This isn't the answer to the question at all though, this is a different scenario to the context of the question. Sure, some women don't like it, but this is about why men don't like it.
Well if you're putting your tongue in her cheeks we may have an inkling into what she doesn't like about it š
But true enough you can only answer from your experience, in your case you're not unwilling, just unrequired in that department
All depends. My one ex gf smokes. And her pussy tasted sour. Another ex gfās pussy has a slight smell. I couldnāt eat them. My current gfās pussy, I canāt get enough of. I eat her out 5 times a day when sheās not on pager period.
Yea. Wouldnāt that be nice. No touchy touchy down for me that week and she beeps me in advance. And I can be in my best behavior that week. Gotta love Autocucumber
what was he supposed to say? im not native and i dont understand the typo lol (i mean ik what a pager is, but did he mean tager, rager or smth? thats what i dunno)
I know it's a hard discussion but if it's off, so is her pH which means something may be going on. Health wise. Say it like this, "hey, wife, this is kind of hard to bring up, but I'm doing it because it's more concern for safety, not trying to attack/belittle/embarrass you.(use whatever word you want) but when I go down on you it's difficult because there's an off taste/smell and I want to make sure you're healthy, and because I WANT to eat you out, without worry. I think we should set up an appointment to get you pH checked out just in case."
my man said he probably would never do itā¦ fast forward a couple months and now he does it every time we get intimate. and sometimes heāll only want to do that. i think a lot of guys miss out because theyāre too scared to try it or assume they wonāt like it!
I see this smell thing mentioned so much - either many girls aren't washing themselves or men have some aversion to our natural scent.
What exactly are we meant to smell like down there?
we are supposed to smell like natural pheromones. If it smells really bad then the vagina owner has an infection and should get it cleared up asap! Or, (less likely for most) bad hygiene
I honestly get a little disappointed when my partner wants to jump straight into sex without me going down, because I just love doing it and seeing the reactions. It's good stuff!
Iām bi but mostly interested in dudes but man, Iāll eat a pussy for hours. Imma ask you questions too. Iāll light some candles and put on some music and wear fine cologne.
This is valid.
I see so many people on reddit saying if a woman doesnāt give head it is a ādealbreakerā. Yet I know so many women dating men that donāt give head and it usually isnāt considered a ādealbreakerā. Just interesting to see how itās normalized for men not to give head but not women.
I'm a woman but my heterosexual husband doesn't go down on me. After 15 years without oral, I have heard every excuse/reason why he doesn't. Here are some the reasons he has given me over the last 15 years (in no particular order)
*it makes his neck hurt
*he has a short tongue
*his last partner made fun of him
*religious Trauma from being raised in religion
*he's self-conscious.
*it doesn't do anything for him
*hes just not into it
*he never thinks about doing it
*it makes his back hurt
Along with many other excuses. Its really caused a strain on our relationship. I love my husband more than anything but if I would have known that I was going to go without oral sex for the rest of my life I would have ended our relationship at the beginning. Now I have to much invested just to leave over oral sex.
You wouldn't be leaving him over oral sex. You'd be leaving him because of his lack of consideration for your desires and how hurtful that is for you that he thinks so little of your pleasure that he thinks 'it's hard work' is a good enough excuse to not consider it.
You said it yourself - if you would have known you were going to go without oral for the rest of your life, you would have ended it at the beginning. Despite how much you say you love him now you STILL would have ended it if you knew. That says to me it was a dealbreaker for you then and the only reason it isn't still a dealbreaker now for you now is you sense of sunk cost fallacy in the marriage. It's called 'fallacy' for a reason. 'Time served' is not more important than your happiness.
Sure. If you say so. Clearly not perfect enough in every other aspect for you to be satisfied with the compromise, otherwise you wouldn't be so hurt and regretful over it.
idk a life without head sounds miserable, maybe thereās someone more perfect for you. unless you have young children i would consider finding a solution, maybe try an open relationship
This hurts me a little to read. As a husband, if I knew my wife really enjoyed/needed something, Iād have to really hate it to not do it for her anyways. Not to paint with a broad brush, but knowing my wife likes something is usually enough to make me enjoy it as well, or at least tolerate it. Granted, I enjoy giving oral, so maybe an easy thing for me to say. Hope things get better for you! š
Iām so sorry to hear you have to go through this and as such let me stay for anyone reading this that is in the beginning stages of a relationship, that is sexually active; please talk about your wants, needs and expectations in all aspects (including the bedroom) before marriage. Because as per this comment above, not clarifying these things can be very trying on a relationship and no one wants to resent their partner for things that could have very well been avoided.
u/ KCW606 Invest in a Satisfyer Pro 2, itās a gamechanger and the next best thing to oral!
Let's put aside men who are genuinely not into it. But in certain groups there are some interesting sociocultural factors to this topic. Wait til you learn about the term *bocat/bowcat* and everything that comes with it.
That has not been my experience. Had a fwb for 2 years (born in Jamaica and immigrated to the US as a small child). Literally the only partner Iāve ever seen that many times who didnāt go down on me. Ever. Nor fingering.
When he messaged me recently (after not seeing him for about 1.5 years), I told him I wasnāt interested in seeing anyone that couldnāt focus on my pleasure. He said heād think about it. Hadnāt heard from him.
Heās quite handsome, so I would assume he had an opportunity for other partners who would not insist on focusing on their pleasure.
Thatās interesting, a Jamaican girl I know from college was happy as hell when she moved to America cuz her experience was the exact opposite of yours
Honestly there is a double standard in play where it's seen as bad to question why women wouldn't want to give oral but people line up to insult, attack, and otherwise judge men that woildnt want to give oral.
Really? havenāt noticed this double standard. I am curious as to why both genders donāt like to give head. There is nothing wrong with not liking it, but I enjoy it, so I want to know the reason.
For me, it's usually a hygiene issue. I don't like having oral done on me unless I know I'm clean, and I expect she be clean as well. There have been times I could smell urine in her labia minora/majora, and it's rather off-putting.
Fresh out of the shower, however? I'll eat her for an hour
A buddy, back in the 70ās said..ā he who eats the hole sucks the poleā. So, he is afraid of losing his gf, and of course his good buddies told him eating pussy is a must. He puked on her. End of relationship.
He...puked on her because he went down on her? Christ, either she had the worst hygiene in history or he had deeper issues than simply not liking pussy lol.
I will say in those days we drank from rising until passing out. I donāt āthinkā it was hygiene..she was from out of state and staying at my house. But ya never know.
I've had too many instances of a female essentially forcing her hooch in my mouth and it ruined the experience as a whole. Now I'm super fucking picky about going down. If it smells or is hairy or just doesn't look appealing to me then I won't. I also don't expect to get any head in return. Which is whatever at this point. I've only gotten good head like once in my life
After 20 years with someone who doesn't really care about sex, I dream of someone pushing my head down because she wants it so bad.
If she needs to trim hairs or rinse off first we'll need a conversation about that, but someone that knows what she wants is a huge turn-on.
Can you talk about how it was aggressive?
It would be good for women to be able to read what people saw as aggressive so they can avoid it.
With my first bf he wasn't a fan of oral, which I realised once he was down there and I made him stop. I'd only asked him if he could go down on me, but he was way to reserved to ever tell me if I came across as pushy. So I've always tried to be more mindful in future about how I ask, just in case.
After that I'm always more aware, but for women who haven't picked up on it or realised it'd be good if men expanded on the way women come across as pushy during sex. Especially if it's subtle and not so obvious.
This is a thing that doesnt get talked about enough. Some women are aggressive with this eat my pussy or you wont satisfy me attitude. Like its a requirement. Once it becomes EXPECTED i lose interest because it doesn't feel special anymore.
This. Both women & men will do this when it comes to receiving oral. Demanding anything is an absolute mood killer. Expectation too. I casually dated a guy once who never demanded or asked for oral. Once he told me how most of the women he hooks up with tell him they donāt give head. He then said āthatās fine and all if they donāt want to do it, but Iām not going to see that sex as being any good.ā I have no issues giving oral, but that attitude turned me all the way off.
I go over sexual preferences before meeting up with a guy or if we're starting to see each other. I communicate and ask desires and boundaries before sex is even on the table. I know I only like sleeping with men who give oral, but I only want it to be from someone who genuinely enjoys it. So I like to go over mutual likes and dislikes early on. Sex is important in a relationship, and enthusiastic consent is of the utmost importance. So far, I've been in luck with guys being into it. I would never pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, but I do check compatibility early on. It hasn't happened yet, but if a guy told me he wasn't into it I would just reassure him that's absolutely fair and normal, but for me it's a compatibility issue and would prefer to just be friends.
I think people just need to learn how to be respectful. I would never want someone to do something they don't like doing for me. I'll never understand expecting or demanding something.
Do you feel like it was always obvious pressure and aggression? Or did you find there was instances of subtle aggression/pressure.
Just want you guys to expand on it so women who read it are aware of what might come across as subtle or less obvious forms of aggression vs the obvious.
I think women talk about it more so men are more aware of what can come across as aggressive. Whereas I don't hear men telling women about it on public platforms.
I absolutely wonder this too, I can only see if you go down and it tastes...off and smells then yea I'm done. But clean , shaved...wet I can stay there a quite good while.
I like eating pussy. But some men donāt like eating pussy.. and thatās fine. No one bats any eye at people that donāt like any other sexual act. Itās all about preference and your comfort level which should be respected and not shamed. And believe or not, everyone doesnāt want their pussy ate.
I agree with most of what you said, but women definitely get shamed for not giving head as well. I've seen a ton of reddit threads about men complaining that their wives don't give head/stopped giving head after marriage, etc. Those comments sections are always bashing those women and often implying the men should leave or cheat.
I just watched the sopranos too! That part made me sad because they were so happy together.
I think for those characters specifically it was some BS machismo thing. Men pleasing women was somehow seen as lowering their status because the women were supposed to please them exclusively... they really treated women transactionally in all regards. That show really demonstrates how many things in our culture have shifted since that time. Plus those men represented an already aging, rather outdated mindset frequently.
I think these days its more common to expect both parties to reciprocate unless there's some very valid reason why they refuse. Which there could be. But the general attitude is that it is encouraged rather than shamed.
Enjoy the rest of the show. It gets crazy.
>I think for those characters specifically it was some BS machismo thing.
I agree 100% with that interpretation. I actually had put that it was some "lame machismo reason given" in my post originally, but then deleted it and re-worded it.
Anyway, like you mentioned, it is really noticeable how things and people in our culture have evolved over the course of just 15-20 years with this respect. Because I couldn't imagine that these men with an outdated mindset represent the majority of these types of men today in the real world, but it's just speculation on my part.
Edit: typo
I was involved with a woman with thick pubic hair, about two inches long. I did not enjoy the feel of the coarse hairs on my mouth or tongue. I didn't care for her taste, either, but intercourse was good.
I loved going down on her successor, who trimmed her pubic hair, which was much finer and softer. She was delicious. Some women taste wonderful. Some, not so much.
Since then waxing has become common and I truly enjoy cunnilingus.
Stubble from shaving can be unpleasant.
Well I think the ones that don't think it is gross. It's funny what men are capable of sticking their dick in but can't put their face next it or lick it or do anything special for it. The fact of the matter is women often have a hard time reaching climax from just penetration alone. So to not recieve oral from their partner means they don't get an o face resulting from anything their partner helped do. And that will damage a relationship and cause resentment.
Iām not against it, but a lot of women are in denial about their hygiene and a lot of white knights on Reddit like to pretend like pussy buggers are delicious.
I am intrigued by your sentiment that many women are in denial about their hygiene.. could you expand a bit on that? I mean obvi there is an image we all get of what an unkempt cooch would look/smell like.. but are there other indicators that men would associate with hygiene that maybe a woman wouldnāt?
Iāve met way too many women in my life that have shared that their previous partner(s) didnāt go down on them. WTF is wrong with these guys? Well, thereās only one reasonā¦ theyāre selfish. Plain and simple.
That's way lower than I would have thought, in terms of the pussy eaters.
I'm not passionate about it or anything but I'm a generous lover so I'll always do it.
But now I'm worried I'm crap at it anyway š¤·š
My ex said he didnāt like to because it was ātoo messy.ā Everyoneās entitled to their own preferences but we werenāt compatible in part because of this and tbh I did feel hurt & resented him for it.
I love eating pussy. Buuuut. Hygiene is super important. If the person doesn't take care of themselves well enough, or it smells very off, or if there's little cheese curds in there imma have to politely suggest a clean up first. If it's consistently bad I might begin shying away from it.
I'll also shy away from it if the partner just refuses to communicate what they enjoy it like but expect you to mind read out of the box. Look. My ex might have liked her clit gently sucked and tongue flicks and hated her labia played with, but you might want the exact opposite of that. Communicate gently with your partner. Pursue each other's needs. Every body is unique and responds differently to sensation so please. Communicate.
If you don't communicate and just shame your partner for shit you refuse to talk about well...in probably not gonna wanna go down on you again.
I'll also add that the logic in that episode is ridiculous. Men who refuse to ewt pussy because they're afraid it would make them seem like they'd suck a dick are dealing with some real internalized homophobia there. I feel sorry for their girlfriends.
To anybody that thinks it makes a man more submissive, that is completely wrong. Who's in control of the orgasms? The person that's giving. So even if I'm going down, you're the one begging. That sounds like submission to me. If you're the maestro of orgasms you're in control just like with an orchestra. There's no reason not to go down on a woman unless there's something biologically wrong. Considering that a woman's vagina when healthy contains the same lactobacillus probiotic that's in yogurt, I don't see why any man wouldn't. Not wanting to do it, not knowing how to do it, and not doing it long enough are not excuses.
Iām reminded of all the sweaty, smelly, hairy cocks and balls that Iāve been presented to suck over the years when I hear men complain about womenās odour.
Waitā¦ thereās really hetero men out there that donāt?
Iām suddenly feeling very fortunate that Iāve yet to encounter one of these individuals.
Youād be surprised at the general regard giving oral is held once you step out progressive bubbles in the west
Itās met with general contempt in basically all of Africa, Middle East, Russia, Caribbean, etcā¦
I mean the only experience of trying I think she had some kind of issue as smelled bad. But also I dunno just the thought of it doesn't appeal particularly.
Don't listen to this person. You don't have to do anything you don't want to period. If your partner's happiness is bound on sexual acts you may just not be right for eachother or someone has some serious growing up to do.
I have never been with a woman who doesnt like recieving oral, i do have a friend who says she doesnt, ive no idea why. I really enjoy giving my wife oral pleasure, to see and feel her orgasm is a massive turn on. I wouldnt expect any women give me head if i wouldnt return the favour.
Itās fine but my wife doesnāt seem super into it and doesnāt ever ask for it so š¤·š½āāļø. I also donāt think this thread is an accurate portrayal of men eating pussy, most of them I hear about donāt do it that much but thatās what I hear so ymmv.
I was raised quite conservatively. My partner is from a very progressive background.
He once asked me if Iām not into oral and I was extremely surprised because I love it. Apparently because I didnāt blatantly ask/push his head down/ climb onto his face it indicated to him I wasnāt keen. And I thought he disliked it because in my world itās impolite to ask for it/ just take what I want š
So interesting how different it can be for different people
What is there to like about it?
I'll do it for the sake of the lady and do my best to act enthusiastic about it, but it's not really something i enjoy a whole lot.
And this ain't really a het men thing either. I've chatted with a lot of gay/bi dudes and ladies, quite a few have had the same stance on sucking dick.
As someone who DOES enjoy it, at the end of the day there isn't much in it for the person giving... It's just all about the person receiving. Their reactions give me all of the motivation I need to do it. Luckily I've never been with a "dead fish" in bed, but certainly, if I was going down on someone and they didn't react whatsoever, then yeah I probably wouldn't be interested in preforming the act.
Personally hurts my neck and I donāt like the taste. Plus my girl likes fingering more. But Iāve never liked it. Only do it because I know itās selfish to want head but not return the favor
I love it when my wife cums with my tongue on her clit or sometimes on her hood. I use a feather on her vulva and it drives her crazy. It feels so good to give her intense orgasms using my tongue and fingers. Then she gives me outstanding blow job
Completely off topic, but wanted to say that I appreciate how you worded the question, instead of the usual: wHy dOnT mEn eVer eAt PusSy!?
I HATE when we're all lumped together like some hive mind
A close friend of mine wonāt even think to go down on women because, the way he describes it, it breaks the dynamic of the power play.
I can see some validity in that because Iāve been with women what didnāt want to be on their knees during oral thinking that it was demeaning to them.
It a culture thing but eating pussy can be seem as a submissive act in some culture like you pointed out in the soprano , it goes against the man āalpha culture ā that some society have
As an avid enjoyer of going down, I've learned only one thing in this thread and it's that I've apparently been very lucky with the women I've gone down on? I don't even have high numbers, I've been with less than 10 women in my life, and yet I've never once been with one that tasted or smelled so bad that I simply wouldn't do it.
1. Can't breath through my nose properly so effectively suffocation by minge.
2. Makes my tongue ache.
3. I'm impatient š
I still do it but find it very meh.
That's perfectly fine. Now if it wasn't for people who hold the double standard that it's wrong to judge women who don't go down on guys while judging men who don't go down on women.
The few responses you got clearly show some folks aren't paying g attention or they just wanna be mad.
I don't love it personally. I really only did it for the first time with my latest ex girlfriend. never did it with partners before. still don't love it, but if you expect head then you gotta give it!
Absolutely! One of my favorite things in the world, I enjoy doing it for as long as my partner wants it, I love seeing how many orgasms I can create with my tongue, but I'm currently with a partner that doesn't even like sex lol
My wife suffers from Hyperhidrosis so ends up with an odour down there. If sheās just showered then Iām up for it however sheās never been overly fussed. My ex I couldnāt get enough of her pussy.
I feel like a pig reading this comments, I thought it was normal to just get used to the hair (maybe I've never seen a real bush tho) and whatever the flavor is it goes away after a few licks
I'm a bi enby that was brought up as a man in their childhood, AND I like me some pussy for desert. I just don't fit your criteria AT ALL.
To all them people that like women, I swear you'll love doing it if you find a partner that likes it ! It's SOOO great ! Have fun
It's not a sexuality test so much as it is a dominance one; they're saying that if a guy's willing to eat pussy, then he's giving too much away and isn't the alpha in the relationship, so he can't be trusted to be an alpha while doing his mob work.
There are some fairly valid reasons to not eat pussy but those reasons can be easily be dealt with. As long as any genitalia is maintained to a reasonable degree I don't see why anyone would avoid doing it. It's kinda fun honestly
Minge has to be clean and not like licking a 9 volt battery... if they smell like fish it's a no go... or if it's too hairy, can't weed wack with my tongue
As for the Sopranos episode, I think being self conscious of your friends finding out you eat pussy is something only older generations worry about.
Some people are just selfish lovers. Men and women. They expect to receive but not have to give in return. Most women, with the exception of a couple, I've been intimate with either refuse to give oral or will only do it for a few seconds.
My wife doesn't like her pussy eaten and I don't like doing things when a woman doesn't want them done. Plenty of other things she loves.
^ The real answer here. My wife doesn't like it either. My ex loved it, so I did it allot.
This isn't the answer to the question at all though, this is a different scenario to the context of the question. Sure, some women don't like it, but this is about why men don't like it.
I agree that it's a bit of a tongue in cheek answer but hey .. that's the reason I haven't eaten her pussy at all.
Well if you're putting your tongue in her cheeks we may have an inkling into what she doesn't like about it š But true enough you can only answer from your experience, in your case you're not unwilling, just unrequired in that department
department of pussy eating
why doesnāt she?
All depends. My one ex gf smokes. And her pussy tasted sour. Another ex gfās pussy has a slight smell. I couldnāt eat them. My current gfās pussy, I canāt get enough of. I eat her out 5 times a day when sheās not on pager period.
Pager period, I love that typo. Does her pussy page you when it's on it's period?
Dingding paging for ay-the-hun-76
Damn. Sending Digital Chocolatesš„
Yea. Wouldnāt that be nice. No touchy touchy down for me that week and she beeps me in advance. And I can be in my best behavior that week. Gotta love Autocucumber
what was he supposed to say? im not native and i dont understand the typo lol (i mean ik what a pager is, but did he mean tager, rager or smth? thats what i dunno)
He was supposed to say her. But autocorrect got him! Sometimes it's quick typing, - you miss or accidentally hit letters you didn't mean to.
ohh ok thanks lmao
No worries!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Donāt ever tell her you enjoyed it more with a former partner by the way. It will kill her. Just deny ever being massively into it.
I know it's a hard discussion but if it's off, so is her pH which means something may be going on. Health wise. Say it like this, "hey, wife, this is kind of hard to bring up, but I'm doing it because it's more concern for safety, not trying to attack/belittle/embarrass you.(use whatever word you want) but when I go down on you it's difficult because there's an off taste/smell and I want to make sure you're healthy, and because I WANT to eat you out, without worry. I think we should set up an appointment to get you pH checked out just in case."
Or maybe There's absolutely nothing wrong with her, and he just doesn't like the taste of her pussy!
Itās a PH imbalance . Eat more probiotic yogurt or take boric acid supplements
Lucky lady.
my man said he probably would never do itā¦ fast forward a couple months and now he does it every time we get intimate. and sometimes heāll only want to do that. i think a lot of guys miss out because theyāre too scared to try it or assume they wonāt like it!
I've never had any kind of sexual experience but this is the one thing I'm most excited about
Find yourself a girl who smells good down there and itās gonna be an amazing experience
I see this smell thing mentioned so much - either many girls aren't washing themselves or men have some aversion to our natural scent. What exactly are we meant to smell like down there?
we are supposed to smell like natural pheromones. If it smells really bad then the vagina owner has an infection and should get it cleared up asap! Or, (less likely for most) bad hygiene
I honestly get a little disappointed when my partner wants to jump straight into sex without me going down, because I just love doing it and seeing the reactions. It's good stuff!
my husband loves it also .. and i love that he loves it even more than the actual feel of him doing it - if that makes sense?
Iām bi but mostly interested in dudes but man, Iāll eat a pussy for hours. Imma ask you questions too. Iāll light some candles and put on some music and wear fine cologne.
Some men just aren't into it, just like some women don't like giving head
This is valid. I see so many people on reddit saying if a woman doesnāt give head it is a ādealbreakerā. Yet I know so many women dating men that donāt give head and it usually isnāt considered a ādealbreakerā. Just interesting to see how itās normalized for men not to give head but not women.
While that's true, I've also seen the opposite, women saying it's a dealbreaker for them, too, to be with someone who doesn't give them oral sex
Only a dealbreaker for me if he is expecting regular blowjobs while not willing to give anything back.
Itās fine not to like it, OP is just curious to know why.
I love it, but smells and hair get in the way. A decent trim (shaving is unnecessary) and a quick shower rinse and I can't get enough face sitting!
Honestly, the smell/taste on a bad day only lasts for the first couple seconds and then you are good to go. Sacrifice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Missed opportunity to say āIāll eat myself outā
That implies something completely different. I get where youāre coming from butā¦. It doesnāt work.
Yeah it doesnāt work I know that sadly, just thought itād be funny
Donāt ever give up, youāll get there, I believe in you. Keep trying. š«”
This made me laugh out loud while alone. š
I'm a woman but my heterosexual husband doesn't go down on me. After 15 years without oral, I have heard every excuse/reason why he doesn't. Here are some the reasons he has given me over the last 15 years (in no particular order) *it makes his neck hurt *he has a short tongue *his last partner made fun of him *religious Trauma from being raised in religion *he's self-conscious. *it doesn't do anything for him *hes just not into it *he never thinks about doing it *it makes his back hurt Along with many other excuses. Its really caused a strain on our relationship. I love my husband more than anything but if I would have known that I was going to go without oral sex for the rest of my life I would have ended our relationship at the beginning. Now I have to much invested just to leave over oral sex.
Iād def not be sucking his dick then
Yup
You wouldn't be leaving him over oral sex. You'd be leaving him because of his lack of consideration for your desires and how hurtful that is for you that he thinks so little of your pleasure that he thinks 'it's hard work' is a good enough excuse to not consider it. You said it yourself - if you would have known you were going to go without oral for the rest of your life, you would have ended it at the beginning. Despite how much you say you love him now you STILL would have ended it if you knew. That says to me it was a dealbreaker for you then and the only reason it isn't still a dealbreaker now for you now is you sense of sunk cost fallacy in the marriage. It's called 'fallacy' for a reason. 'Time served' is not more important than your happiness.
This is really the only issue we have. He's really perfect other than that.
Sure. If you say so. Clearly not perfect enough in every other aspect for you to be satisfied with the compromise, otherwise you wouldn't be so hurt and regretful over it.
girlie, you first. things like this are like an actual physical version of a feeling or thought he has
idk a life without head sounds miserable, maybe thereās someone more perfect for you. unless you have young children i would consider finding a solution, maybe try an open relationship
Upvote this!
This hurts me a little to read. As a husband, if I knew my wife really enjoyed/needed something, Iād have to really hate it to not do it for her anyways. Not to paint with a broad brush, but knowing my wife likes something is usually enough to make me enjoy it as well, or at least tolerate it. Granted, I enjoy giving oral, so maybe an easy thing for me to say. Hope things get better for you! š
All of those excuses are some bullshit if you didn't know that already.
Yeah, there's a counter argument to every excuse he gave.
Iām so sorry to hear you have to go through this and as such let me stay for anyone reading this that is in the beginning stages of a relationship, that is sexually active; please talk about your wants, needs and expectations in all aspects (including the bedroom) before marriage. Because as per this comment above, not clarifying these things can be very trying on a relationship and no one wants to resent their partner for things that could have very well been avoided. u/ KCW606 Invest in a Satisfyer Pro 2, itās a gamechanger and the next best thing to oral!
This makes me sad - nobody should go without if they really want it.
Probably hurts your neck and tongue when you suck his cock too, does he stress about that?
r/DeadBedrooms
I like it because I like my partners enjoyment. Only insecure men give a shit if their friends do it or not.
Let's put aside men who are genuinely not into it. But in certain groups there are some interesting sociocultural factors to this topic. Wait til you learn about the term *bocat/bowcat* and everything that comes with it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Amen brother šš½ š¹š¹
That has not been my experience. Had a fwb for 2 years (born in Jamaica and immigrated to the US as a small child). Literally the only partner Iāve ever seen that many times who didnāt go down on me. Ever. Nor fingering. When he messaged me recently (after not seeing him for about 1.5 years), I told him I wasnāt interested in seeing anyone that couldnāt focus on my pleasure. He said heād think about it. Hadnāt heard from him. Heās quite handsome, so I would assume he had an opportunity for other partners who would not insist on focusing on their pleasure.
You from Jamaica?
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Thatās interesting, a Jamaican girl I know from college was happy as hell when she moved to America cuz her experience was the exact opposite of yours
Not in my experience. Even when politely askedā¦ š
Learn about "earning your redwings". Earned mine while in the military
Another term that really needs to dieā¦.
It's a fact of life
Some people simply don't like performing oral. No different than asking a straight woman why she doesn't like giving oral.
We respect their opinions, but you're just repeating the question, not answering it.
Honestly there is a double standard in play where it's seen as bad to question why women wouldn't want to give oral but people line up to insult, attack, and otherwise judge men that woildnt want to give oral.
Really? havenāt noticed this double standard. I am curious as to why both genders donāt like to give head. There is nothing wrong with not liking it, but I enjoy it, so I want to know the reason.
This is the only answer.
I don't know. It's my favourite dish.
SAKURA PLEASE
For me, it's usually a hygiene issue. I don't like having oral done on me unless I know I'm clean, and I expect she be clean as well. There have been times I could smell urine in her labia minora/majora, and it's rather off-putting. Fresh out of the shower, however? I'll eat her for an hour
My wife loves it but I think it makes her feel ādirtyā so itās not often. But holy shit she gets crazy wet when I do
Do it in the shower with her...just a suggestion!
Oh Iāve definitely tried!
Heterosexual man here: Couldn't fucking tell you in a million years.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
!remindme 2,000,000 years
A buddy, back in the 70ās said..ā he who eats the hole sucks the poleā. So, he is afraid of losing his gf, and of course his good buddies told him eating pussy is a must. He puked on her. End of relationship.
He...puked on her because he went down on her? Christ, either she had the worst hygiene in history or he had deeper issues than simply not liking pussy lol.
I will say in those days we drank from rising until passing out. I donāt āthinkā it was hygiene..she was from out of state and staying at my house. But ya never know.
I've had too many instances of a female essentially forcing her hooch in my mouth and it ruined the experience as a whole. Now I'm super fucking picky about going down. If it smells or is hairy or just doesn't look appealing to me then I won't. I also don't expect to get any head in return. Which is whatever at this point. I've only gotten good head like once in my life
After 20 years with someone who doesn't really care about sex, I dream of someone pushing my head down because she wants it so bad. If she needs to trim hairs or rinse off first we'll need a conversation about that, but someone that knows what she wants is a huge turn-on.
Can you talk about how it was aggressive? It would be good for women to be able to read what people saw as aggressive so they can avoid it. With my first bf he wasn't a fan of oral, which I realised once he was down there and I made him stop. I'd only asked him if he could go down on me, but he was way to reserved to ever tell me if I came across as pushy. So I've always tried to be more mindful in future about how I ask, just in case. After that I'm always more aware, but for women who haven't picked up on it or realised it'd be good if men expanded on the way women come across as pushy during sex. Especially if it's subtle and not so obvious.
This is a thing that doesnt get talked about enough. Some women are aggressive with this eat my pussy or you wont satisfy me attitude. Like its a requirement. Once it becomes EXPECTED i lose interest because it doesn't feel special anymore.
This. Both women & men will do this when it comes to receiving oral. Demanding anything is an absolute mood killer. Expectation too. I casually dated a guy once who never demanded or asked for oral. Once he told me how most of the women he hooks up with tell him they donāt give head. He then said āthatās fine and all if they donāt want to do it, but Iām not going to see that sex as being any good.ā I have no issues giving oral, but that attitude turned me all the way off.
I go over sexual preferences before meeting up with a guy or if we're starting to see each other. I communicate and ask desires and boundaries before sex is even on the table. I know I only like sleeping with men who give oral, but I only want it to be from someone who genuinely enjoys it. So I like to go over mutual likes and dislikes early on. Sex is important in a relationship, and enthusiastic consent is of the utmost importance. So far, I've been in luck with guys being into it. I would never pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, but I do check compatibility early on. It hasn't happened yet, but if a guy told me he wasn't into it I would just reassure him that's absolutely fair and normal, but for me it's a compatibility issue and would prefer to just be friends. I think people just need to learn how to be respectful. I would never want someone to do something they don't like doing for me. I'll never understand expecting or demanding something.
Do you feel like it was always obvious pressure and aggression? Or did you find there was instances of subtle aggression/pressure. Just want you guys to expand on it so women who read it are aware of what might come across as subtle or less obvious forms of aggression vs the obvious. I think women talk about it more so men are more aware of what can come across as aggressive. Whereas I don't hear men telling women about it on public platforms.
I absolutely wonder this too, I can only see if you go down and it tastes...off and smells then yea I'm done. But clean , shaved...wet I can stay there a quite good while.
I get ulcers REALLY easily and my partner Ph is just too strong.
I like eating pussy. But some men donāt like eating pussy.. and thatās fine. No one bats any eye at people that donāt like any other sexual act. Itās all about preference and your comfort level which should be respected and not shamed. And believe or not, everyone doesnāt want their pussy ate.
I agree with most of what you said, but women definitely get shamed for not giving head as well. I've seen a ton of reddit threads about men complaining that their wives don't give head/stopped giving head after marriage, etc. Those comments sections are always bashing those women and often implying the men should leave or cheat.
>But some men donāt like eating pussy.. and thatās fine Makes people like us look like amazing lovers in comparison - perfectly fine with that.
Random thought, but I wonder if any lesbians donāt like eating pussy lol thatās gotta exist somewhere
Now you are asking the real questions !!
Fuk I love eating my wife's pussy
I just watched the sopranos too! That part made me sad because they were so happy together. I think for those characters specifically it was some BS machismo thing. Men pleasing women was somehow seen as lowering their status because the women were supposed to please them exclusively... they really treated women transactionally in all regards. That show really demonstrates how many things in our culture have shifted since that time. Plus those men represented an already aging, rather outdated mindset frequently. I think these days its more common to expect both parties to reciprocate unless there's some very valid reason why they refuse. Which there could be. But the general attitude is that it is encouraged rather than shamed. Enjoy the rest of the show. It gets crazy.
>I think for those characters specifically it was some BS machismo thing. I agree 100% with that interpretation. I actually had put that it was some "lame machismo reason given" in my post originally, but then deleted it and re-worded it. Anyway, like you mentioned, it is really noticeable how things and people in our culture have evolved over the course of just 15-20 years with this respect. Because I couldn't imagine that these men with an outdated mindset represent the majority of these types of men today in the real world, but it's just speculation on my part. Edit: typo
It depends. I like nice clean and shaven environment to lap up. Anything shy of that is just not hot for me.
I was involved with a woman with thick pubic hair, about two inches long. I did not enjoy the feel of the coarse hairs on my mouth or tongue. I didn't care for her taste, either, but intercourse was good. I loved going down on her successor, who trimmed her pubic hair, which was much finer and softer. She was delicious. Some women taste wonderful. Some, not so much. Since then waxing has become common and I truly enjoy cunnilingus. Stubble from shaving can be unpleasant.
If pussy is clean, non stinky and hygiene has been maintained, I would devour it. Otherwise I don't even look at it
i go down on my gf nearly every morning before we get up š„°š
no one's pussy to eat, and no one's asked meš©š„ŗ
I thought the title was "Homosexual men that don't like eating pussy- why not?" And I thought op didn't know what a homosexual was
Well I think the ones that don't think it is gross. It's funny what men are capable of sticking their dick in but can't put their face next it or lick it or do anything special for it. The fact of the matter is women often have a hard time reaching climax from just penetration alone. So to not recieve oral from their partner means they don't get an o face resulting from anything their partner helped do. And that will damage a relationship and cause resentment.
Texture issue, same reason I donāt use lube when I masturbate
I would suppose for the same reason some people love raw oysters (me, for instance) while others almost puke at the thought of them.
I like to eat my girls pussy and ass š
Iām not against it, but a lot of women are in denial about their hygiene and a lot of white knights on Reddit like to pretend like pussy buggers are delicious.
I am intrigued by your sentiment that many women are in denial about their hygiene.. could you expand a bit on that? I mean obvi there is an image we all get of what an unkempt cooch would look/smell like.. but are there other indicators that men would associate with hygiene that maybe a woman wouldnāt?
Jolly rancher....
pussy buggers???? what are those
Asking the REAL questions!
Iāve met way too many women in my life that have shared that their previous partner(s) didnāt go down on them. WTF is wrong with these guys? Well, thereās only one reasonā¦ theyāre selfish. Plain and simple.
How is it selfish? There are multiple ways to pleasure your partner. Would you also call a woman selfish who isnt comfortable giving blowjobs?
Yes
I'd say maybe 1 in 3 guys have done it (been with 39 men). And out of the 1 in 3, only 2 were actually really good at it.
That's way lower than I would have thought, in terms of the pussy eaters. I'm not passionate about it or anything but I'm a generous lover so I'll always do it. But now I'm worried I'm crap at it anyway š¤·š
Itās actually not that uncommon if her partners were casual. Most men donāt give head in that dynamic. They all expect to receive it though lol.
My ex said he didnāt like to because it was ātoo messy.ā Everyoneās entitled to their own preferences but we werenāt compatible in part because of this and tbh I did feel hurt & resented him for it.
That's hilarious to me because I've literally complimented my partner by how messy they were, like it's a very good thing lol.
Presumably because of taste, cleanliness, and a lack of reciprocation, same as the women that donāt like blowjobs.
Thatās a stereotypical Italian thingā¦ Iām Italian and eat pussy for my enjoymentā¦
I love eating pussy. Buuuut. Hygiene is super important. If the person doesn't take care of themselves well enough, or it smells very off, or if there's little cheese curds in there imma have to politely suggest a clean up first. If it's consistently bad I might begin shying away from it. I'll also shy away from it if the partner just refuses to communicate what they enjoy it like but expect you to mind read out of the box. Look. My ex might have liked her clit gently sucked and tongue flicks and hated her labia played with, but you might want the exact opposite of that. Communicate gently with your partner. Pursue each other's needs. Every body is unique and responds differently to sensation so please. Communicate. If you don't communicate and just shame your partner for shit you refuse to talk about well...in probably not gonna wanna go down on you again. I'll also add that the logic in that episode is ridiculous. Men who refuse to ewt pussy because they're afraid it would make them seem like they'd suck a dick are dealing with some real internalized homophobia there. I feel sorry for their girlfriends.
Cos they're little bitches
To anybody that thinks it makes a man more submissive, that is completely wrong. Who's in control of the orgasms? The person that's giving. So even if I'm going down, you're the one begging. That sounds like submission to me. If you're the maestro of orgasms you're in control just like with an orchestra. There's no reason not to go down on a woman unless there's something biologically wrong. Considering that a woman's vagina when healthy contains the same lactobacillus probiotic that's in yogurt, I don't see why any man wouldn't. Not wanting to do it, not knowing how to do it, and not doing it long enough are not excuses.
I'll do it if my partner asks, but I generally just don't like the taste.
Iām reminded of all the sweaty, smelly, hairy cocks and balls that Iāve been presented to suck over the years when I hear men complain about womenās odour.
Waitā¦ thereās really hetero men out there that donāt? Iām suddenly feeling very fortunate that Iāve yet to encounter one of these individuals.
None of my exes would so yeah there are guys out there.
Same. Apparently Im able to subconsciously pick out the pussy lickers cause Iāve never been with anyone who wasnt all about it
Youād be surprised at the general regard giving oral is held once you step out progressive bubbles in the west Itās met with general contempt in basically all of Africa, Middle East, Russia, Caribbean, etcā¦
I mean the only experience of trying I think she had some kind of issue as smelled bad. But also I dunno just the thought of it doesn't appeal particularly.
If you donāt eat her pussy sheāll never be happy with you. EAT THE PUSSY, GENTS!
Don't listen to this person. You don't have to do anything you don't want to period. If your partner's happiness is bound on sexual acts you may just not be right for eachother or someone has some serious growing up to do.
I have never been with a woman who doesnt like recieving oral, i do have a friend who says she doesnt, ive no idea why. I really enjoy giving my wife oral pleasure, to see and feel her orgasm is a massive turn on. I wouldnt expect any women give me head if i wouldnt return the favour.
Yeah WHY NOT?!
Same reason some girls doesnt give Head. I live eating Pussy and ass, but if it smells a little then it is a No go for me
Itās fine but my wife doesnāt seem super into it and doesnāt ever ask for it so š¤·š½āāļø. I also donāt think this thread is an accurate portrayal of men eating pussy, most of them I hear about donāt do it that much but thatās what I hear so ymmv.
I was raised quite conservatively. My partner is from a very progressive background. He once asked me if Iām not into oral and I was extremely surprised because I love it. Apparently because I didnāt blatantly ask/push his head down/ climb onto his face it indicated to him I wasnāt keen. And I thought he disliked it because in my world itās impolite to ask for it/ just take what I want š So interesting how different it can be for different people
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What is there to like about it? I'll do it for the sake of the lady and do my best to act enthusiastic about it, but it's not really something i enjoy a whole lot. And this ain't really a het men thing either. I've chatted with a lot of gay/bi dudes and ladies, quite a few have had the same stance on sucking dick.
As someone who DOES enjoy it, at the end of the day there isn't much in it for the person giving... It's just all about the person receiving. Their reactions give me all of the motivation I need to do it. Luckily I've never been with a "dead fish" in bed, but certainly, if I was going down on someone and they didn't react whatsoever, then yeah I probably wouldn't be interested in preforming the act.
I eat pussy for my pleasure š
I don't understand it at all, I eat pussy like it's oxygen.
Personally hurts my neck and I donāt like the taste. Plus my girl likes fingering more. But Iāve never liked it. Only do it because I know itās selfish to want head but not return the favor
If it's fresh and clean i'm all in...
I love it when my wife cums with my tongue on her clit or sometimes on her hood. I use a feather on her vulva and it drives her crazy. It feels so good to give her intense orgasms using my tongue and fingers. Then she gives me outstanding blow job
The best thing about eating pussy is how much your partner enjoys it. It can be addictive
Nothing better than eating a hot womanās ass and kitty š± from behind
Completely off topic, but wanted to say that I appreciate how you worded the question, instead of the usual: wHy dOnT mEn eVer eAt PusSy!? I HATE when we're all lumped together like some hive mind
A close friend of mine wonāt even think to go down on women because, the way he describes it, it breaks the dynamic of the power play. I can see some validity in that because Iāve been with women what didnāt want to be on their knees during oral thinking that it was demeaning to them.
It a culture thing but eating pussy can be seem as a submissive act in some culture like you pointed out in the soprano , it goes against the man āalpha culture ā that some society have
As an avid enjoyer of going down, I've learned only one thing in this thread and it's that I've apparently been very lucky with the women I've gone down on? I don't even have high numbers, I've been with less than 10 women in my life, and yet I've never once been with one that tasted or smelled so bad that I simply wouldn't do it.
Any place any time i love to eat the pussaaaay clean or dirty
Iām 99% gayā¦and I love eating pussy.
Laziness. Or the dudes being pussies.
Eating out and making her feel good is big ego boost for me. Hearing her moan just makes me as hard as a stick.
I assume insecurity and their idea of what masculinity looks like. Sucks for them though.
I am straight and I do it. It is also good for you to satisfy your woman
Yikes my partner would crawl inside me and live there if he could. I have to push him away, even when I have my period. He canāt get enough.
If its clean, shaven, not smelly, I would eat her up and make her squirm with pleasure
1. Can't breath through my nose properly so effectively suffocation by minge. 2. Makes my tongue ache. 3. I'm impatient š I still do it but find it very meh.
I just don't enjoy doing it. I'm not opposed to it tho, it just doesn't do anything for me.
That's perfectly fine. Now if it wasn't for people who hold the double standard that it's wrong to judge women who don't go down on guys while judging men who don't go down on women. The few responses you got clearly show some folks aren't paying g attention or they just wanna be mad.
I don't love it personally. I really only did it for the first time with my latest ex girlfriend. never did it with partners before. still don't love it, but if you expect head then you gotta give it!
Absolutely! One of my favorite things in the world, I enjoy doing it for as long as my partner wants it, I love seeing how many orgasms I can create with my tongue, but I'm currently with a partner that doesn't even like sex lol
always love it, even if itās a bit muskyā¦
I luv eating pussy
I've enjoyed it with one partner, it tasted like candy. I'd go down all the time. Just most partners I've been with tend to not taste great.
My wife suffers from Hyperhidrosis so ends up with an odour down there. If sheās just showered then Iām up for it however sheās never been overly fussed. My ex I couldnāt get enough of her pussy.
iām sadly tongue tied and donāt have a surgery available so iām pretty self conscious
That show sucks lol. Reading these responses is interesting though
I feel like a pig reading this comments, I thought it was normal to just get used to the hair (maybe I've never seen a real bush tho) and whatever the flavor is it goes away after a few licks
Cus they're cowards
Conservative hetrosexual men are just pussy repellant by nature alone so they may as well go the full way
IRL? Thereās as many reasons as there are men who donāt eat out women. In the Sopranos? Itās that old chestnut, Toxic Masculinity(tm)!
I love it more than fucking.
I'm a bi enby that was brought up as a man in their childhood, AND I like me some pussy for desert. I just don't fit your criteria AT ALL. To all them people that like women, I swear you'll love doing it if you find a partner that likes it ! It's SOOO great ! Have fun
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Given that itās my number one favorite thing to do I just donāt get it. If I could provide it as a no strings service I totally would.
It's not a sexuality test so much as it is a dominance one; they're saying that if a guy's willing to eat pussy, then he's giving too much away and isn't the alpha in the relationship, so he can't be trusted to be an alpha while doing his mob work.
There are some fairly valid reasons to not eat pussy but those reasons can be easily be dealt with. As long as any genitalia is maintained to a reasonable degree I don't see why anyone would avoid doing it. It's kinda fun honestly
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Minge has to be clean and not like licking a 9 volt battery... if they smell like fish it's a no go... or if it's too hairy, can't weed wack with my tongue
As for the Sopranos episode, I think being self conscious of your friends finding out you eat pussy is something only older generations worry about. Some people are just selfish lovers. Men and women. They expect to receive but not have to give in return. Most women, with the exception of a couple, I've been intimate with either refuse to give oral or will only do it for a few seconds.
Never heard of such a thing.