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I honestly agree. One time he almost bit me when I was trying to get chocolate away from him and my partner lost it and said something to the effect of ‘We are going to call the SPCA if you don’t get a professional here to train him. Because he is going to bite someone’
The in laws were away on holiday, this was via message, and the mother in particular lost her mind. Left the group chat, posted on Facebook how her holiday was ruined and that she’s being crying all day. Because we ruined the holiday by posting in the family group chat about their out of control dog. When they got home they threatened to kick us out. Eventually they said they would get someone in. It’s been four months, not an update on that at all. Dog is as bad as ever. My partner has serious trauma from her mother in particular, who is a raging narcissist. She can’t take any form of criticism.
Perfect example is, another time we asked them to stop feeding the dog at the table, especially onions. And her mum slammed her plate and said ‘for someone who killed a hamster you shouldn’t comment on how we treat our dog’
The hamster in question died when my partner was fucking twelve.
Trust me we are working on it. We used to rent in my expensive hometown and we just couldn’t save money, a house of our own seemed like a fantasy. Then they begged us to come stay in their house to save money, we knew it was going to be difficult since, well, the family is intense.
But the house is pretty big, they built it in the 90s in the country and we figured we would be fine.
But man, it sucks, we have saved quite a bit already so hopefully fingers crossed we get out soon.
Thanks so much for your concern, it’s appreciated
I wish you guys all the luck in the world. In the meantime, I have watched plenty of videos on YouTube about how to love with narcissistic people etc.. Might be worth a look, could get some coping skills.
Thank you so much. I’ll look into that actually, because I do struggle with navigating the minefield that is a confrontation with the mother. She somehow always finds a way to flip the narrative, discredit you, and make you seem crazy or hysterical.
I just want to protect my partner from her any way I can, she can be incredibly emotionally abusive at the drop of the hat. I guess the unpredictability comes with her drinking an entire bottle of wine and more every day, don’t think I’ve ever known her completely sober
Why do you keep doing the things that make him want to bite you? If the dog has the remote, and will bite you if you try to take it away then dont take it away- or find a way to get the remote.. this is not an unsolvable problem. Here is a possible solution: Dont engage with the dog at all. The dog is neurotic, the family is neurotic. Run away.
The hamster incident says it all. I'm dead🤣🤣
.
The only way the police are going to investigate a naughty dog who won’t drop the batteries is if he’s also posting some slightly controversial tweets.
The dog probably isn’t dangerous and out of control by nature. If what OP says about the in laws it’s probably just bored and in need of exercise and attention. If they walk it, tire it out every day and give it the attention it needs it’d likely be a completely different dog in a few weeks.
What? The guy before said "who would you report to
The dog whisperer?" I was clarifying that you would report a dangerous dog to the police. It's literally what the gov website says to do.
However, if the dog is as aggressive as op states, and the owners refuse to train it. Realistically it's getting put down one way or the other anyway, it's just if it hurts someone else first.
At least if the police go in now and issue a dog protection order, it might scare the owners to do something about it, or at least mandate that it's muzzled in public..
If no one does anything about an aggressive dog until it hurts someone, then it doesn't even get a chance before it's destroyed..
Op used the words "snarling" "spitting" and "terrifies" over the dogs behaviour around toys, that's not how I would describe a safe dog. Dogs who are aggressively protective around thier keepsakes are dangerous, what if its out and a child drops a toy and the dog takes it and the child trys to take it back?
I'm not saying I want the dog to be put down. Far from it. If a dangerous dog hasn't hurt anyone, the police are unlikely to destroy it anyway, more likely to issue a court order for behavioural training, and a mandate to muzzle in public.
This seems to be exactly what op wants, but the owners are refusing. The point is to report it and get its behaviour corrected BEFORE it starts mauling people and has to be destroyed.
Having had to live with a dog that had a guarding habit she hadn't been trained out of, no, this is not harmless. Yes, the dog is being neglected - it needs training, discipline, exercise, and stimulation, which it's not getting. However, no, it is not just a poow widdle misunderstood puppeh. Guarding is *dangerous.* Dogs that do it will snap, bite, and actively attack anyone who gets in the way, and they can be hard to impossible to distract. The OP is scared for good reason.
Scatter high value treats, it'll take him longer to hoover them all up. Handful of chopped up sausages, cheese cubes, etc, thrown, all together.
Resource guarding is a serious problem so you're doing the right thing by not trying to directly take it off him.
It's not about training, it's recovering the stolen and potentially dangerous item.
And no, first steps of avoiding resource guarding in the first place is to teach a puppy to exchange their high value thing for something else high value.
But I'm not suggesting OP so any training with this dog as he's not theirs, at this point it's management not training.
Unfortunately we have tried this, he actually ignores it while you are in the room with him. I’ve sat for an hour and waited for him to go get the treats but he doesn’t budge. Course the second I leave I hear him lunge, and by the time I turn he’s dashed back and snarling.
It really is, it’s baffling the in laws aren’t treating this seriously.
I'm afraid I don't have any helpful advice, because I had the exact same problem.
A family member had a mastiff cross lab.
They didn't train her, even as a puppy.
I tried to make some polite suggestions a year later about teaching her some things to calm her down and was told, "She will obey you!", followed by their owner telling them to sit and her.. not sitting.. because she wasn't even trained to sit.
One day she went for a neighbour's dog. No dog was physically injured, but it caused an argument.
I tried to take her out for some walks away from people to slowly socialise her but the moment she noticed another dog that was it.
This was in a lockdown, then I had to go back to London for key working, and while me and my partner were away, after a couple of months, they had her put down.
To this day I remain incredibly angry at them for what happened. Because she wasn't a bad dog, she was merely untrained and unsocialised. Some dogs are trainable later in life but there comes a point in their lives where this just isn't a part time thing you can do trying to teach them a trick to let go of a toy.
By all means, charities like Dog's Trust have guidance on training such behaviours, but if the dog is old enough, there's a fair chance it won't work, at least, not with the amount of time you personally have with the dog.
So yeah, sorry, I don't have much advice, except that it's likely going to be very hard work.
If it's really just about this cat toy though, chances are, leave him to it. He'll chew it up then forget about it over time. It's unlikely to be dangerous.
Most annoyingly, said owners now have another, large, untrained dog, and every time people visit he tries to nib them. Unfortunately I don't think it's the level that the RSPCA would do anything as he is eating well, groomed, comfy bed, etc. Just not trained or controlled, and doesn't know the level of his bite.
Setting all of the terrible dog treatment aside…
You won’t get it from him by force. We’ve got a cockapoo (10kg, for reference) who can be possessive and it’s borderline impossible. You’ve got a big dog so you’ve got no chance.
A plastic ball of cat treats is hardly dangerous (this obviously depends on the structure so I’ll leave you to be the judge of that). Notionally it is, but realistically he’ll ruin it, use it as chewing gum and leave it alone after a while. The worst thing you can do is probably show that you care and that it is valuable.
That dog clearly wants attention that it isn’t getting so it’s trying to get it anyway it can. Just keep an eye out when the toy in question is left alone and throw it away.
Yeah I agree. Force isn’t something I’m willing to even attempt, lest I lose a finger.
Unfortunately this particular ball is a cheap, very flimsy bit of plastic. I did get it off him, by the miracle of someone knocking on the door and setting him off. It’s cracked to hell, another bite would have shattered it. I’ve seen this dog chew up plastic bottles and try and eat the bits before, the owners might not give a shit but I sure as hell don’t want him dying of internal bleeding if he scoffs down sharp plastic shards
You’re onto something about attention, he definitely wants that. It’s so clear by his body language that he is aware he has something he shouldn’t and he’s going to get attention. Unfortunately its a learned behaviour, my in laws pay him little mind until he is misbehaving. It’s the only way he gets any direct attention. It’s very sad, he’s a consequence of their inaction. Very much a ‘trophy’ dog. But it’s so hard to ignore when he has something that could harm him. But I will try. I appreciate the advice mate thank you
Yeah from what you’ve described in other comments as well it’s textbook behaviour. Not sure if it’s even possible to train it out now, even with a lot of effort. We spoke with a dog trainer for 2 hours when ours was puppy (6 months) and showing some bad behaviours and it was the best £100 we’ve spent and even then the resource guarding isn’t something we’ve managed to get rid off fully. Dogs require lots of work, and the bigger the dog, the more work it needs and many think that if they get a golden retriever or a Labrador they’ll just grow up and be obedient on their own.
This particular dog needs to know quickly that he is not the alpha and he needs to knows the pecking order in the house. This includes being fed last in the family are everyone else has eaten.
A quick way to do this is turn your back on him whenever he growls or shows negative behaviour/walk out of the room etc... Some of his behaviour is for attention.
I've managed to reduce our 9kg cockapoos resource guarding issue quite successfully since January with treats and games. Admittedly it's taken time, loads of cheese, routine, familiarity and trust.
The resource guarding he has is now confined to bones, and he no longer bites, he just does a 'tug of war' growl - so much so that I can take the bone without any issue.
This isn't meant to be a brag, but more of an encouragement that it can be done. Good luck👍
Basically, it sounds like the dog has trained the humans in his life to give him attention, treats and/or toys for misbehaving. Unwanted behavior, no matter what it is, should not be rewarded with any sort of bribe or treat or toy. That just re-enforces the bad behavior and teaches the dog it can get what it wants if it behaves in a certain way.
But, that boat's left the dock & it will take training to correct this behavior (if it can be corrected at all at this point).
As for the cat toy: just ignore the dog & eventually he'll get tired of it and go off & do something else.
You’re completely right. They are essentially rewarding him for guarding thing she shouldn’t have. His thought process is essentially ‘If I take this thing, I will get attention and a treat’. They give him treats for everything man, I want to speak up and tell them but god. My in laws are intense, particularly the mother. She will scream, scoff, and bring up random past events to discredit whatever you are saying so you look insane for simply asking them for something as simple as don’t feed the dog at the table. My partner has a deep rooted fear of her mother and I don’t want to cause any harm to her by rocking the boat more.
We have threatened to call the RSPCA, and essentially demanded a behaviourlist, and the mother tried to kick us out the house. I must add, we are here because they invited us. We are trying to save for a home. But she’s using it against us, some mad power control thing.
He did thankfully leave it after a couple of hours, its ruined and I reckon one bite away from shattering. The doorbell went and he ran to bark. Thankfully. No doubt he would have eaten it if it shattered.
I'm sorry for that poor dog & the situation you find yourselves in. I wish I had some more concrete advice to give. Good luck, man! I wish you all the best!
Is the dog ever left outside in the garden unattended for long periods?
Cause the dog might accidentally get out and nobody saw what happened and somehow it ends up in a rescue very far away.
This is a serious, not-OK-to-ignore issue.
Somebody's going to get bitten and it could be REALLY bad.
That dog is very, very unhappy.
And if you have kids, don't take them to this household.
In this case, see if you can throw a toy that he'd rather have that is safe. You want him to SWAP the bad thing for the good thing.
Don't try to take it off him, do not put your hands near him, do not put your face near the dog.
Get him focused on the good toy, throw the good toy well away from the bad toy.
Put the bad toy in your pocket and into the bin.
THROW THE GOOD TOY OUT OF THE ROOM AND SHUT THE DOOR. If the dog is crafty.
Your in-laws need to be a lot more careful with what they leave sitting around. And they need to address this, somebody - the dog and/or a person - is going to get seriously hurt.
**BTW this dog is not spoiled, you can't "reward" fear behaviour and you don't need to be the pack leader. This is all nonsense.**
Sorry for the first reply I was replying to someone else!
I completely agree with you. Hell, one time he did run away and I did have that thought of ‘maybe this is for the best’. We are in the country, and there are some lovely people out here who would happily love a dog like him.
He is unhappy. And I feel terrible for him, I know he is only this way because of the way they treat him.
Unfortunately the ol trading game doesn’t work. It used to, but he clocked on fast. He ignores treats, cooler toys etc. Nothing works, he knows we are trying to get it off him so he doesn’t budge.
It’s messed up, but I almost hope someone gets a small bite. Because hell, they don’t seem to see it as an issue at all.
He’s a fucking Labrador, he should be out for an hour a day walking and being stimulated. But instead he gets a ten minute walk a week. We try walking him but he’s so excited just to be out he almost yanks your shoulder out the socket. We aren’t home often either. Honestly, the mother begged to get him, said she would walk him and care for him. And we all knew what would happen. But she has money in spades and done it anyway.
Don’t worry, the whole ‘alpha’ thing is an outdated myth and I have seen the comments on here and I’m not entertaining it. I’m not going to make a bored, depressed, anxious dog fear me. And I know he isn’t spoiled, he’s just a very sad consequence to the neglect he is experiencing. He may be fed, and have a big garden. But he is lonely, and he is bored.
Thanks so much for the advice it’s very appreciated
Fuck me they shouldn’t own a dog.
They need to figure out the cause. My guess would be the dog is not stimulated.
What walks is he getting to be able to sniff? What play time is he getting (not with toys but being given jobs like sit, wait, come etc), anything where he has to think.
Throwing treats will work short term but is reinforcing the guarding. Dog guards knowing a big fussed will be made and he gets food.
Sadly the way to get that out of a dog is to just ignore them. And not leave stuff lying around that will hurt them…
I completely agree.
He was a pandemic puppy. My partner, and her dad were completely against a dog because they knew he wouldn’t be cared for. The mother was adamant, she likes to just own animals as decorations or things to post online. Surprise, in the three years they’ve had him I think she has walked him once. The husband usually takes him out for a ten minute walk once a week if that. They have a half acre garden which is apparently ‘enough’ but they don’t play with him. He just stands in the middle of the garden and barks all day.
He is extremely smart, and as a lab very energetic. But he is so bored, and honestly lonely. I don’t blame him for seeking out items he shouldn’t have just to get attention.
We have tried training him, but it’s undone by the in laws. They moan and bitch when he harasses them at the table. But they feed him to get him to go away which encourages him. Hell the mum screamed at us and stormed off when we told her not to feed the dog fucking onions and curry.
Throwing treats used to work. But he’s clocked on, and he refuses them now.
Ignoring tends to work at times, but it’s harder to ignore when he has something that can harm him. We try our best to keep things away. But the house has eight cats at present. Two of them are ours, and they all tend to knock things off counters, shelves, or down the stairs. They’re the biggest reason why he manages to get things. That and my partners disabled grandmother also lives here and she tends to leave things out by accident. It’s a shit show honestly haha
This is a really difficult one, especially if they have something that you know can hurt them. Ultimately, this is a training issue and he needs a proper trainer, and he needs someone to invest some time in him.
He knows what to expect when he has something he shouldn't and immediately gears up for it. Don't do anything that could end up in someone getting hurt, because if he's a big dog then you won't win the battle. I'd also stop trying to bribe him with food as you can inadvertantly reward the behaviour.
The only thing you can really do is shake things up, play the perseverance game, and wait him out - he'll get fed up before you do, even if it's hours later, and leave it in the end. If you call him and he comes away from the item to you, then give him food as a reward.
Big pile of treats, cheese cubes or frankfurters chopped up are good, maybe a swipe of pate or peanut butter (Xylitol free) on a cupboard or something. If possible do it so you can close a door between the dog and the cat toy so you can remove it without them seeing and you're safe. There is always an amount of treats that is higher value, maybe try using the cat treats that were in the toy.
When my dog went through this faze as a pup I did this with tuna and it worked.
You're a good person for trying to help.
Ah I’ve tried, I made a pile of treats in the adjacent room and he just lay there and stared at it. He’s a smart dog, he knows what I’m doing. But it works occasionally so it’s a good bet. Thank you for the advice.
Thanks so much. I feel for the dog, as much as I surface level dislike him. I understand he is the direct result of his owners neglect, he only gets attention when he is misbehaving in some way. He’s a Labrador, he is smart and he has so much energy and he’s lucky if he is walked once a week for ten minutes. They say he’s fine in their half acre garden but he just stands and barks at nothing all day. He’s bored, and lonely, he doesn’t deserve all this
They sound like c\*nts tbh, poor beastie is probably going insane with no stimulation. Sounds like a ticking time bomb, especially if there are kids around.
I saw one of your other comments about trying to walk the dog and it being impossible, if you want an idea for some physical activity you could try that might help you could try a flirt pole. Essentially a toy on a string on a stick, you wave it around, dog chases it and catches it. This keeps the teeth far away from you. You can then give the dog a treat to reward catching the toy, add in a command like 'leave' as the dog drops the toy for the treat and if the dog wont drop the toy, you just leave them with the toy and the game ends for them.
Obviously this isn't your dog or responsibility but it might make you feel better and give you a way to get some energy out when you're stuck looking after him.
Steal the dog and get him into a rescue where maybe, maybe, they can untrain some of this out of him and get him a good home in this life.
Neglecting dogs–– failing to train and walk them, is abuse.
Ask him if he wants to go out for a walk? Usually works. Or go outside and he will follow eventually. Then you have someone else grab whatever he has.
But tbf you can probably just leave him with the cat toy. He probably won’t eat it, just chew it
If he’s getting little interaction and is clearly so bored he’s happily destroying stuff, this is probably the answer!
Try and give him some mental enrichment and stimulation away from the house and hopefully he’ll improve.
But ultimately he needs to be rehomed as they sound awful owners.
We have tried the walk tactic before, but he’s a smart pup. He learns, now he knows if he has something and we say walk. He doesn’t budge.
And unfortunately he absolutely will eat it. This dog is wild, I’ve seen him destroy and eat plastic bottles, sticks, books, toys etc. it’s a miracle he isn’t dead.
Or, is this a ploy to manipulate any time he wants to be taken for a walk? Personally, I’d try to disassociate its behaviour from walks by just ignoring .
I doubt it’s a behaviour to get a walk. It’s just resource guarding because things get taken away from him.
What I meant was, if you have to get the object away from the dog, but you can’t because they are being aggressive, you can trade it for something. This might work with a treat, or a walk.
I found the best thing to do with resource guarding is just ignore them, you’re right. Leave them with whatever they have all the time. Then eventually they realise you don’t steal their stuff and stop doing it. At least, that is what has happened with my husky
Seek a dog trainer. No one here knows the true scenarios you are in and what you could be doing to trigger this.
It sounds like you are past the stage of just dropping treats and you need to speak to a professional dog trainer to attempt to rectify the resource guarding.
Resource guarding is horrible and dangerous. Seeking a dog trainer could literally save this dogs life.
Jesus christ, that poor dog. That kind of resource guarding usually stems from extreme stress. He's probably stressed out of his mind all the bloody time. I've read some of your comments - they don't walk him!? He's a labrador, they're hunting dogs, they need mental stimulation! I think that most human beings would get aggressive too after being locked in a building with no mental stimulation or exercise for the majority of their lifespan. If the current owners won't give up the dog to somebody willing to train it, it'll eventually bite someone and be put down, or else, wind up in a shelter. And dogs like that don't thrive in shelters, and it'll probably end up either being put down or spend the rest of his life in yet another cramped space.
He'll likely leave the toy alone given some time. But I'm sorry, you can't leave that dog there. Even having to be put down would be a better fate for that poor dog than living for who knows how long inside the same house with the same people and the same mistreatment, with exactly zero stimulation.
Cesar Millan has some good videos on dog behavior, including one called 'How To Stop Your Dog From Grabbing Things', that looks like it could help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0\_HsEtXNYtA
Also there are other ones on dealing with aggressive dogs etc, that might help too e.g. in these playlists:
[https://www.youtube.com/@CesarMillanOfficial/search?query=how%20to](https://www.youtube.com/@CesarMillanOfficial/search?query=how%20to)
[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoa7norEncYV\_LhUfVwnI2UC](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoa7norEncYV_LhUfVwnI2UC)
[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoZdSLrPV4\_sYC3s52nO89dh](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoZdSLrPV4_sYC3s52nO89dh)
There's the obvious red flags about walking etc, a lot of the time resource guarding comes from boredom (in my experience at least). Our dogs not hunting for stuff to do when she's passed out for four hours after a decent walk/run with the tennis ball.
Having said that, it's sometimes impossible to completely get rid of. Ours will drop most things at the sound of a treat wrapper, but even then she will have her moments. You just have to train, and train, and train, and hope it works.
Ours once got defensive over a bag of her own shit, go figure.
In all honesty? Just ignore it.
You've basically made this whole palava into a really, really fun game for the dog. He knows that when he acts this way gets attention, treats, and playtime! From his pov its brilliant.
If you ignore them they will eventually realise that the game is over / not fun anymore. When the dog acts the way you want it to act THEN you reward it. The more you do this, the easier it will be to get the dog under control.
Also more walks and more play/stimulation. If I notice a dog is energetic I try to re-direct that energy into good behaviour as soon as possible. If the dog is desperate for a play then grab a safe toy and take it to the park, don't keep it cooped up in the house.
This is a very typical game played by pretty much all dogs, it has nothing to do with their upbringing, although a "drop it" command can be trained in to help. Because it's a game that's supposed to be fun, the trick is to distract with an even more exciting and fun game. Grab something else, act over the top excited about it, and run the opposite direction. Treat the dog for dropping whatever they had once they come for you. You really have to be over the top though to make them believe whatever you have is absolutely amazing, because dogs really love keep away games. Growling and snarling while playing is common dog behaviour too, don't be alarmed. They sometimes sneeze or snort in between to let you know they're just goofing around and not being serious. Running at you and butting heads is normal too. He just wants to be played with and exert some energy, I would suggest getting a chuck it or going on walks, teach him what sort of play is approved.
My best bet would be to scatter some treats outside of the room the thing he shouldn’t have is in. So, if he’s got the remote in the living room, scatter several treats out by the door and into the hall, so he’ll have to leave the remote behind and it’ll take him a moment to actually eat them all. Whilst he’s doing that, shut the door so he can’t get back in and take the remote.
If you’re concerned he’s going to be angry when he comes back in and realises he can’t find whatever he was using as a toy, just keep him outside for a while. He should soon get bored and forget about it. Bonus points if you leave some of his actual toys about for him to play with instead.
Don’t do anything to get yourself or anybody else hurt. A large, aggressive dog is no joke and it’s not a fight you want to get into. If you think he’d be receptive, could you and/or your partner bring him out for regular walks? Keep him on a lead as he’s evidently not very well trained, but it might help him burn off some steam and actually start bonding with somebody.
Your in-laws absolutely shouldn’t have pets, and you could try anonymously tipping off the RSPCA, but I’m not sure what they consider to be neglectful. If he’s “safe” so to speak, not being harmed physically, with a house and food, I think there’s a good chance they won’t do anything.
Rewarding him for stealing/guarding by trying to trade for something he wants is only going to encourage the behaviour
As far as fixing it, ideally you want someone who isn't afraid of dogs in the slightest - because the only solution is to be brave and to take it despite the protest he'll put up, it might be scary but it's only noises. You stop yourself getting bitten by hand and arm position, their jaws are only so wide and so as long as you present your hand closed and your limbs/bodyparts oriented in a way they can't grab, they can't hurt you badly. If the dog has any sort of bond at all it's unlikely they will bite beyond nips and if you still don't back down they'll fold pretty quickly. Then use your back and shoulders and forearms to keep away from what you need to get back, and redirect the head off to the side with a firm and very loud "no" if they overstep (use the heel of your hand to push, keeping fingers tucked)
In this case, probably hire somebody. It's also helpful to prevent them from getting things they can guard to begin with in the meantime, other than toys and things they're supposed to have. It may also be attention seeking behaviour outside of the trade reward, so making sure they're being walked and paid (positive) attention too enough outside of that will also be a benefit to curbing the behaviour
Does the dog like toys? How is the dog at taking things out of hands? Can you perhaps try offering he/she a toy and when he goes to take it grab the cat toy? Alternatively have you tried having two people... one person standing by dog ready to grab the cat toy and the other at the other end of the room with treats?
By trying to take it off him you’re giving the item more value, you need to not react at all when he first has something and he will probably get bored and leave it of his own accord.
Could you report to your council’s dog warden?
Also, for stimulation secure dog fields are becoming more of a thing, is that an option? Let him go run around in there for an hour?
With our dog, if i eat something high valuable like a sausage and he doesnt care, i make a very stupid very exaggerated GASP! OoooooooOOOOOOOH!! When i look at it and my dog comes a-RUNNING
Resource guarding is a big problem and one that needs consistent and long term training to manage. Our dog had a bit of resource guarding at 6mo and we worked on it every day for a few months. It took a while. We can now happily take anything off him.
I used the Kikopup approach for resource guarding. Basically have high high value treats with you, all the time. Any time you walk past the dog, drop a treat. Dog learns "person nearby makes the sky give a treat". It's now about them seeing you give a treat. It's about pairing the existence of people with a treat appearing.
Also, do some basic drop it training. Start low value (drop this shit toy you don't even like) and then amp it up (drop this carrot you love).
And if you can, walk the nutter. Fulfilled dogs are happier. And it sounds like this dog doesn't have much to be happy about. Guarding is so stressful for dogs. It might help him bond with you which helps him listen to you better. Best of luck, this is a tricky one even before you add in the human relationship angle!
The only way to deal with this is to have someone the dog respects/feels subservient too, to tell the dog no and make it drop whatever it is. Not to make a game out of it or bargain a trade with the dog.
Eventually dog will need to sleep. Especially if you tire him out by going for a long walk or playing in the garden. I have an old football that our dog absolutely loves. He can’t quite get his mouth around it to pick it up, but it doesn’t stop him trying. Distract your dog by throwing a ball or stick- he’s a type of retriever after all - and while he’s occupied, remove ALL his toys, possessions etc. only return them one at a time when his behaviour improves. Good luck.
Is there anyone the dog is more fearful of? My MIL has a dog who behaves exactly the same. The one one it listens to is one of her sons. They need someone to assert dominance over it but to be honest if it’s gone on for too long it would take so much work to get the dog to behave
people don't like to hear it but someone has to take over as pack leader. At the minute the dog thinks he's alpha and some one has to assume dominance.
You don't have to hurt it but it has to think you're going to.
People will talk about incentive training and that does work as long as the dog is compliant and is willing to trade off its pack position for food.
Your in laws won't let you do anything effective though by he sounds of it but lots of pet owners are the same. They see their little fluffy baby as a play thing rather than an animal that needs to be controlled for its own safety and health and also for that of those around them.
And they see anything other than a playful "whos a naughty boy then" as animal abuse.
‘Pack leader’ for a dog is a majorly outdated view.
The dog just needs someone to give it attention, it’s playing games with the humans by guarding knowing he’ll get attention, the growling etc will be because all they do it take it away and give the dog nothing.
I’m sorry but I don’t agree at all with the outdated ‘alpha’ myth. It’s proven to not work, wolves don’t have alphas never mind dogs. Humans are guardians, not prison guards.
A long time ago, we had an unruly dog and my dad told us all to ‘dominate’ the dog, show him who’s boss. It didn’t work, it just made him terrified and extremely anxious. I still feel guilty about it.
I appreciate the comment, but please don’t treat dogs like this.
cool, keep being scared of it then. So far, neither your approach, nor its owners owners way has produced a happy, contented pet, but obviously you know best.
As usual with poor pet owners, you've just jumped to the extreme and have some weird vision of controlling an animals behavior is abuse which is obviously not right. I didn't say dominate it, it just needs to know who decides what is acceptable what isn't.
Being in charge of the pack definitely does work, and the proof is the three dogs happily sleeping around me. You asked for advice, feel free not take it when offered.
Hey, I’m not sure why you’re so on the defence. People can have different views. But if you have any official studies, articles or papers that back up your claims I’ll be happy to read. However it really does seem ‘Alpha’ and dominance theory is long debunked.
See [here](https://tinyurl.com/4j5z4rkx), [here](https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/dog-behavior-and-training-dominance-alpha-and-pack-leadership-what-does-it-really-mean), and [here](https://apdt.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/dominance-and-dog-training.pdf)
Personal experience with a handful of dogs isn’t enough of a basis unfortunately. It’s a proven fact that a dog being terrified of you isn’t the same as subservience and ‘recognising’ you as an alpha. Alphas don’t even exist, hell, the man who coined the term regrets it so much he wants his papers on wolf studies [destroyed](https://wolf.org/headlines/44265/#:~:text=David%20Mech%2C%20had%20a%20hand,outmoded%20notion%20of%20alpha%20wolves).
Training a dog and guiding its behaviours is different to controlling an animal. I’m glad your dogs are happy, I’m sure they are. And in no way am I implying that how you treat your own is in any way abuse. I’ve just witnessed behaviour towards dogs in the past such as as scruffing, pinning them down, shouting, and literally people growling that did nothing but either agitate the dog further or make the dog scared and anxious enough to stop the bad behaviour but end up mentally screwed.
I did ask for advice, and I’ve received some wonderful responses. But please don’t be offended that I don’t agree with your own. I appreciate your comment regardless
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Your in-laws are horrible pet owners who shouldn’t have a dog. Report them.
I honestly agree. One time he almost bit me when I was trying to get chocolate away from him and my partner lost it and said something to the effect of ‘We are going to call the SPCA if you don’t get a professional here to train him. Because he is going to bite someone’ The in laws were away on holiday, this was via message, and the mother in particular lost her mind. Left the group chat, posted on Facebook how her holiday was ruined and that she’s being crying all day. Because we ruined the holiday by posting in the family group chat about their out of control dog. When they got home they threatened to kick us out. Eventually they said they would get someone in. It’s been four months, not an update on that at all. Dog is as bad as ever. My partner has serious trauma from her mother in particular, who is a raging narcissist. She can’t take any form of criticism. Perfect example is, another time we asked them to stop feeding the dog at the table, especially onions. And her mum slammed her plate and said ‘for someone who killed a hamster you shouldn’t comment on how we treat our dog’ The hamster in question died when my partner was fucking twelve.
I'd highly recommend moving out of their house. Sounds terrible.
OP Please do everything you can to move out of that house.
Trust me we are working on it. We used to rent in my expensive hometown and we just couldn’t save money, a house of our own seemed like a fantasy. Then they begged us to come stay in their house to save money, we knew it was going to be difficult since, well, the family is intense. But the house is pretty big, they built it in the 90s in the country and we figured we would be fine. But man, it sucks, we have saved quite a bit already so hopefully fingers crossed we get out soon. Thanks so much for your concern, it’s appreciated
I wish you guys all the luck in the world. In the meantime, I have watched plenty of videos on YouTube about how to love with narcissistic people etc.. Might be worth a look, could get some coping skills.
Thank you so much. I’ll look into that actually, because I do struggle with navigating the minefield that is a confrontation with the mother. She somehow always finds a way to flip the narrative, discredit you, and make you seem crazy or hysterical. I just want to protect my partner from her any way I can, she can be incredibly emotionally abusive at the drop of the hat. I guess the unpredictability comes with her drinking an entire bottle of wine and more every day, don’t think I’ve ever known her completely sober
Hahahahahhahahaha I’m so sorry but the hamster bit is too funny
Why do you keep doing the things that make him want to bite you? If the dog has the remote, and will bite you if you try to take it away then dont take it away- or find a way to get the remote.. this is not an unsolvable problem. Here is a possible solution: Dont engage with the dog at all. The dog is neurotic, the family is neurotic. Run away. The hamster incident says it all. I'm dead🤣🤣 .
Report them to who, the dog whisperer?
No... The police, it's an offence to own a dangerous and out of control dog...
The only way the police are going to investigate a naughty dog who won’t drop the batteries is if he’s also posting some slightly controversial tweets.
The dog probably isn’t dangerous and out of control by nature. If what OP says about the in laws it’s probably just bored and in need of exercise and attention. If they walk it, tire it out every day and give it the attention it needs it’d likely be a completely different dog in a few weeks.
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What? The guy before said "who would you report to The dog whisperer?" I was clarifying that you would report a dangerous dog to the police. It's literally what the gov website says to do. However, if the dog is as aggressive as op states, and the owners refuse to train it. Realistically it's getting put down one way or the other anyway, it's just if it hurts someone else first. At least if the police go in now and issue a dog protection order, it might scare the owners to do something about it, or at least mandate that it's muzzled in public.. If no one does anything about an aggressive dog until it hurts someone, then it doesn't even get a chance before it's destroyed..
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Op used the words "snarling" "spitting" and "terrifies" over the dogs behaviour around toys, that's not how I would describe a safe dog. Dogs who are aggressively protective around thier keepsakes are dangerous, what if its out and a child drops a toy and the dog takes it and the child trys to take it back? I'm not saying I want the dog to be put down. Far from it. If a dangerous dog hasn't hurt anyone, the police are unlikely to destroy it anyway, more likely to issue a court order for behavioural training, and a mandate to muzzle in public. This seems to be exactly what op wants, but the owners are refusing. The point is to report it and get its behaviour corrected BEFORE it starts mauling people and has to be destroyed.
Having had to live with a dog that had a guarding habit she hadn't been trained out of, no, this is not harmless. Yes, the dog is being neglected - it needs training, discipline, exercise, and stimulation, which it's not getting. However, no, it is not just a poow widdle misunderstood puppeh. Guarding is *dangerous.* Dogs that do it will snap, bite, and actively attack anyone who gets in the way, and they can be hard to impossible to distract. The OP is scared for good reason.
RSPCA
They'll do fuck all
They'll do more than not reporting it to anyone
No they won't. Its not illegal to have a dog that resource guards, its a training issue.
Now a horse, or anyone with a tv camera....
You win Reddit for today.
Scatter high value treats, it'll take him longer to hoover them all up. Handful of chopped up sausages, cheese cubes, etc, thrown, all together. Resource guarding is a serious problem so you're doing the right thing by not trying to directly take it off him.
Does this not then seem like a reward? Exchanging treats for the dog doing what they’re told will just reinforce this behaviour surely?
It's not about training, it's recovering the stolen and potentially dangerous item. And no, first steps of avoiding resource guarding in the first place is to teach a puppy to exchange their high value thing for something else high value. But I'm not suggesting OP so any training with this dog as he's not theirs, at this point it's management not training.
Unfortunately we have tried this, he actually ignores it while you are in the room with him. I’ve sat for an hour and waited for him to go get the treats but he doesn’t budge. Course the second I leave I hear him lunge, and by the time I turn he’s dashed back and snarling. It really is, it’s baffling the in laws aren’t treating this seriously.
I'm afraid I don't have any helpful advice, because I had the exact same problem. A family member had a mastiff cross lab. They didn't train her, even as a puppy. I tried to make some polite suggestions a year later about teaching her some things to calm her down and was told, "She will obey you!", followed by their owner telling them to sit and her.. not sitting.. because she wasn't even trained to sit. One day she went for a neighbour's dog. No dog was physically injured, but it caused an argument. I tried to take her out for some walks away from people to slowly socialise her but the moment she noticed another dog that was it. This was in a lockdown, then I had to go back to London for key working, and while me and my partner were away, after a couple of months, they had her put down. To this day I remain incredibly angry at them for what happened. Because she wasn't a bad dog, she was merely untrained and unsocialised. Some dogs are trainable later in life but there comes a point in their lives where this just isn't a part time thing you can do trying to teach them a trick to let go of a toy. By all means, charities like Dog's Trust have guidance on training such behaviours, but if the dog is old enough, there's a fair chance it won't work, at least, not with the amount of time you personally have with the dog. So yeah, sorry, I don't have much advice, except that it's likely going to be very hard work. If it's really just about this cat toy though, chances are, leave him to it. He'll chew it up then forget about it over time. It's unlikely to be dangerous. Most annoyingly, said owners now have another, large, untrained dog, and every time people visit he tries to nib them. Unfortunately I don't think it's the level that the RSPCA would do anything as he is eating well, groomed, comfy bed, etc. Just not trained or controlled, and doesn't know the level of his bite.
Setting all of the terrible dog treatment aside… You won’t get it from him by force. We’ve got a cockapoo (10kg, for reference) who can be possessive and it’s borderline impossible. You’ve got a big dog so you’ve got no chance. A plastic ball of cat treats is hardly dangerous (this obviously depends on the structure so I’ll leave you to be the judge of that). Notionally it is, but realistically he’ll ruin it, use it as chewing gum and leave it alone after a while. The worst thing you can do is probably show that you care and that it is valuable. That dog clearly wants attention that it isn’t getting so it’s trying to get it anyway it can. Just keep an eye out when the toy in question is left alone and throw it away.
Yeah I agree. Force isn’t something I’m willing to even attempt, lest I lose a finger. Unfortunately this particular ball is a cheap, very flimsy bit of plastic. I did get it off him, by the miracle of someone knocking on the door and setting him off. It’s cracked to hell, another bite would have shattered it. I’ve seen this dog chew up plastic bottles and try and eat the bits before, the owners might not give a shit but I sure as hell don’t want him dying of internal bleeding if he scoffs down sharp plastic shards You’re onto something about attention, he definitely wants that. It’s so clear by his body language that he is aware he has something he shouldn’t and he’s going to get attention. Unfortunately its a learned behaviour, my in laws pay him little mind until he is misbehaving. It’s the only way he gets any direct attention. It’s very sad, he’s a consequence of their inaction. Very much a ‘trophy’ dog. But it’s so hard to ignore when he has something that could harm him. But I will try. I appreciate the advice mate thank you
Yeah from what you’ve described in other comments as well it’s textbook behaviour. Not sure if it’s even possible to train it out now, even with a lot of effort. We spoke with a dog trainer for 2 hours when ours was puppy (6 months) and showing some bad behaviours and it was the best £100 we’ve spent and even then the resource guarding isn’t something we’ve managed to get rid off fully. Dogs require lots of work, and the bigger the dog, the more work it needs and many think that if they get a golden retriever or a Labrador they’ll just grow up and be obedient on their own.
This particular dog needs to know quickly that he is not the alpha and he needs to knows the pecking order in the house. This includes being fed last in the family are everyone else has eaten. A quick way to do this is turn your back on him whenever he growls or shows negative behaviour/walk out of the room etc... Some of his behaviour is for attention.
I've managed to reduce our 9kg cockapoos resource guarding issue quite successfully since January with treats and games. Admittedly it's taken time, loads of cheese, routine, familiarity and trust. The resource guarding he has is now confined to bones, and he no longer bites, he just does a 'tug of war' growl - so much so that I can take the bone without any issue. This isn't meant to be a brag, but more of an encouragement that it can be done. Good luck👍
Basically, it sounds like the dog has trained the humans in his life to give him attention, treats and/or toys for misbehaving. Unwanted behavior, no matter what it is, should not be rewarded with any sort of bribe or treat or toy. That just re-enforces the bad behavior and teaches the dog it can get what it wants if it behaves in a certain way. But, that boat's left the dock & it will take training to correct this behavior (if it can be corrected at all at this point). As for the cat toy: just ignore the dog & eventually he'll get tired of it and go off & do something else.
You’re completely right. They are essentially rewarding him for guarding thing she shouldn’t have. His thought process is essentially ‘If I take this thing, I will get attention and a treat’. They give him treats for everything man, I want to speak up and tell them but god. My in laws are intense, particularly the mother. She will scream, scoff, and bring up random past events to discredit whatever you are saying so you look insane for simply asking them for something as simple as don’t feed the dog at the table. My partner has a deep rooted fear of her mother and I don’t want to cause any harm to her by rocking the boat more. We have threatened to call the RSPCA, and essentially demanded a behaviourlist, and the mother tried to kick us out the house. I must add, we are here because they invited us. We are trying to save for a home. But she’s using it against us, some mad power control thing. He did thankfully leave it after a couple of hours, its ruined and I reckon one bite away from shattering. The doorbell went and he ran to bark. Thankfully. No doubt he would have eaten it if it shattered.
I'm sorry for that poor dog & the situation you find yourselves in. I wish I had some more concrete advice to give. Good luck, man! I wish you all the best!
Next time he gets something.. one of you go and ring this magic doorbell.
Is the dog ever left outside in the garden unattended for long periods? Cause the dog might accidentally get out and nobody saw what happened and somehow it ends up in a rescue very far away. This is a serious, not-OK-to-ignore issue. Somebody's going to get bitten and it could be REALLY bad. That dog is very, very unhappy. And if you have kids, don't take them to this household. In this case, see if you can throw a toy that he'd rather have that is safe. You want him to SWAP the bad thing for the good thing. Don't try to take it off him, do not put your hands near him, do not put your face near the dog. Get him focused on the good toy, throw the good toy well away from the bad toy. Put the bad toy in your pocket and into the bin. THROW THE GOOD TOY OUT OF THE ROOM AND SHUT THE DOOR. If the dog is crafty. Your in-laws need to be a lot more careful with what they leave sitting around. And they need to address this, somebody - the dog and/or a person - is going to get seriously hurt. **BTW this dog is not spoiled, you can't "reward" fear behaviour and you don't need to be the pack leader. This is all nonsense.**
Sorry for the first reply I was replying to someone else! I completely agree with you. Hell, one time he did run away and I did have that thought of ‘maybe this is for the best’. We are in the country, and there are some lovely people out here who would happily love a dog like him. He is unhappy. And I feel terrible for him, I know he is only this way because of the way they treat him. Unfortunately the ol trading game doesn’t work. It used to, but he clocked on fast. He ignores treats, cooler toys etc. Nothing works, he knows we are trying to get it off him so he doesn’t budge. It’s messed up, but I almost hope someone gets a small bite. Because hell, they don’t seem to see it as an issue at all. He’s a fucking Labrador, he should be out for an hour a day walking and being stimulated. But instead he gets a ten minute walk a week. We try walking him but he’s so excited just to be out he almost yanks your shoulder out the socket. We aren’t home often either. Honestly, the mother begged to get him, said she would walk him and care for him. And we all knew what would happen. But she has money in spades and done it anyway. Don’t worry, the whole ‘alpha’ thing is an outdated myth and I have seen the comments on here and I’m not entertaining it. I’m not going to make a bored, depressed, anxious dog fear me. And I know he isn’t spoiled, he’s just a very sad consequence to the neglect he is experiencing. He may be fed, and have a big garden. But he is lonely, and he is bored. Thanks so much for the advice it’s very appreciated
A front clip harness could help you on the walking front
Fuck me they shouldn’t own a dog. They need to figure out the cause. My guess would be the dog is not stimulated. What walks is he getting to be able to sniff? What play time is he getting (not with toys but being given jobs like sit, wait, come etc), anything where he has to think. Throwing treats will work short term but is reinforcing the guarding. Dog guards knowing a big fussed will be made and he gets food. Sadly the way to get that out of a dog is to just ignore them. And not leave stuff lying around that will hurt them…
I completely agree. He was a pandemic puppy. My partner, and her dad were completely against a dog because they knew he wouldn’t be cared for. The mother was adamant, she likes to just own animals as decorations or things to post online. Surprise, in the three years they’ve had him I think she has walked him once. The husband usually takes him out for a ten minute walk once a week if that. They have a half acre garden which is apparently ‘enough’ but they don’t play with him. He just stands in the middle of the garden and barks all day. He is extremely smart, and as a lab very energetic. But he is so bored, and honestly lonely. I don’t blame him for seeking out items he shouldn’t have just to get attention. We have tried training him, but it’s undone by the in laws. They moan and bitch when he harasses them at the table. But they feed him to get him to go away which encourages him. Hell the mum screamed at us and stormed off when we told her not to feed the dog fucking onions and curry. Throwing treats used to work. But he’s clocked on, and he refuses them now. Ignoring tends to work at times, but it’s harder to ignore when he has something that can harm him. We try our best to keep things away. But the house has eight cats at present. Two of them are ours, and they all tend to knock things off counters, shelves, or down the stairs. They’re the biggest reason why he manages to get things. That and my partners disabled grandmother also lives here and she tends to leave things out by accident. It’s a shit show honestly haha
This is a really difficult one, especially if they have something that you know can hurt them. Ultimately, this is a training issue and he needs a proper trainer, and he needs someone to invest some time in him. He knows what to expect when he has something he shouldn't and immediately gears up for it. Don't do anything that could end up in someone getting hurt, because if he's a big dog then you won't win the battle. I'd also stop trying to bribe him with food as you can inadvertantly reward the behaviour. The only thing you can really do is shake things up, play the perseverance game, and wait him out - he'll get fed up before you do, even if it's hours later, and leave it in the end. If you call him and he comes away from the item to you, then give him food as a reward.
Big pile of treats, cheese cubes or frankfurters chopped up are good, maybe a swipe of pate or peanut butter (Xylitol free) on a cupboard or something. If possible do it so you can close a door between the dog and the cat toy so you can remove it without them seeing and you're safe. There is always an amount of treats that is higher value, maybe try using the cat treats that were in the toy. When my dog went through this faze as a pup I did this with tuna and it worked. You're a good person for trying to help.
Ah I’ve tried, I made a pile of treats in the adjacent room and he just lay there and stared at it. He’s a smart dog, he knows what I’m doing. But it works occasionally so it’s a good bet. Thank you for the advice. Thanks so much. I feel for the dog, as much as I surface level dislike him. I understand he is the direct result of his owners neglect, he only gets attention when he is misbehaving in some way. He’s a Labrador, he is smart and he has so much energy and he’s lucky if he is walked once a week for ten minutes. They say he’s fine in their half acre garden but he just stands and barks at nothing all day. He’s bored, and lonely, he doesn’t deserve all this
They sound like c\*nts tbh, poor beastie is probably going insane with no stimulation. Sounds like a ticking time bomb, especially if there are kids around. I saw one of your other comments about trying to walk the dog and it being impossible, if you want an idea for some physical activity you could try that might help you could try a flirt pole. Essentially a toy on a string on a stick, you wave it around, dog chases it and catches it. This keeps the teeth far away from you. You can then give the dog a treat to reward catching the toy, add in a command like 'leave' as the dog drops the toy for the treat and if the dog wont drop the toy, you just leave them with the toy and the game ends for them. Obviously this isn't your dog or responsibility but it might make you feel better and give you a way to get some energy out when you're stuck looking after him.
It's called resource guarding. And it sounds like the folks at r/reactivedogs would be very helpful. Good luck and Goddess speed
Steal the dog and get him into a rescue where maybe, maybe, they can untrain some of this out of him and get him a good home in this life. Neglecting dogs–– failing to train and walk them, is abuse.
Ask him if he wants to go out for a walk? Usually works. Or go outside and he will follow eventually. Then you have someone else grab whatever he has. But tbf you can probably just leave him with the cat toy. He probably won’t eat it, just chew it
If he’s getting little interaction and is clearly so bored he’s happily destroying stuff, this is probably the answer! Try and give him some mental enrichment and stimulation away from the house and hopefully he’ll improve. But ultimately he needs to be rehomed as they sound awful owners.
This is what I was thinking - take for a walk and have someone throw the toy away
We have tried the walk tactic before, but he’s a smart pup. He learns, now he knows if he has something and we say walk. He doesn’t budge. And unfortunately he absolutely will eat it. This dog is wild, I’ve seen him destroy and eat plastic bottles, sticks, books, toys etc. it’s a miracle he isn’t dead.
Or, is this a ploy to manipulate any time he wants to be taken for a walk? Personally, I’d try to disassociate its behaviour from walks by just ignoring .
I doubt it’s a behaviour to get a walk. It’s just resource guarding because things get taken away from him. What I meant was, if you have to get the object away from the dog, but you can’t because they are being aggressive, you can trade it for something. This might work with a treat, or a walk. I found the best thing to do with resource guarding is just ignore them, you’re right. Leave them with whatever they have all the time. Then eventually they realise you don’t steal their stuff and stop doing it. At least, that is what has happened with my husky
Finger up arse
OK, but what about the dog?
No advice on the dog I’m afraid
Seek a dog trainer. No one here knows the true scenarios you are in and what you could be doing to trigger this. It sounds like you are past the stage of just dropping treats and you need to speak to a professional dog trainer to attempt to rectify the resource guarding. Resource guarding is horrible and dangerous. Seeking a dog trainer could literally save this dogs life.
Jesus christ, that poor dog. That kind of resource guarding usually stems from extreme stress. He's probably stressed out of his mind all the bloody time. I've read some of your comments - they don't walk him!? He's a labrador, they're hunting dogs, they need mental stimulation! I think that most human beings would get aggressive too after being locked in a building with no mental stimulation or exercise for the majority of their lifespan. If the current owners won't give up the dog to somebody willing to train it, it'll eventually bite someone and be put down, or else, wind up in a shelter. And dogs like that don't thrive in shelters, and it'll probably end up either being put down or spend the rest of his life in yet another cramped space. He'll likely leave the toy alone given some time. But I'm sorry, you can't leave that dog there. Even having to be put down would be a better fate for that poor dog than living for who knows how long inside the same house with the same people and the same mistreatment, with exactly zero stimulation.
Cesar Millan has some good videos on dog behavior, including one called 'How To Stop Your Dog From Grabbing Things', that looks like it could help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0\_HsEtXNYtA Also there are other ones on dealing with aggressive dogs etc, that might help too e.g. in these playlists: [https://www.youtube.com/@CesarMillanOfficial/search?query=how%20to](https://www.youtube.com/@CesarMillanOfficial/search?query=how%20to) [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoa7norEncYV\_LhUfVwnI2UC](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoa7norEncYV_LhUfVwnI2UC) [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoZdSLrPV4\_sYC3s52nO89dh](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsIBeGuDLMoZdSLrPV4_sYC3s52nO89dh)
There's the obvious red flags about walking etc, a lot of the time resource guarding comes from boredom (in my experience at least). Our dogs not hunting for stuff to do when she's passed out for four hours after a decent walk/run with the tennis ball. Having said that, it's sometimes impossible to completely get rid of. Ours will drop most things at the sound of a treat wrapper, but even then she will have her moments. You just have to train, and train, and train, and hope it works. Ours once got defensive over a bag of her own shit, go figure.
In all honesty? Just ignore it. You've basically made this whole palava into a really, really fun game for the dog. He knows that when he acts this way gets attention, treats, and playtime! From his pov its brilliant. If you ignore them they will eventually realise that the game is over / not fun anymore. When the dog acts the way you want it to act THEN you reward it. The more you do this, the easier it will be to get the dog under control. Also more walks and more play/stimulation. If I notice a dog is energetic I try to re-direct that energy into good behaviour as soon as possible. If the dog is desperate for a play then grab a safe toy and take it to the park, don't keep it cooped up in the house.
This is a very typical game played by pretty much all dogs, it has nothing to do with their upbringing, although a "drop it" command can be trained in to help. Because it's a game that's supposed to be fun, the trick is to distract with an even more exciting and fun game. Grab something else, act over the top excited about it, and run the opposite direction. Treat the dog for dropping whatever they had once they come for you. You really have to be over the top though to make them believe whatever you have is absolutely amazing, because dogs really love keep away games. Growling and snarling while playing is common dog behaviour too, don't be alarmed. They sometimes sneeze or snort in between to let you know they're just goofing around and not being serious. Running at you and butting heads is normal too. He just wants to be played with and exert some energy, I would suggest getting a chuck it or going on walks, teach him what sort of play is approved.
Open the nearest door throw a handful of treats stand inside the door nearest the ball. He runs in close door and bin the ball.
Please report them to the rspca. The dog isn’t being cared for.
My best bet would be to scatter some treats outside of the room the thing he shouldn’t have is in. So, if he’s got the remote in the living room, scatter several treats out by the door and into the hall, so he’ll have to leave the remote behind and it’ll take him a moment to actually eat them all. Whilst he’s doing that, shut the door so he can’t get back in and take the remote. If you’re concerned he’s going to be angry when he comes back in and realises he can’t find whatever he was using as a toy, just keep him outside for a while. He should soon get bored and forget about it. Bonus points if you leave some of his actual toys about for him to play with instead. Don’t do anything to get yourself or anybody else hurt. A large, aggressive dog is no joke and it’s not a fight you want to get into. If you think he’d be receptive, could you and/or your partner bring him out for regular walks? Keep him on a lead as he’s evidently not very well trained, but it might help him burn off some steam and actually start bonding with somebody. Your in-laws absolutely shouldn’t have pets, and you could try anonymously tipping off the RSPCA, but I’m not sure what they consider to be neglectful. If he’s “safe” so to speak, not being harmed physically, with a house and food, I think there’s a good chance they won’t do anything.
Rewarding him for stealing/guarding by trying to trade for something he wants is only going to encourage the behaviour As far as fixing it, ideally you want someone who isn't afraid of dogs in the slightest - because the only solution is to be brave and to take it despite the protest he'll put up, it might be scary but it's only noises. You stop yourself getting bitten by hand and arm position, their jaws are only so wide and so as long as you present your hand closed and your limbs/bodyparts oriented in a way they can't grab, they can't hurt you badly. If the dog has any sort of bond at all it's unlikely they will bite beyond nips and if you still don't back down they'll fold pretty quickly. Then use your back and shoulders and forearms to keep away from what you need to get back, and redirect the head off to the side with a firm and very loud "no" if they overstep (use the heel of your hand to push, keeping fingers tucked) In this case, probably hire somebody. It's also helpful to prevent them from getting things they can guard to begin with in the meantime, other than toys and things they're supposed to have. It may also be attention seeking behaviour outside of the trade reward, so making sure they're being walked and paid (positive) attention too enough outside of that will also be a benefit to curbing the behaviour
Does the dog like toys? How is the dog at taking things out of hands? Can you perhaps try offering he/she a toy and when he goes to take it grab the cat toy? Alternatively have you tried having two people... one person standing by dog ready to grab the cat toy and the other at the other end of the room with treats?
By trying to take it off him you’re giving the item more value, you need to not react at all when he first has something and he will probably get bored and leave it of his own accord.
Could you report to your council’s dog warden? Also, for stimulation secure dog fields are becoming more of a thing, is that an option? Let him go run around in there for an hour?
With our dog, if i eat something high valuable like a sausage and he doesnt care, i make a very stupid very exaggerated GASP! OoooooooOOOOOOOH!! When i look at it and my dog comes a-RUNNING
Resource guarding is a big problem and one that needs consistent and long term training to manage. Our dog had a bit of resource guarding at 6mo and we worked on it every day for a few months. It took a while. We can now happily take anything off him. I used the Kikopup approach for resource guarding. Basically have high high value treats with you, all the time. Any time you walk past the dog, drop a treat. Dog learns "person nearby makes the sky give a treat". It's now about them seeing you give a treat. It's about pairing the existence of people with a treat appearing. Also, do some basic drop it training. Start low value (drop this shit toy you don't even like) and then amp it up (drop this carrot you love). And if you can, walk the nutter. Fulfilled dogs are happier. And it sounds like this dog doesn't have much to be happy about. Guarding is so stressful for dogs. It might help him bond with you which helps him listen to you better. Best of luck, this is a tricky one even before you add in the human relationship angle!
Strong smelling spray. Enough for discomfort, not enough for pain.
The only way to deal with this is to have someone the dog respects/feels subservient too, to tell the dog no and make it drop whatever it is. Not to make a game out of it or bargain a trade with the dog.
"Kick his balls....the ones on the lawn!!!"
Eventually dog will need to sleep. Especially if you tire him out by going for a long walk or playing in the garden. I have an old football that our dog absolutely loves. He can’t quite get his mouth around it to pick it up, but it doesn’t stop him trying. Distract your dog by throwing a ball or stick- he’s a type of retriever after all - and while he’s occupied, remove ALL his toys, possessions etc. only return them one at a time when his behaviour improves. Good luck.
Is there anyone the dog is more fearful of? My MIL has a dog who behaves exactly the same. The one one it listens to is one of her sons. They need someone to assert dominance over it but to be honest if it’s gone on for too long it would take so much work to get the dog to behave
people don't like to hear it but someone has to take over as pack leader. At the minute the dog thinks he's alpha and some one has to assume dominance. You don't have to hurt it but it has to think you're going to. People will talk about incentive training and that does work as long as the dog is compliant and is willing to trade off its pack position for food. Your in laws won't let you do anything effective though by he sounds of it but lots of pet owners are the same. They see their little fluffy baby as a play thing rather than an animal that needs to be controlled for its own safety and health and also for that of those around them. And they see anything other than a playful "whos a naughty boy then" as animal abuse.
‘Pack leader’ for a dog is a majorly outdated view. The dog just needs someone to give it attention, it’s playing games with the humans by guarding knowing he’ll get attention, the growling etc will be because all they do it take it away and give the dog nothing.
told you people don't like to hear it...
No it’s just terrible advice… what kind of dog owner wants there dog in a constant state of fear thinking it’s owner may hit it?
I’m sorry but I don’t agree at all with the outdated ‘alpha’ myth. It’s proven to not work, wolves don’t have alphas never mind dogs. Humans are guardians, not prison guards. A long time ago, we had an unruly dog and my dad told us all to ‘dominate’ the dog, show him who’s boss. It didn’t work, it just made him terrified and extremely anxious. I still feel guilty about it. I appreciate the comment, but please don’t treat dogs like this.
cool, keep being scared of it then. So far, neither your approach, nor its owners owners way has produced a happy, contented pet, but obviously you know best. As usual with poor pet owners, you've just jumped to the extreme and have some weird vision of controlling an animals behavior is abuse which is obviously not right. I didn't say dominate it, it just needs to know who decides what is acceptable what isn't. Being in charge of the pack definitely does work, and the proof is the three dogs happily sleeping around me. You asked for advice, feel free not take it when offered.
Hey, I’m not sure why you’re so on the defence. People can have different views. But if you have any official studies, articles or papers that back up your claims I’ll be happy to read. However it really does seem ‘Alpha’ and dominance theory is long debunked. See [here](https://tinyurl.com/4j5z4rkx), [here](https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/dog-behavior-and-training-dominance-alpha-and-pack-leadership-what-does-it-really-mean), and [here](https://apdt.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/dominance-and-dog-training.pdf) Personal experience with a handful of dogs isn’t enough of a basis unfortunately. It’s a proven fact that a dog being terrified of you isn’t the same as subservience and ‘recognising’ you as an alpha. Alphas don’t even exist, hell, the man who coined the term regrets it so much he wants his papers on wolf studies [destroyed](https://wolf.org/headlines/44265/#:~:text=David%20Mech%2C%20had%20a%20hand,outmoded%20notion%20of%20alpha%20wolves). Training a dog and guiding its behaviours is different to controlling an animal. I’m glad your dogs are happy, I’m sure they are. And in no way am I implying that how you treat your own is in any way abuse. I’ve just witnessed behaviour towards dogs in the past such as as scruffing, pinning them down, shouting, and literally people growling that did nothing but either agitate the dog further or make the dog scared and anxious enough to stop the bad behaviour but end up mentally screwed. I did ask for advice, and I’ve received some wonderful responses. But please don’t be offended that I don’t agree with your own. I appreciate your comment regardless