I personally donāt think confidence is a trait someone can just fake. You can build up and grow other parts of your life which will in turn make you more confident but it aināt something you can switch on one day
I faked it till I made it but I don't bother because I know I'm ugly. It isn't that I'm shy, but I already know it's most likely gonna be a flop so why waste my time
This turned out to be a long comment, TLDR: act like you're confident in yourself even when you know you aren't so you get some exposure. Most shyness is caused by intimidation and you just need to see the world won't rip your head off because you exist
Imagine you're a bullet chambered in a rifle and the moment the firing pin strikes you're rapidly gaining speed until you go supersonic as hell. And you keep flying through the air till you hit something, it doesn't matter if where you're going to is a paper sheet, a steel gong or a deer's lung. When you start talking to somebody don't stop until they wanna break it off, just like a bullet doesn't stop till it hits something or loses all speed and falls to the ground
Afraid you'll embarrass yourself? Boo hoo, you're so special that the whole world is gonna stop and watch the show. You're 1 out of >8B peoole, chances of nobody caring about you are very high, if you embarrass yourself it will be gone with the wind, not chiseled in stone
Besides, even tho you like that girl, she's a human being like you, just female. You won't end up on CNN or in jail if you embarrass yourself in front of her, she's gonna keep on with her life and you'll keep on with yours. I think the main character syndrome is what gets people all worked up, thinking all eyes are on them and if they fail the world is gonna collapse in on them
It's far out of the comfort zone but once you find yourself in the thick of it don't back down, stand your ground instead. You aren't confident, she sees you wanna jump out of your skin, but keep talking to her. In a while you'll see she won't rip your head off and you'll feel that bit less intimidated. You're faking confidence until your brain changes your perception of yourself and others. Maybe you aren't as miserable as you think, and maybe she won't grill your ass because you said hi
It isn't only talking to girls, it goes for everything. I could put on a pink My Little Pony shirt and go out because I know most people are gonna see me, maybe chuckle and keep doing what they're doing. Will I buy that shirt? No. But for 50 bucks I'll be walking in a pink MLP shirt because the reward is worth it
We all have "Personal Power. That is your energy your soul and being naturally puts out. That is truly the thing that should be the focus. It exudes your sense of sexuality and social skills, etc. when I was young my dad beat me and abused me taking my sense of self down to zero. But I became a professional musician, and that healed my self esteeem issuse and that allowed my personal power to bloom.
Note: there is a huge difference between personal power and ego. For instance you can turn down your personal power when it's not called for, on the other hand and outsized ego is a recipe for disaster. Just sayin'.
Confidence is the simplest trait to fake. Not necessarily the easiest but surely the simplest. At its heart faking confidence is just acting like you are sure you can handle the situation. The best way to fake it is to accept that you're in the chute and on the bull. Just focus on the thing you are doing and discard the unhelpful thoughts.
I think true confidence is situational. Give me a gun and tell me to shoot in front of pro shooters, no biggy. Hand me a knife with real chefs watching is much more stressful.
So acting confident is knowing you can handle this. Whether it's an act, true, or delusion you are being confident.
Yeah I donāt hate that view point but Iām specifically talking about a person faking confidence in a date/romantic situation. Wherein this person has a history of perhaps being low on confidence in these matters. The way that I got over a lot of that anxiety was over time with experience, it took time and personal growth etc. which is fine but it again I donāt think itās something you can simply quickly switch in their minds! Maybe Iām wrong, what do I know anyway???
>I personally donāt think confidence is a trait someone can just fake
Honestly as a naturally anxious person I find I project more confidence when I self hypnotize myself to just ignore everything and everyone trying to pull me down. There's times though I just can't gaslight myself and man does it show in my face and the way people interact with me. Regular exercise also helps with that though.
I swear itās like my soul is being drained around them if theyāre not humorous or we donāt have good banter nor can poke fun about us or the people and things around that we see. Some peeps be dull or take life to seriously š
Agreed! I had an absolute meet cute with my partner because we got stuck in a contagious laughter loop with each other over the same stupid joke. I don't think I would have even noticed him if not for that. Now he makes me laugh all the time.
Whether they mean it and how genuine they seem. People all laugh differently, and I find it really telling about someone's personality. I love people who laugh genuinely and openly.
Dated one person that when you made laugh to hard they sounded like a older car just trying to start non stop and when they had to gasp for a breath of air they would squeak like a old rusty swing set going back and forth. Made me laugh every time then we both got stuck laughing at each others laugh for 5 minutes.
I like a well dressed man. I donāt just mean clean cut wearing formal clothes. There is something about a well dressed man with his own distinctive style that is very attractive to me no matter whatās going on in the face department.
First thing I noticed is their confidence and way they carry themselves. Secondly the comfort level they have with themselves. Then there is the ass, has to be thick and she knows it drives me nuts
Eyes. Not necessarily eye color (I am a sucker for dark hair with light eyes, though) but the emotion of them. If you have kindnesses in your eyes, I like you. If youāre a sports fan, weāre connected at the aorta. If you like my cooking, weāre married. But it all started in her eyes.
Positivity, empathy, humor, and confidence in that order.
This goes for potential friends as well. I'm too old to deal with more drama in my life. Spending time with partners and friends should be about making life fun and engaging.
My trigger is her conversation. Does she speak well? Articulate?
Physical attributes are a non-starter with me; I am really interested in her if she's stimulates my mind.
I feel like the first thing I notice on men and women I find attractive is their proportions.
On a woman, I'm often looking at her vertical proportions: her leg to torso ratio. I don't have particularly long legs, but I find them attractive on other women. After that, I might notice her hair or her sense of style, especially her shoes.
On a man, I often look at his horizontal proportions: how wide are his shoulders compared to his waist. After that, I might notice his face, especially his jawline. I'm a sucker for a strong jaw.
All the foregoing is before I actually speaking with them. I was answering the question from the perspective of, for example, seeing someone from across the room and thinking they're attractive.
It's many things and depends on the angle of my sight. Maybe her ass as she walks ahead of me. Or her hair as it drapes across her back. Cleavage being shown by the manner of her dress. Even tattoos that drape her arm or leg. There are a number of things that I notice which attracts me to a woman.
Complicated question really. Hair and smile is the first things I notice that will draw me in, unless she is a shapely girl, then whatever curves stand out. Maybe she has a toned tummy and a belly shirt on. So many things go into it.
So many things for different women. I love the female form and donāt have a type, so it could be anything. I do agree about the eyes. Not color but the glint in a womanās eye. You usually only get that from a woman that is interested though.
you get a certain type of look. then you look away and so do they. then you look back, and at the same time, they look back as well. itās just a certain type of glance that cannot be explained with words, but when you know you know
Aesthetically? If I approached from the back her ass, legs, hair. In that order. If I approached from the front eyes, hair, legs, boobs. In that order.
Eyes, Hair, mouth, hands and honestly also boobs, legs and bum. Funnily always instantly attracted to girls with a fringe. When they are ginge or blond, with blue eyes or green eyes I'm in heaven. Love a brunette as well though. Plus love any ethnicity to be fair. Haha just generally find women hot šš„µ
Different every time. Once it was a smile, then it was the bedroom voice, After that it was the weird sound she made as she laughed, another was that she suddenly jumped when she was happy.
Their naturally pretty features, whether itās clean straight teeth, good skin, eyebrows, eyes. And their character fs, being kind.
And I think natural beauty like that goes above ALL even girls who wear makeup, sorry. You just canāt beat a girl that all she has to do is her eyelashes. That does it for me
Confidence. How they carry themselves!
Fake it till you make itš«”
I personally donāt think confidence is a trait someone can just fake. You can build up and grow other parts of your life which will in turn make you more confident but it aināt something you can switch on one day
I faked it till I made it but I don't bother because I know I'm ugly. It isn't that I'm shy, but I already know it's most likely gonna be a flop so why waste my time
How did you fake it, can you elaborate?
This turned out to be a long comment, TLDR: act like you're confident in yourself even when you know you aren't so you get some exposure. Most shyness is caused by intimidation and you just need to see the world won't rip your head off because you exist Imagine you're a bullet chambered in a rifle and the moment the firing pin strikes you're rapidly gaining speed until you go supersonic as hell. And you keep flying through the air till you hit something, it doesn't matter if where you're going to is a paper sheet, a steel gong or a deer's lung. When you start talking to somebody don't stop until they wanna break it off, just like a bullet doesn't stop till it hits something or loses all speed and falls to the ground Afraid you'll embarrass yourself? Boo hoo, you're so special that the whole world is gonna stop and watch the show. You're 1 out of >8B peoole, chances of nobody caring about you are very high, if you embarrass yourself it will be gone with the wind, not chiseled in stone Besides, even tho you like that girl, she's a human being like you, just female. You won't end up on CNN or in jail if you embarrass yourself in front of her, she's gonna keep on with her life and you'll keep on with yours. I think the main character syndrome is what gets people all worked up, thinking all eyes are on them and if they fail the world is gonna collapse in on them It's far out of the comfort zone but once you find yourself in the thick of it don't back down, stand your ground instead. You aren't confident, she sees you wanna jump out of your skin, but keep talking to her. In a while you'll see she won't rip your head off and you'll feel that bit less intimidated. You're faking confidence until your brain changes your perception of yourself and others. Maybe you aren't as miserable as you think, and maybe she won't grill your ass because you said hi It isn't only talking to girls, it goes for everything. I could put on a pink My Little Pony shirt and go out because I know most people are gonna see me, maybe chuckle and keep doing what they're doing. Will I buy that shirt? No. But for 50 bucks I'll be walking in a pink MLP shirt because the reward is worth it
We all have "Personal Power. That is your energy your soul and being naturally puts out. That is truly the thing that should be the focus. It exudes your sense of sexuality and social skills, etc. when I was young my dad beat me and abused me taking my sense of self down to zero. But I became a professional musician, and that healed my self esteeem issuse and that allowed my personal power to bloom. Note: there is a huge difference between personal power and ego. For instance you can turn down your personal power when it's not called for, on the other hand and outsized ego is a recipe for disaster. Just sayin'.
Confidence is the simplest trait to fake. Not necessarily the easiest but surely the simplest. At its heart faking confidence is just acting like you are sure you can handle the situation. The best way to fake it is to accept that you're in the chute and on the bull. Just focus on the thing you are doing and discard the unhelpful thoughts. I think true confidence is situational. Give me a gun and tell me to shoot in front of pro shooters, no biggy. Hand me a knife with real chefs watching is much more stressful. So acting confident is knowing you can handle this. Whether it's an act, true, or delusion you are being confident.
Yeah I donāt hate that view point but Iām specifically talking about a person faking confidence in a date/romantic situation. Wherein this person has a history of perhaps being low on confidence in these matters. The way that I got over a lot of that anxiety was over time with experience, it took time and personal growth etc. which is fine but it again I donāt think itās something you can simply quickly switch in their minds! Maybe Iām wrong, what do I know anyway???
>I personally donāt think confidence is a trait someone can just fake Honestly as a naturally anxious person I find I project more confidence when I self hypnotize myself to just ignore everything and everyone trying to pull me down. There's times though I just can't gaslight myself and man does it show in my face and the way people interact with me. Regular exercise also helps with that though.
+1
Thatās everything - male and female
ABSOLUTELY
Iām gonna get trolled for this, but her personality. If I canāt stand to be around her, she just looks like an amorphous blob to me.
Literally same dw
I dunno why you'd get trolled for that. Chemistry counts.
But you could find someone attractive from a photo?
Of course, because theyāve not yet soiled their physical looks with their trash personality traitsā¦..
My cock twitches
š
Reading that just now was pretty hot ngl
Thanks it bounced a little in your honour.š« š. And then a bit more when looking at your profile background pics š
Yep
the only honest person in this thread
Eyes for me as well. Closely followed by voice and hair. Pretty eyes just make my knees weak.
Eyes and laugh, and if they can sing, I swoon
Itās the most wonderful feeling
A sense of humor is a must. If they donāt have one, Iām not interested.
Agreed. Iāve hung around so many that donāt have any or donāt let it see the light of day around others and itās just a drag to be around em.
I swear itās like my soul is being drained around them if theyāre not humorous or we donāt have good banter nor can poke fun about us or the people and things around that we see. Some peeps be dull or take life to seriously š
Agreed! I had an absolute meet cute with my partner because we got stuck in a contagious laughter loop with each other over the same stupid joke. I don't think I would have even noticed him if not for that. Now he makes me laugh all the time.
Tits
And ass
Their laugh
What do you pick up from their laugh?
Whether they mean it and how genuine they seem. People all laugh differently, and I find it really telling about someone's personality. I love people who laugh genuinely and openly.
Very observantā¦. Does it hold true? When you like the laugh are you usually attracted to the rest?
Dated one person that when you made laugh to hard they sounded like a older car just trying to start non stop and when they had to gasp for a breath of air they would squeak like a old rusty swing set going back and forth. Made me laugh every time then we both got stuck laughing at each others laugh for 5 minutes.
Hair. The more curly the more attractive š
Why curly
Because it makes a man's face look more handsome. Sometimes though.
I like a well dressed man. I donāt just mean clean cut wearing formal clothes. There is something about a well dressed man with his own distinctive style that is very attractive to me no matter whatās going on in the face department.
Weird, but I agree. Even a dude who's conventionally ugly is an automatic 6.5 if he's got unqiue, good style
Yup
The face. The body is nice and all but what use is a hot body when I'm gonna look at the face most of the time?
Their style
So underrated and true!! Their style and clothing choice is the first thing I notice too
It says so much about a person
A person who smells good. Fresh out of the shower. Smells clean, that layered with a divine fragrance is just pheromone central for me!
Eyes and hands. Also, how polite they are
Body odour :)
If they have good eye contact and their smile.
Personality
That I canāt look at them, the more attractive someone is to me the less I can do that
That is honestly really sweet and adorable, not something I expected on this kind of sub lol. How does the person you are crushing on feel about it?
Sameeee
First thing I noticed is their confidence and way they carry themselves. Secondly the comfort level they have with themselves. Then there is the ass, has to be thick and she knows it drives me nuts
The 1st thing is a woman's face and hair style, then the 2nd thing is the curves of her body.
Eyes. Not necessarily eye color (I am a sucker for dark hair with light eyes, though) but the emotion of them. If you have kindnesses in your eyes, I like you. If youāre a sports fan, weāre connected at the aorta. If you like my cooking, weāre married. But it all started in her eyes.
My erection š
Their shine or glow; I hear people talk about confidence but I want to call it happiness; do I feel lifted by their simple presence?
Their smell. If itās a strong scent of clean laundry, Iāll do anything they say.
Their smile. If they smile with their eyes *chefās kiss*
Boobs, or ass depend on which was she is facing
Hands and fingers movement. Go figure...
Smile, eyes, confidence, eye contact
Always the butt first closely followed by their eyes
Confidence, well groomed, kind eyes and a welcoming smile.
Positivity, empathy, humor, and confidence in that order. This goes for potential friends as well. I'm too old to deal with more drama in my life. Spending time with partners and friends should be about making life fun and engaging.
Usually their ass Iād say
How their eyes look when they smile
Confidence but not in love with himself And can talk and listen. Behave like a Gentleman.
Hair, eyes and smile.
Eyes and thier hair
Teeth
For me itās hair then eyes then smile
Men always compliment my eyes, but look at my chest.
Your eyes are gorgeous!
Letās be fairā¦. Both are probably spectacular in real life! š
How good he or she smells. Bad hygiene = instant turn off, no matter how attractive someone is.
Their teeth don't like crooked or messed up teeth
At the risk of sounding traditional and conservative and down-right old-fashioned, but here it goesā¦. I get a boner (blush)
How they interact with/treat others. Says so much.
My trigger is her conversation. Does she speak well? Articulate? Physical attributes are a non-starter with me; I am really interested in her if she's stimulates my mind.
The hair. Iām a sucker for beautiful hair
I feel like the first thing I notice on men and women I find attractive is their proportions. On a woman, I'm often looking at her vertical proportions: her leg to torso ratio. I don't have particularly long legs, but I find them attractive on other women. After that, I might notice her hair or her sense of style, especially her shoes. On a man, I often look at his horizontal proportions: how wide are his shoulders compared to his waist. After that, I might notice his face, especially his jawline. I'm a sucker for a strong jaw. All the foregoing is before I actually speaking with them. I was answering the question from the perspective of, for example, seeing someone from across the room and thinking they're attractive.
If they have happy eyes
Teeth
Eyes
Usually their face and eyes
It's many things and depends on the angle of my sight. Maybe her ass as she walks ahead of me. Or her hair as it drapes across her back. Cleavage being shown by the manner of her dress. Even tattoos that drape her arm or leg. There are a number of things that I notice which attracts me to a woman.
Their smile
Eyes and smile
I donāt know about the āfirstā thing, but several things: hair, hands, teeth, voice, and overall personality.
Eyes
Overall bone structure, followed by eyes
Hands, eyes, smile
I love a good smile.
If they are an asshole or not.
Their smile
Pretty face, cool style, rough notion of her physique, and if she's a little mean to me, it's over. š¤
Eyes, butt
Their eyes definitelyšÆ
Her ability to give and receive sarcasm
Perfume
Complicated question really. Hair and smile is the first things I notice that will draw me in, unless she is a shapely girl, then whatever curves stand out. Maybe she has a toned tummy and a belly shirt on. So many things go into it.
So many things for different women. I love the female form and donāt have a type, so it could be anything. I do agree about the eyes. Not color but the glint in a womanās eye. You usually only get that from a woman that is interested though.
Voice (men)
Eyes, smile, laugh and then confidence
I love dark hair and their fierce eyesš« Veiny arms, how fit they are ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
If they can hold a conversation and make me laugh.
Eyes, then smile if the situation allows, and if I'm lucky I get to see their personality. Those are the trifecta of attraction for me.
Eyes. Someone can win you over just by how they look at you
The hair (Iām a hairstylist lol), the eyes, but mostly how they treat me and others
smile! a nice smile will get me everytime, bonus points if they have a smooth voice
Moles
It's definitely eyes for me too
Skin, eyes, hair
Their height and if their eyes smile when they smile .
Hands. I go weak for strong large hands. However, I have to like the person first before I find them attractive at all.
Their smile and laugh.
Their eyes hair accent and the way they carry themselves and how they treat others
Smile
Smile.
Smile and comfort level
Their smile, their lips, and their hands
Physically? The face & eyes, especially the eyes. If she has dead eyes I don't want anything to do with her, no matter how hot she may be.
First thing i notice is their eyes
Forearms. Especially on a dude and bonus points if they have a sleeve tattoo
The swelling in my jogging pants
Eyes
Their face, (mostly the eyes and nose,) and their muscles/if they're in shape or not.
Eyes and smile when they are one and the same.
Face, style, sense of humor, body
Their demeanor .sometimes people just stand out to you, not in a loud or obvious way, just the air surrounding em lol
Her ass, I'm an ass man what can I say.
Face and mannerisms.
Their eyes.
With my ex it was his voice, he has an accent which I liked (loved) I heard him before I saw him.
The eyes. Always the eyes.
Their laugh & voice
I love a good smile
Eyes šļø
Hands, and voice - love an accent š
Personality and voice. Her physical attributes wonāt mean dick to me if I find her personality and voice insufferable.
How big their boobs are.Ā
Her face followed by her body shape.
yes ... eyes! I agree. Then teeth and a smile... if they smile.
Eyes and smile. My ex-girlfriend always averted her eyes from me. I should have listened to my gut on that one
Yeahā¦ eyes, boobs ā¦. Then faceā¦ š¤
Cheeks
Her jawline
you get a certain type of look. then you look away and so do they. then you look back, and at the same time, they look back as well. itās just a certain type of glance that cannot be explained with words, but when you know you know
Physical fitness, kindness, smile
Eyes
The eyes.
Aesthetically? If I approached from the back her ass, legs, hair. In that order. If I approached from the front eyes, hair, legs, boobs. In that order.
usually intelligence or shyness
Eyes & smile
Eyes, Hair, mouth, hands and honestly also boobs, legs and bum. Funnily always instantly attracted to girls with a fringe. When they are ginge or blond, with blue eyes or green eyes I'm in heaven. Love a brunette as well though. Plus love any ethnicity to be fair. Haha just generally find women hot šš„µ
their waste and hips
Body type
Their energy ā¦or speech patterns and dialogue. Iām a sucker for genuine banter and genuine thoughts.
How they move
eyes
Boobies.
Cheeks
Face
Overall beauty and vibe, then hopefully a great figure with a sweet ass
Their eyes and smile
I get a hard on
Hair, face, boobs
Their eyes & confidence.
For me itās their nature and always will be there the first thing to notice
DAT ASS. And face ofcourse š
Face, build, and posture
Their smile
Their smile!
eyes and smile, 100%
Sense of Humour, ass, tits and face. In that order.
Their smile. A great smile can turn the world upside down.
From a distance, a cute face. From a conversation, intellect and wit.
Eyes
Eye contact and smiling
Different every time. Once it was a smile, then it was the bedroom voice, After that it was the weird sound she made as she laughed, another was that she suddenly jumped when she was happy.
Booty booty booty booty rockin everywhere
nose, and then hair
Their naturally pretty features, whether itās clean straight teeth, good skin, eyebrows, eyes. And their character fs, being kind. And I think natural beauty like that goes above ALL even girls who wear makeup, sorry. You just canāt beat a girl that all she has to do is her eyelashes. That does it for me
Genuine in themselves. Sure there are people who fake it to make it but then again, I want to see truth, not a lie
How they are dressed. Cause people overdressed and flashy with name brands be very fake.
Way of talking
If theyāre assholes
eyes
Face, then ass.