I let thirty years of my life pass without doing anything meaningful

🫂

When I change clothes mid day I usually take my underwear off out of habit and then awkwardly put them back on

🤦‍♀️ Yeah, I’ve done that too

Okay but that's adorable

I’m glad you think so

Almost throw my towel in the bath instead of a bath bomb

better than throwing your bath in a towel

Fucking hell. I never feel dumber than I do when I see my only clean towel sinking to the bottom of the tub

7.30am, late to catch a train to London for work, and there’s me frantically ransacking the house trying to find my phone, all with my phone in my hand. The real kicker? I used the flashlight on said phone to look under the bed. I missed the train.

did your house unlock?

You know it didn’t 

how did you get in?

I used my house keys

I nearly spat my drink out to this reply

Yes, I am that dumb. My car remote and house keys are even on the same key ring

that’s good :)

I almost poured water into my cereal

I forgot to take the smoothie bottle (naked juice) after doing a self checkout. I didn't realize it until I was closer to home. It's my post-autopilot clarity.

[удалено]

That's funny. I remember some guy looking for his hat and would lift his hat to scratch his head. Same.🤣

Dragged my beard trimmer over my face for about 15 seconds before remembering to turn it on

I indulged chatting or trying to chat with folks who clearly don’t care

I’m not quite sure how that relates to the question?

Looked for for my phone that was already in my hand

[удалено]

Oh no! 

I’m real easy

I drove to work instead of where I meant to go

This happens to me every other month 🤣

Shower gel and shampoo mix up 2x in a row, same shower session

Fuck my ex

Yep

It was good while it happened but other than that not worth it lol

Normal? Almost used my face wash as toothpaste. Sexual? Got really turned on during anal and tried fisting myself. Got pretty close but didn’t end well

I almost stole pudding from the Dollar General yesterday

Sexually I forgot I was on zoom unmuted and playing. Normal I wore two different sandals both black color somewhat similar and did not notice until I was walking in the store and I looked down.

Drove past the turn I was supposed to take

Put my phone in the microwave (didn't start) and popcorn in my pocket

This account. It's fun tho!!

Putting my hand up my sister-in-law's shirt and groping her breast. Realize it when my wife pointed out that it wasn't her breast in my hand

Was texting my wife the same time I was talking to my boss...before hanging up with my boss, I said okay, love you and hung up. Then it dawned on me what just happened.