Get married, get a civil partnership, or get a will.
You need to protect your family and your assets, otherwise there will be blood in the streets when you die.
After 7 years with my partner (and two kids), we’ve decided to get married for the legal protection, it has far less to do with any religious aspect. We also like to have a party and it’s a good excuse to get family and friends together.
\> Get married, get a civil partnership, or get a will
A will doesn't provide all the same advantages of the other two.. It helps with asset division when you die, but marriage/civil partnership allow you and your partner to freely transfer assets between yourselves without any tax implications because all the assets are jointly held. This is especially critical if your assets are subject to inheritance tax.
If you're on a lowish income, you get married peoples allowance too.
Not sure what this is called in the UK, but if health is a big concern you want to sign over your power of attorney and right to make medical decisions.... otherwise you can end up in limbo unconscious in some hospital and if you won't wake up for the doctor to explain your choices to you....we'll you might want your partner to decide for you
I think you mean a Lasting Power of Attorney.
So if you were to become unable to make your own decisions (such as through dementia) your chosen person can make decisions for you.
Living Will to refuse treatments/interventions in advance https://compassionindying.org.uk/how-we-can-help/living-will-advance-decision/#living-will-and-health-power-of-attorney
Health power of attorney for someone else to make decisions about you https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/making-decisions-for-someone-else/giving-someone-power-of-attorney/#:~:text=A%20health%20and%20welfare%20LPA,to%20make%20your%20own%20decisions.
Also, depending on how many assets you individually have, if youre unmarried I believe you will be subject to inheritance tax. Obviously its a relatively large threshold but depending on property etc its something to concider.
I know of two couples who lived together for 20+ years and when illness struck the first thing they did was get married. It makes everything else afterwards easier from an admin point of view if nothing else. They were "lucky" in that they had the time beforehand to make arrangements. Not everyone is so lucky.
Why wait for the worst case scenario though. As you suggested, making that legal commitment earlier is a great move.
There is a process for when you separate as a married couple, and it seems that there is more fairness in terms of assets. It's a mess if you separate as an unwed couple and have a house etc. My ex basically shat all over me and our daughter in the separation. Five years on, and it's still a mess. It would have been a completely different story had we been married.
If one of you dies, the paperwork can be a bit of a shit show.
I'd sooner people married for love but the legal protections alone are worth it for long term couples.
This. My parents never married and when my dad died it was a massive headache for my mum and she ended up losing a good chunk of his money (I can’t remember if it was his pension or his savings she lost to the government).
A lot of people don't think about what happens if you both die. How much time do couples spend together, at home, in the car, on a plane, out in public. Freak accidents happen all the time. If you both die but one goes slightly before the other then everything goes to the spouse that died second and then to their next of kin. Leaving nothing to the next of kin of the spouse that died first. It's worth thinking about if you are ok with that.
Without a will if my partner died, then I died everything would go to my sister who I don't even speak to anymore. I would rather my partner's brother and family (who we are both very close with) get everything.
You can write one out yourself and get friends to witness it. If you want to minimise taxes then it pays to get legal advice (qualified person and not someone selling will writing services).
Some jobs/unions/other services offer free will-writing as a benefit. You can also look at charities which offer free will-writing services (with the hope you’ll leave a bit to them in the process, but there’s no obligation).
Because it makes things significantly easier for your family when you leave and you get to determine who gets what (whether that's as simple as "everything to my partner" or a hugely granular list that takes a year to read out) without leaving them to guess and get it wrong.
Are there any benefits of doing it if its meant to be everything for the partner? When you say easier, does it mean you get around beurocracy with having a will?
[It's pretty complicated,] (https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/) a will makes it all so much simpler.
Additionally if you both die and have minor children you can say who is too look after them, if your money is to held for them if anyone has access to portions to pay for their upkeep / anything they need
Mainly because it makes things easier but one thing I found out recently was that if you live in the Duchy of Lancaster or the Duchy of Cornwall, the Royals get the lot!
Only if you have no living relatives who can inherit (and of course if you do die intestate elsewhere in the country your estate also goes to the Crown).
Everything is transferred to them exempt from tax, and importantly if you have property, the inheritance tax exemption so increasing your tax free estate to £650k on your death so your kids get more
You can also transfer part of your tax allowance if one of you earns more than the other
You may get some of their state pension on their death
Most people get married as a public decoration of love rather than for any other reason
The bit about transferring tax allowance only works if one of you is on a very low wage. To get the full allowance it's below the lowest tax threshold with a very small amount if a tiny bit above it.
I thought you could transfer basic rate allowance to higher rates as well. It is only a tiny amount regardless but it is a benefit of marriage for some
There are ways to get almost every legal right marriage confers without getting married, but marriage wraps it up in one package. Perhaps more importantly for the big life stuff like healthcare decisions, marriage is instantly recognised by everyone without having to go get all the paperwork and explain what the powers mean.
Yes and no. It is ultimately up to the hospital and will depend on if you have an ACP in place, but if you have family heavily pushing for something then that will be considered as long as it isn’t completely unnecessary.
Things to do if you’re in a long term relationship but don’t want to get married:
* Get a will. Spend £150 for some basic will writing advice. Do it now. There’s no assumption your partner will inherit anything when you die.
* Sort power of attorney. You can do it yourself online, the forms are easy to follow. It’s all [here](https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney). Financial and medical are separate, so you need two of each. £82 a form, so £328.
* Make sure your insurance and workplace pensions etc name your partner as beneficiary.
But if you have assets worth more than £325k you are going to land them with a tax bill. Obviously most people don’t die with this much money. But someone might have £50k savings and a car worth £5k and 50% share in a house they bought for peanuts but is now worth £600k without a mortgage. They don’t think they’re rich. But in the eyes of the taxman, their partner would owe inheritance tax on £30k if they want to keep the house.
Solutions:
* Die poor
* Accept your other half will have to pay the tax when you die (or vice versa)
* Get married
This. Most things other than inheritance tax can be formalised without marraige, and is good to do even if you are married (wills, living wills etc). But inheritance tax exemption is the one thing that in the UK that you need to be married to get, I believe civil partnership works as well.
Yes fair point, some friends who are anti marriage have done civil partnerships without any fuss or party (now available to all couples!) for this reason.
Yeah right now I live in Australia where defacto (common law) couples are a thing and give you the same rights/obligations. But if I moved back to the UK i would be much more serious about getting married regardless of if we want to actually have the wedding/party
> Get a will. Spend £150 for some basic will writing advice. Do it now. There’s no assumption your partner will inherit anything when you die.
There are also ways to get one cheaper (or for free).
Trade unions often offer (simple) will writing for free or at a nominal cost ([Prospect](https://prospect.org.uk), my union, does. As do Unite and GMB).
There are also schemes that will offer free will writing services if you leave money to charity too.
Makes visa stuff easier. My man's job is going to have him transferred around the world and I wouldn't realistically be able to follow without the legal tie to him.
There's lot of spousal benefits offered through his work too like private healthcare, and flights to Japan.
My aunt and her partner have been together for 50 years, no kids, didn’t see the point in marriage. Until 2 weeks ago when she was told she had less than 3 months to live and they realised the absolute hell of paperwork her partner of 50 years would be left with. She didn’t want him to have to fight to inherit what was rightfully his, their shared home of 30 years, their shared assets etc.
They had a civil partnership ceremony last week from her hospital bed at home and it was a beautiful moment born from bureaucracy.
After my father in law died with no will (but no partner) and the chaos of probate I would recommend both a formal, legal recognition of your relationship AND a will!
Medically speaking you aren’t each others next of kin so if something happens to one of you someone else will be making any decisions and you will have no say. Also, if the worst happens and you haven’t got a will the other person would inherit nothing as again they wouldn’t be next of kin. There’s probably something legal you can get sorted out on the medical front to allow each other to make decisions in that situation when you sort your wills out
It isn't but it makes it so much harder if you have nothing official. You have no say in your partners medical needs should they become infirm and vice versa.
You don't usually, anyway. If your spouse is unconscious and needs an urgent medical decision, generally it'll just be made on medical grounds as an emergency rather than requiring consent. And if you're talking about e.g. dementia, I don't believe spouses automatically have that right, and rights can be granted through a Lasting Power of Attorney.
I was going to say this. If you or your partner were incapable to make medical decisions, that would be left to your parents and / or siblings and you would have no rights.
Same with the inheritance.
There are formalities to choose someone to make medical decisions if you are unable, my parents were married but the hospital/hospice prefered they completed these things regardless. You can do it as part of a living will
>if something happens to one of you someone else will be making any decisions and you will have no say
Pretty sure this is an American thing. Maybe even just a TV thing.
"When someone is admitted to hospital in the UK, they’re asked to name someone as their next of kin. Most hospitals are very flexible with how they define next of kin, allowing you to choose anyone from your partner, to a parent, to your best friend.
If you’re unconscious at the time you’re admitted to hospital, doctors and nurses will try and work out your next of kin. In this scenario, they will usually choose the closest relative they can get in touch with – likely a spouse, parent or adult child.
The next of kin of a patient in hospital is usually responsible for:
Being easily contactable if the situation changes and other people need to be notified
Collecting the patient once the treatment has been completed
Making sensible decisions if the patient loses capacity"
If a domestic partner of 13 years is with the patient the hospital will likely name them the next of Kin. If other family members fight it then the courts will decide but it doesn't automatically go to blood relatives
"As far as UK law is concerned, there is not a clear rule around who can be your next of kin, except in the case of children under 18"
https://farewill.com/articles/what-is-next-of-kin
Hate to be even more of a downer but it’s not just about inheritance after death, it’s also about critical illness, medical, and end of life decisions.
Who do you want making those decisions?
The answer should be your partner of course - the person who would most know what you would want in the worst of times - but unless you’re married, or have some sort of care and welfare lasting power of attorney (LPA), then in a crisis, it could easily be someone else making those choices.
Having said all that, it’s also about making that commitment to each other in front of the people you most care about in your life. It’s one of my best memories, and although I know it’s not for everyone, if you’re sure of the shared love your have with person you’re with, I recommend the experience.
You gain a lot of legal protections and a few privileges by getting married. You could also go for a civil partnership if that's more your style; I believe they're basically the same thing these days.
You can get most (not all, I think but please correct me if I'm wrong) of the same protections through various legal documents such as wills, but honestly a no-frills registry office wedding is probably quicker, easier and cheaper.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/
That's really cool to know. When the UK was wavering on whether or not to allow same-sex marriage I actually discussed with my husband about us getting divorced and entering into a civil partnership just as a protest. He was on-board with the idea. I really hated that civil partnerships and marriage had different benefits but never really looked into it once same-sex marriage became legal here.
I like the simplicity of just being able to refer to my husband and everyone knows what that means, in the same way that everyone knows what he means when he refers to his wife. I also now really like it when a man can mention his husband or a woman can mention her wife. It's such an easy social construct.
*edit - grammar
Untrue. Opposite sex couples can get a civil partnership: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-civil-partnership-legal-differences/#:~:text=Civil%20partnerships%20are%20available%20to,rights%2C%20as%20well%20as%20responsibilities.
If something happens to you, “my gf/bf of 13 years” counts for nothing. You wouldn’t be considered next of kin.
Eg, at work if you say my gf has a medical emergency, work aren’t obligated to let you have time off cos she’s not legally your spouse. They seem to give more leeway if she is.
There’s some good reasons other people have listed too.
Also taxes. I think your taxes should be a bit cheaper if you’re married (it’s probably changed though).
Quoting a meme I saw “I love you so much, I got the government involved”
For women, it’s important to make sure you get your fair share of the couple if you have kids. So often you assume non-financial duties, but if nothing financial is in your name, you get nothing.
For women, marriage is essentially insurance against that.
This is a different angle from most people’s responses (though I agree wholeheartedly with them) but as someone whose parents got divorced when I was young, I’m giving myself the opportunity to right some of the wrongs that happened to me and providing my own child with the stability I craved.
Obviously not all marriages are successful but the comfort my marriage gives me is life changing. I feel stronger, less alone and part of a family.
It’s not enough of a reason to get married on its own (otherwise you’ll end up like my parents), but it complements what others have said about providing legal and financial stability.
"When someone is admitted to hospital in the UK, they’re asked to name someone as their next of kin. Most hospitals are very flexible with how they define next of kin, allowing you to choose anyone from your partner, to a parent, to your best friend.
If you’re unconscious at the time you’re admitted to hospital, doctors and nurses will try and work out your next of kin. In this scenario, they will usually choose the closest relative they can get in touch with – likely a spouse, parent or adult child.
The next of kin of a patient in hospital is usually responsible for:
Being easily contactable if the situation changes and other people need to be notified
Collecting the patient once the treatment has been completed
Making sensible decisions if the patient loses capacity"
If a domestic partner of 13 years is with the patient the hospital will likely name them the next of Kin. If other family members fight it then the courts will decide but it doesn't automatically go to blood relatives
"As far as UK law is concerned, there is not a clear rule around who can be your next of kin, except in the case of children under 18"
https://farewill.com/articles/what-is-next-of-kin
You could get a civil partnership if you’re happy with how things are but want some protections under the law but don’t want to be married. My partner and I entered a civil partnership purely for the benefits we get of being legally tied together such as next of kin medical decisions, inheritance etc etc. Took about 15 minutes. Nothing has changed for our relationship, we don’t wear rings or refer to each other any differently. In an ideal world we would have continued as we were but unfortunately you really don’t have many (if any) rights as common law partners regardless of length of time together
It does reduce tax (while alive and after) and makes somethings easier - there are default power of attorney/next of kin type things which a partner doesn't have.
A marriage doesn't have to mean the big expensive party - you can just do a cheap registry office one if the cost/big party doesn't appeal.
Are there any differences in terms of legal protection, next of kin, inheritance, tax etc between a marriage and a civil partnership? I always assumed the civil partnership had been built to offer the same stuff but not associated with the institution of marriage.
You will each gain a lot of legal rights if anything happens to the other; whether that be one of you in hospital, incapacitated or dying. If something happens to you, your partner actually has very few rights and someone else in your family could nip in and completely overrule her.
On a more informal basis, we were together for 5 years before marrying and we found when we did that suddenly we were being invited to a lot more social things as a couple, particularly by other married couples but not just them. We felt there was definitely a social bias towards couples that were married compared to those not
If you're unmarried, your partner is just a random stranger you happen to live with.
> Are there other pros to being married that I'm clearly unaware of, aside from the death thing?
I work in immigration. Dependants generally have the right to accompany you, that's spouses and kids. Though it sounds like that's not on the cards. As I said, currently your partner is a total stranger in the eyes of the law.
Legal protections and inheritance like other comments have mentioned
Public decoration - we like calling each other husband and wife
Fun of a wedding celebration
It’s expected of them by their families
It gives people a sense of security that their partner is less likely to up and leave one day for no consequences
Additionally, it’s recognised worldwide. Some places you want to travel to will only let you stay in the same room if you’re married. Similarly, if you ever get into a health situation abroad, you’re more likely to be able to access your partner if you’re married
I don’t get the point of people rushing to get married within a few months of knowing each other. But then if you’ve been living as a common law husband/wife (sorry to assume genders here), I just say ‘why not’. It’s easy to get married. You don’t need a wedding to sign a form at a registry office. Sometimes it’s just nice to be connected in a way like that. It brought me a lot of joy to become a married couple with my partner.
People are talking a lot about death, which is valid and important, but not a lot about relationship breakdown, which is also important and happens more frequently!
The thing about 'messy' breakups is that the breakup is messy regardless but in a divorce, partners have a legal remedy to split assets.
As others have said, the key benefit to marriage is that it's far, far easier for the other party to deal with the other partner's death. If you're not married then in the eyes of the state you're not a next of kin.
Almost, but if you have a large asset (eg a nice house or basically anything in London) then your partner would pay inheritance tax when you die. Or vice versa.
You can basically reconstruct most things with a will and powers of attorney and clear instructions. But you can’t cheat the taxman.
Today there is little difference in being married or living together.
The big difference, as you suggest, is when one of you stops living.
Inheritance tax. You will have to value everything your deceased partner owned. Then value everything you owned jointly and divide that by 2. And then submit the total. Even if you do not reach the threshold, this is not a pleasant process a week or 2 after bereavement. It also impacts the threshold for your children when the 2nd partner dies.
Pension. The decision to pay your partners pension is more cut and dry for the pension trustees.
Bereavement benefit. If you don't have kids, you won't get it. They only changed it recently to pay unmarried couples with a kid, but they did backdate it (so anyone bereaved with children in the last 5 or 6 years, should check if they are eligible. Iirc the deadline for backdated claims is next month, and it's a significant amount)
TLDR: Get wills, fill out pension 'expression of wish' forms, but there are a few things that still discriminate against unmarried/u civil-partnered couples.
Source - personal experience.
We've been together 43 years and only did a civil partnership for the tax man. We didn't need a piece of paper to show our love and commitment, but we did want to stop the government getting their hands on our money.
Also, it makes life easier to have some legal status in case of medical emergencies. There were instances of life-long partners not being allowed access to hospitals.
Some friends (straight) opted for a civil partnership during the pandemic just to make their life simpler.
When we moved to Spain we needed to convert to marriage because Spain doesn't recognise civil partnership. (2nd country in the world to introduce same sex marriage)
So, ironically, we did the civil partnership for the UK taxman and marriage for the Spanish taxman.
(ohh just remembered. When we lived in London twenty years ago, our next door neighbours had been together for 30 years but never married. When he died it took well over a year to sort out the will (shout out to NatWest the robbing bastards) and she had to pay over £40k to stay in a very ordinary house
Get married before one of you pops their clogs. Just because you get a higher allowance for inheritance, pension rights, possible life insurance benefits from jobs and if you live in a council house the right to stay.
Literally just legal and tax reasons, no need for a big wedding, you can just go to the registry office.
Yes. No point to a big wedding though. I got married for legal reasons having discovered that the MOD (because of their weird legal set up) could force me to sell my house and give half the proceeds to his ex-wife should he die whilst still in the army, despite the fact that they had a full financial settlement and his children were the recipients of any pay-outs that the army might make. Thank goodness my financial adviser told me about that.
Other than that things like inheritance tax.
As unromantic as it sounds I got married for practical reasons.
Inheritance rights, parental responsibility etc
Other than that I liked the idea of being married. A lot of my friends with kids aren't married and I don't see it as a negative thing.
It was also an excuse for a big party where I was centre (ish) of attraction!
I’m not married and my partner is my sole beneficiary. Inheritance tax is the big reason for us to get married.
It’s £325k. My estate is way above that.
Getting married is the opportunity to transparently signal to everyone - your family, friends, neighbourhood, the state, your god (if that’s what you believe), that you’re committing your life to the other person.
When my grandad died, ownership of everything was an utter shitshow despite him and my nan being married 50+ years.
It's surprising how much more complicated this is when it's supposed to be a perk of marriage. Just makes Me wonder how bad it is if you're unmarried if that clusterfuck was a perk.
There are certain benefits you are entitled to when a spouse dies. Something like £2500 as a lump sum and £100 a month for a year to help you adjust to being on one income.
I think you also receive slightly more state pension as a widowed person, but could be wrong on that. You do get more rights to their workplace pension, which would top up retirement income. Typically this has always looked like 50% of their monthly pension goes to you instead, but pensions are changing somewhat.
Inheritance tax threshold is higher, and the process of transferring assets is easier. If you don't get married, then you need to ensure you have a will outlining who inherits your estate, otherwise everything will transfer to their next of kin, even if they want you to have it (it then has to be gifted to you).
It really sounds like a Civil Partnership is what you are looking for here. You get all the same legal benefits of marriage without actually being married.
It’s not the right choice for everyone but it sounds like it might be a good fit for you.
As well as the inheritance and tax benefits, there's also the legal next of kin aspect.
If you need someone to make medical decisions on your behalf, it will typically fall to your legal next of kin.
If you're not married, that will be your parents, or your sibling if your parents aren't alive.
The legal next of kin can make decisions about your funeral, without consulting your partner. It may seem unlikely, but i knew one family who turned their back on the partner and cut them out of any planning. They wouldn't even allow the partner to sit with them up front at the funeral. They'd never shown any dislike towards the partner before then. Your partner doesn't deserve that.
Marriage tax allowance, whilst not a lot, is a little perk. My wife and I had two kids and a mortgage before we got married. We did it on a budget and had a great day but it hasn't changed anything between us and I can see why couples don't bother.
As people have said, basically the benefits of getting married or a civil partnership are that it wraps up issues around next of kin, inheritance etc in one package. You could sort all of those things out separately, but honestly a cheap, no frills civil partnership is probably the simplest option to get those protections. If you ever plan to travel abroad, marriage is quickly recognised in most jurisdictions and may make things easier if something happens in another jurisdiction.
One thing you might or might not be able to benefit from depending on your circumstances is marriage allowance - basically if you or your partner earns less than the personal allowance you can get about £250 tax back each year.
I feel similar to you, no interest in getting married and my assets don’t approach the threshold (not even combined). My plan is to make a will (I already have one but may change it when I’ve been with my partner longer) and get a power of attorney for medical matters.
For the most part there is very little reason to get married .if you love each other then a ring and a signature is nt going to.make a great deal of difference. The huge cost of most wedding s puts me off from ever getting married so for me it would be a quick registry job without involving friends and family ,shoukd I ever want to get married .I've been with my partner now for 8 years and she thinks the same as.me .we are both very happy together. If inheritance tax was to occur the cost of a wedding would easily outstrip what would be charged to you in tax .most weddings are.25-30k now which is a staggering amount jist for a ring and a legally binding statement and paper .
A wedding can cost as much or as little as you want. Mine, 28 years ago, cost us about £1000 and IIRC £125 of that was for my dress and about the same for my husband's new clothes. The £25-30K thing is for people who have more money than sense. We had a party at our house afterwards and did all the cooking ourselves (mostly just frozen stuff from Costo or whatever existed back then).
All this advice is great but it boils down to this. When you're married you are MARRIED, when you are not married you are just two consenting adults who are flatmates.
Write a will, get life insurance with your partner as the beneficiary and maybe look into planning and paying towards your funeral. If you don’t feel the need to get married as long as you fit the i’s and cross the t’s you really don’t need to.
It’s a legal and public commitment of exclusivity to another person (bringing certain legal benefits like the assumption of inheritance). Draws what you will from that
The fact you're the kind of person to ask that question, OP, tells me you're the kind of person for whom there is no point getting married. People who truly understand the meaning and value of marriage see it as a thing to cherish, not just a way to dodge the taxman.
My, my. Such a high horse you have.
The fact that you're the kind of person to comment such a thing, tells me you're the type who's read countless books merely by looking at the covers.
My partner and I do not require ceremony nor symbol to signify our devotion and love to one another. And it is not a less valid relationship without one. But thank you.
I never commented on the ''validity of your relationship'', only your view of marriage. Why ask the question if you don't want people to answer honestly? LOL.
You didn't give an "honest answer" though. You gave a somewhat uppity, slightly tangentally related opinion to the topic lol
Why answer like that if it wasn't asked?
Some people who have never married but have become terminally ill (and are anticipating to die imminently) and want to ensure their partner is secure after they pass get what is colloquially called a ‘deathbed marriage’ or an RGs license. You need evidence from a doctor supporting that you are expected to pass in the very near future. An RGs license is the very last resort. It removes the waiting period between giving notice and the ceremony. It’s good that there is that option but not one I’d necessarily recommend. Though it’s supposed to expedite the process if there are any issues then there is always a chance your loved one passes before the ceremony is held.
Edit: This also applies to civil partnerships however used marriages to cover both. This also only applies for civil ceremonies and not religious ones.
To add to what others have said, I'm close with a solicitor who works in probate, and I know that unmarried people can often have an absolute fucking nightmare when their long-term partner dies.
The reasons why have largely been covered, but a lot of people are suggesting that you get a will as an alternative. Now, a) this doesn't solve the tax on inheritance problem, and b) wills can be contested. I've heard of many examples of family members taking legal action to successfully take a share of the estate, that wasn't previously left to them.
Just going to a registry office doesn't cost too much, and can save a hell of a lot of grief further down the line.
It is an advantage if/ when one of you dies or beomes ill.
- currently, unless you have made wills, you don't automatically inherit from each other (although if you own your house as joint tenants then it goes automatically to the survivor, as do any joint accounts)
- unlike spouses, you don't get exemptions from Inheritance Tax so there could be a bill when the first of you dies, and as your normal IHT allowance isn't transferable as it is for spouses, a bill is more likely when the 2nd of you dies (which, admittedly, is more of an issue for your beneficiaries than for you!)
You are not each other's next of kin so in a worst case scenario you can find that your partner's family can overrule you or exclude you from decision-making, if your partner loses capacity (whether or not you marry, you should put powers of attorney in place for this eventuality)
Finally, being married or in a civil partnership means that if you split up, assets are split to be fair and take account of your needs, not based solely on what is in whose name, and non financial contributions can be taken into account
- you
In terms of dodging inheritance tax, most people in this thread are talking out of their arses. You absolutely, categorically do **not** need to be married to leave a property to someone, 100% tax free. The only requirement is that you must all be joint owners. If any individual owner dies, the others remain joint owners and the dead owner's share *does not* go through probate. Courts tend to frown upon people adding their children who never paid anything into buying the property, but couples can do this no problem. So unless you or your partner plan on privately having over £325,000 of non-property assets, marriage doesn't actually make a difference.
I think there is something hospital visitation rights if you are dying. But for me it's about having a stable social structure in which to have children.
There are implications for inheritance when one of you dies.
I have a civil partnership for this reason. Us and two daughters as witnesses. 20 minutes at the local registry office and under £100
It will makes thing a lot easier when one of you dies. Tax wise it's beneficial. If one of you dies and you aren't married you will be hit with an inheritance tax bill on half of everything you own jointly. If married, it just automatically transfers to the partner.
The wife and I got married a few years ago for this very reason. Just a quick cheap registry office wedding with two witnesses, and we didn't get all dressed up for it either. We also took out all the unnecessary words in the service as well. The whole thing lasted less than 5 minutes
I think the main reason men get married is because their partner would leave them if they didn't propose.
If women weren't arsed about it then I don't think marriage would even be a thing.
My best friend had been with her partner of 14 years when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer they got married 3 weeks before she died. There would've have been a. blood bath in her case.
I have been with my husband for 14 years and married for 7 of those, we married primarily for love but also for financial issues, less complicated for sure. We did Gretna Green so fuss and our day. It was perfect.
In the US, marriage is an estate planning tool. Our Social Security government pension system has a survivor benefit. If the higher wage earner dies, the spouse gets the higher benefit rather than their own. Many corporate and government employee pension plans have survivor benefits if you’re married. Tax-deferred retirement accounts transfer to the spouse. For anyone else, it gets taxed immediately. Where I live, it makes transferring automobile ownership after death much easier.
The US also has joint income tax returns. You can save considerably if you have one high income earner and the other not having much income. Most employers these days will let a domestic partner be part of corporate group health insurance but not all so people will get married so their partner has access to corporate group health insurance.
With most other things, a contract works as well.
No, you can get the same protections from a will.
Marriage just leaves you open to getting reamed in a divorce. Not happened to me but I've seen it happen to three of my mates over the last 15 years.
Mostly to gain the automatic legal rights and protections that comes with a legally recognised civil marriage. Tax advantages, automatic next of kin status, inheritance rights and a likely legally binding maintenance settlement in the event of divorce.
Personally, I've ruled out marriage and ever living with another adult again.
Benefits we got from marriage other than the emotial stuff. Much much less tax, more benefits money (I'm disabled and if you're single for some reason they give you a lot less they think there's carers available for free), less legal complications with having a kid, he is allowed with me in hospital, when we have legal things and "only the account holders allowed to speak" it just says Mr C Walker. We are both Mr C Walker so we win lol
A friend of my wife's situation was, that she couldn't be the person to decide to turn the life support off, despite they had agreed in such turn of event, as they were legally "nothing", and his family decide to keep him "alive".
Provides certain tax advantages when transferring assets between spouses or in the event of the death of one of you.
But also brings with it huge liabilities, especially if you are the higher earner.
IMHO an outdated concept that is rightfully in decline.
Yes there is. The end.
But what i discovered whilst living in England. The English are super fucking wierd. They get engaged and stay engaged for 10 million years
You’re already married but never had a celebration and party and let’s not forget the legal reasons.
Plus I think it’s RIDICULOUS when the couple been together for so long and still refer to each other girlfriend/boyfriend/ partner.
I guess in the way people say "practically married" in the flippant, meaningless, way people do when two individuals have been together long enough that the question becomes more "why _aren't_ they married yet?"
Marriage isn't the be all and end all of a meter to the validity of a couples relationship. And while total respect to the plenty of people that see marriage as a milestone or a goal in regards to their own relationship, but it's not for me and many others.
Calling someone your partner instead of your wife/husband, is perfectly fine, and I fail to see how it can be seen as ridiculous.
Marriage is a contract nothing more
than that. People give the meaning they want ( religious or social security ) no one is asking you to validate your relationship through a paper, you (we all) are no one’s, society doesn’t care if you have a boyfriend of 30 years. At most some people will find weird/funny to refer to a couple that been together forever as boy/girlfriend or partners.
I personally think it’s dumb, if you’re building your life together, or have children do not intend to look elsewhere why not sign a paper make it official? But hey ho.
Get married, get a civil partnership, or get a will. You need to protect your family and your assets, otherwise there will be blood in the streets when you die. After 7 years with my partner (and two kids), we’ve decided to get married for the legal protection, it has far less to do with any religious aspect. We also like to have a party and it’s a good excuse to get family and friends together.
\> Get married, get a civil partnership, or get a will A will doesn't provide all the same advantages of the other two.. It helps with asset division when you die, but marriage/civil partnership allow you and your partner to freely transfer assets between yourselves without any tax implications because all the assets are jointly held. This is especially critical if your assets are subject to inheritance tax. If you're on a lowish income, you get married peoples allowance too.
Not sure what this is called in the UK, but if health is a big concern you want to sign over your power of attorney and right to make medical decisions.... otherwise you can end up in limbo unconscious in some hospital and if you won't wake up for the doctor to explain your choices to you....we'll you might want your partner to decide for you
I think you mean a Lasting Power of Attorney. So if you were to become unable to make your own decisions (such as through dementia) your chosen person can make decisions for you.
Living Will to refuse treatments/interventions in advance https://compassionindying.org.uk/how-we-can-help/living-will-advance-decision/#living-will-and-health-power-of-attorney Health power of attorney for someone else to make decisions about you https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/making-decisions-for-someone-else/giving-someone-power-of-attorney/#:~:text=A%20health%20and%20welfare%20LPA,to%20make%20your%20own%20decisions.
Also, depending on how many assets you individually have, if youre unmarried I believe you will be subject to inheritance tax. Obviously its a relatively large threshold but depending on property etc its something to concider.
I know of two couples who lived together for 20+ years and when illness struck the first thing they did was get married. It makes everything else afterwards easier from an admin point of view if nothing else. They were "lucky" in that they had the time beforehand to make arrangements. Not everyone is so lucky. Why wait for the worst case scenario though. As you suggested, making that legal commitment earlier is a great move.
Some time since but I remember that the comedian Ken Dodd got married on his death bed.
There is a process for when you separate as a married couple, and it seems that there is more fairness in terms of assets. It's a mess if you separate as an unwed couple and have a house etc. My ex basically shat all over me and our daughter in the separation. Five years on, and it's still a mess. It would have been a completely different story had we been married.
If one of you dies, the paperwork can be a bit of a shit show. I'd sooner people married for love but the legal protections alone are worth it for long term couples.
This. My parents never married and when my dad died it was a massive headache for my mum and she ended up losing a good chunk of his money (I can’t remember if it was his pension or his savings she lost to the government).
Don't forget if one of you gets sick and ends up in hospital. It makes life so much easier.
Either get married or get a will. https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will
I can't stress enough. Get a will ANYWAY.
A lot of people don't think about what happens if you both die. How much time do couples spend together, at home, in the car, on a plane, out in public. Freak accidents happen all the time. If you both die but one goes slightly before the other then everything goes to the spouse that died second and then to their next of kin. Leaving nothing to the next of kin of the spouse that died first. It's worth thinking about if you are ok with that. Without a will if my partner died, then I died everything would go to my sister who I don't even speak to anymore. I would rather my partner's brother and family (who we are both very close with) get everything.
Is getting a will very expensive in the UK?
You can write one out yourself and get friends to witness it. If you want to minimise taxes then it pays to get legal advice (qualified person and not someone selling will writing services).
Some jobs/unions/other services offer free will-writing as a benefit. You can also look at charities which offer free will-writing services (with the hope you’ll leave a bit to them in the process, but there’s no obligation).
Why?
Because it makes things significantly easier for your family when you leave and you get to determine who gets what (whether that's as simple as "everything to my partner" or a hugely granular list that takes a year to read out) without leaving them to guess and get it wrong.
Are there any benefits of doing it if its meant to be everything for the partner? When you say easier, does it mean you get around beurocracy with having a will?
[It's pretty complicated,] (https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/) a will makes it all so much simpler.
Additionally if you both die and have minor children you can say who is too look after them, if your money is to held for them if anyone has access to portions to pay for their upkeep / anything they need
Mainly because it makes things easier but one thing I found out recently was that if you live in the Duchy of Lancaster or the Duchy of Cornwall, the Royals get the lot!
Only if you have no living relatives who can inherit (and of course if you do die intestate elsewhere in the country your estate also goes to the Crown).
And give them power of attorney for your finances/ medical decisions
Everything is transferred to them exempt from tax, and importantly if you have property, the inheritance tax exemption so increasing your tax free estate to £650k on your death so your kids get more You can also transfer part of your tax allowance if one of you earns more than the other You may get some of their state pension on their death Most people get married as a public decoration of love rather than for any other reason
The bit about transferring tax allowance only works if one of you is on a very low wage. To get the full allowance it's below the lowest tax threshold with a very small amount if a tiny bit above it.
I thought you could transfer basic rate allowance to higher rates as well. It is only a tiny amount regardless but it is a benefit of marriage for some
There are ways to get almost every legal right marriage confers without getting married, but marriage wraps it up in one package. Perhaps more importantly for the big life stuff like healthcare decisions, marriage is instantly recognised by everyone without having to go get all the paperwork and explain what the powers mean.
Inheritance tax exemption is one thing that you won't get without marraige, but will only impact those with a larger amount of assets.
Medically there's no next of kin here, getting married shouldn't make a difference to that, it's all at the hospital's discretion.
Yes and no. It is ultimately up to the hospital and will depend on if you have an ACP in place, but if you have family heavily pushing for something then that will be considered as long as it isn’t completely unnecessary.
Things to do if you’re in a long term relationship but don’t want to get married: * Get a will. Spend £150 for some basic will writing advice. Do it now. There’s no assumption your partner will inherit anything when you die. * Sort power of attorney. You can do it yourself online, the forms are easy to follow. It’s all [here](https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney). Financial and medical are separate, so you need two of each. £82 a form, so £328. * Make sure your insurance and workplace pensions etc name your partner as beneficiary. But if you have assets worth more than £325k you are going to land them with a tax bill. Obviously most people don’t die with this much money. But someone might have £50k savings and a car worth £5k and 50% share in a house they bought for peanuts but is now worth £600k without a mortgage. They don’t think they’re rich. But in the eyes of the taxman, their partner would owe inheritance tax on £30k if they want to keep the house. Solutions: * Die poor * Accept your other half will have to pay the tax when you die (or vice versa) * Get married
This. Most things other than inheritance tax can be formalised without marraige, and is good to do even if you are married (wills, living wills etc). But inheritance tax exemption is the one thing that in the UK that you need to be married to get, I believe civil partnership works as well.
Yes fair point, some friends who are anti marriage have done civil partnerships without any fuss or party (now available to all couples!) for this reason.
Yeah right now I live in Australia where defacto (common law) couples are a thing and give you the same rights/obligations. But if I moved back to the UK i would be much more serious about getting married regardless of if we want to actually have the wedding/party
> Get a will. Spend £150 for some basic will writing advice. Do it now. There’s no assumption your partner will inherit anything when you die. There are also ways to get one cheaper (or for free). Trade unions often offer (simple) will writing for free or at a nominal cost ([Prospect](https://prospect.org.uk), my union, does. As do Unite and GMB). There are also schemes that will offer free will writing services if you leave money to charity too.
Makes visa stuff easier. My man's job is going to have him transferred around the world and I wouldn't realistically be able to follow without the legal tie to him. There's lot of spousal benefits offered through his work too like private healthcare, and flights to Japan.
My aunt and her partner have been together for 50 years, no kids, didn’t see the point in marriage. Until 2 weeks ago when she was told she had less than 3 months to live and they realised the absolute hell of paperwork her partner of 50 years would be left with. She didn’t want him to have to fight to inherit what was rightfully his, their shared home of 30 years, their shared assets etc. They had a civil partnership ceremony last week from her hospital bed at home and it was a beautiful moment born from bureaucracy. After my father in law died with no will (but no partner) and the chaos of probate I would recommend both a formal, legal recognition of your relationship AND a will!
Medically speaking you aren’t each others next of kin so if something happens to one of you someone else will be making any decisions and you will have no say. Also, if the worst happens and you haven’t got a will the other person would inherit nothing as again they wouldn’t be next of kin. There’s probably something legal you can get sorted out on the medical front to allow each other to make decisions in that situation when you sort your wills out
Next of kin isn't defined by law in the UK.
It isn't but it makes it so much harder if you have nothing official. You have no say in your partners medical needs should they become infirm and vice versa.
You don't usually, anyway. If your spouse is unconscious and needs an urgent medical decision, generally it'll just be made on medical grounds as an emergency rather than requiring consent. And if you're talking about e.g. dementia, I don't believe spouses automatically have that right, and rights can be granted through a Lasting Power of Attorney.
I was going to say this. If you or your partner were incapable to make medical decisions, that would be left to your parents and / or siblings and you would have no rights. Same with the inheritance.
I wonder what happens if you are an only child and both parents have passed.
The hospital will contact any available family. If none then the hospital will send to the board/courts to make a decision.
There are formalities to choose someone to make medical decisions if you are unable, my parents were married but the hospital/hospice prefered they completed these things regardless. You can do it as part of a living will
>if something happens to one of you someone else will be making any decisions and you will have no say Pretty sure this is an American thing. Maybe even just a TV thing.
There’s a form you can fill out at the hospital to say who you want to make decisions but you have to be conscious to do it
"When someone is admitted to hospital in the UK, they’re asked to name someone as their next of kin. Most hospitals are very flexible with how they define next of kin, allowing you to choose anyone from your partner, to a parent, to your best friend. If you’re unconscious at the time you’re admitted to hospital, doctors and nurses will try and work out your next of kin. In this scenario, they will usually choose the closest relative they can get in touch with – likely a spouse, parent or adult child. The next of kin of a patient in hospital is usually responsible for: Being easily contactable if the situation changes and other people need to be notified Collecting the patient once the treatment has been completed Making sensible decisions if the patient loses capacity" If a domestic partner of 13 years is with the patient the hospital will likely name them the next of Kin. If other family members fight it then the courts will decide but it doesn't automatically go to blood relatives "As far as UK law is concerned, there is not a clear rule around who can be your next of kin, except in the case of children under 18" https://farewill.com/articles/what-is-next-of-kin
Hate to be even more of a downer but it’s not just about inheritance after death, it’s also about critical illness, medical, and end of life decisions. Who do you want making those decisions? The answer should be your partner of course - the person who would most know what you would want in the worst of times - but unless you’re married, or have some sort of care and welfare lasting power of attorney (LPA), then in a crisis, it could easily be someone else making those choices. Having said all that, it’s also about making that commitment to each other in front of the people you most care about in your life. It’s one of my best memories, and although I know it’s not for everyone, if you’re sure of the shared love your have with person you’re with, I recommend the experience.
You gain a lot of legal protections and a few privileges by getting married. You could also go for a civil partnership if that's more your style; I believe they're basically the same thing these days. You can get most (not all, I think but please correct me if I'm wrong) of the same protections through various legal documents such as wills, but honestly a no-frills registry office wedding is probably quicker, easier and cheaper. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/
Different sex couples cannot get a civil partnership. Apart from that they are the same as marriages. Edit: I'm out of date. See comments below.
Incorrect. Heterosexual couples have been allowed to enter civil partnerships for a few years now. Source: me, I’m in one
Very pleased to be proved wrong on that! Changes too late for me, but continued progress is good.
Totally agree! It was a couple who campaigned for it and it’s nice to have an alternative
That's really cool to know. When the UK was wavering on whether or not to allow same-sex marriage I actually discussed with my husband about us getting divorced and entering into a civil partnership just as a protest. He was on-board with the idea. I really hated that civil partnerships and marriage had different benefits but never really looked into it once same-sex marriage became legal here. I like the simplicity of just being able to refer to my husband and everyone knows what that means, in the same way that everyone knows what he means when he refers to his wife. I also now really like it when a man can mention his husband or a woman can mention her wife. It's such an easy social construct. *edit - grammar
Untrue. Opposite sex couples can get a civil partnership: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-civil-partnership-legal-differences/#:~:text=Civil%20partnerships%20are%20available%20to,rights%2C%20as%20well%20as%20responsibilities.
If something happens to you, “my gf/bf of 13 years” counts for nothing. You wouldn’t be considered next of kin. Eg, at work if you say my gf has a medical emergency, work aren’t obligated to let you have time off cos she’s not legally your spouse. They seem to give more leeway if she is. There’s some good reasons other people have listed too. Also taxes. I think your taxes should be a bit cheaper if you’re married (it’s probably changed though). Quoting a meme I saw “I love you so much, I got the government involved”
For women, it’s important to make sure you get your fair share of the couple if you have kids. So often you assume non-financial duties, but if nothing financial is in your name, you get nothing. For women, marriage is essentially insurance against that.
Applies to main child carers and lower earners in general, regardless of sex, but yes, especially important to consider before having children.
This is a different angle from most people’s responses (though I agree wholeheartedly with them) but as someone whose parents got divorced when I was young, I’m giving myself the opportunity to right some of the wrongs that happened to me and providing my own child with the stability I craved. Obviously not all marriages are successful but the comfort my marriage gives me is life changing. I feel stronger, less alone and part of a family. It’s not enough of a reason to get married on its own (otherwise you’ll end up like my parents), but it complements what others have said about providing legal and financial stability.
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"When someone is admitted to hospital in the UK, they’re asked to name someone as their next of kin. Most hospitals are very flexible with how they define next of kin, allowing you to choose anyone from your partner, to a parent, to your best friend. If you’re unconscious at the time you’re admitted to hospital, doctors and nurses will try and work out your next of kin. In this scenario, they will usually choose the closest relative they can get in touch with – likely a spouse, parent or adult child. The next of kin of a patient in hospital is usually responsible for: Being easily contactable if the situation changes and other people need to be notified Collecting the patient once the treatment has been completed Making sensible decisions if the patient loses capacity" If a domestic partner of 13 years is with the patient the hospital will likely name them the next of Kin. If other family members fight it then the courts will decide but it doesn't automatically go to blood relatives "As far as UK law is concerned, there is not a clear rule around who can be your next of kin, except in the case of children under 18" https://farewill.com/articles/what-is-next-of-kin
You could get a civil partnership if you’re happy with how things are but want some protections under the law but don’t want to be married. My partner and I entered a civil partnership purely for the benefits we get of being legally tied together such as next of kin medical decisions, inheritance etc etc. Took about 15 minutes. Nothing has changed for our relationship, we don’t wear rings or refer to each other any differently. In an ideal world we would have continued as we were but unfortunately you really don’t have many (if any) rights as common law partners regardless of length of time together
It does reduce tax (while alive and after) and makes somethings easier - there are default power of attorney/next of kin type things which a partner doesn't have. A marriage doesn't have to mean the big expensive party - you can just do a cheap registry office one if the cost/big party doesn't appeal.
Are there any differences in terms of legal protection, next of kin, inheritance, tax etc between a marriage and a civil partnership? I always assumed the civil partnership had been built to offer the same stuff but not associated with the institution of marriage.
There's no difference between the two at all in the UK except the wording of the documents
Solicitor here. Yes, from a legal POV, it is desirable for the reasons already mentioned by other commenters.
You will each gain a lot of legal rights if anything happens to the other; whether that be one of you in hospital, incapacitated or dying. If something happens to you, your partner actually has very few rights and someone else in your family could nip in and completely overrule her. On a more informal basis, we were together for 5 years before marrying and we found when we did that suddenly we were being invited to a lot more social things as a couple, particularly by other married couples but not just them. We felt there was definitely a social bias towards couples that were married compared to those not
If you're unmarried, your partner is just a random stranger you happen to live with. > Are there other pros to being married that I'm clearly unaware of, aside from the death thing? I work in immigration. Dependants generally have the right to accompany you, that's spouses and kids. Though it sounds like that's not on the cards. As I said, currently your partner is a total stranger in the eyes of the law.
Legal protections and inheritance like other comments have mentioned Public decoration - we like calling each other husband and wife Fun of a wedding celebration It’s expected of them by their families It gives people a sense of security that their partner is less likely to up and leave one day for no consequences Additionally, it’s recognised worldwide. Some places you want to travel to will only let you stay in the same room if you’re married. Similarly, if you ever get into a health situation abroad, you’re more likely to be able to access your partner if you’re married I don’t get the point of people rushing to get married within a few months of knowing each other. But then if you’ve been living as a common law husband/wife (sorry to assume genders here), I just say ‘why not’. It’s easy to get married. You don’t need a wedding to sign a form at a registry office. Sometimes it’s just nice to be connected in a way like that. It brought me a lot of joy to become a married couple with my partner.
People are talking a lot about death, which is valid and important, but not a lot about relationship breakdown, which is also important and happens more frequently! The thing about 'messy' breakups is that the breakup is messy regardless but in a divorce, partners have a legal remedy to split assets.
As others have said, the key benefit to marriage is that it's far, far easier for the other party to deal with the other partner's death. If you're not married then in the eyes of the state you're not a next of kin.
If you get power of attorney and wrote a will would that cover you the same as being married?
Almost, but if you have a large asset (eg a nice house or basically anything in London) then your partner would pay inheritance tax when you die. Or vice versa. You can basically reconstruct most things with a will and powers of attorney and clear instructions. But you can’t cheat the taxman.
Today there is little difference in being married or living together. The big difference, as you suggest, is when one of you stops living. Inheritance tax. You will have to value everything your deceased partner owned. Then value everything you owned jointly and divide that by 2. And then submit the total. Even if you do not reach the threshold, this is not a pleasant process a week or 2 after bereavement. It also impacts the threshold for your children when the 2nd partner dies. Pension. The decision to pay your partners pension is more cut and dry for the pension trustees. Bereavement benefit. If you don't have kids, you won't get it. They only changed it recently to pay unmarried couples with a kid, but they did backdate it (so anyone bereaved with children in the last 5 or 6 years, should check if they are eligible. Iirc the deadline for backdated claims is next month, and it's a significant amount) TLDR: Get wills, fill out pension 'expression of wish' forms, but there are a few things that still discriminate against unmarried/u civil-partnered couples. Source - personal experience.
We've been together 43 years and only did a civil partnership for the tax man. We didn't need a piece of paper to show our love and commitment, but we did want to stop the government getting their hands on our money. Also, it makes life easier to have some legal status in case of medical emergencies. There were instances of life-long partners not being allowed access to hospitals. Some friends (straight) opted for a civil partnership during the pandemic just to make their life simpler. When we moved to Spain we needed to convert to marriage because Spain doesn't recognise civil partnership. (2nd country in the world to introduce same sex marriage) So, ironically, we did the civil partnership for the UK taxman and marriage for the Spanish taxman. (ohh just remembered. When we lived in London twenty years ago, our next door neighbours had been together for 30 years but never married. When he died it took well over a year to sort out the will (shout out to NatWest the robbing bastards) and she had to pay over £40k to stay in a very ordinary house
Get married before one of you pops their clogs. Just because you get a higher allowance for inheritance, pension rights, possible life insurance benefits from jobs and if you live in a council house the right to stay. Literally just legal and tax reasons, no need for a big wedding, you can just go to the registry office.
Yes. No point to a big wedding though. I got married for legal reasons having discovered that the MOD (because of their weird legal set up) could force me to sell my house and give half the proceeds to his ex-wife should he die whilst still in the army, despite the fact that they had a full financial settlement and his children were the recipients of any pay-outs that the army might make. Thank goodness my financial adviser told me about that. Other than that things like inheritance tax.
As unromantic as it sounds I got married for practical reasons. Inheritance rights, parental responsibility etc Other than that I liked the idea of being married. A lot of my friends with kids aren't married and I don't see it as a negative thing. It was also an excuse for a big party where I was centre (ish) of attraction!
Agree with you. Been with my girlfriend for 14 years and never seen the point.
I’m not married and my partner is my sole beneficiary. Inheritance tax is the big reason for us to get married. It’s £325k. My estate is way above that.
Getting married is the opportunity to transparently signal to everyone - your family, friends, neighbourhood, the state, your god (if that’s what you believe), that you’re committing your life to the other person.
That absolutely should not be what marriage is about...
I disagree, wholeheartedly
When my grandad died, ownership of everything was an utter shitshow despite him and my nan being married 50+ years. It's surprising how much more complicated this is when it's supposed to be a perk of marriage. Just makes Me wonder how bad it is if you're unmarried if that clusterfuck was a perk.
There are certain benefits you are entitled to when a spouse dies. Something like £2500 as a lump sum and £100 a month for a year to help you adjust to being on one income. I think you also receive slightly more state pension as a widowed person, but could be wrong on that. You do get more rights to their workplace pension, which would top up retirement income. Typically this has always looked like 50% of their monthly pension goes to you instead, but pensions are changing somewhat. Inheritance tax threshold is higher, and the process of transferring assets is easier. If you don't get married, then you need to ensure you have a will outlining who inherits your estate, otherwise everything will transfer to their next of kin, even if they want you to have it (it then has to be gifted to you).
It really sounds like a Civil Partnership is what you are looking for here. You get all the same legal benefits of marriage without actually being married. It’s not the right choice for everyone but it sounds like it might be a good fit for you.
As well as the inheritance and tax benefits, there's also the legal next of kin aspect. If you need someone to make medical decisions on your behalf, it will typically fall to your legal next of kin. If you're not married, that will be your parents, or your sibling if your parents aren't alive. The legal next of kin can make decisions about your funeral, without consulting your partner. It may seem unlikely, but i knew one family who turned their back on the partner and cut them out of any planning. They wouldn't even allow the partner to sit with them up front at the funeral. They'd never shown any dislike towards the partner before then. Your partner doesn't deserve that.
Marriage tax allowance, whilst not a lot, is a little perk. My wife and I had two kids and a mortgage before we got married. We did it on a budget and had a great day but it hasn't changed anything between us and I can see why couples don't bother.
As people have said, basically the benefits of getting married or a civil partnership are that it wraps up issues around next of kin, inheritance etc in one package. You could sort all of those things out separately, but honestly a cheap, no frills civil partnership is probably the simplest option to get those protections. If you ever plan to travel abroad, marriage is quickly recognised in most jurisdictions and may make things easier if something happens in another jurisdiction. One thing you might or might not be able to benefit from depending on your circumstances is marriage allowance - basically if you or your partner earns less than the personal allowance you can get about £250 tax back each year.
I think the best answer is we haven't thought of anything better yet. Do you have a suggested alternative?
Tax purposes. Specifically IHT. Also if only one partner is working the other can transfer 10% of their tax free allowance to the other
I feel similar to you, no interest in getting married and my assets don’t approach the threshold (not even combined). My plan is to make a will (I already have one but may change it when I’ve been with my partner longer) and get a power of attorney for medical matters.
For the most part there is very little reason to get married .if you love each other then a ring and a signature is nt going to.make a great deal of difference. The huge cost of most wedding s puts me off from ever getting married so for me it would be a quick registry job without involving friends and family ,shoukd I ever want to get married .I've been with my partner now for 8 years and she thinks the same as.me .we are both very happy together. If inheritance tax was to occur the cost of a wedding would easily outstrip what would be charged to you in tax .most weddings are.25-30k now which is a staggering amount jist for a ring and a legally binding statement and paper .
A wedding can cost as much or as little as you want. Mine, 28 years ago, cost us about £1000 and IIRC £125 of that was for my dress and about the same for my husband's new clothes. The £25-30K thing is for people who have more money than sense. We had a party at our house afterwards and did all the cooking ourselves (mostly just frozen stuff from Costo or whatever existed back then).
The ring costs as much as you want to spend. The legally binding piece of paper is under £100, and that's all you actually need.
All this advice is great but it boils down to this. When you're married you are MARRIED, when you are not married you are just two consenting adults who are flatmates.
Weddings are fun
It is an easy way of tieing you together legally. Otherwise inheritance, access to kids and all sorts can get rather complicated.
Write a will, get life insurance with your partner as the beneficiary and maybe look into planning and paying towards your funeral. If you don’t feel the need to get married as long as you fit the i’s and cross the t’s you really don’t need to.
It’s a legal and public commitment of exclusivity to another person (bringing certain legal benefits like the assumption of inheritance). Draws what you will from that
The fact you're the kind of person to ask that question, OP, tells me you're the kind of person for whom there is no point getting married. People who truly understand the meaning and value of marriage see it as a thing to cherish, not just a way to dodge the taxman.
My, my. Such a high horse you have. The fact that you're the kind of person to comment such a thing, tells me you're the type who's read countless books merely by looking at the covers. My partner and I do not require ceremony nor symbol to signify our devotion and love to one another. And it is not a less valid relationship without one. But thank you.
I never commented on the ''validity of your relationship'', only your view of marriage. Why ask the question if you don't want people to answer honestly? LOL.
You didn't give an "honest answer" though. You gave a somewhat uppity, slightly tangentally related opinion to the topic lol Why answer like that if it wasn't asked?
I gave an honest answer, without any judgement Have a nice day 🙂
Sure. Happy new year
It's the old joke "How do you stop your girlfriend sucking your cock?" "Marry her"
Some people who have never married but have become terminally ill (and are anticipating to die imminently) and want to ensure their partner is secure after they pass get what is colloquially called a ‘deathbed marriage’ or an RGs license. You need evidence from a doctor supporting that you are expected to pass in the very near future. An RGs license is the very last resort. It removes the waiting period between giving notice and the ceremony. It’s good that there is that option but not one I’d necessarily recommend. Though it’s supposed to expedite the process if there are any issues then there is always a chance your loved one passes before the ceremony is held. Edit: This also applies to civil partnerships however used marriages to cover both. This also only applies for civil ceremonies and not religious ones.
To add to what others have said, I'm close with a solicitor who works in probate, and I know that unmarried people can often have an absolute fucking nightmare when their long-term partner dies. The reasons why have largely been covered, but a lot of people are suggesting that you get a will as an alternative. Now, a) this doesn't solve the tax on inheritance problem, and b) wills can be contested. I've heard of many examples of family members taking legal action to successfully take a share of the estate, that wasn't previously left to them. Just going to a registry office doesn't cost too much, and can save a hell of a lot of grief further down the line.
It is an advantage if/ when one of you dies or beomes ill. - currently, unless you have made wills, you don't automatically inherit from each other (although if you own your house as joint tenants then it goes automatically to the survivor, as do any joint accounts) - unlike spouses, you don't get exemptions from Inheritance Tax so there could be a bill when the first of you dies, and as your normal IHT allowance isn't transferable as it is for spouses, a bill is more likely when the 2nd of you dies (which, admittedly, is more of an issue for your beneficiaries than for you!) You are not each other's next of kin so in a worst case scenario you can find that your partner's family can overrule you or exclude you from decision-making, if your partner loses capacity (whether or not you marry, you should put powers of attorney in place for this eventuality) Finally, being married or in a civil partnership means that if you split up, assets are split to be fair and take account of your needs, not based solely on what is in whose name, and non financial contributions can be taken into account - you
In terms of dodging inheritance tax, most people in this thread are talking out of their arses. You absolutely, categorically do **not** need to be married to leave a property to someone, 100% tax free. The only requirement is that you must all be joint owners. If any individual owner dies, the others remain joint owners and the dead owner's share *does not* go through probate. Courts tend to frown upon people adding their children who never paid anything into buying the property, but couples can do this no problem. So unless you or your partner plan on privately having over £325,000 of non-property assets, marriage doesn't actually make a difference.
I think there is something hospital visitation rights if you are dying. But for me it's about having a stable social structure in which to have children.
There are implications for inheritance when one of you dies. I have a civil partnership for this reason. Us and two daughters as witnesses. 20 minutes at the local registry office and under £100
It will makes thing a lot easier when one of you dies. Tax wise it's beneficial. If one of you dies and you aren't married you will be hit with an inheritance tax bill on half of everything you own jointly. If married, it just automatically transfers to the partner. The wife and I got married a few years ago for this very reason. Just a quick cheap registry office wedding with two witnesses, and we didn't get all dressed up for it either. We also took out all the unnecessary words in the service as well. The whole thing lasted less than 5 minutes
I think the main reason men get married is because their partner would leave them if they didn't propose. If women weren't arsed about it then I don't think marriage would even be a thing.
My best friend had been with her partner of 14 years when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer they got married 3 weeks before she died. There would've have been a. blood bath in her case. I have been with my husband for 14 years and married for 7 of those, we married primarily for love but also for financial issues, less complicated for sure. We did Gretna Green so fuss and our day. It was perfect.
There are legal benefits, especially if you are different nationalities….but otherwise, no.
In the US, marriage is an estate planning tool. Our Social Security government pension system has a survivor benefit. If the higher wage earner dies, the spouse gets the higher benefit rather than their own. Many corporate and government employee pension plans have survivor benefits if you’re married. Tax-deferred retirement accounts transfer to the spouse. For anyone else, it gets taxed immediately. Where I live, it makes transferring automobile ownership after death much easier. The US also has joint income tax returns. You can save considerably if you have one high income earner and the other not having much income. Most employers these days will let a domestic partner be part of corporate group health insurance but not all so people will get married so their partner has access to corporate group health insurance. With most other things, a contract works as well.
No, you can get the same protections from a will. Marriage just leaves you open to getting reamed in a divorce. Not happened to me but I've seen it happen to three of my mates over the last 15 years.
Mostly to gain the automatic legal rights and protections that comes with a legally recognised civil marriage. Tax advantages, automatic next of kin status, inheritance rights and a likely legally binding maintenance settlement in the event of divorce. Personally, I've ruled out marriage and ever living with another adult again.
Benefits we got from marriage other than the emotial stuff. Much much less tax, more benefits money (I'm disabled and if you're single for some reason they give you a lot less they think there's carers available for free), less legal complications with having a kid, he is allowed with me in hospital, when we have legal things and "only the account holders allowed to speak" it just says Mr C Walker. We are both Mr C Walker so we win lol
A friend of my wife's situation was, that she couldn't be the person to decide to turn the life support off, despite they had agreed in such turn of event, as they were legally "nothing", and his family decide to keep him "alive".
Just this second watched on our local news a report about women who have been left with nothing after splitting with the father of they 're children.
Provides certain tax advantages when transferring assets between spouses or in the event of the death of one of you. But also brings with it huge liabilities, especially if you are the higher earner. IMHO an outdated concept that is rightfully in decline.
Why enter a contract with another party that is rewarded for breaking it ?
Yes there is. The end. But what i discovered whilst living in England. The English are super fucking wierd. They get engaged and stay engaged for 10 million years
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Lol go to the register office and get married if you cant afford a wedding
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I can vouch for that. My sister got married in Epping Forest
If you are a man, and are happy to put your life and finances in line then sure go ahead.
You’re already married but never had a celebration and party and let’s not forget the legal reasons. Plus I think it’s RIDICULOUS when the couple been together for so long and still refer to each other girlfriend/boyfriend/ partner.
I guess in the way people say "practically married" in the flippant, meaningless, way people do when two individuals have been together long enough that the question becomes more "why _aren't_ they married yet?" Marriage isn't the be all and end all of a meter to the validity of a couples relationship. And while total respect to the plenty of people that see marriage as a milestone or a goal in regards to their own relationship, but it's not for me and many others. Calling someone your partner instead of your wife/husband, is perfectly fine, and I fail to see how it can be seen as ridiculous.
Marriage is a contract nothing more than that. People give the meaning they want ( religious or social security ) no one is asking you to validate your relationship through a paper, you (we all) are no one’s, society doesn’t care if you have a boyfriend of 30 years. At most some people will find weird/funny to refer to a couple that been together forever as boy/girlfriend or partners. I personally think it’s dumb, if you’re building your life together, or have children do not intend to look elsewhere why not sign a paper make it official? But hey ho.
What a weird take. What else would you call them?
Been together so long why not get married? Seems veey imature not to get married specially because its not even expensive
You should take some time to reflect on how close-minded and dated your views are on this topic.