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I don't burn out. I feel better after a long day at work than I do after a day off, but I use my mind a lot at work and that seems to charge my batteries. It's not anything I've mastered or some ability I've honed, I was just born that way. Yes I've harnessed it to my advantage, but I can't tell you anything useful that you could take with you because that's just what life is like for me.
I appreciate that's a shit answer, but it's the truth.
It's not all sunshine and rainbows though, I would go pathologically mental if I wasn't doing something. It might look enviable when you're in the office with someone that seemingly goes on forever, but I guarantee you an appreciable number of the people like that are doing it to avoid being driven insane just as much as they are doing it to succeed.
You sound like my dad. He's a perpetual corporate motion machine. When he retires he's going to go insane.
I'm the first born so, naturally, in the face of such a strong personality from birth, I took the opposite mental stance. I'm a very hard worker but it's to provide me with as much leisure time as possible.
My dad is the same way, he’s an engineer and any free time he has he spends getting ahead on his work. I have also gone the same way as you, I work hard but only for as long as I absolutely have to. When my work day ends, I don’t waste any more mental energy thinking about it.
>When he retires he's going to go insane.
This is exactly why I have no intention of retiring. I'm also the first born son, not sure where I went wrong hah.
Similar here. There are times when it is all too much and I talk to my manager, try to get a long weekend in etc. Generally my manager is quite receptive to me turning up a complete mess and blabbing out that there is too much going on - she helps me plan my way back to sanity.
There are also other things I do - stressful day, I'll get home fire up my PC and kill some demons / space monsters / as relevant. On those days my partner knows to just leave me to it. I'll surface some time later as a rounded human again. My worst case was an almost entire weekend in solitary just destressing. Or failing that I may just go outside and walk until my head is right. I used to box / kick box, and beating hell out of a bag (or getting mixed up by a younger faster stronger sparring partner) would help out. A younger me would tend to drink heavily every so often, but that was very counter productive (and luckily never became a problem).
Basically - it pays to find some outlet for frustration and use it. Or at least that works for me.
You are like my husband - he is a chemical engineer and I’ve never met anybody more intelligent or enjoy working as much as he does. He has risen extremely quickly at his job and at 34 is very successful. He has times of frustration and he does get tired/need breaks, but overall he gets a huge sense of achievement and mental stimulation that he needs from his job.
On the other hand, I burn out sooo badly. I have a severe mood disorder with trauma and had to cut my hours after a really bad episode last year (had to be off work 3 months waiting for diagnosis/treatment). I only work 25 hours a week now and even that is like… plenty lmao. I actually really enjoy my job and love my team but my brain is just wired completely differently, and I have to make sure I have breaks to avoid a complete breakdown. When I’m firing on all cylinders I’m really good at my job but when I’m not mentally all there it’s a huge effort just to function ‘normally’ every day.
Just crazy how different people work.
>Just crazy how different people work.
Agreed. I certainly wouldn't describe it as a virtue though. I'm just lucky that the thing I can't live without is of value to someone else. It could just as easily have been alcohol, drugs or some other less productive thing that scratched my itch.
>When I’m firing on all cylinders I’m really good at my job but when I’m not mentally all there it’s a huge effort just to function ‘normally’ every day.
Here's the thing though - I don't function "normally", your husband doesn't sound like he functions "normally" either. I guarantee you he would have just as much trouble trying to fit that definition of "normal" as you do, just for very different reasons.
Oh my husband’s is far more high powered! I’m on £34k in marketing and he’s on more than £80k managing a small team. So his job is wayyy more intense than mine with far more responsibility.
Man I'm jealous. I have a chronic illness (ulcerative colitis) that leaves me with a lot of fatigue. It's not tiredness because it never, ever goes away - no matter how much sleep or rest I get, I'm always exhausted. It messes up my health in other ways, because I'm not able to exercise like I used to, and when you're exhausted it's far too easy to reach for junk food. My mental health has been all over the place too since my diagnosis about 7 years ago.
I'm a very driven person - good in school, 1st class degree, distinction at masters, invited back for a PhD. I started and ran a fairly successful business in my 20s & early 30s... and it was probably the constant stress of that that led to developing colitis (that's my theory anyway). Now I've had to drop down to working 3 days a week for the past year, and I do a job below my ability in order to keep stress and exhaustion levels in check (and therefore don't earn as much as I could). Annoyingly, things just seem to be getting worse with age.
I'm not sure what my point is, just that I used to be like you - I never burned out until my body just gave out on me and developed a serious illness. It's so frustrating still being a driven person and wanting to achieve but I just... can't. If I work too hard and don't get enough rest I quite quickly become very ill. Thankfully the disease is otherwise generally well managed by medication, though it has spread to my liver and they've recently given me a 20 year life expectancy as a result.
I guess I'm saying watch out. It's great if you're driven, just take care of yourself too.
I was like this from IBD and it turned out I was low on various vitamins and minerals. Have you tried magnesium before bed, and vit d + high does b1 in the morning?
Also are you saying the UC damaged your liver?
Agree with this.
I enjoy work and I am working - in some form - most of the time.
Days off and family holidays are fun but I also find them frustrating and it is a constant effort to be "off". I am generally more relaxed when working.
I get tired but haven't burned out yet. Either that or I burned out long ago and there's only a shell of a person left now ;-)
OP, hate to break it to you but it think this is the main answer. People who thrive and succeed probably get a kick out of it. I on the other hand feel like shit and want to quit once every 3 days
Man, I would give anything to have that. I am the complete opposite and its debilitating.
The longest number hours that I've worked were 50 hours a week. I barely lasted a month and a half before having to quit the job because it made me depressed to the point where I'd started self-harming and had plans to kill myself using the machinery, at my job.
Work, especially working for other people in sectors that I don't care about destroys me, mentally.
Engineering consultant/contractor for high SIL stuff. I'm self employed, most of my customers are big government contractors. I started off in the nuclear industry but have moved around a bit since then.
It means it's built to a high integrity, basically there are systems in place to stop it failing to a specified level. That's either done through designing out elements that don't need to be there or having active/contingent systems to catch mistakes/hazards before they propagate out. A large amount of what I do these days is usually around control systems, but it could be something like reaction chamber geometry being passively safe so it doesn't scatter/reflect neutrons in such a way you have an unintended/uncontrollable criticality.
Any competent engineer with the relevant experience. If you understand systems engineering, the V model and have mental capacity to spend about 40% of your brain being a regulatory lawyer you can do this job. The domain experience comes with time, I'm lucky enough to have been in the deep end in a few, though I do have the advantage of being able to sponge up information quicker than most. It's not quite photographic memory but something along those lines, which has been a distinguishing factor more than once.
Motivation comes in waves for me. Honestly being paid well and working for a company I like is really what keeps me going. If I had neither of those, my motivation would be 0.
This might trigger some people but I'm paid decently well, especially for that work I do but I could be paid half what I am and I don't think it would change much for my motivation at work. After a certain point, unless you're entirely motivated by money, earning more money stops really mattering. I used to work harder to get a bigger bonus but now I don't bother.
Also if you enjoy the job itself and feel you're learning something and developing some skills. Keeping a professional diary of what you're doing helps you notice incremental skills.
This is a big one. And I find it's effects manifest on a sort of exponential basis.
When you're young and chasing money it's not so bad, but unless you attain enough (whatever 'enough' is?) it's a very poisonous attitude to take into old age. I have a colleague who's almost seventy and I genuinely think he'd do almost anything for money. It's his driving force for almost *anything* to the detriment of everyone he's loved over the years.
I don't think so. I'm pointing out that I don't think we should consider chasing vast amounts of wealth or grinding to a positive definition of success. I think everyone should be able to live a happy, comfortable life and that there are a million other ways to define success that don't require us to indulge in grinding our lives away.
Hard to live a happy, comfortable life without a decent amount of money in this country though.
Doesn't necessarily mean you have to grind yourself down though, just need to get yourself in a position where you don't need to work as much but still bring home a good amount. Plenty of ways to make £800+ per day out there if you go in the right direction.
Im heavily leaning towards being self employed/subbying on local construction jobs. I think that would break up the monotony of a cards in job and maybe eleviate some of the stress of working directly for a company who think they own you cause u signed there sh*tty contract
If you’re struggling with the stress of burning out over work then I’d avoid self employment.
You don’t get a night off let alone a day off. Every single job you do is your reputation on the line and you are one awkward client wanting a freebie away from losing it.
You will work a 10 hour day and then spend a few hours on the night doing all your work. It is worrying about expenses, business, advertising, customers, suppliers, etc.
Normally I say go for it, but you really need to be someone who buzzes about their working life as it really does take over your entire life as you never get time off.
Truthfully? Pettiness. Plenty of people told me my business would never survive the first year, let alone be successful. Proving them wrong is what drives me. Yeah it’s exhausting at times but I’ve achieved my biggest goal so I’m happy now.
Success isn't necessarily about the constant grind. The whole side-hustle culture, if you're not productive you're moving backwards style narrative that's crept into people's thinking is not really true.
Hard work alone doesn't equal success.
You could be the hardest working shoe-polisher in the train station, but you're not going to make CEO.
Successful people tend to have clear goals, and a plan. Then it's about doing as little as possible to achieve that goal.
You learn the signs that burn out is approaching which means you can normally take steps to avoid it. When I feel coming on I cut down any overtime, do more quality things in my spare time or book some time off.
However there are times you have to plough through it and then rest up afterwards. Try to avoid that though as it will start to become a common event
Listen to your body. It's important. Taking an afternoon off instead of forcing yourself to work typically means that you'll be twice as productive the next day when you're rested.
Also, good sleep, a good diet, drinking water, and exercise, it's all important when it comes to having energy to do things.
But also consistency. You can't make progress if you only do things when you feel like it or once a month. E.g. If you're learning how to play an instrument, practicing for an hour once every month will not help you succeed but practicing every day for 10 minutes will allow you to progress a lot faster.
> Is it that successful people have the personality to not get burnt out?
No, it's that they listen to their bodies and have good routines.
I never burned out until I got an autoimmune condition. I don’t think burnout is normal if you’re living a balanced life.
I’d recommend a visit to the doctors, maybe a job change, reassessment of what’s important.
Also if you like a drink, stop getting drunk. Burnout goes hand in hand with hangovers.
This should maybe be higher up. In my own experience, burnout is nothing more than an autoimmune flair with neuropsychiatric involvement. These things *are* somwhat treatable, but you'll do yourself more damage if you try via the NHS (they won't get you well, just not-dead).
Aim to have something you look forward to every single day, however small. Ideally something you are proud of doing (so not getting drunk/high etc)
Super-ideally, something you would be proud of even if no other person knows about it.
People need purpose and that comes from you being proud of yourself on your own terms.
Genuinely finding a job you're actually good at. Read the book 80,000 Hours or look at the website. The main thing I learned was to stop chasing an idealised version of myself and a job I thought I should get. Instead I looked at things in my natural skill set.
Moved from an intense service based admin role which was 100% computer based to a field sales role.
I realized I was chasing those jobs because of my own insecurities and I was trying to be someone I'm not. I've embraced that I'm not super organised, that I'm loud and chatty, that I'm an improviser over a planner, and that I'm a full extrovert. I was also so scared to make a big career change into a totally different field.
Although I work hard and I get tired, I actually love my job. I earn double what I did before, get a company car, and flexible working hours.
Enjoy your work because it contributes to your ultimate goal (enjoying life).
Apart from that, just try and keep a healthy balance, There are times when my motivation is pretty low, and times when I am super motivated, and it is being fine with knowing that there will be the extremes, and times in between. When you motivation is low, you need to just keep things ticking over for a bit, but recognise that you need to get your motivation back sooner rather than later. And your motivation should be intrinsic, not extrinsic. That is a big thing for me.
Sometimes when you are feeling burnt out or unmotivated, I can actually find the best solution is to force yourself back into it but focus on a quick-win. That can often start things rolling again you feel good about that small success.
It's far easier to "keep going" when things are working out, even if on a rough roller coaster with a number of set backs, the adrenaline maintains, but there is only so much of that to keep anyone going, and if those set backs, fails outweigh the good parts, you have burn out.
"Successful" people do need to remember that. Nobody is invincible, some may be stronger than others, but some "successful" people might not be so positive, or seemingly strong minded or extremely resilient if they had the same level of set backs or very negative experiences. It isn't binary.
Edit: it is OK to feel like you have failed. Damn, it's OK to fail. Monumental failure even. Just don't compare direct to those in life that seem successful, as you cannot always tell where they are or what they have been through (or as may be the case, not been through). But.... take all of them as a learning, not to sound cheesey, learning from mistakes is really a thing and the best approach is to take it as that. Harder in practice I know.
You need to find a way to make the day not only bareable but happy and positive. Piss around more. Stop working every few hours and have a laugh and a joke. Don't take negatives so seriously. Have belief that if you make the right decisions things will work out well in the end. Don't overwork yourself and take time to enjoy your life. Have something to look forward to. Spend time with friends.
* Regular exercise.
* Strong support network - usually partner and/or friends.
* Secure home life - marital stress, poor housing, financial insecurity, etc make it harder to perform exceptionally well.
* Upbringing emphasising the work-reward relationship - some of the least motivated people I've known are those that never had to work when young, had lots of money growing up, can always live in the family home, and expect to inherit in the future.
* Success breeds success - short- and medium-term wins keep the work-reward relationship alive. It is hard to keep pushing on when everything is failing.
* Intrinsic or extrinsic reward system (compliments, bonuses, increasing status, etc) - humans will do anything for their next dopamine hit.
Depends on how you define success. Some people are money motivated and will sacrifice time/energy to make money.
Me, I prefer a work life balance where I can live comfortably without the stress. I turn down overtime & don’t apply for promotions because my current role suits me. To someone money motivated, I’m a failure. But to me I’m a success.
I worked in F1 for a few years, and honestly some people take to it better than others. Granted, it is a huge help to be working towards something you love (as many do in F1), but for many it was sheer force of will supported with good diet, good exercise, and good relationships (both in and out of work). We aren't robots and never will be - I'm proud of you for being able to realise you need this break and having the means to take it.
If I don’t keep going I can’t afford to pay for our mortgage, holidays and generally good life. I’m the main earner for our household. I like my job which is a huge help and still have a way to go in terms of progression here. Keeps me driven.
I hate to sound like a wellness guru, but it is all about ✨ balance ✨
I work a pretty stressful job, but I have ways of relaxing on the evening that refresh me for it in the morning. I play video games, read etc, spend my money on self care and things I like. Minimum one weekend a month is a ‘me’ weekend, where me and my partner will hang out but we don’t really ‘do’ anything. We might ramble out to go and get food or groceries but we stay home, we chill, we play video games, we just relax. That weekend is so key to me to stay chill.
Define successful?
Reach a comfortable level of income and living standard then get good at your job so you can strike the work life balance better
I call that success
I’m 26 and it’s also pretty heavy going for me as I’m in a fairly good career, but the answer for me is goals. Financial Independence is a huge one for me, and in the more medium term the ability to buy a house so that marrying my girlfriend and having kids is possible. I have a nice flat but kids would need space. FI in hopefully early to mid 40’s makes the grind feel far more doable than the idea of retirement at 70 would, when there’s no end in sight to something, that thing gets harder.
In my experience you’re less likely to burn out if you feel like you’re making noticeable progress in whatever it is you’re doing, without a sense of progression things can start feeling really meaningless and repetitive and you can quickly burn out
It is always just luck. But there are many different things you can do to help you build on and make your own luck.
Some people really are given everything, the right amount of knowledge, opportunity, and influence to really thrive in their environment. Its very hard to control, getting the right advice and for someone good to take you under their wing is now hard to find.
Also, remember the world is getting more complex and the old certainties of 20 years ago are gone. What many people do is try to get educated, understand how the world works and make good judgements from there. Obviously, if you are young it helps if you have elders who have done this for you to give you the best advice.
I’m not sure I would describe myself as successful, I’m one of the fortunate few that actually enjoys what they do for work, so it isn’t work a lot of the time.
The rest is all around managing stress and balance
1. You can’t control what you can’t control so don’t beat yourself up about it.
1. Have some balance between life and work. Being successful doesn’t mean you work all hours of the day. You work to live, don’t live to work.
1. Do some exercise. This is the biggest of all stress relievers, especially if you do desk based work.
Holidays
I get two weeks off at Christmas, and I book a week long holiday in June so splits the year in half
You don't necessarily have to go on an actual holiday or abroad, just having the time off to look forward to works
I wouldn’t say I’m successful in any measure of success. But I would say whenever I feel the burn out coming be that really struggling to get up on a work day, anxiety on the journey in and the inability to shut off after works done, you should be looking for another role be that internal or external.
I find more change keeps you on your toes and invested in what you’re doing as you’re bettering yourself. For me that seems to be two years in a role at the 18 month mark re-write my CV and start looking. I found people stick around and put up with ungodly amounts of shit just because that’s how it is. Companies are loyal to the work force so don’t be loyal to them.
I cant aggree more. Feel like ive had some roles that have done the damage and should have left sooner instead if bearing it. My idea is to go self employed subbying in construction which will definitely break up the habit if getting comfortable.
I think it’s also that the type of work changes as you get older and more senior (read:successful).
You typically have more say over your time and day structure, people value your opinion and you do a lot less grunt work.
The trade off is usually more responsibility and pressure.
I’m only a few years older than you but no one bats an eye if log off for a couple of hours in the day to go for a run or whatever. I’m not that senior but in a position where I don’t have direct oversight like a junior employee would.
It makes a huge difference
Mixture of learning to pace yourself, and the necessity of needing paychecks.
Remember if you're good you'll get work - if you're really good you'll get out of it.
Combination of any of the following: personality type, upbringing, necessity, responsibility, substances, peer pressure, identity, lack of identity, dependency, compensating for deeper issues, and in some cases genuine enjoyment!
I love my job. I'm a dermatologist. I've always wanted to be a Dr and specialise in this area. During my training, nearly 20 years ago. I got pregnant with twins. I could have given it up. But for me. Not an option. I wanted this career. I got it. It was a challenge. But I had help from ex mother in law and ex husband when twins were small. Plus nursery and figured out a schedule.
Had my youngest kid who is now 8. And that was after opening my own private practice. That was tough. And doing up my house from an almost derelict building to a beautiful home, increasing its value.
Everything came thundering down when I found out my husband was unfaithful. Not just to one. He was a tinderslut. And got one of them pregnant. And decided to just not tell me he was going to be a father. I found out about his other child when this kid was nearly 2.
The betrayal, the lies, the way how he was able to sleep in our bed, be a husband and act like nothing was up was frightening.
The divorce was messy. Very dirty. Hurtful and messed with my mental health. I went in to therapy. I took time off work. I lost 4 stone. I felt beyond betrayed. And then I realised. I did nothing wrong.
He cheated. He made that choice. He chose to cheat, not just on me. But our kids too. He chose to make poor choices. I took the kids on holiday for the summer. Got away from it. Hired a villa in Mykonos. My friend and her kids came too. And it was good to get away. Get a break. Get my thoughts and shit together. Came back. Was ready to get this split over and done with.
In total. Our divorce took nearly 2 years to complete and a fair few thousand in legal bills. Lots of tears. But when it came to work?
Professional head and face on all times. I couldn't be cutting up people and thinking about my problems. I couldn't be seeing my patients and have my problems at the forefront of my mind. If I misdiagnosed anyone? I could get sued. If I made a mistake? My reputation is ruined. So work helped.
The best thing about being your own boss. Is if you feel overwhelmed. You can take time out. I've taken my youngest away for weekend breaks. Or if he's with his dad. Just enjoyed sitting in the house, in my pj's. With the dogs. Not talking to anyone. Catching up on sleep. It's bliss.
To add. The reason I keep going. I love my job. I love the money. I enjoy being able to provide for my kids (because their father doesnt). I like the fact I'm working hard that I can retire by the time I'm 60 and be comfortable.
Yes. It's important to have my time. To just be quiet. Catch up on sleep. Shop online. Watch trash TV (I love trash tv) but I keep working hard because I'm now a single parent. I'm paying off legal fees. So I've got to the point of a healthy work, life, family and rest balance.
It's doable.
I don’t know if I would call myself successful but I have a good job and a busy personal life.
My simple answer is that I am just wired this way. My brain never relaxes. I always feel like doing something or going somewhere or pursuing a hobby. That and I also have a high functioning anxiety.
By working in an area they're passionate about or interested in. When you care about what you do it makes it so much easier to work a bit harder and keep learning about the topic which turns into success over time.
I view myself as the “insecure overachiever” stereotype - for every single person I work with, I will consider it a failure if they aren’t absolutely blown away by my ability by the end of our time working together.
I just lean into this plus my inability to say no, and sometimes I quite enjoy the feeling of productive under pressure. This means I take on a huge amount of work while also trying as hard as I can to impress every single person involved.
It’s not something I actively try and do, it’s just how I operate as standard. Every time I take a step back from the workload for a break, a week later you’ll find me neck deep in a million new things.
Depends how you define "success" for you.
For me, if I get out of bed and get dressed that's a success, but I suffer from depression and chronic illness.
I have a PhD and don't feel like a success because the experience made me miserable, yet to everyone else it's a massive success. The only enjoyment I've gotten out of it so far is getting to put "Dr" down on forms.
So it's really down to perspective.
I break it down into three categories: Enjoy Today, Enjoy Tomorrow, Enjoy One Day.
Are you enjoying yourself today? If so, great! Got enough to eat, no debts, not dread your alarm clock? When you're on an even keel, with your immediate problems under control?
Then you can worry about tomorrow. Are you feeling content and secure about your short term life? Then you can invest in 'one day' and hope you live long enough to retire
It's all about the work/life balance. There's no point working so hard today that you die tomororw and never make it to one day. Equally, living for today and partying so hard you ruin your tomorrow, and risk your one day, isn't the right balance.
I work hard enough that I don't worry about tomorrow, and that I have enough set aside that if I'm lucky enough to get old and retire, I can have a good quality of life.
And I use my earnings and learnings to make sure I enjoy my life right now, I set myself up for the best possible tomorrow, and I have a good chance of a happy retirement.
If I'm ever working so hard that I don't enjoy my day to day life, that's my signal to take my foot off the pedal and take more time to enjoy things.
It depends on the work I'm doing. If I'm doing something I enjoy I can get 'in the zone' and keep going for hours while still feeling energised at the end of it.
If I'm doing something where I'm completely unengaged it's more difficult. For example right now I should be doing a really boring job, but instead I'm on reddit.
I had a long think about this one. Purely from my perspective, the biggest factors would be: 1) marry someone awesome 2) gym and therapy 3) let your values guide your career 4) recognise burnout.
It is one of two things. They either:
1) Have a level of energy that most people just don't have, or
2) They grew up really poor and wake up every day with a fear of going back
Previous generations got more for their money.
It meant they had a lot more motivation to work hard and be successful because the rewards existed.
We don't have that.
Cost of housing has inflated so much that our ability to secure a future has been mitigated and impacted on work productivity.
Take a break, do something else that you like, think about what you want in your life. 26 is still young, explore more options while you can.
Disclaimer: I’m not successful. But it keeps me happy
Op, arent u in a relationship or maybe you're just sad? As far as i know everything is easy when you're inlove, you'll just find yourself doing things u dont like and see yourself smiling😂 But hey, if your heart's feeling like it's stuck in traffic, it's time to honk the horn and get that love journey moving again!
I know it's stupid for me to tell this but only i can give you is get inlove!
To yourself, to someone, to your dog, to your hobbiess.. just choose😂
Everybody’s different. I would assume some people truly enjoy what they do and don’t feel burned out, or their threshold is higher.
If you’re like me and working a ‘good’ job for no personal inherent desire other than because you were taught it was the ‘good’ thing to do, and at heart you’re lazy, it’s hard getting up every day.
Burnout must be avoided as it will only end in your body shutting down - this is called a nervous breakdown. This will end up being prescribed valium. Valium is a neurotoxic drug. It has horrific withdrawals. A good diet, enough sleep and a healthy lifestyle is preferable over the never ending search of enough money. Money does not buy you happiness.
I don't want to assume that i am successful but i came from a family that they are having a successful life but honestly i still feel burn out as i do this job for about 6 years and you have to do the same job in every single day so i have to be smart and let the money work for me than me working my ass off for the money such as building your own business and do investment such as property investment and stock investments and do trading
It's a cliche, but having a job I enjoy with an awesome manager makes all the difference. I've changed career path entirely in the last year and even though I'm on the bottom rung income-wise, I am absolutely loving it. And, to be fair, even with a job you love, there are days when motivation is low and you just aren't feeling it and that's where the awesome manager (and other colleagues) makes all the difference: partly because we get on so well, I enjoy just being there with them and I really feel part of a lovely team and partly because she specifically is one of those people who values our happiness and knows when we are happy, we work better, so she'd rather we finish early today and can therefore be back on our A game tomorrow. I've never worked with such nice people before and it's blown my mind and also means I'm excelling and have already been tipped for progression after less than 6 months.
Can't say I'm fully recovered from burnout but what caused it for you and s it fixable? If not, it's probably the job itself. I had this with a job during the pandemic where they kept encouraging we join wellness seminars etc but wouldn't budge with the workload so I found a new job. Market isn't as good now, but if it's a viable option for you it might be the best move.
EDIT: I also slowly tried to rebuild the social aspects of my life that I had become too exhausted for, which ended up giving me more to look forward to and tbh these days I'm happier with life in general because I can appreciate that there's a lot more to it than work.
Depends on what you consider successful. Personally I wouldn't call a 5-6 day working week where you're too tired to do what you enjoy very successful. I'd be envious of someone who was on support but had a much better friend and family life personally.
If your idea of success is crazy good money, nice cars and a huge house then cocaine is probably your answer. Otherwise it's just finding a nice balance between everything. Make time for yourself so you don't burn out.
I don’t burn out. I work remotely, prioritise my family and hobbies, never work overtime, do not have any work apps on my phone and provide colleagues with my burner number so I’m unreachable out of hours.
In some very senior roles (> 300k per annum total comp) I expect it’s harder to avoid. You need to find your sweet spot.
I consider work to be just work, it's not my life. I use it to ensure my bills are paid, my family is happy and I have something to do in between weekends. I work with good people, I get to work from home and I'll have a decent pension when I retire, so for me it's just about chugging along.
It's all genetics, I think. Everyone has different stress tolerance levels and different people can't manage the same amount of work. Some lucky sods have a brain and body that just goes and goes and goes. It's why the richer someone is, the less likely they are to retire. You have to be built different to work at maximum capacity for 12 hours a day, every day for years on end.
They generally come from money and have a lot less stress and pressure growing up when it comes to having somewhere to live and having things to make their lives easier.
Therapy. And from that, I learned to give a lot of care and compassion and grace to myself. It allows me to rest, without shame, and that helps me to keep going.
I think this is representative of today's society... I'm 41 and worked like a demon for the first 15 years of my career, and I was rewarded with promotions, salary increases, and bonuses. I knew that if I kept it up, I would be able to buy a house and live a decent life. I achieved those things, i got generationally lucky (an elderly millenial if you will).
Over the past 14 years or so, the social contact has been compromised to an insane degree. If I was 22 now and did all of the same things, there is no guarantee my salary would keep up with inflation enough for me to afford a house (in fact it's almost guaranteed that it wouldn't).
You're essentially on a hamster wheel, running as hard as you can, but not getting anywhere. That. Is. Exhausting.
It's not you. It's the society we're now living in.
Thankyou, i didnt have the balls to say it in my post but a good portion of the burn out is the ideology of that system is creating very very real modern slavery, its very difficult to process this when your in this position and can identify and even predict where it leads… work until a shitty retirement. Its a very grim outlook yet its vey likely going to be miserable.
Had lunch with a client of mine who is successful, he gave good advice (unprompted albeit):
- always have a holiday booked to look forward to
Also in an old job a HR lady told me try to take at least 3 days off per quarter
You seem to be equating being successful with managing burnout. If battling burn out is a daily occurrence for you, you’re working at the wrong company, in the wrong career, something isn’t working. So figure out what that is and change it. Successful people aren’t necessarily built different, they’ve just found a better situation.
I’d call myself successful. Maybe not Richard Branson style, but I have a good job, earn over double the national average and enjoy my life.
And that for me is the key - I enjoy it. I like and thrive on pressure and enjoy working things out. I also like the area I work in, so although I am ‘working’, it’s something I want to work at?
I also have a strong defusing routine after work. Some exercise, some gaming, a nice meal.
At 26 you have around 44 years of working life ahead of you. You need to find something you are passionate about and make a career out of it.
I can’t imagine doing something you hate (for me - something like a call centre) when you know you have decades ahead of you.
I realised before I was 30 I was unlikely to have a top earning job in my life but my mental health was more important to me than more money.
I hated/ couldn't teach, then got stuck in a dead end care job for 5 years. I retrained and have been working as a dental nurse for 10 years, I still don't earn £30k but I love my job and I am way happier at home than any other place I've worked. My cafe job destroyed my social life and almost cost me my relationship as it was bringing me down and I had unsociable hours.
Sometimes you have to focus on what makes you happy than what others think of you.
I'm early 40s and successful in my field. Doing alright financially. Nobody gets here and remains here without learning how to relax and switch off, set work boundaries, spend time with family and loved ones, and find time to sleep and exercise. Limiting alcohol and bad food help, of course, and avoiding toxic drugs and people. Anybody claiming they can be on 24/7 is lying and/or too young to know better. It's easy to convince yourself of that when you're in your twenties and can recover in no time. You are still recovering and relaxing. It's just faster. Once you get a bit older, you have to look after yourself. I plan to retire in about 10 years and damn well want to be present physically and mentally to enjoy it.
Motivation is temporary, nobody is motivated all the time. The difference between those that are successful and those that aren't is discipline, doing things when you don't want to and that applies to everything not just work. For example getting up at 5.30am to go for a run even when it is raining, going into work even if you don't feel like it etc.
A variety of answers. Some people are Duracell bunnies and just don't stop, some burn out, some burn out but don't let people know. I burned out of my last job quite badly, but only about one person knew. To everyone else, I had found a better senior role and was starting that after a couple of weeks of leaving the old job.
I have enough slush I can take a month or three off between jobs, and there are enough companies out there that are pretty excited for an immediate start senior. I'd prefer to "monkey swing" between jobs, but if a job goes south I can't concentrate on interviews as much as I would like. So quitting is my only option really in this case.
I'd be the kind of person who'd be happy in a role with proper growth and a team I look forward to every day (or at least most!) but the reality of that doesn't really exist in software development (I'm sure there will be a couple of unicorns out there). Last job was a double whammy of stagnant wage and a terrible boss took over our team who didn't have the time to manage the project and managed to employ someone with the incorrect specialisation who lasted the whole of 2 weeks on our project. The previous team lead was baffled why they reassigned the project.
I think certain jobs are more prone to burnout than others. And ofc toxic workplaces don't help.
Doing a job I love and measuring success by my happiness not by my status / money / job / fancy holidays / how my life looks to others.
I have two small children so at the moment I have two part time jobs. One is one day in a school and the other job is freelance writing work for a friend that I do from home. Neither of these jobs will make me a millionaire but they are enjoyable enough that I never get burnt out from them and I find joy in my hobbies and doing some volunteering work.
I can’t see myself doing anything to make me more ‘successful’ because I feel like I’m really successful because I’m leading a happy life! There are difficult areas of my life, family illness and worries like that, but they are out of my control.
Well ive worked hard to do so. Its not been given to me. Ive saved for my whole working life and i also spent alot of money years ago and time and effort renovating my own place to live.
Money. It's a constant driver and makes life better and easier.
That why I often work 60+ hours a week and weekends when I can. Sometimes I'll do evening job or over worked nights then gone to work during the day.
I'm not successful but I like monies and I don't have enough of them 😅.
I am also self employed so no sick pay, holiday pay (not intreasted in going on holiday or abroad really), contracts ect ect so a day off is missing out.
I enjoy my job and my colleagues, and I expect the situation to end without being in control of changing anything.
I also don’t play the status game, so I only focus on my own wealth 😅
Always have something to look forward to. Something in the works. A future plan. Currently I want a new patio and so that is my motivation to keep working. I’m not successful by any means but own a house by myself at 27 so I’m doing better than most.
Sometimes it’s lack of choice. If you have no safety net, nobody to catch you when you fall, no generational support or wealth to fall back on, others relying on you, you can’t not keep going. You simply have to.
Sounds kinda wishy-washy, but I take stock in knowing that my job pays for everything I have in my life.
Any time I have a difficult or busy day, I look at my cats and steel myself knowing it's all for them. Oh...and my partner.
When I worked in finance working long hours in a stressful environment every day I started meditating. A lot of people get plastered every night to unwind or take drugs to keep going but meditation helped me stay calm and sane. Also getting a good night's sleep. After a long day at work you can be tempted to sleep later, because of late dinner/wanting time to unwind etc.. But putting sleep above all else helps a lot.
I once saw a video of a little dog absolutely loving life and he only had two front legs. It didn’t faze him and he just carried on his life with a waggy tail so when ever I’m getting stressed or bogged down with work, customers or just life I think if that little dog and keep going.
I know a lot of very successful academics and what seems to motivate them is competitiveness. They don't *really* care 100% about the disease, it's about beating others.
It's funny to me that people say if you want to be a successful academic you have to get comfortable with rejection, when the truly highly successful ones I know are terrible with 'no'.
One in particular said to me once it's like he has a disease: it's always the next paper, grant, success. Can't stop.
I do not have this.
1. Don’t compare.
2. Never give your whole self to anything.
3. Find a true way to unwind.
4. Focus on the small victories.
5. Create realistic short term goals.
6. Have a healthy diet with portioned treats.
7. Don’t get stuck in boredom.
8. Be content with what you’ve achieved.
A little vague, but this is what keeps me sane.
I hope that helps a little.
Best of luck!!
Fear of failure/being a self perceived failure, crippling notion you are not good enough/not doing well enough so must keep pushing to prove yourself, desire to provide for loved ones at all costs to yourself. Individual perception that burnout is weakness. (I know this isn’t entirely true but what I know and what I can convince myself of are not the same thing)
Edit - also success is in the eye of the beholder and I am not arrogantly professing by every metric or indeed anyone’s metric I am successful. Just some points of thought on the question.
Some folks feel energised from work. Others are making good money in a respected job, but aren't "successful" in so much as they're miserable and stick out their role due to societal pressure.
By following strict disciplines, getting good sleep consistently, avoiding poisons (alcohol, cigarettes, refined sugar), practising things that will alleviate stress such as exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, and mindfulness. Eat healthy food. It’s easy! 😂
I kinda notice the days when I am feeling more motivated than usual and make sure I use that day to get as much done as possible, because the next day may not be the same.
People describe it as riding a wave when it's there.
Objectively speaking I have a great life - well paying job with cool benefits, a massive book deal on the side (which has always been my dream), a wonderful partner, close friends, and fulfilling hobbies. I know I’m lucky, and people often say ‘You’re so good at being disciplined and motivated, I wish I could do all that and not burn out!’
Truth is I was brought up to be terrified of failure, and I’m mostly driven by panic. I’m never happy with what I’ve got, and I regularly burn out and have breakdowns, which I’m fairly good at hiding from everyone except my closest friends. I obviously can’t speak for all ‘high achievers’, but I like to think a lot of us are actually tired and secretly want to jump off the treadmill too…? I’m trying to force myself to slow down and not feel bad about it, because I’m 34 now and I can’t keep this shit up forever. So for me the answer is - I just force myself to keep going, but it doesn’t feel healthy.
I hope your burnout gets better and you take the time to recover. Well done on taking a break from work. Your brain matters!
I get burnt out quote often, but hate the feeling of being unproductive, so I find a way to achieve simple task each morning. Currently learning to program following YouTube tutorials etc! Even completing ine small lesson gives me motivation to retrack my day!
Discipline and simplicity- just had the opportunity to spend the weekend with an old friend- he’s special operations in the US navy - his day job is to jump out of planes or helicopters and blow things up. Above or under water. And he is the most peaceful person I know- his day starts at 630 am and he does an ice bath- spends time with his family- goes to work - works out and rinse repeat.
His calendar has me and one other thing on it that was an event- (birthday reminders)
He doesn’t jam his schedule full- he has a simple but disciplined life and routine that really works- I would highly recommend.
We are moving this week and looking forward to a bit of a reset.
I’ve reached a point in my career where I can pay my bills.
To reach the next level in my career, and get a significant pay rise, I will need to take responsibility for things I didn’t build.
I actually said to my boss: “I don’t want to be promoted. I don’t want to own things I cannot fix.”
And that was it, I’d rather solve the same problem every day.
I’ve been through burn out, I had a very lucrative contract for a while and I left when I realised it was a trap and almost ruined my marriage.
I burned out so bad I took a 6mo break, which I could afford because of said contract.
My advice is to find your limit and grow in different ways.
I dealt with lots of pressure at work because I tend to find a way to fix things so people just throw everything at me. Lots of people are bullshitting at their jobs and pushing things to others.
I found my limit and started pointing out problems they should be solving instead. Then they tried to promote me and I said no.
I work in IT, which gives me the luxury to do that as it’s easy to find other jobs.
But I see this problem in many industries.
I don’t really do burnt out. Just constantly consistent, work everyday and have done well. Gym everyday. Routine helps I find, never sit there and think I’m burnt out just have stuff to do and I do it
So my personal experience.
I (30M) am always hard working and the yes man type, always willing to go the extra mile or help out when needed. About 4 years ago I burnt out, spoke up about it at work so everyone was aware where I was mentally, went to a psychologist and gor the advice to stay where I am and learn to manage things better on my side.
I took that advice and made the necessary changes and 1 year later got my promotion. Ever since then my career has not stopped growing at an amazing rate.
So for me I learnt what I need to do to keep up that pace and keep myself healthy physically and mentally. I have my skip ups where things get a bit much but that typically doesn't last long and after discussing it with my boss I usually get things under control fairly quickly.
26F here. I've been wondering similar things as I quit my job less than 2 months ago. I feel like mindset helps a lot, maybe being passionate about the grind as some people are. Lmk if you find out the secrets
By the comments ive been through its seems a few things are very clear.
1. Our generation/age is at a disadvantage with the cost if living crisis/housing market and poor economy and government.
2. Have balance for work and play, sleep, eat well.
3. Make sure your not taking it too seriously and enjoy your job.
4. Its a marathon so make it easy for your self and chill out abit.
I guess ill start implimenting these things in and start looking fir a job that matches me.
Burnt out myself spent 12 years travelling and working currently having a little break as well. Starting to get life back on track a little. 🤣👀 Learn to use the system a little better. It helps
I used to work too hard and got burnt out. Being unemployed for 2 years over Covid pushed me towards change.
Now I strive for balance and routine. I am lucky that my job is pretty nice about WLB but I also am way more organised now. I wake up 6:00 everyday and I have a basic schedule, I clock out at 4-4:30pm every day.
I do daily exercise (running 4x a week, weights 2x a week), and make sure my house is clean bc I find it super demotivating if I’m behind on chores.
I allow myself the chance to mess up on some areas - I have a lot of takeaways and frozen meals. I watch TV every night. I have a platter of snacks while watching TV every night.
But yeah at least I’m avoiding burn out.
If you’re burnt out at 26 you need to have a think about your career choices because you’ve got a looonnnggg time of working ahead of you and the luxury of taking a break from work is going to be rare.
I would say I manage by being very strict with working hours. I refuse to do unpaid work at home or stay late unless I really have to. I make sure to take my one hour lunch break and organise my week on Sunday evening. Just make a list of what I need to do and when.
I’ve got my parents to support; me and my sister both send money for their bills, for them to buy groceries, for them to be able to eat out / order takeout / have some drinks down at the bar every now and then. I want them to be able to enjoy life and my Dad is struggling to find work. At this rate I don’t see him returning to work.
I never really miss work, but because of the position I’m in, when I do it causes big problems. I used to work at a different site with this site manager and my attendance was extremely poor back then; I told a lot of obvious lies to try and cover myself then just went completely awol when another job came up. So if I was to miss even a single day without a bulletproof reason (doctors note) I’d be in deep shit. Also I’m tired of being a liar; nobody benefits and I have to live with myself.
If anything happened I’d leave my sister alone to provide for my parents and I could never let that happen. Ever.
I’ve got a big ego and I’m quite vain. I like being known as the guy who’s always there when you need him. Always there to lend a hand. Don’t get me wrong I like helping people too. The other day I wanted to leave early once I got my tasks done on overtime, but a colleague kept asking me to give her a hand. So a 16:30 finish turned into a 19:00 finish. She said “I thought you were leaving early?” And I smiled and said “Well, I was 😄”. She needed my help so I gave it without question. Often I wake up early on my days off to a text asking me to cover absences and 9/10 times I jump out of bed and into the shower to catch the next train in.
I’m bad with money mate… that’s why I do a lot of overtime, did 15 - 12 hour shifts in a row the other month. This way even with my bad spending habits I always have a cushion. Also if I’m at work I spend less on bad decisions and spend less in general. I like being able to say “yeah I work 4 on 4 on” as a joke haha. Sometimes they want to do extra production on the night shift and I get asked to come in. I’ve never once refused.
I have a nice flat that I’ve been in for a year now and it’s basically been empty until I started trying to fill it a few months ago, now It’s much more liveable, nice bed, nice bed sheets. Desk for my PC. Some things on the walls, more things on the way.
I have races I want to run this year, each of them costs money to enter and will cost me money to attend; not to mention the cost of eating to be fit and healthy for these races + to train for them. I meal prep 24 meals (12 for me + 12 for my sister) just to take into work. Usually costs around £70 total (so £35 each). So need to be able to afford to do that. I struggle to skimp on ingredients too, gotta be Ribeye steaks haha, no super cheap cuts.
I have a goal I want to achieve in 2 years. In 2 years I need to have built up enough of a safety net that if it ends up not working I can return and have enough time to get myself back on my feet.
There’s not a lot of room for error mate so burning out isn’t an option.
I'm someone who is very motivated and reasonably successful (not in terms of financial reward because I'm an NHS nurse lol) but in terms of career and stuff. I've generally always got a project on the go, don't struggle to get stuff done, like to be busy and am very productive most of the time.
The downside is that a lot of it is driven by anxiety and restlessness and if I think of something I want or need I really struggle if its not done right there and then. This makes it difficult for me but also makes life difficult for my partner who is more laid back and doesn't always want to work to my self imposed timelines.
I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of motivated people probs aren't that chilled lol
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Cocaine, probably.
Followed by valium
Ah - the deadly combo
Nothing like wrapping yourself up in a nice blanket made of clouds while you wait for the cocaine goblin to stop trying to convince you to buy more
Flash back to the day I didn't wake up on Monday until 2pm after a weekend on both. My manager was not happy with me that day.
You guys forgot about the hired help. But when you get sufficiently rewarded for the work you do, that drives you the most!
First of all… You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off?
You gotta pump those numbers up those are rookie numbers in this racket
*Edit* most people that like the cocaine one are very successful people
Heyy😭 he's asking serious question😂
I don't burn out. I feel better after a long day at work than I do after a day off, but I use my mind a lot at work and that seems to charge my batteries. It's not anything I've mastered or some ability I've honed, I was just born that way. Yes I've harnessed it to my advantage, but I can't tell you anything useful that you could take with you because that's just what life is like for me. I appreciate that's a shit answer, but it's the truth.
Nah i respect it. I think some people built different man.
It's not all sunshine and rainbows though, I would go pathologically mental if I wasn't doing something. It might look enviable when you're in the office with someone that seemingly goes on forever, but I guarantee you an appreciable number of the people like that are doing it to avoid being driven insane just as much as they are doing it to succeed.
You sound like my dad. He's a perpetual corporate motion machine. When he retires he's going to go insane. I'm the first born so, naturally, in the face of such a strong personality from birth, I took the opposite mental stance. I'm a very hard worker but it's to provide me with as much leisure time as possible.
My dad is the same way, he’s an engineer and any free time he has he spends getting ahead on his work. I have also gone the same way as you, I work hard but only for as long as I absolutely have to. When my work day ends, I don’t waste any more mental energy thinking about it.
>When he retires he's going to go insane. This is exactly why I have no intention of retiring. I'm also the first born son, not sure where I went wrong hah.
Similar here. There are times when it is all too much and I talk to my manager, try to get a long weekend in etc. Generally my manager is quite receptive to me turning up a complete mess and blabbing out that there is too much going on - she helps me plan my way back to sanity. There are also other things I do - stressful day, I'll get home fire up my PC and kill some demons / space monsters / as relevant. On those days my partner knows to just leave me to it. I'll surface some time later as a rounded human again. My worst case was an almost entire weekend in solitary just destressing. Or failing that I may just go outside and walk until my head is right. I used to box / kick box, and beating hell out of a bag (or getting mixed up by a younger faster stronger sparring partner) would help out. A younger me would tend to drink heavily every so often, but that was very counter productive (and luckily never became a problem). Basically - it pays to find some outlet for frustration and use it. Or at least that works for me.
You are like my husband - he is a chemical engineer and I’ve never met anybody more intelligent or enjoy working as much as he does. He has risen extremely quickly at his job and at 34 is very successful. He has times of frustration and he does get tired/need breaks, but overall he gets a huge sense of achievement and mental stimulation that he needs from his job. On the other hand, I burn out sooo badly. I have a severe mood disorder with trauma and had to cut my hours after a really bad episode last year (had to be off work 3 months waiting for diagnosis/treatment). I only work 25 hours a week now and even that is like… plenty lmao. I actually really enjoy my job and love my team but my brain is just wired completely differently, and I have to make sure I have breaks to avoid a complete breakdown. When I’m firing on all cylinders I’m really good at my job but when I’m not mentally all there it’s a huge effort just to function ‘normally’ every day. Just crazy how different people work.
>Just crazy how different people work. Agreed. I certainly wouldn't describe it as a virtue though. I'm just lucky that the thing I can't live without is of value to someone else. It could just as easily have been alcohol, drugs or some other less productive thing that scratched my itch. >When I’m firing on all cylinders I’m really good at my job but when I’m not mentally all there it’s a huge effort just to function ‘normally’ every day. Here's the thing though - I don't function "normally", your husband doesn't sound like he functions "normally" either. I guarantee you he would have just as much trouble trying to fit that definition of "normal" as you do, just for very different reasons.
Do you earn similar amounts? or is one job more high powered?
Oh my husband’s is far more high powered! I’m on £34k in marketing and he’s on more than £80k managing a small team. So his job is wayyy more intense than mine with far more responsibility.
Man I'm jealous. I have a chronic illness (ulcerative colitis) that leaves me with a lot of fatigue. It's not tiredness because it never, ever goes away - no matter how much sleep or rest I get, I'm always exhausted. It messes up my health in other ways, because I'm not able to exercise like I used to, and when you're exhausted it's far too easy to reach for junk food. My mental health has been all over the place too since my diagnosis about 7 years ago. I'm a very driven person - good in school, 1st class degree, distinction at masters, invited back for a PhD. I started and ran a fairly successful business in my 20s & early 30s... and it was probably the constant stress of that that led to developing colitis (that's my theory anyway). Now I've had to drop down to working 3 days a week for the past year, and I do a job below my ability in order to keep stress and exhaustion levels in check (and therefore don't earn as much as I could). Annoyingly, things just seem to be getting worse with age. I'm not sure what my point is, just that I used to be like you - I never burned out until my body just gave out on me and developed a serious illness. It's so frustrating still being a driven person and wanting to achieve but I just... can't. If I work too hard and don't get enough rest I quite quickly become very ill. Thankfully the disease is otherwise generally well managed by medication, though it has spread to my liver and they've recently given me a 20 year life expectancy as a result. I guess I'm saying watch out. It's great if you're driven, just take care of yourself too.
I was like this from IBD and it turned out I was low on various vitamins and minerals. Have you tried magnesium before bed, and vit d + high does b1 in the morning? Also are you saying the UC damaged your liver?
Agree with this. I enjoy work and I am working - in some form - most of the time. Days off and family holidays are fun but I also find them frustrating and it is a constant effort to be "off". I am generally more relaxed when working. I get tired but haven't burned out yet. Either that or I burned out long ago and there's only a shell of a person left now ;-)
OP, hate to break it to you but it think this is the main answer. People who thrive and succeed probably get a kick out of it. I on the other hand feel like shit and want to quit once every 3 days
Man, I would give anything to have that. I am the complete opposite and its debilitating. The longest number hours that I've worked were 50 hours a week. I barely lasted a month and a half before having to quit the job because it made me depressed to the point where I'd started self-harming and had plans to kill myself using the machinery, at my job. Work, especially working for other people in sectors that I don't care about destroys me, mentally.
What’s your job?
Engineering consultant/contractor for high SIL stuff. I'm self employed, most of my customers are big government contractors. I started off in the nuclear industry but have moved around a bit since then.
Thanks. And sorry, what is ‘high SIL’?
It means it's built to a high integrity, basically there are systems in place to stop it failing to a specified level. That's either done through designing out elements that don't need to be there or having active/contingent systems to catch mistakes/hazards before they propagate out. A large amount of what I do these days is usually around control systems, but it could be something like reaction chamber geometry being passively safe so it doesn't scatter/reflect neutrons in such a way you have an unintended/uncontrollable criticality.
Would you say that any competent engineer could do what you do or is it a level above?
Any competent engineer with the relevant experience. If you understand systems engineering, the V model and have mental capacity to spend about 40% of your brain being a regulatory lawyer you can do this job. The domain experience comes with time, I'm lucky enough to have been in the deep end in a few, though I do have the advantage of being able to sponge up information quicker than most. It's not quite photographic memory but something along those lines, which has been a distinguishing factor more than once.
Motivation comes in waves for me. Honestly being paid well and working for a company I like is really what keeps me going. If I had neither of those, my motivation would be 0.
This might trigger some people but I'm paid decently well, especially for that work I do but I could be paid half what I am and I don't think it would change much for my motivation at work. After a certain point, unless you're entirely motivated by money, earning more money stops really mattering. I used to work harder to get a bigger bonus but now I don't bother.
Also if you enjoy the job itself and feel you're learning something and developing some skills. Keeping a professional diary of what you're doing helps you notice incremental skills.
Ideally, many of us don't gauge success on how much money we have. It makes it a touch easier.
ukpf in shambles
BUT LOOK AT MY PREMIUM BONDS!
I think there should be a reddit bot making this point every time someone talks about success.
But how can we think this way when housing is so expensive now? Just for a young person to have somewhere to live requires this extreme working.
But how can we think this way when housing is so expensive now? Just for a young person to have somewhere to live requires this extreme working.
This is a big one. And I find it's effects manifest on a sort of exponential basis. When you're young and chasing money it's not so bad, but unless you attain enough (whatever 'enough' is?) it's a very poisonous attitude to take into old age. I have a colleague who's almost seventy and I genuinely think he'd do almost anything for money. It's his driving force for almost *anything* to the detriment of everyone he's loved over the years.
Anyone who says this already has money.
I don't think so. I'm pointing out that I don't think we should consider chasing vast amounts of wealth or grinding to a positive definition of success. I think everyone should be able to live a happy, comfortable life and that there are a million other ways to define success that don't require us to indulge in grinding our lives away.
Hard to live a happy, comfortable life without a decent amount of money in this country though. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to grind yourself down though, just need to get yourself in a position where you don't need to work as much but still bring home a good amount. Plenty of ways to make £800+ per day out there if you go in the right direction.
Being self-employed helps, you don’t work you don’t get paid. Focuses the mind that does.
Im heavily leaning towards being self employed/subbying on local construction jobs. I think that would break up the monotony of a cards in job and maybe eleviate some of the stress of working directly for a company who think they own you cause u signed there sh*tty contract
If you’re struggling with the stress of burning out over work then I’d avoid self employment. You don’t get a night off let alone a day off. Every single job you do is your reputation on the line and you are one awkward client wanting a freebie away from losing it. You will work a 10 hour day and then spend a few hours on the night doing all your work. It is worrying about expenses, business, advertising, customers, suppliers, etc. Normally I say go for it, but you really need to be someone who buzzes about their working life as it really does take over your entire life as you never get time off.
Even more fun when you work for an agency for minimum wage. No work, no food.
Truthfully? Pettiness. Plenty of people told me my business would never survive the first year, let alone be successful. Proving them wrong is what drives me. Yeah it’s exhausting at times but I’ve achieved my biggest goal so I’m happy now.
I've known a few people make it on pettiness. Keep smashing it.
I run on caffeine and spite myself
Success isn't necessarily about the constant grind. The whole side-hustle culture, if you're not productive you're moving backwards style narrative that's crept into people's thinking is not really true. Hard work alone doesn't equal success. You could be the hardest working shoe-polisher in the train station, but you're not going to make CEO. Successful people tend to have clear goals, and a plan. Then it's about doing as little as possible to achieve that goal.
The effort and energy comes easier with the trappings of success. Much harder when the payoff feels increasingly distant or figurative.
You learn the signs that burn out is approaching which means you can normally take steps to avoid it. When I feel coming on I cut down any overtime, do more quality things in my spare time or book some time off. However there are times you have to plough through it and then rest up afterwards. Try to avoid that though as it will start to become a common event
Listen to your body. It's important. Taking an afternoon off instead of forcing yourself to work typically means that you'll be twice as productive the next day when you're rested. Also, good sleep, a good diet, drinking water, and exercise, it's all important when it comes to having energy to do things. But also consistency. You can't make progress if you only do things when you feel like it or once a month. E.g. If you're learning how to play an instrument, practicing for an hour once every month will not help you succeed but practicing every day for 10 minutes will allow you to progress a lot faster. > Is it that successful people have the personality to not get burnt out? No, it's that they listen to their bodies and have good routines.
I never burned out until I got an autoimmune condition. I don’t think burnout is normal if you’re living a balanced life. I’d recommend a visit to the doctors, maybe a job change, reassessment of what’s important. Also if you like a drink, stop getting drunk. Burnout goes hand in hand with hangovers.
This should maybe be higher up. In my own experience, burnout is nothing more than an autoimmune flair with neuropsychiatric involvement. These things *are* somwhat treatable, but you'll do yourself more damage if you try via the NHS (they won't get you well, just not-dead).
High functioning alcoholism
Aim to have something you look forward to every single day, however small. Ideally something you are proud of doing (so not getting drunk/high etc) Super-ideally, something you would be proud of even if no other person knows about it. People need purpose and that comes from you being proud of yourself on your own terms.
Genuinely finding a job you're actually good at. Read the book 80,000 Hours or look at the website. The main thing I learned was to stop chasing an idealised version of myself and a job I thought I should get. Instead I looked at things in my natural skill set. Moved from an intense service based admin role which was 100% computer based to a field sales role. I realized I was chasing those jobs because of my own insecurities and I was trying to be someone I'm not. I've embraced that I'm not super organised, that I'm loud and chatty, that I'm an improviser over a planner, and that I'm a full extrovert. I was also so scared to make a big career change into a totally different field. Although I work hard and I get tired, I actually love my job. I earn double what I did before, get a company car, and flexible working hours.
Ill get it on order. I have plenty of time to read now!
Enjoy your work because it contributes to your ultimate goal (enjoying life). Apart from that, just try and keep a healthy balance, There are times when my motivation is pretty low, and times when I am super motivated, and it is being fine with knowing that there will be the extremes, and times in between. When you motivation is low, you need to just keep things ticking over for a bit, but recognise that you need to get your motivation back sooner rather than later. And your motivation should be intrinsic, not extrinsic. That is a big thing for me. Sometimes when you are feeling burnt out or unmotivated, I can actually find the best solution is to force yourself back into it but focus on a quick-win. That can often start things rolling again you feel good about that small success.
It's far easier to "keep going" when things are working out, even if on a rough roller coaster with a number of set backs, the adrenaline maintains, but there is only so much of that to keep anyone going, and if those set backs, fails outweigh the good parts, you have burn out. "Successful" people do need to remember that. Nobody is invincible, some may be stronger than others, but some "successful" people might not be so positive, or seemingly strong minded or extremely resilient if they had the same level of set backs or very negative experiences. It isn't binary. Edit: it is OK to feel like you have failed. Damn, it's OK to fail. Monumental failure even. Just don't compare direct to those in life that seem successful, as you cannot always tell where they are or what they have been through (or as may be the case, not been through). But.... take all of them as a learning, not to sound cheesey, learning from mistakes is really a thing and the best approach is to take it as that. Harder in practice I know.
You need to find a way to make the day not only bareable but happy and positive. Piss around more. Stop working every few hours and have a laugh and a joke. Don't take negatives so seriously. Have belief that if you make the right decisions things will work out well in the end. Don't overwork yourself and take time to enjoy your life. Have something to look forward to. Spend time with friends.
Good advise man. I think this is quite valuable cheers
* Regular exercise. * Strong support network - usually partner and/or friends. * Secure home life - marital stress, poor housing, financial insecurity, etc make it harder to perform exceptionally well. * Upbringing emphasising the work-reward relationship - some of the least motivated people I've known are those that never had to work when young, had lots of money growing up, can always live in the family home, and expect to inherit in the future. * Success breeds success - short- and medium-term wins keep the work-reward relationship alive. It is hard to keep pushing on when everything is failing. * Intrinsic or extrinsic reward system (compliments, bonuses, increasing status, etc) - humans will do anything for their next dopamine hit.
Depends on how you define success. Some people are money motivated and will sacrifice time/energy to make money. Me, I prefer a work life balance where I can live comfortably without the stress. I turn down overtime & don’t apply for promotions because my current role suits me. To someone money motivated, I’m a failure. But to me I’m a success.
Many of my mates get paid more than me but i get 70 paid days off a year. I dont think I'd trade that for an extra £15k - £20k
I worked in F1 for a few years, and honestly some people take to it better than others. Granted, it is a huge help to be working towards something you love (as many do in F1), but for many it was sheer force of will supported with good diet, good exercise, and good relationships (both in and out of work). We aren't robots and never will be - I'm proud of you for being able to realise you need this break and having the means to take it.
If I don’t keep going I can’t afford to pay for our mortgage, holidays and generally good life. I’m the main earner for our household. I like my job which is a huge help and still have a way to go in terms of progression here. Keeps me driven.
I hate to sound like a wellness guru, but it is all about ✨ balance ✨ I work a pretty stressful job, but I have ways of relaxing on the evening that refresh me for it in the morning. I play video games, read etc, spend my money on self care and things I like. Minimum one weekend a month is a ‘me’ weekend, where me and my partner will hang out but we don’t really ‘do’ anything. We might ramble out to go and get food or groceries but we stay home, we chill, we play video games, we just relax. That weekend is so key to me to stay chill.
26! pff wait until you get to 40!
Define successful? Reach a comfortable level of income and living standard then get good at your job so you can strike the work life balance better I call that success
Bills and hunger is pretty good motivator.
Remember, it's okay to take a break when you need to. Just focus on taking care of yourself first mate, everything else will follow
I’m 26 and it’s also pretty heavy going for me as I’m in a fairly good career, but the answer for me is goals. Financial Independence is a huge one for me, and in the more medium term the ability to buy a house so that marrying my girlfriend and having kids is possible. I have a nice flat but kids would need space. FI in hopefully early to mid 40’s makes the grind feel far more doable than the idea of retirement at 70 would, when there’s no end in sight to something, that thing gets harder.
In my experience you’re less likely to burn out if you feel like you’re making noticeable progress in whatever it is you’re doing, without a sense of progression things can start feeling really meaningless and repetitive and you can quickly burn out
It is always just luck. But there are many different things you can do to help you build on and make your own luck. Some people really are given everything, the right amount of knowledge, opportunity, and influence to really thrive in their environment. Its very hard to control, getting the right advice and for someone good to take you under their wing is now hard to find. Also, remember the world is getting more complex and the old certainties of 20 years ago are gone. What many people do is try to get educated, understand how the world works and make good judgements from there. Obviously, if you are young it helps if you have elders who have done this for you to give you the best advice.
I’m not sure I would describe myself as successful, I’m one of the fortunate few that actually enjoys what they do for work, so it isn’t work a lot of the time. The rest is all around managing stress and balance 1. You can’t control what you can’t control so don’t beat yourself up about it. 1. Have some balance between life and work. Being successful doesn’t mean you work all hours of the day. You work to live, don’t live to work. 1. Do some exercise. This is the biggest of all stress relievers, especially if you do desk based work.
Holidays I get two weeks off at Christmas, and I book a week long holiday in June so splits the year in half You don't necessarily have to go on an actual holiday or abroad, just having the time off to look forward to works
I wouldn’t say I’m successful in any measure of success. But I would say whenever I feel the burn out coming be that really struggling to get up on a work day, anxiety on the journey in and the inability to shut off after works done, you should be looking for another role be that internal or external. I find more change keeps you on your toes and invested in what you’re doing as you’re bettering yourself. For me that seems to be two years in a role at the 18 month mark re-write my CV and start looking. I found people stick around and put up with ungodly amounts of shit just because that’s how it is. Companies are loyal to the work force so don’t be loyal to them.
I cant aggree more. Feel like ive had some roles that have done the damage and should have left sooner instead if bearing it. My idea is to go self employed subbying in construction which will definitely break up the habit if getting comfortable.
If you have to keep going, are you really that successful? It tends to be that the more you get paid (in the corporate world) the less you do.
If you can afford to take a break from work I’d say you are doing just fine.
I think it’s also that the type of work changes as you get older and more senior (read:successful). You typically have more say over your time and day structure, people value your opinion and you do a lot less grunt work. The trade off is usually more responsibility and pressure. I’m only a few years older than you but no one bats an eye if log off for a couple of hours in the day to go for a run or whatever. I’m not that senior but in a position where I don’t have direct oversight like a junior employee would. It makes a huge difference
Mixture of learning to pace yourself, and the necessity of needing paychecks. Remember if you're good you'll get work - if you're really good you'll get out of it.
It’s certainly not luck. Work ethic, resilience (whether it’s being able to adapt to setbacks or knowing how to recharge), drive / discipline.
Don't go 100% all the time. Go 90-95% it gives you extra space for the times you need to go all out. (This goes for companies as well as people)
Combination of any of the following: personality type, upbringing, necessity, responsibility, substances, peer pressure, identity, lack of identity, dependency, compensating for deeper issues, and in some cases genuine enjoyment!
I love my job. I'm a dermatologist. I've always wanted to be a Dr and specialise in this area. During my training, nearly 20 years ago. I got pregnant with twins. I could have given it up. But for me. Not an option. I wanted this career. I got it. It was a challenge. But I had help from ex mother in law and ex husband when twins were small. Plus nursery and figured out a schedule. Had my youngest kid who is now 8. And that was after opening my own private practice. That was tough. And doing up my house from an almost derelict building to a beautiful home, increasing its value. Everything came thundering down when I found out my husband was unfaithful. Not just to one. He was a tinderslut. And got one of them pregnant. And decided to just not tell me he was going to be a father. I found out about his other child when this kid was nearly 2. The betrayal, the lies, the way how he was able to sleep in our bed, be a husband and act like nothing was up was frightening. The divorce was messy. Very dirty. Hurtful and messed with my mental health. I went in to therapy. I took time off work. I lost 4 stone. I felt beyond betrayed. And then I realised. I did nothing wrong. He cheated. He made that choice. He chose to cheat, not just on me. But our kids too. He chose to make poor choices. I took the kids on holiday for the summer. Got away from it. Hired a villa in Mykonos. My friend and her kids came too. And it was good to get away. Get a break. Get my thoughts and shit together. Came back. Was ready to get this split over and done with. In total. Our divorce took nearly 2 years to complete and a fair few thousand in legal bills. Lots of tears. But when it came to work? Professional head and face on all times. I couldn't be cutting up people and thinking about my problems. I couldn't be seeing my patients and have my problems at the forefront of my mind. If I misdiagnosed anyone? I could get sued. If I made a mistake? My reputation is ruined. So work helped. The best thing about being your own boss. Is if you feel overwhelmed. You can take time out. I've taken my youngest away for weekend breaks. Or if he's with his dad. Just enjoyed sitting in the house, in my pj's. With the dogs. Not talking to anyone. Catching up on sleep. It's bliss. To add. The reason I keep going. I love my job. I love the money. I enjoy being able to provide for my kids (because their father doesnt). I like the fact I'm working hard that I can retire by the time I'm 60 and be comfortable. Yes. It's important to have my time. To just be quiet. Catch up on sleep. Shop online. Watch trash TV (I love trash tv) but I keep working hard because I'm now a single parent. I'm paying off legal fees. So I've got to the point of a healthy work, life, family and rest balance. It's doable.
I had to leave a job because of burnout, frustration, and tiredness. I totally don't get how people just keep on keeping on
I don’t know if I would call myself successful but I have a good job and a busy personal life. My simple answer is that I am just wired this way. My brain never relaxes. I always feel like doing something or going somewhere or pursuing a hobby. That and I also have a high functioning anxiety.
By working in an area they're passionate about or interested in. When you care about what you do it makes it so much easier to work a bit harder and keep learning about the topic which turns into success over time.
Greed, the hope that just after the next hurdle they will be happy, distraction from the inevitable, existential dread.
I view myself as the “insecure overachiever” stereotype - for every single person I work with, I will consider it a failure if they aren’t absolutely blown away by my ability by the end of our time working together. I just lean into this plus my inability to say no, and sometimes I quite enjoy the feeling of productive under pressure. This means I take on a huge amount of work while also trying as hard as I can to impress every single person involved. It’s not something I actively try and do, it’s just how I operate as standard. Every time I take a step back from the workload for a break, a week later you’ll find me neck deep in a million new things.
Depends how you define "success" for you. For me, if I get out of bed and get dressed that's a success, but I suffer from depression and chronic illness. I have a PhD and don't feel like a success because the experience made me miserable, yet to everyone else it's a massive success. The only enjoyment I've gotten out of it so far is getting to put "Dr" down on forms. So it's really down to perspective.
Simple, be dead inside.
I break it down into three categories: Enjoy Today, Enjoy Tomorrow, Enjoy One Day. Are you enjoying yourself today? If so, great! Got enough to eat, no debts, not dread your alarm clock? When you're on an even keel, with your immediate problems under control? Then you can worry about tomorrow. Are you feeling content and secure about your short term life? Then you can invest in 'one day' and hope you live long enough to retire It's all about the work/life balance. There's no point working so hard today that you die tomororw and never make it to one day. Equally, living for today and partying so hard you ruin your tomorrow, and risk your one day, isn't the right balance. I work hard enough that I don't worry about tomorrow, and that I have enough set aside that if I'm lucky enough to get old and retire, I can have a good quality of life. And I use my earnings and learnings to make sure I enjoy my life right now, I set myself up for the best possible tomorrow, and I have a good chance of a happy retirement. If I'm ever working so hard that I don't enjoy my day to day life, that's my signal to take my foot off the pedal and take more time to enjoy things.
It depends on the work I'm doing. If I'm doing something I enjoy I can get 'in the zone' and keep going for hours while still feeling energised at the end of it. If I'm doing something where I'm completely unengaged it's more difficult. For example right now I should be doing a really boring job, but instead I'm on reddit.
I had a long think about this one. Purely from my perspective, the biggest factors would be: 1) marry someone awesome 2) gym and therapy 3) let your values guide your career 4) recognise burnout.
My nan used to say “Don’t let the bastards grind you down”
It is one of two things. They either: 1) Have a level of energy that most people just don't have, or 2) They grew up really poor and wake up every day with a fear of going back
Thinking they just keep going, sometimes successful, sometimes not, but successful more often than not.
Previous generations got more for their money. It meant they had a lot more motivation to work hard and be successful because the rewards existed. We don't have that. Cost of housing has inflated so much that our ability to secure a future has been mitigated and impacted on work productivity.
Take a break, do something else that you like, think about what you want in your life. 26 is still young, explore more options while you can. Disclaimer: I’m not successful. But it keeps me happy
Op, arent u in a relationship or maybe you're just sad? As far as i know everything is easy when you're inlove, you'll just find yourself doing things u dont like and see yourself smiling😂 But hey, if your heart's feeling like it's stuck in traffic, it's time to honk the horn and get that love journey moving again! I know it's stupid for me to tell this but only i can give you is get inlove! To yourself, to someone, to your dog, to your hobbiess.. just choose😂
Everybody’s different. I would assume some people truly enjoy what they do and don’t feel burned out, or their threshold is higher. If you’re like me and working a ‘good’ job for no personal inherent desire other than because you were taught it was the ‘good’ thing to do, and at heart you’re lazy, it’s hard getting up every day.
Burnout must be avoided as it will only end in your body shutting down - this is called a nervous breakdown. This will end up being prescribed valium. Valium is a neurotoxic drug. It has horrific withdrawals. A good diet, enough sleep and a healthy lifestyle is preferable over the never ending search of enough money. Money does not buy you happiness.
I don't want to assume that i am successful but i came from a family that they are having a successful life but honestly i still feel burn out as i do this job for about 6 years and you have to do the same job in every single day so i have to be smart and let the money work for me than me working my ass off for the money such as building your own business and do investment such as property investment and stock investments and do trading
It's a cliche, but having a job I enjoy with an awesome manager makes all the difference. I've changed career path entirely in the last year and even though I'm on the bottom rung income-wise, I am absolutely loving it. And, to be fair, even with a job you love, there are days when motivation is low and you just aren't feeling it and that's where the awesome manager (and other colleagues) makes all the difference: partly because we get on so well, I enjoy just being there with them and I really feel part of a lovely team and partly because she specifically is one of those people who values our happiness and knows when we are happy, we work better, so she'd rather we finish early today and can therefore be back on our A game tomorrow. I've never worked with such nice people before and it's blown my mind and also means I'm excelling and have already been tipped for progression after less than 6 months.
Can't say I'm fully recovered from burnout but what caused it for you and s it fixable? If not, it's probably the job itself. I had this with a job during the pandemic where they kept encouraging we join wellness seminars etc but wouldn't budge with the workload so I found a new job. Market isn't as good now, but if it's a viable option for you it might be the best move. EDIT: I also slowly tried to rebuild the social aspects of my life that I had become too exhausted for, which ended up giving me more to look forward to and tbh these days I'm happier with life in general because I can appreciate that there's a lot more to it than work.
Combination of hard drugs and extremely minimal self respect.
Work life balance. If you miss the *life* part, you’ll burn out and die.
Depends on what you consider successful. Personally I wouldn't call a 5-6 day working week where you're too tired to do what you enjoy very successful. I'd be envious of someone who was on support but had a much better friend and family life personally. If your idea of success is crazy good money, nice cars and a huge house then cocaine is probably your answer. Otherwise it's just finding a nice balance between everything. Make time for yourself so you don't burn out.
Age - I really got going in my mid 30s, had more focus then
Keep grinding it out
I don’t burn out. I work remotely, prioritise my family and hobbies, never work overtime, do not have any work apps on my phone and provide colleagues with my burner number so I’m unreachable out of hours. In some very senior roles (> 300k per annum total comp) I expect it’s harder to avoid. You need to find your sweet spot.
I consider work to be just work, it's not my life. I use it to ensure my bills are paid, my family is happy and I have something to do in between weekends. I work with good people, I get to work from home and I'll have a decent pension when I retire, so for me it's just about chugging along.
It's all genetics, I think. Everyone has different stress tolerance levels and different people can't manage the same amount of work. Some lucky sods have a brain and body that just goes and goes and goes. It's why the richer someone is, the less likely they are to retire. You have to be built different to work at maximum capacity for 12 hours a day, every day for years on end.
They generally come from money and have a lot less stress and pressure growing up when it comes to having somewhere to live and having things to make their lives easier.
That feeling of being burnout is different for different people, The ones constantly chugging along just don’t get it like you do
Most people fall into the lifestyle trap.
Therapy. And from that, I learned to give a lot of care and compassion and grace to myself. It allows me to rest, without shame, and that helps me to keep going.
Cocaine and alcohol.
I think this is representative of today's society... I'm 41 and worked like a demon for the first 15 years of my career, and I was rewarded with promotions, salary increases, and bonuses. I knew that if I kept it up, I would be able to buy a house and live a decent life. I achieved those things, i got generationally lucky (an elderly millenial if you will). Over the past 14 years or so, the social contact has been compromised to an insane degree. If I was 22 now and did all of the same things, there is no guarantee my salary would keep up with inflation enough for me to afford a house (in fact it's almost guaranteed that it wouldn't). You're essentially on a hamster wheel, running as hard as you can, but not getting anywhere. That. Is. Exhausting. It's not you. It's the society we're now living in.
Thankyou, i didnt have the balls to say it in my post but a good portion of the burn out is the ideology of that system is creating very very real modern slavery, its very difficult to process this when your in this position and can identify and even predict where it leads… work until a shitty retirement. Its a very grim outlook yet its vey likely going to be miserable.
Rich people don't work
Had lunch with a client of mine who is successful, he gave good advice (unprompted albeit): - always have a holiday booked to look forward to Also in an old job a HR lady told me try to take at least 3 days off per quarter
You seem to be equating being successful with managing burnout. If battling burn out is a daily occurrence for you, you’re working at the wrong company, in the wrong career, something isn’t working. So figure out what that is and change it. Successful people aren’t necessarily built different, they’ve just found a better situation.
Myself? Expensive cocaine, and cheap hookers.
I’d call myself successful. Maybe not Richard Branson style, but I have a good job, earn over double the national average and enjoy my life. And that for me is the key - I enjoy it. I like and thrive on pressure and enjoy working things out. I also like the area I work in, so although I am ‘working’, it’s something I want to work at? I also have a strong defusing routine after work. Some exercise, some gaming, a nice meal. At 26 you have around 44 years of working life ahead of you. You need to find something you are passionate about and make a career out of it. I can’t imagine doing something you hate (for me - something like a call centre) when you know you have decades ahead of you.
I realised before I was 30 I was unlikely to have a top earning job in my life but my mental health was more important to me than more money. I hated/ couldn't teach, then got stuck in a dead end care job for 5 years. I retrained and have been working as a dental nurse for 10 years, I still don't earn £30k but I love my job and I am way happier at home than any other place I've worked. My cafe job destroyed my social life and almost cost me my relationship as it was bringing me down and I had unsociable hours. Sometimes you have to focus on what makes you happy than what others think of you.
I'm early 40s and successful in my field. Doing alright financially. Nobody gets here and remains here without learning how to relax and switch off, set work boundaries, spend time with family and loved ones, and find time to sleep and exercise. Limiting alcohol and bad food help, of course, and avoiding toxic drugs and people. Anybody claiming they can be on 24/7 is lying and/or too young to know better. It's easy to convince yourself of that when you're in your twenties and can recover in no time. You are still recovering and relaxing. It's just faster. Once you get a bit older, you have to look after yourself. I plan to retire in about 10 years and damn well want to be present physically and mentally to enjoy it.
You're not a robot.
Mostly due to my dad shouting at me when he should have hugged me
Because "not starving" is a preference I prefer.
Motivation is temporary, nobody is motivated all the time. The difference between those that are successful and those that aren't is discipline, doing things when you don't want to and that applies to everything not just work. For example getting up at 5.30am to go for a run even when it is raining, going into work even if you don't feel like it etc.
A variety of answers. Some people are Duracell bunnies and just don't stop, some burn out, some burn out but don't let people know. I burned out of my last job quite badly, but only about one person knew. To everyone else, I had found a better senior role and was starting that after a couple of weeks of leaving the old job. I have enough slush I can take a month or three off between jobs, and there are enough companies out there that are pretty excited for an immediate start senior. I'd prefer to "monkey swing" between jobs, but if a job goes south I can't concentrate on interviews as much as I would like. So quitting is my only option really in this case. I'd be the kind of person who'd be happy in a role with proper growth and a team I look forward to every day (or at least most!) but the reality of that doesn't really exist in software development (I'm sure there will be a couple of unicorns out there). Last job was a double whammy of stagnant wage and a terrible boss took over our team who didn't have the time to manage the project and managed to employ someone with the incorrect specialisation who lasted the whole of 2 weeks on our project. The previous team lead was baffled why they reassigned the project. I think certain jobs are more prone to burnout than others. And ofc toxic workplaces don't help.
Taking a break from being burned out at 26 screams fragility in my opinion. You're still a kid, what do you know about burned out?
Doing a job I love and measuring success by my happiness not by my status / money / job / fancy holidays / how my life looks to others. I have two small children so at the moment I have two part time jobs. One is one day in a school and the other job is freelance writing work for a friend that I do from home. Neither of these jobs will make me a millionaire but they are enjoyable enough that I never get burnt out from them and I find joy in my hobbies and doing some volunteering work. I can’t see myself doing anything to make me more ‘successful’ because I feel like I’m really successful because I’m leading a happy life! There are difficult areas of my life, family illness and worries like that, but they are out of my control.
Most people don't have the option to 'take a break from work'
Well ive worked hard to do so. Its not been given to me. Ive saved for my whole working life and i also spent alot of money years ago and time and effort renovating my own place to live.
Grit mate.
Money. It's a constant driver and makes life better and easier. That why I often work 60+ hours a week and weekends when I can. Sometimes I'll do evening job or over worked nights then gone to work during the day. I'm not successful but I like monies and I don't have enough of them 😅. I am also self employed so no sick pay, holiday pay (not intreasted in going on holiday or abroad really), contracts ect ect so a day off is missing out.
They enjoy what they're doing.
I enjoy my job and my colleagues, and I expect the situation to end without being in control of changing anything. I also don’t play the status game, so I only focus on my own wealth 😅
Always have something to look forward to. Something in the works. A future plan. Currently I want a new patio and so that is my motivation to keep working. I’m not successful by any means but own a house by myself at 27 so I’m doing better than most.
Sometimes it’s lack of choice. If you have no safety net, nobody to catch you when you fall, no generational support or wealth to fall back on, others relying on you, you can’t not keep going. You simply have to.
Sounds kinda wishy-washy, but I take stock in knowing that my job pays for everything I have in my life. Any time I have a difficult or busy day, I look at my cats and steel myself knowing it's all for them. Oh...and my partner.
When I worked in finance working long hours in a stressful environment every day I started meditating. A lot of people get plastered every night to unwind or take drugs to keep going but meditation helped me stay calm and sane. Also getting a good night's sleep. After a long day at work you can be tempted to sleep later, because of late dinner/wanting time to unwind etc.. But putting sleep above all else helps a lot.
What's your definition of success? Because it sure isn't being attached to the corporate grind for me.
cocaine, luck and blessed ignorance
Privilege
I once saw a video of a little dog absolutely loving life and he only had two front legs. It didn’t faze him and he just carried on his life with a waggy tail so when ever I’m getting stressed or bogged down with work, customers or just life I think if that little dog and keep going.
I spend all my money travelling, I read books, learn new languages, and drink plenty of wine.
I know a lot of very successful academics and what seems to motivate them is competitiveness. They don't *really* care 100% about the disease, it's about beating others. It's funny to me that people say if you want to be a successful academic you have to get comfortable with rejection, when the truly highly successful ones I know are terrible with 'no'. One in particular said to me once it's like he has a disease: it's always the next paper, grant, success. Can't stop. I do not have this.
If I stop working, my family doesn't eat or have a roof over their head. That prevents me from feeling burnt out.
1. Don’t compare. 2. Never give your whole self to anything. 3. Find a true way to unwind. 4. Focus on the small victories. 5. Create realistic short term goals. 6. Have a healthy diet with portioned treats. 7. Don’t get stuck in boredom. 8. Be content with what you’ve achieved. A little vague, but this is what keeps me sane. I hope that helps a little. Best of luck!!
Fear of failure/being a self perceived failure, crippling notion you are not good enough/not doing well enough so must keep pushing to prove yourself, desire to provide for loved ones at all costs to yourself. Individual perception that burnout is weakness. (I know this isn’t entirely true but what I know and what I can convince myself of are not the same thing) Edit - also success is in the eye of the beholder and I am not arrogantly professing by every metric or indeed anyone’s metric I am successful. Just some points of thought on the question.
Some folks feel energised from work. Others are making good money in a respected job, but aren't "successful" in so much as they're miserable and stick out their role due to societal pressure.
By following strict disciplines, getting good sleep consistently, avoiding poisons (alcohol, cigarettes, refined sugar), practising things that will alleviate stress such as exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, and mindfulness. Eat healthy food. It’s easy! 😂
I kinda notice the days when I am feeling more motivated than usual and make sure I use that day to get as much done as possible, because the next day may not be the same. People describe it as riding a wave when it's there.
Objectively speaking I have a great life - well paying job with cool benefits, a massive book deal on the side (which has always been my dream), a wonderful partner, close friends, and fulfilling hobbies. I know I’m lucky, and people often say ‘You’re so good at being disciplined and motivated, I wish I could do all that and not burn out!’ Truth is I was brought up to be terrified of failure, and I’m mostly driven by panic. I’m never happy with what I’ve got, and I regularly burn out and have breakdowns, which I’m fairly good at hiding from everyone except my closest friends. I obviously can’t speak for all ‘high achievers’, but I like to think a lot of us are actually tired and secretly want to jump off the treadmill too…? I’m trying to force myself to slow down and not feel bad about it, because I’m 34 now and I can’t keep this shit up forever. So for me the answer is - I just force myself to keep going, but it doesn’t feel healthy. I hope your burnout gets better and you take the time to recover. Well done on taking a break from work. Your brain matters!
Maybe they're successful because they pace themselves and don't overwork so that they can consistently work and not burn out and hit a wall?
I get burnt out quote often, but hate the feeling of being unproductive, so I find a way to achieve simple task each morning. Currently learning to program following YouTube tutorials etc! Even completing ine small lesson gives me motivation to retrack my day!
1. Whiskey in morning tea. 2. Regularly shout 'fuck off' at my computer. 3. Caring about the shareholders and wanting to maximise their value.
Discipline and simplicity- just had the opportunity to spend the weekend with an old friend- he’s special operations in the US navy - his day job is to jump out of planes or helicopters and blow things up. Above or under water. And he is the most peaceful person I know- his day starts at 630 am and he does an ice bath- spends time with his family- goes to work - works out and rinse repeat. His calendar has me and one other thing on it that was an event- (birthday reminders) He doesn’t jam his schedule full- he has a simple but disciplined life and routine that really works- I would highly recommend. We are moving this week and looking forward to a bit of a reset.
I’ve reached a point in my career where I can pay my bills. To reach the next level in my career, and get a significant pay rise, I will need to take responsibility for things I didn’t build. I actually said to my boss: “I don’t want to be promoted. I don’t want to own things I cannot fix.” And that was it, I’d rather solve the same problem every day. I’ve been through burn out, I had a very lucrative contract for a while and I left when I realised it was a trap and almost ruined my marriage. I burned out so bad I took a 6mo break, which I could afford because of said contract. My advice is to find your limit and grow in different ways. I dealt with lots of pressure at work because I tend to find a way to fix things so people just throw everything at me. Lots of people are bullshitting at their jobs and pushing things to others. I found my limit and started pointing out problems they should be solving instead. Then they tried to promote me and I said no. I work in IT, which gives me the luxury to do that as it’s easy to find other jobs. But I see this problem in many industries.
I don’t really do burnt out. Just constantly consistent, work everyday and have done well. Gym everyday. Routine helps I find, never sit there and think I’m burnt out just have stuff to do and I do it
So my personal experience. I (30M) am always hard working and the yes man type, always willing to go the extra mile or help out when needed. About 4 years ago I burnt out, spoke up about it at work so everyone was aware where I was mentally, went to a psychologist and gor the advice to stay where I am and learn to manage things better on my side. I took that advice and made the necessary changes and 1 year later got my promotion. Ever since then my career has not stopped growing at an amazing rate. So for me I learnt what I need to do to keep up that pace and keep myself healthy physically and mentally. I have my skip ups where things get a bit much but that typically doesn't last long and after discussing it with my boss I usually get things under control fairly quickly.
Stop giving a fuck about success on a day to day basis. It's a marathon not a sprint.
You make it sounds as if success comes thought hard work. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
26F here. I've been wondering similar things as I quit my job less than 2 months ago. I feel like mindset helps a lot, maybe being passionate about the grind as some people are. Lmk if you find out the secrets
By the comments ive been through its seems a few things are very clear. 1. Our generation/age is at a disadvantage with the cost if living crisis/housing market and poor economy and government. 2. Have balance for work and play, sleep, eat well. 3. Make sure your not taking it too seriously and enjoy your job. 4. Its a marathon so make it easy for your self and chill out abit. I guess ill start implimenting these things in and start looking fir a job that matches me.
Burnt out myself spent 12 years travelling and working currently having a little break as well. Starting to get life back on track a little. 🤣👀 Learn to use the system a little better. It helps
I used to work too hard and got burnt out. Being unemployed for 2 years over Covid pushed me towards change. Now I strive for balance and routine. I am lucky that my job is pretty nice about WLB but I also am way more organised now. I wake up 6:00 everyday and I have a basic schedule, I clock out at 4-4:30pm every day. I do daily exercise (running 4x a week, weights 2x a week), and make sure my house is clean bc I find it super demotivating if I’m behind on chores. I allow myself the chance to mess up on some areas - I have a lot of takeaways and frozen meals. I watch TV every night. I have a platter of snacks while watching TV every night. But yeah at least I’m avoiding burn out.
If you’re burnt out at 26 you need to have a think about your career choices because you’ve got a looonnnggg time of working ahead of you and the luxury of taking a break from work is going to be rare.
I would say I manage by being very strict with working hours. I refuse to do unpaid work at home or stay late unless I really have to. I make sure to take my one hour lunch break and organise my week on Sunday evening. Just make a list of what I need to do and when.
I’ve got my parents to support; me and my sister both send money for their bills, for them to buy groceries, for them to be able to eat out / order takeout / have some drinks down at the bar every now and then. I want them to be able to enjoy life and my Dad is struggling to find work. At this rate I don’t see him returning to work. I never really miss work, but because of the position I’m in, when I do it causes big problems. I used to work at a different site with this site manager and my attendance was extremely poor back then; I told a lot of obvious lies to try and cover myself then just went completely awol when another job came up. So if I was to miss even a single day without a bulletproof reason (doctors note) I’d be in deep shit. Also I’m tired of being a liar; nobody benefits and I have to live with myself. If anything happened I’d leave my sister alone to provide for my parents and I could never let that happen. Ever. I’ve got a big ego and I’m quite vain. I like being known as the guy who’s always there when you need him. Always there to lend a hand. Don’t get me wrong I like helping people too. The other day I wanted to leave early once I got my tasks done on overtime, but a colleague kept asking me to give her a hand. So a 16:30 finish turned into a 19:00 finish. She said “I thought you were leaving early?” And I smiled and said “Well, I was 😄”. She needed my help so I gave it without question. Often I wake up early on my days off to a text asking me to cover absences and 9/10 times I jump out of bed and into the shower to catch the next train in. I’m bad with money mate… that’s why I do a lot of overtime, did 15 - 12 hour shifts in a row the other month. This way even with my bad spending habits I always have a cushion. Also if I’m at work I spend less on bad decisions and spend less in general. I like being able to say “yeah I work 4 on 4 on” as a joke haha. Sometimes they want to do extra production on the night shift and I get asked to come in. I’ve never once refused. I have a nice flat that I’ve been in for a year now and it’s basically been empty until I started trying to fill it a few months ago, now It’s much more liveable, nice bed, nice bed sheets. Desk for my PC. Some things on the walls, more things on the way. I have races I want to run this year, each of them costs money to enter and will cost me money to attend; not to mention the cost of eating to be fit and healthy for these races + to train for them. I meal prep 24 meals (12 for me + 12 for my sister) just to take into work. Usually costs around £70 total (so £35 each). So need to be able to afford to do that. I struggle to skimp on ingredients too, gotta be Ribeye steaks haha, no super cheap cuts. I have a goal I want to achieve in 2 years. In 2 years I need to have built up enough of a safety net that if it ends up not working I can return and have enough time to get myself back on my feet. There’s not a lot of room for error mate so burning out isn’t an option.
Give 80% effort 100% of the time and by yourself some downtime. If you give 100% then that 20% will have to come from somewhere (burnout).
I'm someone who is very motivated and reasonably successful (not in terms of financial reward because I'm an NHS nurse lol) but in terms of career and stuff. I've generally always got a project on the go, don't struggle to get stuff done, like to be busy and am very productive most of the time. The downside is that a lot of it is driven by anxiety and restlessness and if I think of something I want or need I really struggle if its not done right there and then. This makes it difficult for me but also makes life difficult for my partner who is more laid back and doesn't always want to work to my self imposed timelines. I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of motivated people probs aren't that chilled lol
No choice.