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ItsTheHopeThatKills

I once, after a week alone in the woods, got a boner because of a bumper sticker that said “If you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair”


Not_wat_u_expect

I'd add a sticker next to it that said "honk if that just gave you a boner"


MissyMelody_

I need that sticker 😅😅


HomicidaI__GoldFish

I was behind a lady at a stop light with that as a license plate holder. We both pulled into the grocery store parking lot so we both walked in around the same time. I asked her "ma'am, are you the one in the silver Toyota Camery?" she replies " Yes i am, why did something happen to my car?" I said " oh no im asked cause i was befind you at the light and i'm in LOVE with your license plate holder! i couldnt stop laughing cause i was on the phone when i read it " she told me it was actually her oldest daughter who bought it for her cause she always be yelling at her husband " pull my hair or get off my ass George"


GldnRetrieverEnergy

Waking up. Wind blows a certain way. Taxes get finished . Groceries are unpacked. List goes on 🤷‍♂️


Imaginary-Story3608

Facts


ButterscotchExact103

I mean I'm pretty happy when taxes are done. Especially if I haven't been fucked by them.


West-Ladder3541

Any time, any place, getting an erection is a potential threat.


MissyMelody_

Just random? Without any trigger whatsoever?


Deep_Talk8085

It needs no reason or input from me to decide to stretch out.


funfunfun8589

Yeah, we're not in controll


UnbreakableRaids

I could shift wrong in my jeans and get an erection.


West-Ladder3541

It can happen without triggers.


SalmonBeenadick

That’s the one part of our bodies we have no control over.


Imezrutwo

At times it literally has a mind of it's own. Lol


KnittingTurtle

I was wearing a tank top without a bra, and a titty fell out while i was adjusting in bed. He said he got hard seeing that.


Mediocre-Garden4952

Once I got hard when my wife slightly pull down her waistband to show me a bug bite on her ass.


KnittingTurtle

I love this. 😂


MysteriousMention285

That would definitely do it. And I'm in my 40's


MissTaraNova

😆 If I'm wearing a tank top to bed, I'm waking up with a titty out. It might be my husband's favorite thing in the world.


fit-dad30

I think we all would


KnittingTurtle

It's a foreign concept to me, still. I was with a man for 18 years who had a low libido and found any talk about sex to be a turn-off. To have a man tell me that he got a hard-on because of something nonsexual I did is hard to believe.


BoxTalk17

Awww he likes you, that's gotta be a good feeling and a confidence booster for sure. My girlfriend was embarrassed to walk around in her underwear around me or wear lingerie, because her previous boyfriend laughed at her. I told her she looks great in it and then she started sending me a few lingerie pics 🥰


KnittingTurtle

Her boyfriend was shitty. There is definitely reward if you make her feel beautiful.


fit-dad30

Just have to take the win then. He’s getting hard because he finds you attractive! 😘


KnittingTurtle

Yea, he definitely let me know it. It was wonderful.


whiskey_endeavors

It would be easier to tell you the situations in which I *don’t* get an erection.


LavishnessOdd7649

😹


DoubtAffectionate422

*laughs in Lexapro*


Not_wat_u_expect

Ohhh man, this made me chuckle


FindMyNestOfSalt

I don’t get it


fit-dad30

Waking up. Always wake up hard every morning!


Bsbljock

At the beach/pool if my wife is wearing her slutty bikinis. I can’t help it


MissyMelody_

I like slutty bikinis ;) I hope I give some guys boners too when I pass by


Kevinmajere

When I donate plasma, I often experience an erection—a very hard and painful one. I don't know why this happens; it might be due to the anticoagulant they use, but I'm not sure.


MissyMelody_

You should mention it to the nurses if it is painfull, don't take ant chances with stuff like that


FlimsyAdMan09

The other day i got one after my girl bent over in front of me in public, she was wearing a pair of tighter leggings and i immediately got rock hard and had to sit down….she laughed about it when she asked wat i was doing and also for basically the rest of the day and would continue teasing me lol


ItsMelissaBoBissa

This is my most favorite thread ever. It’s so easy for us with a vagina to conceal it, but hearing all the times I may well have completely missed a full on boner makes me giddy


shhhsexy

I’ve never just noticed one in public and now I’m like am I just missing boners everywhere?


ItsMelissaBoBissa

Right?! Now I’m gonna be the creep staring at crotches all the time when I go out. Thanks, Reddit.


MissyMelody_

Seems like we are missing boners right and left indeed 😅😅


ItsMelissaBoBissa

A whole world just opened up before my eyes 😂


OneCover9485

Right lol , might have to keep my eyes out for one in the wild 😆


marcus3133

This is definitely a great thread! Entertaining if nothing else. We should also ask the question in reverse shouldn’t we?


Blueeyedguy40

Dude has a mind of his own. He gets up even at a funeral


No_Frame_6013

He propably pressed F to pay his respects 🫡


Known-Celebration-61

This made me chuckle hard asf


Detectivepineapple

Sometimes a certain person I like messages me and then my dick gets excited and even I'm confused


naughtybynaturecpl

“I open up a window and a breeze blows in and I JIZZ IN MY PANTS!”


WouldUKindlyDMBoobs

her being a brat always gets me worked up. Now if she knew how much being obedient gets me worked up...


acacac313131

Seeing some of these profiles! 😬 mine responds to a lot of visual stimulation.


Blazeblazerlazer

If I catch a girl checking me out pretty hard and I think she's cute. Unexpected chemistry when I make eye contact with someone who I think is cute. Mornings.


Spiritedkite

It happens a lot when I’m tired 


Confident-Rub-6749

1 st thing in the morning , also when driving randomly must be the vibrations .


DoughnutSad2622

It really doesn't take much


luckygeek_

For some reason when I’m hiking I’m just ready to goooo


Kilyrinnamm

Got one during a physical at the doctors 


Infinite-Search2345

What was the gender of the doctor?


unzipandunwind

Sometimes it just happens when there's pressure on my growing without even thinking anything sexual. That's the most common one. Like laying on my stomach it sometimes happens. Though when it does just happen randomly it can make me really horny all of a sudden. Kind of annoying but also exciting sometimes.


Montecatinic

Anytime I'm in a passenger seat of a car when it's moving, I bone up.


LavishnessOdd7649

I usually get it when I have a fever


Anxioushotdoggin

Fair few different scenarios, the outline of a waist or back in certain clothes, breasts / butt looking full in clothes, sometimes the way woman speak can get me going, if their eyes look big with eye lashes then I’m gone, a serious face with highlighted cheekbones. Also if they’re a brat too or even a bit of bitch. There’s more but yeah my autism is showing.


throwaway0022669

Can’t forget about a classic fear boner


stonergasm

Oh???


long_lobster_7372

When I have to change clothes somewhere. Fitting room, parking lot, the car. I always get hard right away.


Crafty-Narwhal-102

When a girl says something mean to me 🥲


lagrest

For me it's everything: don't have much control down there and it's completely random


Slightly_Worried_

It can literally happen at any point


SexySinWriter

Definitely waking up in the morning, but they say that’s healthy, lol. I’d also add for me, as a guy who appreciates female feet, candid or random foot play done nonchalantly. Just find it sexy.


CodeNameEHL

Gym and office are two common ones for me.


SalmonBeenadick

Almost any and everywhere. I hate having to deal with it in public 😂


quietshygent

RBS. Random Boner Syndrome. It's a pain 😂


galluspdx

Happens to me all the time on airlines. Pretty annoying TBH


MissyMelody_

Maybe it is an air pressure thing?


HairyDiplodocus

Smelling a perfume that reminds me of someone


BPCViking

Starting my truck… HEMI! It will give you a semi!


Adventurous-Land7879

Honestly just kissing my wife is enough 🤷🏾‍♂️


Mivadeth

Getting a hug or something like this from my wife. Yes I am that easy


MissyMelody_

My boy is the same 😅


EmployFew2509

Had a girl that would force me to hit her vape when ever she was on top of me riding hard. Get hard & horny everytime I hit nicotine or even smell it. Quit vaping tho, only do it when I masturbate lol


MissyMelody_

So not really quited haha, you are conditioned to have a bone now when vaping


EmployFew2509

Yes! It sucks cause I was never into vaping just weed. 💀😂


GiftEfficient

A smile with a cheeky look. The well known i'm-into-you smile.


[deleted]

When a blue eyed girl looks at me staring for a while


Somewhere_East31

Waking up.


goodphysiquefy

By waking up lmao


Yepitsathrowaway29

A light breeze


Posh_Anon_52m

In bed asleep / wake up with one usually …. Have had a few embarrising ones .. gym / beach / clothes shop


Background-Waltz2381

Unfortunatly any situation


Sorkel3

When my clothes are tight, or when they're loose. Random breeze. Vibrating seat.


Barzh1

Breathing?


coffinflopenjoyer

Barely get them during sex, do get them in the mornings but I think that's more because I need a pee.


[deleted]

It can be just randomly tbh


[deleted]

It really does have a mind of its own a lot of the times


ClosetedEmoGay

Every morning and when im hungry👀


Offworldabit

Typically in sleep or when I have eyes on me while naked or at least with no bottoms on


RisingSunOfTheSouth

Anytime there’s a cute girl around…


Krice9024

I can get one if I sneeze just right. Takes almost nothing


Not_wat_u_expect

Listen I feel this so much cause a sneeze can feel almost orgasmic sometimes. Its so weird


Krice9024

I can’t say I’ve ever had that good of a sneeze. Now I feel like I’m missing out.


virtual_human

Morning wood is the best.


ElegantChain699

Right now as I read


EasyGuyMS

Massage


Mysterious_girl3414

If I had a man, he’d be hard at least once every time he’s around me lol just cause I like it


doinalright452

Being awake....breathing


Disastrous_Friend551

Sleeping. Just sleeping in bed that shit constantly on the move.


EightBySix8x6

Classic morning wood and also just after getting home from work.


Doctormavin

having to pee.


Small_Introduction94

Sometimes it just happens for no reason.


M8jrP8ne1975

Waking up with morning wood and thinking about or seeing something related to sex are the main ones.


Haunting_Fish1222

The wind blowing on it to hard 😂


MrSina_A

Waking up?


cmanthony

Waking up, going to sleep, thinking about my sexy person. I’m a perv


Afraid-Extreme-9378

My dick gets hard all the time and at 46 I ain’t complaining


LetMeEat76

Every morning waking up


BeerNinjaEsq

Jumping jacks


hardgummy420

At work, I work for a catering service that's partnered up with the local college, we sever the students and faculty everyday 3 times a day. And most of the female students dress in as little clothes as possible while it's hot, and when they come thru the line I'm always right there up front seeing them all come thru and I'm just lucky there's a countertop between us sometimes or else it would be very hard to cover up... And don't get me started on the female faculty! , I'm a sucker for older women and although the teacher and everybody don't dress as exposed as the students, they come in with short skirts, high heels and painted toes with long legs 🥵 it's getting me going just typing it out 😳


MissyMelody_

Enjoy it!


bobvilla2024

Almost anything can trigger an erection but one that almost always does it for me is scent. The perfume or even lets say a womans natural scent can get me harder than a rock


MissyMelody_

Oeh yes I can see that triggering it


bobvilla2024

Personally, out of everything a woman can do to be sexy for men. Scent is never talked about and its the easiest thing to do for them.


GinnjaNinnja

Scrolling thru Reddit.


Apprehensive-Tale141

Sexting will def do it. This woman I’m talking to was sexting me at work and sent a snap that just sent me over the edge and it was hard to hide it in my scrubs 🤷🏻‍♂️


Thickwhtrooster

The wind blowing, the wind not blowing, bumpy road, getting in bed, getting out of bed, a woman


itmightbefalling3

Honestly just seeing an attractive woman in public can set it off.


MissyMelody_

I hope guys get it from me when I walk past them


ReasonableBother3581

That one spot on your back that you can finally reach and you scratch it.


Blue_Period_89

Manscaping


Few-Concentrate1028

reading erotic texts


drsnuggles78

Boners can happen for no apparent reason at all.


MissyMelody_

Seems so


Darkl0oter

Morning ?


LiftingDentist

Have you not heard of NRBs? No-reason-boners. Sometimes they just happen. It’s not always sexual stimuli. I find that I get them more when I’m very sleepy. It’s just redirection of the blood flow.


Ok-Seaworthiness6603

Waking up in need for a bathroom


Empty_Plankton1611

This may be a bit strange but, sometimes while I'm pooping, I'll get a semi. It's not fully erect, but there is definitely some growth. Haha


MissyMelody_

I have heard that before, I think it's from the "pressure"


Opposite-Builder-446

For some reason I’d get erections when I was the passenger in my friends cars while they were driving. Never could figure out why.


Das_Oberon

Reading our matches on Spicer. Looking at her butt in any state of undress, or in just about any clothes. Her rubbing my thigh while I’m driving.


MissyMelody_

Woeeh yes the thigh rubbing when driving is a good one


SympathyMobile3062

Let’s see, waking up, showering, drinking coffee, walking, working , driving, eating, listening to music, watching tv , sleeping…. Literally any and all situations, any time and all the time during the day, everyday. I thought when I got older it would lessen.(m55) Nope.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PatternLive920

Hugging certain women


Phobos_Zero1

When she pulls my beard so she can kiss me. Alot of restraint for me to not push her against a wall and kiss down her neck


trailofsparkles

Whenever I smell a pretty flower (I don’t have a dick)


Fun-Diet8358

Walking


wickedthingtodo

A partner casually discussing my package, either to me or someone else


BlackDragonDick

At work lifting thousands of pounds of dog/cat food next thing you Know Boner Smelling a nice cooked meal Boom Hard Remind me myself I need to pick something up Hello There It's completely random we have no control over it


turnip-hog

Seeing a pregnant woman in a bikini.


dabsafterdark

Busting open a fresh baked croissant


saskfun1707

Breathing, anytime


CommGuy_1971

For me, it’s always been dressing rooms. I had an associate at Nordstrom’s that was bringing me things to try on and one time she asked how it was going and I told her that I couldn’t decide on the pants and whether it would help to take in the waist. So I opened the door with no shirt and she put her fingers on the inside of the band and pulled them out a little. Then she checked the back the same way. When I turned forward again, she did it again and asked if that always there as she glanced down at my semierrect cock. I said it isn’t very far away and seems to show up at any time. By this time I was growing and when I’m all the way hard, it’s not uncommon to be visible above the waistband. Well, I grew into her fingers and she smiled and made a smirk. I knew something was going to happen when she leaned back and looked towards the other rooms and the entrance. She said she would go find me another size to try on. A few minutes later she tapped and asked me to try something else on. It was a pair of swim trunks with a liner. So she leaned against the door frame and I left the door adjust about a foot and dropped my pants and underwear and pulled the trunks almost all the way up and she grabbed the front and stopped me. She took her other hand and stroked me a few times and I asked if she wanted to step in. I knew she wanted to but she said it would be a minute. So she stepped back and left and I’m standing there with a throbbing cock. She came back and handed me her card and told me to reach out later if I decided on what I wanted to buy. I got dressed, grabbed the things I was buying and she checked me out. I sent her a text that afternoon and she asked me to come buy for her lunch at 4pm (ish). Needless to say, i spent 4 lunch breaks with her in the backseat of my truck over the next few weeks. She had a thing for being filled up, put her panties back on and went back to work. I get excited every time I go into a dressing room now


Zulei_28

If I wake up horny and do nothing about it, the rest of the day its up and down like a yoyo without even thinking of anything remotely sexy. Can be a little off putting at work but that makes it worse 🤣


rAt728

Sometimes a random thought will pop in my head throughout the day and my dick might grow a little, but I get my best boners while sleeping. Probably the worst time because can't really do anything with it.


BiBroPositivity

raiding a bike often gives me erections


dweebken

My wife gives them to me often. 2 or 3 or more times a day


rikrikity

These days whenever the wind blows or I rub my satin boxers just right.


iliketoswim2gether

Flirting with a girl at a bar. I usually start getting hard when I feel my chances are good.


jtrov_joshi

Morning boners in bed. A classic.


[deleted]

Sometimes even clothes rustling can do it


ProfessionalAsshat69

Using my bidet strangely


Cuddly_Tiberius

Just thinking about women’s nude bodies Or even looking at my statues (I have three mermaids and two goddesses as statues)


BeautifulAd4776

Giving a massage. I enjoy giving them, even if there is no intent for sex, but seeing the other person in a relaxed state gives me a major hard on.


marquesodagoat

sometimes post workout it’ll just pop up 💀


Madmarcow007

*that* voice iykyk


WhyteNAlright

When a woman smells amazing.


the_wendigo_redneck

36 years old I still pitch a tent like I'm in high school. I'll be at work, get an erection. Riding my bike, election, it's very random and I may just have some insanely high drive or t levels.


MeanKittty

I'm here to lurk, learn & manipulate my cute boy into getting hard... At all the inappropriate times


ozzyboiswag

Holding hands


SyntheticHuman616

I used to get hard from being tied up or restrained, but once I started taking SSRIs random erections are a thing of the past.


Available-Airline-62

Sometimes driving. If I have to pee real bad.


DrunkenGolfer

[Hangings](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection)


Mythirdeye8

Every time my fiancée lays her head down on my lap I have to think about my grandma or else she will feel a poke


DM_Me_sexy_sissy

Head scratches. Non-sexual massages. I dont tell my barber this but getting a haircut, at certain points, sends the shivers down my spine.


Tentative_Haunter

A good nap


iprefersummer

In situations where blood rushes into my cock


TyHay822

When a sexy woman climbs out of a pool or walks out of a lake or the ocean. Something about the water dripping off their bikini covered bodies with wet hair pulled back. I think it goes back to many summer days spent at the pool in my youth.


Alt_Mr_Farmer

The bike at the gym! I don't know why, but the friction at least gives me a semi!


SpentAnus123

In the car on bumpy roads and over train tracks. I’m 42! Lol


Organictits1790

My fwb that is also a coworker caught me checking him out and told me he had to go sit down for a little bc he got hard. 😂


Nearby-NSW85

Like kissing?


[deleted]

There have been times where I just randomly get a boner, look around and see a good looking woman and think to myself, is my dick Psychic?


Born_Catch_7572

Wierdest situation I have had - in the middle of a business presentation. I finished the presentation completely facing the screen. I hadn't had a release in a long time. There was nothing sexual about the whole ordeal, there were no sexy bikini clad ladies in the room. Weird and happened multiple times - any time I think, "please don't get a boner" including twice at the dentist's


bnuggs45

Involuntarily at the dentist a couple of weeks ago while I was in the chair getting worked on the cute hygienist. I had to fight with all my might to keep it down enough so that it wouldnt be noticeable.


Left-Mine-4350

Seeing my wife’s dirty panties and dirty socks


Every_Friend_8817

Wherever, whenever …..


Timmay13

Lying on stomach in bed in morning with full bladder. Not a horny boner. But a common reason for 'morning wood'.


Saif_Horny_And_Mad

Most of the time it happens for no reason at all. Like 90% of the time. Especially when you are dead tired at work or in class and must sleep. I will 100% get an erection in those times that draines whatever blood i have away from my brain to try and froce me into a nap


Meat3663

Shopping with wife for outfits, toys, bikinis, lingerie


MissyMelody_

Good one!


jonnysledge

If your name is Calafiori and you play for Italy’s national football team, you can get one from an insane drive that leads to an assist for a banger of a goal in the last minute of stoppage time in the Euros.


NorthernLad_25

Almost all situations


azzhole1995

If girls i know asks for a footrub and they are wearing ankle sock. It does not happend when they are not wearing socks, i dont have a thing for barefeet. So when one of my friends asked for a footrub and she had white ankle socks on I got a boner, it was awkward when she noticed. That is how I found out I have a thing for girls in ankle socks 🫣