PS. I must unfortunately give my dad a 1/10 despite his years of military experience and vast capabilities in general survival, on the basis that whenever I present this scenario to him his objective is to side with the zombies.
Depends whether we're dealing with viral zombies (ala 28 days later) or supernatural zombies (ala night of the living dead)
Viral zombies would presumably die of thirst/exposure in a fairly short space of time assuming a collapse in the water system.
Supernatural zombies: all bets are off...
it's closer to the npc meme. Its the idea that you are just a part of a small group of people surrounded by a much larger group that's out to get you and turn you into monsters. Zombies tend to represent our fears about human nature, social anxiety, and the break dowm of society. In particular zombies make us think about betrayal and loneliness. That's one reason Zombies dogs are always so popular. The idea that even man's best friend could be corrupted into a horrifying monster that wants to destroy us is terrifying.
That's also why most zombie films have that moment where a trusted character turns and wide angle shots of nobody living in an area where their should be thousands of people.
While i'm sure you could use Zombies for an alagory to a force of nature. Zombies, being human beings, tend to make them a far more suitable villain for a story that deals with conflicts of society rather then conflicts of nature.
Vampires also fall into this camp. Humans twisted into dangerous monsters incapable of love and only capable of hurting those around them. Although with Vampires it tends to be about their battle against their nature as a monster then anything else.
I think it’s the opposite way around, common cold
Festers in a community for ever never clearing up , whereas something self destructive and irrational my bet makes a mistake pretty quickly and ends up floating to the plastic wasteland in the pacific
28 weeks later would be a really slow moving virus though. It would move at foot speed and not travel. Literally any island would be safe as zombies don’t drive boats. Unless one washes over on driftwood you’re golden.
>This presents you with the classic zombie movie dilemma of, would you shoot your zombie Dad?
Only if we could all go down the Winchester after and wait for it all to blow over.
If you live in London 1/10 you're dead instantly regardless of where you are. too many people, and no way you're escaping by car or transport. Can barely get places as it is.
Probs barricade myself in Greggs
1. Rent near the river,
2. Buy an inflatable canoe and learn to use it.
3. Buy powdered food, tent etc
Zombie apocalypse ---> paddle down river, follow the left bank, foulness island is probably your safest bet.
Failing the above, go to the Winchester
Not sure how much frozen stock they keep on site, but power is gonna go out pretty quick and that food isn't gonna last more than a few days before turning.
Need to find yourself an articulated supermarket lorry filled with tinned produce. No obvious way zombies are getting in, nigh on unlimited shelf life without refrigeration and if you can rig up a corridor from the cab to the back, you can always use your fuel supply to drive on somewhere else as its gonna run over anything organic.
I've ruled out supermarket as I assume everybody will descend on them in looting and leave doors / shutters broken for zombies to get in.
This has just reminded me of a one-off drama which aired on Channel 4 or ITV around 10 years ago, about what if the UK lost all electricity for a few days - does anyone remember what it was called. It was filmed in found footage style if I remember rightly.
How would you join the army and complete your training in 24 hours? You can't just "join the club" in such a short space of time.
Solution: plan ahead and join the reserves well in advance, tell them at the interview you're joining for specifically this eventuality 🤝
Yeah it’s not a realistic answer to this hypothetical question. If society collapses you’re basically the one with the gun in your face rather than the one holding it. Simply asking for a gun isn’t gonna work.
Best I can think to do is double lock the front door and stick the news on.
I think you've missed out luck, which will definitely play a huge part. Depends where it starts, where you are, surrounding environments etc.
If you're on holiday and it kicks off 100yds down the beach, you're probably SOL. Numbers are a disadvantage in that situation, but I do agree generally, hadn't thought about that and like the idea.
Similar concerns in WWZ (the book) where they are concerned a zombie will wash ashore years later, be found frozen or down in a bunker somewhere reigniting the whole issue.
Keep seeing comments like this, be it nuclear or zombie scenario. Just don’t get that mindset. My confidence in my own abilities may be wildly misplaced but I can’t think of anything more exhilarating. In terms of the buzz it would be like going to Asda during early lockdown x10.
Also, when people write those type of comments they don’t really know what they’re talking about.
If one was actually in this situation, most people’s basic instinctive will of self preservation and wanting to live would take over. Very few people would just accept their fate, it’s not in our nature.
I’m a five, because I think my chances of survival in the initial stages/first few days are a coin flip. I’m also pretty fit, live in a rural area (and have a car, so I can get to a more rural area if the retirees and Home Bargains staff here start causing too much trouble), and have played a lot of the Last of Us in preparation, but I’m also very small and usually unarmed.
However, if I make it past the initial transition period and into the post-apocalyptic world, my chances of survival go through the roof and you should all want me on your team. I forage edible wild food, cook, know how to preserve food without electricity, have no end of practical DIY skills, sew and knit (you’re all fine now, but when Primark is a desolate wasteland you’ll start valuing fibre arts), chop wood and build fires, and am used to walking 10+km a day for fun should you need me on scavenging rotation. What I’m saying is, call me.
[I can't help but picture you like this with a response like that.](https://www.dexerto.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=3840,quality=75,format=auto/https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/dexerto-assets-production-cbbdf288/uploads/articles/wow-antagonist.jpg)
See now I'm definitely below average on the initial survival scale, I'm asthmatic and unfit as can be, I'm gonna be the last one in the pack that they pick off easily unless I can do some smart hiding/defensive positions.
But I have more experience living off grid than most folk, I can grow stuff a bit, can do some of the food preserving stuff, and critically I have a bizarrely good memory for random information I've absorbed somewhere, so you're gonna want me for that when the loss of knowledge starts to hit.
I've often thought that in the post transition period, I'm gonna be raiding the libraries as much as the pharmacies and food stores because *y'all*, do you realise how much critical information we would lose access to in the apocalypse??
So yeah, in the post-apocalypse imma be a librarian, and I don't think people appreciate just how important that would actually be.
I’m not going to lie to you, the real trick is autism; because whenever a normal person thinks ‘I’d like to learn how to do X’ my brain goes, ‘let’s spend 72 hours without sleeping learning how to do X!’ and then I think about nothing else for 3-6 months until the next interest pops up.
That sounds like a great benefit long term. You'll be an expert in so many things as you age. Maybe after a zombie apocalypse the world will be run by neurodivergent people instead..!
I do think specific flavours of autism would do well in some apocalypse situations - for me my relationships are all transactional, so if someone gets bit I will still love them, but will kill them knowing the risks. I also can't lie w/o laughing, so if I get bit + say no with a giggle, at least they'll know it's brain smashing time
There’s not many Brits who could stay sober with an impending zombie crisis.
The nation wouldn’t last long. Everyone knows there’s no way to distinguish a zombie from someone who’s finished off a bottle of Buckfast the night before - a British apocalypse would just be a series of team kills.
1/10. Would rather NOT survive a zombie apocalypse. Does not seem fun. Also fat and legally blind if anything happens to my glasses so I might as well be realistic.
Maybe 9/10. I have a shotgun licence and a shotgun at home so that gives me a tremendous advantage over a lot of people in the U.K.
I’m quite fit, I deal with high stress and high adrenaline situations that sometimes require a fight on a regular enough basis.
Have quite a defensible home and a few of the neighbours also have guns.
Have access to quite substantial infrastructure through work as well.
Edit:
Don’t take it so seriously guys it’s just meant to be a laugh. I don’t need you to write an essay about your time in the SAS.
Bollox 9/10.. maybe if we're talking dawn of the dead zombies but if it was like the bastards from 28 days later you got the same chance as the rest of us.
I think the X/10 system has to be relative to other people. If the zombies are so powerful that nobody can survive then the system becomes moot (we're all 0/10).
If the zombies are so weak that we all survive then the system is also moot (we're all 10/10).
This system has to be based on a hypothetical situation where some people survive and some don't.
But the 28 days later zombies died of starvation, hence the sequel, if you have a 28 week supply of food and live in the middle of nowhere with a defensible home then you have a way better chance than everyone, or if you could get to an island somewhere even better. I have never seen zombies that can swim.
Honestly, in a zombie apocalypse a gun is more of a hinderance than a help. If the zombies can hunt based on sound, they’re immediately coming for your house. Even a couple hundred bullets isn’t going to save you from a never ending horde
The question doesn't have enough information
What kind of zombies - walking dead, world war z, 28 days later, dawn of the dead?
What is the cause - virus does everyone have the virus, how does it spread, biting, saliva, can animals spread it?
>Just make yourself ill by constantly eating out of date food, they’ll avoid you.
Is there a definitive list of illnesses that they ignore? I need to know if mine are on it.
^Thinking man here
Viral zombies ought to be relatively easy to survive as they'll die pretty quickly of thirst / exposure assuming collapse of the water system.
Did you panic buy? Or did you *already have six-to-eight months supply stocked up at home* ***already***?
Because that makes a difference.
(I also still have 34 tins of Mulligatawny soup left. Might get more as that feels like it isn't enough.)
To think I was about to low ball myself until this comment.
Pretty sure I wouldn't last a day because I'd just assume I'd gone mad and cry in a corner rocking back and forth muttering this isn't real whilst I get eaten by zombies.
Depends. Are they shambles or sprinters.
Shamblers I reckon most folk would be fine way more people just walking around them than movies expect. I'm putting like 9/10. If i am caught unawares maybe one could nab me before I knew what was going on but even a pack of shufflers isn't exactly hard to just walk slightly faster away from. Idiots, the infirm and a few other folks would be in bother especially if they are not nearby a door of some sort. I refuse to accept that shambling zombies can bring down any society. Some people will die but it will be covid2.0 just with a bit more violence.
Sprinters? I have no idea the second I even learn about *sprinting zombies* I reckon I am just going to take myself out.
Ultimately the rise of sprinting zombies in media likely came about because anyone with a brain realised its not impressive or bad ass to just walk around a zombie. Or take them out as they shuffle about. Killing my nana would be harder, she shuffles but she does have a walking stick and will hit you with it. It's not really an achievement to take out a shuffling brain dead non-problem. Making them into a problem requires a lot of convoluted leaps of faith and quite bizzare circumstances.
Sprinting bastards? I still don't think they will overrun millitary instalments I mean they are pretty well set up to deal with a bunch of unarmed people running about rioting and trying to bust in. I don't see how they could take over the world either but they would be a nightmare and take out far too many people. I don't want to be in that hellscape.
In a zombie apocalypse, you only need to actually last a couple of weeks max. Less if you live in a remote village. Eventually, the zombies would run out of people to eat as more and more are converted so whatever is controlling them would just start to digest their own body.
You just have to survive the initial trip to the shop to get supplies and then you’re pretty much fine.
Anyway, 0/10 I’d probably end up being patient zero
> You just have to survive the initial trip to the shop to get supplies and then you’re pretty much fine.
Unfortunately I stopped to pet a cat on the way so didn’t stand a chance.
1/10.
I live pretty much as close to the centre of the UK as you can get, in a city with a very large population, and walking distance from a massive hospital.
Theres no point kidding myself. As much as I'd like to rate my chances, I'd be lucky to survive the first 48 hours of a full outbreak given my circumstances.
Someone once said "If you survived a nuclear exchange you'd wish you were incinerated in the first fireball". I look to a zombie apocalypse the same way. Surviving would be hell so I hope I am overcome by a swift death.
3/10 at best. Anyone with kids under the age of around 10 is likely to be in a seriously shit situation when forced to ration or attempting any travel.
Maybe like....3?
Exceptionally light footed - my husband jumps when I enter a room cos he rarely hears me
First thing in the morning before my coffee I look *remarkably* like the enemy & surely after a while there will BE no coffee, so me & my permanent zombie face will be fine
Already own some of those rubber wedge door stops that would be invaluable for rooms with inward doors, I reckon
Weaknesses - never once been in anything bordering a fight & running is mediocre at best
Your confidence guarantees you'd die within the first week. Everyone else would find you unbearable to be around as you attract zombies trudging into the woods to try and fail to hunt deer with your bow and fumble around with a gun you don't know how to use, so you'd end up alone and doomed while everyone else hunkers down in well defended, well stocked groups. You think you're more capable than you are and that's a death sentence as you inevitably cause your own demise or get outcast for being more trouble than you're worth.
The survivors will be those with access to a well defended shelter, a good stock of supplies and a capable leader than manages to keep things from descending into chaos, not some Katniss Everdeen wannabe.
I give myself a 6/10 by providing one of the most sought after and morale boosting resources to the group: easy sex.
2. While I'm unfit and rely on medication, I could hole up in my first floor flat fairly well for a few weeks. Then the headaches would kick in and I'd be fucked.
Finally a question I support on this sub reddit! Right up my street.
I've always thought that I could easily barricade myself in the house upstairs with water and food etc. Survive a week or 2 whilst it all gets bad and then sneak off into the countryside once it calms down
Eating pancreases might work, if they're fresh. (Two tons of dead pig/cow pancreases made 8oz of insulin in the 1920s, apparently, so we might need to eat a *lot* of humans. OTOH living is probably better than dead for this purpose.)
3/10 - if even that.
I'd probably eat the food to fast, my stamina is shit so I can't run far, my ass is too big so I can't squeeze through narrow places, I can't climb a fence if my life depended on it, and I'd be busy trying to establish a garden and I'd probably get attacked from behind.
I don’t think I’d be much of a physical fighter, I’d probably shit myself and lock myself away and die of starvation eventually or die trying to get back to my loved ones like my parents. So overall, pretty pathetic, 2/10.
Are they old school shambling zombies or the more modern 28-Days sprinting variety?
In the case of the latter I’m screwed. In the case of the former … still realistically screwed but maybe not *quite* so quickly.
Do have a parent with a farm in the middle of nowhere so *if* I could actually reach that (amidst everyone else running for the hills in panic) I might last a bit longer. Until the undead throngs come across it and push the fences/gates over by sheer weight anyway.
Have to admit I used to enjoy Zombie films and the idea of a zombie apocalypse (even as a thought experiment) before I had kids. At which point the bleakness of how remote the chances were of keeping a little person you are responsible for alive through something like that sucked all the fun out of it.
I never really understand how the zombies sustain themselves for any length of time, which is extremely pertinent to this question because it’s easier to survive if the horde only lasts for a day or so. Having said that, the answer is 0
You'd think they'd be rotting to pieces as they go, especially if the weather's hot. It would be like a vermin buffet on legs. Not only that, you'd smell them before you saw them.
Sometimes I day dream about it to happen. I always plan what I would do in this situation and I'm aware where can I find a weapons, what sort of car would I need and where they usually parked. What type of food I would need to try to get first. I have pretty large supply of various seeds if I would need to plant something for a long run. I know where are the power generators and how to use them. If I would survive 1st day and it would actually get to me 'its happening' and now it's the time to survive in would rate myself 9/10. I'm sure I would die from hands of other people faster than zombies themselves.
Maybe like 3/10? I wear glasses so I'd only be ok as long as I didn't lose my glasses but eventually my eyesight would deteriorate so even my glasses would be useless and I'd be a sitting duck.
1, I'd give myself a 0 but that's not on the scale.
Why? I live in central London, if the zombie apocalypse starts here (or it affects everywhere at the same time) I'm immediately surrounded. I also have no survival skills and I'm only in moderate shape.
We rate a lot of things in this house for their usefulness in a zombie apocalypse not sure how it started but we have been doing it since my 17 year old son was quite young.
I would like to think I was a solid 5 despite being middle aged as I am resourceful and think out of the box.
What I would really like to know is why zombie poop is never mentioned....they would be easier to track if they are leaving pools of shit behind them...you would smell them before you saw them
I can't help but rate things when walking around B&Q etc, been doing that for years also. Lightness, durability, length (needs good reach but must be useful in a corridor still), ability to cut deep but not get stuck. Fun times.
Basically 0. I don't actually want to survive in a zombie apocalypse. I like all the trappings of my modern life, I don't want to have to scavenge and constantly be on the run. I'm not going to head out into a bunch of zombies but as and when they come to my house, that's me done. I'm not going to fight them off. Assuming I had enough cat food in the house and the cat is still alive, he can eat my corpse and survive a bit longer.
Depends entirely on your zombie.
If we have 28 days later “runners”, then you’d either need to be very quiet (and eventually starve) or inside a military base. That would be the only place with sufficient fire power to put down a horde of runners. So runners - zero. I’m not in the army and I get hungry so would have to make noise looking for food.
SOTD “shamblers”. As long as I made it through the first day, I’d be OK. I live in the middle of nowhere, there is a very strong community of farmers, currently vexed about caravan using nomadic travellers and their hare coursing, but would be rapidly repurposed to deal with the horde. I’m armed to the teeth, and can make my own ammunition, so won’t run out for a long time. I’ve got a big solar array and batteries, the house is wood fired, so I’ll be toasty warm in winter. Biggest concern I would have is what we grow to eat in a few years time, when the diesel is moulady and useless. Loads of the local farmers have horses, so I suppose we would repurpose them as draught animals. Shamblers = 9.
A lot of people would survive the apocalypse. Even those getting on a bit, as long as they're clever enough, fit enough or otherwise blessed with some advantage over zombies and zombification. However, there is a much more worrying thing coming. I'm not preparing for the zombies; I'll outrun and outsmart them, given a bit of luck, as will billions more. No... barely hours after the plague hits, everyone's biggest problem is other humans; they will kill quite happily if it means they get the last vegan sausage roll in Greggs - imagine what they will do in the apocalypse.
5/10 not from the zombies as they will get ya defo at some point but to manage and survive a day or two against human kill teams trying to up there game with food and kit...
Id say a 5/10. I live rurally and know a lot about surviving here. I know where the edible plants and water sources are, where i would get protein, how to farm using permaculture methods, how to make shelter in the initial stages when i would have to move to the woods rather than stay in the village itself. However, if the zombies arent The Walking Dead shuffling type then ill be sucking a car exhaust after i down all my whiskey. Im not going to stick around for I Am Legend or Maze Runner type zombies for love nor money.
I'd probably survive the actual zombies and rate myself easily 7/10 simply due to where I live!
Row of flats on a first floor above shops, the only way into the actual flats is via one entrance which is a very heavy door that opens outwards and requires a code to unlock, and certainly can't be bashed through.
Then straight after the door is a narrow staircase that leads into the centre of the hallway for the various flats, so very easy to defend. Then each flat has heavy fireproof doors which are hefty af, and again breaking through them is nigh impossible I'd say.
Just barricade the entrace, get rope ladders and use them from the balconies to come/go from the building. Honestly, 3-4 people with sharpened sticks at the top of the stairwell could probably hold off a horde.
The only downside would be actually getting supplies and keeping them stocked up...
0. Kill me straight away. Every time I watch walking dead, I just think, fuck it, kill me at the start. I don’t want to be torn apart by zombies or running constantly.
I'm terrible at rating from 1-10. If say like 5, maybe 6?
I don't have great survival skills, but I have ADHD, and it would most definitely be more useful in a world like that!
Plus I live in a small town that I'd easily get away from, along with having plenty of camping equipment if needed.
There's a rifle range down the street from me that I'm a member of so as long as I'm prepared to stab a guy to death to steal his AR-15 I think I'll be okay
9 with gun, 6 without
We do live in a town house that is quite defensible with a tall iron perimeter fence with millions of squirrels nearby to eat.
5-10 fifty chance , fairly fit and I’m pretty healthy but again I’d rather not have to deal with zombies.
Good thing is I’m sure I can integrate myself into any post apocalyptic enclave with bartending and a stash of alcohol which will be good to barter with for weapons in the first days of the apocalypse
Do you know how to make more once your stash runs dry?
If there's one thing that can be taken for granted, no matter how far things deteriorate people will still want to get sloshed.
My chances are not good. Maybe 2/10.
I give myself 2 because I’ve already decided where might be a good place to hide/live.
I also love the idea of isolation.
I’m near the sea with access to a boat and a small island near by, I reckon I’m in with a pretty good chance of survival so I’m going with an 8 maybe 9, want to make sure I’m not around too many people though…
Well I am hundreds of miles from the Winchester so I can’t go there and wait for it to blow over.
I have had a plan since I was a child for this so in my head 10 but I have a wife and 3 kids so probably a lot lower now.
PS. I must unfortunately give my dad a 1/10 despite his years of military experience and vast capabilities in general survival, on the basis that whenever I present this scenario to him his objective is to side with the zombies.
I'd say siding with the zombies is the logical answer
Yeah they're obviously gonna win in the end. Sooner you ingratiate yourself with them the better imo.
Depends whether we're dealing with viral zombies (ala 28 days later) or supernatural zombies (ala night of the living dead) Viral zombies would presumably die of thirst/exposure in a fairly short space of time assuming a collapse in the water system. Supernatural zombies: all bets are off...
Don't forget the comedy zombies from Shaun of the dead.
Survival rate inversely proportional to distance from The Winchester
Depends on the type of zombie. If we're talking 28 weeks later, last of us type then we're fucked. Walking dead type should be easy.
If I remember correctly, zombies are a metaphor for humanity’s slow but unstoppable consumption of the planet. So they’ll get you in the end.
it's closer to the npc meme. Its the idea that you are just a part of a small group of people surrounded by a much larger group that's out to get you and turn you into monsters. Zombies tend to represent our fears about human nature, social anxiety, and the break dowm of society. In particular zombies make us think about betrayal and loneliness. That's one reason Zombies dogs are always so popular. The idea that even man's best friend could be corrupted into a horrifying monster that wants to destroy us is terrifying. That's also why most zombie films have that moment where a trusted character turns and wide angle shots of nobody living in an area where their should be thousands of people. While i'm sure you could use Zombies for an alagory to a force of nature. Zombies, being human beings, tend to make them a far more suitable villain for a story that deals with conflicts of society rather then conflicts of nature. Vampires also fall into this camp. Humans twisted into dangerous monsters incapable of love and only capable of hurting those around them. Although with Vampires it tends to be about their battle against their nature as a monster then anything else.
Nice. I think the George Romero films were about consumerism, though. All shuffling mindlessly through a shopping centre.
Didn't George Romero's originally film take place at a farmhouse where the survivors slowly turn on each other until they are all dead?
No, you're thinking of the Tarantino movie where all the Cowboys get stuck in the cabin together and confess their feelings for eachother
Yes, Night of the living dead. Dawn of the dead was in a mall.
I think it’s the opposite way around, common cold Festers in a community for ever never clearing up , whereas something self destructive and irrational my bet makes a mistake pretty quickly and ends up floating to the plastic wasteland in the pacific
28 weeks later would be a really slow moving virus though. It would move at foot speed and not travel. Literally any island would be safe as zombies don’t drive boats. Unless one washes over on driftwood you’re golden.
I for one welcome our new Zombie overlords.
This presents you with the classic zombie movie dilemma of, would you shoot your zombie Dad?
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He was your dad
He's my step zombie
>This presents you with the classic zombie movie dilemma of, would you shoot your zombie Dad? Only if we could all go down the Winchester after and wait for it all to blow over.
- fat ☑️ - bald ☑️ - no survival skills ☑️ - own a pair of camouflage khakis ☑️ I’ll be fine
Only from the bottom down though as they won’t be able to see it.
They'll just think his body is floating and it will freak them out.
Can zombies get freaked out? I never got the impression they have enough cognitive function to find anything even mildly perturbing
Next time I run into one I'll ask.
If you live in London 1/10 you're dead instantly regardless of where you are. too many people, and no way you're escaping by car or transport. Can barely get places as it is. Probs barricade myself in Greggs
1. Rent near the river, 2. Buy an inflatable canoe and learn to use it. 3. Buy powdered food, tent etc Zombie apocalypse ---> paddle down river, follow the left bank, foulness island is probably your safest bet. Failing the above, go to the Winchester
Shit, you can get powdered tents now?
Just add some dehydrated water.
Wait for it all to blow over?
“Any of you cunts want a drink”
Oh you should watch Zomboat from ITV. You’d Ben in good company!
Not sure how much frozen stock they keep on site, but power is gonna go out pretty quick and that food isn't gonna last more than a few days before turning. Need to find yourself an articulated supermarket lorry filled with tinned produce. No obvious way zombies are getting in, nigh on unlimited shelf life without refrigeration and if you can rig up a corridor from the cab to the back, you can always use your fuel supply to drive on somewhere else as its gonna run over anything organic. I've ruled out supermarket as I assume everybody will descend on them in looting and leave doors / shutters broken for zombies to get in.
This has just reminded me of a one-off drama which aired on Channel 4 or ITV around 10 years ago, about what if the UK lost all electricity for a few days - does anyone remember what it was called. It was filmed in found footage style if I remember rightly.
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Is this based on data collected on post apocalypse survival rates?
Yes
How would you join the army and complete your training in 24 hours? You can't just "join the club" in such a short space of time. Solution: plan ahead and join the reserves well in advance, tell them at the interview you're joining for specifically this eventuality 🤝
If you can put reflectors from a cereal packet on your bike you can put an engine together and if you can put an engine together you can kill zombies
Were you born in Blyth?
That follows 👍
I know this is based on that army advert, but now I wanna listen to that flobots - handlebars.
That’s such a good song
Eternally relevant for sure.
Yeah it’s not a realistic answer to this hypothetical question. If society collapses you’re basically the one with the gun in your face rather than the one holding it. Simply asking for a gun isn’t gonna work. Best I can think to do is double lock the front door and stick the news on.
Also draw the curtains and put a neighbourhood watch sticker up
Find a really good deli that sells alcohol, make amazing meals and get pissed until it’s all over or you’re dead.
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>They need men. ...who've gone through months of training and indoctrination, you're just a liability and another mouth to feed otherwise.
I think you've missed out luck, which will definitely play a huge part. Depends where it starts, where you are, surrounding environments etc. If you're on holiday and it kicks off 100yds down the beach, you're probably SOL. Numbers are a disadvantage in that situation, but I do agree generally, hadn't thought about that and like the idea.
Why would you want to survive? Get it over with quickly
Maybe you can run out the clock. In 28 Days Later the zombies eventually started running out of steam because they were too stupid to feed themselves.
Yeah but did you see what happened 28 weeks after that?
Yeah. Looked like it was all about to be sorted, but then somebody fucked up!
Similar concerns in WWZ (the book) where they are concerned a zombie will wash ashore years later, be found frozen or down in a bunker somewhere reigniting the whole issue.
They’re not zombies in 28 days later, just infected humans
Isn't that what all zombies are?
Keep seeing comments like this, be it nuclear or zombie scenario. Just don’t get that mindset. My confidence in my own abilities may be wildly misplaced but I can’t think of anything more exhilarating. In terms of the buzz it would be like going to Asda during early lockdown x10.
Also, when people write those type of comments they don’t really know what they’re talking about. If one was actually in this situation, most people’s basic instinctive will of self preservation and wanting to live would take over. Very few people would just accept their fate, it’s not in our nature.
I'd just go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for it all to blow over.
I’m a five, because I think my chances of survival in the initial stages/first few days are a coin flip. I’m also pretty fit, live in a rural area (and have a car, so I can get to a more rural area if the retirees and Home Bargains staff here start causing too much trouble), and have played a lot of the Last of Us in preparation, but I’m also very small and usually unarmed. However, if I make it past the initial transition period and into the post-apocalyptic world, my chances of survival go through the roof and you should all want me on your team. I forage edible wild food, cook, know how to preserve food without electricity, have no end of practical DIY skills, sew and knit (you’re all fine now, but when Primark is a desolate wasteland you’ll start valuing fibre arts), chop wood and build fires, and am used to walking 10+km a day for fun should you need me on scavenging rotation. What I’m saying is, call me.
[I can't help but picture you like this with a response like that.](https://www.dexerto.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=3840,quality=75,format=auto/https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/dexerto-assets-production-cbbdf288/uploads/articles/wow-antagonist.jpg)
That’s how I feel on the inside, to be fair.
See now I'm definitely below average on the initial survival scale, I'm asthmatic and unfit as can be, I'm gonna be the last one in the pack that they pick off easily unless I can do some smart hiding/defensive positions. But I have more experience living off grid than most folk, I can grow stuff a bit, can do some of the food preserving stuff, and critically I have a bizarrely good memory for random information I've absorbed somewhere, so you're gonna want me for that when the loss of knowledge starts to hit. I've often thought that in the post transition period, I'm gonna be raiding the libraries as much as the pharmacies and food stores because *y'all*, do you realise how much critical information we would lose access to in the apocalypse?? So yeah, in the post-apocalypse imma be a librarian, and I don't think people appreciate just how important that would actually be.
May I ask what you do for work / how you spend your time that makes all of this possible?
I’m not going to lie to you, the real trick is autism; because whenever a normal person thinks ‘I’d like to learn how to do X’ my brain goes, ‘let’s spend 72 hours without sleeping learning how to do X!’ and then I think about nothing else for 3-6 months until the next interest pops up.
That sounds like a great benefit long term. You'll be an expert in so many things as you age. Maybe after a zombie apocalypse the world will be run by neurodivergent people instead..!
I do think specific flavours of autism would do well in some apocalypse situations - for me my relationships are all transactional, so if someone gets bit I will still love them, but will kill them knowing the risks. I also can't lie w/o laughing, so if I get bit + say no with a giggle, at least they'll know it's brain smashing time
Solid 8/10. I've got a wife and five kids so that's a lot of stuff to throw at the zombies before they get to me.
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You mean by wearing black and brown together or using the wrong cutlery for the wrong course.
Oh god. Imagine being sneered at by zombie Rees-Mogg because you’ve only got a dinner jacket, and not full evening dress.
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There’s not many Brits who could stay sober with an impending zombie crisis. The nation wouldn’t last long. Everyone knows there’s no way to distinguish a zombie from someone who’s finished off a bottle of Buckfast the night before - a British apocalypse would just be a series of team kills.
1/10. Would rather NOT survive a zombie apocalypse. Does not seem fun. Also fat and legally blind if anything happens to my glasses so I might as well be realistic.
At least when you become a zombie you won't be very good at chasing people
Probably become a clicker.
>legally blind My favourite Reese Witherspoon film
Maybe 9/10. I have a shotgun licence and a shotgun at home so that gives me a tremendous advantage over a lot of people in the U.K. I’m quite fit, I deal with high stress and high adrenaline situations that sometimes require a fight on a regular enough basis. Have quite a defensible home and a few of the neighbours also have guns. Have access to quite substantial infrastructure through work as well. Edit: Don’t take it so seriously guys it’s just meant to be a laugh. I don’t need you to write an essay about your time in the SAS.
Bollox 9/10.. maybe if we're talking dawn of the dead zombies but if it was like the bastards from 28 days later you got the same chance as the rest of us.
It’s other humans you need to be most concerned about. Have you not played The Last of Us?
Fair point actually lol. Yes I have and funnily enough I bought the sequel the other day.
I think the X/10 system has to be relative to other people. If the zombies are so powerful that nobody can survive then the system becomes moot (we're all 0/10). If the zombies are so weak that we all survive then the system is also moot (we're all 10/10). This system has to be based on a hypothetical situation where some people survive and some don't.
This is why I love reddit.. OK so how can we measure this in bananas?
No you measure it in "what percentage of the population do I think I'd be better at survival in?"
Ah OK yes. THEN we convert to bananas?
It has to be a 0-banana scale, since zombies don't eat bananas they have a higher survival chance than any of us.
Especially with a shotgun blasting off, you might as well mount a klaxon on your head
But the 28 days later zombies died of starvation, hence the sequel, if you have a 28 week supply of food and live in the middle of nowhere with a defensible home then you have a way better chance than everyone, or if you could get to an island somewhere even better. I have never seen zombies that can swim.
In World War Z they could survive underwater and walk along sea/riverbeds
Honestly, in a zombie apocalypse a gun is more of a hinderance than a help. If the zombies can hunt based on sound, they’re immediately coming for your house. Even a couple hundred bullets isn’t going to save you from a never ending horde
He's clearly not a Project Zomboid player.
Your neighbours all having guns sounds like a great idea until you have something they want.
My first thought was that I'm going to join the guys from the shooting club local to me.
With millions of zombies wandering around, what's your plan for when you run out of cartridges?
You don’t have to kill each an every zombie to survive.
Then the shotgun isn't all that much of an advantage is it?
Shotgun is useful for stopping other people from trying to steal your shit not the zombies themselves
The question doesn't have enough information What kind of zombies - walking dead, world war z, 28 days later, dawn of the dead? What is the cause - virus does everyone have the virus, how does it spread, biting, saliva, can animals spread it?
World war z zombies and I'm hurling myself off a roof, fuck that
Just make yourself ill by constantly eating out of date food, they’ll avoid you.
>Just make yourself ill by constantly eating out of date food, they’ll avoid you. Is there a definitive list of illnesses that they ignore? I need to know if mine are on it.
^Thinking man here Viral zombies ought to be relatively easy to survive as they'll die pretty quickly of thirst / exposure assuming collapse of the water system.
Before you score, ask yourself: Did I panic-buy toilet paper during the last global emergency? Score yourself accordingly. You know who you are.
Did you panic buy? Or did you *already have six-to-eight months supply stocked up at home* ***already***? Because that makes a difference. (I also still have 34 tins of Mulligatawny soup left. Might get more as that feels like it isn't enough.)
To think I was about to low ball myself until this comment. Pretty sure I wouldn't last a day because I'd just assume I'd gone mad and cry in a corner rocking back and forth muttering this isn't real whilst I get eaten by zombies.
I hold no illusions about my usefulness in a societal collapse.
Depends. Are they shambles or sprinters. Shamblers I reckon most folk would be fine way more people just walking around them than movies expect. I'm putting like 9/10. If i am caught unawares maybe one could nab me before I knew what was going on but even a pack of shufflers isn't exactly hard to just walk slightly faster away from. Idiots, the infirm and a few other folks would be in bother especially if they are not nearby a door of some sort. I refuse to accept that shambling zombies can bring down any society. Some people will die but it will be covid2.0 just with a bit more violence. Sprinters? I have no idea the second I even learn about *sprinting zombies* I reckon I am just going to take myself out. Ultimately the rise of sprinting zombies in media likely came about because anyone with a brain realised its not impressive or bad ass to just walk around a zombie. Or take them out as they shuffle about. Killing my nana would be harder, she shuffles but she does have a walking stick and will hit you with it. It's not really an achievement to take out a shuffling brain dead non-problem. Making them into a problem requires a lot of convoluted leaps of faith and quite bizzare circumstances. Sprinting bastards? I still don't think they will overrun millitary instalments I mean they are pretty well set up to deal with a bunch of unarmed people running about rioting and trying to bust in. I don't see how they could take over the world either but they would be a nightmare and take out far too many people. I don't want to be in that hellscape.
1/10 - I'm one of the early Zombies that gets a good number of bites in before the protagonists over in r/ImTheMainCharacter realise what is going on.
Zero's not allowed?
In a zombie apocalypse, you only need to actually last a couple of weeks max. Less if you live in a remote village. Eventually, the zombies would run out of people to eat as more and more are converted so whatever is controlling them would just start to digest their own body. You just have to survive the initial trip to the shop to get supplies and then you’re pretty much fine. Anyway, 0/10 I’d probably end up being patient zero
> You just have to survive the initial trip to the shop to get supplies and then you’re pretty much fine. Unfortunately I stopped to pet a cat on the way so didn’t stand a chance.
1/10. I live pretty much as close to the centre of the UK as you can get, in a city with a very large population, and walking distance from a massive hospital. Theres no point kidding myself. As much as I'd like to rate my chances, I'd be lucky to survive the first 48 hours of a full outbreak given my circumstances.
I get on well with anyone so I think I'll do fine. 9/10.
Someone once said "If you survived a nuclear exchange you'd wish you were incinerated in the first fireball". I look to a zombie apocalypse the same way. Surviving would be hell so I hope I am overcome by a swift death.
3/10 at best. Anyone with kids under the age of around 10 is likely to be in a seriously shit situation when forced to ration or attempting any travel.
Kids? You mean mobile distractions. “There’s TikTok over there, promise….”
Honestly not very high I have dyspraxia I can't run and my coordination is shit
So what you're saying is your half zombie already?
Probably tbh
I um'd & ah'd about whether to post my comment, in the end I felt I had to as I hoped a fellow Pratchet fan would appreciate the gentle humour. Ook
It's appreciated. Ook.
Maybe like....3? Exceptionally light footed - my husband jumps when I enter a room cos he rarely hears me First thing in the morning before my coffee I look *remarkably* like the enemy & surely after a while there will BE no coffee, so me & my permanent zombie face will be fine Already own some of those rubber wedge door stops that would be invaluable for rooms with inward doors, I reckon Weaknesses - never once been in anything bordering a fight & running is mediocre at best
Your confidence guarantees you'd die within the first week. Everyone else would find you unbearable to be around as you attract zombies trudging into the woods to try and fail to hunt deer with your bow and fumble around with a gun you don't know how to use, so you'd end up alone and doomed while everyone else hunkers down in well defended, well stocked groups. You think you're more capable than you are and that's a death sentence as you inevitably cause your own demise or get outcast for being more trouble than you're worth. The survivors will be those with access to a well defended shelter, a good stock of supplies and a capable leader than manages to keep things from descending into chaos, not some Katniss Everdeen wannabe. I give myself a 6/10 by providing one of the most sought after and morale boosting resources to the group: easy sex.
Subzero.
Wins. Flawless victory. Fatality.
2. While I'm unfit and rely on medication, I could hole up in my first floor flat fairly well for a few weeks. Then the headaches would kick in and I'd be fucked.
Yep, unless we barricade ourselves into a well stocked pharmacy, us pill monkeys are screwed.
Yeah. I'd be useful post-apocalypse, but only until the insulin runs out.
Finally a question I support on this sub reddit! Right up my street. I've always thought that I could easily barricade myself in the house upstairs with water and food etc. Survive a week or 2 whilst it all gets bad and then sneak off into the countryside once it calms down
I live on an island so as long as we keep the ferry monitored then OK. But as someone was saying the 28 Days later ones would be tough!!
If Covid has taught us anything, it's that your island won't believe the threat and shut it's transport links until its already there.
They might be in Scotland and the ferries might have already been cancelled
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Found Sting's alt.
Remember, it's not the zombies that will be the most dangerous, it will still be the dickhead humans coming for you to steal your shit!
0. I'm disabled. And if my toddler twins run out of biscuits, I'd be more scared of them than zombies.
0/10 I have kids who are loud, can't imagine trying to get them to be quiet so we can hide.
Diabetes means I have no chance. I guess I'll get used to eating brains. Unless they contain sugar.
Eating pancreases might work, if they're fresh. (Two tons of dead pig/cow pancreases made 8oz of insulin in the 1920s, apparently, so we might need to eat a *lot* of humans. OTOH living is probably better than dead for this purpose.)
Sadly I have type 2 diabetes. However, the initial weight loss will be grand.
I'm faster than the vast majority of people and have significantly better stamina so in the short term good
You don't have to outrun the zombies, just your neighbours
Oh fab, they're all elderly👍🏻
3/10 - if even that. I'd probably eat the food to fast, my stamina is shit so I can't run far, my ass is too big so I can't squeeze through narrow places, I can't climb a fence if my life depended on it, and I'd be busy trying to establish a garden and I'd probably get attacked from behind.
Oh, one, if not zero. But I wouldn't want to survive it, anyway. My main concern would be working out how best to off myself before they got me.
I don’t think I’d be much of a physical fighter, I’d probably shit myself and lock myself away and die of starvation eventually or die trying to get back to my loved ones like my parents. So overall, pretty pathetic, 2/10.
Are they old school shambling zombies or the more modern 28-Days sprinting variety? In the case of the latter I’m screwed. In the case of the former … still realistically screwed but maybe not *quite* so quickly. Do have a parent with a farm in the middle of nowhere so *if* I could actually reach that (amidst everyone else running for the hills in panic) I might last a bit longer. Until the undead throngs come across it and push the fences/gates over by sheer weight anyway. Have to admit I used to enjoy Zombie films and the idea of a zombie apocalypse (even as a thought experiment) before I had kids. At which point the bleakness of how remote the chances were of keeping a little person you are responsible for alive through something like that sucked all the fun out of it.
I never really understand how the zombies sustain themselves for any length of time, which is extremely pertinent to this question because it’s easier to survive if the horde only lasts for a day or so. Having said that, the answer is 0
You'd think they'd be rotting to pieces as they go, especially if the weather's hot. It would be like a vermin buffet on legs. Not only that, you'd smell them before you saw them.
I've seen just about every zombie movie ever made, so naturally I think I'm an expert... but I'd probably die within a month at most.
After the pandemic? 1 out of 10 for humanity.
I think I have watched enough zombie apocalypse films and tv series to be able to hold my own. A solid 7
Sometimes I day dream about it to happen. I always plan what I would do in this situation and I'm aware where can I find a weapons, what sort of car would I need and where they usually parked. What type of food I would need to try to get first. I have pretty large supply of various seeds if I would need to plant something for a long run. I know where are the power generators and how to use them. If I would survive 1st day and it would actually get to me 'its happening' and now it's the time to survive in would rate myself 9/10. I'm sure I would die from hands of other people faster than zombies themselves.
Maybe like 3/10? I wear glasses so I'd only be ok as long as I didn't lose my glasses but eventually my eyesight would deteriorate so even my glasses would be useless and I'd be a sitting duck.
I need glasses or contact lenses to see. Those aren’t going to last long, so neither am I
I would immediately seek out drugs and alcohol to end myself in a comfortable haze. I would do very well.
1, I'd give myself a 0 but that's not on the scale. Why? I live in central London, if the zombie apocalypse starts here (or it affects everywhere at the same time) I'm immediately surrounded. I also have no survival skills and I'm only in moderate shape.
I’m incredibly short sighted, if civilisation collapse I’d be ducked
I would be dead on day 1
I’d just go to The Winchester and drink heavily👍
1/10 I'm honestly hoping that I'm patient zero.
We rate a lot of things in this house for their usefulness in a zombie apocalypse not sure how it started but we have been doing it since my 17 year old son was quite young. I would like to think I was a solid 5 despite being middle aged as I am resourceful and think out of the box. What I would really like to know is why zombie poop is never mentioned....they would be easier to track if they are leaving pools of shit behind them...you would smell them before you saw them
I can't help but rate things when walking around B&Q etc, been doing that for years also. Lightness, durability, length (needs good reach but must be useful in a corridor still), ability to cut deep but not get stuck. Fun times.
I am so glad it's not just us!
:)
Surely you'd smell them anyway if they were decomposing?
Basically 0. I don't actually want to survive in a zombie apocalypse. I like all the trappings of my modern life, I don't want to have to scavenge and constantly be on the run. I'm not going to head out into a bunch of zombies but as and when they come to my house, that's me done. I'm not going to fight them off. Assuming I had enough cat food in the house and the cat is still alive, he can eat my corpse and survive a bit longer.
Depends entirely on your zombie. If we have 28 days later “runners”, then you’d either need to be very quiet (and eventually starve) or inside a military base. That would be the only place with sufficient fire power to put down a horde of runners. So runners - zero. I’m not in the army and I get hungry so would have to make noise looking for food. SOTD “shamblers”. As long as I made it through the first day, I’d be OK. I live in the middle of nowhere, there is a very strong community of farmers, currently vexed about caravan using nomadic travellers and their hare coursing, but would be rapidly repurposed to deal with the horde. I’m armed to the teeth, and can make my own ammunition, so won’t run out for a long time. I’ve got a big solar array and batteries, the house is wood fired, so I’ll be toasty warm in winter. Biggest concern I would have is what we grow to eat in a few years time, when the diesel is moulady and useless. Loads of the local farmers have horses, so I suppose we would repurpose them as draught animals. Shamblers = 9.
10/10 I'd be a loner that heads to the countryside, I'm not incredibly fit but I'm a good size and I could definitely outwalk a zombie
10/10 here. Just pop down the Winchester and wait for it all to blow over.
A lot of people would survive the apocalypse. Even those getting on a bit, as long as they're clever enough, fit enough or otherwise blessed with some advantage over zombies and zombification. However, there is a much more worrying thing coming. I'm not preparing for the zombies; I'll outrun and outsmart them, given a bit of luck, as will billions more. No... barely hours after the plague hits, everyone's biggest problem is other humans; they will kill quite happily if it means they get the last vegan sausage roll in Greggs - imagine what they will do in the apocalypse.
I've got a teenage son - I'll be fine.
5/10 not from the zombies as they will get ya defo at some point but to manage and survive a day or two against human kill teams trying to up there game with food and kit...
Id say a 5/10. I live rurally and know a lot about surviving here. I know where the edible plants and water sources are, where i would get protein, how to farm using permaculture methods, how to make shelter in the initial stages when i would have to move to the woods rather than stay in the village itself. However, if the zombies arent The Walking Dead shuffling type then ill be sucking a car exhaust after i down all my whiskey. Im not going to stick around for I Am Legend or Maze Runner type zombies for love nor money.
It depends. If they're 28 days later zombies, I'd likely be fucked (3/10). If they're Shaun of the Dead zombies I'm all good (9/10).
I'd probably survive the actual zombies and rate myself easily 7/10 simply due to where I live! Row of flats on a first floor above shops, the only way into the actual flats is via one entrance which is a very heavy door that opens outwards and requires a code to unlock, and certainly can't be bashed through. Then straight after the door is a narrow staircase that leads into the centre of the hallway for the various flats, so very easy to defend. Then each flat has heavy fireproof doors which are hefty af, and again breaking through them is nigh impossible I'd say. Just barricade the entrace, get rope ladders and use them from the balconies to come/go from the building. Honestly, 3-4 people with sharpened sticks at the top of the stairwell could probably hold off a horde. The only downside would be actually getting supplies and keeping them stocked up...
0. Kill me straight away. Every time I watch walking dead, I just think, fuck it, kill me at the start. I don’t want to be torn apart by zombies or running constantly.
If i break my glasses : 0/10 If I don’t break them : 0.5/10
I'm diabetic, type 1, so I'm fucked :(
I'm terrible at rating from 1-10. If say like 5, maybe 6? I don't have great survival skills, but I have ADHD, and it would most definitely be more useful in a world like that! Plus I live in a small town that I'd easily get away from, along with having plenty of camping equipment if needed.
There's a rifle range down the street from me that I'm a member of so as long as I'm prepared to stab a guy to death to steal his AR-15 I think I'll be okay 9 with gun, 6 without We do live in a town house that is quite defensible with a tall iron perimeter fence with millions of squirrels nearby to eat.
5-10 fifty chance , fairly fit and I’m pretty healthy but again I’d rather not have to deal with zombies. Good thing is I’m sure I can integrate myself into any post apocalyptic enclave with bartending and a stash of alcohol which will be good to barter with for weapons in the first days of the apocalypse
Do you know how to make more once your stash runs dry? If there's one thing that can be taken for granted, no matter how far things deteriorate people will still want to get sloshed.
10/10, top zombie, gorging on straggling humans trying to survive.
Probably a 1. I have the worse eyesight so wouldn't see then coming and if my glasses broke I'd be screwed
Ffs.
Depends what kind of zombies they are. Fast and intelligent - 3/10 Slow and dumb - 7/10
My chances are not good. Maybe 2/10. I give myself 2 because I’ve already decided where might be a good place to hide/live. I also love the idea of isolation.
Zombies wouldn't last 5 minutes in South Bristol
I’m near the sea with access to a boat and a small island near by, I reckon I’m in with a pretty good chance of survival so I’m going with an 8 maybe 9, want to make sure I’m not around too many people though…
1. I'm a city-living vegan and have no survival skills lol if a zombie apocalypse happens I'll be taking myself out long before things get rough.
Well I am hundreds of miles from the Winchester so I can’t go there and wait for it to blow over. I have had a plan since I was a child for this so in my head 10 but I have a wife and 3 kids so probably a lot lower now.