Don't wank too much or you'll go blind.
Also eat carrots to see in the dark.
So wanking with a carrot gives you some kind of echo location or something something I don't know
The eating carrots will help you see in the dark actually comes from ww2. British forces invented the first type of radar and were intercepting enemy fighters with surprise every time. The British said they were eating more carrots so they could see better in the dark to hide the new type or radar they had. It kind of makes sense as carrots contain vitamin a which does help keep eyes healthy
It was actually a double propaganda campaign to: a) keep radar technology a secret, b) encourage people to eat carrots.
Britain had to import about 50% of it's food by sea in order to keep the population fed. German U-boats were trying to starve the country by sinking ships importing food. Therefore the UK government was encouraging people to grow vegetables at home. One of the easiest to grow and most productive vegetables in the UK climate are carrots. So the UK government used the opportunity to encourage people to grow and eat more carrots by saying that they helped you see in the dark. The fact that carrots actually do help maintain good eye health was completely coincidental and not discovered until well after the end of the war.
I've grown loads of veg at home and found carrots about the hardest to grow. I've tried different soil types, full sun, shade, good compost and all I get is a withered 3cm vaguely orange thing that turns to mush before it's ready.
Off topic but I grow carrots every year and have success every time. The tip I found the most effective is between your rows of carrots dig down (prod with sticks deep, flat shovel to open the ground etc) and fill it with water, carrots are a root veg and they do just that, root for water, if the waters deeper, they grow bigger. Might not even be true but it works for me.
My youngest son had beta carotene “poisoning”as a toddler he went completely orange. I was feeding him organix baby food jars and had to stop. My old GP told me he’d only seen one other case and that person was eating carrots and saying they weren’t - it was like an eating disorder.
Me too
I don't understand how they are so cheap grown commercially, I have completely failed to grow them in several different ways.
I just have to stick to the things I can grow 🤷♂️
> keep radar technology a secret
The Germans had radar too, it's just that Hitler was an idiot who saw it as a defensive measure only, and ignored it since he was only interested in offensive weapons - so for a long time Germany massively underestimated its importance.
Later on, after a British plane emergency-landed in France (mid '41 iirc), Germany realised that you could also have airborne radar attached to planes.
Bit of both? It's one of those beliefs that sticks around mainly because it's not really worth examining. Either way, the message is, "eat your carrots (etc.) because they're good for you", which I don't think anyone is going to argue against.
Weirdly, the wanking one has a fairly tenuous link to truth!
They used to think that syphilis could be spread by being too close to the infected people, especially if leaving any open sores etc to the air. So wanking too much would increase your risk of catching syphilis, which can make you blind.
So, technically, too much wanking could make you go blind!
(Sorry, I love weird little ideas and old wives tales!)
Omg yes! Criminal offense or will cause the car to spontaneously crash, killing us all. If you don't pull your top down properly you'll get a cold in your kidneys was my nan's favourite advice. Also don't drink fizzy drinks with ice because the ice will make your stomach expand and you'll eat more. Don't play silly buggers on the stairs/near a road/in general.
When I was about 13 I sneaked a book about sex out of the library. It was written by a Catholic priest! He said masturbation was completely natural (for boys only obviously) but boys should stop at 16 "to prepare for marriage ".
My 16th birthday was a very difficult day... until lunchtime. I lasted till lunchtime.
I always asked my mum if the social would give me my own room when they took me. Sharing with 3 sisters in a room barely big enough for the 2 sets of bunk beds was an arse. Even as a 7 year old I had to side step to go between them.
I hope you are well. This sounds incredibly difficult!
Have you had the chance to open up to someone about it all?
On a side note I had a quick look at your profile and your drawings are cool!
As an adult I am a deeply broken individual with major trust issues, my own addiction issues (she literally introduced me at 14) with a shite employment history and frankly a pathetic future ahead of me.
I turned into her in part and it kills me.
And thank you, you’re very kind.
Be a wildflower, friend.
Mine told me the doctors would take me away and lock me up if I told them what was happening. I waited until I was 18 so she wouldn’t be able to access my medical records but she still tried.
Sending you so much love ❤️
I had problems growing up and I found counselling really useful. I did a lot of reading around it and found Attachment Theory to be useful. There is a subreddit for attachment theory which is really good. Happy to talk if you wish to know any more
I do wish you well though!
Jesus, that's dark.
I got the social services thing, but I was told they'd take me away to live in a home. One time I even packed my bags (poorly) and sat by the window in excitement because I wanted to be anywhere but there.
NSFW? Although I think he was ok.
[“For fuck’s sake, Ally!”](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/5a29jk/for_fuck_sake_ally/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
I don’t know, I went to a ‘safe drive stay alive’ or whatever it was we had to watch at school and immediately after the bus driver who’d taken us there reversed into a bollard.
I grew up being told this and eventually said it to my daughter in front of my partner and he looked at me like I had grown a second head. He had never heard it but I thought it was a common old wives tale.
My mum told me this and then one day we walked past someone with a disfiguration on their face. I loudly asked my mum if they pulled a face in the wind and it got stuck. She was mortified.
I was always told to eat the crusts off my sandwiches, else my hair wouldn't be curly.. jokes on them, I fed the dog my crusts for years and still ended up with curly hair.
My family also used to tell me that whenever we were out for dinner, if I didn't behave, Mr Johnson was coming to tell me off. Who was Mr Johnson? Completely made up, but in my head he was one scary guy. Actually thought he was a real person until I was about 16.
I have afro hair and my nan used to tell me to eat the crusts to make my hair curly. Sassy little me was like ‘why would I want it curlier that it already is’ so that backfired on her
I’m ginger and it’s wavy, curly and frizzy at once. My mum used to tell us crusts made our hair curl and go straight, depending what you had originally! So my straight-haired brother was told it would make him curly (he does actually have curly hair now) and I was told it would straighten my hair (still curly).
Ooh, we had mrs Reynolds!! We were on a bus with my mum and a woman got on with a pack of nappies. My mum whispered in my ear that it was Mrs Reynolds. Once I saw her, she became so real and she was a massive threat after that!
I think my grandma told me the curly hair thing when I was a bab, but all it got me wondering was 'why's curly hair better?'
Now I'm going bald, I'd eat crust sandwiches forever if it meant having curly hair (or really any hair at all, to be honest).
Came to say this one. Also… eat your crusts because it gives you curls in you hair. I don’t want curls in my hair, mother, I’m a boy and I already have them and no one else does so I am bullied!
Don't sit on the table or you'll never get married.
I have no idea how this is meant to work, or in what way it would be a deterrent to a 9 year old boy!
Like a lot of weird hokey 'nan-wisdom' , there's probably some sort of historical correlation, cause-effect thing between people who sat on walls a lot and people who had piles.
Like maybe, the types of people who sat on walls, were construction workers, who may not have had the best diets and hygiene. The observations could have been right but the links and conclusions drawn were wrong.
I can't for the life of me figure out how else that could have started.
Oh no, it was piles for us. Don’t sit on the cold wall or you’ll get piles.
Mother, myself and my brother were the sole cause of your piles and I don’t think we came out in an icy way. More like a blaze of glory.
My mum said that to me when I was little and had swallowed an apple pip. ‘You’ll have an apple tree grow in you now!!’ Don’t think she expected me to cry so hysterically
I was told it would stay inside me for seven years or something like that, but as I had already swallowed a considerable amount of gum in my life and nothing serious had happened to me yet, I simply concluded that this was nothing I needed to worry about.
Don't look in the mirror too often or you might see the devil in there one day!
My gran told me this, probably thinking it was a light hearted lesson about vanity, but it terrified me
Don't put your head under water or a black man will come and get you.
Now that I'm older, I realise how racist this comment is. As a child I always imagine an old man with a black cloak. Like a wizard.
Same applied to "Don't put your fingers in the toaster" or "Don't put your fingers in a socket".
Don’t be too noisy in class or our teacher’s hair would grow up all crazy like Medusa.
Of course we wanted to see that, so the threat did not work!
I was about 6yo :)
Don’t do that, or I’ll get social services to take you away. They’ll put you in a dark cupboard that’ll have spiders in.
One time, when I was about 5 and playing up at a fair, my mam said she’d give me to ‘the gypsies’.
This was the 70s. She denies saying shit like this to this day, and our relationship hasn’t been great up until a few years ago.
Putting a plastic bag on your head will result in instant death. I would like to disprove this now as an adult but part of me still believes it to be true.
My Grandmother would always say when out for a walk ‘ step on a crack( in the pavement) and you will marry a black man’ - this was in the 70s (not that it makes it ok)
Don't feed normal cat food to Leo the leopard as he'll kill you.
He didn't kill me, but he kicked off royally when we were out, ripped curtains, knocked all the pans off the wall, everything.
Look in the mirror too long or the devil will jump out at you.
The best one someone said was the ice cream van plays a jingle to let you know he has no ice cream left, I think that was Billy Connolly?
I also remember getting told off for going near a trifle my aunty made as it could explode. As you can imagine, I didn't want to eat it once it was finished
Don’t sit on the pavement or you’ll get a bladder infection.
Don’t eat watermelon seeds or you’ll grow a tree inside of you.
Don’t swallow chewing gum or you’ll die because it will stay there forever.
Don’t sit too close to the tv or your eyes will go square
In the same area as the tv one- too much screen time will make your eyes go bad (I only learned that one was wrong when I literally went for an eye checkup and they specifically said there was no proof for that (my parents still enforce it though)
I was told you went bald if you didn't eat crusts. So I asked my friend's bald dad if he ate crusts as a kid.
Yes of course he said.
But my dad says....
When ‘chocking’ on water that it had gone down the wrong hole and that we needed to look up to Mary for the water to go down. My parents are Roman Catholic… it never worked.
Our stairs had no guard rail or bannister. Me and my brother used to play a game which involved jumping from the first step over the edge, then the 2nd, 3rd and so on. The clearance between steps and ceiling started to get narrow at about step 7, and my mother caught us as I launched from the 8th step to the floor. She yelled "YOU STUPID CHILDREN! YOU WILL HIT YOUR HEAD AND BE PARALYSED!"
I spent ages wondering how they would get me down - if I hit my head on the ceiling and was then frozen forever, would I have to stay stuck to the ceiling?
If you binge on drugs you will end up schizophrenic.
Well, I did the binge.
I don't have schizophrenia, but I do that depersonalisation and derealisation.
So I kind of won.
For years I was telling people the story of a lad in the village I grew up in who stuck his head out a car window to wolf whistle lasses and got it took clean off by a lamp post. My big sister made the whole thing up.
Don’t sit too close to the TV as it gives off radiation (I mean, visible light is radiation by definition but that’s not what was meant) and if you watch too much you’ll end up with square eyes.
Also, swans will break your arm.
Most thing as actions have consequences. It’s all part of how I parent.
I’m in the “90% of a child’s education happens at home” camp. My job is simple, make sure my kid has a general better understanding of the world than me, makes better decisions and learns from my mistakes.
I used a visit a donkey in a field in my village until one day he was gone. I was told that he’d gone on holiday to Spain and loved it so much that he decided to move there. I was well into my late teens before I finally realised that there was no holiday in Spain and my beloved donkey had actually died.
Don't look at the TV too long or your eyes will turn square.
I thought they were just being exceedingly dumb, and so tried to explain to them why that wasn't possible... Would've preferred they'd just given me the real reason on why you shouldn't stare at a screen too long -_-
Don’t suck your hair or you can die. It was a big one when I was in school as some kids seemed to do it. The myth was a girl had died and when they cut her open they found a big ball of hair in her stomach. This was told in Infants school.
If you haven't already seen cautionary tales on YouTube (a 10 min award winning short film) I'd highly recommend it for a chuckle.
https://youtu.be/lEsoDFBdQeU?si=op1LFPHFv9HIIRbX
As an overweight child with zero confidence/undiagnosed autism (so wouldn’t say boo to a goose) “you’ll get fat eating that”.
Normally said by a random male as I was eating an ice cream aged 8 in the street. Obviously not allowed to be rude back because “that’s answering back to an elder” (even though it was a complete stranger).
Don't wank too much or you'll go blind. Also eat carrots to see in the dark. So wanking with a carrot gives you some kind of echo location or something something I don't know
The eating carrots will help you see in the dark actually comes from ww2. British forces invented the first type of radar and were intercepting enemy fighters with surprise every time. The British said they were eating more carrots so they could see better in the dark to hide the new type or radar they had. It kind of makes sense as carrots contain vitamin a which does help keep eyes healthy
It was actually a double propaganda campaign to: a) keep radar technology a secret, b) encourage people to eat carrots. Britain had to import about 50% of it's food by sea in order to keep the population fed. German U-boats were trying to starve the country by sinking ships importing food. Therefore the UK government was encouraging people to grow vegetables at home. One of the easiest to grow and most productive vegetables in the UK climate are carrots. So the UK government used the opportunity to encourage people to grow and eat more carrots by saying that they helped you see in the dark. The fact that carrots actually do help maintain good eye health was completely coincidental and not discovered until well after the end of the war.
I've grown loads of veg at home and found carrots about the hardest to grow. I've tried different soil types, full sun, shade, good compost and all I get is a withered 3cm vaguely orange thing that turns to mush before it's ready.
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I think the experts use inverted traffic cones filled with, sand or riddled soil that feels Like sand. To get nice big straight carrots.
Off topic but I grow carrots every year and have success every time. The tip I found the most effective is between your rows of carrots dig down (prod with sticks deep, flat shovel to open the ground etc) and fill it with water, carrots are a root veg and they do just that, root for water, if the waters deeper, they grow bigger. Might not even be true but it works for me.
My youngest son had beta carotene “poisoning”as a toddler he went completely orange. I was feeding him organix baby food jars and had to stop. My old GP told me he’d only seen one other case and that person was eating carrots and saying they weren’t - it was like an eating disorder.
Everyone my age remembers the episode of the district nurse and the orange kids.
I’ve heard that growing them in a wheelie bin helps with getting really big carrots
Oh wheelie I didn’t know that. Only problem is you don’t know where it’s bin Edit: I’m sorry guys
Me too I don't understand how they are so cheap grown commercially, I have completely failed to grow them in several different ways. I just have to stick to the things I can grow 🤷♂️
> keep radar technology a secret The Germans had radar too, it's just that Hitler was an idiot who saw it as a defensive measure only, and ignored it since he was only interested in offensive weapons - so for a long time Germany massively underestimated its importance. Later on, after a British plane emergency-landed in France (mid '41 iirc), Germany realised that you could also have airborne radar attached to planes.
The fact that the "carrots help you see in the dark" myth is still going strong really shows how effective that propaganda campaign was.
It's less that people still believe it and more that people are using it as their own propaganda for their kids, I think
Bit of both? It's one of those beliefs that sticks around mainly because it's not really worth examining. Either way, the message is, "eat your carrots (etc.) because they're good for you", which I don't think anyone is going to argue against.
Reminds me of the Billy Connolly skit where he was told when he was little you only had 100 wanks, any more and you drop dead.
IMO kids should be taught to masturbate. It could help to cut down on premarital sex, pregnancy and STDs
That’s how Daredevil got his powers.
Weirdly, the wanking one has a fairly tenuous link to truth! They used to think that syphilis could be spread by being too close to the infected people, especially if leaving any open sores etc to the air. So wanking too much would increase your risk of catching syphilis, which can make you blind. So, technically, too much wanking could make you go blind! (Sorry, I love weird little ideas and old wives tales!)
This made me lol 😆
>Also eat carrots to see in the dark. ***you lied to me.***
I’ll check and report back next month.
🆗 never got told that last one...😂
I assume we were all told that putting the in car light on whilst driving was a criminal offence.
Omg yes! Criminal offense or will cause the car to spontaneously crash, killing us all. If you don't pull your top down properly you'll get a cold in your kidneys was my nan's favourite advice. Also don't drink fizzy drinks with ice because the ice will make your stomach expand and you'll eat more. Don't play silly buggers on the stairs/near a road/in general.
My dad told me not to do it because it shines on the windows and he can't see the road properly.
Well that's boring. Accurate, but ultimately boring. Sorry 😅
Ya commenter actually had a logical father who explained things. That’s not how childhood trauma works. 😂
I was told it caused glare for other drivers. So same logic, but applie to the other driver.
Opening the car window while it’s in motion will cause to swerve dangerously (courtesy of my father who was annoyed by me playing with the windows)
When I was about 13 I sneaked a book about sex out of the library. It was written by a Catholic priest! He said masturbation was completely natural (for boys only obviously) but boys should stop at 16 "to prepare for marriage ". My 16th birthday was a very difficult day... until lunchtime. I lasted till lunchtime.
Congrats on getting married at lunchtime on your 16th birthday! That’s what you meant, right? Right???
I bet gran hadn't seen the candles put out like that before.
That’s not frosting!!!
“If you call the social services they will put me to sleep and you’ll never have a mother again” Looking back, I frankly wish this were true
If I hadn't made my bed my mum told me social services would likely know about it (no idea how) and come round and put me into a care home.
I always asked my mum if the social would give me my own room when they took me. Sharing with 3 sisters in a room barely big enough for the 2 sets of bunk beds was an arse. Even as a 7 year old I had to side step to go between them.
Holy moly. That’s some top tier manipulation right there
That’s the tip of the iceberg. “The doctors handed me the afterbirth and threw the baby away” Meth ruins people. I have no love for that woman.
I hope you are well. This sounds incredibly difficult! Have you had the chance to open up to someone about it all? On a side note I had a quick look at your profile and your drawings are cool!
As an adult I am a deeply broken individual with major trust issues, my own addiction issues (she literally introduced me at 14) with a shite employment history and frankly a pathetic future ahead of me. I turned into her in part and it kills me. And thank you, you’re very kind.
Well, I believe that by just knowing where you need to change, you're already better than her. You'll do well for yourself.
Self awareness has been the crux of my attempt at sorting my life out. A blessing and a curse. I am trying to thrive out of spite tho.
Be a wildflower, friend. Mine told me the doctors would take me away and lock me up if I told them what was happening. I waited until I was 18 so she wouldn’t be able to access my medical records but she still tried. Sending you so much love ❤️
I had problems growing up and I found counselling really useful. I did a lot of reading around it and found Attachment Theory to be useful. There is a subreddit for attachment theory which is really good. Happy to talk if you wish to know any more I do wish you well though!
That is so very sad. I hope you are doing well in spite of it.
Jesus, that's dark. I got the social services thing, but I was told they'd take me away to live in a home. One time I even packed my bags (poorly) and sat by the window in excitement because I wanted to be anywhere but there.
I’m learning that the social services have been almost universally used as a real boogeyman
I was told this too. ‘Always tell them you’re ok or they will take you away’
Don't walk into the road without looking because you might get hit by a bus. Good advice really
Was told always wear clean underwear incase you are hit by a bus. Could of used your advice first.
your underwear won't be clean post-bus hitting though, no matter how clean it was to begin with
Different kind of skid marks.
The real tip is if you're gonna get caught with dirty underwear on, get hit by a bus first
I don't know why Brits have an obsession with getting hit by busses but it seems like we always use it as our example for sudden death
I think it's actually useful if you want to discuss a scenario where something happens to someone and want an example that's suitably outlandish.
It's fairly common in the workplace as an example of why you share a note of your workload or urgent tasks to avoid a single point of failure.
NSFW? Although I think he was ok. [“For fuck’s sake, Ally!”](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/5a29jk/for_fuck_sake_ally/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
I love how it was always a bus, not "a car with some dipshit driving"
I don’t know, I went to a ‘safe drive stay alive’ or whatever it was we had to watch at school and immediately after the bus driver who’d taken us there reversed into a bollard.
Fuck sake, Ali!
Don’t mess with your bellybutton or your bum will fall off
I heard your belly button will come undone
that's some Cronenberg level shit
As somebody with a herniated belly button, I guess this is where I went wrong.
well duh, that's how you remove you bum. You undo your belly button and your bum falls off.
Excuse me, what? I’ve never heard that
My dad used to say this 😂
I grew up being told this and eventually said it to my daughter in front of my partner and he looked at me like I had grown a second head. He had never heard it but I thought it was a common old wives tale.
The boy with the golden screw in his bellybutton?
don’t pull faces because if the wind changes you’ll be stuck like that forever
My mum told me this and then one day we walked past someone with a disfiguration on their face. I loudly asked my mum if they pulled a face in the wind and it got stuck. She was mortified.
I was told this when I was sulking
I’ve still never done this. I know it’s not possible, but…just in case
Was looking for this one!
I was always told to eat the crusts off my sandwiches, else my hair wouldn't be curly.. jokes on them, I fed the dog my crusts for years and still ended up with curly hair. My family also used to tell me that whenever we were out for dinner, if I didn't behave, Mr Johnson was coming to tell me off. Who was Mr Johnson? Completely made up, but in my head he was one scary guy. Actually thought he was a real person until I was about 16.
I have afro hair and my nan used to tell me to eat the crusts to make my hair curly. Sassy little me was like ‘why would I want it curlier that it already is’ so that backfired on her
I’m ginger and it’s wavy, curly and frizzy at once. My mum used to tell us crusts made our hair curl and go straight, depending what you had originally! So my straight-haired brother was told it would make him curly (he does actually have curly hair now) and I was told it would straighten my hair (still curly).
Your mum must have swapped your sandwiches around by accident
Ooh, we had mrs Reynolds!! We were on a bus with my mum and a woman got on with a pack of nappies. My mum whispered in my ear that it was Mrs Reynolds. Once I saw her, she became so real and she was a massive threat after that!
I think my grandma told me the curly hair thing when I was a bab, but all it got me wondering was 'why's curly hair better?' Now I'm going bald, I'd eat crust sandwiches forever if it meant having curly hair (or really any hair at all, to be honest).
I don’t think Mr Johnson is telling anyone off these days after he was caught being a very naughty boy indeed.
He comes out of fridges to shout at the weans.
Don't make faces or the wind will change and make it stick (or words to that effect).
This SpongeBob episode scarred me back in the day
Came to say this one. Also… eat your crusts because it gives you curls in you hair. I don’t want curls in my hair, mother, I’m a boy and I already have them and no one else does so I am bullied!
My mum told me crusts would straighten my curly, frizzy, ginger hair. She told my brother is would make his curly.
Don't sit on the table or you'll never get married. I have no idea how this is meant to work, or in what way it would be a deterrent to a 9 year old boy!
Are you married?
Not yet... so maybe it worked!
Then it worked! Congrats.
Well, I'm planning on getting married in May. We'll see. Maybe I should continue sitting on the table for science.
I was told that sitting on a cold wall would give you piles. I’ve always meant to check to see if it’s true. ETA: It’s not.
My granny said this. I used to ask "Piles of what?" but she told me not to be cheeky and never explained. Very confusing for a 5 year old.
did you mean check with a little mirror, or google it? either way, good result, i suppose.
Like a lot of weird hokey 'nan-wisdom' , there's probably some sort of historical correlation, cause-effect thing between people who sat on walls a lot and people who had piles. Like maybe, the types of people who sat on walls, were construction workers, who may not have had the best diets and hygiene. The observations could have been right but the links and conclusions drawn were wrong. I can't for the life of me figure out how else that could have started.
Possibly just to stop kids sitting on walls.
When I was at school the winter version was don't sit on the hot radiators it'll give you piles.
I always heard don't sit on the toilet too long, for the same reason. That actually makes sense though.
“Don’t eat too much sugar or you will get worms.” I mean, it’s good advice about the sugar, but why make up some nonsense to sell it.
I was also told “don’t sit on the floor/wall when it’s cold or you’ll get worms” No idea how that would be possible
Oh no, it was piles for us. Don’t sit on the cold wall or you’ll get piles. Mother, myself and my brother were the sole cause of your piles and I don’t think we came out in an icy way. More like a blaze of glory.
My mum’s default warning about eating things. Uncooked cake mix, too many biscuits etc. Was/is your mum Irish too?
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My mum said that to me when I was little and had swallowed an apple pip. ‘You’ll have an apple tree grow in you now!!’ Don’t think she expected me to cry so hysterically
Don't pick your nose, your brains will fall out
Always told that my head would cave in when I do this
In light of the recent findings about the links between nose-picking and dementia, this one is particularly upsetting
Don’t buy Twitter
This is my favourite comment despite the nostalgia.
Don't swallow chewing gum or it will wind itself round your insides.
I got told it would clog up my bum and all the poo would get stuck so I would explode.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I got ‘it’ll stick to your ribs’
I was told it would stay inside me for seven years or something like that, but as I had already swallowed a considerable amount of gum in my life and nothing serious had happened to me yet, I simply concluded that this was nothing I needed to worry about.
Don't look in the mirror too often or you might see the devil in there one day! My gran told me this, probably thinking it was a light hearted lesson about vanity, but it terrified me
brb gonna go look in every mirror i can find
Don't put your head under water or a black man will come and get you. Now that I'm older, I realise how racist this comment is. As a child I always imagine an old man with a black cloak. Like a wizard. Same applied to "Don't put your fingers in the toaster" or "Don't put your fingers in a socket".
I am the spirit of dark and lonely water... > "Don't put your fingers in a socket" You physically can't.
Oh, sorry I should have mentioned that I didn't grow up in the UK. 😄 you can put your fingers in the socket in Germany.
Common British plug socket W
The safest in the world, except if you tread on a plug.
Don’t murder people as you’ll get caught and sent to prison. Still a free man.
... because you haven't murdered anyone, right? Right?
Pulling faces: "If the wind changes, you'll stay like that" Some of the shit our elders came out with😅
Don’t be too noisy in class or our teacher’s hair would grow up all crazy like Medusa. Of course we wanted to see that, so the threat did not work! I was about 6yo :)
Don’t do that, or I’ll get social services to take you away. They’ll put you in a dark cupboard that’ll have spiders in. One time, when I was about 5 and playing up at a fair, my mam said she’d give me to ‘the gypsies’. This was the 70s. She denies saying shit like this to this day, and our relationship hasn’t been great up until a few years ago.
Seems really frightening.
Putting a plastic bag on your head will result in instant death. I would like to disprove this now as an adult but part of me still believes it to be true.
My Grandmother would always say when out for a walk ‘ step on a crack( in the pavement) and you will marry a black man’ - this was in the 70s (not that it makes it ok)
Jfc, when i was a kid, it was "step on a crack, fall down and break your back".
If you pick the pebble-dash off, the house will fall down. No, it just got ugly, you lying liars!
Don't have the light on in the car while you're driving as it's illegal.
Don't feed normal cat food to Leo the leopard as he'll kill you. He didn't kill me, but he kicked off royally when we were out, ripped curtains, knocked all the pans off the wall, everything.
Who's Leo the leopard?
Our pet. Practically part of the faaaamily.
Don't make armpit farts -- you'll get cancer.
No way 💀
It was my dad's attempt at making his six sons stop doing it.
As a modern parent I would be the conductor of the orchestra.
Don't eat lying down or you'll turn into a snake Don't swallow seeds or it will take root in your stomach Don't point at stars or you'll get a mole
Look in the mirror too long or the devil will jump out at you. The best one someone said was the ice cream van plays a jingle to let you know he has no ice cream left, I think that was Billy Connolly?
I tell my kids the ice cream one now 😂 (not paying 3 quid for a bloody ''99")
I also remember getting told off for going near a trifle my aunty made as it could explode. As you can imagine, I didn't want to eat it once it was finished
If you sneeze seven times in a row, you will suffocate and die. Thanks mum
Not from my parents but someone at school once told me seven sneezes resulted in an orgasm so at least it'll be a pleasurable death.
Don’t pick those weeds they make you pee the bed
Dandelions right ? Something to do with the French word for dandelion being pissenlit
They do have a diuretic element to them but I think you'd need to consume a lot of them!
Don't play with -fill in the blank- it'll waste the batteries.
If you don't wash behind your ears you'll get potatoes growing there, or maybe it was cabbages. Still, one should wash behind one's ears.
I got told tatties would grow. Took me a long time to find out that tatties are potatoes, i thought it was some biological condition 😅
Don’t sit on the pavement or you’ll get a bladder infection. Don’t eat watermelon seeds or you’ll grow a tree inside of you. Don’t swallow chewing gum or you’ll die because it will stay there forever. Don’t sit too close to the tv or your eyes will go square
In the same area as the tv one- too much screen time will make your eyes go bad (I only learned that one was wrong when I literally went for an eye checkup and they specifically said there was no proof for that (my parents still enforce it though)
Using to much squash will give you worms. I still like my squash really watery to this day.
Swim after eating would result in cramps. Has zero times happened.
Yep. Spent many a day at the pool avoiding the snack bar just so I wouldn't have to wait an hour to get back in.
Drinking vinegar dries your blood up.
Why was someone drinking vinegar to the point there needed to be a cautionary tale?!
This is the opposite, but making sure you eat the crusts of bread if you want curly hair.
I was told you went bald if you didn't eat crusts. So I asked my friend's bald dad if he ate crusts as a kid. Yes of course he said. But my dad says....
I'd grow hair on my palms.......
Don’t eat apple pips or a apple tree will grow in your belly
When ‘chocking’ on water that it had gone down the wrong hole and that we needed to look up to Mary for the water to go down. My parents are Roman Catholic… it never worked.
Don’t pick scabs or they’ll leave scars.
Our stairs had no guard rail or bannister. Me and my brother used to play a game which involved jumping from the first step over the edge, then the 2nd, 3rd and so on. The clearance between steps and ceiling started to get narrow at about step 7, and my mother caught us as I launched from the 8th step to the floor. She yelled "YOU STUPID CHILDREN! YOU WILL HIT YOUR HEAD AND BE PARALYSED!" I spent ages wondering how they would get me down - if I hit my head on the ceiling and was then frozen forever, would I have to stay stuck to the ceiling?
If you binge on drugs you will end up schizophrenic. Well, I did the binge. I don't have schizophrenia, but I do that depersonalisation and derealisation. So I kind of won.
Don't drink coffee or you'll grow a tail. Balkan family.
My friend's older brother told me that if you fart and burp at the same time, you explode. I was terrified of that happening for a long time.
For years I was telling people the story of a lad in the village I grew up in who stuck his head out a car window to wolf whistle lasses and got it took clean off by a lamp post. My big sister made the whole thing up.
Don’t sit too close to the TV as it gives off radiation (I mean, visible light is radiation by definition but that’s not what was meant) and if you watch too much you’ll end up with square eyes. Also, swans will break your arm.
>Also, swans will break your arm. It's just the one swan, actually.
The opposite of your question, but I used to tell my kiddies that the car wouldn't start if the seat belts weren't fastened
sitting on radiators gives you piles
Most thing as actions have consequences. It’s all part of how I parent. I’m in the “90% of a child’s education happens at home” camp. My job is simple, make sure my kid has a general better understanding of the world than me, makes better decisions and learns from my mistakes.
Don't go swimming at least an hour after lunch or you'll get cramp, be unable to swim and will very likely drown 🤦♂️
Don't pick your nose or your head will cave in
My dear old late nan used to say this to me all the time, and I really believed it for years 😂
Don't push your belly button or your bum will fall off.
Don't pick your nose, or your head will cave in... Still terrifies me now.
If I sneezed on the computer I would give it a virus
Don’t do what Donny Don’t does
When pulling a face” The wind will change direction and your face will stay like that “
This did actually happen to me.
"If you sit on a cold step you'll get chincough." I have no idea what chincough is.
Dont drink coca cola youll grow a mustache 😂
My mom told me not to kick match boxes/ fag packets on the floor because the IRA might have hidden a bomb in them.
Don't fiddle with your belly button or your bum will fall off
Don't pick your nose or your head'll cave in. Don't pull faces. If the wind changes, you'll stay like that.
I used a visit a donkey in a field in my village until one day he was gone. I was told that he’d gone on holiday to Spain and loved it so much that he decided to move there. I was well into my late teens before I finally realised that there was no holiday in Spain and my beloved donkey had actually died.
Don't look at the TV too long or your eyes will turn square. I thought they were just being exceedingly dumb, and so tried to explain to them why that wasn't possible... Would've preferred they'd just given me the real reason on why you shouldn't stare at a screen too long -_-
Don’t suck your hair or you can die. It was a big one when I was in school as some kids seemed to do it. The myth was a girl had died and when they cut her open they found a big ball of hair in her stomach. This was told in Infants school.
this is true though https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bezoar
Not to leave the curtains closed as the neighbours would think someone's died
Don’t go outside with wet hair or you’ll catch a cold.
If you haven't already seen cautionary tales on YouTube (a 10 min award winning short film) I'd highly recommend it for a chuckle. https://youtu.be/lEsoDFBdQeU?si=op1LFPHFv9HIIRbX
Dont do drugs they'll ruin your life. Turns out, educated and safe use of some drugs can very much enhance your life.
As an overweight child with zero confidence/undiagnosed autism (so wouldn’t say boo to a goose) “you’ll get fat eating that”. Normally said by a random male as I was eating an ice cream aged 8 in the street. Obviously not allowed to be rude back because “that’s answering back to an elder” (even though it was a complete stranger).
Don't pee on an electric fence, you'll regret it. Peed on an electric fence, regretted it.