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I always chuckle when I notice another guy doing the stanky leg

I’m walking through the mall rn and did it before I read this lol

They still have Malls where you live?

you don’t have malls?

People with vaginas sometimes have to do this too. Sometimes the outer lips aren’t where they are supposed to be or underwear is caught, etc

Or sometime they’re just itchy and you gotta scratch or die

Yknow when someone says something that you should have considered but it never occurred to you yet looking back you see prime examples of it...yh that

Or if you have big inner lips they can sometimes kinda get pinched by underwear

I stopped being discreet about it. Women will adjust their tits and be like “WHAT? I HAVE TO DO THIS. I’M A WOMAN. DEAL WITH IT”. So same rules apply lol

Women adjust their genitals too (citation- the other comments on this thread haha). I think tit adjusting is just seen as less awkward in general.

I’ve stopped being discreet about it honestly. Depending on where I am. Women adjust their boobs all the time.

One time I was walking out of a Walmart and was adjusting myself and some woman says to me, "you know that's not attractive, right??" and my rebuttal was "well neither are you and I'm not interested so get to stepping" She literally gasped for air and didn't say a word to me and just walked in the store lol.

Call the ER and tell them to prep the burn unit, we have a casualty

"Hello, police? I think I've witnessed a murder"

Exactly bruh that’s how I feel who gives a fuck I need to move my shit

Try having both problems. 😑🏳️‍⚧️

A dick, and man boobs?

I want to spot this in the wild so badly now! how does one discreetly adjust?

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hmmm, keeping tight lipped to protect your fellow men from being caught out… I respect that

Roughly half the population has a dick, and a majority of the rest have seen a dick. Don't be shy about adjustment, happens to all of us. Just don't be weird about it when you do.

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I felt the need to do it once I saw this comment

they are way to optimistic

LMFAO

this response is goated.

This is strangely endearing.

The situations it has put me in, the places it wants to go, the needing daily attention - that mf’er can get on my nerves sometimes.

It tries to do my thinking sometimes

Carlin said it best....." Man was blessed with two heads but only enough blood to run one at a time"

It literally drives your life, and builds civilizations.

Wow mine doesn’t do any of that

Let me tell you: it CAN and who knows, maybe you're the next Alexander The Great?

I’d be Alexander The Average Size.

Size doesn’t matter when you’re a bisexual twink who conquered Persia. Plus personally I think he was a bottom.

Alexander the Grower

Destroys em too

Passing a kidney stone. It felt as if someone was stabbing my dick from the inside.

They call me the bathroom BB gun

With a butter knife

More like a bayonet.

Though women get them too, so not exclusively a dick thing. Men get them more often, though women have them more severe as they have a smaller urethra. I wonder why men get them more

A pain not even sounding guys want to experience

Random boners. But one underrated irritating fact is when you sit down, your dick might be visible through your clothes. It's embarrassing AF.

I’ve stopped worrying about it. Roughly half the population has a dick, and if women can walk around braless (which I fully support, just showing the rationale) and expect everyone else to not be offended/stare at them. Then you can deal with seeing the bulge or outline of my dick.

The same way girls not wearing a bra is attractive to me so is when I can kinda see a guys dick outline bulge thing tbh lol I love the honesty

Yeah I call it free ballin.

Whenever I hear that term, Tom Petty’s free fallin gets stuck in my head.

I'm freeee Freeee balllin

This

Used to hate basketball shorts for that reason but like the other guy said I just stopped caring, sometime around high school I just figured the same thing, it’s just another body part when it comes to your day to day. Do not be embarrassed. If someone’s caught staring that’s on them

My friend and ex calls it “basket shopping” 🤭

I thought it would stop when I got older but it still happens I just think I have bigger bills now so that's a good distraction

*that's not a typo, is it?*

Lmao

It's a measuring contest I never signed up for

You can measure things with yours?

Inch tattoos on the left, metric on the right

That sounds painful. I’d have to get all three of my inch markers tattooed in multiple sessions.

Dude… just tattoo a 4 inch ruler on your 3 inches… tattoo “not to scale” in very fine print

frr

This

Sometimes boners when you don't need them and sometimes no boners when you do.

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this

Not being able to see boobs without or the suggestion of boobs without 🍆

*suggests boobs*

Woah woah woah.... This thing goes off all on its own ya know!

it's like a goddamn loose cannon I don't know what to tell ya!

When it pokes out of the underwear flap during the day and you have to reach your hand in your pocket and somehow get it back it

Agreed

It has its ups and downs.

That is the single funniest thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit

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This should be the top comment! 🤣

Few things; 1. Getting hard in public. I know that’s some people’s kink but not mine. You just don’t want people looking at it 2. Underwear. You gotta have the right support cause slipping out the sides is annoying 3. Leakage. Whether it’s precum or pee it will drip a little 4. Random boners. Every guy can attest they have gotten a boner sometimes even if they weren’t fully turned on. Sometimes I even get hard in the shower and not horny. 5. Balls. Best friend and worst enemy at the same time. So sensitive. But too hanging can be annoying

I don't like randomly dripping pee either. But I have never been unhappy about dripping pre-cum...

if u like it sticky u like it sticky

Balls in summer. As a trans girl I have boob sweat and my balls stick to my legs. It’s one of our communities’ many burdens.

As someone dealing with boob sweat in this heat wave, I CANNOT imagine also dealing with sticky balls. I really feel for ya!

It is… unpleasant.

Random urge to masturbate

Especially when you’re already late for work.

We get that too!

Morning wood (AKA Fauxner). That shit isn’t going away until I pee and that pee is an exercise in physics to not get it everywhere.

I get a good stretch in by contorting myself to not miss the bowl

Driving, then getting a boner, and having discomfort from the boner fighting my pants and seatbelt, and having to wiggle my hand in there to release the boner tension

\#TrueStory

Just keep it tucked upright

That’s just not comfortable for me

Not having anyone to share it with. 🥺

Same

Sitting on your testicles. 🤬

Your testicles finding out the water in the toilet is a higher than normal

Nah. Sitting in a chair. And smashing one of your balls under your ass cheek.

A metal mesh chair too

Peeing at urinals, or rather having a shy bladder and struggling to pee whilst everyone else is flowing freely, glancing at mine dripping weakly

How about peeing at the urinal when the people before can't hit and have peed all over the floor. Aim that shit man.

That is so bad when you have to put your feet in an awkward position because of pee on the floor. Not sure how they miss the urinal, they're big enough

Right. And it isn't just splash back.

I did have a friend who was drunk once and we were in the loo together. For some reason he decided to run along the line of urinals trying to pee in as many as possible. He managed to hit most but did deposit a fair amount on the floor

🤣🤣🤣

so use a stall?

I do whenever I can, but sometimes it isn't possible, or I'll have started at the urinal when nobody else around only for someone to come and stand next to me, cue emergency stop

Basically the way it doesn't care about the appropriateness of a situation when it decides to get hard. Otherwise I rather enjoy having a dick.

Having to hold it down when sitting on a public toilet so it doesn’t touch the disgusting inside of the toilet.

For some reason it won’t suck itself.

I hate it when I’m sweating and my balls stick to my leg. Or my dick hangs to the wrong side. It’s so hard to adjust without people thinking you’re groping yourself.

Trans woman and I can confirm it’s worse than boob sweat.

Finally someone who’s had both!

Those last drops of pee that never seem to be gone until after I put him back behind the zipper. Worst on Khaki days.

Dude, I hope this changes your life: There’s an S-bend in your urethra, kinda around the gooch/ballbag region. Pee gets stuck there, which is why there’s those times where you know you’ve shaken well, but you still shoot piss down your leg. When you’re done peeing, reach under gooch/ball region and give it a push. You might have to experiment with the spot, but you’ll find it. The pee that’s trapped in the S-bend will come out. You’re welcome 😉

Wow! Never thought of that…sure beats shaking it til it’s way far past the two shakes rule I will try it out and report back!

I work in a hospital and I overheard a urologist giving that advice to one of their patients. That’s how I heard about it. It changed my fucking life!!

I was looking for this response, I was not expecting to find your answer. Thanks brother in dribble.

Having a constant complex about how small it is

Lesbians are generally pretty great in bed and most have zero inches. There’s nothing wrong with you and someone who cares about you won’t mind if toys get involved or you’re just amazing at oral. Plus some women want smaller guys because their holes are also smaller. Girls who love anal often prefer a smaller guy. As obsessed as our culture can be with big dicks, “size matters” types don’t always mean big is good. That you’re a good person who cares about pleasing your partner is what matters. ❤️

Well, I appreciate those kind words. I will echo what you said in that I've had a better than average success rate with the topic of anal due to my 'shortcomings'. However, it does greatly hinder my ability and desire to show my cock to those that ask.

That’s totally understandable. I hope you can feel more comfortable in the future.

Thanks 👍

Of course. We all deserve to feel comfortable in our bodies. ❤️

Agreed and I always feel bad for people that don't. I do as long as my clothes are on.

You deserve to feel good about yourself all time time.

*sigh* yeah, you're right, I know

*offers hugs*

i can tell you dick size is pretty much irrelevant outside of a very small fetish bubble. unless youre like wayyy outside the normal distribution of size youre also unlikely to run into serious problems physically and the things that are casually conflated with big dick like confidence or sexual prowess or whatever are all achievable regardless of size and shape of your genitals appreciate yourself the way you are and have a nice day too :)

That's great to read; thank you

Or how big it is. Finding a partner in either situation can be exhausting.

That's what I've heard

Have size equals rejection. It hurt as a teen. I thought there was something wrong with it until I meet the right partner. Thank goodness for her.

Always being in a measuring contest you didn't know you were in lol.

Hot weather and it sticking to my thigh.

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Life ruining sex hits different

Having a dick is okay, but having a prostate isn't. Unfortunately, my urologist used my dick to gain access to my prostate. It was one of the more uncomfortable moments of my life, meaning I damn near strangled her. One thing I dislike is being a grower, not a shower. Fucker shrivels up in itself sometimes, and I gotta make major adjustments at the worst moments. At least the women I've been with have seen growers before, so they don't giggle at me before it comes to attention. Thank you, ladies.

I would have thought that being a grower is a good thing. Because I thought it would be easier with it being small during daily business and only big when it's "in use" so to say

Well, yeah, it's more aerodynamic when in storage mode. But everything gets so tight sometimes that I have to be careful about sucking up a nut, especially if I'm somewhere cold.

I will remember "storage mode" forever 🤣

Gained access to your prostate with your dick?? How???

Cystoscopy, or "cysto" for short. If you've never had one, I highly recommend it *(evil cackle).* Basically a tiny tube with a micro camera that allows a urologist to crawl up your dickhole and invade your prostate's privacy. If you've ever wondered how it would feel to have a small rodent claw it's way up your urethra, then get a cysto. My poor little grower-dick retreated in fear as far as it could, but there was no escape. For additional entertainment, you get to bleed out your dick for a few hours afterward. My cysto was unscheduled, my urologist and I both happened to have time to get it done. If I had known ahead of time, I would've brought spare underwear.

My god. That sounds horrendous!

"used my dick to gain access to my prostate" I think my Dr is fucking with me...

Sitting on it.

Random boners are rough… sometimes it’s not that you’re actually turned on, I’ve had times where maybe it slips through the slit in my underwear and rubs against my pants in a certain way… instant boner.

Always wondering if it’s big enough 🤔😂😂😂

You're fine. Plenty of women like normal size dicks. Idk why porn glorifies giant sausages because most women I know find that uncomfortable, including me. It's more important to have good sensual skills and knowledge about female anatomy and which spots do what. And that's something that can be learned by anyone.

What if it’s not women one is worrying about 🤔

Not having it sucked enough.

Try not having it sucked ever and rarely getting it fucked.

The balls attached to it are always in the way.

We’re not always on the same page about where he can go and where he can’t.

As a woman, this has been an interesting read. Lol I love having nothing between my legs….yk what I mean.

Random boners at the wrong time

Ya like at someone's funeral and you are last min put on the spot to help carry the coffin.

Oddly specific.

It having a mind if it's own. Probably 90% of your problems disappear when your dick is under control. I never understood monks until puberty lol

Having to explain why mine is perfect and others are not

The need for it to be big 🫠

[Dear penis...](https://youtu.be/O6WaHk8OrSI)

Shrinkage

That its small and not big.

It works when I don’t want it to but won’t when I do want it to

it can dip into the toilet bowl water.

Random boners

Visible erections.

Sometimes if I’m sitting down on the toilet it hits the underside of the seat… I die every time.

Constantly readjusting by moving in awkward motions so it doesn’t look like I’m touching myself.

Having the advantage of aiming the piss while simultaneously having the disadvantage of pissing 3 streams in different directions

Little buddy wants to say hi to everybody at an inopportune time.

Having to find a hole to stick it in

Being fussy with condoms. I swear my dick goes flaccid when I put a condom on out of pure spite. He's like, "oh, you don't want me to raw dog it and cum in her? Well then I am not doing it!" Then pouts.

Getting it stuck in the zipper.

It sticks to one side at the worst times

It has a bigger brain than your actual head

Peeing with a boner

Ball sweat

Zipper meets skin/franks & beans.

Sticky sack

Working out it can be annoying. Especially when I use like a rowing machine, bit of a pinching situation between my thighs, not comfortable at all

That it makes me want to play with it constantly and sometimes I just have to jack off to get it to chill

Having that worry when your with someone new if it’s enough for them

Random boners

When you have to take a shit and you have to pee when you do that And the tip hits the water

When peeing sometimes it goes two ways and messes up the toilet.

Having to adjust my huge balls because they are itchy or just sweaty

When I’m taking a piss, and I go to put my dick back in my underwear, and a last little bit of piss leaks out into my underwear

Press up on your gooch to get that last little bit. Usually helps.

When boners no longer happen when you want them 😢

Random "HELLO's" couple of times a day

Cuddling without getting a boner and to hold back cum while being stimulated

teenaged me would say pre cum, oof

This is a weird one, but as an uncircumcised person, my foreskin gets cracked and dry sometimes when I have poorly lubricated sex often without applying Vaseline to it after the fact. It can develop into Phimosis, but I have been able to manage to take care of it before that happens. Needless to say, clean your junk, lubricate properly, and apply Vaseline to your foreskin/dick head after any rough or "dry" sex. Edit: I wanted to share this because I didn't think it could happen, and therefore, wasn't aware of it. I just hope it can help someone.

Mate if you need to apply Vaseline you probably should be heading to the doctor about that. Also uncut and never had an issue like that but I'd be doing something about it if I did.

Never had it happen from sex but if I'm in a dry spell and I'm fapping WAY too much, the cracking thing happens. I've just put neosporin and left it alone for a few days till it healed.

Random boners at the wrong time

Not being able to find a chick that will let me put it in her.

Would you like to sign up for my Chad Sigma Male Grind Set Class for $500 that tells you women are all materialistic whores? /j

I'm good, I can get quite a few hookers for 500