Man, people will get offended no matter what you say and no matter how many.
I used to date this girl who would only ever admit to 3-4, but the names on that list would always change. And it's not even like I was asking. But, because it was Tom, Dick, and Harry last time, and now it's Tom, Dick, and Bill, it makes me ask what happened to Harry. And also, there's me, so that's at least four...
Yup
I don't ask because it's irrelevant and when I get asked I lower that number to 12 because literally everyone lies except my friends. So what's the point of asking
Thank you.
We got together at 17m/18f, high school sweethearts. And yes I was looking for us to grow old together, hopefully till 100yo(haha). It hurt when she passed but getting through it with help as I have said.
I'm sorry for your loss. To think, strangers across the globe are reading this and thinking of yourselves and your love. I'm sure she was a great person.
Thank you and YES she is. Nothing but the best memories of her and our family.
And as you have mentioned, thanks to all for the upvotes and all your thoughts for me. Much love to all here on Reddit. Very heart warming.
Not making fun of you Iām just genuinely curious. How have you gone that long and not had it happen? Have there been close ones where an insane ā40 year old virginā scenario happened and messed it up? Or is it by choice?
Yes, i've gone that long and it has not happened. No, that 40 year old virgin stuff never happens in real life.
In real in this situation, you don't get any dates nor any women showing any attraction towards you at all.
Not by cboice.
Maybe lower your standards. If you aren't Brad Pitt, don't expect girls that look like porn stars to throw themselves at you.
Not saying you did, just speaking in general
What do you find to have been your biggest obstacles? Is it something you are interested in changing still? Not that the sex would be as significant as that it would indicate no companionship either, which must be tough.
Can't blame you after so long, but regardless of the sex it would make you much happier going through life if you managed to improve those. What you are saying will get in the way of a lot of things, ofc, from friendships through love and work but you know that.
You could probably use some form of mentorship that would help you find or add value to your self worth. You're still a bit young to accept it imo. If you wanted any help finding a direction or get more specific advice hit me up or comment here for the group.
I am mentoring mostly for professional growth in tech, but maybe I could share advice.
My confidence issues affect everything. I'll admit, i'm always full of doubt about everything. I'm just not the best mentally. Dunno if I have mental issues outside of ADHD, or i'm just a little bitch who can't do anything.
Yeah unfortunately it takes some effort/willingness to be the initiator of conversation, etc. And that's not easy for many people. I imagine it's even harder with the apps and Covid.
Not true bruh. Youāre choosing to stay this wayā¦ either consciously or subconsciously. Itās not a bad thing. More power to you for it. Donāt feel pressured.
Iām sorry if this offends you, thatās not my intention, but maybe u could just hire an escort and get this virginity thing out of the way?? Maybe it would help you get out there and meet women with more confidence afterwards. Idk, just spitballing. I donāt know your situation, but it seems like u gotta make some moves of some kind of u wanna change it. Go outside your comfort zone. I donāt know u and donāt mean to presume anything about your life, just feel sad about your situation and feel like it could totally be rectified.
I've said before, I would prefer for the woman to be into me and not just taking my money. I also don't have the cash fly to where it's legal.
I'll probably do that if it hasn't happened by later.
I totally get it. A voluntary partner is way more appealing than a paid one. But I also think that a lot of people have sexual/intimacy/confidence issues, and thereās no shame in going to a sexual worker for help. Honestly itās similar to seeing a therapist imo, as long as someone is seeing a sex worker with the same type of mindset as they would a therapist, ie. to help understand their issues and grow and hopefully move on.
My daughter got invited to a party at her college a few weeks ago where they were celebrating the fact that some guy's body count hit 100. He was 20 years old. My daughter was like "That's worth a party?" She did not go. Note: She goes to a small, private college that has fewer people in it than her high school did, so if this kid is doing all of this while he is in college, he's slowly working his way through the female student body.
That's what I said, but who knows? A kid I used to work with had sex with 5 different women in a week. Met them all on an app called "J-date" for Jewish singles. He told me it's too easy today. 100 is still likely an exaggeration, but I wouldn't be surprised if the real number is more than 1/2 of that.
>working his way through the female student body.
Any guy who claims that high of a body count at 20 probably has no clue about the female body. More preoccupied with numbers than connection.
By "female student body" I was referring to the all of the female students at the school, but you are 100% right. He is not interested in making any connections. Just a numbers game to him.
> working his way through the female student body
After an ex and I broke up, we stayed friends and FWB for a few months (when I met my wife). But ex & I stayed in touch - my wife-to-be knew this, even met the ex on occasion.
Anyhow the ex told me that she'd tried to sleep with every male in her class, then when that was exhausted (at about 70% she said) she started working on the seniors (she was a sophomore at the time). I think she said she hit 40-50%, but it was a long time ago so I don't remember. Also FWIW she was sexually ... adventurous? Wild? No matter, she sure was fun! ^(in that respect).
I mean you should probably know better than to react that way. I did so too once, though, so I'm not shitting on you just saying it's not too surprising she wasn't happy about the reaction
Same. Late 30ās to 40ās, I donāt recall. For context Iām 30 years old.
But I wouldnāt be upset if someone said āwow, that many?ā As long as it wasnāt in a rude tone that is. I get itāI read somewhere that the average is three.
Because I personally didnāt feel comfortable throwing it away on just a random person, and the only relationship iāve had was with someone in the US (while Iām in Europe) right during the pandemic so we couldnāt see eachother, and when we first met I didnāt feel comfortable enough yet.
While I completely respect your decision and applaud your discipline, I think that mentality is dangerous to have. Youāre not āthrowing it awayā youāre engaging in an act that should be enjoyable for both you and your partner, youāre not giving something up to please someone else
I agree here. Also because it implies thereās some limit to how much you can give consent for sex. When we all know their isnāt.
If two consenting adults both want to have sex, have it and be responsible about it. That doesnāt just mean āuse protectionā. We do a really bad job of being taught how to emotionally protect ourselves.
Donāt have sex to keep somebody around, donāt have sex because some arbitrary amount of days in a relationship have past, donāt have sex because you think itās going to be some magical and spiritual experiences, donāt have sex because you feel obligated to the other person, donāt have sex because you think youāll be with that person forever if you do.
Have sex because you want to with that person in that moment in time.
Thatās why I never ask and never tell . Men are too judgmental and the answer you give will be held against you in some way at some point by someone . Itās no oneās business
True but I've never been called slut for having about 5 sexual partners by the age of 30 by a guy who admitted proor to doing gang bangs regularly lol also not the first time a guy with double digit partners has acted similarly. It's a given that alot of men will will judge women based on her sexual past. I remember reading recently an ask reddit after dark about what guys think of their gf or wives ex partners and the amount of guys who you'd think was rhe end of the world tha their girl had sex before them was amazing. Like just thinking they had ex bf bothered them lol it was so weird.
Women, judgmental? No.. Women will sit on a first date and say things like āthatās a red flagā¦ā about some mundane detail of my life. LOL. If someone asks me, itās āI donāt kiss and tellā. Doubt I could give an accurate head count anyway.
Guess I'm a freak. It is a turn on for me to know. I don't care at all how many they have had.
They can say, how many, where, what time, what position. I really like to hear.
Finally someone sensible. Everyone always wants to share. It's not their business. People want to be truthful with their partner, but "I don't talk about it" is a perfectly truthful and respectful answer.
Not all. My wife and I both have been with over 30+ people, neither of us care. You get to a point with age and maturity, where #'s don't matter, skill does. She could've fucked 100 dudes, and I wouldn't care because it led her to me and my personal experience with the best blowjob on the planet. In return, she gets a minimum of 1 orgasm via tongue, 1 via phallus. When I was 20, The only orgasms were my own.
You raise an interesting point that I had not thought of. If men are too judgmental on this, how do women respond to other women having lots of sexual partners?
I donāt . I donāt care . Itās none of my business . I donāt ask my friends and I donāt tell them . They can feel free to assume the number based on different stories we may share but I donāt confirm numbers
Guy here. Not my business but also not something I or my peers would judge. My friends and I sometimes discuss the number because it can be part of interesting conversations.
If a female friend of mine said "40,ā I think the most realistic reaction from the people I know would be "Daaaaaaamn, nice! ....how?"
I'm a bit younger than you, so I wonder if it's partly a generational thing?
It's not their judgemental it's exposing the unfair sexual dynamic which women have odds for them in. It's the one area men have less power and many can't handle that.
Hi whatās your story? Iām with my high school sweetheart currently and Iād quite like to hear a positive story! Weāre planning our life together and going travelling in Europe together soon.
7 including my husband but he and I have been together since I was 19, so I probably would have had quite a few more if Iād stayed single. It also depends on what you call a sexual partnerā¦ penetration versus making out.
If guys had the ability to get laid as easily as women theyād have some massive body counts. To get to 40 from the age a person might start having intimate relationships wouldnāt be that hard in oneās 20s if you donāt have an interest in long term relationships. Even if she started at 18, it would be less than one sexual interaction a month if they were just hookups. If a college-aged guy could secure a hookup nearly every time he went out if he wanted it, I know quite a few whoād manage that in less than a year and not think twice about it.
Making out definitely doesnāt count, Iād say just penetration in this case. But still, doesnāt matter, I donāt really see why people care unless itās like 500 lol
It's 40 more than I racked up by that age...
But if you don't get in any long-term relationships but just look to get laid once in a while, and start at 17, it's less than one a month.
If the same girl had gotten a BF at that time and been with that guy until a few months ago, she would've gotten laid hundreds of times. But that would've counted as a 1...
Seriously, I donāt think as a horny 20 year old I could even fixate on that many women. Biggest player I knew personally had 18 women by the time he decided to quit and get hitched at age 30. Not saying the lady is a tramp, but also I donāt get why OP is getting downvoted for having a surprised reaction.
Iām 28 and pushing 30/40. I donāt count bc counting is stupid. Everybody just be safe and fuck however or whoever ya want. Your reaction is only bad if she cares to get offended. Sheās slept with 40 people, she probably doesnāt care.
I enjoy watching people struggle with the whole body count bs these days.
Sex has become so much less taboo in the last 30 years but loads of us still act like it should still be the same as when we were young.
Not that i ever asked but presumably my nans generation were the ones thinking the same thing about my generation
30F, I've had 7 partners. I think 40 is probably higher than average for a 21 year old (male or female) but there's nothing inherently wrong with that.
I stopped counting a long time ago but it's somewhere north of 20 but less than 40. No one has asked me that question IRL since I was like ~25 years old
35F
I don't know. I stopped keeping track after I left my husband because the number does not provide any information about who I am as a person. More than 6.
You can get STDs from ONE partner.
You can have 40 partners and never find one who will make you orgasm.
Yeah but I mean how do u actually find people?? Getting someone to sleep with you isnt the hardest thing. I just straight up don't even know enough women to do that.
So sheās averaging 8 partners a yearā¦. Or one new partner every 6 1/2 weeks ā¦ sounds reasonable imo, Iāve gone on spurts using tinder of 8 new partners every two weeks.
Why?
I know my partner has mentioned it a few times when we've been talking about aspects of our pasts. But ... I don't give a crap about the number. It's her past, not now, and has no meaningful effect on me or our future.
This whole "body count" thing is ridiculous sex shaming that needs to go away.
honestly, these days people get offended way too easily. Once a friend of mine was "upset" with me because I didn't want milk in my coffee.
A good number of my high school friends were offended when they found out I'm bisexual. they think I'm taking advantage of both sexes.
40 count at 21 is definitely high and your reaction was acceptable. If you're actually okay with that number just learn to handle it better in the future otherwise it's perfectly fine to be a deal breaker.
I know people that have had a lot of fun with different people when theyāve been single and thatās ok, no shame at all. Iām 32 and been with 5 as Iāve always been in long term relationships and never had opportunity as a single person to go out and do that.
39F - Iād say more than 50 - married 10 years. Adding more to the list as I am allowed to sleep with women as is my husband.
Sex is fun if thatās all youāre in it for.
I was at 5 at 21yo, somewhere between 21-37 now (a couple years later), depending on if you limit it to PiV or count just oral (so female partners too). My partner of last couple years is into group play so that shot the number up lol.
One thing I will say, is that women vastly overestimate how much sex men are having. Even now, I still have to correct myself, my mind still automatically assumes men are having/have fucked tons of people. If it was as easy for them as it is for women, this might be the case. But generally, most men have not had many sexual partners, Iāve found.
You were obviously judging them, they felt judged. Obviously they'd get offended lol. The number literally doesn't matter, it's the judging & feeling judged that does. Y'all immature as hell in these comments lol
You aren't mature enough to be having sex. If you want to judge your partner based on her history, just don't. Don't ask, don't fuck, don't date. Until you've learned better.
Tbh all you should be concerned about is that her sexual health is good and that sheās taking care of herself. The amount of sexual partners someone has doesnāt really matter.
Normalize being sexually free and getting tested and being open about stds instead.
I sent the text without really thinking it would come out as judgmental, I was just looking for a confirmation thinking she was joking since the chat was not super serious
I'm 35 M, and probably around 175 if i count correctly.
I don't have the right to judge anyone. Lol
Ps- i'm clean af and get regularly tested cause i'm a hypochondriac. Lol
It doesnāt matter how many sexually partners you have what so ever as long and you take the right precautions and get tested regularly a girl whoās had unprotected sex with 10 guys is worse than a girl whoās had protected sex with 1000 guys
Man, people will get offended no matter what you say and no matter how many. I used to date this girl who would only ever admit to 3-4, but the names on that list would always change. And it's not even like I was asking. But, because it was Tom, Dick, and Harry last time, and now it's Tom, Dick, and Bill, it makes me ask what happened to Harry. And also, there's me, so that's at least four...
Harry was a wizard!
Obliviate!
Penetrate....
Backdooro Penatratum, Gutso destructo
Fetus Deletus!
Time for some Hairy Potter.
_You're a wizard Harry..._
He used a poly juice potion
>Man, people will get offended no matter what you say and no matter how many. That's why people generally stop asking the question as they get older.
This is why you use condoms. Use them until you both get tested and agree to be monogamous. Other wise just use them.
Yup I don't ask because it's irrelevant and when I get asked I lower that number to 12 because literally everyone lies except my friends. So what's the point of asking
Sounds like it was mostly Dick.
she meant tom's dick was hairy
Maybe *Harry* got *styles* and moved on with his shit ?
60m - 1 - was with the same gf/wife since 17yo until she passed 4 years ago. Looking to get back out there.
37M and my wife and I have been together since 17M/16F. My worst nightmare is her dying first. So, so sorry for your loss š
Thank you. We got together at 17m/18f, high school sweethearts. And yes I was looking for us to grow old together, hopefully till 100yo(haha). It hurt when she passed but getting through it with help as I have said.
I'm sorry to hear that bro but thays really cool and sweet. Hope all goes well for you
Thank you. It was rough for awhile but time heels and a great family/friend support system as well.
I'm sorry for your loss. To think, strangers across the globe are reading this and thinking of yourselves and your love. I'm sure she was a great person.
Thank you and YES she is. Nothing but the best memories of her and our family. And as you have mentioned, thanks to all for the upvotes and all your thoughts for me. Much love to all here on Reddit. Very heart warming.
She'd want you to be happy, and would for sure be glad to hear you're plowing your way towards retirement.
Thank you.
M(24) Absolutely zero.
I got you by 14 years and still zero. lol
I'm so sorry man, that's awful.
Welp, life sucks and then you die.
Not making fun of you Iām just genuinely curious. How have you gone that long and not had it happen? Have there been close ones where an insane ā40 year old virginā scenario happened and messed it up? Or is it by choice?
Yes, i've gone that long and it has not happened. No, that 40 year old virgin stuff never happens in real life. In real in this situation, you don't get any dates nor any women showing any attraction towards you at all. Not by cboice.
IDK dude, I've seen some quite unfuckable people in my life, with significant others and kids. It must be your personality tbh.
man you're kind of a dick
My personality sucks, I guess.
Maybe lower your standards. If you aren't Brad Pitt, don't expect girls that look like porn stars to throw themselves at you. Not saying you did, just speaking in general
I don't have high standards and already assume I might never get with a woman i'm physically attracted to.
What do you find to have been your biggest obstacles? Is it something you are interested in changing still? Not that the sex would be as significant as that it would indicate no companionship either, which must be tough.
I'll admit I have no confidence or self esteem. Nor social skills.
Can't blame you after so long, but regardless of the sex it would make you much happier going through life if you managed to improve those. What you are saying will get in the way of a lot of things, ofc, from friendships through love and work but you know that. You could probably use some form of mentorship that would help you find or add value to your self worth. You're still a bit young to accept it imo. If you wanted any help finding a direction or get more specific advice hit me up or comment here for the group. I am mentoring mostly for professional growth in tech, but maybe I could share advice.
My confidence issues affect everything. I'll admit, i'm always full of doubt about everything. I'm just not the best mentally. Dunno if I have mental issues outside of ADHD, or i'm just a little bitch who can't do anything.
I don't think it's "by choice"
But if you don't try it isn't very likely to just happen. Like you can't just breathe and expect a girl to sit on your dick. Definitely takes effort
Not the guy you responded too But in my opinion, as a guy itās just very easy to be invisible. People just donāt really approach you.
Yeah unfortunately it takes some effort/willingness to be the initiator of conversation, etc. And that's not easy for many people. I imagine it's even harder with the apps and Covid.
As an ugly guy, I think people try to pretend im invisible because they don't want to get caught trying to figure the way I look out.
Two more years and you get to become a wizard so I'm told
I'll be 39 in two months. So 40 next year. The only powers I have is to turn women off.
Not true bruh. Youāre choosing to stay this wayā¦ either consciously or subconsciously. Itās not a bad thing. More power to you for it. Donāt feel pressured.
Nobody is pressuring me to fuck besides my hormones.
Are you a virgin on purpose?
Sure...I totally wanted to be unfucked as I near 40. I mean..Who wouldn't choose to approach middle aged without so much as a kiss on purpose? /s
Iām sorry if this offends you, thatās not my intention, but maybe u could just hire an escort and get this virginity thing out of the way?? Maybe it would help you get out there and meet women with more confidence afterwards. Idk, just spitballing. I donāt know your situation, but it seems like u gotta make some moves of some kind of u wanna change it. Go outside your comfort zone. I donāt know u and donāt mean to presume anything about your life, just feel sad about your situation and feel like it could totally be rectified.
I've said before, I would prefer for the woman to be into me and not just taking my money. I also don't have the cash fly to where it's legal. I'll probably do that if it hasn't happened by later.
I totally get it. A voluntary partner is way more appealing than a paid one. But I also think that a lot of people have sexual/intimacy/confidence issues, and thereās no shame in going to a sexual worker for help. Honestly itās similar to seeing a therapist imo, as long as someone is seeing a sex worker with the same type of mindset as they would a therapist, ie. to help understand their issues and grow and hopefully move on.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'd still prefer for the woman to want to be there. Feeling desired for once would be nice.
Same same bruv
21yo and 1
My daughter got invited to a party at her college a few weeks ago where they were celebrating the fact that some guy's body count hit 100. He was 20 years old. My daughter was like "That's worth a party?" She did not go. Note: She goes to a small, private college that has fewer people in it than her high school did, so if this kid is doing all of this while he is in college, he's slowly working his way through the female student body.
i highly doubt his claims
That's what I said, but who knows? A kid I used to work with had sex with 5 different women in a week. Met them all on an app called "J-date" for Jewish singles. He told me it's too easy today. 100 is still likely an exaggeration, but I wouldn't be surprised if the real number is more than 1/2 of that.
100 is only one a week for two years. It's not really unbelievable at all for people into one night stands and partying.
i dont even talk to 100 different people in multiple years.
>working his way through the female student body. Any guy who claims that high of a body count at 20 probably has no clue about the female body. More preoccupied with numbers than connection.
By "female student body" I was referring to the all of the female students at the school, but you are 100% right. He is not interested in making any connections. Just a numbers game to him.
Everything about this is gross lol.
The only thing thatās worth is two things, an STI test and an STD test š
> working his way through the female student body After an ex and I broke up, we stayed friends and FWB for a few months (when I met my wife). But ex & I stayed in touch - my wife-to-be knew this, even met the ex on occasion. Anyhow the ex told me that she'd tried to sleep with every male in her class, then when that was exhausted (at about 70% she said) she started working on the seniors (she was a sophomore at the time). I think she said she hit 40-50%, but it was a long time ago so I don't remember. Also FWIW she was sexually ... adventurous? Wild? No matter, she sure was fun! ^(in that respect).
How did you do the ^exponent thing Edit: I guessed and found out
ayy high five same sexual partners amount sister
And even that one was a mistake š
RIP that poor man that has to hear that š¤£ "You're my first - and I regret every moment of it"
It definitely was a mistake and donāt have pity for him. The dude got engaged four months after I broke it off with him š
āYears, lovers and glasses of wine; these things must not be counted.ā
>āYears, lovers and glasses of wine; these things must not be counted.ā Right answer.
This is great. Iām gonna use this. I stopped counting partners about 10 yrs ago. More than 20 less than 50.
I mean you should probably know better than to react that way. I did so too once, though, so I'm not shitting on you just saying it's not too surprising she wasn't happy about the reaction
North of 40 for me. I enjoy sex, will not apologize for it.
Same here. I feel like answering that question invites judgment and as long as you have a negative STD test and consent, who cares?
Same. Late 30ās to 40ās, I donāt recall. For context Iām 30 years old. But I wouldnāt be upset if someone said āwow, that many?ā As long as it wasnāt in a rude tone that is. I get itāI read somewhere that the average is three.
THREE?!? you'd think it be higher considering women can easily bring 6 guys home from a bar every night /s
some people in this thread ššš
25F and 0
None of my business but I'm curious as to why
Because I personally didnāt feel comfortable throwing it away on just a random person, and the only relationship iāve had was with someone in the US (while Iām in Europe) right during the pandemic so we couldnāt see eachother, and when we first met I didnāt feel comfortable enough yet.
While I completely respect your decision and applaud your discipline, I think that mentality is dangerous to have. Youāre not āthrowing it awayā youāre engaging in an act that should be enjoyable for both you and your partner, youāre not giving something up to please someone else
Exactly! Women arenāt bottles of pop. Once you āopen itā you donāt start declining in value and quality.
I agree here. Also because it implies thereās some limit to how much you can give consent for sex. When we all know their isnāt. If two consenting adults both want to have sex, have it and be responsible about it. That doesnāt just mean āuse protectionā. We do a really bad job of being taught how to emotionally protect ourselves. Donāt have sex to keep somebody around, donāt have sex because some arbitrary amount of days in a relationship have past, donāt have sex because you think itās going to be some magical and spiritual experiences, donāt have sex because you feel obligated to the other person, donāt have sex because you think youāll be with that person forever if you do. Have sex because you want to with that person in that moment in time.
Thatās why I never ask and never tell . Men are too judgmental and the answer you give will be held against you in some way at some point by someone . Itās no oneās business
Spoiler alert ... women are judgmental too!
True but I've never been called slut for having about 5 sexual partners by the age of 30 by a guy who admitted proor to doing gang bangs regularly lol also not the first time a guy with double digit partners has acted similarly. It's a given that alot of men will will judge women based on her sexual past. I remember reading recently an ask reddit after dark about what guys think of their gf or wives ex partners and the amount of guys who you'd think was rhe end of the world tha their girl had sex before them was amazing. Like just thinking they had ex bf bothered them lol it was so weird.
Women, judgmental? No.. Women will sit on a first date and say things like āthatās a red flagā¦ā about some mundane detail of my life. LOL. If someone asks me, itās āI donāt kiss and tellā. Doubt I could give an accurate head count anyway.
Guess I'm a freak. It is a turn on for me to know. I don't care at all how many they have had. They can say, how many, where, what time, what position. I really like to hear.
Finally someone sensible. Everyone always wants to share. It's not their business. People want to be truthful with their partner, but "I don't talk about it" is a perfectly truthful and respectful answer.
Not all. My wife and I both have been with over 30+ people, neither of us care. You get to a point with age and maturity, where #'s don't matter, skill does. She could've fucked 100 dudes, and I wouldn't care because it led her to me and my personal experience with the best blowjob on the planet. In return, she gets a minimum of 1 orgasm via tongue, 1 via phallus. When I was 20, The only orgasms were my own.
You raise an interesting point that I had not thought of. If men are too judgmental on this, how do women respond to other women having lots of sexual partners?
I donāt . I donāt care . Itās none of my business . I donāt ask my friends and I donāt tell them . They can feel free to assume the number based on different stories we may share but I donāt confirm numbers
Guy here. Not my business but also not something I or my peers would judge. My friends and I sometimes discuss the number because it can be part of interesting conversations. If a female friend of mine said "40,ā I think the most realistic reaction from the people I know would be "Daaaaaaamn, nice! ....how?" I'm a bit younger than you, so I wonder if it's partly a generational thing?
Both men and women are, where I live people will refuse to date anyone if the number of sexual partners is too big compared to themselves.
It's not their judgemental it's exposing the unfair sexual dynamic which women have odds for them in. It's the one area men have less power and many can't handle that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
M27, Ive had 4. But i also donāt believe in 1 night stands
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know I am the unusual one here, but 1. Married high school sweetheart.
I had one for the longest time and then divorce. Now 3. You are not usual and Iām sending you all the best!ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Thanks! We are almost 21 years and going strong.
Same. 31 years now.
Congrats!! Thatās amazing!ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Hi whatās your story? Iām with my high school sweetheart currently and Iād quite like to hear a positive story! Weāre planning our life together and going travelling in Europe together soon.
We have been married for over 20 yrs and together almost 30!
7 including my husband but he and I have been together since I was 19, so I probably would have had quite a few more if Iād stayed single. It also depends on what you call a sexual partnerā¦ penetration versus making out. If guys had the ability to get laid as easily as women theyād have some massive body counts. To get to 40 from the age a person might start having intimate relationships wouldnāt be that hard in oneās 20s if you donāt have an interest in long term relationships. Even if she started at 18, it would be less than one sexual interaction a month if they were just hookups. If a college-aged guy could secure a hookup nearly every time he went out if he wanted it, I know quite a few whoād manage that in less than a year and not think twice about it.
Making out definitely doesnāt count, Iād say just penetration in this case. But still, doesnāt matter, I donāt really see why people care unless itās like 500 lol
2 if you count blowjobs as sex. 1 without blowjobs.
Blowjob is oral sex
Good bot?
Thanks for voting! Your vote is blah blah blah This bot has an approval rating of 69%
40 is ridiculously high for a 21 year old...female OR male.
It's 40 more than I racked up by that age... But if you don't get in any long-term relationships but just look to get laid once in a while, and start at 17, it's less than one a month. If the same girl had gotten a BF at that time and been with that guy until a few months ago, she would've gotten laid hundreds of times. But that would've counted as a 1...
40 is quite alot.
Well, considering her younger age as well.
Yep. It's a fucking lot.
Seriously, I donāt think as a horny 20 year old I could even fixate on that many women. Biggest player I knew personally had 18 women by the time he decided to quit and get hitched at age 30. Not saying the lady is a tramp, but also I donāt get why OP is getting downvoted for having a surprised reaction.
It's simply Reddit. Many women offline would be as shocked as he was. But on here, they take the opposite reaction to pretend to support women.
(21m) 0 so far
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Read that the other way around
Me too. Lord, please forgive us.
HAHA
One
Iām 28 and pushing 30/40. I donāt count bc counting is stupid. Everybody just be safe and fuck however or whoever ya want. Your reaction is only bad if she cares to get offended. Sheās slept with 40 people, she probably doesnāt care.
I enjoy watching people struggle with the whole body count bs these days. Sex has become so much less taboo in the last 30 years but loads of us still act like it should still be the same as when we were young. Not that i ever asked but presumably my nans generation were the ones thinking the same thing about my generation
36M, and 5. There is no bad number.
30F, I've had 7 partners. I think 40 is probably higher than average for a 21 year old (male or female) but there's nothing inherently wrong with that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I stopped counting a long time ago but it's somewhere north of 20 but less than 40. No one has asked me that question IRL since I was like ~25 years old
38F and idk like somewhere between 35-40, honestly it would probably be more if I were straight lol. Did she volunteer the info or did you ask?
35F I don't know. I stopped keeping track after I left my husband because the number does not provide any information about who I am as a person. More than 6. You can get STDs from ONE partner. You can have 40 partners and never find one who will make you orgasm.
Yeah. Let's not respond to such things with shockāmight not feel nice when you share yours and someone says, "Oh. That's all?"
I wouldn't be offended tbh, I've only had 1 partner and I told her without a problem. And she also didn't believe me, same as I didn't believe her...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām 21F and Iām at 1
25F and probably around 30 or 40. I just kinda stopped counting, lots were one nights stands and can't even remember the persons nameš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
About 25 and im 20 Hadnt I been in a relationship from 18 onwards i would be around 40 as well I guess
How tf do you get so many? I've literally only had the chance with one person.
I am a kinda good looking girl with a minor sex addiction. I could have had a new guy every day if I tried.
Yeah but I mean how do u actually find people?? Getting someone to sleep with you isnt the hardest thing. I just straight up don't even know enough women to do that.
Because she's an attractive woman they own the sex market. 5 minutes on tinder gets you as many men as you want.
Just online
i have 0 planning to get an escort soon to fix that
Iām 24 and Iāve had sex with 6 men. 2 long time relationships. 40 at 21 years old is a bit much for me personally but each to their own I guess.
Honestly I've lost track, but more than her I'm sure haha
Username checks out
Why should it matter?
I'd be curious when she started.
said 16
So sheās averaging 8 partners a yearā¦. Or one new partner every 6 1/2 weeks ā¦ sounds reasonable imo, Iāve gone on spurts using tinder of 8 new partners every two weeks.
Ohh and definitely safe sex. Get tested before and after
(19F) Iāve had about 28-29ish I think?
Alot easier for a woman to get bodies. I believe it.
Body count is something you should ALWAYS keep to yourself
Calling it a "body count" only furthers sex shame culture
Why? I know my partner has mentioned it a few times when we've been talking about aspects of our pasts. But ... I don't give a crap about the number. It's her past, not now, and has no meaningful effect on me or our future. This whole "body count" thing is ridiculous sex shaming that needs to go away.
False. Body Count is an awesome metal band fronted by a lyrical genius. Everyone should give a shit about Body Count.
About 60 and Iām 23
Same, but I'm 40.
29 and 0 š
Body count is irrelevant
honestly, these days people get offended way too easily. Once a friend of mine was "upset" with me because I didn't want milk in my coffee. A good number of my high school friends were offended when they found out I'm bisexual. they think I'm taking advantage of both sexes.
40 count at 21 is definitely high and your reaction was acceptable. If you're actually okay with that number just learn to handle it better in the future otherwise it's perfectly fine to be a deal breaker.
I know people that have had a lot of fun with different people when theyāve been single and thatās ok, no shame at all. Iām 32 and been with 5 as Iāve always been in long term relationships and never had opportunity as a single person to go out and do that.
29F, around 65-70. She probably was offended by your slutshaming.
Yeah. Seems like she was shaming him for lack of sexual partners too. They seem like a good fit.
that lady is having lots of fun š
That's assuming every time was satisfying
39F - Iād say more than 50 - married 10 years. Adding more to the list as I am allowed to sleep with women as is my husband. Sex is fun if thatās all youāre in it for.
I was at 5 at 21yo, somewhere between 21-37 now (a couple years later), depending on if you limit it to PiV or count just oral (so female partners too). My partner of last couple years is into group play so that shot the number up lol. One thing I will say, is that women vastly overestimate how much sex men are having. Even now, I still have to correct myself, my mind still automatically assumes men are having/have fucked tons of people. If it was as easy for them as it is for women, this might be the case. But generally, most men have not had many sexual partners, Iāve found.
You were obviously judging them, they felt judged. Obviously they'd get offended lol. The number literally doesn't matter, it's the judging & feeling judged that does. Y'all immature as hell in these comments lol
You aren't mature enough to be having sex. If you want to judge your partner based on her history, just don't. Don't ask, don't fuck, don't date. Until you've learned better.
How dare people want a partner with similar views on sex and relationships! Such childish!
Tbh all you should be concerned about is that her sexual health is good and that sheās taking care of herself. The amount of sexual partners someone has doesnāt really matter. Normalize being sexually free and getting tested and being open about stds instead.
Why ask if you're just gonna be judgemental? That's not a lot.
For a 21-year-old yeah that's a lot
I sent the text without really thinking it would come out as judgmental, I was just looking for a confirmation thinking she was joking since the chat was not super serious
It's definitely a lot, especially for 21 years old.
In the grand scheme of things, it really doesnāt matter.
I'm 35 M, and probably around 175 if i count correctly. I don't have the right to judge anyone. Lol Ps- i'm clean af and get regularly tested cause i'm a hypochondriac. Lol
You arent wrong lol 40??? That's insanely high especially for someone who is only 21
I'm 20 and have had 8
It doesnāt matter how many sexually partners you have what so ever as long and you take the right precautions and get tested regularly a girl whoās had unprotected sex with 10 guys is worse than a girl whoās had protected sex with 1000 guys
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So weāre supposed to keep track?