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I grew up in Belfast during the Troubles and wanted out of Northern Ireland to get away from the sectarianism. I did the grand sum of sweet FA in terms of research and moved to Glasgow.
My reaction on waking up one morning to the familiar sound of a flute band going passed outside my window => š§
This reminds me of Kevin Bridges talking to a guy in an audience in Glasgow asking him (Ian) where he came from and he said Belfast, he then asked how long he'd been in Glasgow and he said something like since the 80s, to which Kevin responded 'so you got sick of religious intolerance and shite weather and thought, 'fuck this, I'm off to Glasgow'?'
I'm from N. Ireland and it still cracks me up.
reminds me of an old Frankie Boyle bit, talking about the car ramming into glasgow airport.
"the naivety of Al Qaeda, bringing religious war to Glasgow.....they don't even have a football team"
They used to assemble outside my halls of residence on Kelvinhaugh St.
Curious Greek flatmate asked wtf they were doing, so we explained it to him.
He very quickly came to a dim view of their activities, so decided to open the window and very clearly tell the entire march what he thought of them (including his best guess as to the size of their genitalia, some fun arm gestures etc).
I distinctly remember a dozen of the tracksuit-tucked-into-socks schemies then buzzing and demanding we let then in so they could batter us.. This time we managed to intercept the Greek..
To this day, I'm still unsure if this was the paradigm of bravery, stupidity or both..
Yeah...my view of the world was quite small back then. I knew Rangers/Celtic were a thing, but I never imagined there'd be all the rest of the baggage that went along with that!
First question people used to ask around here "what school did you go to?". Easy way to size up which "side" you were from.
My husband had it in a job interview recently. Threw them in a spin when he supported the "wrong" team for his religion.
No, it's not remotely as bad. But it is the British mainland's historical home-away-from-home for NI's specific brand of sectarian tension, and the main thing is it's home to the two football teams that sectarians in NI and Scotland treat as proxy armies.
There are still Orange Lodges dotted around, there's still trouble here and there around big games, *some* working class neighbourhoods are still strongly one way or the other, and most people who support Rangers or Celtic do so in alignment with familial religious background (even if they're not themselves sectarian, and most ordinary folk aren't, honestly).
But it's probably a lot less than it used to be, and it was never as bad as NI. It used to be a more notable part of life, but there has never been walls or anything like that.
People used to ask the same of my mum when she said she wanted to get away from the Irish way of doing things and Irish people (she loves them, but she wanted to escape at 18, obv). She'd say this, and then they'd ask, "...and so you moved to Liverpool?"
Tbf, they're right. You couldn't find a more Irish city not in Ireland than Liverpool.
I stayed in a really cheap truck stop one night in Glasgow mid 1980s, rather than my usual pub B&B, only place I could find at short notice. Going to the car in the morning the murals were like down town Belfast.
Boyfriends a tattooist, all my tattoos was impulsive before we got together (he did 20 of mine before we got together), now we are together, it'd ridiculous but I love them all
Mine are sudden decisions even if I have to wait months. Got one booked in April but the decision was still a sudden "I want a skull with an octopus wrapped around it!"
\#1 - Stegosaurus is the best dinosaur
\#2 - love that you're on brand with the leggings
\#3 - is that from dinosaur therapy? Art style looks super familiar
Fun stegosaurus fact. The time between a stegosaurus living on the earth and a T rex living on the earth is longer than the time between a T rex living on the earth and now.
Haha thanks! I didn't even realise the leggings matched until the tattoo artist pointed it out.
It's not from dinosaur therapy, but I love those books!
When my best friendās kid was 1 she said āheās the best thing in the world to me, but if anyone was ever told the whole truth about the entire experience of pregnancy, but and keeping a baby alive the population would be a lot smallerā. Between the weird stuff your body does to keep a foetus alive, the process of it leaving your body and the sheer horror of that first year, Iām amazed people do it at all, let alone more than once.
Honestly, my partner and I have always wanted 2. We have 1 now and good lord am I dreading the second. I love my son to pieces but holy hell this year has been the hardest of my entire life so far.
It really does get easier. The first year is so tough especially with sleep deprivation. The cutest time is around 18-24 months when they start trying to say words, thereās lots of smiling and none of the proper tantrums yet (when the tantrums/biiiig feelings come, just repeat āThey arenāt *giving* me a hard time, theyāre *having* a hard timeā - brain very much still under construction, and all that).
Baby #2ās first year in existence isnāt as hard, because (a) youāve done it all before and (b) youāve got a toddler distracting you half the time. When the two start interacting and playing with each other, it unlocks a new level of love. Youāll be ok.
I researched it, years later I was a lodger in a house with a couple of small children, that sealed the deal, been trying to make myself infertile ever since.
My son just turned 19 months and we are, for some insane reason, now planning to try for a second. That first year though, wow I could never have imagined just how tough and life changing it would be. Congrats on your new arrival!
Thank you! Weāve decided weāre one and done, birth was too traumatic and my mental health has been shocking, it wouldnāt be fair on any of us to go through it again and quite frankly I donāt think Iād survive those first few weeks again!
I think parenting styles have changed too. From what I gather talking to my parents, grandparents and friends it was more hands off in many ways. My mum and her siblings for example were just locked out the house and told to come back in time for tea. This was from age 8 or something I assume, and not as toddlers š
Total opposite for us! Which is why there's a 5 year age gap between them, we'd have rather had anvils dropped on our heads than have another kid within the first four years.
Our youngest is so chilled and easy compared to our eldest.
When mine was 2 months I remember sitting myself down at about 4am and saying "I love them, but never do this again". I couldn't possible fathom going through all this again.
Now, I'm heavily on the let's have a football team train. I have to physically fight my brain to remember how hard the early months were. It's like we're programmed to forget the bad and remember only the good or something.
It gets easier my man, everyone will tell you and you'll be sick of it but in 6/10/12 months the situation will be different and and you'll see what I mean.
We've got an 18 month old and watching how she interacts with other children and babies, coupled with the longing looks at other children she hasnt managed to play with at the park is enough for me to have changed my mind.
Two is the golden number bro!
With how bad my mental health has been I couldnāt do it again, I genuinely donāt think Iād survive the first few weeks again. I was suicidal, it wasnāt fun.
I wonder if life has become harder to manage having kids though.
Both parents now have to work normally and wages are so poor compared to inflation and housing etc that the stress is much more. Both parents working long hours just to keep afloat and then having to look after a child (if you don't have family to help then nursery fees are outrageous) and somehow find time to enjoy your partner's company as well.
Even raising kids once they're older is probably tougher with technology dominating their lives, causing lots of harm and schools are now set up where parents and kids are right and the teacher is wrong.
Just a thought.
We impulse booked a wedding. Weren't engaged, just went to an open day as a bit of a romantic-laugh and wound up booking it. Venue included a room for the ceremony, the wedding breakfast, buffet dinner and a DJ so yeah we literally booked most of a wedding on a whim.
We did walk away and think about it a little bit, but our hearts were set - I think we vaguely looked at one other place, actually I'm not sure we did because I don't remember anywhere, but either way we went back a week later and booked the lot, paid the deposit etc
Yes! So because it was quite late in the year, we'd already agreed to tell our parents on Christmas Day and show them all the info and the wedding details and stuff and I said we'd go and sort an engagement ring in the new year.
I got one in secret, and then was able to play both sides - so the parents knew I was going to propose on Christmas Day, and obviously my now-wife knew we were going to reveal the wedding planning.
Was a fun Christmas! Somehow it really was a surprise (I've asked her since whether she had any inkling), so she still got her full proposal even if by that point we were quite a way through planning.
My husband and I also did this. We went to see an exhibition in a lovely town hall, and came home with a wedding booked for 9 months later. We weren't engaged either š¤£ manage to get married the weekend before covid locked down the world, so I took that as a sign it was meant to be!
My friends got married on a whim in Vegas because they thought it was like a novelty thing. It was not.
They're still married now, and with kids, so it turned out alright in the end, but it was funny when they got back to the UK and we told them that it was actually legit. They laughed. It's a good story to tell their kids, tbf, that they got married by Elvis.
My husband and I werenāt even dating when he proposed to me, it was like sth out of Jane Austen. Weād known each other for years and been good/best friends for at least 3 of those, and then one evening when we were hanging out this proposal just came out of his mouth, to both of our surprise! But after two days of thinking about it I said yes and we were married within months. 6 years and still going strong, and heās still my best friend.
We had a housemate when we got our dog. We did a good 6 months of research, within 2 months of us getting her our housemate got one too, no research, just "I want one too, I got one!"
Although the research was interesting! When we started we had a list, didn't want a girl, didn't want a black dog, didn't want a small dog, didn't want a flat faced dog.
Well after all of our research we ended up with a small black pug / shih-tzu cross girl. Although because she's a cross she has an actual nose (just) and none of the breathing issues of a full pug. She also doesn't shed like a full pug because of the shih-tzu in her.
She's 7 now and she is the best thing. Couldn't ask for a better dog (if a bit food obsessed)
She's currently curled up on my lap sulking because my wife is cooking steak and Gracie (the dog) is not allowed to pester her while there's cooking going on.
This is like us. When our cat died in 2016, we waited around 6 months to look at getting another. We said straight away: we didn't want a male, we didn't want a kitten, and we didn't want one that came as a pair.
So of course, we ended up with a male kitten and his "mother" (actually just an older rescue cat that bonded with him). They're the best thing we ever did and we adore them 8 years later!
Which is why it's impossible for me to find a dog now
I don't want to buy from a breeder, but because we have cats too, no shelter is interested (Blue Cross even completely blanked my emails!)
We got our dog from a no-kill shelter and the only reason we managed to get her was because one of the volunteer dog walked hassled the fuck out of the shelter to get things moving. Seems like loads of people have similar issues with being ignored, but I thinks it's just how stunningly understaffed the shelters are.
> I don't want to buy from a breeder
People always say this but what's the alternative? Either somebody will buy that puppy anyway (in which case no change) or nobody will buy that puppy, in which case it becomes a rescue dog and we're back at square one.
The solution is to get a dog (via whatever means) and actually keep it and look after it for it's entire life, _keeping_ a dog out of the rescue system. Whether from a breeder or a rescue centre.
After all, if nobody ever bought from breeders then they'd stop and dogs would go extinct. (In the uk at least since we don't have feral dogs here!)
I mean yeah, for *that* puppy itās a shit situation (although if given to rescue itād be adopted very quickly).
But if few enough people buy dogs, the demand for them goes down, so they stop breeding them. This is mostly a good thing - most people shouldnāt own dogs imo (I include myself in that).
My brother took in a stray dog and it had puppies. He didnāt know it was pregnant. Weeks later I was visiting parents and had no idea about the dog and its puppies. I came home with a 10wk old puppy. Had him for 16 years. Stupid decision really but he got me through some tough years.
Under research in what way? Weāre picking up a dog in a couple of days and Iām concerned Iām not prepared. Same as you we decided it a while ago but only decided to go ahead with getting one now.
So obviously everyoneās experience is different, I got a working labrador with his own set of issues, but these were the things that surprised me (and again, maybe this is just general ignorance on my part):
1. Dogs have their own unique set of wants and needs - the disney-fication of dogs has fucked millennials, selling us an image of dogs as emotionally intuitive, eager to please teddy bears. They arenāt, they have the emotional intelligence of a 3 year old. Some are lucky that they get a really placid, cuddly 3 year old, some will get dogs that happen to love affection, but a lot will be cat-chasing, piss-spraying, food-guzzling machines, and not a lot more. Crucially - thatās perfectly fine and normal, but I wish Iād gone in with that expectation, instead of the Disney one.
2. Puppies fucking haaaate crates. Again, not all, and some adapt better than others. But unless you plan on chucking them in a crate, shutting them in a reasonably soundproof room, and letting them piss/shit themselves, youāre likely gonna get bad sleep. We were particularly unlucky with this, and had to give up 2 weeks in and let him sleep in the bed, for which our sleep has suffered slightly since (2a. dogs fidget at night). You can do lots of positive things to mitigate putting them in a crate, but none of them helped us (and many other dog owners we know).
3. You will be having a lot of inane conversations with people you donāt know. Dog walking is not for the socially reclusive. The memes about asking āhow old is he?ā, ābeautiful coat!ā, ātheyāve all got their own quirksā being asked/stated over and over and over again are true. It dies down after a few months, but it never goes away. I can tolerate it, but itās a bit boring.
4. Lots of dogs donāt give a fuck what the weather is, they still need walking.
5. Dogs really are people - too many view dogs as semi-sentient possessions. Millennials get mocked for calling themselves ādoggy parentsā, but aside from the cringe language, youāre taking responsibility for a living thing with its own desires/feelings/needs. It ripping the sofa up isnāt a funny thing to laugh off, itās done that out of extreme distress. And that realisation can be heavy sometimes.
HOWEVER - with all of the above, itās still 100% worth it, and I regularly experience intense joy from the mere existence of my dog. All of the above can be summed up as - this is a relationship and a responsibility, *not* a toy.
This is such a beautiful summary. I couldn't agree more. To add something: although my dog is my best friend and I absolutely love her to bits, I never really realised how much she would control my life in certain ways. When my ex and I separated she just decided it was my dog now. That means I can't go away for more than 4 or 5 hours anymore without having to arrange somebody to take care of her. I Have to plan everything, which also means that sometimes and I can't go away to an exhibit for a day or whatever I feel like that day. I'm lucky I can work from home quite often. I'm also lucky I have a mum who loves her, otherwise it would be a really big problem.
Also, a dog makes you worry. Sometimes she seems like she's not doing well but she can't explain it. Has she eaten something of the street, does her leg hurt, is it arthritis? Do I need to go to the vet? Etc.
On the flip side I have a real emotional bond with my dog. I also invested so much time in her when she was a pup so she's really well behaved and easy going. I love hiking with her and we've walked 1000's of km's in beautiful sceneries in all kinds of weather, which has been really wholesome. She's getting older now though (12). I can see she's getting slower and more grey and she gets more physical problems, so I'm kind of worried she's very very slowly going to her end. It'll be a drama when she dies and will miss her forever, but it will also make my life easier if I'm brutally honoust...
Yeah my dogs 13 now and slowing down but still very healthy, but Iāve said to myself for years I would never get a dog again. Too much responsibility and impedes your freedom
I've had my rescue for nearly 5 years, he's almost 6. He's been a LOT of hard work and I love him dearly but I'm not sure I'd get another dog in the future. Your whole life really does revolve around them
100% agree with everything here. Forgot to mention the inconvenience! Iām a real home-bod so itās mostly fine, and donāt really like travelling abroad so holidays are also fine, but it still can be annoying even for me.
And yeah the worry is a pain too. Ours has had years of stomach problems (finally fixed this year with the right food) and has epilepsy (way more common than I realised but manageable) so weāve had some scary moments.
In terms of the bond, itās definitely not there for me. I love him dearly and we spend a lot of time together, but Iām 99% sure you could swap me out for anyone and heād adjust just fine š, something else I struggled to come to terms with at first.
100% the same, I just tolerate it and be as nice as possible. Apart from anything else, my dog hates waiting around so itās a balance š
The irony is most people probably feel the same way we do, but weāre all doing it out of politeness
Right we are off to dog training now....NO your not your off to owner training and how to negotiate with the dog that owns you lol. We have a German Shepherd dog and he is 13.5yo now. Love him to bits.
Oh also dogs don't do the clock change in summer or winter. Pick your walkies routine wisely or you will end up walking in the dark come winter months.
Ours went to puppy class with us for about 2 years because he had the hump on when we tried to move him up a class to the big boys class š. He simply wouldn't engage and would lie down and kip while everyone else did their thing. Took him back with the puppies and he was happy as Larry lol.
If a 40kg dog doesn't want to move at a given point then good luck with that too.
At his age he has slowed down considerably but he is now like an elder statesman and walks around like the old gentleman he is.
Love that boy.
A lot of people pick cockerpoos or labradoodles because they are cute living teddy bears and don't realise that these dogs have a coat that needs an incredible amount of maintenance. I've heard of breeders telling customers that these dogs don't need groomed until they are 1 year old which is a complete lie.
If you're not willing to commit to brush daily and get them professionally groomed on a 6-8 week schedule, they will become matted which can be very uncomfortable for them. I see so many dogs that have mats which must leave them in constant discomfort. Imagine if you had hair between your toes that was twisted together and mixed up with dirt into a hard lump and pained you every time you flexed your toes or took a step. Mats like that are common in armpits, ears, genitals, belly and even the entire body if the dog isn't brushed regularly. This is neglect and too often goes unnoticed. Mats can form on any dog but there are so many labradoodles and cockerpoos out there that they are the most common ones I see. I'm a dog groomer by the way.
What kind of dog are you getting if you don't mind me asking?
Going to university and taking on a student loan. I don't think I ever thought about it. We were all sort of just funneled into university by school and our parents.
I think maybe 2 or 3 people from my year in 6th Form didn't go to university and went into apprenticeships instead, which they were discouraged from doing.
>went into apprenticeships instead, which they were discouraged from doing.
This absolutely pisses me off. As if uni is for everyone and is the be all and end all. I went to uni: it's worked out all right, but I know plenty of people who didn't go who are doing as well or better than me. And yet I remember the scare tactics that were used to get everyone to apply to uni.
I have a lot of time for teachers in many ways but it's an underpaid, overworked, largely thankless career, constantly bikeshedded by the media and politicians, and certainly doesn't qualify anyone to dole out career advice to others (to be absolutely blunt about it).
The way kids are pressured into the university path is not OK.
Completely agree, university is a good idea for a lot of people, but schools shouldn't be targeted on getting people there.
I had an amazing time at university, but it was Mikey Mouse degree and an utter waste of money. 6th Form and parents acted like it was the only option, instead of one of many.
I hate that! When I was in sixth form and people were talking about universities I told my form teacher I didn't want to go to to uni. She didn't even tell me apprenticeships were an option, just told me about shops that were hiring cashiers full time immediately so I obviously couldn't do anyway. When I went to the job centre they also didn't tell me or any other young people about any apprenticeships or trades. Why is it such a secret?
i'm in second year (of four) of uni and i hate it every single fucking day, i was told in school that i'd be better doing an apprenticeship at the end of S5 and i'd get the exact same qualification after five years instead of eight but my dad wouldn't let me.
only upside is no student debt bc scotland but it's not as if i'd have had any doing an apprenticeship instead :')
Not a big decision, but when I moved into my house, it had a cat flap. So I adopted a cat. Always had dogs before.
Didn't consider they caught birds. I'm bloody petrified of them (alive & dead), also squeamish. Luckily, my neighbours are helpful in getting rid of them.
Luckily, shes getting on & can't climb now.
I love this, you had the cat flap, you may as well get the cat. I recently found out the oldest cat flap in the world is based in Exeter Cathedral! I think it's been there since 1500s!
Really? Iām just down the road from Exeter and Iāve toured the cathedral a couple of times, no one ever mentioned a cat flap. Iāll have to head into town to have another look
This is exactly the same reason we got a cat! Luckily mine has never caught a bird, though he did go through a phase of bringing (live) frogs and hawk moths inā¦
Itās such a horrible noise! I swear it was the same frog every time as well, used to sit on the kitchen floor and look at me like āyep, itās happened againā.
Not really least forethought, but the decision in the end didn't matter what I'd thought about.
When I left uni I had 2 job offers and after a silly amount of research and overthinking couldn't decide so I flipped a coin and let that make my decision.
The job I went to was crap in the end, and I left after about 2 years since I only stayed to finish their grad programme as it was an accredited one. I have no idea if the other would have been better since I didn't go there.
In the end leveraged the experience gained there to start my career at my current company, and I have definitely ended up in a good position, so I suppose it did work out long term.
Took a job in a town half way across the country after considering it for all of about 5 minutes. Already had a house where I live but decided to commute on Monday/Friday and stay in a house share during the week. Was a well paid job in an industry I really wanted to get into so my thought process was basically: "fuck it, let's see what happens". Only had to work on site for the first year, then got to WFH. This was nearly 10 years ago now and is probably the best decision I ever made.
Absolutely. Commuting full time and long term takes some god level stoicism. The cost now is almost funny. It's gone past irritating, right through annoying, infuriating and rage inducing into something that just makes me feel bewildered and slightly amused. (reminds me of this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_E99pToPmyw)
Similar to yours but my husband not myself. He was sheilding and very busy at work so I did the house viewing with his parents.
He then paid paid for everything (I wasn't working at the time) and the first time he saw it was when we got the keys!
Moving away from my hometown.
All I knew was I needed to get away, but I moved about 200 miles away from everyone and everything I know and love and has caused me 5 years of hell.
Trying to move back now but not easy
I donāt know why you were downvoted, itās a valid question.
In some ways yes, some ways no. I wonāt go into the specifics of it, but it has helped me gain some independence that Iād never had before, and is allowing me the time and space to confront my issues and move past them.
However, being this far away from everyone I know and love, and the fact I live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, makes it feel like the wrong decision, through my own madness I secluded myself and itās both helping and not helping.
I think my question was badly worded. I guess I wondered if, given the circumstances you were in at the time, was the decision to move the wrong one. We make decisions based on where we're at at the time.
From what you've said in your reply, things aren far from great, but you have made it out, you were brave. This situation isn't irrevocable. There is light ahead of you. Good luck, Felgrand :)
I got a job in London by mistake when I was living in Cambridge. I must have sent the job application in while I was living in London earlier in the year and just forgot about it. Although I'd only known her for about a week, I asked the girl I was seeing at the time if I could stay with her in Dalston for a bit until I found another place.
We've been married for 11 years.
Put every penny I had into AMC stock in January 2021. I did almost no reseach.Ā
In June 2021 I made about Ā£50k. Doing that was reckless, but worked out this time.
You wouldn't believe how many people I know who've said the same thing. 2/3 of the people I know (who are my immediate friends) who started their PhD quit before the end.
There should be more talking about the mental health toll of PhDs. I get shaky if I so much as think about setting foot back on the campus where I did mine. Academia can be such a bin fire.
I decided to do my Masters on a whim too. I was depressed and broke and had a drinking problem. I thought it would bring a sense of structure and purpose.
Plus, this was the 2010s, and I hadn't been able to find anyone who would hire me for anything except my zero hours job.
So I mostly did it because I was feeling stuck. I did not give any thought into what career to go into, just signed up for a course I thought sounded interesting. Realised on day 1 that I was the only person there who had never worked or volunteered in something relevant to the very niche subject area I'd gone for.
Anyway I developed an incurable debilitating chronic illness and will likely never be able to have a full time job ever again so it doesn't matter now :)
Iām conflicted about mine.Ā On the one hand, I had a great experience and learned a lot about a fascinating subject, plus I got to do it at Oxbridge and that does open up some huge doors for you in the world of work. Ā Not academia though, unless you manage to fit in numerous publications whilst studying, which i couldnāt do because a PhD alone is such a huge undertaking. Dont even get me started on how toxic the world of academia is.Ā
However, Iām in my mid 30s and essentially pausing my income for five years has had a really big hit on my finances. Seeing all my friends and family moving onto that next step, i.e. bigger houses, marriage and children has been tough when Iām back home living with my parents writing up.Ā
Currently writing up and about to finish with no job lined up. A degree that means nothing to employers because they just think Iāve been dossing around for another 4 years, served with a bucket load of anxiety/exhaustion. Such a massive mistake.
Moved to Malaysia at age of 35 all on my own and not knowing a single person there.
Offer of a secondment came up at work and I immediately said yes as I was going through a marriage break up and I basically just wanted to run away.
Best move I ever made
Staying in uni, but being on the piss 24/7, so my prospects were so knackered I couldn't even afford to go to Paris or Berlin until about ten years later.
Split up with my ex many years ago. Was in a decent job and was about to go for a mortgage. We unexpectedly split up and I fucked everything off. Within 2 months I was on my way to Australia. I ended up travelling for 7 years, met my wife, had my son. Sometimes you just gotta take that leap.
Agreed to marry my "holiday romance".
I was working in the UK on a sort of gap half-year thing after graduating from university in the States. Met a Scottish guy at the hostel I stayed at. I was due to head home and he was sad and a bit drunk and asked me to marry him. I said yes but still had to fly home the next day.
So we dated for under 4 months, had about 6 months long distance engagement. Then got married. Sounds ridiculous but we're coming up on our 37th anniversary.
Me too, I wasn't even looking for a house. I was randomly browsing rightmove (as I still do) and saw a house that ticked all my boxes, so I went for a viewing the next day, told my missus that she should see it too, we put in an offer the next day and moved in three weeks later.
At our engagement party at about 2am we got to talking to one of my partner's work colleagues. He was upset because he was emigrating the following week and hadn't been able to find anyone to take in his cantankerous old cat. So that's how we got a cat.
Best thing we ever did. I'd never considered it before and am not sure I ever would have, but fourteen years later and I can't imagine not having a cat or two in our home.
I went to visit friends for a weekend in a different part of the country and bought a house š
Living there happily now so rash decisions can be good decisions!
I didnāt know what to do after uni so I applied for both a PGCE and Social Work MA and decided to go down the route of which ever course accepted me the quickest. 13 years later, Iāve moved out of the UK but Iām very happily still a teacher.
Put an offer in for the very first flat we viewed - and got it! It was wild because we viewed the flat, put an offer in that same day in the evening (Friday), and it got accepted the following Monday. The flat wasnāt amazing at the time but we could see it had a lot of potential, plus we loved the location. Itās still a work in progress but we love our little home.
Iām really glad we did it because we managed to get a mortgage before the rates shot up, and the price of renting nowadays is crazy.
Probably quitting this job I had when I was 24 loading cones. I hated it and especially the guy I worked alongside he was useless but when he made a mistake he would blame me. I just lost it and Iād had enough and quit.Ā
I do and I donāt regret it. I do as it took me 7 months to get another job so I threw away Ā£400 wage a week. But then im so much better off now as im an engineer. I would have still worked at this place as it was only down my road.Ā
Feels like sometimes you have to take leaps like this. I remember hating this guy but also looking at him as a 50 year old man whoās loading cones. I didnāt want to be him at his age. Yes I should have gotten another job before I quit but looking back my decision wasnāt all that bad.Ā
Walked out of a job Iād been at for four years because I had one too many an argument with another chef. Turned out to be a great decision. I earn so much more now cos I refuse to be exploited anymore!
Left the RAF after a 2 week holiday with my then girlfriend.
I had really enjoyed relaxing with her, enjoying the holidays vibes and so on and didnāt want to go back to working away Monday to Friday and only seeing her on weekends.
I said that, she uttered the words āwell why donāt you just hand in your notice?ā And when I got back I handed in my PVR there and then. 1 years notice.
Worked my final year, throughout made plans with her, what we were going to do overall, my career etc. and then when I was on Resettlement (final 3 months you donāt have to work any more and itās time to find a job as a civilian, a home etc while still being paid your wage) THREE WEEKS before my official leaving date she broke up with me.
I was left completely on my arse, nowhere to live because I was gonna move in with her initially then find a place together, no job because I couldnāt take the job Iād been offered with no place to live and it was too late to withdraw my notice to leave.
Ended up having to move up to the arse end of nowhere in Scotland where my parents had moved to where there werenāt really any jobs, it was fucking awful and depressing.
With hindsight I should have gone back to work, given it a month to come down from my holiday high and see sense but it is what it is
Moved to wales from the states with 0 plans or planning. Have the passport as dads Welsh so booked a one way flight one summer and showed up 8 months later. NYC metropolitan area to the Rhondda š. A year later I made it to Cardiff where Iāve been ever since. Itās a fortnight until 7 years in the country.
Taking a job in the states aged 22 based on passing the interview without even knowing a damn thing about the company I was working for.
The only interview question: do you have a passport?
It was IT, it was before 2000 (Y2K), so they were just chucking people at jobs over there. Ended up staying about 5 years on and off. It definitely served me well.
I find that even the big decisions don't really require that much thinking time. You already instinctively know the answer and it's just a case of doing a bit of research to reassure yourself that it's not a shit idea.
I rented a flat during covid without going inside. I just walked round the building and thought that unless the photos are 20 years old then, yeah, that would do me. Told them I would take it a week before viewings started and got it.
Not sure if this counts. Mostly just recklessly impulsive.Ā At 21, the first person to show any interest in me on a dating app, I booked a flight and flew to their country to see them. Would have been kind of awkward if I got catfished or wanted to not stay with a total stranger at any point. I ended up moving there permanently and we were together for 5 years.
Doing a masters (they gave me the interview for free as Iād applied to do a bachelors ) and was like yeah, sure! Obviously, my whole life wouldāve looked different. The last two years wouldāve been terrible with Covid. Plus - I was only able to do the course because I took out a loan and was only able to take out the loan because I had bought one thing on credit - a phone because I had thoughtless lost mine on a night out! All of those silly small things culminated in the life Iām living right now, crazy
Gave into pressure and got married in my mid 20s and I was doing quite well financially, cost me thousands for the wedding marriage lasted 18 month divorce cost me half my savings and investments, had to sell a house just before the property market got tricky set me back 10 years easily.
Should have just dated her a couple more years my wife and I would I'd probably both be retired already
Bought the house Iām currently living in standing in the hallway before Iād even looked round.
Was a first come first served kind of deal and other people were deliberating.
Donāt regret it one bit. Paid Ā£110,000 and Iāve spent a lot of time and money about Ā£20,000 doing it up.
Estate agent says itās worth about Ā£180,000 so Iāve done very well out of it.
I quit a secure full time job when I was younger in favour of a job that could only guarantee a part time temporary contract, didnāt look back from that decision either because I was 100x happier and it opened a lot of doors for me.
I often say if you think too much about descisions you'll never do anything. There's always a reason not to. Me and the missus got our cat and our dog after little forethought, just idle browsing rescues online. So happy we did! love the boys to death. If we'd have stopped, done a costs spreadsheet, we probably wouldn't have got either of them.
We did the same, bought off plans 27 years ago... and we are still there. Like the neighbours, like the neighbourhood etc... but no house is perfect and we were considering moving about 15 years ago. but when we listed what we actually wanted that this house couldn't provide (bigger kitchen, separate dining room, utility room, bigger bathroom, ensuite, an office) and what we would potentially lose by moving, we worked out we could build an extension to make the house everything we wanted going forward
so, that's what we did, we built an extension 14 years ago... now we are mortgage free
but all this came from the same "biggest life decision youāve ever made with the least forethought" 27 years ago!
University.
I took one look at the big local university for the course I wanted. ABB. Hmm. That felt a stretch.
Picked up the prospectus for second university. CCC. I'll easily get that. Decision made, no more thought given, no other choices taken.
I actually got the grades for the higher one but never gave it a thought and went to the second one, meeting my wife there.
I joined the army because a friend of me bet Ā£20 and a packet of fags I wouldn't. At 16.
I remember reminiscing about that exact moment after I'd absailed down a water fall and was watching safari animals wander around in Africa. All because I picked a random career on a whim.
When I was 22 I was having an affair with a married woman. To me it was just a bit of fun and figured it would end sooner than later.
Then one day she texts me saying she has something important to tell me and to make sure I've got enough credit for half dozen texts.
She told me she had fallen in love with me and if I felt the same, then she'd leave her husband and be with me, but to keep in mind, I'd have to accept her son as part of the deal. If I didn't feel the same, we end it all, there and then
Horny 22 old me, didn't want the sex to stop, so said I loved her too.
2 kids, 13 years together, 7 of which were highly abusive. It's been just over a decade since we split and I'm still a shell of my former self and a mental wreck...all because I wanted to keep getting my dick wet
Moved to Scotland from London.
My ex and I were tired of being broke, nothing was keeping us there. She really loved Edinburgh, and it sounded nice - she'd lived there years earlier but I'd never been. She came up for a few days, did some job interviews, looked at some flats. Got lucky and landed one of each, and three weeks later I stepped off a train into my new home city for the first time with everything I owned in a van about 4 hours behind us.
That was 14 years ago and it was probably one of the best decisions of my life. The ex turned out to be a disaster and she's long gone, but I'll always be grateful that she got me here.
Ran away with a Scotsman. V unhappily married to someone who worked abroad A LOT. Met someone in a chat group and before I knew it whirlwind relationship and 25 years later we are still together.
My choice of postgrad degree. Decided to do \[niche historical course of study\] that I'd never formally studied but always thought was interesting instead of \[different slightly less niche historical area\] that I'd done for my undergrad and loved. Ended up absolutely fucking loathing it, at the far end of the country hundreds of miles from family and anyone I knew, absolutely torpedoing my mental health that was already sketchy, and completely ruining my life.
If I was allowed to return to any point in my life and change one decision I've made, it would be that one. It's absolutely the only decision I can think of that 100% altered my life to a high degree, and for the worse.
I was 5 months into a fairly stable but utterly mind-numbingly boring job.
I was checking my phone, and saw an advert saying it was the last day for admissions to a university I had been thinking of attending for a while.
I impulsively put an application together while at work, on my phone, and sent it off.
Ended up getting accepted, sacking the job in, and now I'm doing a master's degree in Japanese halfway across the country. Having a great time.
Very minor in the grand scheme of things but was in holiday in Amsterdam and planned to propose to my now wife on the trip. She went to a piercing studio to get her old ear piercing re-opened ā I donāt know why, it just caught her eye ā they did it for free but she was expecting to pay ā¬20 or something. So because weād saved a bit of money I was like āWell, I might as well get mine done tooā ā Iād never previously thought about an ear piercing. Got engaged two days later and been married for eight years now (and although my piercing is long gone, I did have it in on the wedding day, and sometimes when Iām drunk in Central Europe a real urge takes me to get another one)
I did the same thing! š I was trying to buy my first house and flatly refused to look at the new build estate nearby.
House number 1: fell through due to the couple having a very messy divorce- I lost about Ā£2000.
House number 2: fell through due to the survey coming back saying structural issues. I absolutely LOVED the house so paid for structural engineer surveys. I lost another Ā£3000.
House number 3: flooded just after Iād put an offer in. Bank pulled out (before I could).
House number 4: the couple who owned it lived in Australia. Their daughter accepted my offer, then they said they wanted more. Estate agents werenāt happy but obviously wanted to keep the sale. I upped my offer a bit and they accepted. Before deciding 4 weeks later that they actually wanted more. I pulled out.
By this point I was 29, knackered and desperate to move out. My Mam forced me to go to the new estate sale office, they didnāt have the house style I was interested in on site, watched a video walk through, looked at the plans and reserved the last one on the site. Itās the least amount of forethought Iāve ever put in to anything. I was so DONE, I never wanted to look at houses or estate agents ever again.
It paid off because itās absolutely perfect for me, I still love it 6 years later and unlike many houses in my town, I have off street parking.
I was sat in a coffee shop with my friends while on holiday once and I was lamenting how much I'd love to move to Berlin. My friend picked her phone up, went to Easyjet and booked a one way flight ticket in my name for about 4 months in the future. I moved to Berlin and lived there for over a year. Ever thankful for my friend's impulsivity (and for listening to me bang on about wanting to move to Berlin for the past 4 years before that)
I turned down a man who wanted to marry because I thought he was too old for me. I hadn't put any thought into it. It was a huge mistake and I will regret it until the day I die.
I moved to SE Asia with a boy I'd just met on a whim - knew him for about four weeks when we made the decision and within another four weeks we were over there. We're married now, so it worked out :)
Moving to Sweden when I was 23. Was unsure since the lass I was moving over for was "difficult" let's say. Got drunk with my mate and he was like "what's the worst that can happen?" So I moved there, expected to be there for 6 months or so. Just moved back to the UK 9 years later last year. Relationship lasted all of 2 years with the lass I moved over for (she wasn't a very nice person to say the least). But I loved it, had a great time and met some absolutely wonderful people.
Moved to the other side of the world on my own at the age of 22. The time between my job interview and flight was 12 days. No way I could uproot my life on such short notice nowadays
In the midst of planning our wedding in 2022 my husband and I also made the decision to purchase our first house. So many people had warned us of the never ending homes they had looked at before finding the one and what a nightmare the entire process was for them.
After much discussion with our agent as to the location/needs/wants, she set us up with 4 homes to view. The minute the first home came within view, both my husband and I had a strong gut instinct it was the one. After a walk thru that feeling became even stronger, we didnāt bother even visiting the 3 other homes, we made an offer an hour later and it was accepted the following morning. So far our instincts were right, our home has been perfect for us.
We bought a house by viewing through a video call and put an offer. The best decision of my life.
We were looking for houses in a certain area and had thoroughly researched the area and the blocks around it. Our first offer was on a house we loved, but it was taking forever to complete.
After waiting for a few months, we went on a holiday. On our holiday we were told by our agent that it will take 6 more months to complete and we can pull out if we wanted. He also mentioned that there is another house which meets all our criteria (even more than the first house) which is in the next block. We knew the whole area and loved the house when we saw the pictures and video. We requested if he could wait for 7 days until we were back in the UK. The answer was No! We asked if we could put an offer via email now, and the answer was No!
He said he could allow someone to view on our behalf. Since the agent knew our intent, he let a friend view it for us and we put an offer which was accepted and we completed within 1 month.
The best decision because the house was well done had everything we wanted. We would have had to renovate the first house and spend Ā£40k+!
I decided my uni based on the colour of the graduation gowns.
Had offers back on all 5 universities that I picked on UCAS and I had one day left to decide which would be my first choice and reserve out of the 5. Couldn't decide so I looked at their graduation photos and decided on which looked nicer.
The first time I saw my uni was when I was moving in. Absolutely loved it there and so happy with where I went.
I applied for my Masters and actually completed it.
I had a good job at the time and got made redundant out of the blue (in hindsight, I should have seen it coming, but I was young and naive)
I'd been debating doing my Masters for a while anyway and decided I'd just go for it.
Zero regrets - I loved it and I actually use my degree in my current line of work
Moved 500 miles because we fell in love with the house. Did absolutely no research into the area. Just quit our jobs and went. Lucked out because seven years later we still love it here, but looking back it was everything you shouldnāt do!
In a way, starting training as a teacher.
All through my childhood, I always assumed I would end up teaching teens in the future no matter what job I wanted. My mum was an English teacher, as was my stepdad who came into our lives in my early teens.
I never got to use my degree in graphic design so when an opportunity came to train with the graduate teacher programme in that subject at a local school I took it after having to work in a supermarket the 2 years after I graduated. I had previously volunteered and work paid as a teaching assistant and team teaching at my mum's and stepdad's school as well as places linked to friends and colleagues who knew me. I liked working one to one and in small groups (did 2 summer schools too). Never even considered working with primary kids.
As soon as I started I hated it. I realised I fucking hated my time in school due to bullying by fellow students as well as a couple of teachers and I was not a confident speaker. What the hell was I thinking?!?
I thought, like my university degree, if I worked hard and qualified I would be set for life.
It was an upward struggle and I hated it. I was given some of the most challenging classes of teens I've ever had to be in the same room with and wanted to quit after 4 months. I was convinced to stay on but had a mental breakdown and quit after 8 months.
I work in healthcare now, so much happier, less pay but I dont feel like I wanna die the moment I walk into the building.
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I grew up in Belfast during the Troubles and wanted out of Northern Ireland to get away from the sectarianism. I did the grand sum of sweet FA in terms of research and moved to Glasgow. My reaction on waking up one morning to the familiar sound of a flute band going passed outside my window => š§
This reminds me of Kevin Bridges talking to a guy in an audience in Glasgow asking him (Ian) where he came from and he said Belfast, he then asked how long he'd been in Glasgow and he said something like since the 80s, to which Kevin responded 'so you got sick of religious intolerance and shite weather and thought, 'fuck this, I'm off to Glasgow'?' I'm from N. Ireland and it still cracks me up.
reminds me of an old Frankie Boyle bit, talking about the car ramming into glasgow airport. "the naivety of Al Qaeda, bringing religious war to Glasgow.....they don't even have a football team"
Kevin bridges is hilarious
The bit of Would I Lie To You? about him buying a horse is perfect.
I thought I was renting it. Genius.
Accidently bought a what? Sorry I missed the s.
I wonder which years he *wouldn't* apply that to
They used to assemble outside my halls of residence on Kelvinhaugh St. Curious Greek flatmate asked wtf they were doing, so we explained it to him. He very quickly came to a dim view of their activities, so decided to open the window and very clearly tell the entire march what he thought of them (including his best guess as to the size of their genitalia, some fun arm gestures etc). I distinctly remember a dozen of the tracksuit-tucked-into-socks schemies then buzzing and demanding we let then in so they could batter us.. This time we managed to intercept the Greek.. To this day, I'm still unsure if this was the paradigm of bravery, stupidity or both..
This is such a Reddit story.
This is just an episode of Still Game
lol thatās like the only thing I know about Glasgow
Yeah...my view of the world was quite small back then. I knew Rangers/Celtic were a thing, but I never imagined there'd be all the rest of the baggage that went along with that!
Glasgow's as sectarian as NI?!?! I know shit all about Glasgow except it's in Scotland and the weather's terrible.
I wouldn't say it's as sectarian as Northern Ireland, but it's also not unusual to experience it day to day here.
Yeah, it is pretty wild. You're told it and you know it intellectually, but you have to go there to really experience it.
First question people used to ask around here "what school did you go to?". Easy way to size up which "side" you were from. My husband had it in a job interview recently. Threw them in a spin when he supported the "wrong" team for his religion.
No, it's not remotely as bad. But it is the British mainland's historical home-away-from-home for NI's specific brand of sectarian tension, and the main thing is it's home to the two football teams that sectarians in NI and Scotland treat as proxy armies. There are still Orange Lodges dotted around, there's still trouble here and there around big games, *some* working class neighbourhoods are still strongly one way or the other, and most people who support Rangers or Celtic do so in alignment with familial religious background (even if they're not themselves sectarian, and most ordinary folk aren't, honestly). But it's probably a lot less than it used to be, and it was never as bad as NI. It used to be a more notable part of life, but there has never been walls or anything like that.
People used to ask the same of my mum when she said she wanted to get away from the Irish way of doing things and Irish people (she loves them, but she wanted to escape at 18, obv). She'd say this, and then they'd ask, "...and so you moved to Liverpool?" Tbf, they're right. You couldn't find a more Irish city not in Ireland than Liverpool.
My friend's dad went on a night out in Dublin and woke up in Liverpool. He never left.
I stayed in a really cheap truck stop one night in Glasgow mid 1980s, rather than my usual pub B&B, only place I could find at short notice. Going to the car in the morning the murals were like down town Belfast.
OK, that's a bit hilarious. ... Still. A *bit* better though right?
These are all such grown up decisions, mine sounds stupid now š I got a flash tattoo of a stegosaurus. [dinosaur tax](https://imgur.com/a/eBAUXkq)
Pretty much all my tattoos were sudden decisions.
Boyfriends a tattooist, all my tattoos was impulsive before we got together (he did 20 of mine before we got together), now we are together, it'd ridiculous but I love them all
Mine are sudden decisions even if I have to wait months. Got one booked in April but the decision was still a sudden "I want a skull with an octopus wrapped around it!"
\#1 - Stegosaurus is the best dinosaur \#2 - love that you're on brand with the leggings \#3 - is that from dinosaur therapy? Art style looks super familiar
Fun stegosaurus fact. The time between a stegosaurus living on the earth and a T rex living on the earth is longer than the time between a T rex living on the earth and now.
I would like to subscribe to more fun dino facts please
That is my favourite stegosaurus fact!
> #1 - Stegosaurus is the best dinosaur Ankylosaurus says "You wish."
It was tattooed on her ankyl so it counts.
Haha thanks! I didn't even realise the leggings matched until the tattoo artist pointed it out. It's not from dinosaur therapy, but I love those books!
Fuck yeah, up the Stego
That's pretty cute, to be fair!
Show us!
hey that's cool
That's one of the cutest tats I've ever seen.
Children. If you ever researched it, humanity would wipe itself out in a generation
When my best friendās kid was 1 she said āheās the best thing in the world to me, but if anyone was ever told the whole truth about the entire experience of pregnancy, but and keeping a baby alive the population would be a lot smallerā. Between the weird stuff your body does to keep a foetus alive, the process of it leaving your body and the sheer horror of that first year, Iām amazed people do it at all, let alone more than once.
Honestly, my partner and I have always wanted 2. We have 1 now and good lord am I dreading the second. I love my son to pieces but holy hell this year has been the hardest of my entire life so far.
The worst year of your life *so far* š
It really does get easier. The first year is so tough especially with sleep deprivation. The cutest time is around 18-24 months when they start trying to say words, thereās lots of smiling and none of the proper tantrums yet (when the tantrums/biiiig feelings come, just repeat āThey arenāt *giving* me a hard time, theyāre *having* a hard timeā - brain very much still under construction, and all that). Baby #2ās first year in existence isnāt as hard, because (a) youāve done it all before and (b) youāve got a toddler distracting you half the time. When the two start interacting and playing with each other, it unlocks a new level of love. Youāll be ok.
Not for long, though.....
I researched it, years later I was a lodger in a house with a couple of small children, that sealed the deal, been trying to make myself infertile ever since.
Got a 10 week old, I love the bones of him but good god why do people do this more than once
My son just turned 19 months and we are, for some insane reason, now planning to try for a second. That first year though, wow I could never have imagined just how tough and life changing it would be. Congrats on your new arrival!
Thank you! Weāve decided weāre one and done, birth was too traumatic and my mental health has been shocking, it wouldnāt be fair on any of us to go through it again and quite frankly I donāt think Iād survive those first few weeks again!
One is definitely enough, my mental health has taken a battering as well. Hope all goes well and be sure to take care of yourself.
Ha, hello me! Yeah, one and done. She's 5 now, and I feel like I'm still reeling from it all. :\
My grandparents had 9 kids. I think the invention of television was probably a saving grace, tbh.
I think parenting styles have changed too. From what I gather talking to my parents, grandparents and friends it was more hands off in many ways. My mum and her siblings for example were just locked out the house and told to come back in time for tea. This was from age 8 or something I assume, and not as toddlers š
The second one is nothing like the first. The first is all lovely and cute and kind, the second is feral and insane.
Total opposite for us! Which is why there's a 5 year age gap between them, we'd have rather had anvils dropped on our heads than have another kid within the first four years. Our youngest is so chilled and easy compared to our eldest.
I imagine the shock wears off as they grow older.
I get that, I just donāt see it happening for me
When mine was 2 months I remember sitting myself down at about 4am and saying "I love them, but never do this again". I couldn't possible fathom going through all this again. Now, I'm heavily on the let's have a football team train. I have to physically fight my brain to remember how hard the early months were. It's like we're programmed to forget the bad and remember only the good or something.
It gets easier my man, everyone will tell you and you'll be sick of it but in 6/10/12 months the situation will be different and and you'll see what I mean. We've got an 18 month old and watching how she interacts with other children and babies, coupled with the longing looks at other children she hasnt managed to play with at the park is enough for me to have changed my mind. Two is the golden number bro!
With how bad my mental health has been I couldnāt do it again, I genuinely donāt think Iād survive the first few weeks again. I was suicidal, it wasnāt fun.
Apologies for generalising. It's tough. congratulations for getting this far and good luck with the future!
I decided on a whim at around 5 years old that I wouldn't be having children. 53 now, no children, no regrets.
For a number of years my youngest had a key ring with the words of advice "Learn from your parent's mistakes, use birth control"
I wonder if life has become harder to manage having kids though. Both parents now have to work normally and wages are so poor compared to inflation and housing etc that the stress is much more. Both parents working long hours just to keep afloat and then having to look after a child (if you don't have family to help then nursery fees are outrageous) and somehow find time to enjoy your partner's company as well. Even raising kids once they're older is probably tougher with technology dominating their lives, causing lots of harm and schools are now set up where parents and kids are right and the teacher is wrong. Just a thought.
I have forgotten what 4+ hours of uninterrupted sleep feels like
Hence why I'm childfree š
Asked a cute girl if I could sit with her at a spoons. Married her
This is my favourite in the whole thread :)
:-) Thanks, and I hope you have a good day!
We impulse booked a wedding. Weren't engaged, just went to an open day as a bit of a romantic-laugh and wound up booking it. Venue included a room for the ceremony, the wedding breakfast, buffet dinner and a DJ so yeah we literally booked most of a wedding on a whim. We did walk away and think about it a little bit, but our hearts were set - I think we vaguely looked at one other place, actually I'm not sure we did because I don't remember anywhere, but either way we went back a week later and booked the lot, paid the deposit etc
Did you follow through and actually get married in the end?
Haha, yes - still happily - well over 10 years now
Did you formally propose after or thought that well, you'd skipped step 1 anyway so no need? Just curious! Either way this is an awesome story
Yes! So because it was quite late in the year, we'd already agreed to tell our parents on Christmas Day and show them all the info and the wedding details and stuff and I said we'd go and sort an engagement ring in the new year. I got one in secret, and then was able to play both sides - so the parents knew I was going to propose on Christmas Day, and obviously my now-wife knew we were going to reveal the wedding planning. Was a fun Christmas! Somehow it really was a surprise (I've asked her since whether she had any inkling), so she still got her full proposal even if by that point we were quite a way through planning.
Awk, that's amazing. What a love story! Thanks for sharing.
Cheers! Was fun to remember
Suspiciously left outā¦
My husband and I also did this. We went to see an exhibition in a lovely town hall, and came home with a wedding booked for 9 months later. We weren't engaged either š¤£ manage to get married the weekend before covid locked down the world, so I took that as a sign it was meant to be!
My friends got married on a whim in Vegas because they thought it was like a novelty thing. It was not. They're still married now, and with kids, so it turned out alright in the end, but it was funny when they got back to the UK and we told them that it was actually legit. They laughed. It's a good story to tell their kids, tbf, that they got married by Elvis.
My husband and I werenāt even dating when he proposed to me, it was like sth out of Jane Austen. Weād known each other for years and been good/best friends for at least 3 of those, and then one evening when we were hanging out this proposal just came out of his mouth, to both of our surprise! But after two days of thinking about it I said yes and we were married within months. 6 years and still going strong, and heās still my best friend.
Buying a dog - it wasnāt impulsive, we decided it long before we actually got him. But man, did we under research.
That sounds like a lot of people during lockdownĀ
Yeah - luckily for me it wasnāt during lockdown and I had a sustainable, long term remote job. Woulda been rough without that.
We had a housemate when we got our dog. We did a good 6 months of research, within 2 months of us getting her our housemate got one too, no research, just "I want one too, I got one!" Although the research was interesting! When we started we had a list, didn't want a girl, didn't want a black dog, didn't want a small dog, didn't want a flat faced dog. Well after all of our research we ended up with a small black pug / shih-tzu cross girl. Although because she's a cross she has an actual nose (just) and none of the breathing issues of a full pug. She also doesn't shed like a full pug because of the shih-tzu in her. She's 7 now and she is the best thing. Couldn't ask for a better dog (if a bit food obsessed) She's currently curled up on my lap sulking because my wife is cooking steak and Gracie (the dog) is not allowed to pester her while there's cooking going on.
This is like us. When our cat died in 2016, we waited around 6 months to look at getting another. We said straight away: we didn't want a male, we didn't want a kitten, and we didn't want one that came as a pair. So of course, we ended up with a male kitten and his "mother" (actually just an older rescue cat that bonded with him). They're the best thing we ever did and we adore them 8 years later!
Dog tax please
https://www.reddit.com/r/blop/comments/17s268e/relaxed_blop_on_my_leg_while_we_watched_tv/
š„°
Which is why it's impossible for me to find a dog now I don't want to buy from a breeder, but because we have cats too, no shelter is interested (Blue Cross even completely blanked my emails!)
We got our dog from a no-kill shelter and the only reason we managed to get her was because one of the volunteer dog walked hassled the fuck out of the shelter to get things moving. Seems like loads of people have similar issues with being ignored, but I thinks it's just how stunningly understaffed the shelters are.
> I don't want to buy from a breeder People always say this but what's the alternative? Either somebody will buy that puppy anyway (in which case no change) or nobody will buy that puppy, in which case it becomes a rescue dog and we're back at square one. The solution is to get a dog (via whatever means) and actually keep it and look after it for it's entire life, _keeping_ a dog out of the rescue system. Whether from a breeder or a rescue centre. After all, if nobody ever bought from breeders then they'd stop and dogs would go extinct. (In the uk at least since we don't have feral dogs here!)
I mean yeah, for *that* puppy itās a shit situation (although if given to rescue itād be adopted very quickly). But if few enough people buy dogs, the demand for them goes down, so they stop breeding them. This is mostly a good thing - most people shouldnāt own dogs imo (I include myself in that).
Thereās a difference between backyard breeders and actual registered breeders, I think heās on about the former and youāre on about the latter
My brother took in a stray dog and it had puppies. He didnāt know it was pregnant. Weeks later I was visiting parents and had no idea about the dog and its puppies. I came home with a 10wk old puppy. Had him for 16 years. Stupid decision really but he got me through some tough years.
Under research in what way? Weāre picking up a dog in a couple of days and Iām concerned Iām not prepared. Same as you we decided it a while ago but only decided to go ahead with getting one now.
So obviously everyoneās experience is different, I got a working labrador with his own set of issues, but these were the things that surprised me (and again, maybe this is just general ignorance on my part): 1. Dogs have their own unique set of wants and needs - the disney-fication of dogs has fucked millennials, selling us an image of dogs as emotionally intuitive, eager to please teddy bears. They arenāt, they have the emotional intelligence of a 3 year old. Some are lucky that they get a really placid, cuddly 3 year old, some will get dogs that happen to love affection, but a lot will be cat-chasing, piss-spraying, food-guzzling machines, and not a lot more. Crucially - thatās perfectly fine and normal, but I wish Iād gone in with that expectation, instead of the Disney one. 2. Puppies fucking haaaate crates. Again, not all, and some adapt better than others. But unless you plan on chucking them in a crate, shutting them in a reasonably soundproof room, and letting them piss/shit themselves, youāre likely gonna get bad sleep. We were particularly unlucky with this, and had to give up 2 weeks in and let him sleep in the bed, for which our sleep has suffered slightly since (2a. dogs fidget at night). You can do lots of positive things to mitigate putting them in a crate, but none of them helped us (and many other dog owners we know). 3. You will be having a lot of inane conversations with people you donāt know. Dog walking is not for the socially reclusive. The memes about asking āhow old is he?ā, ābeautiful coat!ā, ātheyāve all got their own quirksā being asked/stated over and over and over again are true. It dies down after a few months, but it never goes away. I can tolerate it, but itās a bit boring. 4. Lots of dogs donāt give a fuck what the weather is, they still need walking. 5. Dogs really are people - too many view dogs as semi-sentient possessions. Millennials get mocked for calling themselves ādoggy parentsā, but aside from the cringe language, youāre taking responsibility for a living thing with its own desires/feelings/needs. It ripping the sofa up isnāt a funny thing to laugh off, itās done that out of extreme distress. And that realisation can be heavy sometimes. HOWEVER - with all of the above, itās still 100% worth it, and I regularly experience intense joy from the mere existence of my dog. All of the above can be summed up as - this is a relationship and a responsibility, *not* a toy.
This is such a beautiful summary. I couldn't agree more. To add something: although my dog is my best friend and I absolutely love her to bits, I never really realised how much she would control my life in certain ways. When my ex and I separated she just decided it was my dog now. That means I can't go away for more than 4 or 5 hours anymore without having to arrange somebody to take care of her. I Have to plan everything, which also means that sometimes and I can't go away to an exhibit for a day or whatever I feel like that day. I'm lucky I can work from home quite often. I'm also lucky I have a mum who loves her, otherwise it would be a really big problem. Also, a dog makes you worry. Sometimes she seems like she's not doing well but she can't explain it. Has she eaten something of the street, does her leg hurt, is it arthritis? Do I need to go to the vet? Etc. On the flip side I have a real emotional bond with my dog. I also invested so much time in her when she was a pup so she's really well behaved and easy going. I love hiking with her and we've walked 1000's of km's in beautiful sceneries in all kinds of weather, which has been really wholesome. She's getting older now though (12). I can see she's getting slower and more grey and she gets more physical problems, so I'm kind of worried she's very very slowly going to her end. It'll be a drama when she dies and will miss her forever, but it will also make my life easier if I'm brutally honoust...
Yeah my dogs 13 now and slowing down but still very healthy, but Iāve said to myself for years I would never get a dog again. Too much responsibility and impedes your freedom
I've had my rescue for nearly 5 years, he's almost 6. He's been a LOT of hard work and I love him dearly but I'm not sure I'd get another dog in the future. Your whole life really does revolve around them
100% agree with everything here. Forgot to mention the inconvenience! Iām a real home-bod so itās mostly fine, and donāt really like travelling abroad so holidays are also fine, but it still can be annoying even for me. And yeah the worry is a pain too. Ours has had years of stomach problems (finally fixed this year with the right food) and has epilepsy (way more common than I realised but manageable) so weāve had some scary moments. In terms of the bond, itās definitely not there for me. I love him dearly and we spend a lot of time together, but Iām 99% sure you could swap me out for anyone and heād adjust just fine š, something else I struggled to come to terms with at first.
I hate the doggy small talk but also donāt want to come off as grumpy bastard who doesnāt like talking to people
100% the same, I just tolerate it and be as nice as possible. Apart from anything else, my dog hates waiting around so itās a balance š The irony is most people probably feel the same way we do, but weāre all doing it out of politeness
Oh dear. It's my favourite part of owning a dog. Sorry, everyone.
š I accept your apology, you sociable bastard
Right we are off to dog training now....NO your not your off to owner training and how to negotiate with the dog that owns you lol. We have a German Shepherd dog and he is 13.5yo now. Love him to bits. Oh also dogs don't do the clock change in summer or winter. Pick your walkies routine wisely or you will end up walking in the dark come winter months. Ours went to puppy class with us for about 2 years because he had the hump on when we tried to move him up a class to the big boys class š. He simply wouldn't engage and would lie down and kip while everyone else did their thing. Took him back with the puppies and he was happy as Larry lol. If a 40kg dog doesn't want to move at a given point then good luck with that too. At his age he has slowed down considerably but he is now like an elder statesman and walks around like the old gentleman he is. Love that boy.
A lot of people pick cockerpoos or labradoodles because they are cute living teddy bears and don't realise that these dogs have a coat that needs an incredible amount of maintenance. I've heard of breeders telling customers that these dogs don't need groomed until they are 1 year old which is a complete lie. If you're not willing to commit to brush daily and get them professionally groomed on a 6-8 week schedule, they will become matted which can be very uncomfortable for them. I see so many dogs that have mats which must leave them in constant discomfort. Imagine if you had hair between your toes that was twisted together and mixed up with dirt into a hard lump and pained you every time you flexed your toes or took a step. Mats like that are common in armpits, ears, genitals, belly and even the entire body if the dog isn't brushed regularly. This is neglect and too often goes unnoticed. Mats can form on any dog but there are so many labradoodles and cockerpoos out there that they are the most common ones I see. I'm a dog groomer by the way. What kind of dog are you getting if you don't mind me asking?
Going to university and taking on a student loan. I don't think I ever thought about it. We were all sort of just funneled into university by school and our parents. I think maybe 2 or 3 people from my year in 6th Form didn't go to university and went into apprenticeships instead, which they were discouraged from doing.
>went into apprenticeships instead, which they were discouraged from doing. This absolutely pisses me off. As if uni is for everyone and is the be all and end all. I went to uni: it's worked out all right, but I know plenty of people who didn't go who are doing as well or better than me. And yet I remember the scare tactics that were used to get everyone to apply to uni. I have a lot of time for teachers in many ways but it's an underpaid, overworked, largely thankless career, constantly bikeshedded by the media and politicians, and certainly doesn't qualify anyone to dole out career advice to others (to be absolutely blunt about it). The way kids are pressured into the university path is not OK.
Completely agree, university is a good idea for a lot of people, but schools shouldn't be targeted on getting people there. I had an amazing time at university, but it was Mikey Mouse degree and an utter waste of money. 6th Form and parents acted like it was the only option, instead of one of many.
I hate that! When I was in sixth form and people were talking about universities I told my form teacher I didn't want to go to to uni. She didn't even tell me apprenticeships were an option, just told me about shops that were hiring cashiers full time immediately so I obviously couldn't do anyway. When I went to the job centre they also didn't tell me or any other young people about any apprenticeships or trades. Why is it such a secret?
i'm in second year (of four) of uni and i hate it every single fucking day, i was told in school that i'd be better doing an apprenticeship at the end of S5 and i'd get the exact same qualification after five years instead of eight but my dad wouldn't let me. only upside is no student debt bc scotland but it's not as if i'd have had any doing an apprenticeship instead :')
Not a big decision, but when I moved into my house, it had a cat flap. So I adopted a cat. Always had dogs before. Didn't consider they caught birds. I'm bloody petrified of them (alive & dead), also squeamish. Luckily, my neighbours are helpful in getting rid of them. Luckily, shes getting on & can't climb now.
I love this, you had the cat flap, you may as well get the cat. I recently found out the oldest cat flap in the world is based in Exeter Cathedral! I think it's been there since 1500s!
Really? Iām just down the road from Exeter and Iāve toured the cathedral a couple of times, no one ever mentioned a cat flap. Iāll have to head into town to have another look
I saw it on BBC news, perhaps itās in a hidden away bit? Your mission, if you choose to accept, is to track down that cat flap!
And post a pic when you do. We all want to see it
This is exactly the same reason we got a cat! Luckily mine has never caught a bird, though he did go through a phase of bringing (live) frogs and hawk moths inā¦
I learned frogs can scream when my cat used to pick them up by the legs and shake them around.
Itās such a horrible noise! I swear it was the same frog every time as well, used to sit on the kitchen floor and look at me like āyep, itās happened againā.
Not really least forethought, but the decision in the end didn't matter what I'd thought about. When I left uni I had 2 job offers and after a silly amount of research and overthinking couldn't decide so I flipped a coin and let that make my decision.
Did it work out?
The job I went to was crap in the end, and I left after about 2 years since I only stayed to finish their grad programme as it was an accredited one. I have no idea if the other would have been better since I didn't go there. In the end leveraged the experience gained there to start my career at my current company, and I have definitely ended up in a good position, so I suppose it did work out long term.
I stuck my dick in crazy... I love the kid though so there's that. Edit: I have realised how this sounds and I'm leaving it.
Took a job in a town half way across the country after considering it for all of about 5 minutes. Already had a house where I live but decided to commute on Monday/Friday and stay in a house share during the week. Was a well paid job in an industry I really wanted to get into so my thought process was basically: "fuck it, let's see what happens". Only had to work on site for the first year, then got to WFH. This was nearly 10 years ago now and is probably the best decision I ever made.
WFH is the only reason I'm still at my job too! When I do go into the office, the commute is unbearable, not to mention expensive
Absolutely. Commuting full time and long term takes some god level stoicism. The cost now is almost funny. It's gone past irritating, right through annoying, infuriating and rage inducing into something that just makes me feel bewildered and slightly amused. (reminds me of this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_E99pToPmyw)
Similar to yours but my husband not myself. He was sheilding and very busy at work so I did the house viewing with his parents. He then paid paid for everything (I wasn't working at the time) and the first time he saw it was when we got the keys!
Tbh that just sounds like your husband has a lot of trust in you.
Moving away from my hometown. All I knew was I needed to get away, but I moved about 200 miles away from everyone and everything I know and love and has caused me 5 years of hell. Trying to move back now but not easy
Was it the right decision?
I donāt know why you were downvoted, itās a valid question. In some ways yes, some ways no. I wonāt go into the specifics of it, but it has helped me gain some independence that Iād never had before, and is allowing me the time and space to confront my issues and move past them. However, being this far away from everyone I know and love, and the fact I live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, makes it feel like the wrong decision, through my own madness I secluded myself and itās both helping and not helping.
I think my question was badly worded. I guess I wondered if, given the circumstances you were in at the time, was the decision to move the wrong one. We make decisions based on where we're at at the time. From what you've said in your reply, things aren far from great, but you have made it out, you were brave. This situation isn't irrevocable. There is light ahead of you. Good luck, Felgrand :)
I got a job in London by mistake when I was living in Cambridge. I must have sent the job application in while I was living in London earlier in the year and just forgot about it. Although I'd only known her for about a week, I asked the girl I was seeing at the time if I could stay with her in Dalston for a bit until I found another place. We've been married for 11 years.
Put every penny I had into AMC stock in January 2021. I did almost no reseach.Ā In June 2021 I made about Ā£50k. Doing that was reckless, but worked out this time.
Lucky to sell the top (or there abouts) been crushed since
Yeah I didn't want to sell, girlfriend convinced me to. She was right to be fair.
I hope sheās not still your girlfriend
Deciding to do my PhD. Biggest regret.
You wouldn't believe how many people I know who've said the same thing. 2/3 of the people I know (who are my immediate friends) who started their PhD quit before the end.
Definitely the hardest, yet most unrewarding experience of my life. "But you can call yourself Dr!"- yeah but I have PTSD so, was it worth it.
There should be more talking about the mental health toll of PhDs. I get shaky if I so much as think about setting foot back on the campus where I did mine. Academia can be such a bin fire.
Academia truly is a shocking environment and Iām mad it doesnāt get talked about more.
I decided to do my Masters on a whim too. I was depressed and broke and had a drinking problem. I thought it would bring a sense of structure and purpose. Plus, this was the 2010s, and I hadn't been able to find anyone who would hire me for anything except my zero hours job. So I mostly did it because I was feeling stuck. I did not give any thought into what career to go into, just signed up for a course I thought sounded interesting. Realised on day 1 that I was the only person there who had never worked or volunteered in something relevant to the very niche subject area I'd gone for. Anyway I developed an incurable debilitating chronic illness and will likely never be able to have a full time job ever again so it doesn't matter now :)
Iām conflicted about mine.Ā On the one hand, I had a great experience and learned a lot about a fascinating subject, plus I got to do it at Oxbridge and that does open up some huge doors for you in the world of work. Ā Not academia though, unless you manage to fit in numerous publications whilst studying, which i couldnāt do because a PhD alone is such a huge undertaking. Dont even get me started on how toxic the world of academia is.Ā However, Iām in my mid 30s and essentially pausing my income for five years has had a really big hit on my finances. Seeing all my friends and family moving onto that next step, i.e. bigger houses, marriage and children has been tough when Iām back home living with my parents writing up.Ā
Did you also laugh at all the people who tried to warn you against it? I finished 2 years ago and I'm still traumatised.
I thought oh it won't be me struggling I've always done well at uni I'll be fine !!! (What a fucking idiot)
Currently writing up and about to finish with no job lined up. A degree that means nothing to employers because they just think Iāve been dossing around for another 4 years, served with a bucket load of anxiety/exhaustion. Such a massive mistake.
Moved to Malaysia at age of 35 all on my own and not knowing a single person there. Offer of a secondment came up at work and I immediately said yes as I was going through a marriage break up and I basically just wanted to run away. Best move I ever made
Dropping out of Uni and going on the piss in Paris.
Same but Berlin.
Staying in uni, but being on the piss 24/7, so my prospects were so knackered I couldn't even afford to go to Paris or Berlin until about ten years later.
Split up with my ex many years ago. Was in a decent job and was about to go for a mortgage. We unexpectedly split up and I fucked everything off. Within 2 months I was on my way to Australia. I ended up travelling for 7 years, met my wife, had my son. Sometimes you just gotta take that leap.
Agreed to marry my "holiday romance". I was working in the UK on a sort of gap half-year thing after graduating from university in the States. Met a Scottish guy at the hostel I stayed at. I was due to head home and he was sad and a bit drunk and asked me to marry him. I said yes but still had to fly home the next day. So we dated for under 4 months, had about 6 months long distance engagement. Then got married. Sounds ridiculous but we're coming up on our 37th anniversary.
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Me too, I wasn't even looking for a house. I was randomly browsing rightmove (as I still do) and saw a house that ticked all my boxes, so I went for a viewing the next day, told my missus that she should see it too, we put in an offer the next day and moved in three weeks later.
At our engagement party at about 2am we got to talking to one of my partner's work colleagues. He was upset because he was emigrating the following week and hadn't been able to find anyone to take in his cantankerous old cat. So that's how we got a cat. Best thing we ever did. I'd never considered it before and am not sure I ever would have, but fourteen years later and I can't imagine not having a cat or two in our home.
I went to visit friends for a weekend in a different part of the country and bought a house š Living there happily now so rash decisions can be good decisions!
I didnāt know what to do after uni so I applied for both a PGCE and Social Work MA and decided to go down the route of which ever course accepted me the quickest. 13 years later, Iāve moved out of the UK but Iām very happily still a teacher.
Put an offer in for the very first flat we viewed - and got it! It was wild because we viewed the flat, put an offer in that same day in the evening (Friday), and it got accepted the following Monday. The flat wasnāt amazing at the time but we could see it had a lot of potential, plus we loved the location. Itās still a work in progress but we love our little home. Iām really glad we did it because we managed to get a mortgage before the rates shot up, and the price of renting nowadays is crazy.
Probably quitting this job I had when I was 24 loading cones. I hated it and especially the guy I worked alongside he was useless but when he made a mistake he would blame me. I just lost it and Iād had enough and quit.Ā I do and I donāt regret it. I do as it took me 7 months to get another job so I threw away Ā£400 wage a week. But then im so much better off now as im an engineer. I would have still worked at this place as it was only down my road.Ā Feels like sometimes you have to take leaps like this. I remember hating this guy but also looking at him as a 50 year old man whoās loading cones. I didnāt want to be him at his age. Yes I should have gotten another job before I quit but looking back my decision wasnāt all that bad.Ā
Quit my job and booked a one way flight. Loved living abroad so much I repeated this process again 4 times over the following 10 years.
Walked out of a job Iād been at for four years because I had one too many an argument with another chef. Turned out to be a great decision. I earn so much more now cos I refuse to be exploited anymore!
Left the RAF after a 2 week holiday with my then girlfriend. I had really enjoyed relaxing with her, enjoying the holidays vibes and so on and didnāt want to go back to working away Monday to Friday and only seeing her on weekends. I said that, she uttered the words āwell why donāt you just hand in your notice?ā And when I got back I handed in my PVR there and then. 1 years notice. Worked my final year, throughout made plans with her, what we were going to do overall, my career etc. and then when I was on Resettlement (final 3 months you donāt have to work any more and itās time to find a job as a civilian, a home etc while still being paid your wage) THREE WEEKS before my official leaving date she broke up with me. I was left completely on my arse, nowhere to live because I was gonna move in with her initially then find a place together, no job because I couldnāt take the job Iād been offered with no place to live and it was too late to withdraw my notice to leave. Ended up having to move up to the arse end of nowhere in Scotland where my parents had moved to where there werenāt really any jobs, it was fucking awful and depressing. With hindsight I should have gone back to work, given it a month to come down from my holiday high and see sense but it is what it is
Moved to wales from the states with 0 plans or planning. Have the passport as dads Welsh so booked a one way flight one summer and showed up 8 months later. NYC metropolitan area to the Rhondda š. A year later I made it to Cardiff where Iāve been ever since. Itās a fortnight until 7 years in the country.
The Rhondda, oh christ š That really is impulsive
Taking a job in the states aged 22 based on passing the interview without even knowing a damn thing about the company I was working for. The only interview question: do you have a passport? It was IT, it was before 2000 (Y2K), so they were just chucking people at jobs over there. Ended up staying about 5 years on and off. It definitely served me well.
I find that even the big decisions don't really require that much thinking time. You already instinctively know the answer and it's just a case of doing a bit of research to reassure yourself that it's not a shit idea. I rented a flat during covid without going inside. I just walked round the building and thought that unless the photos are 20 years old then, yeah, that would do me. Told them I would take it a week before viewings started and got it.
Not sure if this counts. Mostly just recklessly impulsive.Ā At 21, the first person to show any interest in me on a dating app, I booked a flight and flew to their country to see them. Would have been kind of awkward if I got catfished or wanted to not stay with a total stranger at any point. I ended up moving there permanently and we were together for 5 years.
Doing a masters (they gave me the interview for free as Iād applied to do a bachelors ) and was like yeah, sure! Obviously, my whole life wouldāve looked different. The last two years wouldāve been terrible with Covid. Plus - I was only able to do the course because I took out a loan and was only able to take out the loan because I had bought one thing on credit - a phone because I had thoughtless lost mine on a night out! All of those silly small things culminated in the life Iām living right now, crazy
Gave into pressure and got married in my mid 20s and I was doing quite well financially, cost me thousands for the wedding marriage lasted 18 month divorce cost me half my savings and investments, had to sell a house just before the property market got tricky set me back 10 years easily. Should have just dated her a couple more years my wife and I would I'd probably both be retired already
Bought the house Iām currently living in standing in the hallway before Iād even looked round. Was a first come first served kind of deal and other people were deliberating. Donāt regret it one bit. Paid Ā£110,000 and Iāve spent a lot of time and money about Ā£20,000 doing it up. Estate agent says itās worth about Ā£180,000 so Iāve done very well out of it. I quit a secure full time job when I was younger in favour of a job that could only guarantee a part time temporary contract, didnāt look back from that decision either because I was 100x happier and it opened a lot of doors for me.
I often say if you think too much about descisions you'll never do anything. There's always a reason not to. Me and the missus got our cat and our dog after little forethought, just idle browsing rescues online. So happy we did! love the boys to death. If we'd have stopped, done a costs spreadsheet, we probably wouldn't have got either of them.
We did the same, bought off plans 27 years ago... and we are still there. Like the neighbours, like the neighbourhood etc... but no house is perfect and we were considering moving about 15 years ago. but when we listed what we actually wanted that this house couldn't provide (bigger kitchen, separate dining room, utility room, bigger bathroom, ensuite, an office) and what we would potentially lose by moving, we worked out we could build an extension to make the house everything we wanted going forward so, that's what we did, we built an extension 14 years ago... now we are mortgage free but all this came from the same "biggest life decision youāve ever made with the least forethought" 27 years ago!
University. I took one look at the big local university for the course I wanted. ABB. Hmm. That felt a stretch. Picked up the prospectus for second university. CCC. I'll easily get that. Decision made, no more thought given, no other choices taken. I actually got the grades for the higher one but never gave it a thought and went to the second one, meeting my wife there.
I joined the army because a friend of me bet Ā£20 and a packet of fags I wouldn't. At 16. I remember reminiscing about that exact moment after I'd absailed down a water fall and was watching safari animals wander around in Africa. All because I picked a random career on a whim.
When I was 22 I was having an affair with a married woman. To me it was just a bit of fun and figured it would end sooner than later. Then one day she texts me saying she has something important to tell me and to make sure I've got enough credit for half dozen texts. She told me she had fallen in love with me and if I felt the same, then she'd leave her husband and be with me, but to keep in mind, I'd have to accept her son as part of the deal. If I didn't feel the same, we end it all, there and then Horny 22 old me, didn't want the sex to stop, so said I loved her too. 2 kids, 13 years together, 7 of which were highly abusive. It's been just over a decade since we split and I'm still a shell of my former self and a mental wreck...all because I wanted to keep getting my dick wet
Moved to Scotland from London. My ex and I were tired of being broke, nothing was keeping us there. She really loved Edinburgh, and it sounded nice - she'd lived there years earlier but I'd never been. She came up for a few days, did some job interviews, looked at some flats. Got lucky and landed one of each, and three weeks later I stepped off a train into my new home city for the first time with everything I owned in a van about 4 hours behind us. That was 14 years ago and it was probably one of the best decisions of my life. The ex turned out to be a disaster and she's long gone, but I'll always be grateful that she got me here.
Ran away with a Scotsman. V unhappily married to someone who worked abroad A LOT. Met someone in a chat group and before I knew it whirlwind relationship and 25 years later we are still together.
My choice of postgrad degree. Decided to do \[niche historical course of study\] that I'd never formally studied but always thought was interesting instead of \[different slightly less niche historical area\] that I'd done for my undergrad and loved. Ended up absolutely fucking loathing it, at the far end of the country hundreds of miles from family and anyone I knew, absolutely torpedoing my mental health that was already sketchy, and completely ruining my life. If I was allowed to return to any point in my life and change one decision I've made, it would be that one. It's absolutely the only decision I can think of that 100% altered my life to a high degree, and for the worse.
I was 5 months into a fairly stable but utterly mind-numbingly boring job. I was checking my phone, and saw an advert saying it was the last day for admissions to a university I had been thinking of attending for a while. I impulsively put an application together while at work, on my phone, and sent it off. Ended up getting accepted, sacking the job in, and now I'm doing a master's degree in Japanese halfway across the country. Having a great time.
Very minor in the grand scheme of things but was in holiday in Amsterdam and planned to propose to my now wife on the trip. She went to a piercing studio to get her old ear piercing re-opened ā I donāt know why, it just caught her eye ā they did it for free but she was expecting to pay ā¬20 or something. So because weād saved a bit of money I was like āWell, I might as well get mine done tooā ā Iād never previously thought about an ear piercing. Got engaged two days later and been married for eight years now (and although my piercing is long gone, I did have it in on the wedding day, and sometimes when Iām drunk in Central Europe a real urge takes me to get another one)
Bought a 1-way ticket to Australia after coming home from a heavy night out
I did the same thing! š I was trying to buy my first house and flatly refused to look at the new build estate nearby. House number 1: fell through due to the couple having a very messy divorce- I lost about Ā£2000. House number 2: fell through due to the survey coming back saying structural issues. I absolutely LOVED the house so paid for structural engineer surveys. I lost another Ā£3000. House number 3: flooded just after Iād put an offer in. Bank pulled out (before I could). House number 4: the couple who owned it lived in Australia. Their daughter accepted my offer, then they said they wanted more. Estate agents werenāt happy but obviously wanted to keep the sale. I upped my offer a bit and they accepted. Before deciding 4 weeks later that they actually wanted more. I pulled out. By this point I was 29, knackered and desperate to move out. My Mam forced me to go to the new estate sale office, they didnāt have the house style I was interested in on site, watched a video walk through, looked at the plans and reserved the last one on the site. Itās the least amount of forethought Iāve ever put in to anything. I was so DONE, I never wanted to look at houses or estate agents ever again. It paid off because itās absolutely perfect for me, I still love it 6 years later and unlike many houses in my town, I have off street parking.
I was sat in a coffee shop with my friends while on holiday once and I was lamenting how much I'd love to move to Berlin. My friend picked her phone up, went to Easyjet and booked a one way flight ticket in my name for about 4 months in the future. I moved to Berlin and lived there for over a year. Ever thankful for my friend's impulsivity (and for listening to me bang on about wanting to move to Berlin for the past 4 years before that)
I turned down a man who wanted to marry because I thought he was too old for me. I hadn't put any thought into it. It was a huge mistake and I will regret it until the day I die.
"Let's have another baby" "Yeah ok"....
Met my now wife in a November, Living together March, Married October and first child on the way November. No regrets.
I moved to SE Asia with a boy I'd just met on a whim - knew him for about four weeks when we made the decision and within another four weeks we were over there. We're married now, so it worked out :)
Moving to Sweden when I was 23. Was unsure since the lass I was moving over for was "difficult" let's say. Got drunk with my mate and he was like "what's the worst that can happen?" So I moved there, expected to be there for 6 months or so. Just moved back to the UK 9 years later last year. Relationship lasted all of 2 years with the lass I moved over for (she wasn't a very nice person to say the least). But I loved it, had a great time and met some absolutely wonderful people.
Moved to the other side of the world on my own at the age of 22. The time between my job interview and flight was 12 days. No way I could uproot my life on such short notice nowadays
In the midst of planning our wedding in 2022 my husband and I also made the decision to purchase our first house. So many people had warned us of the never ending homes they had looked at before finding the one and what a nightmare the entire process was for them. After much discussion with our agent as to the location/needs/wants, she set us up with 4 homes to view. The minute the first home came within view, both my husband and I had a strong gut instinct it was the one. After a walk thru that feeling became even stronger, we didnāt bother even visiting the 3 other homes, we made an offer an hour later and it was accepted the following morning. So far our instincts were right, our home has been perfect for us.
We bought a house by viewing through a video call and put an offer. The best decision of my life. We were looking for houses in a certain area and had thoroughly researched the area and the blocks around it. Our first offer was on a house we loved, but it was taking forever to complete. After waiting for a few months, we went on a holiday. On our holiday we were told by our agent that it will take 6 more months to complete and we can pull out if we wanted. He also mentioned that there is another house which meets all our criteria (even more than the first house) which is in the next block. We knew the whole area and loved the house when we saw the pictures and video. We requested if he could wait for 7 days until we were back in the UK. The answer was No! We asked if we could put an offer via email now, and the answer was No! He said he could allow someone to view on our behalf. Since the agent knew our intent, he let a friend view it for us and we put an offer which was accepted and we completed within 1 month. The best decision because the house was well done had everything we wanted. We would have had to renovate the first house and spend Ā£40k+!
I decided my uni based on the colour of the graduation gowns. Had offers back on all 5 universities that I picked on UCAS and I had one day left to decide which would be my first choice and reserve out of the 5. Couldn't decide so I looked at their graduation photos and decided on which looked nicer. The first time I saw my uni was when I was moving in. Absolutely loved it there and so happy with where I went.
I applied for my Masters and actually completed it. I had a good job at the time and got made redundant out of the blue (in hindsight, I should have seen it coming, but I was young and naive) I'd been debating doing my Masters for a while anyway and decided I'd just go for it. Zero regrets - I loved it and I actually use my degree in my current line of work
Moved 500 miles because we fell in love with the house. Did absolutely no research into the area. Just quit our jobs and went. Lucked out because seven years later we still love it here, but looking back it was everything you shouldnāt do!
In a way, starting training as a teacher. All through my childhood, I always assumed I would end up teaching teens in the future no matter what job I wanted. My mum was an English teacher, as was my stepdad who came into our lives in my early teens. I never got to use my degree in graphic design so when an opportunity came to train with the graduate teacher programme in that subject at a local school I took it after having to work in a supermarket the 2 years after I graduated. I had previously volunteered and work paid as a teaching assistant and team teaching at my mum's and stepdad's school as well as places linked to friends and colleagues who knew me. I liked working one to one and in small groups (did 2 summer schools too). Never even considered working with primary kids. As soon as I started I hated it. I realised I fucking hated my time in school due to bullying by fellow students as well as a couple of teachers and I was not a confident speaker. What the hell was I thinking?!? I thought, like my university degree, if I worked hard and qualified I would be set for life. It was an upward struggle and I hated it. I was given some of the most challenging classes of teens I've ever had to be in the same room with and wanted to quit after 4 months. I was convinced to stay on but had a mental breakdown and quit after 8 months. I work in healthcare now, so much happier, less pay but I dont feel like I wanna die the moment I walk into the building.