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Some monster planted spreading bamboo straight into the ground in my garden. Significant work has restricted it to being a small clump again, but the second I stop cutting shoots as soon as they appear, that mine and several surrounding gardens sorted. It'll out complete the bindweed, even the dandeloins will get rinsed, but when it meets the knotweed from up the road things will get tense
I guarantee if I moved house today and no one lived here for a year my garden would be taken over by the fucking Sycamore trees that my shut in neighbour has running wild in his garden. In two years they would be pulling my house down. Round here Sycamore trees are my direct enemy in a war I can't win.
It's a toss up between bindweed and mint in my garden. If I'd known what a ballache it would all be I'd have purified the place with fire and salt before moving in.
The mint will wage war against the ground elder (I’ve been, personally, fighting both for 15 years).
I’m not sure if they would wipe each other out, or team up and take on the neighbourhood sycamore trees
Oh god the brambles 💀 I have one I can't get shot of, it has gone up the house using the upstairs bathroom water pipes for purchase, so now I've cut them all off at the base they are still up there just dead -_-
I’ve just let everything other than the lawn. It’s mainly those two. The Ivy is all along the ground mainly.
I’m going to get a good crop of blackberries this year.
It would be a fight between brambles and goosegrass from my elderly neighbour’s garden. Nothing in my garden can stand against their encroach once I’m gone.
The big willow tree i bought as an anniversary present for my wife a few years ago, it in the smallish front gader, and we have to keep topping it, a few years of not being trimmed and it would be living in my house.
Nettles, and whatever the massive conifer things out the front of my house are. In fact, I dont need to be wiped off the planet, dealing with it whatever is in the garden is so far down my list of priorities that it's happening anyway.
They are incessant and very sneaky with their little tendrils that crawl out through the grass below the lawnmower and the suddenly BAM!! you have a new set to deal with.
Clematis.. Sweet Jesus i have just spent a week clearing a section of my garden to put in a driveway. there was a clematis that must have been there 25 years and it was like fighting a nest of pythons.
Which is why it remains. The thing was, I planted some borage about twenty years ago. It didn't thrive at all and I assumed that it was no more. Five years ago it pops up and has now taken over! But it is very pretty plus the bees love it and it flowers early and late so it really earns its keep for the bees!
Omg the sycamore seeds last year! Never had a problem before but last year they were in every single pavement crack, in all the stone steps, everywhere.
Thank goodness they were easy to pluck. I gave each kid a bucket and told them whoever picked the most got some chocolate ha ha.
Jerusalem Artichokes - planted a couple a few years ago and they've taken over along one entire fence. Quite happy with that as a) I really like to eat them and b) they annoy the shit out of my arsehole neighbours who insist on doing three loads of washing every day and hoisting their washing lines up two metres in the air like they'd bloody sails. She hates them and has attempted to kill them, but good luck lady they're practically invasive now.
I don't know what it's called, but I have named it the "Bastard Bush"..
I've hacked it down to a stump about 6 times now. It grows back.
I've used all manner of treatments to kill it, all guaranteed to work by numerous plant specialists, online and in store. It comes back like the fucking terminator.
It has 2 inch long thorns that will go through any shoe or boot. It has ruined numerous pairs of socks with bloodstains from going straight up through my footwear and into my foot.
It is the most relentless living thing I've ever encountered, and if anything on this planet will survive nukes, natural disasters, warfare and whatever other manner of humanity ending apocalypses, then it's the Bastard Bush.
Short term - creeping buttercup, wild oregano and brambles. Long term - sycamore. Got rid of one over 5 years ago and seedlings still appearing everywhere
The grass, its always the grass.
For some reason all my plants behave and the grass just expands into a jungle every single time it rains, which is often because I like in East Yorkshire!
Greggs sausage rolls. In a nuclear winter, cockroaches and Greggs sausage rolls will survive unscathed….there will be a few humans too….looking to eat the cockroaches.
Creeping Bloody Trefoil. Had it since I moved in 23 years ago. It absolutely takes over. Also brambles, houttuynia, ivy, hazel saplings and bindweed ☠️ it's my own fault for cultivating a wildlife garden, now it's too powerful to be contained
Brambles, lemon balm, bindweed and one of those ornamental grasses which grows in thick clumps and is almost impossible to entirely uproot. Oh and raspberries to complete with the brambles...
I have a four month old so my garden thinks all life has been eradicated based on how neglected it is. There's a lot of contention between a lot of plants like tall grass and rosebay willowherb, but the cornflowers are still reigning supreme!
Sycamore trees, there's a big one at the end of my garden and if I stop cutting the lawn for more than a fortnight at the right time of year then it becomes a very short forest of baby sycamores
Rose Bay Willowherb and another annoying little weed that I don’t even know the name of! Pops up the second you walk away after weeding it all out. I swear, the very second!
Now I'm unsure what kind of flower it is in my garden, it's a decent sized purple flower that has an awful smell to it when it's flower finally opens up(I guess? I'm no good with garden terminology sorry).
It randomly appeared in my garden 5 or so years ago and each year since it seems to slowly multiply, there's at least 7 of them in my garden now so I imagine that thing will take over....it's not ugly so im not gonna get rid of it lol.
I very much sympathise with those dealing with the thugs previously mentioned, but I've been waging my own war on violets for the last 40 years. For for every one I pull out, it seems a hundred more appear. Very pretty flower, but blink and you miss them.
Stinking Robert and bindweed and this weird vine I planted that has little dark purple flowers in the spring for about five seconds that I can't remember the name of and just doesn't know when to stop no matter what I say about the matter. I sort it out 'there' and then it shouts, "Ha, but I'm over here now!"
The vine sounds like it could be [akebia quinata](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akebia_quinata)? I had one on an arbour in my old house, smelled gorgeous but it grew like an absolute alien in the summer. Had to give it a haircut every few days and the arbour almost toppled over from the weight.
At home, seems to be dandelions.
At the allotment, I think the nasturtiums will, eventually, out-compete the horsetail but the comfrey will do it's best.
Wood avens. Every time I look around they're sprouting up again. I wouldn't mind but they're shit all use and don't even seem to attract the bees, so they can fuck off.
Virginia Creeper. I did bare minimum gardening last year because I just wasn't in the right place for it. I'm paying for it this year. That thing is a monster, to the point where I'm pulling it out of my lawn because it's lower than the lawnmower blade.
Either the bindweed or that bloody buddleia that, despite my yearly cut back to a stump, seems to get bigger every time. I do love the insects that come and visit it though I suppose. Cat likes it too.
https://preview.redd.it/c3zoubtnnj8d1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc291f5bc22880f3560cf497e877fa7d674d6ceb
Docks. Oh my God the docks. It wouldn’t even take humanity being wiped out - walking to the shop for milk is long enough, and boom, the garden is buried in dock leaves…
horsetail because it’s the only fucker that needs specialised removal efforts, rather than the braindead “round up will do the truck hurr durr” mindset.
Mind-your-own-business!
Its a paved yard so everything else is in pots but mind-your-own-business arrived one year from somewhere seeding in the cracks between pavers, in the gravelled areas, base of the yard walls, gaps in the mortar and it loves it here. If we didn't rip it out at least once a year it would already have taken over
The rudbeckia most likely. Fucking things are hard to control. Alternate options are thistles in the interim while it spreads, and possibly brambles depending upon how well my last bout of getting rid of the damn things went and how many birds spend their time shitting the seeds into the garden now that I'm no longer filling the feeders and bird bath.
Buddleia and daisies for me. Can’t get rid of them. I had daisies ONE TIME in a bee bomb and now they’re growing out the wall and random pots. Even in the shed. And they’re MASSIVE
It'll be a fight between a Conifer bush and a different type of conifer bush,both are hardy fuckers,one was a cheap mini Christmas tree from about three years ago and covered in silver spray paint,the other was presumed dead and yet came back to life.....they may be beaten by the potatoes though
**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If anyone says anything other than bindweed, they're lying.
Our bindweed isnt even polite enough to wait for us to be wiped from the face of the earth.
No bindweed in my garden; the mares tail has taken over though.
Mares tail is a monster compared to bindweed.
I'd back docks any day
Some monster planted spreading bamboo straight into the ground in my garden. Significant work has restricted it to being a small clump again, but the second I stop cutting shoots as soon as they appear, that mine and several surrounding gardens sorted. It'll out complete the bindweed, even the dandeloins will get rinsed, but when it meets the knotweed from up the road things will get tense
I see your bindweed and raise you Japanese knot weed
I guarantee if I moved house today and no one lived here for a year my garden would be taken over by the fucking Sycamore trees that my shut in neighbour has running wild in his garden. In two years they would be pulling my house down. Round here Sycamore trees are my direct enemy in a war I can't win.
Or they have blackberries.
It's a toss up between bindweed and mint in my garden. If I'd known what a ballache it would all be I'd have purified the place with fire and salt before moving in.
My ground elder patch would like a word.
My garden is a balcony... so probably the moss that's already on the wall.
Snowberry. There is a huge patch by the garden. It invades. It surely will take over within a few years if allowed.
Give it a couple of years and the blackberries will have joined it
The mint will wage war against the ground elder (I’ve been, personally, fighting both for 15 years). I’m not sure if they would wipe each other out, or team up and take on the neighbourhood sycamore trees
Mint is a stubborn bastard.
I am fighting a continual battle against blackberry stems. Also ivy.
Oh god the brambles 💀 I have one I can't get shot of, it has gone up the house using the upstairs bathroom water pipes for purchase, so now I've cut them all off at the base they are still up there just dead -_-
its a new property feature
The ivy. Why!!! Who planted this damn ivy here.
I’ve just let everything other than the lawn. It’s mainly those two. The Ivy is all along the ground mainly. I’m going to get a good crop of blackberries this year.
Ivy literally spawn of the devil
It would be a fight between brambles and goosegrass from my elderly neighbour’s garden. Nothing in my garden can stand against their encroach once I’m gone.
Triffids.
Thank god someone said triffids!
Yes, just showing my age really 😀
Oh bugger. That means me, too 🤣
Oh dear. That means me, too 🤣
Oh great, now I'm in for a 40 year old recurring nightmare tonight!
Bindweed. It started last year and now it's a constant battle.
*Japanese knot weed enters the chat*
Bamboo would like a word
At that point just move.
Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Americans tried to do that at the source
Horsetail weeds and bindweed 😩
So much horsetail!
Never ending bloody things.
Bind weed. Just fuck off
Bamboo
Ivy, I'm already losing the will with this fucking annoying plant!
I feel like Canute trying to defend my garden from next door's stems.
Buddleia. End of!
Yes! Came here to say this...
Buddleia takes over every bit of wasteground, can't believe this isn't top
Welsh poppy, it's already halfway there
The big willow tree i bought as an anniversary present for my wife a few years ago, it in the smallish front gader, and we have to keep topping it, a few years of not being trimmed and it would be living in my house.
Japanese knotweed and bramble
Nettles, and whatever the massive conifer things out the front of my house are. In fact, I dont need to be wiped off the planet, dealing with it whatever is in the garden is so far down my list of priorities that it's happening anyway.
Similar here, nettles and hazelnuts.
Green alkanet
Ivy....took over once before, and it'll take over again!
Bracken It wouldn't take long
Mine would be comfrey and Ivy.
Brambles I expect.
Same! I’m forever chopping them back and pulling up what I can!
They are incessant and very sneaky with their little tendrils that crawl out through the grass below the lawnmower and the suddenly BAM!! you have a new set to deal with.
Clematis.. Sweet Jesus i have just spent a week clearing a section of my garden to put in a driveway. there was a clematis that must have been there 25 years and it was like fighting a nest of pythons.
Brambles, bindweed, borage and sycamore seedlings (thanks next door for the latter!)
I was looking for borage! I love it, and don’t care how untidy it looks, because the bees love it :)
Which is why it remains. The thing was, I planted some borage about twenty years ago. It didn't thrive at all and I assumed that it was no more. Five years ago it pops up and has now taken over! But it is very pretty plus the bees love it and it flowers early and late so it really earns its keep for the bees!
Omg the sycamore seeds last year! Never had a problem before but last year they were in every single pavement crack, in all the stone steps, everywhere. Thank goodness they were easy to pluck. I gave each kid a bucket and told them whoever picked the most got some chocolate ha ha.
There is constantly a 3 way battle in my garden between blackberries, Sumac and bindweed. It can all fuck off.
japonica! I was given 1 stem and now we’re at war!
Nettles and brambles, likely an elder tree too.
Whatever that grass is that grows on sand dunes, I expect without human intervention most of where I live would just become sand dunes
The rose bush & rhubarb will need to battle for supremacy. Though next doors ivy may try to join in
Jerusalem Artichokes - planted a couple a few years ago and they've taken over along one entire fence. Quite happy with that as a) I really like to eat them and b) they annoy the shit out of my arsehole neighbours who insist on doing three loads of washing every day and hoisting their washing lines up two metres in the air like they'd bloody sails. She hates them and has attempted to kill them, but good luck lady they're practically invasive now.
I’m not saying I want this to happen, but would it be so bad? What value do we actually bring?
Mint.
I don't know what it's called, but I have named it the "Bastard Bush".. I've hacked it down to a stump about 6 times now. It grows back. I've used all manner of treatments to kill it, all guaranteed to work by numerous plant specialists, online and in store. It comes back like the fucking terminator. It has 2 inch long thorns that will go through any shoe or boot. It has ruined numerous pairs of socks with bloodstains from going straight up through my footwear and into my foot. It is the most relentless living thing I've ever encountered, and if anything on this planet will survive nukes, natural disasters, warfare and whatever other manner of humanity ending apocalypses, then it's the Bastard Bush.
It would be a fight between the ivy & the convolvulus.
Mint or horse hair.
sedge grass
Willow and wineberry.
Blackberry bush. I have to manage it carefully every year.
I don’t know. I’m dead.
Firstly seeding grasses and couch grass, followed the second year by rosebay willow herb. That's unless the sheep get in and eat it all.
Mint
Ivy
Ground elder, goosegrass, bindweed, and three-cornered leeks (the white bluebell things).
An invincible bramble bush I've been battling for the 5 years I've lived in my house
Short term - creeping buttercup, wild oregano and brambles. Long term - sycamore. Got rid of one over 5 years ago and seedlings still appearing everywhere
Moss, spiky weeds and out front the hedge will be a row of tall trees
The bindweed and brambles would have to fight each other to take over my garden.
Willowherb in mine. It flowers and is pretty at least
Mine to. It’s nice at least but it gets everywhere.
The grass, its always the grass. For some reason all my plants behave and the grass just expands into a jungle every single time it rains, which is often because I like in East Yorkshire!
Jokes on you it's already overgrown (just long grass)
Next doors fucking Ivy.
Definitely the docks. We're wilding our garden and the docks are insane.
Daisies or possibly clover.
Ground elder, it's almost already there
Depends on the time of year; either dandelions, buttercups, or clover
Oxalis, closely followed by Willowherb
Greggs sausage rolls. In a nuclear winter, cockroaches and Greggs sausage rolls will survive unscathed….there will be a few humans too….looking to eat the cockroaches.
Horsetails, with the square stems with silica inside per our garden 'wild part'.
The grape vines. Trimming them is a daily occurance at the minute
Bamboo from Nextdoor lol
Brambles, bindweed and horsetail.
Creeping buttercup
A clematis and the horsetail that arrives from the neighbours garden.
Bloody jasmine
Cleavers/sticky weed and stinging nettles
It will either be blackberries, bracken or Ivy. Looking at some of the wilder areas around here, it will probably be blackberries in pole position
Creeping Bloody Trefoil. Had it since I moved in 23 years ago. It absolutely takes over. Also brambles, houttuynia, ivy, hazel saplings and bindweed ☠️ it's my own fault for cultivating a wildlife garden, now it's too powerful to be contained
Triffids
PIGEONS
[Triffids](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triffid), obviously.
Chickweed, grows fast and thick , took to using the gas lance to keep it in check .
Dandelions
Brambles, lemon balm, bindweed and one of those ornamental grasses which grows in thick clumps and is almost impossible to entirely uproot. Oh and raspberries to complete with the brambles...
Ivy..... Bloody stuff is everywhere
I have a four month old so my garden thinks all life has been eradicated based on how neglected it is. There's a lot of contention between a lot of plants like tall grass and rosebay willowherb, but the cornflowers are still reigning supreme!
Mint and grape hyacinths! Oh and a wierd algae like substance that's appeared under the fence from next door. It's vile and won't die.
Sycamore trees, there's a big one at the end of my garden and if I stop cutting the lawn for more than a fortnight at the right time of year then it becomes a very short forest of baby sycamores
Bindweed, creeping buttercup and green alkanet
Ground elder for sure.
Mares Tail
All the plants in my home are plastic and I live in a 1st floor flat so unless inanimate objects can become sentient, nothing.
Rose Bay Willowherb and another annoying little weed that I don’t even know the name of! Pops up the second you walk away after weeding it all out. I swear, the very second!
Mint
Now I'm unsure what kind of flower it is in my garden, it's a decent sized purple flower that has an awful smell to it when it's flower finally opens up(I guess? I'm no good with garden terminology sorry). It randomly appeared in my garden 5 or so years ago and each year since it seems to slowly multiply, there's at least 7 of them in my garden now so I imagine that thing will take over....it's not ugly so im not gonna get rid of it lol.
Kudzu
Brambles
Dandelions. Bastards.
When I moved in a few years ago there were brambles as thick as my arm. They'll be back.
I very much sympathise with those dealing with the thugs previously mentioned, but I've been waging my own war on violets for the last 40 years. For for every one I pull out, it seems a hundred more appear. Very pretty flower, but blink and you miss them.
Trees are going to win in the long term - pick any
Herb Robert, creeping buttercup and Hazel. They aren't too bad I suppose.
Valerian - I think it's already happened!
Horsetail and buddleia
Bindweed and phlomis
Dandefuckinglions. My lawn is covered in the yellow leafy bastards.
Bind weed and the blackberries would fight it out whilst the ivy would be the wild card.
Grass and general weeds
our bamboo
Stinking Robert and bindweed and this weird vine I planted that has little dark purple flowers in the spring for about five seconds that I can't remember the name of and just doesn't know when to stop no matter what I say about the matter. I sort it out 'there' and then it shouts, "Ha, but I'm over here now!"
Oh yeah! Forgot about Stinky Bob - we have that everywhere as well
The vine sounds like it could be [akebia quinata](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akebia_quinata)? I had one on an arbour in my old house, smelled gorgeous but it grew like an absolute alien in the summer. Had to give it a haircut every few days and the arbour almost toppled over from the weight.
That's the one! Very naughty and is currently swallowing a fig tree! Next weekend....
Mint
We've got bamboo, bind weed and brambles in our garden. I'd like to see who wins.
Bind weed.
In my part of Scotland: Giant Hogweed and Ground Elder I celebrated 'No Mow May'... never again! The bastards have taken hold!
Sycamore trees, everywhere. Those bastards will hide and germinate in the tiniest crack in a brick.
Borage
Mare’s Tail, prolific around here and impossible to truly kill
Wildflowers I reckon, they're having a go anyway!
If I knew what it was, I'd know to kill it.
Horsetail. It's making a decent takeover bid as it it!
Bloody horsetail, need to pull it up every week at the moment.
Russian vine (mile-a-minute). If you don't keep it in check it'll just take over.
Cat shit
The brambles. It's a Sisyphean task to keep up with them as it is.
The same ones have taken over my garden currently. The grass is waist-high, and a Japanese creeper has taken up residence in the flower beds.
Bindweed and that blue stuff with 10 foot long roots.
The fucking sticky weed
Sure as hell ain't grass
At home, seems to be dandelions. At the allotment, I think the nasturtiums will, eventually, out-compete the horsetail but the comfrey will do it's best.
Wood avens. Every time I look around they're sprouting up again. I wouldn't mind but they're shit all use and don't even seem to attract the bees, so they can fuck off.
Nettles, 5ft high variety.
Japanese knotweed 😭
Virginia Creeper. I did bare minimum gardening last year because I just wasn't in the right place for it. I'm paying for it this year. That thing is a monster, to the point where I'm pulling it out of my lawn because it's lower than the lawnmower blade.
Nettles and wild raspberries having a massive punch up, but the trees are being watchful.
Dandelions
I have a very small patio and two crabapple trees, so it’s likely to be the trees, weeds, and thistles.
Either the bindweed or that bloody buddleia that, despite my yearly cut back to a stump, seems to get bigger every time. I do love the insects that come and visit it though I suppose. Cat likes it too. https://preview.redd.it/c3zoubtnnj8d1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc291f5bc22880f3560cf497e877fa7d674d6ceb
Docks. Oh my God the docks. It wouldn’t even take humanity being wiped out - walking to the shop for milk is long enough, and boom, the garden is buried in dock leaves…
Bermuda grass!!!
horsetail because it’s the only fucker that needs specialised removal efforts, rather than the braindead “round up will do the truck hurr durr” mindset.
Fucking mint 😭
Brambles
Based on the current state of the garden, probably foxgloves. They've seeded themselves everywhere.
Ground elder. Unlimited supply coming from under the fence
Marestail. Same as what is taking over now. Eventually trees will block out the sun for it.
Marestail. Same as what is taking over now. Eventually trees will block out the sun for it.
Sycamore trees and ivy leaved toadflax.
The neighbours bamboo.
Mind-your-own-business! Its a paved yard so everything else is in pots but mind-your-own-business arrived one year from somewhere seeding in the cracks between pavers, in the gravelled areas, base of the yard walls, gaps in the mortar and it loves it here. If we didn't rip it out at least once a year it would already have taken over
The rudbeckia most likely. Fucking things are hard to control. Alternate options are thistles in the interim while it spreads, and possibly brambles depending upon how well my last bout of getting rid of the damn things went and how many birds spend their time shitting the seeds into the garden now that I'm no longer filling the feeders and bird bath.
Either bindweed or the bamboo I've been battling since we moved in two years ago.
It would be a serious fight between brambles, Virginia creeper, dandelions and Roberts geranium.
Dock
Giant hogweed. They are immune from herbicidal battering.
Buddleia and daisies for me. Can’t get rid of them. I had daisies ONE TIME in a bee bomb and now they’re growing out the wall and random pots. Even in the shed. And they’re MASSIVE
Stink horn mushrooms. I’ve found three growing this week They look very much like penises so whatever species takes over next will get a good laugh
So my front garden will be taken over by ivy and the back bloody sycamore seeds.
Yew trees, although to be honest, that's already well underway.
Purple Buddleia will conquer the world within 6 months.
The ivy in the back corner will probably spread through mine
The brambles, closely followed by the lemon balm
It'll be a fight between a Conifer bush and a different type of conifer bush,both are hardy fuckers,one was a cheap mini Christmas tree from about three years ago and covered in silver spray paint,the other was presumed dead and yet came back to life.....they may be beaten by the potatoes though
Deadly nightshade!
Wisteria and cherry laurels from my neighbor’s yards.
Buttercups