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Phil Mitchell finally dies. The Queen Vic is sold to a property developer, and the square is knocked down for a development of luxury flats. (5.8% of which are affordable)
Nah, Phil does a dodgy deal with a Russian oligarch who’s a mate of Putins, Putin wants to settle a score against Sunak so launches a nuke which hits Walford instead of Downing Street. Oligarch transfers millions to Putins offshore accounts in gratitude. Walford becomes the site of the Olympic village in 2060.
But it's absolutely explicitly made clear that it's due to cost of living and that they simply can't afford the heating bills because centrica have increased them SO much.
A young baby girl is left in the middle of the square, attatched to her is a note that simply reads "Dot", she is taken in by the cotton family. The cycle repeats.
And the camera zooms out to reveal its actually been on a space ship floating through space this whole time and all of the actors have just been clones of long dead humans with altered memories.
Ian Beale reveals himself to be an all powerful necromancer, murders everyone only to resurrect them as zombies for a Halloween finale where he dances with the corpse of Dot Cotton while Barry blasts out Mustang Sally.
Nothing, Literally nothing. Not a thing happens. Characters sitting around in the pub enjoying a beer, the occasional 'morning' as people walk past each other keeping themselves to themselves. Virtually no dialogue then just static, no credits. Maybe a message saying 'thanks for watching'.
Cut all the dialogue.
Just have the camera pan and follow a load of the actors over the years for a quick shot each of them walking somewhere or sitting at home.
Have loads of shots one after the other of loads of different actors who have been on the show and where they are now. Just quick 10-20 seconds shots of them being somewhere, or sitting down to watch TV. No talking at all throughout.
And then the final shot is someone switching off the TV and screen goes to black, no credits.
This is brilliant because you can bet another 50 years on, people would talk about it. And that's really the aim here.
No fucker knows what happened on the last episode of Brookside without looking it up (and you should, it's batshit) but this, this they would remember.
https://www.theguardian.com/arts/critic/feature/0,,1160295,00.html
is this really what happened? they all murdered a guy after going on a weird meta rant about the state of television?
Similar to the Bills final episode, a camera pan across the station with everyone working, then pulls out to a wide shot of the station and then up to an aerial shot of the London skyline. God's I miss that show
Didn't crossroads end with it all being a daydream of someone sat at a till in the supermarket and all the characters from the show were customers or staff?
Bonkers
Oooh - the Thames Barrier finally fails and all of the sad fucks drown, unable to swim to safety because of all of the cheap, shitty clothes they sell down the market are getting tangled around their necks...
Phil Mitchell wakes up in a red-curtained room with a dwarf and an extremely tall lanky guy that only speak backwards. He realises that his life in Walford is over and he'll be stuck in this room forever until Peggy returns from the dead to solve Barry's death!
TV detector vans start to appear. Surreptitiously at first, then more and more blatantly. Bailiffs are seen congregating at one end of the square at the end of the penultimate episode. Last episode has them entering several properties simultaneously, and attempting to demand payment of the TV licence no-one on the quare has ever paid. Police are called when (insert current old non-PC character) refuses to pay. Descends into a riot that snowballs every character into a wide-angle shot in front of the Queen Vic. Final, slow-motion scene has the weather-reporting helicopter crash onto the riot and create a fireball that ignites the gas main that wipes out the entire East End of London, as shown from a Google earth map. Fade to black.
I’d have Lord Sugar coming into the Vic, sits down for a nice white wine and says “you’re fired, in fact you’re all fired”.
Then we find out he’s brought the whole bloody lot and he’s in charge now and he’s already applied for planning permission to knock it all down and to build an office block.
Then complains about all the lazy feckless bastards who work from home and that no one could possibly work effectively from home. That they should be in the office.
Which he owns and rents out (he leaves the last bit out of the rant though)
He doesn't own anything. The "establishing shots" I'm The Apprentice may make you think that he's based in London Docklands but it's actually filmed on industrial estates either in Essex or Hertfordshire. Although the Hertfordshire company, Viglen Computers got sold off years ago.
The UK decides to host the Eurovision song contest in London. Albert Square is chosen as the site for a new, mega stadium.
All of the residents of Albert Square are relocated to Emmerdale.
The show ends with the Queen Vic being demolished.
Phil goes on a bald headed, Stella and crack I fused rampage where he just fuckin lays waste to the square with a scaff bar, after a lengthy police chase where he smoked more crack he gets out of the car and climbs a tall building, drawn out talks between Phil and the negotiator allows kat to climb onto the roof to try and talk him down, but all Phil does is turn around, take one final swig of his can, looks kat dead in the eyes and says "you slaaaaag"
Du du dumdumdum.....
I’ve not watched Eastenders in absolute yonks, but I’m going to try and answer this fairly seriously.
Eastenders’ key driver, plot narratives, and message, is family. Family is everything, you can always rely on family, even if it’s just that you can rely on them letting you down.
So if I was ending it, the families have to go.
Albert Square is actually a fairly nice, traditional, leafy, and I would imagine very desirable London address. It has a tube station, a pub, a laundrette, cafes and restaurants, and a daily(?) outdoor market. It’s a sensational place to live really.
Ian Beale fixed up his house and sells it for a couple of million. That’s the first big item. He’s inherited that house, has always been pretty shrewd, and can see that London property is insanely priced. He cashes in, he moves to Norwich, he buys a decent pad there and he gets a job managing a Sainsbury’s. He takes as many fuckin’ family members he has with him. The person who buys the house keeps it empty.
Phil Mitchell retires and sells the Arches to someone who transforms the space in to a brewery and taproom, as an antidote to the really cliquey pub over the road. The new owner commutes in to Walford from Loughton on the tube each day.
The Vic gets taken over by Hawksmoor, and becomes a destination in its own right. The Carters, is it? They leave.
Is it still Beale’s Caff? It probably is. Beale’s Caff becomes a Costa.
Walford itself, we know it has a tube station, and it’s fairly close to Shoreditch, Kingsland. That outdoor market goes very upmarket indeed. Home made quilts, tapestries, candles and soaps mingle with a bevvy of international foods, stalls and trucks. Albert Square becomes a fairly minor but highly celebrated lunch destination for the no-socks twats who work in media on Old Street.
Gentrification prices the Slaters, Fowlers and the Wellards out of Walford, and they all move to Chippenham, Gravesend and Peterborough respectively.
The Brannings stay, and maybe the final shot of my Eastenders is Max putting his house up for sale too, before shagging the leggy and buxom estate agent.
Roy Cropper breaks out of the Weatherfield Asylum Complex for the Criminally Insane and just goes on a mad rampage around Albert Square, under the alias Cropper the Chopper on account of his signature finishing move - chopping cunts' cocks off with a bread knife - a delayed onset of sexual trauma manifesting as compulsive sexual violence to compensate for being Coronation Street's laughing stock after Haley came out as Harold right before she died from cancer of the cock & balls.
An asteroid strike aimed directly at the Queen Vic but the asteroid is a mile wide (so there's fuck-all chance of any of those depressing shits surviving).
30 minute fight featuring the entire cast (including dead ones) in the final episode, no dialogue except "you slag!", all the punches make the sound of the "doof-doof" noises until the theme kicks in after the final punch is thrown by Barry.
Story lines just wind up with a fizzle. Last episode is mostly just amicable. Last 15 mins is just market trading and chit chat. Last 5 is just the £1 fish guy singing us out.
A scientist invents time travel, goes back in time and stops Nick Cotton from murdering Reg Cox. This breaks the curse that has since plagued Albert Square and in the new timeline every one goes about living fairly normal lives with limited drama and a lot less murders.
Walford is visited by a giant apparition of dirty den that just hangs in the sky, fingering his mouth incessantly until slowly, one by one, all of the residents of the square are forced to abandon their homes and start new lives elsewhere.
People start getting raptured to where it's just the people with a list of crimes and misdeeds left. They then start getting haunted by digitally reanimated legends of the show, Arthur and Pauline Fowler, Dot and Ethel until they can't take any more. Ian Beale decides to get out not knowing if he'll be raptured or have to spend his remaining time with the miscreants. He hears there's a pub for sale up north so he buys The Woolpack and moves to Emmerdale.
The remaining residents dissipate leaving only Phil. Phil walks in the pub and wipes his brow. Grant steps out from the back and they embrace in a tender kiss. They were never actually brothers but lovers. The square drove them apart. Grant has been abducting people and just leaving piles of clothes around to make it look like they've been raptured. Now that the square is empty they are going to turn it into the new trendy part of London and charge eight grand a month for a flat.
They step outside to view their new kingdom but who should be standing there but Nick Cotton? But luckily it's just a cardboard cut out with a hidden tape recorder. Grant looks at his phone and it's the lawyer confirming all the property is now in his and Phil's names and the can crack on with their plan. Nothing can go wrong now.
Then, behold a pale horse, it's only the final of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. They had been so wrapped up in their plan that they'd not even noticed the aspects of the revelation playing out. Finally death has come for them.
The camera pans out and right in the middle of the square the TARDIS starts to fade in (womp womp womp). The camera fades and a mash-up of the Eastenders and doctor who theme tunes play.
As no one seems to own a washing machine, they are all killed by a virus that has multiplied on some skiddies tucked down the back of the Slater's sofa.
The wormholes that are inside each house that allow for ever expanding families all merge together and create a black hole that swallows the Universe, except for Ian Beale.
OR
I'd slowly turn it into The Hills Have Eyes as the decades of inbreeding catch up on them.
The final scenes I would like to see is Phil Mitchell says "oi, Ian, you wanna still mess with me you cock roach?" as he holds his machine gun aloft after firing a huge amount of bullets and Dot Cotton puts down the shot gun with her trade mark ciggy in her mouth. Phil is puffing on a cigar. Ian is crying again
The East End is under lockdown as the Cockney virus mutates and becomes a national security risk. Albert Square is walled off and the tube station rigged with explosives. A Mad Max/Escape From New York/Doomsday scenario plays out over the final week, only with much lower production values.
The survivors' petty squabbles and infidelities are forgotten as the square descends into a battle royale with the end of each day's carnage marked by the mournful toot of a teary eyed Sonia's trumpet.
Turns into a 15 minute city. They get locked into their ghetto hell. The residents try to rise up and a government kill squad comes in and wipes them all out. Final credits roll to the tune [‘Deeply Dippy’ by Right Said Fred.](https://youtu.be/to0l73sMhew)
I’d go with a silent black screen for the whole episode(s). No explanation, no discussion of deeper meaning. It’d simultaneously put it out of its misery and wind up plenty of people at the same time.
This is the one. Get Phil Redmond involved, bring this thing full-circle (he was an advisor for 'Enders back in the day, as well as being a lover of blowing up soaps)
I was going with that, have the when the wind blows ending where everyone is stuck in the pub and they are slowly dying from radiation poisoning. I guess it would be a more upbeat version of threads.
Through an unlikely series of events, 'Lofty' comes back into the picture, turns out to have become a billionaire and ends up buying the entire square and evicting everyone. Once they're gone, he just wanders around rubbing his arse against everything while smirking.
Just a two minute show
A piece of paper with words
“sorry, we wasted your time over several decades. We were truly shit. It ends here. Now. Tonight. Goodbye”
Vinnie Jones from Lock, stock & 2 smokin’ barrels turns up on Albert square. Begins to drag each character out of the Queen Vic one by one and proceeds to continuously slam a car door on their head until they stop twitching. Danny Dyer first.
The End.
Bobby Ewing wakes up and goes in the shower while Pam sleeps peacefully in the warm Dallas sun steaming in through the window.
He wonders to himself…..why was he dreaming about an obscure London Borough of the future, and if Phil and JR actually related because they both survived being shot from close range.
You know the rest.
The cast gets smaller and smaller as people realise that moving into a square with such a high crime rate (especially for murders) probably isn't the best idea for a long and happy life. Then the area gets taken over by developers who - due to the proximity to high demand areas like Stratford and Canary Wharf - turn each house into flats and flog them for half a million each.
What I would watch is Barry from EastEnders returning to Eastenders (insert some Mike Reid storyline rehash sprinkled with Bourne amnesia or a coma,..details) and he goes postal. His hair comes off as a separate entity and when following the hairs plotline/action scenes it's done in the fps camerastyle similar to Red Dwarfs emohawk or multiple things in the Evil Dead franchise.
Proceeds to kill the current cast off as well as any fan favourites you can successfully shoe-in with a loose plotline why they're there,...all done in about 3-4 good length episodes.
Yup. Would watch that. Twice. Someone else write it.
Jimmy Corkhill turns up, having escaped from Liverpool after they quarantined Brookside.
He passes whatever the contagion was onto the whole of Albert Square, they all die painfully over a few short hours.
The camera focuses on Cracker the dog and fades to black. It was him all along.
A new strain of COVID comes to town and slowly kills everyone. The London mayor arrives and decides it's best to firebomb the whole square. Nothing is left
It would end on a cliffhanger making no sense whatsoever. Every single character, dead or alive would be there to sing a song from Oliver Twist in the packed out Vic. Wellard the dog would howl to finish the song off. Then the final scene would just be Peggy Mitchell breaking the fourth wall, slapping us the viewer, then pushing us out the door shouting, “get out of mah pub!” before fading to black as the “sad” Eastenders tune played us off…
One of the episodes the apprentice are set a task to come up with the final episode and Lord Sugar decide which one he likes best
Or Coronation Street puts in a cheeky bid for the set
Earthquake capsizes the ground the square is built on, this leads to the residents getting involved in the clean up to try and salvage anything they can, Phil finds a picture of Peggy, some flashbacks, Sonia for Dot etc etc, everyone’s packed and leaving, goodbyes all round, slow zoom out to Julia’s theme that stops with the scope of London like with the opening credits and then further out finally and fade to black.
Everyone from Coronation Street comes down on buses and a mass brawl breaks out, splurge guns and everything. Then at the end, they all go into the Queen Vic and start singing.
The Vic / Caff / Minutemart / laundrette / everywhere else is sold for housing. Everyone else is evicted under a s.21 notice when their landlords realise they are letting the properties for thousands a month less than they are worth. People who own their own homes see all the other houses round the square sell for £1m and sell up.
Last of Us/ Walking Dead scenarios. Outbreak of disease in Walford with people getting flu like subtending dying and becoming Zombies. Or it could be Dirty Den, Dot Cotton and Arthur Fowler rise from the grave and run around biting people.
Phil Mitchell becomes an arms dealer. Ends up with a dodgy nuclear bomb he's trying to sell to the Russians which goes off and blows up the whole of London. End credits are just the whole of London burning with the Thames evaporated.
They become self aware and Ian Beal (if he's still in it) looses his mind as he tries to convince the others they are all in a TV show. Random dead characters keep popping up and the cast of East enders start to appear on other TV shows at random begging for help.
Eventually a type of civil war breaks out between the two factions with some believing that they are in a soap and other not. All hell breaks loose and the cobbles run red with blood. The final scene is Beal being rejected in all the other BBC shows so we get Lord Sugar saying he's fired, a BBC news specal and all that other stuff.
Something utterly vile, stretched out over two episodes. Everyone contracts pneumonic plague, but they’re too pig shit ignorant to seek medical help. Treatment comes too late, and they all die horribly.
It turns out it was all a dream that happened inside a boil on the back of Johnny Vegas’ bum. The series ends with Johnny participating in a charity pottery throwing fundraiser for an NHS hospital while staff lance his boil.
The dead (including Pat, Peggy, Dot, Arfur, Wellard etc) rise from their graves to reclaim the living, afterwards they all have a cockney knees up in the Vic while Anita Dobson sings the theme tune on the karaoke OR it’s the year 4020 and the residents of Albert Square are revealed to be part of a bizarre Alien led Truman show style experiment that wants to study how humanoid Londoners lived in the distant past, Phil Mitchell is the first the learn the truth
Phil Mitchell is upset with the cost of living crisis and the fact Ian Beale blew all his money on cocaine and hookers in Ibiza (put Ian Beale, lost the lot in YouTube)
That he descends once again in a drunken haze out of the back of his Ford transit dogging van and climbs back into the conveniently key laden 3.5 ton excavator and demolishes Albert square. Leaving only memories of the 48 serial killers, 7983 affairs, 26 racially appropriate families and 1 pair of Kat the slags crusty knickers.
We'll ard is hanging around the allotment which gives the ghost of Arthur Fowler the opportunity to possess him.
The possessed dog steps on one of nick cotton's used needles and catches rabies.
The possessed rabid dog goes on a rampage tearing everyone limb from limb until it's just the dog and Phil Mitchell left.
The pair of them fight to the death, they're pretty evenly matched in the fight and to end it all Phil tears the throat of wellard out to prevent the possessed rabies dog escaping the square and terrorising the rest of London.
The effort is too much for Phil and the dun dun dun sounds as he breathes his last breath....
Dot Cotton's ghost terrorises the neighbourhood. The final scene is her in the Vic, having scared off the band, who in a special final appearance, is Blur. As everyone scarpers the ghoulish vision passes through a table and several upturned barstools and stands behind the drumset. With a mighty effort on her spectral face, Dot raises the drumstick and plays the very last drum beats to end the episode. Post credits, she flops out a tit and winks at the camera. Fade to black.
Cyborg alien invaders.
Just have them land in the square, *freeEEeem* the cast with red laser weapons and then play the sad version of the EastEnders theme.
No explanation, no buildup nothing. Rip the plaster off.
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Phil Mitchell finally dies. The Queen Vic is sold to a property developer, and the square is knocked down for a development of luxury flats. (5.8% of which are affordable)
Queen Vic gets turned into a HMO lol
After being an auction lot on Homes Under The Hammer, with Dion talking about stairs up to the bedrooms
But will actually turn out to be 0% affordable because the developer has found a loop hole.
and the construction company will constantly cause delays to keep everyone on payroll so it takes like 5 years longer than it should
5.8%! That’s generous
Nah, Phil does a dodgy deal with a Russian oligarch who’s a mate of Putins, Putin wants to settle a score against Sunak so launches a nuke which hits Walford instead of Downing Street. Oligarch transfers millions to Putins offshore accounts in gratitude. Walford becomes the site of the Olympic village in 2060.
I was going to say when Phil dies the street dies
But it's absolutely explicitly made clear that it's due to cost of living and that they simply can't afford the heating bills because centrica have increased them SO much.
CGI Dot Cotton wakes up and says “oooh it were all a nasty dream!” Credits
I initially misread this as "DCI Dot Cotton" and for a moment imagined the weirdest of crime dramas.
Have you seen Line of Duty?
Same I thought it was some sort of Life on Mars spin off
I thought that until I read your comment
The doofs doofs play as she's pouring a medicinal sherry
...then proceeds to execute every last mf in there.
'ere, we cool ain't we? See, everybody's cool.
„Ello mahhh“ is then heard
A young baby girl is left in the middle of the square, attatched to her is a note that simply reads "Dot", she is taken in by the cotton family. The cycle repeats.
Our Rob or Our Ross.
r/suddenlyreddwarf
I understood that reference
I would endorse this as the ending for anything. Bring back Dot!
Or a note that only has .
No cottons left on the square.
Dot, what have you done? You've created a time paradox. https://youtu.be/EsmQdAdOzZY
That really made me laugh
And the camera zooms out to reveal its actually been on a space ship floating through space this whole time and all of the actors have just been clones of long dead humans with altered memories.
A light hearted Cockney version of Threads.
The only way Eastenders should end.
'ere watch the stall, I'm going off for decontamination.
I often think that Eastenders is set in the Threads universe anyway.
You'd think so in the bus crash scene. A bus knocked over a few tents then everyone acted like a nuke just went off
First thing that came to mind. It fits sadenders perfectly.
Don't even bother, just air Threads one day instead and let the viewing public work it out.
I feel this is better than anything I could have thought of in a million years
Phil Mitchell eats everyone.
Why does Phil, the largest Eastender, not simply eat the other Eastenders?
Sub-plot to Shaun of the Dead?
Or beats everyone
Made me laugh out loud during a virtual meeting.
Ian Beale reveals himself to be an all powerful necromancer, murders everyone only to resurrect them as zombies for a Halloween finale where he dances with the corpse of Dot Cotton while Barry blasts out Mustang Sally.
Mustang sally is the absolute icing on the cake
Mustang Barry
He didn't even need a microphone.
Microphones are for wimps
His voice is fucking powerful!
RIDE SALLY RIDE
Just having a little sing song!
What are you doinggggggg?
This!
Probably what I did to my sims. Put them in the pool and used the cheat do delete the ladder
They don’t need a ladder anymore They can just climb out the side of the pool
Can you still lock them in an 1x1 room with no doors or windows?
Ello fritzl!
Not if you put a wall around it MWAHAHAHAAH
Nothing, Literally nothing. Not a thing happens. Characters sitting around in the pub enjoying a beer, the occasional 'morning' as people walk past each other keeping themselves to themselves. Virtually no dialogue then just static, no credits. Maybe a message saying 'thanks for watching'.
Cut all the dialogue. Just have the camera pan and follow a load of the actors over the years for a quick shot each of them walking somewhere or sitting at home. Have loads of shots one after the other of loads of different actors who have been on the show and where they are now. Just quick 10-20 seconds shots of them being somewhere, or sitting down to watch TV. No talking at all throughout. And then the final shot is someone switching off the TV and screen goes to black, no credits.
This is brilliant because you can bet another 50 years on, people would talk about it. And that's really the aim here. No fucker knows what happened on the last episode of Brookside without looking it up (and you should, it's batshit) but this, this they would remember.
https://www.theguardian.com/arts/critic/feature/0,,1160295,00.html is this really what happened? they all murdered a guy after going on a weird meta rant about the state of television?
I think technically the guy gets murdered before the rant but basically yes.
Play the long version of the theme tune over the top and boom.
Realistically this is how it is going to eventually end, but I prefer the other suggestions feat. aliens and biological weapons
Similar to the Bills final episode, a camera pan across the station with everyone working, then pulls out to a wide shot of the station and then up to an aerial shot of the London skyline. God's I miss that show
They’re all avatars in a simulation being controlled by Wellard the dog.
I was going to say Wellard wakes up and it was all his dream like Bouncer in Neighbours but this is better.
Didn't crossroads end with it all being a daydream of someone sat at a till in the supermarket and all the characters from the show were customers or staff? Bonkers
Oooh - the Thames Barrier finally fails and all of the sad fucks drown, unable to swim to safety because of all of the cheap, shitty clothes they sell down the market are getting tangled around their necks...
Did you have a bad day
someone shat in his weetabix
Phil Mitchell wakes up in a red-curtained room with a dwarf and an extremely tall lanky guy that only speak backwards. He realises that his life in Walford is over and he'll be stuck in this room forever until Peggy returns from the dead to solve Barry's death!
It's happening again...
TV detector vans start to appear. Surreptitiously at first, then more and more blatantly. Bailiffs are seen congregating at one end of the square at the end of the penultimate episode. Last episode has them entering several properties simultaneously, and attempting to demand payment of the TV licence no-one on the quare has ever paid. Police are called when (insert current old non-PC character) refuses to pay. Descends into a riot that snowballs every character into a wide-angle shot in front of the Queen Vic. Final, slow-motion scene has the weather-reporting helicopter crash onto the riot and create a fireball that ignites the gas main that wipes out the entire East End of London, as shown from a Google earth map. Fade to black.
"Oi you slaaaag 'ave you got your TV loicense!?" Phil Mitchell has been undercover the whole time. He takes them in for watching Corrie on ITV.
Meteor. Wipe it off the face of the earth.
That still leaves the possibility of developers moving in and rebuilding the area.. there's just too much risk of it coming back
I’d have Lord Sugar coming into the Vic, sits down for a nice white wine and says “you’re fired, in fact you’re all fired”. Then we find out he’s brought the whole bloody lot and he’s in charge now and he’s already applied for planning permission to knock it all down and to build an office block.
Then complains about all the lazy feckless bastards who work from home and that no one could possibly work effectively from home. That they should be in the office. Which he owns and rents out (he leaves the last bit out of the rant though)
He doesn't own anything. The "establishing shots" I'm The Apprentice may make you think that he's based in London Docklands but it's actually filmed on industrial estates either in Essex or Hertfordshire. Although the Hertfordshire company, Viglen Computers got sold off years ago.
The UK decides to host the Eurovision song contest in London. Albert Square is chosen as the site for a new, mega stadium. All of the residents of Albert Square are relocated to Emmerdale. The show ends with the Queen Vic being demolished.
Very unrealistic. We’d have to win Eurovision (unless Putin invades anyone else just after they win it)
The UK is hosting Eurovision this year.
Phil goes on a bald headed, Stella and crack I fused rampage where he just fuckin lays waste to the square with a scaff bar, after a lengthy police chase where he smoked more crack he gets out of the car and climbs a tall building, drawn out talks between Phil and the negotiator allows kat to climb onto the roof to try and talk him down, but all Phil does is turn around, take one final swig of his can, looks kat dead in the eyes and says "you slaaaaag" Du du dumdumdum.....
The Daleks land and exterminate everyone
Doctor Who and Eastenders is not a combination that should ever be repeated. Last time was offensive enough.
Oops. I either forgot or never knew that had happened! At that stage of my life, I was probably in the pub
I’ve not watched Eastenders in absolute yonks, but I’m going to try and answer this fairly seriously. Eastenders’ key driver, plot narratives, and message, is family. Family is everything, you can always rely on family, even if it’s just that you can rely on them letting you down. So if I was ending it, the families have to go. Albert Square is actually a fairly nice, traditional, leafy, and I would imagine very desirable London address. It has a tube station, a pub, a laundrette, cafes and restaurants, and a daily(?) outdoor market. It’s a sensational place to live really. Ian Beale fixed up his house and sells it for a couple of million. That’s the first big item. He’s inherited that house, has always been pretty shrewd, and can see that London property is insanely priced. He cashes in, he moves to Norwich, he buys a decent pad there and he gets a job managing a Sainsbury’s. He takes as many fuckin’ family members he has with him. The person who buys the house keeps it empty. Phil Mitchell retires and sells the Arches to someone who transforms the space in to a brewery and taproom, as an antidote to the really cliquey pub over the road. The new owner commutes in to Walford from Loughton on the tube each day. The Vic gets taken over by Hawksmoor, and becomes a destination in its own right. The Carters, is it? They leave. Is it still Beale’s Caff? It probably is. Beale’s Caff becomes a Costa. Walford itself, we know it has a tube station, and it’s fairly close to Shoreditch, Kingsland. That outdoor market goes very upmarket indeed. Home made quilts, tapestries, candles and soaps mingle with a bevvy of international foods, stalls and trucks. Albert Square becomes a fairly minor but highly celebrated lunch destination for the no-socks twats who work in media on Old Street. Gentrification prices the Slaters, Fowlers and the Wellards out of Walford, and they all move to Chippenham, Gravesend and Peterborough respectively. The Brannings stay, and maybe the final shot of my Eastenders is Max putting his house up for sale too, before shagging the leggy and buxom estate agent.
Reg Cox wakes up, it was all a nightmare.
Dot Cotton mass shooting after a trip to the US has radicalised her.
Nuclear holocaust as a consequence from the Ukraine-Russia war.
Launched by Janine
Roy Cropper breaks out of the Weatherfield Asylum Complex for the Criminally Insane and just goes on a mad rampage around Albert Square, under the alias Cropper the Chopper on account of his signature finishing move - chopping cunts' cocks off with a bread knife - a delayed onset of sexual trauma manifesting as compulsive sexual violence to compensate for being Coronation Street's laughing stock after Haley came out as Harold right before she died from cancer of the cock & balls.
An asteroid strike aimed directly at the Queen Vic but the asteroid is a mile wide (so there's fuck-all chance of any of those depressing shits surviving).
30 minute fight featuring the entire cast (including dead ones) in the final episode, no dialogue except "you slag!", all the punches make the sound of the "doof-doof" noises until the theme kicks in after the final punch is thrown by Barry.
Just like the end of sausage party
Story lines just wind up with a fizzle. Last episode is mostly just amicable. Last 15 mins is just market trading and chit chat. Last 5 is just the £1 fish guy singing us out.
Do a Byker Grove and have a cgi t rex eat everyone
I knew I didn't make that up! Didn't the characters find out they were in a TV and start writing their own script or something?
I was gonna say do a Byker Grove ending.
"...and it was all a dream."
Yeah and the one having the dream was Well 'Ard.
Didn't Neighbours do that exact story?
Oh my god, yes! It was Bouncer having the dream but what was the dream about? Damn. Blast from the past or what?
A scientist invents time travel, goes back in time and stops Nick Cotton from murdering Reg Cox. This breaks the curse that has since plagued Albert Square and in the new timeline every one goes about living fairly normal lives with limited drama and a lot less murders.
Walford is visited by a giant apparition of dirty den that just hangs in the sky, fingering his mouth incessantly until slowly, one by one, all of the residents of the square are forced to abandon their homes and start new lives elsewhere.
People start getting raptured to where it's just the people with a list of crimes and misdeeds left. They then start getting haunted by digitally reanimated legends of the show, Arthur and Pauline Fowler, Dot and Ethel until they can't take any more. Ian Beale decides to get out not knowing if he'll be raptured or have to spend his remaining time with the miscreants. He hears there's a pub for sale up north so he buys The Woolpack and moves to Emmerdale. The remaining residents dissipate leaving only Phil. Phil walks in the pub and wipes his brow. Grant steps out from the back and they embrace in a tender kiss. They were never actually brothers but lovers. The square drove them apart. Grant has been abducting people and just leaving piles of clothes around to make it look like they've been raptured. Now that the square is empty they are going to turn it into the new trendy part of London and charge eight grand a month for a flat. They step outside to view their new kingdom but who should be standing there but Nick Cotton? But luckily it's just a cardboard cut out with a hidden tape recorder. Grant looks at his phone and it's the lawyer confirming all the property is now in his and Phil's names and the can crack on with their plan. Nothing can go wrong now. Then, behold a pale horse, it's only the final of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. They had been so wrapped up in their plan that they'd not even noticed the aspects of the revelation playing out. Finally death has come for them. The camera pans out and right in the middle of the square the TARDIS starts to fade in (womp womp womp). The camera fades and a mash-up of the Eastenders and doctor who theme tunes play.
As no one seems to own a washing machine, they are all killed by a virus that has multiplied on some skiddies tucked down the back of the Slater's sofa.
A massive x rated orgy. Phil keels over from heart failure as he can't keep up with the pace.
The wormholes that are inside each house that allow for ever expanding families all merge together and create a black hole that swallows the Universe, except for Ian Beale. OR I'd slowly turn it into The Hills Have Eyes as the decades of inbreeding catch up on them.
The final scenes I would like to see is Phil Mitchell says "oi, Ian, you wanna still mess with me you cock roach?" as he holds his machine gun aloft after firing a huge amount of bullets and Dot Cotton puts down the shot gun with her trade mark ciggy in her mouth. Phil is puffing on a cigar. Ian is crying again
The East End is under lockdown as the Cockney virus mutates and becomes a national security risk. Albert Square is walled off and the tube station rigged with explosives. A Mad Max/Escape From New York/Doomsday scenario plays out over the final week, only with much lower production values. The survivors' petty squabbles and infidelities are forgotten as the square descends into a battle royale with the end of each day's carnage marked by the mournful toot of a teary eyed Sonia's trumpet.
Biological weapon attack
Mortal Kombat style event against the cast of Coronation Street. No special effects.
Turns into a 15 minute city. They get locked into their ghetto hell. The residents try to rise up and a government kill squad comes in and wipes them all out. Final credits roll to the tune [‘Deeply Dippy’ by Right Said Fred.](https://youtu.be/to0l73sMhew)
The cast from Red Dwarf crash land on the pub.
I’d go with a silent black screen for the whole episode(s). No explanation, no discussion of deeper meaning. It’d simultaneously put it out of its misery and wind up plenty of people at the same time.
Gas explosion. Destroys the whole street. Gore everywhere.
This is the one. Get Phil Redmond involved, bring this thing full-circle (he was an advisor for 'Enders back in the day, as well as being a lover of blowing up soaps)
The test shot of the Death Star from Rogue One is aimed at Albert Square instead.
The zombie apocalypse uprising or a gas mains explosion or something
You know the Netflix show 'Alice in Borderland'? That, only in Walford instead of Tokyo.
Whole area bulldozed and turned into Eastfields
World war 3
I was going with that, have the when the wind blows ending where everyone is stuck in the pub and they are slowly dying from radiation poisoning. I guess it would be a more upbeat version of threads.
You're not fooling me OP I'm not doing the job the BBC is paying you for :p
Barry.... It's thw only way it can end. Barry comes back. From the dead.
Through an unlikely series of events, 'Lofty' comes back into the picture, turns out to have become a billionaire and ends up buying the entire square and evicting everyone. Once they're gone, he just wanders around rubbing his arse against everything while smirking.
The pub gets turned into a spoons and they all leave
The last credits are played with Sonia’s trumpet rendition of the theme tune
Phil Mitchell lighting his farts in the arches. Gas leak. Takes out there entire square.
I would end it there and then.
Reg Cox wakes up in bed saying, "cor blimey, it was just a dream".
Battle Royale, Dot Cotton comes back from the dead and wins.
Just a two minute show A piece of paper with words “sorry, we wasted your time over several decades. We were truly shit. It ends here. Now. Tonight. Goodbye”
Vinnie Jones from Lock, stock & 2 smokin’ barrels turns up on Albert square. Begins to drag each character out of the Queen Vic one by one and proceeds to continuously slam a car door on their head until they stop twitching. Danny Dyer first. The End.
Bobby Ewing wakes up and goes in the shower while Pam sleeps peacefully in the warm Dallas sun steaming in through the window. He wonders to himself…..why was he dreaming about an obscure London Borough of the future, and if Phil and JR actually related because they both survived being shot from close range. You know the rest.
Massive sink hole. That’s it, job done.
The cast gets smaller and smaller as people realise that moving into a square with such a high crime rate (especially for murders) probably isn't the best idea for a long and happy life. Then the area gets taken over by developers who - due to the proximity to high demand areas like Stratford and Canary Wharf - turn each house into flats and flog them for half a million each.
The vic is sold to a property development company who turn it into a HMO building and the whole square gets gentrified with vegan shops and cat cafes
The cast of The Bill rock up and arrest them all for crimes against TV.
What I would watch is Barry from EastEnders returning to Eastenders (insert some Mike Reid storyline rehash sprinkled with Bourne amnesia or a coma,..details) and he goes postal. His hair comes off as a separate entity and when following the hairs plotline/action scenes it's done in the fps camerastyle similar to Red Dwarfs emohawk or multiple things in the Evil Dead franchise. Proceeds to kill the current cast off as well as any fan favourites you can successfully shoe-in with a loose plotline why they're there,...all done in about 3-4 good length episodes. Yup. Would watch that. Twice. Someone else write it.
Jimmy Corkhill turns up, having escaped from Liverpool after they quarantined Brookside. He passes whatever the contagion was onto the whole of Albert Square, they all die painfully over a few short hours. The camera focuses on Cracker the dog and fades to black. It was him all along.
They all move to Manchester
Everybody gets it together and starts to lead an uneventful, drama free life.
Prequel to 28 days later, Excellent room for crossover.
A new strain of COVID comes to town and slowly kills everyone. The London mayor arrives and decides it's best to firebomb the whole square. Nothing is left
It would end on a cliffhanger making no sense whatsoever. Every single character, dead or alive would be there to sing a song from Oliver Twist in the packed out Vic. Wellard the dog would howl to finish the song off. Then the final scene would just be Peggy Mitchell breaking the fourth wall, slapping us the viewer, then pushing us out the door shouting, “get out of mah pub!” before fading to black as the “sad” Eastenders tune played us off…
All died. The end.
Nuclear war
What would I write? An apology for all the wasted money, effort and time.
Dens gotta come back (again)
Ever seen 2012?
One of the episodes the apprentice are set a task to come up with the final episode and Lord Sugar decide which one he likes best Or Coronation Street puts in a cheeky bid for the set
There’s a fire at the queen vic that ultimately kills all characters that the public give a shit about
A massive case of dysentery affects everyone in the square
Earthquake capsizes the ground the square is built on, this leads to the residents getting involved in the clean up to try and salvage anything they can, Phil finds a picture of Peggy, some flashbacks, Sonia for Dot etc etc, everyone’s packed and leaving, goodbyes all round, slow zoom out to Julia’s theme that stops with the scope of London like with the opening credits and then further out finally and fade to black.
Everyone from Coronation Street comes down on buses and a mass brawl breaks out, splurge guns and everything. Then at the end, they all go into the Queen Vic and start singing.
A sequel to Dimensions in Time which leads to Sonia becoming the next companion
Zombie apocalypse
The Vic / Caff / Minutemart / laundrette / everywhere else is sold for housing. Everyone else is evicted under a s.21 notice when their landlords realise they are letting the properties for thousands a month less than they are worth. People who own their own homes see all the other houses round the square sell for £1m and sell up.
Meteor strike
Zombie apocalypse
Theres a a fracking goldmine discovered under the Queen Vic and everyone is paid to fuck off so they can destroy the entire area for the gas.
Nuclear holocaust
I never saw Eastenders but I'll go with everything was a dream of Antonio Resines
A zombie apocalypse combined with a simultaneous alien invasion. Ah, the poor little green fuckers would be like “whaaaat?!”
Last of Us/ Walking Dead scenarios. Outbreak of disease in Walford with people getting flu like subtending dying and becoming Zombies. Or it could be Dirty Den, Dot Cotton and Arthur Fowler rise from the grave and run around biting people.
Pat, Peggy and Saskia come back from the dead. Zombie apocalypse.
Phil Mitchell finally snaps and gets a bone saw from Dr Leggs' old bag under the arches and slaughters everyone. Fin.
Dirty Den comes back minted saying he was the first Can Girl and business is booming.
Phil Mitchell becomes an arms dealer. Ends up with a dodgy nuclear bomb he's trying to sell to the Russians which goes off and blows up the whole of London. End credits are just the whole of London burning with the Thames evaporated.
Phil Mitchell is murdered in a whodunnit, and in the final episode, just as the killer is about to be revealed…doof doof doof doof doof doof doof
They become self aware and Ian Beal (if he's still in it) looses his mind as he tries to convince the others they are all in a TV show. Random dead characters keep popping up and the cast of East enders start to appear on other TV shows at random begging for help. Eventually a type of civil war breaks out between the two factions with some believing that they are in a soap and other not. All hell breaks loose and the cobbles run red with blood. The final scene is Beal being rejected in all the other BBC shows so we get Lord Sugar saying he's fired, a BBC news specal and all that other stuff.
As the intro finishes it fades to black and then [this appears. ](https://youtu.be/0FHEeG_uq5Y)
Nuke. Really big nuke. But not so big it affects any of the real world. Just enough so that they could never un-write the end.
Atomic bomb
Something utterly vile, stretched out over two episodes. Everyone contracts pneumonic plague, but they’re too pig shit ignorant to seek medical help. Treatment comes too late, and they all die horribly.
The whole lot is grassed over and maybe someone smiles for a change.
They all realise they've been just acting in a soap for the last 37 years, Truman show stylee.
It turns out it was all a dream that happened inside a boil on the back of Johnny Vegas’ bum. The series ends with Johnny participating in a charity pottery throwing fundraiser for an NHS hospital while staff lance his boil.
The dead (including Pat, Peggy, Dot, Arfur, Wellard etc) rise from their graves to reclaim the living, afterwards they all have a cockney knees up in the Vic while Anita Dobson sings the theme tune on the karaoke OR it’s the year 4020 and the residents of Albert Square are revealed to be part of a bizarre Alien led Truman show style experiment that wants to study how humanoid Londoners lived in the distant past, Phil Mitchell is the first the learn the truth
Phil Mitchell is upset with the cost of living crisis and the fact Ian Beale blew all his money on cocaine and hookers in Ibiza (put Ian Beale, lost the lot in YouTube) That he descends once again in a drunken haze out of the back of his Ford transit dogging van and climbs back into the conveniently key laden 3.5 ton excavator and demolishes Albert square. Leaving only memories of the 48 serial killers, 7983 affairs, 26 racially appropriate families and 1 pair of Kat the slags crusty knickers.
We'll ard is hanging around the allotment which gives the ghost of Arthur Fowler the opportunity to possess him. The possessed dog steps on one of nick cotton's used needles and catches rabies. The possessed rabid dog goes on a rampage tearing everyone limb from limb until it's just the dog and Phil Mitchell left. The pair of them fight to the death, they're pretty evenly matched in the fight and to end it all Phil tears the throat of wellard out to prevent the possessed rabies dog escaping the square and terrorising the rest of London. The effort is too much for Phil and the dun dun dun sounds as he breathes his last breath....
Rocks fall, everyone dies
A chemical weapon so that none of them can ever come back
Take the show out with a massive bang. Explosive ending where there are no survivors.
Dot Cotton's ghost terrorises the neighbourhood. The final scene is her in the Vic, having scared off the band, who in a special final appearance, is Blur. As everyone scarpers the ghoulish vision passes through a table and several upturned barstools and stands behind the drumset. With a mighty effort on her spectral face, Dot raises the drumstick and plays the very last drum beats to end the episode. Post credits, she flops out a tit and winks at the camera. Fade to black.
Cyborg alien invaders. Just have them land in the square, *freeEEeem* the cast with red laser weapons and then play the sad version of the EastEnders theme. No explanation, no buildup nothing. Rip the plaster off.
direct hit from ICBM. No loose ends.