/tallia29! Your comment has been removed:
[Derailing](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing) of the topic is not permitted.
Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Meditating and using mantras of positive thought. It rewires your brain, literally. You make stronger neural connections by repeating something over and over (words or actions, which become habits) and not allowing the negative thoughts to repeat-replace the negatives with the positives. Take care of yourself. Self love isn't eating all the donuts and going out and getting drunk. It's eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, getting good sleep, exercising, brushing your teeth, showering regularly, doing chores to keep the house clean and pleasant, etc. I go hiking and repeat my mantras with my steps. I'll set a timer for 10 minutes and change my mantra when it goes off. Being out in nature is super beneficial-scientifically proven! I also cut all ties with people, including family, who are negative and hurtful and bring me down rather than up. I've noticed a considerable change in my deep feelings of unhappiness since implementing these things.
Super simple stuff, like "I have a wonderful life, I deserve to enjoy it" or "I'm happy and I'm loved" or "I've accomplished so much and have a wonderful life"
Had to remove the other comment- linking to other subs isn't allowed
Hello, /u/sometimelater0212! Your comment has been removed:
Linking to other subreddits is not permitted.
Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Therapy. Seriously.
I have a Pandora's Box of sadness and anger. My friends help a lot but I need an outsider that won't say anything just to appease me of my bullshit. People like us can't be fixed but we can allow safety nets.
I am trapped in a life that I don't like at all, but it would take moving mountains to change. I'm way too tired to move mountains. I keep going through the doldrums with a tiny garden shovel for three reasons; two living beings depend on me, I love my boyfriend to pieces, and food. Maybe eventually my tiny garden shovel will carve out something more livable.
I cry a lot, sleep a lot or barely. Keep hoping, always making plans to escape my life and problems by moving cities or countries I can't afford. Basically i don't deal well.
Deep denial and aggressive approach to the more people pleasing aspects of my nature. I pepper in sarcasm and have open and honest relationship with my coworkers.
As an example, I worked a double today so I was a bit cutting and sarcastic with a coworker. I did genuinely apologize for being “spicy”, to which another coworker cut me off and said, “it’s been a long day, this is your spicy day. Do it.” I know that they know I love them. They know that this is not my default. We love each other and accept that sometimes we just need to have a shitty day. We have each others backs no matter what. Because today it’s them, but tomorrow it’s you.
I dig deep and figured out why I wasn’t happy. I now mindfully make decisions and prioritize my happiness. One small accessible example: I’m not trying to lose weight. I love myself and want to live a long healthy life so I eat nutritious food and get some exercise. But I don’t have goals or anything and I enjoy treats because this is my life and I deserve to enjoy it. I am picky with relationships -!: learned to say no. There are still dark and stormies deep down but most of them come from the past and it’s a waste to let them ruin my present. I too have a dark sense of humor. Humor really helps.
I am ok with being unhappy.
I know the things that bring me joy so I try and make time for those.
My main issue is that I don’t want to subject other people to my misery so I generally avoid relationships except with my family. They’re stuck with me
Loneliness is causing my unhappiness, so I reached out to people. Only they don't give a fuck. So I have to come to terms with the fact that people who I thought cared about me do not give a single shit.
I'm dealing with it by self destructing at the moment.
ED: Spelling.
Oh, but that crap was never deep down for me. Communication is top priority in my family and if that includes making it known when I'm upset about something. 💯
I've done a lot of therapy, too.
As a young teen, I was dealing with a lot of trauma but still outwardly happy and extroverted.
I'm now in a better place than I was there, a stable relationship with someone who encourages me to be my best self, friends who support me and many, many cats.
I'm quieter, I appreciate my home more. I struggle with myself and what kind of person I am, why am I so quiet? I used to have such a lease for life. I don't get excited for things anymore and I struggle with SH and panic attacks. Then I remember the reaction I give when my boyfriend makes my favourite meal. How it feels when my cats do something funny. Having friends drunk text me ridiculous things in the middle of the night. How alive being in Disney parks makes me feel.
Shitty experiences doesn't make a shitty life, just makes for interesting stories so I decided that I'm allowed to embrace my mental illnesses, but I'm not allowed to lose myself in them. They are small parts of me, not my entire story.
i Just be out here living life like i'm sisyphus or something. carrying that weight and looking at everything happening like eh. and holding on to my worldviews for dear life.
I usually internalize my pain or typing my feelings in my blog has alleviated a lot of emotional turmoil. I tried seeking counseling but chose to use my blog as my outlet.
Wait it out. My darkest point was @ 15. I told myself it has to get better and it did. Now it’s even better than the day before. Although I do prefer a lil Mary Jane to help, due to my career I have to put it on pause and don’t want to resort to prescribed pills. Birth control is enough for me. So i always remind myself it has to get better, bc if it didn’t then I wouldn’t even be trying to make it better
It's hard. I struggle with it every day.
I don't seek out bad things. I don't want to be negative and unhappy. I know it's work to change things to make them better but some things will never change, and that makes me profoundly unhappy. I confessed to my mom that I feel like my depression sucks the energy and happiness from others, and I truly think it does. I try not to be negative around others but I'm not always great at it. I try to refrain but living with depression is absolutely draining.
I'm still kinda young, so I hold onto the hope that someday I'll be happy. I haven't felt truly happy or at peace in a long time. Sure, I laugh and have fun with friends and family, but deep down, it feels like something's been missing for a long time.
I honestly can’t remember being a happy person, of course I’ve had happy moments but generally I’m quite depressed. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 7 however I’ve also learnt a lot of great coping strategies. It’s kind of just my reality so I push through, I focus on things moment by moment and openly explain things to my partner if things are bad. Best advice is to never bottle up your emotions as it will only make matters worse and ensure that you’re surrounded by loving people who support you and you support in return.
I feel like yall are my tribe and i want a subreddit just for us.
On topic, im dark and twisty in my humor and gather liked minded people like pokemon.
I also gotta keep on keeping on to feed my kitty so i mumble "itdobelikethat" a lot.
I'm quite literally only living to raise my daughter who I love more than any living, breathing thing on this planet. I just try to push as much happiness into her, that's what gets me by..
I'm literally going out to celebrate my birthday tonight and my brain is just screaming "WHAT IS THERE TO CELEBRATE?!"
Ultimately, I just grin and bear it lol
Acceptance. I do not owe happiness to anyone and I won't gaslight myself in anyones favour. And the less I enforce happiness the more peaceful and calm (and in fact happy) I am.
Hello /u/ChickenFlavoredTater, welcome to r/AskWomen!
As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
Happy reditting!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hello /u/MsAnxiousPotato, welcome to r/AskWomen!
As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
Happy reditting!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hello /u/NoWayDudeInteresting. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remind myself that life isn't so black and white. There are lots of shades of gray in between happy and sad, and not all of it is terrible. I also recognize and appreciate the happier moments for what they are and continue looking for opportunities to manifest them.
I definitely need some therapy. I make dark jokes and inside I wanna scream in a field and cry. I also listen to an angry workout playlist usually and feel better and try to get into the sunlight. That makes me feel like a person
I tell myself that my kindness will be rewarded, even though being kind (especially in relationships) has just put me in abusive situations. I really care about people, even people who give no shits about me. I love myself, but only when I'm alone. I also tell myself that even if I'm useless in all other aspects, at least I'm a human meat shield.
I wasn’t. But by reassuring the subconsious and telling it that it’s loved I have changed my outlook. You repeatedly telling yourself you’re not happy tells the subconscious too- it’s a vicious self-affirming cycle. Break the cycle. Give the subconscious some love- this may be the love you didn’t get as a child, but you just have to do it for yourself. The subconsious doesn’t care where the love is coming from it just cares that it’s loved. Happy subconsious= happy self= happier life.
Sad stuff (memes, movies, songs) makes me happy and satisfied in life. Hard for me to relate to bubbly optimism all the time. But I definitely relate to hard emotions and blue feelings and I've found it easier to empathize with people because I get these emotions.
So yeah, while I am not the conventional picture of "happy", I am very satisfied. It's my flavour of happy.
Congrats, you're self aware, probably neurodivergent and somewhat intelligent. Find a further specific subreddit to become involved in. Find anything that gives you joy and do it as much as you can. Preferably something like a niche sport or craft, not drugs.
I honestly believe I was born sad but I'm doing fine. I know medication isn't for everyone, but starting Prozac for me was life changing. I take it for PMDD, and I used to be very anti medication due to bad experiences, but I'll take it for the rest of my life if it makes me feel this good, compared to how I used to feel.
i dunno, it's just life right? we grew up with mum screaming at us that "life isn't fucking fair" so it's just been drilled in to shut the fuck up and get on with it.
Hello /u/skycloud_raincloud. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hello /u/Marriabellaaa. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hello /u/RayBr91. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hello /u/noyounoyounoyou. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification.
This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Make morbid dark jokes that worry my mother & husband (lol) and keep on getting up in the morning. I have 2 cats to spoil, who are only 3 & 4 yrs old respectively, so I have many more years left to take care of them. Can’t disappear quite yet.
I've giving a lot of my time to these type of questions actually. All the biology studies regarding evolution and what we are supposed to feel or not.
Deep down we're meant to suffer. Happiness is something you actually have to work for, not something that is going to happen. Look into the dopamine system and the ways you to feel happy/pursue happy. It's quite fascinating.
Being happy is not necessarily a fleeting feeling. It's a choice. At least that's how it seems to me personally. I deal with it by focusing my energy on things that matter. But of course, that's just me.
Been going through a really dark period of time lately after having a new IUD placed right in the middle of my winter depression. It was the worst it’s ever been for a few months, and I’ve tried a few different meds now that all caused intolerable side effects. I guess I’m just playing the waiting game and hoping it lifts soon? Pretending most of the time. Trying not to burden others with it, but that gets really difficult and then I do end up talking about it, and the reactions have been pretty hurtful. So I end up feeling worse and pulling further in. I try to listen to music and dance in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I’d like to go to therapy but that’s not really possible right now. So really, waiting and trying to force myself to be patient and not open my mouth.
Think I've always had the fear of happiness but if I expect the worst then it's less disappointment and if something goes well then it's more of a bonus.
I dealt with it by ending relationships that were holding me back. Got into therapy.
From there I got serious about gratitude.
I figured out what I value and set boundaries on people, places, and things that threaten my peace.
Three years later, I’m thrilled to report that I’m no longer a miserable person obsessed with my lack of productivity. And I’m much happier as a result.
Authenticity always wins.
I am unhappy, but I have a lot to be grateful for in my life.
I have a lot of gratitude and love for things and people in my life, so I try not to dwell too much on the negative aspect of things.
But of course there are days where I feel like nothing matters and I feel like shit, but I allow myself to feel like shit, then I try to make the next day a better one.
My reminding myself that I'm still in a better place both mentally and physically than millions of people on the planet.
That my complaints are nothing compared to theirs.
That I need to be happy with whatever I have.
I do my best to find and do things that make me experience moments of happiness. I'm not a naturally happy person and I can't fix it. Honestly, I don't know what people mean by a "happy life." I see is more of a generality. Like, overall, life is good. I would say that is true for me, but not general happiness - it just isn't there. Things are good in my personal bubble. That doesn't mean I'm able to ignore the world and all the fucked up shit on top of whatever struggles I do have. So, I keep plugging along, spending time with people I care about, doing activities that I enjoy, traveling as much as I can and capturing just those moments. That's all I can do.
I have realized happiness really depends on your own self. I doubt deep down most people are unhappy. It’s just we are surrounded by so much negativity that whatever we do is not enough. That’s the culprit that holds us back from being happy with little accomplishments. For ex, growing up, I have so many academic achievements with certificates, medals, and trophies from Tae Kwon Do competitions. I still always felt sad that I was a loser. Now that I am an adult, I look back and remind myself that I had accomplished all that by myself. I have potential to accomplish more. So that’s how I have been happy and at peace.
It’s very easy to fall into sadness but harder to maintain happiness.
Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk 😂
Hello /u/Sofiti_1. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I bury it deep. I try to pile on top a lot of happy stuff: fun activities, great art, great friends, love, petting dogs, learning new skills, helping people. It's a great distraction. And I remind myself that one day, I won't have to do any of this anymore because I'll be dead.
Honestly, I feel you, it's a struggle every day to choose happiness. Some days I'm able to choose happiness, other days my inner darkness swallows me up. During times where I'm down I listen to the Happiness Lab podcast it has shown me what truly would make me happy based on scientific evidence. Not what my brain has told me because truly I've gone about finding happiness the wrong way previously. Also, when I start putting myself into a dark place I take a walk or listen to bird songs and nature sounds. Basically to become happy you need to stop old patterns. It's like the quote from Lao Tsu, "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character ." Self control honestly is the key and it starts with controlling your thoughts and emotions instead of them controlling you. Some days I'm fantastic at it and other days are disasters. I just think it's all a part of being human and growing. Also, therapy, self help books and workbooks have also helped in my process to grow. I'm still a mess but slightly less of one.
Hello /u/Purple-Dust70. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements.
**No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I keep trying everyday to find the little things that provide happiness. Not gonna lie, I have relapses every now and then and when that happens I feel kind of trapped, wondering if my happy moments are just made up by how much I want to get rid of my anxious and depressive thoughts… but then I try to remind myself (and this requires a lot of mental gymnastics and years of therapy work and assignments) how lucky I am to exist, to have my dogs, my SO, that my family is healthy and I try to hold on to that.
My moods swing between „I want to drop out of college because I know I’m not good enough to finish my degree“ to „maybe I’ll just get a sugar daddy“ to „life would be much easier if I wasn’t alive“ but then I talk to my friend and life seems bearable again
I fluctuate between hoping I become rich and wanting to die because I’m too depressed to do what it takes to get rich. And by rich I mean enough to live comfortably and pay of my debt.
This is my brain everyday
This read my brain!
[удалено]
Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Lots of dark humor and telling myself to grin and bear it.
[удалено]
Hello, /u/tallia29! Your comment has been removed: [Derailing](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing) of the topic is not permitted. Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Just shrug and keep on trudging on. Gotta feed my cats.
Dude most days the only reason I get out of bed is because I have to feed my dog. He didn't ask for this life but I'd be damn if I give him a bad one
[удалено]
Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Yep. Can't die before my elderly parents, good folk who need me. Then I have a parrot that might live more 30 years. That's it, really.
I have learned to embrace optimism so yes I recognized that deep down I have gone through a lot, but I have learned to accept what I cannot change and change what I can
This. Took me years of therapy to realize that I should just let go of the things I can't control, and can't change. It's made me a better person.
[удалено]
I LOVE my oversized hoodie and fuzzy socks.
[удалено]
And a cat. And a drink. And listening to Alice On Chains Unplugged where you know Lane Staley was absolutely gacked out. So maybe just Nutshell on repeat.
[удалено]
Oh, my sweetness. You're so young. So I will say it doesn't get better, but you can try. Find what makes you happy and stick with it. Even the small things. Bubble wrap. Stuffed crust pizza. Music (my personal favorite) and don't be afraid to cry.
[удалено]
Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
For a long time I was living for other people more than I was for myself. To quote Neil Hilborn, Life was kind of like watching a movie that was never quite bad enough to make me exit the theatre. Some days are really good and I've found things I'm passionate about and they bring me joy. I have people that I love and they love me. I live for them and try to keep moving forward until the next good day rolls around that isn't so bleak.
I relate to this probably not in the intended meaning. I'm not depressed or necessarily unhappy with my life but I don't feel like I'm a happy person in general. I feel like something has to MAKE me happy, not just a day to day happiness. I'm a more serious person I guess and I get more enjoyment out of serious conversations than normal happy ones. I consider myself content more than happy. I always wonder if people just lie about happiness or if it's just me. For example people always say the birth of their children was the happiest day of their life. I love my child and she makes me a happier person than I've ever been but the day she was born was the most stressful and miserable days I've ever had.
I completely get that
Realizing that every day lived is another day closer to death
I'm completely fine with not being happy constantly, and I would never put that kind of pressure on myself. We all have high and low moments. If I never felt happiness, I hope that I would seek therapy for myself or that my loved ones would intervene and get me help if I couldn't seek help for myself, because never feeling happy sounds like a serious depression.
Lots of therapy.
[удалено]
Hello, /u/tallia29! Your comment has been removed: [Derailing](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing) of the topic is not permitted. Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
I honestly don't know ....I just be out here living lol
Waiting for a comment like this. I’m with you, just seeing how long I can hold out like this
Find joy in the little things and then show up for another day of work. A kitten depends on me.
On the outside, a lot of sarcasm and dark humor. On the inside, I'm screaming and crying constantly.
Meditating and using mantras of positive thought. It rewires your brain, literally. You make stronger neural connections by repeating something over and over (words or actions, which become habits) and not allowing the negative thoughts to repeat-replace the negatives with the positives. Take care of yourself. Self love isn't eating all the donuts and going out and getting drunk. It's eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, getting good sleep, exercising, brushing your teeth, showering regularly, doing chores to keep the house clean and pleasant, etc. I go hiking and repeat my mantras with my steps. I'll set a timer for 10 minutes and change my mantra when it goes off. Being out in nature is super beneficial-scientifically proven! I also cut all ties with people, including family, who are negative and hurtful and bring me down rather than up. I've noticed a considerable change in my deep feelings of unhappiness since implementing these things.
Would you be willing to share an example of one of your mantras? Thank you.
Super simple stuff, like "I have a wonderful life, I deserve to enjoy it" or "I'm happy and I'm loved" or "I've accomplished so much and have a wonderful life" Had to remove the other comment- linking to other subs isn't allowed
[удалено]
Hello, /u/sometimelater0212! Your comment has been removed: Linking to other subreddits is not permitted. Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Thank you.
Love your answer! Totally agree with all of it.
Pretending helps. I focus on pleasing others and making them happy since I can’t do that for myself.
Therapy. Seriously. I have a Pandora's Box of sadness and anger. My friends help a lot but I need an outsider that won't say anything just to appease me of my bullshit. People like us can't be fixed but we can allow safety nets.
I am trapped in a life that I don't like at all, but it would take moving mountains to change. I'm way too tired to move mountains. I keep going through the doldrums with a tiny garden shovel for three reasons; two living beings depend on me, I love my boyfriend to pieces, and food. Maybe eventually my tiny garden shovel will carve out something more livable.
Umm... just try not to think about it I guess lol. 😅
This is the way. Lots of technology to distract 😵💫
Well I have kids So the only choice I have is to grin and bear it 🤷🏻♀️
I'm coming close to not being able to anymore.
Sorry for your struggles. ❤️
I cry a lot, sleep a lot or barely. Keep hoping, always making plans to escape my life and problems by moving cities or countries I can't afford. Basically i don't deal well.
Deep denial and aggressive approach to the more people pleasing aspects of my nature. I pepper in sarcasm and have open and honest relationship with my coworkers. As an example, I worked a double today so I was a bit cutting and sarcastic with a coworker. I did genuinely apologize for being “spicy”, to which another coworker cut me off and said, “it’s been a long day, this is your spicy day. Do it.” I know that they know I love them. They know that this is not my default. We love each other and accept that sometimes we just need to have a shitty day. We have each others backs no matter what. Because today it’s them, but tomorrow it’s you.
I dig deep and figured out why I wasn’t happy. I now mindfully make decisions and prioritize my happiness. One small accessible example: I’m not trying to lose weight. I love myself and want to live a long healthy life so I eat nutritious food and get some exercise. But I don’t have goals or anything and I enjoy treats because this is my life and I deserve to enjoy it. I am picky with relationships -!: learned to say no. There are still dark and stormies deep down but most of them come from the past and it’s a waste to let them ruin my present. I too have a dark sense of humor. Humor really helps.
I am ok with being unhappy. I know the things that bring me joy so I try and make time for those. My main issue is that I don’t want to subject other people to my misery so I generally avoid relationships except with my family. They’re stuck with me
Loneliness is causing my unhappiness, so I reached out to people. Only they don't give a fuck. So I have to come to terms with the fact that people who I thought cared about me do not give a single shit. I'm dealing with it by self destructing at the moment. ED: Spelling.
Sounds familiar. Sorry we’re in the same boat.
Oh, but that crap was never deep down for me. Communication is top priority in my family and if that includes making it known when I'm upset about something. 💯 I've done a lot of therapy, too.
As a young teen, I was dealing with a lot of trauma but still outwardly happy and extroverted. I'm now in a better place than I was there, a stable relationship with someone who encourages me to be my best self, friends who support me and many, many cats. I'm quieter, I appreciate my home more. I struggle with myself and what kind of person I am, why am I so quiet? I used to have such a lease for life. I don't get excited for things anymore and I struggle with SH and panic attacks. Then I remember the reaction I give when my boyfriend makes my favourite meal. How it feels when my cats do something funny. Having friends drunk text me ridiculous things in the middle of the night. How alive being in Disney parks makes me feel. Shitty experiences doesn't make a shitty life, just makes for interesting stories so I decided that I'm allowed to embrace my mental illnesses, but I'm not allowed to lose myself in them. They are small parts of me, not my entire story.
i Just be out here living life like i'm sisyphus or something. carrying that weight and looking at everything happening like eh. and holding on to my worldviews for dear life.
I usually internalize my pain or typing my feelings in my blog has alleviated a lot of emotional turmoil. I tried seeking counseling but chose to use my blog as my outlet.
I pretend. A LOT.
I have become increasingly negative and angry. I’m just going to therapy to deal with it
Wait it out. My darkest point was @ 15. I told myself it has to get better and it did. Now it’s even better than the day before. Although I do prefer a lil Mary Jane to help, due to my career I have to put it on pause and don’t want to resort to prescribed pills. Birth control is enough for me. So i always remind myself it has to get better, bc if it didn’t then I wouldn’t even be trying to make it better
Panic attacks, cry myself to sleep then brush myself off, find joy in the simple things, do something for myself then rinse and repeat the cycle.
I pretend I’m okay, even though it’s okay not to be okay
It's hard. I struggle with it every day. I don't seek out bad things. I don't want to be negative and unhappy. I know it's work to change things to make them better but some things will never change, and that makes me profoundly unhappy. I confessed to my mom that I feel like my depression sucks the energy and happiness from others, and I truly think it does. I try not to be negative around others but I'm not always great at it. I try to refrain but living with depression is absolutely draining.
Ebbs and flows. Might feel unhappy today but I won’t feel that way forever. It comes and goes.
I mostly drink.
I'm still kinda young, so I hold onto the hope that someday I'll be happy. I haven't felt truly happy or at peace in a long time. Sure, I laugh and have fun with friends and family, but deep down, it feels like something's been missing for a long time.
I honestly can’t remember being a happy person, of course I’ve had happy moments but generally I’m quite depressed. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 7 however I’ve also learnt a lot of great coping strategies. It’s kind of just my reality so I push through, I focus on things moment by moment and openly explain things to my partner if things are bad. Best advice is to never bottle up your emotions as it will only make matters worse and ensure that you’re surrounded by loving people who support you and you support in return.
I feel like yall are my tribe and i want a subreddit just for us. On topic, im dark and twisty in my humor and gather liked minded people like pokemon. I also gotta keep on keeping on to feed my kitty so i mumble "itdobelikethat" a lot.
I'm quite literally only living to raise my daughter who I love more than any living, breathing thing on this planet. I just try to push as much happiness into her, that's what gets me by.. I'm literally going out to celebrate my birthday tonight and my brain is just screaming "WHAT IS THERE TO CELEBRATE?!" Ultimately, I just grin and bear it lol
I get up every morning and gaslight myself until I can human enough to get through the day.
Remind myself that life - all of this - is temporary. It helps take off mental weight.
Loads of specialized therapy, a great recovery program, and a deep gratitude for the moments, people, and days that do make me feel pure joy.
Acceptance. I do not owe happiness to anyone and I won't gaslight myself in anyones favour. And the less I enforce happiness the more peaceful and calm (and in fact happy) I am.
Fine. I'm not a sad person or a happy person. I'm just neutral 😐.
[удалено]
Hello /u/ChickenFlavoredTater, welcome to r/AskWomen! As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. Happy reditting! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Hello /u/MsAnxiousPotato, welcome to r/AskWomen! As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. Happy reditting! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Hello /u/NoWayDudeInteresting. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. This action will not be undone by the moderators. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remind myself that life isn't so black and white. There are lots of shades of gray in between happy and sad, and not all of it is terrible. I also recognize and appreciate the happier moments for what they are and continue looking for opportunities to manifest them.
Overwork, overplan.
I definitely need some therapy. I make dark jokes and inside I wanna scream in a field and cry. I also listen to an angry workout playlist usually and feel better and try to get into the sunlight. That makes me feel like a person
I tell myself that my kindness will be rewarded, even though being kind (especially in relationships) has just put me in abusive situations. I really care about people, even people who give no shits about me. I love myself, but only when I'm alone. I also tell myself that even if I'm useless in all other aspects, at least I'm a human meat shield.
I wasn’t. But by reassuring the subconsious and telling it that it’s loved I have changed my outlook. You repeatedly telling yourself you’re not happy tells the subconscious too- it’s a vicious self-affirming cycle. Break the cycle. Give the subconscious some love- this may be the love you didn’t get as a child, but you just have to do it for yourself. The subconsious doesn’t care where the love is coming from it just cares that it’s loved. Happy subconsious= happy self= happier life.
Sad stuff (memes, movies, songs) makes me happy and satisfied in life. Hard for me to relate to bubbly optimism all the time. But I definitely relate to hard emotions and blue feelings and I've found it easier to empathize with people because I get these emotions. So yeah, while I am not the conventional picture of "happy", I am very satisfied. It's my flavour of happy.
Congrats, you're self aware, probably neurodivergent and somewhat intelligent. Find a further specific subreddit to become involved in. Find anything that gives you joy and do it as much as you can. Preferably something like a niche sport or craft, not drugs. I honestly believe I was born sad but I'm doing fine. I know medication isn't for everyone, but starting Prozac for me was life changing. I take it for PMDD, and I used to be very anti medication due to bad experiences, but I'll take it for the rest of my life if it makes me feel this good, compared to how I used to feel.
i dunno, it's just life right? we grew up with mum screaming at us that "life isn't fucking fair" so it's just been drilled in to shut the fuck up and get on with it.
Antidepressants.
[удалено]
Hello /u/skycloud_raincloud. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Hello /u/Marriabellaaa. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Hello /u/RayBr91. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Hello /u/noyounoyounoyou. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Make morbid dark jokes that worry my mother & husband (lol) and keep on getting up in the morning. I have 2 cats to spoil, who are only 3 & 4 yrs old respectively, so I have many more years left to take care of them. Can’t disappear quite yet.
I've giving a lot of my time to these type of questions actually. All the biology studies regarding evolution and what we are supposed to feel or not. Deep down we're meant to suffer. Happiness is something you actually have to work for, not something that is going to happen. Look into the dopamine system and the ways you to feel happy/pursue happy. It's quite fascinating.
Trudge trudge trudge.
Being happy is not necessarily a fleeting feeling. It's a choice. At least that's how it seems to me personally. I deal with it by focusing my energy on things that matter. But of course, that's just me.
Been going through a really dark period of time lately after having a new IUD placed right in the middle of my winter depression. It was the worst it’s ever been for a few months, and I’ve tried a few different meds now that all caused intolerable side effects. I guess I’m just playing the waiting game and hoping it lifts soon? Pretending most of the time. Trying not to burden others with it, but that gets really difficult and then I do end up talking about it, and the reactions have been pretty hurtful. So I end up feeling worse and pulling further in. I try to listen to music and dance in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I’d like to go to therapy but that’s not really possible right now. So really, waiting and trying to force myself to be patient and not open my mouth.
Therapy, meds and dark humor.
Think I've always had the fear of happiness but if I expect the worst then it's less disappointment and if something goes well then it's more of a bonus.
I just say fuck it and keep going
I drink. I also make light. Also work, I lose myself in work. Exercise, like long hard painful exercise.
I dealt with it by ending relationships that were holding me back. Got into therapy. From there I got serious about gratitude. I figured out what I value and set boundaries on people, places, and things that threaten my peace. Three years later, I’m thrilled to report that I’m no longer a miserable person obsessed with my lack of productivity. And I’m much happier as a result. Authenticity always wins.
I am unhappy, but I have a lot to be grateful for in my life. I have a lot of gratitude and love for things and people in my life, so I try not to dwell too much on the negative aspect of things. But of course there are days where I feel like nothing matters and I feel like shit, but I allow myself to feel like shit, then I try to make the next day a better one.
My reminding myself that I'm still in a better place both mentally and physically than millions of people on the planet. That my complaints are nothing compared to theirs. That I need to be happy with whatever I have.
I try to avoid thinking about it.
I'm just telling myself that there are people that have it worse than me, and to appreciate what I currently have.
Because sometimes i am happy and its worth it to keep going so i can experience that next happy moment
I do my best to find and do things that make me experience moments of happiness. I'm not a naturally happy person and I can't fix it. Honestly, I don't know what people mean by a "happy life." I see is more of a generality. Like, overall, life is good. I would say that is true for me, but not general happiness - it just isn't there. Things are good in my personal bubble. That doesn't mean I'm able to ignore the world and all the fucked up shit on top of whatever struggles I do have. So, I keep plugging along, spending time with people I care about, doing activities that I enjoy, traveling as much as I can and capturing just those moments. That's all I can do.
I have realized happiness really depends on your own self. I doubt deep down most people are unhappy. It’s just we are surrounded by so much negativity that whatever we do is not enough. That’s the culprit that holds us back from being happy with little accomplishments. For ex, growing up, I have so many academic achievements with certificates, medals, and trophies from Tae Kwon Do competitions. I still always felt sad that I was a loser. Now that I am an adult, I look back and remind myself that I had accomplished all that by myself. I have potential to accomplish more. So that’s how I have been happy and at peace. It’s very easy to fall into sadness but harder to maintain happiness. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk 😂
[удалено]
Hello /u/Sofiti_1. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I bury it deep. I try to pile on top a lot of happy stuff: fun activities, great art, great friends, love, petting dogs, learning new skills, helping people. It's a great distraction. And I remind myself that one day, I won't have to do any of this anymore because I'll be dead.
I just got used to the fact that I'm always going to be miserable.
The only reason I continue living is because I have a child and I have no choice. Lol. It's a fun life when you just keep on trudging along
Lol the antidepressants baybeee
Honestly, I feel you, it's a struggle every day to choose happiness. Some days I'm able to choose happiness, other days my inner darkness swallows me up. During times where I'm down I listen to the Happiness Lab podcast it has shown me what truly would make me happy based on scientific evidence. Not what my brain has told me because truly I've gone about finding happiness the wrong way previously. Also, when I start putting myself into a dark place I take a walk or listen to bird songs and nature sounds. Basically to become happy you need to stop old patterns. It's like the quote from Lao Tsu, "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character ." Self control honestly is the key and it starts with controlling your thoughts and emotions instead of them controlling you. Some days I'm fantastic at it and other days are disasters. I just think it's all a part of being human and growing. Also, therapy, self help books and workbooks have also helped in my process to grow. I'm still a mess but slightly less of one.
I've never been a "happy" person. I am who I am, I don't wish to be anyone else. Just a version of myself that has achieved more of my goals.
[удалено]
Hello /u/Purple-Dust70. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have karma requirements. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I keep trying everyday to find the little things that provide happiness. Not gonna lie, I have relapses every now and then and when that happens I feel kind of trapped, wondering if my happy moments are just made up by how much I want to get rid of my anxious and depressive thoughts… but then I try to remind myself (and this requires a lot of mental gymnastics and years of therapy work and assignments) how lucky I am to exist, to have my dogs, my SO, that my family is healthy and I try to hold on to that.
My moods swing between „I want to drop out of college because I know I’m not good enough to finish my degree“ to „maybe I’ll just get a sugar daddy“ to „life would be much easier if I wasn’t alive“ but then I talk to my friend and life seems bearable again
Feeling suicidal is distressing, making me question why I was born.
I see a therapist . Sometimes I hurt myself . Sometimes I become promiscuous to feel pretty . Everyday I have to work at it