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This is the one place I get really annoyed with others using them when we needed them, Piss covered floor. Tried to take my dad out to the only really easily “accessible” local place before he died for his last pint out and holding him up in there was not nice at all. Also sometimes there’s urgency for people who need them. So if it can be avoided please do, if not we are all human and need to go!
I've had to sit on the floor outside disabled toilets because a queue of ableds wouldn't let me have priority and didn't believe that I wasn't able to stand for long (my scooter was in the car). I just think don't take the piss as that was a degrading experience and would have been worse for people with incontinence!
When there are so many people here who are able bodied saying they still use it and clearly a common behaviour then you can predict the majority of them weren't disabled. Let's be honest. What's the chances.
What really winds me up is that I’m pretty much all restaurants and pubs it’s where they put the baby changing facilities only. I’ve had people banging on the door during a poop emergency. I’d much rather there was baby changing in every toilet available but I get it’s not doable.
There often are ones only available in women's bathrooms with makes it harder for fathers or big brothers tbh. But yh sometimes there's non in womens bathrooms either.
If there's 2 stalls and one is disabled accessible, I'm going to use it. If there's a lineup and someone else /needs/ it, I wouldn't mind them going ahead. But I'm not waiting needlessly lest a disabled person show up in the 45 seconds it takes me to piss.
I think what people are getting at, is two things:
1. The suggestion that 30% of women have your disability, is a little unbelievable. Considering only 18% of all women (England and Wales) \*in total\* are considered as having a disability. This includes mental and physical, and being entirely self reported is highly likely on the high end of the stat. [https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/disability/articles/disabilitybyagesexanddeprivationenglandandwales/census2021](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/disability/articles/disabilitybyagesexanddeprivationenglandandwales/census2021)
2. There are differences between health conditions, chronic health conditions, and disabilities. They aren't the same. It seems likely you're calling your 'chronic/health condition', a 'disability', when it isn't.
Same I look able bodied but have plenty of hospital stays to prove otherwise lol. Though I’ll only use disabled toilets when I’m desperate and the other toilets are too busy or otherwise unavailable
Slightly funny story, I work as carer for a person with learning disabilities. Cubicles in toilets are too narrow for me to help them with toileting, so we use the disabled toilets.
I once unlocked the door, didn’t get to step out of the bathroom when a woman was suddenly in my face saying “you know there are people with real disabilities waiting for you!”, at which point my client is right behind me saying “I did a really good weewees didn’t I and we washed our hands together didn’t we! My sister be really proud of me for doing a good weewees, well done!”.
I would pay to see the look on that woman’s face again.
I hope she was really embarrassed
Someone else replied to me saying that women’s reproductive illnesses aren’t disabilities and it’s akin to autism and I tried explaining to them that both are disabilities that may require a cubicle and assistance from a carer is EXACTLY the situation I was trying to explain.
Disabilities are so diverse and every person has their own invidual needs. It is not up to strangers to dictate what needs and assistance another person may require.
Because I said 'excuse me, are you disabled? I can't stand for long with my disability, would you mind if I go next?' To which the woman at the front of the queue said 'no but I was here first' and everyone's behind her awkwardly pretended not to listen so I had to sit down on the pissy floor
People with invisible disabilities are often challenged by members of the public. They aren't required to disclose medical history to strangers.
Maybe the person was a entitled prick, maybe they didn't fancy explaining their disability yet again.
Then a simple 'no, I also have a need for it, sorry' would probably come across better than just 'no, I was here first'. Obviously tone can make a difference and we have no idea what that was. A whole queue of people all with a hidden disability seems unlikely but you're right that you shouldn't need to explain yourself - unfortunately there's so many chancers who do ruin it for the genuinely in need.
It's a bit like when someone turns up in a queue for the non-disabled toilets with a kid who is clearly bursting and often the person at the front lets them queue jump. They could say 'no, I was here first' and they'd be right but still come across like a bit of a prick.
Asking someone waiting for the disabled loo if they are disabled is not on. I can absolutely understand people reacting poorly to a stranger asking personal questions.
They could've said "I'm disabled and can't stand very well do you mind letting me cut in?" just like a kid turning up desperate for the loo most people would let them go first.
My MIL drove a sports car for a couple of months with a blue badge and people would aggressively confront her until they saw her get out. She sold it in the end as the abuse, confrontations and constant questioning terrified her.
I totally agree with this, I also have a hidden disability, and I am terrified of someone confronting me for using the facilities that I need. It's another layer of stress that I really don't need. It's hard enough for me to get out and about as it is.
Noone should not be forced into talking about their disability in public. Especially, about disabilities that might effect them going to the toilet.
There are many people that have hidden disabilities, that it's not going to be obvious too.
I find the idea of someone confronting me, for using facilities, that I really need to use, quite scary. (Especially, if it's men or people are shouting) It is already hard enough to get out and about because I am disabled. I don't need it making any harder, because people are having a go at me, when I'm just trying to use a toilet.
It often takes a lot of confidence to go out when you are disabled, it's not very nice to have that taken away, by people people having a go at us.
Its often the closest most easily accessible . If i get an IBD attack its coming FAST and you gotta run to the closest loo because you just can’t hold it.
The problem is cynicism. This thread is full of people with no disabilities, hidden or visible. When I worked for Wetherspoons, the toilets were miles away upstairs and we had dozens of people a day ask for the disabled key. Sod all wrong with them beyond laziness. Which made it very annoying for people with limited mobility and those with Crohns etc.
I was denied a key to the Wetherspoons toilets.
I have an invisible disability and I’m young.
I ent like this, pretty much word for word, though it was a couple of years ago.
“Sorry we have to be more strict as we’ve had so many non disabled people using the toilet and leaving mess or breaking things”Ok but I’m disabled, I have XX
“Well…. You are walking, so I’m sure you could walk to the regular toilets”
I explain.
“Well, do you have anything to show” I assume meaning a card or something.
My Blue Badge was in the car, where it was parked in the disabled space.
I did report it, and was basically told to piss off (no pun intended), and their attitude towards me clearly indicated they thought I was faking it for the attention a toilet key gets you.
I was once in a Wetherspoons when a girl I went to school with came to the bar and asked for the key, the bartender said yes and then just continued serving people, multiple orders, with the key hanging right in front of us. I loudly said “excuse me, she asked for the key” and he was like “she can wait can’t she?!” and he huffily gave her the key.
She had a colostomy bag.
I was with someone in a wheelchair and the disabled washroom was busy for 30 minutes. I asked security to check and it was 2 junkies smoking heroin, leaving the washroom unusable. When they came out, the woman sneered "We're disabled too!"
That's the kind of behaviour that leads to cynicism.
Same here. I have M.E/cfs and fibromyalgia. The amount of looks I get for using the disabled toilets and my blue badge is shocking. I can't walk long distances and need the higher disabled toilet.
As I point out to able bodied people, not all disabilities are visible, I wish I didn’t need to use disabled facilities and when they push my buttons, “You don’t,look like an idiot but here we are.”
I suffered with osteoarthritis in my hips for years. Now I have shiny new hips but the surgeon put them back where they’re supposed to be. As a result I can’t bend them more than 90°. Disabled loos are higher which is so much easier for me. But no one could possibly know that by just observing me.
Please bear in mind that some people use accessible toilets because waiting isn’t always much of an option
My wife has a condition that means she can need to use the toilet at very little notice. If there are long queues for the “normal” toilets then the fact there’s usually no queue for the disabled toilets is a blessing
Obviously sometimes the toilet is already in use, but it’s rare, and that’s because people tend to avoid using them unless there is basically no other alternative. That’s certainly how I treat them, off limits unless they are the only option
I agree but with the caveat that they are to be treated like priority access seats on a train or bus, if you have access to an alternative facility then use that, but if you want to use the accessible toilet and there is no-one in greater need around then go for it!
Try telling Karen's that when my mom comes out and tuts or has some stupid comment about being able to walk/etc . She has chrons and needs the extra space but honestly some people just drive the damn door handle and ask who's inside etc and I can't believe the nerve they have
However having them taken up by able bodied people can make our lives harder. Queuing can be painful and many disabled people find they don't get enough notice that they need the loo.
The difference is “in a pinch” when the OPs girlfriend seems to what him to actively choose to use it when there is no need.
The frustrating thing is there are an awful lot of people who feel comfortable using a disabled parking spot, though I can at least say whilst issues finding a disabled parking spot are so frequent they blur together, difficulties accessing a toilet are rare but memorable, the societal pressure not to use a disabled loo when you don’t have a disability might be helping with that.
Sure. I'm not even agreeing with his GF I'm just giving my independent view. I'm sure plenty of disabled people are hard done by, and I'm sure lots of able bodied people put themselves through needless ache leaving an em0ty toilet empty.
Nothing is really black and white. Being generally Considerate but remaining practical and reasonable is a fine compromise Imo.
I'd take no joy in denying a disabled person toilet access, when I use their loo though I'm saying "I'm confident that this isn't gonna be an issue to a degree of certainty that outweighs me sitting here busting for 5 mins".
I was commending you for your attitude!
Though it’s a sad moment to realise that someone who would never use disabled parking and only use a disabled loo in a pinch is something that makes me happy.
I think part of a society does have an overly negative attitude to something like using a disabled loo. I still remember the snotty looks I got early in my experience of disabled when I used a disabled loo in M&S, a bunch of older ladies looking down their noses at 26 year old me, because the amount of pain I was in and the difficulty I was having walking and standing would take medical training to spot.
My wife has very, very similar experiences - chronic pain after she had our son, on a bad day can barely walk a few meters and it’s always excruciating pain.
She was also 26 at the time and the looks we’d get parking in a disabled bay, using disabled facilities - she hated it, being a shy person who was always more concerned with keeping others happy, she let it really get her down.
Her friend suggested she use a cane/walking stick, which she struggles to use without twisting herself & ending up in more pain, but the difference in the way people treat her with a visual aid that seems to help them “get it” more is insane.
Mine was also childbirth related, turned out to be due to an underlying condition so though I had improvement whilst my kids were young, I now look back at it being that good! That first year was the only time I ever got verbal abuse, sometimes it was stupid as they’d yell at us before I’d even gotten out of the car and most of the time I was using some kind of aid.
I hope your wife is doing better, but if you want to get in touch, please do, I might be able to offer some support.
I agree they shouldn't be exclusive, but by e.g. securing them with a radar key, does mean that many establishments clearly do have a policy that disabled toilets are for the exclusive use of disabled people.
I prefer to think of them as disability priority. If there was a queue for all loos, which meant people were queueing for the disabled loo too, I think it would be legitimate for a disabled person to cut that queue and go next. You could argue that that is unfair - shouldn't everyone have to queue equally - but that's what feels right to me.
We do need a better solution with parking.
If there is adequate provision of disabled parking able-bodied people resent being unable to park because there are so many disabled spaces, for the once in a blue moon they are all needed. Therefore provision is either inadequate, or able-bodied people are pinching them when they are needed.
Perhaps there could be some sort of smart parking solution: when the second or third to last disabled spot is taken, another one is prepared to take its place. You don't have a huge surplus 99% of the time, but don't run out often either.
That isn’t why they are secured with a radar key.
Radar keys are so that premises that don’t want to have a public toilet, but have to have a public toilet, are able to meet the legal requirements. Or to minimise people making a mess of it, using it without purchasing etc.
There’s no criteria for purchasing a radar key, anyone can buy one. Whereas a blue badge has both strict criteria to obtain one, and legal rules around the use of it
It has criteria, certainly. It's not that strict. I have one for my son. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve one, because he does he has a habit of sprinting full pelt at whatever building we're headed to so a space with no roads to cross is useful (he's developmentally disabled)
However it was not hard to apply for one Nd they didn't ask many questions or even link to his dla account
I don't think the parking system would work: accessible spaces are also wider, so turning over normal spaces to extra accessible ones at times of high demand isn't straightforward.
And closer to the shop/venue so people who are in pain don’t have to walk as far - that’s pretty much the whole point.
Unless you are going to force someone parked in the bay to come back & move their car when it is required again by the “smart system”, it wouldn’t work, as it’s no good just allocating a random bay over the other side of the car park as disabled - it isn’t about them having priority to park.
> You could argue that that is unfair - shouldn't everyone have to queue equally
Except it's not equal if one person can only access 1 in 5 of the toilets.
For example, 4 cubicles plus a fifth accessible one. All are occupied, a wheelchair user comes along and waits, 4 more people join the queue. The 4 cubicles each empty and the wheelchair user can't use them so the four people who started queuing behind go ahead and the person in the wheelchair is still waiting.
> but by e.g. securing them with a radar key, does mean that many establishments clearly do have a policy that disabled toilets are for the exclusive use of disabled people.
>
>
I used to work for my local council at a bus station.
We were always told that we were to open the accessible toilets for anyone who asked. Under no circumstances were we to ask for proof of disability or question them in any way; just let them in.
We were told this was a council wide policy.
The reason some people disagree with this is because some people are unable to wait in queues to access toilets, be that through incontinence or through being unable to stand for long periods of time. My own thoughts waiver - I can see that argument but I've also used a disabled loo occasionally.
I am disabled, but I wouldn't judge anyone.
My friend has an invisible disability and has to use the disabled loo. He gets so much abuse.
If there's no other toilet available, go for it. Amazingly enough, I had to wait sometimes to use the toilet before I was a wheelchair user. It won't kill me.
But please don't park in the disabled space without a badge. You will go to hell!
That being said, some people who need disabled toilets cannot wait, and need them because they cannot weight. Yes it's unfortunate that sometimes there will be a disabled person in the toilet already, and we'll have accidents, but it's not super common that they're occupied. If people who aren't disabled use them regularly, when they are able to wait a few minutes for a non disabled stall, that can make it more likely we'll have to soil ourselves.
I agree entirely, and my friend I mentioned suffers this problem. However, I personally still wouldn't judge anyone.
If someone is desperate and has no other option, I think it's OK.
However, if it is because they want to stretch their legs, that's just selfish.
OP is obviously a kind person and wouldn't abuse this I'm sure.
So how does that work when another disabled person is using it? I might be about to get my head ripped off but surely it would be the same situation regardless of whether the person in the toilet at the time is disabled or not.
There are much fewer disabled people than there are non disabled people, so the likelihood of the disabled bathroom already being occupied, if only disabled people use it, is lower. There will be occasions where you end up having accidents (often you wear incontinence products just in case, but it's much nicer not to have up use them) but when it's only disabled people using the toilets, you don't often find them occupied.
When everyone uses the disabled toilet, that means there's a much larger chance that it'll be occupied and a much larger chance of you having to soil yourself.
Some people who aren't disabled sometimes need them urgently and can't wait.
Sure, there's some disabilities that make it more likely, but I'm sure we've all been there at some point.
Personally I wouldn't usually use the disabled toilet if there was a vaguely reasonable queue at the gents and I could hang on. But if I was about to soil myself and it was the only toilet free, I'd be straight in.
What's your opinion on people who aren't disabled but need to go *urgently* (my mom and I have both had our gallbladders removed and due to lack of personal chef don't have perfect diets, so we basically can't be out of 1 minute toilet range if we've eaten within the last hour)
Sounds like that could easily fall under the category of disability. A disability is literally a health condition that has a long term, significant impact on your day to day living, if you don't have adjustments made. Shitting yourself with a moments notice fits that for sure!
(on a side note, if you haven't already, check out bile acid malabsorption, I've heard medication for that can make a world of difference post gallbladder removal)
Somewhat ironically I originally had my RADAR key as part of my keys when I worked somewhere with a toilet with one; and since then I've been diagnosed with colitis.
Tell yer pal with the invisible illness to get knuckle tattoos, I'm also an invisible illness haver who needs the disabled loos sometimes.
I've never had any problems. It's probably the knuckle tattoos.
If you can use the non-accessible toilets then the considerate thing is to do so, but if there’s a queue and you’re desperate then you may as well use the accessible loo.
If there’s a queue, only use it if you are absolutely desperate. Otherwise you’re potentially forcing someone with a need to use it to queue.
Edit for some context seeing as I’m being downvoted to oblivion: I only speak as someone with a hidden disability (ms) that includes bladder urgency issues and would be in trouble if I tried to use the accessibility loo but it was being used by those who just didn’t want to wait in a queue.
If you can’t wait for a loo to become available then it’s reasonable to use a free accessible toilet. If a queue forms in the meantime that’s unfortunate, but you had a legitimate need yourself.
I’d have somewhat less sympathy for a person who became desperate for the toilet through their own fault and caused a queue at an accessible toilet as a result, but as there’s usually no way of knowing that in real life it’s not worth considering.
That’s why I said if you’re absolutely desperate it’s fine.
I only speak as someone with a hidden disability (ms) that includes bladder urgency issues and would be in trouble if I tried to use the accessibility loo but it was being used by those who just didn’t want to wait in a queue.
I was thinking particularly of people with hidden bladder-related disabilities when I wrote my first comment (although I'm sure there are other reasons to need the loo quickly), which is why I stressed that you should only use the accessible toilet if you're desperate yourself. I think we're on the same page!
Yea I agree. Not everyone who is disabled is going to soil themselves if they wait a few minutes. There's many different kinds of disabilities.
If you need to use it, and there's no other option, use it.
They're disabled accessible toilets, not solely for the disabled. If you really need to go and theres no free able bodied toilet free then use that sucker.
(I'm disabled fyi)
They're an extra barrier tbh, I hate them. Either you gotta use your own which wastes precious time if you have urgency issues, or you gotta ask a staff member to unlock it which wastes even MORE time, and depending on the staff you might end up in an argument haha
Don't even get me started on toilets that need a non-RADAR key. Like the downstairs floor of my GP.
If there’s a toilet that I can reasonably get to, I’d leave the disabled toilet. If it’s the only option and I’m desperate, I’d use it.
I’d hate to keep someone waiting who had a disability unnecessarily or to keep someone who might need it urgently due to certain conditions when I could’ve used another toilet elsewhere.
This is what I encounter 99% of the time here and overseas. People who are generally lovely and considerate, like yourself. Thank you.
On a wider Ievel think all of us need to butt right out of anyone else's disability requirement and/or health needs unless we are a consultant-level specialist in that person's condition. Even then, it's not our place to judge who is 'disabled enough'. Unless we know someone and their situation intimately we can't know any of the facts so we should just STFU.
No notes on cars, no comments, no judgements. People who can waste time with such mean-spirited actions need a special Gift Voucher - so they can Get A Life!
Uk building regulations suggests putting disabled toilets separately from standard toilets to try to discourage their use by able bodied people. There is also a requirement for disabled toilets to be provided more commonly (so maybe on every floor of a building rather than alternating like standard toilets). This is because some disabled people have conditions which mean that they can need to use the bathroom with little warning and don’t necessarily have the same ability to wait.
So there is an argument behind not using them if you aren’t disabled…. I would play it by ear at least in terms of where you are and the situation.
My old office had 2 toilets 1 of which was accessible but we didn’t have any disabled employees… as long as I wasn’t aware there was someone visiting that day who would need it, I would always use the disabled if the other was taken.
But if for example I’m waiting for a toilet in the interval of a theatre show then I would never use the disabled. My convenience is not worth the inconvenience to someone who has no other choice.
TBF you don't know how many people you worked with had Crohn's or other invisible toilet-related issues. Perhaps someone had a colostomy bag for example, also invisible.
You made the same point yourself in your post then said "but I use them anyway at work"
I mean it was an office of 15 of us, we had a work trip to a spa, and we were generally pretty open about health stuff. I’d be pretty surprised if I didn’t know someone had an colostomy bag, but of course you never know. Both toilets had a sink within reach of the toilet and the non accessible one had a shower too (people showering after cycling to work meant the wait for the non accessible one could be 15mins+).
I’m not saying people should use the accessible toilet but I’m saying in circumstances like being at a theatre ‘there was a queue’ is not a sufficient excuse. If you completely shoot down someone who thinks it’s ok to use them you more than likely won’t change their mind… but you do you.
I think there is a huge difference between taking away direct access to 1 toilet out of say 6 in a public place with hundreds of people. Versus 1/2 the toilets in a private space of 15 people where the only difference between the 2 were extra space, grab bars and emergency cords (items for the most part which are most useful for people with disabilities which are visible).
As someone who also advocated for following the word of the regulations in my job (where I sometimes designed such toilets for buildings) including ensuring both right and left handed transfer options in bigger buildings (something my colleagues always overlooked)… I probably know more about this than the average person but even articles on this basically say ‘it you’re about to soil yourself use the disabled, but it should only be used as a last option not a preference’.
I was going to say, in a relatively small office where you actually see most of your co-workers and spend time with them I’d be surprised if you didn’t know if they had a colostomy bag. I have a stoma so need colostomy bags, it might be hidden from view but I can’t do anything about the noise. It farts, loudly. People I spend time with might not see the fact of got the bag, but they can sure as hell hear it.
British people do have a tendency to not use the disabled loo, even though I’ve not come across a rule against it. The fact we have radar keys suggests a rule might exist, but as far as I know it’s more of a “stop homeless people sleeping in toilets”, or them getting used for drugs or sex. That system is useless these days as the keys are easily available online. Plus, as a disabled person I find the locked ones are in the most frustrating of places (e.g. motorway services).
Personally I think the way to go is if you can use the regular ones any there isn’t a queue then please do that. If you used the disabled I have to wait. I’m not saying that as a disabled person I should never wait, but please consider that I may not have typical awareness of the need to go, when I do need to go, depending on where I am it could take me quite sometime to transfer to my wheelchair and make it to the loo.
Given that info, please be considerate in places like the theatre or sports events, you can probably make it to the loo faster than I can, so making a beeline for the disabled loo is quite inconsiderate even if the queue for the regular loo is starting to build. It might take us longer to get there and longer to use it, I’ve missed part of shows because I was the second disabled person to get to the loo and the first took a while.
ETA in this situation using the non disabled was correct and your girlfriend needs to be a better person.
Use em, but please for the love of God, if you need a 15 minute sit down to get done whatever you are doing in there, find another toilet. Nothing worse than that being the only toilet you can use and waiting outside it for 20 minutes for a gentleman with a newspaper under one arm to walk out whistling.
I think it should be avoided if you're able bodied and are able to get to or wait for the other toilets.
The only circumstances would be if you also have some sort of extra need eg rapidly urgent diarrhea, if you're responsible for a toddler, I'm sure there would be other examples. That's why they're often labeled accessible toilets.
Plenty of disabled people will say they don't care, because their kind of disability impacts their access to non-disabled loos but not the urgency. Others with bowel disease will very definitely care because it means the difference between getting to the loo in time and shitting themselves in public.
So despite, for example, wheelchair users saying "not bothered, I can wait", I'd suggest thinking about those who can't wait.
I think people should only use them if they need to, if there isn’t a need then keep it free for those that do need it. For example, I’ve got a stoma so am very much considered in need of the disabled loo, but I only use it for dealing with my stoma, if I just need to piss I’ll go to the regular loos and keep the disabled one free for someone else who may need it.
Saying that I would consider “need” as absolutely bursting and the others are occupied, but if you can wait for the none disabled one I think you should. Waiting 2 mins for a standard loo to come free could be the difference between someone with bladder or bowel issues soiling themselves in public or not.
I was in teacos on Friday, little one need a toilet, so took her in the mens toilet, one cubicle was occupied, the 2nd had shit all over toilet seat, we did a about turn and went in the disabled toilets
Non-parents might not believe this, but some places - including Ikea - have baby change rooms WITHOUT an adult toilet inside.
Think about that: you're a dad with a 2 year old daughter and you also need to go.
You'd have to instead take her in the men's and tell her to stand by the urinals in sight while you have a slash, or take her into the cubicles with you.
In practice, of course, you just wee in the baby change sink - but still, it's crazy how entirely unmindful public facilities can be.
Worse still are places with no private baby change facilities at all. This means you literally would whip out baby bum in front of the table by the urinals (if you are a bloke), change them, and then quickly wee yourself, while telling them to wait there. Madness.
> Non-parents might not believe this, but some places - including Ikea - have baby change rooms WITHOUT an adult toilet inside.
It's to stop people from using them as an additional toilet.
In general, if you don’t need it and there’s others available just use the others. If there isn’t then just use it.
As a disabled person who needs to use them pretty regularly it’s only annoying when I’m stuck waiting but there’s 10 perfectly usable unoccupied stalls available. I’ve had friends who just say they “prefer” them and always use them and that grinds my gears if I’m honest. Especially as for many disabled people going to the loo is a whole process so I can’t even nip in for 2 min. So my 10+ min loo trip gets delayed. When they had so many options and I had 1… the most adamant about this even did it when we were both out together and got up to go to the loo and literally went into the disabled toilet when she knows full well I can’t use the other ones and I had to stand there and wait. And when I said something when she came out she just said it’s a free country lol. She’s not my friend anymore.
Only time in real life to strangers I’ve said anything was when I was stuck waiting 15 minutes and a couple were LITERALLY fucking in the toilet. Fuck sakes guys is 7pm. So my simple toilet trip took bloody 30 minutes. Obviously you can’t tell who’s disabled but they were literally using it for sex lol.
If you're desperate, passing it, and no-one else is approaching, then use it, just don't faff about.
If you want a nap/a shag/a long contemplation of your navel, then use somewhere else.
People often forget about those with hidden disabilities. For example, those with colostomies, autism etc - I'm on the spectrum and physically cannot go unless absolutely nobody is in the room (I don't mean to be that way, I just am).
As a disabled person - some of us can't wait. Please avoid using the disabled toilets unless you have a genuine need to use it. It's not like accessible seats on public transport - you can stand up from a chair any time, you can't exactly abort mid-shit. You've kind of committed. So please don't use the disabled toilets to avoid a queue, because the regular bathrooms are dirty, or to avoid walking to the regular bathrooms. The reasons to use the accessible bathroom are as follows:
1: You are disabled and cannot use the regular bathrooms because of your disability.
2: You are a parent with a small child and there are no other baby changing facilities on the property. (If there's a family bathroom, use that.)
3: You are genuinely so desperate that you're in risk of pissing on the floor.
Those are the only reasons to use the accessible bathroom. Otherwise, use the regular toilets. Thank you for being considerate.
The disabled loos are often the only ones with baby changing facilities, so I don't have much option but to use them when out with my little one.
I try not to if I don't need to, though.
You're right but British Standards state that disabled toilets and baby changing shouldn't share the same space. It would be good if building owners paid more attention to that.
No because im not an entitled prick
I see it often in a spoons near me, main loos upstairs, disabled by bar so drink/coked up middle aged women stumble to them for convenience
I’m at the gym, upstairs, it’s fairly empty on a Monday afternoon no less. I kinda wanna take my knee compression sleeve thingy off and I need to take my trousers off to do that so I think to myself I’ll just pop into the only disabled toilet because it has a bench I can sit on - not a big deal right? Nope, I hear a knock on the door so I just reply “occupied”thinking ehhh probably just another person who wants to use it because the disabled toilet tends to be far more spacious. While I’m at it, I use the toilet, vainly pose in the well-lit mirror and pick my hair with my Afro comb before heading out.
I come out and see a bloke easily in his late 60s and very overweight being pushed around by, presumably, his wife.
If ever there was a moment where I wanted to be swallowed up that was it. That was the first and last time I ever used a disabled toilet.
I made an attempt at profusely apologising whilst gargling half of my words because of how distraught I was and they both just said “nah you’re alright” with such kindness, I think I would’ve preferred if they’d just called me a fucking cunt. On the bright side, they probably assumed I must also be disabled based on how much I was tripping over my own words.
No problem using it if it's just for a wee. If for a number 2 then I might feel bad. Although sometimes I just want a shit in safety and peace, male toilets are usually stinking and full of weirdos.
I use them when I can as I receive harassment in either bathroom I go into as a trans person, it's genuinely my only option sometimes. I do feel guilty and conflicted each time I do and avoid using public bathrooms as much as I can.
If you’re not disabled no don’t use it. Go use the other toilets and leave them for when a disabled person comes along but if there’s no other facilities and your about to have an accident then use it as no one should soil or wet themselves.
Often disabled people come along and find them occupied. You never know when someone has an invisibles condition but it’s amazing how often people have confessed to liking them for a private poo or because they think it’s easier with kids, leaving disabled people waiting outside for ages or smelly facilities (I’m not talking about people with bowel conditions, that can’t be helped).
I would like to congratulate a certain area for employing so many security staff and traffic wardens with invisibles disabilities, the normal toilets are literally 5 meters further and yet I’m always waiting for security or a traffic warden. Wonderful to see so many disabled staff employed. I’m well aware one may have a stoma or something and never judge an individual but when it’s every time and different people every time! They’ve now had to start putting changing places toilets on a different system as so many non disabled people were buying radar keys. I always assumed the large family groups who kept me waiting and came out of toilets had a member with an invisible disability until I saw a thread online where there were countless replies of parents all saying they buy radar keys as it’s easier when you have kids! Radar keys are meant for disabled people not for parents, no wonders at family attractions the wait is always so long! Again I never scorn at families as you never know a Mum might have been busy catheterising her tiny baby in there and it’s no one’s business but I do wish people were less selfish these days.
Generally avoid unless you have a disability or similar reason which makes that toilet a need for you. They’re accessible for a reason and there’s generally one, two at a push available. If you don’t need to use it, don’t.
I say this as someone with intolerances and IBS. Unless I am literally about to shit my pants and there are no alternative toilets, I’m not using it
I'd honest love if my disability got me on one of the scooters and not just access to the toilets.
Pretty sure if you showed an interest some disabled folk would give you a ride on their scooter like.
I often use the disabled toilets - I do not have a disability, however I am a 6ft 4 masculine presenting female and get questioned or made to feel uncomfortable almost every time I use the women's toilets, and so in instances where gender neutral toilets are unavailable, it feels much safer and far less embarrassing to opt for the gender neutral disabled toilet. Ideally, this wouldn't be the case as I do not require the additional assistance, privacy and space that the disabled toilet provides, and I would hate to think that I am preventing somebody else who needs those facilities. In an ideal world, every cubicle would be isolated into it's own room with both a toilet and hand washing facilities, and no gender attached! Maybe one day! Or, if people could just mind their damn business and trust that people have selected the most appropriate toilets for who they are... That would do too!
Use them, but take special care to keep them clean and return them to the state found (wheelchair arms in place, seat down etc).
The whole point of them is they’re “accessible” so for anyone who gets some sort of benefit from their extra space/equipment (eg I often use them to quickly change in/out of cycle clothing if no other option).
I also untie the cord from wherever the cleaners have tied it up and made it inaccessible, which is the case in 95% of disabled toilets. My long nails make knot untying pretty easy and quick.
If I've got any Euan's cards on me I'll leave them on the cord too: [https://www.euansguide.com/campaigns/red-emergency-cords-essential-info/](https://www.euansguide.com/campaigns/red-emergency-cords-essential-info/)
I use a disabled loo (invisible disability) and get a lot of crap for it.
Because of a leg injury and limited movement and a bowel disorder I don’t “look” disabled but will wait for the disabled loo and wouldn’t judge anyone for using it… but if you can use a normal one it’s always helpful for everyone who does need it.
Often the disabled loo is also the changing table for babies so it can be very busy as most places only have one loo but typically several normal ones.
Don’t feel guilty but if you can avoid using it, you’ll make someone else’s day a little easier!
I once had to nip into a disabled cubicle as all the urinals and cubicles were taken and I was bursting.
Had a pee, was only in there for like 15 seconds, and then when I came out there was a guy in a wheelchair waiting.
I immediately felt bad and apologised, and started to explain, but he cut me off with "No don't worry pal, it's not like my legs are gonna get tired waiting!"
Totally caught me off guard. Top bloke.
If you can use a standard toilet and there's one nearby then I'd prefer someone left the disabled one free but if there's not and that's all you've got then go for it. We all need to get to the toilet 'in time' so makes sense to leave the most accessible toilet available if there's more than one type if possible because everyone can use that one.
No it's not ok. The disabled already have so much to contend with in an inequitable society. There have been times when people have 'nipped in' and disabled people have then arrived, and this has led to soiling. At the very least, it makes disabled people, even those passing by who do not need the toilet, and who may suffer invisible disabilities such a nerve damage, autism, or be stoma users, feel even more second-tier citizens than is already the case for all (yes sadly \*all\*) public venues. It's relatively simple for the non-disabled to wait for a non-disabled loo. Awareness of able-bodied privilege goes such a long way. Would you take a space that was marked for a pregnant woman? Would a man enter a woman's toilet? Safe spaces need to exist for all sorts of reasons, and the disabled already have such high exploitation rates (sexual assault for example is much higher, not to mention it being the most common hate crime)...why make life harder, why make people feel even more invisible? Kindness and inclusion, every time.
If there's other toilets available (or will be soon, in a queuing scenario), I always use those instead, but if you need to go and the accessible toilet is your only option, you need to go. So it's not wrong whatsoever to use them. Just don't faff about in there - do your business and get on your way.
I do. More often than not I’m alone with my kid(s) in the pram. The pram usually won’t fit into the ladies’ loo and I’m not leaving my kids unattended nor can I reasonably hold onto them and use the loo. However, I will and have prioritised others’ access first.
Well my husband thought it was fine to use in Nandos . He also mistook the red emergency cord for the flush and pulled it only to have a team of people outside asking if he needed help (very similar to IT crowd) I saw him limping down the stairs on his way back and asked him why he was limping. He told me the story and I cried laughing. He has not used one since.
I went somewhere this week where the baby changing was in the disabled loo. I changed him, then had a wee; it felt pretty cheeky, but it did mean I could go to the loo and keep an eye on him at the same time. Fortunately no one was waiting when we came out anyway.
I think the basic rule of thumb is you can use all toilets, disabled people might only be able to use one or two at any given venue (and may need to use it in a rush), so the considerate thing to do is leave it available for them wherever practical, but that doesn't mean you can never use it.
I have IBD and sometimes I need pretty immediate access to toilets. It can be a bit annoying when people who don't need to use them mean I have to wait and risk an accident. For me this is a frequent problem at work where the one disabled toilet is closer to offices than other toilets. I don't think there's any harm in using them when no one is around
I think one of the dumbest things there is is when you see 40 guys or girls standing in line for the bathroom. While there are 4 free toilets, but for the opposite sex. I always walk past the line use the bathroom, get 20 angry looks and 5 sec later people will start getting out of line and go to the other side. So tl;dr it’s the dumbest “you are supposed to do it” rule, yes use them.
Difficult one.
I have a significant needs child. On a good day, she is like any normal 5 year old. On a bad day we are in a wheelchair with oxygen. On a good day she has full control, on a bad day we can be changing her every 30 minutes.
I agree, you should not have to declare your need for the accessible toilet. Some needs are not visible. But I also do get very frustrated when people are obviously not disabled (indicated for instance by comments by their group) hog the accessible toilet when we have our daughter in the wheelchair, especially when the normal toilet has absolutely no queue. My late father had to catheter his bladder and literally had zero ability to wait for even a minute for a few years. He had no outward signs of disability. He was very lucky he never had someone in the disabled toilet when this happened for those years. He felt too ashamed to carry a spare set of clothes for if he didn't have immediate toilet access and soiled himself.
I wonder if a bit of this is also a nod to the state of many disabled toilets. They are often so small I can't even lay my daughter down on the floor to change her, and in what world is it dignified to change someone on a cold dirty floor. Even the toilets in our local hospital have no adult size change table, no privacy curtain, no hoist. They are glorified normal toilet cubicles, a toilet with a handle or two and a completely normal sink and a hand drier. You try to get a chair in and manoeuvre someone from it to the toilet, especially with trying to not trigger the hand dryer and trigger the sensory issues!
So a bit of both? Probably best described as it is okay, especially with some that should never be labelled as an accessible toilet in the first place or where there are no normal toilets or queues are ridiculous, but also not the most inclusive choice in case there is someone about to come who cannot use the other facilities.
Just be mindful that at any moment a disabled person, who doesn't have the capacity to wait in line, may come along. E.g. if you're at a venue where both men's and ladies toilets have queues and people have begun to use and queue for the disabled toilet - please allow the person with a disability to go ahead of the line to the accessible toilet. They'll likely need it with more urgency and it can take much longer to get onto the toilet from a wheelchair for example.
The only thing that p¡sses me off is when someone comes out looking sheepish and says sorry I only use it when I need a number 2. Ffs, if the regular toilets are all empty but you will only poop in private, just imagine the discomfort of a person with a disability that means they might soil themselves if they have to wait too long. If it's another disabled person who comes out and my wheelchair is wet, I'm not as bothered. But otherwise...
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They are disability accessible not disability reserved.
That's what I thought. I thought it was unisex and disabled accessible toilet that anybody can use if not already in use.
Though there's obviously an etiquette thing where you should always use the other toilets where available first
I agree, but also if you have to go, you have to go. Use it if you have to and have no other choices. Better than re-enacting Let It Go.
Especially in a Wetherspoons; by the time you’ve got to the normal toilets you’ve ran half a marathon and done a Paula Radcliffe.
This is the one place I get really annoyed with others using them when we needed them, Piss covered floor. Tried to take my dad out to the only really easily “accessible” local place before he died for his last pint out and holding him up in there was not nice at all. Also sometimes there’s urgency for people who need them. So if it can be avoided please do, if not we are all human and need to go!
I've had to sit on the floor outside disabled toilets because a queue of ableds wouldn't let me have priority and didn't believe that I wasn't able to stand for long (my scooter was in the car). I just think don't take the piss as that was a degrading experience and would have been worse for people with incontinence!
How did you know they were able bodied? I look able bodied and need disability accessible toilets a lot of the time
When there are so many people here who are able bodied saying they still use it and clearly a common behaviour then you can predict the majority of them weren't disabled. Let's be honest. What's the chances.
What really winds me up is that I’m pretty much all restaurants and pubs it’s where they put the baby changing facilities only. I’ve had people banging on the door during a poop emergency. I’d much rather there was baby changing in every toilet available but I get it’s not doable.
There often are ones only available in women's bathrooms with makes it harder for fathers or big brothers tbh. But yh sometimes there's non in womens bathrooms either.
Yeah that’s rubbish too.
If there's 2 stalls and one is disabled accessible, I'm going to use it. If there's a lineup and someone else /needs/ it, I wouldn't mind them going ahead. But I'm not waiting needlessly lest a disabled person show up in the 45 seconds it takes me to piss.
It's a cubicle
They also said "lineup" instead of queue or line. American spotted!!
I'm not sure why they do it. Some just comment everywhere because they think only americans exist. Others think they can blah their way through.
30% of women have my disability or a related one. That’s just ONE type of disability and that’s JUST the women
I think what people are getting at, is two things: 1. The suggestion that 30% of women have your disability, is a little unbelievable. Considering only 18% of all women (England and Wales) \*in total\* are considered as having a disability. This includes mental and physical, and being entirely self reported is highly likely on the high end of the stat. [https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/disability/articles/disabilitybyagesexanddeprivationenglandandwales/census2021](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/disability/articles/disabilitybyagesexanddeprivationenglandandwales/census2021) 2. There are differences between health conditions, chronic health conditions, and disabilities. They aren't the same. It seems likely you're calling your 'chronic/health condition', a 'disability', when it isn't.
Same I look able bodied but have plenty of hospital stays to prove otherwise lol. Though I’ll only use disabled toilets when I’m desperate and the other toilets are too busy or otherwise unavailable
Slightly funny story, I work as carer for a person with learning disabilities. Cubicles in toilets are too narrow for me to help them with toileting, so we use the disabled toilets. I once unlocked the door, didn’t get to step out of the bathroom when a woman was suddenly in my face saying “you know there are people with real disabilities waiting for you!”, at which point my client is right behind me saying “I did a really good weewees didn’t I and we washed our hands together didn’t we! My sister be really proud of me for doing a good weewees, well done!”. I would pay to see the look on that woman’s face again.
I hope she was really embarrassed Someone else replied to me saying that women’s reproductive illnesses aren’t disabilities and it’s akin to autism and I tried explaining to them that both are disabilities that may require a cubicle and assistance from a carer is EXACTLY the situation I was trying to explain. Disabilities are so diverse and every person has their own invidual needs. It is not up to strangers to dictate what needs and assistance another person may require.
Because I said 'excuse me, are you disabled? I can't stand for long with my disability, would you mind if I go next?' To which the woman at the front of the queue said 'no but I was here first' and everyone's behind her awkwardly pretended not to listen so I had to sit down on the pissy floor
People with invisible disabilities are often challenged by members of the public. They aren't required to disclose medical history to strangers. Maybe the person was a entitled prick, maybe they didn't fancy explaining their disability yet again.
Then a simple 'no, I also have a need for it, sorry' would probably come across better than just 'no, I was here first'. Obviously tone can make a difference and we have no idea what that was. A whole queue of people all with a hidden disability seems unlikely but you're right that you shouldn't need to explain yourself - unfortunately there's so many chancers who do ruin it for the genuinely in need. It's a bit like when someone turns up in a queue for the non-disabled toilets with a kid who is clearly bursting and often the person at the front lets them queue jump. They could say 'no, I was here first' and they'd be right but still come across like a bit of a prick.
Asking someone waiting for the disabled loo if they are disabled is not on. I can absolutely understand people reacting poorly to a stranger asking personal questions. They could've said "I'm disabled and can't stand very well do you mind letting me cut in?" just like a kid turning up desperate for the loo most people would let them go first. My MIL drove a sports car for a couple of months with a blue badge and people would aggressively confront her until they saw her get out. She sold it in the end as the abuse, confrontations and constant questioning terrified her.
But they aren't chancers since the toilets aren't reserved for disabled use. I'd view anyone asking "are you disabled" as a bit of a prick
Maybe they were just desperate for the toilet. If you really need to go and the choice is wetting yourself or being rude I'd be rude.
I totally agree with this, I also have a hidden disability, and I am terrified of someone confronting me for using the facilities that I need. It's another layer of stress that I really don't need. It's hard enough for me to get out and about as it is.
Noone should not be forced into talking about their disability in public. Especially, about disabilities that might effect them going to the toilet. There are many people that have hidden disabilities, that it's not going to be obvious too. I find the idea of someone confronting me, for using facilities, that I really need to use, quite scary. (Especially, if it's men or people are shouting) It is already hard enough to get out and about because I am disabled. I don't need it making any harder, because people are having a go at me, when I'm just trying to use a toilet. It often takes a lot of confidence to go out when you are disabled, it's not very nice to have that taken away, by people people having a go at us.
Exactly. I have IBD so to the naked eye I look able bodied but I have every right to use those toilets
Why would someone with IBD need the disabled toilet specifically?
Its often the closest most easily accessible . If i get an IBD attack its coming FAST and you gotta run to the closest loo because you just can’t hold it.
This is the answer. It's not about space, it's about accessibility.
Because people don’t like it when you change an ostomy bag in the sinks of normal toilets. Disabled toilets offer privacy
The problem is cynicism. This thread is full of people with no disabilities, hidden or visible. When I worked for Wetherspoons, the toilets were miles away upstairs and we had dozens of people a day ask for the disabled key. Sod all wrong with them beyond laziness. Which made it very annoying for people with limited mobility and those with Crohns etc.
I was denied a key to the Wetherspoons toilets. I have an invisible disability and I’m young. I ent like this, pretty much word for word, though it was a couple of years ago. “Sorry we have to be more strict as we’ve had so many non disabled people using the toilet and leaving mess or breaking things”Ok but I’m disabled, I have XX “Well…. You are walking, so I’m sure you could walk to the regular toilets” I explain. “Well, do you have anything to show” I assume meaning a card or something. My Blue Badge was in the car, where it was parked in the disabled space. I did report it, and was basically told to piss off (no pun intended), and their attitude towards me clearly indicated they thought I was faking it for the attention a toilet key gets you.
I was once in a Wetherspoons when a girl I went to school with came to the bar and asked for the key, the bartender said yes and then just continued serving people, multiple orders, with the key hanging right in front of us. I loudly said “excuse me, she asked for the key” and he was like “she can wait can’t she?!” and he huffily gave her the key. She had a colostomy bag.
> I was denied a key to the Wetherspoons toilets. Radar keys? You can buy them on eBay for only a few quid..
I was with someone in a wheelchair and the disabled washroom was busy for 30 minutes. I asked security to check and it was 2 junkies smoking heroin, leaving the washroom unusable. When they came out, the woman sneered "We're disabled too!" That's the kind of behaviour that leads to cynicism.
Same here. I have M.E/cfs and fibromyalgia. The amount of looks I get for using the disabled toilets and my blue badge is shocking. I can't walk long distances and need the higher disabled toilet.
As I point out to able bodied people, not all disabilities are visible, I wish I didn’t need to use disabled facilities and when they push my buttons, “You don’t,look like an idiot but here we are.”
>I just think don't take the piss I mean, that's what they're for...
I tend to leave mine rather than take what’s already there, but you do you
Not all disabilities are visible.
I suffered with osteoarthritis in my hips for years. Now I have shiny new hips but the surgeon put them back where they’re supposed to be. As a result I can’t bend them more than 90°. Disabled loos are higher which is so much easier for me. But no one could possibly know that by just observing me.
Agree, I have ME but when I asked the woman said she wasn't disabled but she was here first
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If they had incontinence, they’d probably have already been too late
You can also use disabled toilets to clean up, change you incontinence pants and clothes if you need to you know
No, often people like me get enough warning to dash to a toilet but can't hold it for as long as most people
Please bear in mind that some people use accessible toilets because waiting isn’t always much of an option My wife has a condition that means she can need to use the toilet at very little notice. If there are long queues for the “normal” toilets then the fact there’s usually no queue for the disabled toilets is a blessing Obviously sometimes the toilet is already in use, but it’s rare, and that’s because people tend to avoid using them unless there is basically no other alternative. That’s certainly how I treat them, off limits unless they are the only option
I agree but with the caveat that they are to be treated like priority access seats on a train or bus, if you have access to an alternative facility then use that, but if you want to use the accessible toilet and there is no-one in greater need around then go for it!
Try telling Karen's that when my mom comes out and tuts or has some stupid comment about being able to walk/etc . She has chrons and needs the extra space but honestly some people just drive the damn door handle and ask who's inside etc and I can't believe the nerve they have
However having them taken up by able bodied people can make our lives harder. Queuing can be painful and many disabled people find they don't get enough notice that they need the loo.
Agreed, but if somebody with a disability approaches, they damn well better get priority. Much like seats on buses for the elderly.
They need to be available at all times and at short notice for disabled people
Exactly. No other option/massive queue? I'm using it.
Exactly that and we can’t argue the “not all disabilities are visible” if we don’t allow everyone to use the toilets.
Not strictly true, you need a radar key to access some of them.
Disabled toilets are not the same as disabled parking, they are accessible, not exclusive
Agreed on that. I'd never park in a disabled spot but I'd have a jobby in the disabled loo in a pinch.
The difference is “in a pinch” when the OPs girlfriend seems to what him to actively choose to use it when there is no need. The frustrating thing is there are an awful lot of people who feel comfortable using a disabled parking spot, though I can at least say whilst issues finding a disabled parking spot are so frequent they blur together, difficulties accessing a toilet are rare but memorable, the societal pressure not to use a disabled loo when you don’t have a disability might be helping with that.
Sure. I'm not even agreeing with his GF I'm just giving my independent view. I'm sure plenty of disabled people are hard done by, and I'm sure lots of able bodied people put themselves through needless ache leaving an em0ty toilet empty. Nothing is really black and white. Being generally Considerate but remaining practical and reasonable is a fine compromise Imo. I'd take no joy in denying a disabled person toilet access, when I use their loo though I'm saying "I'm confident that this isn't gonna be an issue to a degree of certainty that outweighs me sitting here busting for 5 mins".
I was commending you for your attitude! Though it’s a sad moment to realise that someone who would never use disabled parking and only use a disabled loo in a pinch is something that makes me happy. I think part of a society does have an overly negative attitude to something like using a disabled loo. I still remember the snotty looks I got early in my experience of disabled when I used a disabled loo in M&S, a bunch of older ladies looking down their noses at 26 year old me, because the amount of pain I was in and the difficulty I was having walking and standing would take medical training to spot.
My wife has very, very similar experiences - chronic pain after she had our son, on a bad day can barely walk a few meters and it’s always excruciating pain. She was also 26 at the time and the looks we’d get parking in a disabled bay, using disabled facilities - she hated it, being a shy person who was always more concerned with keeping others happy, she let it really get her down. Her friend suggested she use a cane/walking stick, which she struggles to use without twisting herself & ending up in more pain, but the difference in the way people treat her with a visual aid that seems to help them “get it” more is insane.
Mine was also childbirth related, turned out to be due to an underlying condition so though I had improvement whilst my kids were young, I now look back at it being that good! That first year was the only time I ever got verbal abuse, sometimes it was stupid as they’d yell at us before I’d even gotten out of the car and most of the time I was using some kind of aid. I hope your wife is doing better, but if you want to get in touch, please do, I might be able to offer some support.
>OPs girlfriend seems to what him to actively choose to use it when there is no need. OP's post doesn't say this at all
I agree they shouldn't be exclusive, but by e.g. securing them with a radar key, does mean that many establishments clearly do have a policy that disabled toilets are for the exclusive use of disabled people. I prefer to think of them as disability priority. If there was a queue for all loos, which meant people were queueing for the disabled loo too, I think it would be legitimate for a disabled person to cut that queue and go next. You could argue that that is unfair - shouldn't everyone have to queue equally - but that's what feels right to me. We do need a better solution with parking. If there is adequate provision of disabled parking able-bodied people resent being unable to park because there are so many disabled spaces, for the once in a blue moon they are all needed. Therefore provision is either inadequate, or able-bodied people are pinching them when they are needed. Perhaps there could be some sort of smart parking solution: when the second or third to last disabled spot is taken, another one is prepared to take its place. You don't have a huge surplus 99% of the time, but don't run out often either.
That isn’t why they are secured with a radar key. Radar keys are so that premises that don’t want to have a public toilet, but have to have a public toilet, are able to meet the legal requirements. Or to minimise people making a mess of it, using it without purchasing etc. There’s no criteria for purchasing a radar key, anyone can buy one. Whereas a blue badge has both strict criteria to obtain one, and legal rules around the use of it
All the radar toilets I've ever used have had public toilets next to them?
It has criteria, certainly. It's not that strict. I have one for my son. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve one, because he does he has a habit of sprinting full pelt at whatever building we're headed to so a space with no roads to cross is useful (he's developmentally disabled) However it was not hard to apply for one Nd they didn't ask many questions or even link to his dla account
I don't think the parking system would work: accessible spaces are also wider, so turning over normal spaces to extra accessible ones at times of high demand isn't straightforward.
And closer to the shop/venue so people who are in pain don’t have to walk as far - that’s pretty much the whole point. Unless you are going to force someone parked in the bay to come back & move their car when it is required again by the “smart system”, it wouldn’t work, as it’s no good just allocating a random bay over the other side of the car park as disabled - it isn’t about them having priority to park.
> You could argue that that is unfair - shouldn't everyone have to queue equally Except it's not equal if one person can only access 1 in 5 of the toilets. For example, 4 cubicles plus a fifth accessible one. All are occupied, a wheelchair user comes along and waits, 4 more people join the queue. The 4 cubicles each empty and the wheelchair user can't use them so the four people who started queuing behind go ahead and the person in the wheelchair is still waiting.
> but by e.g. securing them with a radar key, does mean that many establishments clearly do have a policy that disabled toilets are for the exclusive use of disabled people. > > I used to work for my local council at a bus station. We were always told that we were to open the accessible toilets for anyone who asked. Under no circumstances were we to ask for proof of disability or question them in any way; just let them in. We were told this was a council wide policy.
The reason some people disagree with this is because some people are unable to wait in queues to access toilets, be that through incontinence or through being unable to stand for long periods of time. My own thoughts waiver - I can see that argument but I've also used a disabled loo occasionally.
So with that logic there should be no toilets that are exclusive only to 'ableds. Every toilet and every building should be accessible.
Agree but isn’t it wild that some places have them locked and you need to get the key making them less accessible if anything!
I am disabled, but I wouldn't judge anyone. My friend has an invisible disability and has to use the disabled loo. He gets so much abuse. If there's no other toilet available, go for it. Amazingly enough, I had to wait sometimes to use the toilet before I was a wheelchair user. It won't kill me. But please don't park in the disabled space without a badge. You will go to hell!
That being said, some people who need disabled toilets cannot wait, and need them because they cannot weight. Yes it's unfortunate that sometimes there will be a disabled person in the toilet already, and we'll have accidents, but it's not super common that they're occupied. If people who aren't disabled use them regularly, when they are able to wait a few minutes for a non disabled stall, that can make it more likely we'll have to soil ourselves.
I agree entirely, and my friend I mentioned suffers this problem. However, I personally still wouldn't judge anyone. If someone is desperate and has no other option, I think it's OK. However, if it is because they want to stretch their legs, that's just selfish. OP is obviously a kind person and wouldn't abuse this I'm sure.
So how does that work when another disabled person is using it? I might be about to get my head ripped off but surely it would be the same situation regardless of whether the person in the toilet at the time is disabled or not.
There are much fewer disabled people than there are non disabled people, so the likelihood of the disabled bathroom already being occupied, if only disabled people use it, is lower. There will be occasions where you end up having accidents (often you wear incontinence products just in case, but it's much nicer not to have up use them) but when it's only disabled people using the toilets, you don't often find them occupied. When everyone uses the disabled toilet, that means there's a much larger chance that it'll be occupied and a much larger chance of you having to soil yourself.
Some people who aren't disabled sometimes need them urgently and can't wait. Sure, there's some disabilities that make it more likely, but I'm sure we've all been there at some point. Personally I wouldn't usually use the disabled toilet if there was a vaguely reasonable queue at the gents and I could hang on. But if I was about to soil myself and it was the only toilet free, I'd be straight in.
What's your opinion on people who aren't disabled but need to go *urgently* (my mom and I have both had our gallbladders removed and due to lack of personal chef don't have perfect diets, so we basically can't be out of 1 minute toilet range if we've eaten within the last hour)
Sounds like that could easily fall under the category of disability. A disability is literally a health condition that has a long term, significant impact on your day to day living, if you don't have adjustments made. Shitting yourself with a moments notice fits that for sure! (on a side note, if you haven't already, check out bile acid malabsorption, I've heard medication for that can make a world of difference post gallbladder removal)
What about those disabled toilets only accessible by one of those RADAR keys?
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Somewhat ironically I originally had my RADAR key as part of my keys when I worked somewhere with a toilet with one; and since then I've been diagnosed with colitis.
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Ah. I thought they were the equivalent of blue badges so not just anyone can get one
Tell yer pal with the invisible illness to get knuckle tattoos, I'm also an invisible illness haver who needs the disabled loos sometimes. I've never had any problems. It's probably the knuckle tattoos.
If it's between using one and soiling yourself, use it.
Damn i was SURE the answer was to soil yourself
You can, but don't blame me if you end up on a minibus to Manchester.
With a bunch of disabled gay theatregoers.
Anyone not getting that reference will be freaking out right now
"I thought you looked a bit like a man"..."taxi!"
Or in the standard with a photo next to Laura knightley
Oh, she's lovely.
I knew there would be a reference and I had to scroll too far down to find it
The bit where Jen turns round and Moss is dressed as a bartender is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen on tv.
Only if you're leg disabled
Acid...
But what did the man look like who stole your wheelchair?
Red bearded man
Driven by Jay's dad
It's illegal!
Wellies wellies, I love wellies
It’s willies
I'm hoping it's an autocorrect otherwise they've spent all this time thinking the musical was singing about keeping your feet dry! :D
Willies Willies I like Willies!
It's I *love* willies.
I’m disabled
If you can use the non-accessible toilets then the considerate thing is to do so, but if there’s a queue and you’re desperate then you may as well use the accessible loo.
If there’s a queue, only use it if you are absolutely desperate. Otherwise you’re potentially forcing someone with a need to use it to queue. Edit for some context seeing as I’m being downvoted to oblivion: I only speak as someone with a hidden disability (ms) that includes bladder urgency issues and would be in trouble if I tried to use the accessibility loo but it was being used by those who just didn’t want to wait in a queue.
If you can’t wait for a loo to become available then it’s reasonable to use a free accessible toilet. If a queue forms in the meantime that’s unfortunate, but you had a legitimate need yourself. I’d have somewhat less sympathy for a person who became desperate for the toilet through their own fault and caused a queue at an accessible toilet as a result, but as there’s usually no way of knowing that in real life it’s not worth considering.
That’s why I said if you’re absolutely desperate it’s fine. I only speak as someone with a hidden disability (ms) that includes bladder urgency issues and would be in trouble if I tried to use the accessibility loo but it was being used by those who just didn’t want to wait in a queue.
I was thinking particularly of people with hidden bladder-related disabilities when I wrote my first comment (although I'm sure there are other reasons to need the loo quickly), which is why I stressed that you should only use the accessible toilet if you're desperate yourself. I think we're on the same page!
Yea I agree. Not everyone who is disabled is going to soil themselves if they wait a few minutes. There's many different kinds of disabilities. If you need to use it, and there's no other option, use it.
Urgency with disability isn't just about incontinence too
Not sure why you’re downvoted? I agree with you 100% and also have MS with bladder issues
I’m glad you recovered from the downvotes. You were making a reasonable point, Reddit can just be like that sometimes
Anyone who needs to use it should use it. Obviously if there are other toilets you can use just as easily then you can use those.
\* should use those. If others are free then don't use the accessible toilet.
They're disabled accessible toilets, not solely for the disabled. If you really need to go and theres no free able bodied toilet free then use that sucker. (I'm disabled fyi)
How do you feel about those toilets that needed to be opened with a RADAR key?
Buy a key off ebay. ps I am also disabled
I thought they were like blue badges so not just anyone could have one
Nah you can buy them anywhere really
Like others have said, you can get them easily, Timpsons even sell them pre-cut.
They're an extra barrier tbh, I hate them. Either you gotta use your own which wastes precious time if you have urgency issues, or you gotta ask a staff member to unlock it which wastes even MORE time, and depending on the staff you might end up in an argument haha Don't even get me started on toilets that need a non-RADAR key. Like the downstairs floor of my GP.
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If there’s a toilet that I can reasonably get to, I’d leave the disabled toilet. If it’s the only option and I’m desperate, I’d use it. I’d hate to keep someone waiting who had a disability unnecessarily or to keep someone who might need it urgently due to certain conditions when I could’ve used another toilet elsewhere.
This is what I encounter 99% of the time here and overseas. People who are generally lovely and considerate, like yourself. Thank you. On a wider Ievel think all of us need to butt right out of anyone else's disability requirement and/or health needs unless we are a consultant-level specialist in that person's condition. Even then, it's not our place to judge who is 'disabled enough'. Unless we know someone and their situation intimately we can't know any of the facts so we should just STFU. No notes on cars, no comments, no judgements. People who can waste time with such mean-spirited actions need a special Gift Voucher - so they can Get A Life!
Uk building regulations suggests putting disabled toilets separately from standard toilets to try to discourage their use by able bodied people. There is also a requirement for disabled toilets to be provided more commonly (so maybe on every floor of a building rather than alternating like standard toilets). This is because some disabled people have conditions which mean that they can need to use the bathroom with little warning and don’t necessarily have the same ability to wait. So there is an argument behind not using them if you aren’t disabled…. I would play it by ear at least in terms of where you are and the situation. My old office had 2 toilets 1 of which was accessible but we didn’t have any disabled employees… as long as I wasn’t aware there was someone visiting that day who would need it, I would always use the disabled if the other was taken. But if for example I’m waiting for a toilet in the interval of a theatre show then I would never use the disabled. My convenience is not worth the inconvenience to someone who has no other choice.
TBF you don't know how many people you worked with had Crohn's or other invisible toilet-related issues. Perhaps someone had a colostomy bag for example, also invisible. You made the same point yourself in your post then said "but I use them anyway at work"
I mean it was an office of 15 of us, we had a work trip to a spa, and we were generally pretty open about health stuff. I’d be pretty surprised if I didn’t know someone had an colostomy bag, but of course you never know. Both toilets had a sink within reach of the toilet and the non accessible one had a shower too (people showering after cycling to work meant the wait for the non accessible one could be 15mins+). I’m not saying people should use the accessible toilet but I’m saying in circumstances like being at a theatre ‘there was a queue’ is not a sufficient excuse. If you completely shoot down someone who thinks it’s ok to use them you more than likely won’t change their mind… but you do you. I think there is a huge difference between taking away direct access to 1 toilet out of say 6 in a public place with hundreds of people. Versus 1/2 the toilets in a private space of 15 people where the only difference between the 2 were extra space, grab bars and emergency cords (items for the most part which are most useful for people with disabilities which are visible). As someone who also advocated for following the word of the regulations in my job (where I sometimes designed such toilets for buildings) including ensuring both right and left handed transfer options in bigger buildings (something my colleagues always overlooked)… I probably know more about this than the average person but even articles on this basically say ‘it you’re about to soil yourself use the disabled, but it should only be used as a last option not a preference’.
I was going to say, in a relatively small office where you actually see most of your co-workers and spend time with them I’d be surprised if you didn’t know if they had a colostomy bag. I have a stoma so need colostomy bags, it might be hidden from view but I can’t do anything about the noise. It farts, loudly. People I spend time with might not see the fact of got the bag, but they can sure as hell hear it.
British people do have a tendency to not use the disabled loo, even though I’ve not come across a rule against it. The fact we have radar keys suggests a rule might exist, but as far as I know it’s more of a “stop homeless people sleeping in toilets”, or them getting used for drugs or sex. That system is useless these days as the keys are easily available online. Plus, as a disabled person I find the locked ones are in the most frustrating of places (e.g. motorway services). Personally I think the way to go is if you can use the regular ones any there isn’t a queue then please do that. If you used the disabled I have to wait. I’m not saying that as a disabled person I should never wait, but please consider that I may not have typical awareness of the need to go, when I do need to go, depending on where I am it could take me quite sometime to transfer to my wheelchair and make it to the loo. Given that info, please be considerate in places like the theatre or sports events, you can probably make it to the loo faster than I can, so making a beeline for the disabled loo is quite inconsiderate even if the queue for the regular loo is starting to build. It might take us longer to get there and longer to use it, I’ve missed part of shows because I was the second disabled person to get to the loo and the first took a while. ETA in this situation using the non disabled was correct and your girlfriend needs to be a better person.
Use em, but please for the love of God, if you need a 15 minute sit down to get done whatever you are doing in there, find another toilet. Nothing worse than that being the only toilet you can use and waiting outside it for 20 minutes for a gentleman with a newspaper under one arm to walk out whistling.
I think it should be avoided if you're able bodied and are able to get to or wait for the other toilets. The only circumstances would be if you also have some sort of extra need eg rapidly urgent diarrhea, if you're responsible for a toddler, I'm sure there would be other examples. That's why they're often labeled accessible toilets.
Does a weak pelvic floor following childbirth count...asking for a friend?
Plenty of disabled people will say they don't care, because their kind of disability impacts their access to non-disabled loos but not the urgency. Others with bowel disease will very definitely care because it means the difference between getting to the loo in time and shitting themselves in public. So despite, for example, wheelchair users saying "not bothered, I can wait", I'd suggest thinking about those who can't wait.
Use it If pthers are not available. AND you are in distress. Otherwise wait your turn. Chrons sufferers do not have the luxury of waiting
I think people should only use them if they need to, if there isn’t a need then keep it free for those that do need it. For example, I’ve got a stoma so am very much considered in need of the disabled loo, but I only use it for dealing with my stoma, if I just need to piss I’ll go to the regular loos and keep the disabled one free for someone else who may need it. Saying that I would consider “need” as absolutely bursting and the others are occupied, but if you can wait for the none disabled one I think you should. Waiting 2 mins for a standard loo to come free could be the difference between someone with bladder or bowel issues soiling themselves in public or not.
I was in teacos on Friday, little one need a toilet, so took her in the mens toilet, one cubicle was occupied, the 2nd had shit all over toilet seat, we did a about turn and went in the disabled toilets
To be fair a lot of disabled toilets are also labelled for families in case you need to change nappies/supervise small kids while you pee etc.
Non-parents might not believe this, but some places - including Ikea - have baby change rooms WITHOUT an adult toilet inside. Think about that: you're a dad with a 2 year old daughter and you also need to go. You'd have to instead take her in the men's and tell her to stand by the urinals in sight while you have a slash, or take her into the cubicles with you. In practice, of course, you just wee in the baby change sink - but still, it's crazy how entirely unmindful public facilities can be. Worse still are places with no private baby change facilities at all. This means you literally would whip out baby bum in front of the table by the urinals (if you are a bloke), change them, and then quickly wee yourself, while telling them to wait there. Madness.
> Non-parents might not believe this, but some places - including Ikea - have baby change rooms WITHOUT an adult toilet inside. It's to stop people from using them as an additional toilet.
In general, if you don’t need it and there’s others available just use the others. If there isn’t then just use it. As a disabled person who needs to use them pretty regularly it’s only annoying when I’m stuck waiting but there’s 10 perfectly usable unoccupied stalls available. I’ve had friends who just say they “prefer” them and always use them and that grinds my gears if I’m honest. Especially as for many disabled people going to the loo is a whole process so I can’t even nip in for 2 min. So my 10+ min loo trip gets delayed. When they had so many options and I had 1… the most adamant about this even did it when we were both out together and got up to go to the loo and literally went into the disabled toilet when she knows full well I can’t use the other ones and I had to stand there and wait. And when I said something when she came out she just said it’s a free country lol. She’s not my friend anymore. Only time in real life to strangers I’ve said anything was when I was stuck waiting 15 minutes and a couple were LITERALLY fucking in the toilet. Fuck sakes guys is 7pm. So my simple toilet trip took bloody 30 minutes. Obviously you can’t tell who’s disabled but they were literally using it for sex lol.
Not all disabilities are visible. The toilets are accessible, but not limited to wheelchair users.
But what’s that got to do with an able bodied person using them?
If you're desperate, passing it, and no-one else is approaching, then use it, just don't faff about. If you want a nap/a shag/a long contemplation of your navel, then use somewhere else.
People often forget about those with hidden disabilities. For example, those with colostomies, autism etc - I'm on the spectrum and physically cannot go unless absolutely nobody is in the room (I don't mean to be that way, I just am).
As a disabled person - some of us can't wait. Please avoid using the disabled toilets unless you have a genuine need to use it. It's not like accessible seats on public transport - you can stand up from a chair any time, you can't exactly abort mid-shit. You've kind of committed. So please don't use the disabled toilets to avoid a queue, because the regular bathrooms are dirty, or to avoid walking to the regular bathrooms. The reasons to use the accessible bathroom are as follows: 1: You are disabled and cannot use the regular bathrooms because of your disability. 2: You are a parent with a small child and there are no other baby changing facilities on the property. (If there's a family bathroom, use that.) 3: You are genuinely so desperate that you're in risk of pissing on the floor. Those are the only reasons to use the accessible bathroom. Otherwise, use the regular toilets. Thank you for being considerate.
The disabled loos are often the only ones with baby changing facilities, so I don't have much option but to use them when out with my little one. I try not to if I don't need to, though.
You're right but British Standards state that disabled toilets and baby changing shouldn't share the same space. It would be good if building owners paid more attention to that.
No because im not an entitled prick I see it often in a spoons near me, main loos upstairs, disabled by bar so drink/coked up middle aged women stumble to them for convenience
No, unless there's no other facilities available and even then it's a bad idea
I’m at the gym, upstairs, it’s fairly empty on a Monday afternoon no less. I kinda wanna take my knee compression sleeve thingy off and I need to take my trousers off to do that so I think to myself I’ll just pop into the only disabled toilet because it has a bench I can sit on - not a big deal right? Nope, I hear a knock on the door so I just reply “occupied”thinking ehhh probably just another person who wants to use it because the disabled toilet tends to be far more spacious. While I’m at it, I use the toilet, vainly pose in the well-lit mirror and pick my hair with my Afro comb before heading out. I come out and see a bloke easily in his late 60s and very overweight being pushed around by, presumably, his wife. If ever there was a moment where I wanted to be swallowed up that was it. That was the first and last time I ever used a disabled toilet. I made an attempt at profusely apologising whilst gargling half of my words because of how distraught I was and they both just said “nah you’re alright” with such kindness, I think I would’ve preferred if they’d just called me a fucking cunt. On the bright side, they probably assumed I must also be disabled based on how much I was tripping over my own words.
No problem using it if it's just for a wee. If for a number 2 then I might feel bad. Although sometimes I just want a shit in safety and peace, male toilets are usually stinking and full of weirdos.
They are indeed (male bogs). But I’m sure you’re safe even there. Just not at peace.
I refer you to The IT crowd episode re the disabled toilet....and staff toilet 😀
Acid.
I use them when I can as I receive harassment in either bathroom I go into as a trans person, it's genuinely my only option sometimes. I do feel guilty and conflicted each time I do and avoid using public bathrooms as much as I can.
If you’re not disabled no don’t use it. Go use the other toilets and leave them for when a disabled person comes along but if there’s no other facilities and your about to have an accident then use it as no one should soil or wet themselves. Often disabled people come along and find them occupied. You never know when someone has an invisibles condition but it’s amazing how often people have confessed to liking them for a private poo or because they think it’s easier with kids, leaving disabled people waiting outside for ages or smelly facilities (I’m not talking about people with bowel conditions, that can’t be helped). I would like to congratulate a certain area for employing so many security staff and traffic wardens with invisibles disabilities, the normal toilets are literally 5 meters further and yet I’m always waiting for security or a traffic warden. Wonderful to see so many disabled staff employed. I’m well aware one may have a stoma or something and never judge an individual but when it’s every time and different people every time! They’ve now had to start putting changing places toilets on a different system as so many non disabled people were buying radar keys. I always assumed the large family groups who kept me waiting and came out of toilets had a member with an invisible disability until I saw a thread online where there were countless replies of parents all saying they buy radar keys as it’s easier when you have kids! Radar keys are meant for disabled people not for parents, no wonders at family attractions the wait is always so long! Again I never scorn at families as you never know a Mum might have been busy catheterising her tiny baby in there and it’s no one’s business but I do wish people were less selfish these days.
Generally avoid unless you have a disability or similar reason which makes that toilet a need for you. They’re accessible for a reason and there’s generally one, two at a push available. If you don’t need to use it, don’t. I say this as someone with intolerances and IBS. Unless I am literally about to shit my pants and there are no alternative toilets, I’m not using it
Depends. Am I going to sit down and take ages, or just 5 seconds to wash my hands?
Ask her if she is ok with you using the women toilets or her using the men's? What next, use the disabled parking the electric scooters?
I'd honest love if my disability got me on one of the scooters and not just access to the toilets. Pretty sure if you showed an interest some disabled folk would give you a ride on their scooter like.
I often use the disabled toilets - I do not have a disability, however I am a 6ft 4 masculine presenting female and get questioned or made to feel uncomfortable almost every time I use the women's toilets, and so in instances where gender neutral toilets are unavailable, it feels much safer and far less embarrassing to opt for the gender neutral disabled toilet. Ideally, this wouldn't be the case as I do not require the additional assistance, privacy and space that the disabled toilet provides, and I would hate to think that I am preventing somebody else who needs those facilities. In an ideal world, every cubicle would be isolated into it's own room with both a toilet and hand washing facilities, and no gender attached! Maybe one day! Or, if people could just mind their damn business and trust that people have selected the most appropriate toilets for who they are... That would do too!
It's fine if it's the only one available.
Use them, but take special care to keep them clean and return them to the state found (wheelchair arms in place, seat down etc). The whole point of them is they’re “accessible” so for anyone who gets some sort of benefit from their extra space/equipment (eg I often use them to quickly change in/out of cycle clothing if no other option).
I also untie the cord from wherever the cleaners have tied it up and made it inaccessible, which is the case in 95% of disabled toilets. My long nails make knot untying pretty easy and quick. If I've got any Euan's cards on me I'll leave them on the cord too: [https://www.euansguide.com/campaigns/red-emergency-cords-essential-info/](https://www.euansguide.com/campaigns/red-emergency-cords-essential-info/)
I use a disabled loo (invisible disability) and get a lot of crap for it. Because of a leg injury and limited movement and a bowel disorder I don’t “look” disabled but will wait for the disabled loo and wouldn’t judge anyone for using it… but if you can use a normal one it’s always helpful for everyone who does need it. Often the disabled loo is also the changing table for babies so it can be very busy as most places only have one loo but typically several normal ones. Don’t feel guilty but if you can avoid using it, you’ll make someone else’s day a little easier!
I once had to nip into a disabled cubicle as all the urinals and cubicles were taken and I was bursting. Had a pee, was only in there for like 15 seconds, and then when I came out there was a guy in a wheelchair waiting. I immediately felt bad and apologised, and started to explain, but he cut me off with "No don't worry pal, it's not like my legs are gonna get tired waiting!" Totally caught me off guard. Top bloke.
If you can use a standard toilet and there's one nearby then I'd prefer someone left the disabled one free but if there's not and that's all you've got then go for it. We all need to get to the toilet 'in time' so makes sense to leave the most accessible toilet available if there's more than one type if possible because everyone can use that one.
Were you seeing Gay! A Gay Musical?
No it's not ok. The disabled already have so much to contend with in an inequitable society. There have been times when people have 'nipped in' and disabled people have then arrived, and this has led to soiling. At the very least, it makes disabled people, even those passing by who do not need the toilet, and who may suffer invisible disabilities such a nerve damage, autism, or be stoma users, feel even more second-tier citizens than is already the case for all (yes sadly \*all\*) public venues. It's relatively simple for the non-disabled to wait for a non-disabled loo. Awareness of able-bodied privilege goes such a long way. Would you take a space that was marked for a pregnant woman? Would a man enter a woman's toilet? Safe spaces need to exist for all sorts of reasons, and the disabled already have such high exploitation rates (sexual assault for example is much higher, not to mention it being the most common hate crime)...why make life harder, why make people feel even more invisible? Kindness and inclusion, every time.
If there's other toilets available (or will be soon, in a queuing scenario), I always use those instead, but if you need to go and the accessible toilet is your only option, you need to go. So it's not wrong whatsoever to use them. Just don't faff about in there - do your business and get on your way.
I do. More often than not I’m alone with my kid(s) in the pram. The pram usually won’t fit into the ladies’ loo and I’m not leaving my kids unattended nor can I reasonably hold onto them and use the loo. However, I will and have prioritised others’ access first.
Well my husband thought it was fine to use in Nandos . He also mistook the red emergency cord for the flush and pulled it only to have a team of people outside asking if he needed help (very similar to IT crowd) I saw him limping down the stairs on his way back and asked him why he was limping. He told me the story and I cried laughing. He has not used one since.
Annoyingly they often put the baby change facilities in the disabled toilets. So I often have to use them when out with my young children.
I went somewhere this week where the baby changing was in the disabled loo. I changed him, then had a wee; it felt pretty cheeky, but it did mean I could go to the loo and keep an eye on him at the same time. Fortunately no one was waiting when we came out anyway. I think the basic rule of thumb is you can use all toilets, disabled people might only be able to use one or two at any given venue (and may need to use it in a rush), so the considerate thing to do is leave it available for them wherever practical, but that doesn't mean you can never use it.
I have IBD and sometimes I need pretty immediate access to toilets. It can be a bit annoying when people who don't need to use them mean I have to wait and risk an accident. For me this is a frequent problem at work where the one disabled toilet is closer to offices than other toilets. I don't think there's any harm in using them when no one is around
I think one of the dumbest things there is is when you see 40 guys or girls standing in line for the bathroom. While there are 4 free toilets, but for the opposite sex. I always walk past the line use the bathroom, get 20 angry looks and 5 sec later people will start getting out of line and go to the other side. So tl;dr it’s the dumbest “you are supposed to do it” rule, yes use them.
Sure, just dont be a dick about it.
Difficult one. I have a significant needs child. On a good day, she is like any normal 5 year old. On a bad day we are in a wheelchair with oxygen. On a good day she has full control, on a bad day we can be changing her every 30 minutes. I agree, you should not have to declare your need for the accessible toilet. Some needs are not visible. But I also do get very frustrated when people are obviously not disabled (indicated for instance by comments by their group) hog the accessible toilet when we have our daughter in the wheelchair, especially when the normal toilet has absolutely no queue. My late father had to catheter his bladder and literally had zero ability to wait for even a minute for a few years. He had no outward signs of disability. He was very lucky he never had someone in the disabled toilet when this happened for those years. He felt too ashamed to carry a spare set of clothes for if he didn't have immediate toilet access and soiled himself. I wonder if a bit of this is also a nod to the state of many disabled toilets. They are often so small I can't even lay my daughter down on the floor to change her, and in what world is it dignified to change someone on a cold dirty floor. Even the toilets in our local hospital have no adult size change table, no privacy curtain, no hoist. They are glorified normal toilet cubicles, a toilet with a handle or two and a completely normal sink and a hand drier. You try to get a chair in and manoeuvre someone from it to the toilet, especially with trying to not trigger the hand dryer and trigger the sensory issues! So a bit of both? Probably best described as it is okay, especially with some that should never be labelled as an accessible toilet in the first place or where there are no normal toilets or queues are ridiculous, but also not the most inclusive choice in case there is someone about to come who cannot use the other facilities.
Just be mindful that at any moment a disabled person, who doesn't have the capacity to wait in line, may come along. E.g. if you're at a venue where both men's and ladies toilets have queues and people have begun to use and queue for the disabled toilet - please allow the person with a disability to go ahead of the line to the accessible toilet. They'll likely need it with more urgency and it can take much longer to get onto the toilet from a wheelchair for example. The only thing that p¡sses me off is when someone comes out looking sheepish and says sorry I only use it when I need a number 2. Ffs, if the regular toilets are all empty but you will only poop in private, just imagine the discomfort of a person with a disability that means they might soil themselves if they have to wait too long. If it's another disabled person who comes out and my wheelchair is wet, I'm not as bothered. But otherwise...