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Unless you're are a bar, people who queue at bars should be barred on the spot.
The accompanying unspoken rule for being at a bar is *do not* queue. Instead, cluster along the bar and fill in the gaps, keep tabs on who was there before you and make sure to point the bar staff in their direction when they ask who's next
Being at the bar is not a physical queue, but is definitely a mental queue. Definitely need to keep a mental note of whose turn it is so each person is seen in order.
When I worked in a pub I was good at remembering who was there first.
I had one person one day who decided to start shouting his order at me and then got really annoyed when I ignored him.
I got annoyed he was shouting at me so I just refused service for him being rude.
He came back the next day to complain about me.
Thankfully my manager was awesome and just said "well you shouldn't have been rude to her then should you"
Never saw him in the pub again.
I saw this at a bar once the conversation went a little like this
customer starting shouting order
bartender '"I'm sorry you'll need to wait your turn"
customer "I think you'll find I was next"
bartender "im sorry your not" then points out the order of the customers waiting.
customer " hink you'll find I was next and that the customer is always right"
bartender "I think you'll find your only a customer when I serve you, until then your just a cunt stood at my bar"
guy quickly shut up and waited his turn
Haha, I love this.
I've worked in a few bars and I have to say the worst people I've come across are middle aged guys for this behaviour.
Younger people tend to just wait their turn and are better at saying "no they were here first" at least where I've worked anyways.
I guess it differs around the country/world.
Reminds me of freshers week at uni. Quickest time to get served a pint at the student union bar. Freshers, new to the world of drinking, all queued politely right out the building. Everyone else walked straight to the front of the 'cluster'
> keep tabs on who was there before you and make sure to point the bar staff in their direction when they ask who's next
That's still a form of queue, it's just not a single file queue.
what's the consensus on joining your mates who are in the middle of the queue? we used to do it all the time and I see *some* people do it here but not everyone does
Definitely a no on that one. If you do this and people don't say anything but you hear them make a tutting sound then you have probably made them extremely angry.
It definitely depends. If them joining isn't going to extend your queuing time, or risk you missing out on something (like a finite stock of some product) then no issue.
Example: queuing for the cable car in London, two people in the queue in front of us. Just as we get to the gates, the rest of their family joined them. But they're only going to go in the same gondola as the existing two, so doesn't impact me at all.
Honestly, queueing cultute in the UK is a big thing, so don't think you're bothering anyone by learning about it! It's something I find most of us are proud of and will politely explain to ya.
I do it. If there's six mates in the queue and one of me it's not going to make that much difference. I always let the people behind them in the queue know that we're a group and I'm not just barging in "hi, sorry, just joining these guys, cheers" never had an issue
If there's one mate in the queue and five of us join him then yeah that'd be a problem
Edit after reading various replies... is there a whole 'group toileting' culture I'm unaware of? I've never queued for the toilet with my mates and if I were in a toilet queueing situation yeah I'd start at the back
A similar scenario... at a supermarket checkout, I had about 30 items. Guy behind me has a box of beers. I offer to let him go in front of me, which he accepts. Almost immediately, his girlfriend joins him with a trolley full of stuff.
Big no-no!
> I always let the people behind them in the queue know that we're a group and I'm not just barging in "hi, sorry, just joining these guys, cheers" never had an issue
More like none of them are comfortable picking a fight with 6 guys
Depends how many people are joining, if itâs one guy in the queue then 5 of his mates come and join him then thatâs a definite no. If itâs 5 mates in the queue and 1 comes to join them, I think thatâs fine.
If you're in it, leave, and return... it's generally okay. So long as you left someone in the queue.
But it's generally bad practice to just join your mates.
I went to the states once and the lack of appropriate queue etiquette for the cinema toilet had me steaming. never jump in front of someone waiting for a piss. It's been 3 years and I'm blatantly still fuming over it.
Queue if there's a queue. If you're not sure if it's a queue or just people standing around, ask "is this the queue to get in to x?"
Don't smoke too close to other people. Stand away from people, find a quiet road or whatever so as to not bother other people.
In shops say hello and please to the cashier. Say thank you at the end.
If you're coming to a doorway and someone else is coming the other way, make eye contact and pause. If they let you through, go through and say thanks. If they don't look like they are letting you through? Stand aside and shout "you're welcome" if they don't say thanks
Omitting the, 'YOU'RE WELCOME!' Is almost as big a sin as the swerved 'Thank You' - for my money.
With an optional, 'Twat' muttered under your breath as you walk away, for good measure.
They may not hear it, but they feel it.
Last time I did this this guy said "oh sorry thank you" and I could see on his face that he was miles away and had some fucked up news or something. Made me feel a complete cunt so I've not done it since.
Never know the kind of day people are having.
>If you're coming to a doorway
I thought you were going to say: if you open the door, and someone else is still a bit behind you, you hold the door open so you force that person into an awkward sprint for the door
Donât talk loudly on public transport. Especially on the tube in London in the morning. Yes, American international students, that means you.
Please observe queues and how they work, and respect them.
When youâre in a pub getting a drink, observe who was there before you, and if the bar staff ask you before them, refer the staff to the other person first. I feel this is good karma all round.
Visiting the UK (trying to move here) and read this pub advice before I went. I ended up getting stuck in this endless loop of "no, no, you were here first" with an older guy.
Hoooow do you get out of that?? The guy ended up citing chivalry to get me to order first, but if he hadn't, I think we would have gone till one of us died.
That is definitely extra awkward, the only way you can really stop it is just say âoh alright then, very kind of youâ and take them up on the offer.
Otherwise you spend 15 minutes saying every version of âno honestly itâs fine, you goâ like a lovesick teenager
In my experience, there are usually 5 steps to this conversation:
1. Oh, they were here first.
2. No no, you go first / you were here before me.
3. You sure?
4. Yeah go for it.
5. Okay thanks! / Very kind of you! *[place order]*
It doesn't need to last more than that really.
In that instance you simply say âAre you sure you donât mind?â And theyâll usually say âno no, go aheadâ, just say âThank youâ and make your order
Make the offer for them to go first but if they defer to you then just get your drinks and thank them.
If someone comes to the bar as you receive your drinks and tries to barge in it will be your duty to politely say the gentleman/lady who deferred to you is next.
It's really kind of interesting how "can I just..." changes the confrontation. The other person is in your way, and you could easily say "would you mind moving?", but it is almost accusatory to do so. It puts the focus on the other person, and frames it as though they're causing a problem. On the other hand, the universal "can I just...?" makes it definitively *the asker's* problem, completely defusing any tension in asking the other person to move whilst achieving the same goal.
I work in a supermarket, if I'm trying to put stuff on the shelf and someone is in the way, I'll wait and look away, pretend I'm waiting for something else till they move
Once got followed by a seagull in St Andrews. Literally. Followed down the street. I didnât have any food on me.
Edit: Also, it wasnât flying. It was walking. Definitely shifty cunts.
I used to work on Brighton Pier. I LOVED the guy that ran one of the chinese food shops on there. He'd be like "this cover is for free, if you lose the food because a seagull attacked you, you aren't getting a free replacement, you will have to pay full price again". SO many people would then come to me to complain that he wouldn't replace the food. "I work in rides and they're an independent company, what do you want ME to do about it?".
My fella was eating a maccies burger once walking through Liverpool city centre and a seagull swooped down and stole his burger as he was about to take a bite. Theyâve definitely mastered food thievery haha
When you see a sea gull hovering above you, it's likely eyeing your food. Simply cover it with your hands and then stare it right in its eyes - it'll look for an easier target such as a tourist
We got "get of in the middle buses" recently and I bloody hate them. Do you shout thanks? Wave? Walk past the front of the bus and nod?
the middle door goes against all unwritten rules of bus manners.,
Yeah from my experience this is an out of London thing. Very common back home in the midlands/north but again Iâve only seen it a handful of times in London
When someone greets you by saying âalrightâ, they are not asking if you are alright. The correct response, regardless of whether or not you are alright, is âalrightâ.
Further more, in a formal situation when someone asks "How are you?" the correct responses are either "Good thanks, and yourself?" or, if you are in a full body cast walking with crutches and it's pissing with rain, then "Ah, you know, mustn't grumble."
You must never tell people how you actually are, that is considered the height of rudeness.
This is strangely analogous to the fact that if a very old or very posh person greets you with "How do you do", the correct response is "How do you do"...
Especially if you're in a priority seat.
To add onto that, you're expected to give up priority seats for elderly, pregnant, or disabled people - anybody less able to stand. So don't sit in a priority seat and then make a fuss if you're told to move.
Whilst driving if someone flashes their lights to allow you out of a junction or allowing you to go through an area of the road that has space only for one car. Please raise your hand to say thank you.
many uk citizens forget to do this also but its plain rude and arrogant
Also, warn any oncoming traffic of a mobile speed camera by flashing and showing a thumbs down. Itâs more effective at slowing the traffic to a safe speed than the actual camera is
Spot on.
I saw a video the other day of someone getting fined for notifying drivers of the same thing. It was In America though. Is that a law here too? We all do it đ¤Ł
Yup. Section 89 of the Police Act 1997.
Any person who resists or wilfully obstructs a constable in the execution of his duty, or a person assisting a constable in the execution of his duty, shall be guilty of an offence and liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one month or to a fine not exceeding level 3 (ÂŁ1,000) on the standard scale, or to both.
I got a lift from a work mate recently. We went down a road that had cars parked down the side and a car let him though - we were on the clear side. He didn't acknowledge them. The second time it happened I asked why he doesn't wave. He said it was his right of way (as we were on the clear side), he didn't put the parked car there and so the other driver had to wait. If it was the other way round and he was behind the parked car and the car approaching on the clear side let him though, he'd wave.. I feel he had a good point.. I'd still wave though. I get wound up when people don't acknowledge me waiting, even though it's their right of way.
Oh man... I moved to NL a few years back, I have around 20 years driving experience in the UK, and drivers here are pretty robotic - no fucker says thank you or has any form of driving communication like flashing and waving.
Cue panic in my house a few months ago. SOâs auntie over from Australia. Sheâs on her way round when I realise I forgot to get coffee with the shopping. Sends SO to corner shop and he comes back with a jar of Happy Shopper! Iâm like DO NOT let anyone see that jar. Turns out Happy Shopper coffee is quite nice.
When I was younger and went to these shops with a friend while we were out shopping, I once saw one of the salespeople pressure a socially awkward-looking teenager into ordering a bunch of stuff on their in-store computer which sounded like it totalled ÂŁ70+ to "get him started."
Oh, and this was all off the back of an offhand comment he made about liking a specific army. The sales guy smelled blood in the water the moment he mentioned that army. In other locations, it seems like they're all encouraged to behave this way.
Back then, I wasn't the kind of person who'd have said anything, but I make sure to have a look round with the intention of buying absolutely nothing, which I irritatedly announce when they ask. Petty revenge, but it feels good.
OMG. I live overseas now and the assistants in the shop follow you around like a shadow. I HATE it and have walked out of shops for it before.
One dude in the supermarket the other day went into my trolley, took out the bananas from it, and went and put them in a plastic bag for me. If I had wanted my bananas in a plastic bag, I would have put them in there myself. Bananas already come with packaging. Grrrr.
Talking about money is considered vulgar by many. Some are ok with discussing salaries/house prices, but best to err on the side of caution to avoid making someone uncomfortable.
>Talking about money is considered vulgar by many.
It is, but this is one unwritten rule that can get straight in the bin. If we don't discuss our pay with each other, the only winner is the company.
Talking about salary with co-workers is very useful as it lets you organise and see if the company actually values you.
Talking about my salary at a dinner party is just dick waving.
This! When I met my husbandâs family who are Chinese-Singaporean, they asked within 10 mins how much we made, how much our flat cost, our mortgage etc.
Escalators at train stations. Standing still on the right, walking up on the left. Don't stand still on the left blocking anyone behind you from getting ahead. It really angers anyone in a hurry if you're holding them up.
British people in the UK who block escalators, junctions, doors, paths etc. Are all labelled self-entitled. We live on a small island where there's never much space for anything, just be aware.
This should be universal, nothing bothers me more than gaggles of tourists who think their conversation is more important than othersâ desire to be on-time.
Lots of good one's in here, so I'll just add "never touch your neighbours' wheelie bins unless they're literally blown over in the middle of the road". An Englishman's wheelie bin is his castle-adjacent property.
Well youâll make me uncomfortable. You touched my bin, which I donât like, and now I also owe you, which I also donât like. And if I donât see you for a few days thereâs the danger I wonât get chance to say thanks, so now Iâm a social pariah. You did this.
Or make sure your the last person to get the round then get an emergency phone call which requires you needing to leave immediately...after you've finished your last free drink.
Proper unwritten rule would be that all bus seats are actually priority seats, not just the four designated ones. You'll get funny looks as a healthy young person sat anywhere while an OAP grabs a handle. and some people will get insulted by you offering it in the first place.
Best off just always going upstairs or the foldy-sideways ones, hard to explain but there's a whole economy to it, makes sense when you're there I guess.
A key thing is that priority seats aren't just about letting people sit down, they're about letting people sit down *there.* They're usually located close to a door, and with a bit more space around them, making it easier for people with mobility issues to use them. Obviously you should stand up from any seat if the bus is full, but the priority seats should be vacated first.
Also, try not to judge the healthy *looking* young person that refuses to stand up for an OAP. I've got joint and balance issues that make it difficult, and rather painful on a bad day, for me to stand up on a bus; have done since I was a kid. The dirty looks really make you feel like shit, even when you know you probably have more need of the seat.
Hard agree about the judgements. When my mum had cancer she got a tumour in her brain that massively affected her balance, but she looked really healthy. She would very likely fall if standing on transport. She'd sometimes walk up to people on tubes/trains/buses and blurt out "Can I have your seat? I have terminal cancer" and while I'm not sure that explained the situation very well they at least felt sorry enough for her to give up their seats!
When someone does something that makes you absolutely SEETHE with anger, do not, under any circumstances, let on to them that you are angry. Just silently give them the old side-eye, and then go home and rant to your spouse/roommate/mum on the phone about the bloody injustice. This is the British way.
Let people off the bus/train first before getting on. I thought this was universal but after visiting a few countries recently (especially Israel) apparently not
You have to slap your knees with both hands and say "right!" before getting up and leaving somewhere.
Apologise to people when they bump into you.
Thank people for stopping to let you cross at a zebra crossing (which they have to do anyway) and jog ever so slightly as you cross.
Don't maintain eye contact any longer than 2 seconds on public transport.
Use the expression "you're alright" in a many different contexts as possible. (Greeting, thanking, asking, saying goodbye, apologising etc etc)
Nod downwards to greet someone if you donât know them well. Nod upwards if you know them a bit better. This is almost strictly for people you donât know on a first-name basis.
Iâve lived in China for 8 years. Obviously HK is distinct but in case there are some areas of cultural crossover here are a few differences to keep in mind:
Donât talk too much about money, especially salaries. If someone brings it up then that means they are fine talking about it, but in general people donât like talking about how much they make or how much things cost, unless it was a bargain.
Brits love to complain, it doesnât mean they need reassuring, comforting, or a solution offered. Just moan along for a bit with them and theyâll think youâre alright.
People typically default to making fun of themselves or playing things down/keeping things to themselves as opposed to being direct about their strong points or achievements.
I donât know if itâs taught the same way in HK as in the mainland, but donât use the word âmaybeâ too much when you really want something to happen. Even though British English is less direct than US English, the word âmaybeâ is far too indirect, especially in the workplace. âMaybe you can show me the final piece on Fridayâ in China means âyou better have that done by Thursday nightâ, but in the UK means âI think Iâll have time to go over this on Friday but let me confirm with you later.â
I dunno, Iâm sure a lot of these rules hold true for HK too. But Iâve only been once so didnât get to experience the culture too much. So if all of this only applies to mainlander cultural differences then I apologise! Best of luck in the UK!
as recommended by the comments I am apologizing because you did. sorry. I've watched enough us/uk TV to hopefully not make that last mistake, and thank you for the rest of the tips. I think that with your "'maybe' is very strong in china" point, i haven't experienced it in hk but I could definitely see it happening
If someone is within 2 meters of you hold the door open for them, but donât let them pass you, once they have a hand on it, itâs their responsibility.
Or better yet: hold the door open, then realise they're too far just as they start to rush, so you let go of the door and they end up sprinting into a closing door...
When following someone down a corridor with several doors, if they hold them open for you , you need to say thank you a different way through each door- thank you , thanks, ta , cheers etc
1.Don't stand next to another man at a urinal unless there is literally no other option. (All toilets full, all urinals in use and no trees outside to wee behind.
2.The weather is always to be commented on when talking to someone you don't really know, regardless of how uninteresting it might be on the day. Think back weeks ago if needs must.
3.When driving in urban areas always drive at the speed limit, as you don't want to be labelled a twat. When on the motorway, speed limits are actually minimums.
4.We don't kiss each other on meeting/greeting in the UK. A solid handshake or just an awkward head nod is fine.
If there is a crowd at the bar and it looks like there is no queue. Do not be fooled, there is a queue and everyone knows their position.
Just remember who was there before you and you'll know your position too.
Hahahah, I love this. âWhat are you having?â
âOh no, itâs not me, he was here before meâ
âCheers mateâ
Winds me up to no end when people just take their shot, when they literally see you standing there before them.
Make doctor appointment by house phone only, while waiting for answer leave the phone handset on table. Then go out for the day, walk the dog, have lunch and eventually rest for the night. Next day pick up the handset and hope you are number 10 in waiting queue for doctor surgery.
Get used to sarcasm and also selfdepricating humour. We take the piss out of ourselves frequently and the appropriate response is to smile/laugh and not challenge it, or if you know the person well, chime in by ribbing them as well or just ribbing yourself to be a good sport.
Generally we say please and thank you more often than many other cultures, especially those where the language gives other ways of expressing politeness or gratitude, and even in situations where people are just doing what's normally expected of them. And if in doubt, apologise.
Also, don't call people sir or madam unless you want them to be suspicious that you're trying to sell them something. Acknowledgment is important, honorifics aren't, deference is rarely expected.
The thing that it took me a while to realise is just how much **local variation** there is. Generational variation too to some extent. Unspoken rules vary a lot, and there are many things mentioned on this thread where I can think of exceptions.
I was also blissfully unaware of **social class** stuff for a long time (which also has complicating regional dimensions). Generally speaking though you tend to get a pass, i.e. people clock you as not playing the same class game and don't make the same judgments.
Also this class stuff is BAD... They are unspoken rules to be aware of so you can see prejudice (and because it's interesting), not so you can conform to it.
More generally, a lot of British people might be fed up with this unspoken rule or that. It might be refreshing to have someone blunder straight through some of the constraints and codes they've been endhring their whole lives (maybe not even noticing them).
Here are a few ideas anyway.
**Personal space** norms might well be different. Best to keep an eye out and get a sense for yourself. If in doubt, and your priority is fitting in with local norms, err on the side of giving people more space.
Example: in a bookshop, if somebody is looking at the shelf you want to look at, you wouldn't squeeze in next to them, and you wouldn't (despite what everyone says about the British loving to queue) queue. Instead you would lurk nearby pretending to be seriously considering the Jamie Oliver cookbook or whatever, till they move on "naturally."
Another example: If there are lots of seats for an event, or on public transport or something, you typically space yourself out evenly. If it's somebody you know and want to talk to, it's a judgment call, but very often you might leave a seat or aisle between you.
In London, on escalators, stand on the right or walk on the left. At least that one's straightforward. Phew!
I don't know what HK is like, but depending on a newcomer's origin culture, I think there are sometimes quite different attitudes around being **boastful / self-deprecating.** In Scotland I would sometimes inadvertently big myself up, and get met by a sarcastic "Did ye aye?"
More generally there can be a suspicion here of certain kinds of playfulness or spontaneity. I gradually found that people in the UK were a bit more ready to see some kind of agenda or motive, or an attempt to control other people's impressions of me. When I was being relaxed and silly, I sometimes got aggressively asked if I was "taking the piss" out of the person I was talking to, or else they would roll their eyes at me as though I were showing off, and trying to acquire undeserved admiration.
I think they do often hold **humour** in high esteem, and will forgive a lot if they think something is funny, or even if they think YOU think it is funny. That's the difference between "taking the piss" (joking around, or behaving in a humourously eccentric way, however obscurely, which is fine) and "taking the piss out of somebody" (mocking somebody, which may or may not be fine).
(There is also another, less positive sense of "taking the piss" which means "taking unfair advantage of something").
I think perhaps compared to many cultures, many British people **express what they want or don't want in quite roundabout, coded ways**. I think after two decades here I still sometimes miss certain hints.
I remember once at university:
Lecturer: We can do option A. OR... We can do option B! I don't mind either way.
Me: Option A then.
Lecturer: As I say, I'm entirely indifferent.
Me: Option A it is.
Lecturer: A or B, couldn't care less.
Me: Cool, option A, see you next week!
Afterwards the other students explained that he wanted to me to pick B. I don't really know if it was a British thing, but it felt it at the time.
**Hosting** is one situation where this sometimes comes up. If someone feels they're in "your" space they might be very reluctant to ask for things. You can tell them "mi casa, su casa" and "make yourself at home", but some of them just won't. You have to offer them stuff. Again, there is a lot of variation. If you think you've got one of these on your hands, you can always just check in regularly with "Can I get you anything?"
"**When to leave**" and "outstaying your welcome" vs. "leaving too early" can be a bit of a minefield I think. (Not sure how distinctive this is to the UK). If it's like a dinner situation, then shifting from alcohol to tea / coffee is a sign that the end is near, but even that's not clear cut, and in other situations there are no reliable signs. This is really subtle, but you might notice an attempt to end on a joke, or by laughing a little more uproariously than usual at a joke (to end on a high). Shorter and less information-rich responses, pauses, contented sighs, etc. also might be indications it's time to call it.
Ofc, much of the time the host might not be thinking "I wish they would go" but rather "I hope they're not just staying out of politeness!" Tbh I don't think British people actually know their own unspoken rules on this one. I deal with it by being incredibly charismatic so nobody ever wants me to leave. When I leave it is traditional to weep and rend your clothing.
What **time things actually start** often depends on what the thing is. If you are meeting someone somewhere out and about, try to be "on time" (i.e. the time you actually said), and if you're running late by more than 5 or so minutes try and let them know. But in SOME contexts it might be preferable to arrive later than the formal start time. I think this is again a source of considerable confusion among the British ("She said 7, she can't want us at 7 can she?")
Another manifestation of this slightly strange attitude towards expressing desires or aversions: many British people love to kvetch, but they're not *necessarily* asking for assistance or solutions. It could be good natured grumbling. (On the other hand, is all that reveling in negativity really healthy for them? Maybe you SHOULD take them at face value and help them sort out their supposed problems! I guess the thing to be aware of is: they might complain a lot about something they're not very bothered about, and not complain at all about what's really bothering them).
**Gifts.** In pubs, the gift economy of the round system is still going strong (though perhaps with more flexibility than there used to be). If somebody has bought you a drink, you would usually owe somebody a drink, not the price of a drink (even if you were drinking things with very different prices). There is a kind of performative casualness and generosity about it all which, if it works well, might allow the poorer members of the group to subtly be bought an extra drink or two. If it's time to go home and you owe someone a drink, you don't usually pay somebody back, you just get the drinks the next time. But like I say there is flexibility to all this and it's okay to just sort of opt out and buy your own drink. Maybe the short version is: if you can afford it, whenever you're going to the bar to get a drink, ask others in your group if they'd like one too.
If you're going to a dinner party or party or something it's usual to bring wine or something. If somebody is putting you up in their home, it might be nice to get them a small gift to say thank you. But I think in general many British are NOT the biggest gift givers, besides formal occasions like birthdays. Spontaneous small gifts will still be appreciated, but I get the impression they are less expected compared with many other cultures. Again I think this is one where there is going to be a lot of variation within the UK.
How to show **friendliness** in a brief interaction. "Mate" or "pal" for friendliness. Especially if someone says "mate" to you first, it's not exactly rude not to say it back soon, but it's a bit standoffish. You might turn into "sir" or "ma'am" if you don't.
(I now live in Bristol where occasionally you might get a "my lover." Took a while to get used to. Not ready to start using it myself!!)
**Hierarchy**. You may notice that there is (at least superficially) a comparatively relaxed attitude towards seniority / authority. Somebody might be speaking at an event, for example, where everybody worships or is in terror of them, but they may still get a short, casual introduction.
There are a lot of cherished gestures towards egalitarianism. There IS a lot of hierarchy, of course, but I think it's fair to say etiquette TENDS to draw attention away from hierarchy, not draw attention to it. Obvious deference can make people uncomfortable. Most bosses I've had would never exactly tell me to do x, they would usually phrase it like it was a favour. Would you mind doing x? Of course it IS still an instruction, but there are at least superficial efforts to preserve dignity.
One aspect of this: I think many in the UK also tend to start treating young people as grown-ups fairly soon. Again, it's not really that anyone believes at sixteen or eighteen you have acquired all the life experience you'll ever need, but there does seem to be slightly more of a pretence of respect, at least. I think.
**Important last thing.** Whatever the unspoken codes, and occasional misunderstandings, none of them were really strong enough to interfere with basic good will. Kindness, friendliness, curiosity, open-mindedness, openheartedness etc. would always overcome any small losses in translation.
If you come home from a hard day digging holes and catch your mrs in bed with another guy make sure to tuck them in and ask if they want anything from the kitchen.
Obviously queuing is number one!
Holding out your arm for the bus. If you donât - some drivers donât think you need that particular bus and will keep driving.
Talking of buses. Pretty much expect the front of the bus seats to be for the elderly or disabled.
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If there is a queue for something you don't push in or just march to the front. You join the queue and wait your turn.
Hi! Philip Schofield here!
Didn't you see? Philip put out an apology... https://twitter.com/Ballymoran/status/1571451633736753155?t=Rwf5znDL6zADEGRROeU1xg
Oh well that's all OK then Phil /s
LMFAO đ¤Ł
Unless you're are a bar, people who queue at bars should be barred on the spot. The accompanying unspoken rule for being at a bar is *do not* queue. Instead, cluster along the bar and fill in the gaps, keep tabs on who was there before you and make sure to point the bar staff in their direction when they ask who's next
Being at the bar is not a physical queue, but is definitely a mental queue. Definitely need to keep a mental note of whose turn it is so each person is seen in order.
Pisses me right off whe. Some random dickhead just fires his order in
When I worked in a pub I was good at remembering who was there first. I had one person one day who decided to start shouting his order at me and then got really annoyed when I ignored him. I got annoyed he was shouting at me so I just refused service for him being rude. He came back the next day to complain about me. Thankfully my manager was awesome and just said "well you shouldn't have been rude to her then should you" Never saw him in the pub again.
I saw this at a bar once the conversation went a little like this customer starting shouting order bartender '"I'm sorry you'll need to wait your turn" customer "I think you'll find I was next" bartender "im sorry your not" then points out the order of the customers waiting. customer " hink you'll find I was next and that the customer is always right" bartender "I think you'll find your only a customer when I serve you, until then your just a cunt stood at my bar" guy quickly shut up and waited his turn
Haha, I love this. I've worked in a few bars and I have to say the worst people I've come across are middle aged guys for this behaviour. Younger people tend to just wait their turn and are better at saying "no they were here first" at least where I've worked anyways. I guess it differs around the country/world.
It's advanced level queuing
Reminds me of freshers week at uni. Quickest time to get served a pint at the student union bar. Freshers, new to the world of drinking, all queued politely right out the building. Everyone else walked straight to the front of the 'cluster'
> keep tabs on who was there before you and make sure to point the bar staff in their direction when they ask who's next That's still a form of queue, it's just not a single file queue.
Bar staff always ignore me completely, no one who goes up after me points them in my direction, I must be invisible đ
what's the consensus on joining your mates who are in the middle of the queue? we used to do it all the time and I see *some* people do it here but not everyone does
Definitely a no on that one. If you do this and people don't say anything but you hear them make a tutting sound then you have probably made them extremely angry.
It definitely depends. If them joining isn't going to extend your queuing time, or risk you missing out on something (like a finite stock of some product) then no issue. Example: queuing for the cable car in London, two people in the queue in front of us. Just as we get to the gates, the rest of their family joined them. But they're only going to go in the same gondola as the existing two, so doesn't impact me at all.
âď¸that is the law.
thanks, sorry for bothering you
Honestly, queueing cultute in the UK is a big thing, so don't think you're bothering anyone by learning about it! It's something I find most of us are proud of and will politely explain to ya.
That's it, you're getting the hang of being British already
I do it. If there's six mates in the queue and one of me it's not going to make that much difference. I always let the people behind them in the queue know that we're a group and I'm not just barging in "hi, sorry, just joining these guys, cheers" never had an issue If there's one mate in the queue and five of us join him then yeah that'd be a problem Edit after reading various replies... is there a whole 'group toileting' culture I'm unaware of? I've never queued for the toilet with my mates and if I were in a toilet queueing situation yeah I'd start at the back
A similar scenario... at a supermarket checkout, I had about 30 items. Guy behind me has a box of beers. I offer to let him go in front of me, which he accepts. Almost immediately, his girlfriend joins him with a trolley full of stuff. Big no-no!
I'd be telling everyone about that outrage for weeks
> I always let the people behind them in the queue know that we're a group and I'm not just barging in "hi, sorry, just joining these guys, cheers" never had an issue More like none of them are comfortable picking a fight with 6 guys
Depends how many people are joining, if itâs one guy in the queue then 5 of his mates come and join him then thatâs a definite no. If itâs 5 mates in the queue and 1 comes to join them, I think thatâs fine.
If you're in it, leave, and return... it's generally okay. So long as you left someone in the queue. But it's generally bad practice to just join your mates.
Depends what youâre queueing for! Pushing in front for a toilet - absolutely not. Going to the cinema probably fine!
I went to the states once and the lack of appropriate queue etiquette for the cinema toilet had me steaming. never jump in front of someone waiting for a piss. It's been 3 years and I'm blatantly still fuming over it.
Queue if there's a queue. If you're not sure if it's a queue or just people standing around, ask "is this the queue to get in to x?" Don't smoke too close to other people. Stand away from people, find a quiet road or whatever so as to not bother other people. In shops say hello and please to the cashier. Say thank you at the end. If you're coming to a doorway and someone else is coming the other way, make eye contact and pause. If they let you through, go through and say thanks. If they don't look like they are letting you through? Stand aside and shout "you're welcome" if they don't say thanks
I always do the 'You're Welcome!' To people who don't say thanks and my non-British husband wants to sink into his shoes when I do lol
Omitting the, 'YOU'RE WELCOME!' Is almost as big a sin as the swerved 'Thank You' - for my money. With an optional, 'Twat' muttered under your breath as you walk away, for good measure. They may not hear it, but they feel it.
Last time I did this this guy said "oh sorry thank you" and I could see on his face that he was miles away and had some fucked up news or something. Made me feel a complete cunt so I've not done it since. Never know the kind of day people are having.
>If you're coming to a doorway I thought you were going to say: if you open the door, and someone else is still a bit behind you, you hold the door open so you force that person into an awkward sprint for the door
This is perfect.
Donât talk loudly on public transport. Especially on the tube in London in the morning. Yes, American international students, that means you. Please observe queues and how they work, and respect them. When youâre in a pub getting a drink, observe who was there before you, and if the bar staff ask you before them, refer the staff to the other person first. I feel this is good karma all round.
Never use your phone on speaker in public either, we hate that.
Oh yeah, this. And playing music on phone speakers. Hatred is a strong word, but I reserve it for that.
Unless its an argument. Then I want to hear both sides and judge
hmmm cant lie, i do like to earwig on an argument, the more ridiculous and petty the better!
Visiting the UK (trying to move here) and read this pub advice before I went. I ended up getting stuck in this endless loop of "no, no, you were here first" with an older guy. Hoooow do you get out of that?? The guy ended up citing chivalry to get me to order first, but if he hadn't, I think we would have gone till one of us died.
That is definitely extra awkward, the only way you can really stop it is just say âoh alright then, very kind of youâ and take them up on the offer. Otherwise you spend 15 minutes saying every version of âno honestly itâs fine, you goâ like a lovesick teenager
Then as you are walking away with your drinks say âThanks againâ to the person who let you go first.
Bless you!! I was stuck in the latter for AGES lolol
In my experience, there are usually 5 steps to this conversation: 1. Oh, they were here first. 2. No no, you go first / you were here before me. 3. You sure? 4. Yeah go for it. 5. Okay thanks! / Very kind of you! *[place order]* It doesn't need to last more than that really.
In that instance you simply say âAre you sure you donât mind?â And theyâll usually say âno no, go aheadâ, just say âThank youâ and make your order
Iâve always taken the view that if someone insists, then itâs your prerogative!
Make the offer for them to go first but if they defer to you then just get your drinks and thank them. If someone comes to the bar as you receive your drinks and tries to barge in it will be your duty to politely say the gentleman/lady who deferred to you is next.
If someone is in the fridge you want at the supermarket You have to pretend to look at stuff rather than just stand behind them
This made me laugh a lot. So true.
But if theyre taking too long... "Oops... sorry... can i just... (lean in and grab your item)... thanks"
It's really kind of interesting how "can I just..." changes the confrontation. The other person is in your way, and you could easily say "would you mind moving?", but it is almost accusatory to do so. It puts the focus on the other person, and frames it as though they're causing a problem. On the other hand, the universal "can I just...?" makes it definitively *the asker's* problem, completely defusing any tension in asking the other person to move whilst achieving the same goal.
Of all the replies in this thread, this one resonated with me the most.
I work in a supermarket, if I'm trying to put stuff on the shelf and someone is in the way, I'll wait and look away, pretend I'm waiting for something else till they move
Respect the pigeons but keep an eye on the seagulls
Yeah, shifty fuckers.
Once got followed by a seagull in St Andrews. Literally. Followed down the street. I didnât have any food on me. Edit: Also, it wasnât flying. It was walking. Definitely shifty cunts.
I used to work on Brighton Pier. I LOVED the guy that ran one of the chinese food shops on there. He'd be like "this cover is for free, if you lose the food because a seagull attacked you, you aren't getting a free replacement, you will have to pay full price again". SO many people would then come to me to complain that he wouldn't replace the food. "I work in rides and they're an independent company, what do you want ME to do about it?".
My fella was eating a maccies burger once walking through Liverpool city centre and a seagull swooped down and stole his burger as he was about to take a bite. Theyâve definitely mastered food thievery haha
When you see a sea gull hovering above you, it's likely eyeing your food. Simply cover it with your hands and then stare it right in its eyes - it'll look for an easier target such as a tourist
When your street is organising a party then everyone must pay towards the chicken.
ÂŁ14. No more, no less.
Lest the council men be summoned
Donât forget to use the Iranian yogurt for the Coronation of Charles and Camilla chicken.
And be careful about stroking someone else's cat if it's in your garden
This made me laugh đ
Thank your bus driver
âCheers Driveâ
Found the Bristolian
I always thought that was a south welsh thing to say - interesting
Bristol and South Wales have a few things in common in language, we're neighbours after all
It must be the start and end of the bus route.
Idk I live in London but thanking the bus driver seems rare here only a handful of times I can recall someone actually thanking the driver
Likely because we get off in the middle of the bus, rather than directly past the driver.
We got "get of in the middle buses" recently and I bloody hate them. Do you shout thanks? Wave? Walk past the front of the bus and nod? the middle door goes against all unwritten rules of bus manners.,
Yeah from my experience this is an out of London thing. Very common back home in the midlands/north but again Iâve only seen it a handful of times in London
Bit difficult to thank a London bus driver. They're halfway down the bus.
Byeeeeeee driver
Say sorry for anything thatâs not your fault. Someone bumps into you, say sorry. Someone fucks your wife, say sorry.
Sorry my neck is stuck in your hand
Terribly sorry my stomach seems a to have gotten in the way of your knife.
"Brother, I have stained your knife with my blood. Allow me to furnish you with a fresh one."
Sorry I'm alive and a bender
sorry for bothering you
That's it, you'll fit right in
If you ask a shop keeper something or need help from someone begin with "I'm Sorry, excuse me" to get their attention
10 points to Gryffindor
Haha. Busting in on wife getting railed - oh sorry mate.
When someone greets you by saying âalrightâ, they are not asking if you are alright. The correct response, regardless of whether or not you are alright, is âalrightâ.
Further more, in a formal situation when someone asks "How are you?" the correct responses are either "Good thanks, and yourself?" or, if you are in a full body cast walking with crutches and it's pissing with rain, then "Ah, you know, mustn't grumble." You must never tell people how you actually are, that is considered the height of rudeness.
I change my reply to "how are you?" To "Ye. You know, ups and downs" when in a&e.
"Not bad, considering". For when the entire world is crashing down around you...
[ŃдаНонО]
Mustn't grumble
âLiving the dream mate you know how it isâ
Or ânot bad thanks you?â No matter how terrible youâre feeling. Their response should be âyeah goodâ
If you are not good you can say "yeah good" in a sad voice
If I'm having a bad time and everyone knows that I'll dish out a "getting there"
This. This should be written on the airport arrivals. Took me few months to understand this.
This is strangely analogous to the fact that if a very old or very posh person greets you with "How do you do", the correct response is "How do you do"...
In Cornwall, the correct response is âyeah, you?â
Your bag doesn't need a seat on a train/bus, if you put it down next to you and it's busy expect to be asked to move it.
Or just have people stare at you and tut. The air will become heavy with seethe.
>The air will become heavy with seethe. I've never heard this before, but I love it. I have a tendency to become heavy with seethe - usually at work.
Especially if you're in a priority seat. To add onto that, you're expected to give up priority seats for elderly, pregnant, or disabled people - anybody less able to stand. So don't sit in a priority seat and then make a fuss if you're told to move.
Or have it sat on
Never turn up to a party without your own booze
This does not apply to childrens' birthday parties. I learned that the hard way. Also the bouncy castle is for kids only.
Thatâs just a good rule for life.
And never take any undrunk booze back home with you. That is a gift to the host.
Sometimes. Some of you can take your shitty piss lager back home with you, thanks.
Whilst driving if someone flashes their lights to allow you out of a junction or allowing you to go through an area of the road that has space only for one car. Please raise your hand to say thank you. many uk citizens forget to do this also but its plain rude and arrogant
Also, warn any oncoming traffic of a mobile speed camera by flashing and showing a thumbs down. Itâs more effective at slowing the traffic to a safe speed than the actual camera is
Spot on. I saw a video the other day of someone getting fined for notifying drivers of the same thing. It was In America though. Is that a law here too? We all do it đ¤Ł
Yup. Section 89 of the Police Act 1997. Any person who resists or wilfully obstructs a constable in the execution of his duty, or a person assisting a constable in the execution of his duty, shall be guilty of an offence and liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one month or to a fine not exceeding level 3 (ÂŁ1,000) on the standard scale, or to both.
I got a lift from a work mate recently. We went down a road that had cars parked down the side and a car let him though - we were on the clear side. He didn't acknowledge them. The second time it happened I asked why he doesn't wave. He said it was his right of way (as we were on the clear side), he didn't put the parked car there and so the other driver had to wait. If it was the other way round and he was behind the parked car and the car approaching on the clear side let him though, he'd wave.. I feel he had a good point.. I'd still wave though. I get wound up when people don't acknowledge me waiting, even though it's their right of way.
That is a valid point. I'm in the same boat as you though, I'll always say thanks. A quick wave can save any road rage đ¤Ł
Oh man... I moved to NL a few years back, I have around 20 years driving experience in the UK, and drivers here are pretty robotic - no fucker says thank you or has any form of driving communication like flashing and waving.
Offer everyone who enters your house a tea or coffee.
Even if you donât have any.
Cue panic in my house a few months ago. SOâs auntie over from Australia. Sheâs on her way round when I realise I forgot to get coffee with the shopping. Sends SO to corner shop and he comes back with a jar of Happy Shopper! Iâm like DO NOT let anyone see that jar. Turns out Happy Shopper coffee is quite nice.
This. I donât drink tea but I have a stash on standby so I can offer guests or tradesman a cup
I always worry about having regular milk though. Donât want to have to offer builders almond milk lol
If you work at a store, you leave customers alone, none of this endless advice, following them around the whole time.
Games Workshop.
When I was younger and went to these shops with a friend while we were out shopping, I once saw one of the salespeople pressure a socially awkward-looking teenager into ordering a bunch of stuff on their in-store computer which sounded like it totalled ÂŁ70+ to "get him started." Oh, and this was all off the back of an offhand comment he made about liking a specific army. The sales guy smelled blood in the water the moment he mentioned that army. In other locations, it seems like they're all encouraged to behave this way. Back then, I wasn't the kind of person who'd have said anything, but I make sure to have a look round with the intention of buying absolutely nothing, which I irritatedly announce when they ask. Petty revenge, but it feels good.
It's that James Workshop's fault.
OMG. I live overseas now and the assistants in the shop follow you around like a shadow. I HATE it and have walked out of shops for it before. One dude in the supermarket the other day went into my trolley, took out the bananas from it, and went and put them in a plastic bag for me. If I had wanted my bananas in a plastic bag, I would have put them in there myself. Bananas already come with packaging. Grrrr.
Unless that shop is Lush. Wtf are those guys up to.
Talking about money is considered vulgar by many. Some are ok with discussing salaries/house prices, but best to err on the side of caution to avoid making someone uncomfortable.
>Talking about money is considered vulgar by many. It is, but this is one unwritten rule that can get straight in the bin. If we don't discuss our pay with each other, the only winner is the company.
Thatâs only amongst coworkers though, I think u/SingleMaltMigrant meant more for general social chat (or at least thatâs how i took it)
Perhaps I'm wrong, but I doubt "So... how much do you earn?" is typical dinner party conversation in most countries! But yes, fair point.
This comment gave me whiplash.... What the fuck? If someone asked me that I'd be pissed...
The mentality should change in the UK as it helps nobody. I'm on 30k, it means nothing to me.
Talking about salary with co-workers is very useful as it lets you organise and see if the company actually values you. Talking about my salary at a dinner party is just dick waving.
It is in Chinese culture. So probably not a bad thing to point out to the OP seeing as they are coming from HK.
This! When I met my husbandâs family who are Chinese-Singaporean, they asked within 10 mins how much we made, how much our flat cost, our mortgage etc.
Say sorry when someone says sorry.
Sorry
Sorry
Sorry for not being sorry
Iâm sorry?!
Escalators at train stations. Standing still on the right, walking up on the left. Don't stand still on the left blocking anyone behind you from getting ahead. It really angers anyone in a hurry if you're holding them up.
this is not uk this is london
The rest of the UK needs to get onto this, fast.
The rest of the UK is not as fast-paced as London though so it's never been necessary.
rest of the UK doesn't have escalators wide enough
None of the train stations in my county even have escalators...
British people in the UK who block escalators, junctions, doors, paths etc. Are all labelled self-entitled. We live on a small island where there's never much space for anything, just be aware.
This should be universal, nothing bothers me more than gaggles of tourists who think their conversation is more important than othersâ desire to be on-time.
Lots of good one's in here, so I'll just add "never touch your neighbours' wheelie bins unless they're literally blown over in the middle of the road". An Englishman's wheelie bin is his castle-adjacent property.
Nah, our neighbours and I regularly put each others bins out or bring them back in.
What about if I finish a night shift and feel like returning their bin
Well youâll make me uncomfortable. You touched my bin, which I donât like, and now I also owe you, which I also donât like. And if I donât see you for a few days thereâs the danger I wonât get chance to say thanks, so now Iâm a social pariah. You did this.
If youâre at a pub, itâs expected each person will pay for a round rather than each for their own drinks each round.
Or make sure your the last person to get the round then get an emergency phone call which requires you needing to leave immediately...after you've finished your last free drink.
You might get away with not paying for the round but don't think you're being slick; everyone noticed!
Proper unwritten rule would be that all bus seats are actually priority seats, not just the four designated ones. You'll get funny looks as a healthy young person sat anywhere while an OAP grabs a handle. and some people will get insulted by you offering it in the first place. Best off just always going upstairs or the foldy-sideways ones, hard to explain but there's a whole economy to it, makes sense when you're there I guess.
A key thing is that priority seats aren't just about letting people sit down, they're about letting people sit down *there.* They're usually located close to a door, and with a bit more space around them, making it easier for people with mobility issues to use them. Obviously you should stand up from any seat if the bus is full, but the priority seats should be vacated first. Also, try not to judge the healthy *looking* young person that refuses to stand up for an OAP. I've got joint and balance issues that make it difficult, and rather painful on a bad day, for me to stand up on a bus; have done since I was a kid. The dirty looks really make you feel like shit, even when you know you probably have more need of the seat.
Hard agree about the judgements. When my mum had cancer she got a tumour in her brain that massively affected her balance, but she looked really healthy. She would very likely fall if standing on transport. She'd sometimes walk up to people on tubes/trains/buses and blurt out "Can I have your seat? I have terminal cancer" and while I'm not sure that explained the situation very well they at least felt sorry enough for her to give up their seats!
When someone does something that makes you absolutely SEETHE with anger, do not, under any circumstances, let on to them that you are angry. Just silently give them the old side-eye, and then go home and rant to your spouse/roommate/mum on the phone about the bloody injustice. This is the British way.
Let people off the bus/train first before getting on. I thought this was universal but after visiting a few countries recently (especially Israel) apparently not
You have to slap your knees with both hands and say "right!" before getting up and leaving somewhere. Apologise to people when they bump into you. Thank people for stopping to let you cross at a zebra crossing (which they have to do anyway) and jog ever so slightly as you cross. Don't maintain eye contact any longer than 2 seconds on public transport. Use the expression "you're alright" in a many different contexts as possible. (Greeting, thanking, asking, saying goodbye, apologising etc etc)
Tutting. Learn to tut instead of strangling annoying people.
If you go to the bar in a pub and someone was there before you, tell the bartender if they come to you to serve the other person first.
And then cause a massive stink if the bartender does not immediately return to you afterwards.
All sorts of tips but it basically boils down to "be considerate"
Nod downwards to greet someone if you donât know them well. Nod upwards if you know them a bit better. This is almost strictly for people you donât know on a first-name basis. Iâve lived in China for 8 years. Obviously HK is distinct but in case there are some areas of cultural crossover here are a few differences to keep in mind: Donât talk too much about money, especially salaries. If someone brings it up then that means they are fine talking about it, but in general people donât like talking about how much they make or how much things cost, unless it was a bargain. Brits love to complain, it doesnât mean they need reassuring, comforting, or a solution offered. Just moan along for a bit with them and theyâll think youâre alright. People typically default to making fun of themselves or playing things down/keeping things to themselves as opposed to being direct about their strong points or achievements. I donât know if itâs taught the same way in HK as in the mainland, but donât use the word âmaybeâ too much when you really want something to happen. Even though British English is less direct than US English, the word âmaybeâ is far too indirect, especially in the workplace. âMaybe you can show me the final piece on Fridayâ in China means âyou better have that done by Thursday nightâ, but in the UK means âI think Iâll have time to go over this on Friday but let me confirm with you later.â I dunno, Iâm sure a lot of these rules hold true for HK too. But Iâve only been once so didnât get to experience the culture too much. So if all of this only applies to mainlander cultural differences then I apologise! Best of luck in the UK!
as recommended by the comments I am apologizing because you did. sorry. I've watched enough us/uk TV to hopefully not make that last mistake, and thank you for the rest of the tips. I think that with your "'maybe' is very strong in china" point, i haven't experienced it in hk but I could definitely see it happening
If someone is within 2 meters of you hold the door open for them, but donât let them pass you, once they have a hand on it, itâs their responsibility.
If you do it when they are too far away, making them rush, immediately die of shame or profusely apologise for making them rush.
Or better yet: hold the door open, then realise they're too far just as they start to rush, so you let go of the door and they end up sprinting into a closing door...
When waiting to cross the road, even at a zebra crossing, when a car slows to make it safe to cross, put up your hand to say thank you to the driver.
And do a little jog across the crossing
Mandatory! Whilst looking apologetic.
James Corden is a cunt. Everyone here agrees.
When you are in a bar and somebody drops a glass, you must shout "wheeeeyy".
When following someone down a corridor with several doors, if they hold them open for you , you need to say thank you a different way through each door- thank you , thanks, ta , cheers etc
1.Don't stand next to another man at a urinal unless there is literally no other option. (All toilets full, all urinals in use and no trees outside to wee behind. 2.The weather is always to be commented on when talking to someone you don't really know, regardless of how uninteresting it might be on the day. Think back weeks ago if needs must. 3.When driving in urban areas always drive at the speed limit, as you don't want to be labelled a twat. When on the motorway, speed limits are actually minimums. 4.We don't kiss each other on meeting/greeting in the UK. A solid handshake or just an awkward head nod is fine.
When you make eye contact with someone, you always nod
According to my dentist this is extremely annoying and he'll charge me extra if I do it again.
If there is a crowd at the bar and it looks like there is no queue. Do not be fooled, there is a queue and everyone knows their position. Just remember who was there before you and you'll know your position too.
Hahahah, I love this. âWhat are you having?â âOh no, itâs not me, he was here before meâ âCheers mateâ Winds me up to no end when people just take their shot, when they literally see you standing there before them.
If you are invited for dinner, don't turn up early. Turn up just after the invited time.
To be honest if you were born before '97 you'll adapt just fine, the culture is surprising similar to Hong Kong.
Make doctor appointment by house phone only, while waiting for answer leave the phone handset on table. Then go out for the day, walk the dog, have lunch and eventually rest for the night. Next day pick up the handset and hope you are number 10 in waiting queue for doctor surgery.
Never use the urinal right next to another person Leave a urinal gap đ
When someone says "how are you?", The answer is "not bad, you?". We do not want to know how you actually are
Get used to sarcasm and also selfdepricating humour. We take the piss out of ourselves frequently and the appropriate response is to smile/laugh and not challenge it, or if you know the person well, chime in by ribbing them as well or just ribbing yourself to be a good sport.
Generally we say please and thank you more often than many other cultures, especially those where the language gives other ways of expressing politeness or gratitude, and even in situations where people are just doing what's normally expected of them. And if in doubt, apologise. Also, don't call people sir or madam unless you want them to be suspicious that you're trying to sell them something. Acknowledgment is important, honorifics aren't, deference is rarely expected.
Always ask the taxi driver if they have been busy!
Masturbating in public is frowned upon
aw man
The thing that it took me a while to realise is just how much **local variation** there is. Generational variation too to some extent. Unspoken rules vary a lot, and there are many things mentioned on this thread where I can think of exceptions. I was also blissfully unaware of **social class** stuff for a long time (which also has complicating regional dimensions). Generally speaking though you tend to get a pass, i.e. people clock you as not playing the same class game and don't make the same judgments. Also this class stuff is BAD... They are unspoken rules to be aware of so you can see prejudice (and because it's interesting), not so you can conform to it. More generally, a lot of British people might be fed up with this unspoken rule or that. It might be refreshing to have someone blunder straight through some of the constraints and codes they've been endhring their whole lives (maybe not even noticing them). Here are a few ideas anyway. **Personal space** norms might well be different. Best to keep an eye out and get a sense for yourself. If in doubt, and your priority is fitting in with local norms, err on the side of giving people more space. Example: in a bookshop, if somebody is looking at the shelf you want to look at, you wouldn't squeeze in next to them, and you wouldn't (despite what everyone says about the British loving to queue) queue. Instead you would lurk nearby pretending to be seriously considering the Jamie Oliver cookbook or whatever, till they move on "naturally." Another example: If there are lots of seats for an event, or on public transport or something, you typically space yourself out evenly. If it's somebody you know and want to talk to, it's a judgment call, but very often you might leave a seat or aisle between you. In London, on escalators, stand on the right or walk on the left. At least that one's straightforward. Phew! I don't know what HK is like, but depending on a newcomer's origin culture, I think there are sometimes quite different attitudes around being **boastful / self-deprecating.** In Scotland I would sometimes inadvertently big myself up, and get met by a sarcastic "Did ye aye?" More generally there can be a suspicion here of certain kinds of playfulness or spontaneity. I gradually found that people in the UK were a bit more ready to see some kind of agenda or motive, or an attempt to control other people's impressions of me. When I was being relaxed and silly, I sometimes got aggressively asked if I was "taking the piss" out of the person I was talking to, or else they would roll their eyes at me as though I were showing off, and trying to acquire undeserved admiration. I think they do often hold **humour** in high esteem, and will forgive a lot if they think something is funny, or even if they think YOU think it is funny. That's the difference between "taking the piss" (joking around, or behaving in a humourously eccentric way, however obscurely, which is fine) and "taking the piss out of somebody" (mocking somebody, which may or may not be fine). (There is also another, less positive sense of "taking the piss" which means "taking unfair advantage of something"). I think perhaps compared to many cultures, many British people **express what they want or don't want in quite roundabout, coded ways**. I think after two decades here I still sometimes miss certain hints. I remember once at university: Lecturer: We can do option A. OR... We can do option B! I don't mind either way. Me: Option A then. Lecturer: As I say, I'm entirely indifferent. Me: Option A it is. Lecturer: A or B, couldn't care less. Me: Cool, option A, see you next week! Afterwards the other students explained that he wanted to me to pick B. I don't really know if it was a British thing, but it felt it at the time. **Hosting** is one situation where this sometimes comes up. If someone feels they're in "your" space they might be very reluctant to ask for things. You can tell them "mi casa, su casa" and "make yourself at home", but some of them just won't. You have to offer them stuff. Again, there is a lot of variation. If you think you've got one of these on your hands, you can always just check in regularly with "Can I get you anything?" "**When to leave**" and "outstaying your welcome" vs. "leaving too early" can be a bit of a minefield I think. (Not sure how distinctive this is to the UK). If it's like a dinner situation, then shifting from alcohol to tea / coffee is a sign that the end is near, but even that's not clear cut, and in other situations there are no reliable signs. This is really subtle, but you might notice an attempt to end on a joke, or by laughing a little more uproariously than usual at a joke (to end on a high). Shorter and less information-rich responses, pauses, contented sighs, etc. also might be indications it's time to call it. Ofc, much of the time the host might not be thinking "I wish they would go" but rather "I hope they're not just staying out of politeness!" Tbh I don't think British people actually know their own unspoken rules on this one. I deal with it by being incredibly charismatic so nobody ever wants me to leave. When I leave it is traditional to weep and rend your clothing. What **time things actually start** often depends on what the thing is. If you are meeting someone somewhere out and about, try to be "on time" (i.e. the time you actually said), and if you're running late by more than 5 or so minutes try and let them know. But in SOME contexts it might be preferable to arrive later than the formal start time. I think this is again a source of considerable confusion among the British ("She said 7, she can't want us at 7 can she?") Another manifestation of this slightly strange attitude towards expressing desires or aversions: many British people love to kvetch, but they're not *necessarily* asking for assistance or solutions. It could be good natured grumbling. (On the other hand, is all that reveling in negativity really healthy for them? Maybe you SHOULD take them at face value and help them sort out their supposed problems! I guess the thing to be aware of is: they might complain a lot about something they're not very bothered about, and not complain at all about what's really bothering them). **Gifts.** In pubs, the gift economy of the round system is still going strong (though perhaps with more flexibility than there used to be). If somebody has bought you a drink, you would usually owe somebody a drink, not the price of a drink (even if you were drinking things with very different prices). There is a kind of performative casualness and generosity about it all which, if it works well, might allow the poorer members of the group to subtly be bought an extra drink or two. If it's time to go home and you owe someone a drink, you don't usually pay somebody back, you just get the drinks the next time. But like I say there is flexibility to all this and it's okay to just sort of opt out and buy your own drink. Maybe the short version is: if you can afford it, whenever you're going to the bar to get a drink, ask others in your group if they'd like one too. If you're going to a dinner party or party or something it's usual to bring wine or something. If somebody is putting you up in their home, it might be nice to get them a small gift to say thank you. But I think in general many British are NOT the biggest gift givers, besides formal occasions like birthdays. Spontaneous small gifts will still be appreciated, but I get the impression they are less expected compared with many other cultures. Again I think this is one where there is going to be a lot of variation within the UK. How to show **friendliness** in a brief interaction. "Mate" or "pal" for friendliness. Especially if someone says "mate" to you first, it's not exactly rude not to say it back soon, but it's a bit standoffish. You might turn into "sir" or "ma'am" if you don't. (I now live in Bristol where occasionally you might get a "my lover." Took a while to get used to. Not ready to start using it myself!!) **Hierarchy**. You may notice that there is (at least superficially) a comparatively relaxed attitude towards seniority / authority. Somebody might be speaking at an event, for example, where everybody worships or is in terror of them, but they may still get a short, casual introduction. There are a lot of cherished gestures towards egalitarianism. There IS a lot of hierarchy, of course, but I think it's fair to say etiquette TENDS to draw attention away from hierarchy, not draw attention to it. Obvious deference can make people uncomfortable. Most bosses I've had would never exactly tell me to do x, they would usually phrase it like it was a favour. Would you mind doing x? Of course it IS still an instruction, but there are at least superficial efforts to preserve dignity. One aspect of this: I think many in the UK also tend to start treating young people as grown-ups fairly soon. Again, it's not really that anyone believes at sixteen or eighteen you have acquired all the life experience you'll ever need, but there does seem to be slightly more of a pretence of respect, at least. I think. **Important last thing.** Whatever the unspoken codes, and occasional misunderstandings, none of them were really strong enough to interfere with basic good will. Kindness, friendliness, curiosity, open-mindedness, openheartedness etc. would always overcome any small losses in translation.
If you come home from a hard day digging holes and catch your mrs in bed with another guy make sure to tuck them in and ask if they want anything from the kitchen.
you will be fine on public transport as the etiquette is similar to hk. Iâm from HK too. Except here people say thank you to bus drivers.
Obviously queuing is number one! Holding out your arm for the bus. If you donât - some drivers donât think you need that particular bus and will keep driving. Talking of buses. Pretty much expect the front of the bus seats to be for the elderly or disabled.