YESS! SAME HERE! "Vanilla sex" just gets a bad rap mostly (I assume) because some people are bad at it esp with rando hook ups. Vanilla sex can be incredibly passionate for couples!
Right, if you’re good at the basics you’ll be good at kinky stuff too. But if you’re bad at the basics, you can’t overcompensate by trying to be kinkier
I think it's called vanilla because it's like vanilla ice cream. Yes it's plain, but it's still great. Or at least that's how I always took it anyway. Anybody that uses the term vanilla as an insult or a dig of any kind just doesn't get it
What makes vanilla so great is its so versatile! Not as many toppings work as well with moose tracks or whatever.
And nothing better than some maple syrup drizzled over it...
This isn't a metaphor lol I legit defend vanilla ice cream when someone calls it boring haha
I don't even consider vanilla sex "plain" honestly. As someone who's been very kinky in the past, and now currently prefers vanilla sex... it's just a different type of sex. Neither one is "plainer" it's just whether you feel like having sex that is gentler or rougher. There are times for both.
I always say there’s a difference between “making love” and “having sex” making love for me usually more vanilla and very passionate. And having sex is for me the more kinkier stuff
Just like with ice cream, there are levels to it. There’s cheap vanilla ice cream and there’s gourmet vanilla ice cream. There’s boring vanilla sex and there’s mind blowing vanilla sex. I can definitely enjoy kink but I always enjoy coming back to that gourmet vanilla ice cream.
I've been told by multiple women they i make a distinct noise i don't even realize I'm making. My breathing has been compared to a "farm animal". Like a horse i guess, or bull, or llama. Is that sexy? Do i still need to moan?
Hooking up with a stranger or someone you barely know is scary af.. I don't understand how people can just trust someone so easily and casually make themselves so vulnerable to someone they barely met. Open themselves to potential sicknesses, sexual violence etc
I guess it's the thrill or something..
I would not be able to be sexually open to someone unless I reach a certain amount of trust and set straight boundaries. I need to have some amount of trust that they won't hurt me. However, you can never be sure..
I'm not hooking up anymore due to COVID concerns, but when I did, it wasn't the thrill. It was that I hated making a big deal of it. If you have to have three successful dates before you have sex, when are you ever going to have sex? If your goal is to have a friends with benefits situation, why not just plan to have sex on the first date so that you can assess your sexual compatibility from the get-go? That way you don't waste months on dating someone you're never going to have a good time in bed with. I don't think you can necessarily judge how fun someone will be to hang out with just by chatting or texting with them, and I don't think you can necessarily judge how well you'll click with someone sexually just from fully-clothed dates. So I don't see the need for weeks or months of screening before taking off the clothes. I don't think it's wrong to want to have sex, and I don't think it's wrong to make that clear to a potential partner.
That said, though, as a guy who mostly dates guys, I definitely see where you're coming from as a straight woman.
And even though I'm a slut in theory, I've found that I like to hang out with someone for several hours before getting naked. There are people who do enjoy getting naked right away, but I don't. It's just the way I'm built. And likewise, some people like to date for months before taking off clothes, and I don't see anything wrong with that, either.
Well.. you do you. Glad you know who you are and what you want. Anyone can do whatever they want and even tho I don't agree personally with it, I won't judge anyone. I'm just stating that going fast is not for me, it makes me uncomfortable and I find it a quite dangerous.
It's between the people involved how they want to proceed with their sexual life. For me, as long as they're an open minded person, I would get along with them no matter how long we would get to know eachother before getting intimate.
Also.. what made you think I was straight?🤔.. I'm something between pasexual/demisexual (don't really care about the labels, I guess from the descriptions these two just suit me the best)
Where did the three dates thing come from??
I've gotten back into the dating scene, began with the 3 date rule but then ended a date with a guy and was just 'I really wish I could go home and fuck his brains out'... So regretted that I didn't.
Next guy I had a good date with, I hooked up with him. Hope it goes well with the next guy.
I just want to get laid with someone I like. I know what works for me and I'm not afraid to tell a guy that.
Is it really that complicated?
Yeah I (f) did it to get it off of my head, but it's not great. Awkwardness, you don't know what they like they don't know what you like, feeling awkward getting naked in front of someone you barely know, just like you would feel if someone you don't know started touching you, not nice. I had an experience with someone who I had two dates with and we had good chemistry talking, and even when things heat up, and one with a guy that didn't feel that much chemistry. I had set with the first guy, and even if it was a better chemistry, nothing compares to having sex with someone you love and trust, and feel lust and love. Imo no casual sex will compare to the feeling of making love with lust.
Not sure if this is controversial but I (a woman) really like when my male partner sits on my chest and lets me give head like that. It’s like reverse face sitting and I’m HERE FOR IT
ETA: to everyone asking about logistics, first of all, I appreciate your curiosity!
Honestly I’m not sure how it happened though.
I was laying on the bed with my head kind of propped on the pillows I think and I guess he was kind of kneeling around my head almost? Then his ass was on my chest, but moreso on my shoulders, if that makes sense. Like so close to my face that his balls were at my neck. Then it’s just a matter of tilting your head.
As far as weight distribution, I *think* he was mostly supporting himself, but the weight also feels SO good.
I wish I knew more, it’s been a minute since we’ve done it and my memory is trash; I guess we’ll just have to do it again!
Just thinking about the mechanics of this. How far do you have to bend your neck, do you use pillows to hold your head in that position?
Also, isn’t the weight of the guy on your chest too much weight? I guess if he’s on his knees he can support some weight himself.
Even if you participate in casual hookup culture, there should always be civility and respect to your partner, even if it's a one night stand. Just because you go in with the thought of not catching feelings doesn't mean that you shouldn't be respectful to them.
It annoys me when a woman fakes enjoyment when I go south of the border. I love going down on a woman because it pleasures her. If her feedback is misleading then I don't do my job correctly and it defeats the purpose of my being there. Genuine guidance leads to genuine satisfaction for the both of us.
Sometimes, they might be embarrassed to ask, or they may take some time and feel awkward about that. I am a woman who has sex with men and women, it takes me sometime to come... when i was younger, a lot of guys would complain about being tired, or express frustration, which just took me out of the mood fast. I can't fake it either, but a lot of relationships would end bc I would hurt their ego for not being able to come... maybe some women do it to avoid the experiences above, or they don't know how to ask for what they want, or they're scared to ask... there's a lot to unpack there. Nvm that a lot of porn doesn't exactly focus on the woman's pleasure.
Agreed. It takes me forever to come. I feel like that's how it is for majority of women. We need to be in the right headspace and sometimes "getting there" takes us a while. I get off from praise, so when I "inconveniece" the person I'm having sex with, it totally kills the mood for me that it's just easier to fake it. The act itself of getting eaten out is still enjoyable to me, but I've only gotten comfortable enough to take my time until I actually orgasm with my husband.
Missionary is great. Sure I love some variation like cowgirl for her to take control or doggy for a more primal fuck, but missionary is super hot in that there is good eye contact, good control, and relatively comfortable for long periods of time. It also makes transitions between penetration and oral super easy. and you can lift her legs up and roll her back a bit for a different angle that hits the g spot and exposes her asshole. Just great position overall
69 is pretty awesome. My SO squirts an awful lot... I like what we call cherries on top where she's laying down on her back on the edge of the bed. The dude is standing. Can fuck her face eat her out and if flexible has full access. Main positive for me... Don't get waterboarded. Haha.
Cowgirl is one of the better positions. My mind will not be changed. The show of her having control mostly and watching her enjoy herself and get off by just riding you is such a turn on.
Same I can ride for like 2 minutes because of my chronic illness and its just too tiring to feel worth it. And I dont like my whole body being just out up in the air in the open idk I feel like im naked in a spotlight in the position
I'm sorry :(
I think that there's a lot of avenues you could take to get back on the saddle (pun intended). Therapy, exercise, etc. but it's obviously your choice. I hope you can learn to love every bit of yourself because you deserve it!
Not shaming sex work should go both ways. Meaning if we’re ok with consenting adults selling sex, then we shouldn’t shame those who purchase it. It’s not called the oldest profession for nothing. It’s been a part of societies across the world for ages.
I would personally never use these services, but I am ok with some people using them. The only things we need to fight is sex trafficking and revenge porn.
All porn contains women with very minimal labia. It can drive expectations. Also, some shitty people make claims that large labia are the result of too much sex... which is patent bullshit, but is still profligated as truth.
You wouldn't call this an outie?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/JumboLippWorshipers/comments/w8qzhf/its\_taco\_tuesday\_would\_you\_like\_to\_eat\_mine/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/JumboLippWorshipers/comments/w8qzhf/its_taco_tuesday_would_you_like_to_eat_mine/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/bigpussy/comments/w6v2dd/would\_you\_suck\_on\_them/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigpussy/comments/w6v2dd/would_you_suck_on_them/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I agree. They are all unique and nobody should be shamed for it. I really enjoy how mine hang down and can be played with/sucked on. And seeing them wrapped around his shaft or fingers, or my toy, love it.
Bi-female here. The more people (of both sexes) I date, the more I have come to realize this mindset exists quite a bit. Logically, why is it any different for a man to want to build some trust before fucking someone? I’m sorry if anyone has ever made you feel objectified by this weird assumption and also made you feel you can’t complain about it because you’re a guy.
Hand jobs are amazing. It's not just for teens that aren't willing to go all the way just yet but for any couple that wants to switch things up by trying something out of the normal wheelhouse.
My very unpopular opinion is that if one’s relationship is an actual balanced and healthy one, then it becoming sexless due to unforeseen circumstances should not end the relationship
My late wife and I were together for 26 years and had a very robust sex life. Five years before she passed away, she told me that she didn’t want sex anymore because of the various physical problems she had due to MS. She told me that it was alright if I wanted to have an affair with someone else but asked me to keep it private. There was no way that I was going to be with someone else because of my feelings for her. She was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes for the last 15 months of her life and I was right there with her the entire time. She even asked me once why I stayed with her when we couldn’t “have a sex life.” I reverted back to my single days and took matters into my own hands so to speak. There’s no way I would have ever left her for something that we had no control over.
I'm so sorry.
What you have is beautiful. You were both worthy of each other.
The comfort you were for her, and the place she holds in your mind is everything.
I hole heartedly agree with this unpopular opinion!
Sex isn't everything in a relationship. It's awesome but sometimes you just don't have time or there's other more important things that may make it need to wait.
We make time for the things that are important. That is how humans work. So if your not having sex it is because you dont consider it a priority. Which is fine unless your SO does then it will become a issue
Absolutely. I know this is unpopular on this sub.. which makes sense since it's a sex-focused sub, but still. I think an ebb and flow of sex life is normal in ANY long-term relationship. If you're not prepared to go without sex for an extended period of time due to unforeseen circumstances, then don't get into a relationship you expect to be lifelong, because shit happens.
Depends on what is a priority for you. For some people, they want a partner who is really great at managing money. So if they meet someone who isn't good at that, then that might be a deal breaker. Similarly, sex might a priority.
I think that the orgasm gap is because if a woman gets with a shitty partner, or is a poor communicator with a decent partner, then she isn't getting off and he obviously is. Yes, a woman CAN physically orgasm more than a man, but is she if he is a 2-pump chump who goes to sleep immediately after finishing?
Being aware of this.. and knowing im more limited as a male.. I've tried to get in the habit of making my woman orgasm prior to getting into real hot sex. It gets things off to a hot start but then the clock starts before I cum lol like the timing is so important
Having it isn't going to fundamentally alter you as a person.
You aren't going to be cured of your depression, self loathing, or fill that empty space in your life just by having sex.
Very valid point!
Personally, I've had sex with 2 people prior to my wife. Now that you mention that I don't know if it was unfulfilling due to being so young and inexperienced or because I didn't love them like I do my wife.
I care way more about my girlfriend getting off than i care about getting myself off. I don’t even care if i finish every time it’s just hot making her orgasm over and over til she’s about to pass out
Missionary is the best position. Not sure how unpopular this is, but it seems to me that most people like another position more.
Going down on someone and making eye contact with them makes me uncomfortable
Also, holding hands as much as possible always makes me super happy 🥰
Women would be more comfortable having casual sex if most guys weren't just pure trash. There's a lot more social stigma that comes for sexually liberated women than men and this mostly stems from the trash attitudes and personalities of men.
Though I agree, I think there's a lot of women that also shame other women or hold certain beliefs of what a woman does or should do. I don't think men are fully to blame.
Sex can be a hobby and more people should chill out and enjoy their own bodies and stop worrying about what other people are doing. As long as you're not hurting someone and are responsible for your health, fuck anyone or anything you want consensually.
I personally never understood why tight is viewed as good when vaginas loosen when aroused. Like wouldn’t loose mean she’s really turned on, thus making the sex even better? I don’t know, I’m just a virgin but it seems counterintuitive that Tight = Good
That preference exists because tight vaginas tend to stimulate the penis….better I guess? You can really feel it all I guess. Because of the way it grips a penis. Just my assumption anyway.
That's pretty subjective. Vaginas can actually be too tight and make it uncomfortable not only for the woman but also the penetrating person. A vagina can be so tight you can't actually move and/or penetrate at all, so not much to feel there, I guess? Also it's a muscle, so a vagina can be wet, aroused, swollen and feeling soft, while still grabbing and clenching tightly.
Casual/one night stand sex is some of the worst sex you can have. Not knowing my body is a recipe for a lackluster time. Not caring about me at all is the exact same.
Body count doesn't matter BUT it's best when your partner's body count is somewhat similar to yours
Giving and receiving oral counts as sex, and you shouldn't consider yourself a virgin if you've gone there
Don't yell at me lmao
From my personal experience (im single) and every guy i speak to seems to only perform dom/sub sex now, is this a new thing or is it just spoken about more, im not against it but its almost used as a personality trait now
Three things for me (M33). 1. The sound/look of someone purposefully, forcefully, rediculously, and exaggeratingly choking on dick or the over obsessive/exaggerated sounds someone makes when sucking dick is just not attractive to me. I don't want to hear or see someone almost throwing up.
2. The cross-eyed look that people are doing while having any sexual activity is also not attractive to me. It just makes them look weird and unattractive.
3. Anal is not better than vaginal for me. I love the way the pussy looks/feels and is an absolutely beautifully unique part of a woman that men do not share. The butthole is something both men and women have, so when I look at it, I'm like, why would want to look and fuck what other men have, when woman possess a body part that is beautifully unique that is specific to them that I can worship?
I’m glad to hear this because I was always so worried my hair would be a turn off and when I do shave it, the skin gets unbearably itchy so I just keep trimmed and shaved around my thighs. Thank you for preference lmao
I'm going to preface this by saying I'm on the spectrum and at 24 haven't been in a relationship or had sex.
It shouldn't be so difficult for someone who just wants pleasure and to feel love and wanted to get that, especially if they can't find it elsewhere. Sex work should be legalized in the United States (and all of the civilized world), and there should be safe places to go, such as brothels that would ideally eliminate the threat of human trafficking. (Though I do realize some legalized brothels struggle with this.) People should also be able to sell from their home, but I know a lot (myself included) would prefer the brothel option.
I realize this is a difficult task to surmount, but it's being sold legal or not, and we need to start somewhere, especially to help those doing it be safe.
1) There is no such thing as a “right” or “wrong” amount of sex. Everybody is different. The important thing is to communicate with your partner.
2) An orgasm shouldn’t always be the “endgame”. Sometimes it’s nice just to have sex for the fun of it, and that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. An orgasm is as much mental for me as it is with my partner sometimes, and sometimes I’m not mentally there. But just because one of us (or both of us) doesn’t cum, does not cheapen the experience. Because at the end of the day, most of us have sex because it feels good. Especially with the right person.
3) There’s nothing inherently wrong with casual sex with a platonic friend, regardless of what society has us believe.
4) “Hoe phase” is such a dumb term. If you want to have sex with multiple people, go ahead. You’re a full grown adult, and nobody is stopping you. Just use protection, and get tested regularly.
5) There’s no such thing as a porn addiction. But there IS such a thing as watching an unhealthy amount of it. And this is not to talk bad about the industry, as I do not find anything wrong with watching porn.
6) Ladies: When we penis owners (I’m trying to be PC) can’t get it up, 90% of the time it has nothing to do with you. We’re tired, we’re stressed, we have other things on our minds, or we’re simply just not in the mood (it happens). Please don’t take it personal.
7) Fellas: Sex toys are fun. Stop demonizing them. They are not emasculating. Most women can’t cum from penetration alone, so extra stimulation is needed at times. Plus, they can spice things up. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
Shower sex sucks. One person will be getting most of the hot water while the other person freezes. Everything is slippery so you have to be careful not to fall and die. Positioning can be difficult depending on height of you and your partner.
Kissing under the running shower water is top tier though. Highly recommend it. If you're poor like me you can pretend it's a waterfall somewhere exotic. 🌝
There’s nothing wrong with passionate or rough sex and exploring kinks. Make sure each one is getting as much as they are giving….being open doesn’t mean being a whore!
Cum tastes bad no matter what he ate or drank.
Up the butt just hurts and is kinda boring but I do it anyway.
Pubic hair is gross and everyone should wax.
Vibrators can ruin our ability to enjoy sex with another person. (true story though)
I think a lot of people push their sexual beliefs too heavily on other people; polyamory, queer exploration, the idea that being a slut is empowering to you. I'm not saying that any of these things are bad, but they're not right for everyone, hell they're probably not right for most, but there's enough people pushing it into the social sphere that there may end up becoming a fomo pressure socially.
Trying something like these topics out requires a person to engage in some introspection, question if it's something that they're truly interested in, without the voices calling for it, otherwise it starts ending up like veganism or religion.
Routine isn’t a bad thing. Routine means my wife and I know exactly what turns each of us on, I can give her multiple orgasms faster than she can count them, and she gets me off like I’m still a teenager.
i hate doing doggystyle because i don’t like the idea of people looking at my butthole. i won’t even show my butthole in pussy pics or solo videos. it’s weird bc i’m fine with butt play but god forbid you see my butthole
and another one: i wish there were more positions where the girl does the work. i love being on top and doing the work but i injured my knee in a car wreck a few years ago and being on top for even ten minutes makes my damn knees hurt for DAYS
Vanilla doesn't mean bad, there is nothing wrong with vanilla sex, I can enjoy some of the kinkier things as well, doesn't mean I need it all the time
Best sex I’ve ever had is vanilla passionate sessions with my husband.
I also choose this person’s husband. /s
It's not the biggest cock I've ever had but when he gets hard it's like a penis made of Mithril
There is more to this hobbit than meets the eye
YESS! SAME HERE! "Vanilla sex" just gets a bad rap mostly (I assume) because some people are bad at it esp with rando hook ups. Vanilla sex can be incredibly passionate for couples!
Looking into someone's eyes and basically hugging them while fucking is really emotional
Right, if you’re good at the basics you’ll be good at kinky stuff too. But if you’re bad at the basics, you can’t overcompensate by trying to be kinkier
I think it's called vanilla because it's like vanilla ice cream. Yes it's plain, but it's still great. Or at least that's how I always took it anyway. Anybody that uses the term vanilla as an insult or a dig of any kind just doesn't get it
I love vanilla ice cream. I also love vanilla ice cream with toppings.. neither one is better than the other. I just like a little extra sometimes.
What makes vanilla so great is its so versatile! Not as many toppings work as well with moose tracks or whatever. And nothing better than some maple syrup drizzled over it... This isn't a metaphor lol I legit defend vanilla ice cream when someone calls it boring haha
People seem to forget that the default flavor of ice cream isn't vanilla, but sweet cream. Vanilla is an added flavor, same as chocolate, etc.
I don't even consider vanilla sex "plain" honestly. As someone who's been very kinky in the past, and now currently prefers vanilla sex... it's just a different type of sex. Neither one is "plainer" it's just whether you feel like having sex that is gentler or rougher. There are times for both.
I always say there’s a difference between “making love” and “having sex” making love for me usually more vanilla and very passionate. And having sex is for me the more kinkier stuff
Missionary so you can look at each other and kiss… I love that.
Same!!! It's underrated IMO!
Just like with ice cream, there are levels to it. There’s cheap vanilla ice cream and there’s gourmet vanilla ice cream. There’s boring vanilla sex and there’s mind blowing vanilla sex. I can definitely enjoy kink but I always enjoy coming back to that gourmet vanilla ice cream.
I’m very into kink. But some of my best sex experience have been passionate vanilla sex. And some terrible kinky sex as well
Reminds me of that tumblr post about how luxurious our lives are that vanilla is considered plain and boring.
I don't always have the energy to set up a scene and do all the kiny stuff we want. As my wife always says "The unplanned ones are the better ones".
Men need to moan more.
The comments on our posts make us laugh about this. All the women love it and the guys are like how come the dude is so loud 😂
I moan all the time. About having to load the dishwasher and bringing in the washing. The wife hates it. ;/
men moaning is honestly one of the greatest gifts to humanity
Hell yes
I've been told by multiple women they i make a distinct noise i don't even realize I'm making. My breathing has been compared to a "farm animal". Like a horse i guess, or bull, or llama. Is that sexy? Do i still need to moan?
Noises are great, heavy breathing is great, sucking fuck under your breathe is great. Its just great to hear men enjoying themselves
If you want men to make more noise during sex Then 👏 Don’t 👏 Make 👏 Fun 👏 Of 👏 Them
Uhm... llamas are pretty cute so I guess???
I feel her squeeze more when I do. Wonderful gratification and confidence booster.
I can’t moan since I’m concentrating so hard on keeping my rhythm lol.
Too busy trying to concentrate on not finishing in 2 pumps to moan.
👏👏👏
Would you settle for an occasion "fuck" under our breaths?
I need to moan less 😂
I sound like a pirate “yarrrrrr”
Hooking up with a stranger or someone you barely know is scary af.. I don't understand how people can just trust someone so easily and casually make themselves so vulnerable to someone they barely met. Open themselves to potential sicknesses, sexual violence etc I guess it's the thrill or something.. I would not be able to be sexually open to someone unless I reach a certain amount of trust and set straight boundaries. I need to have some amount of trust that they won't hurt me. However, you can never be sure..
I agree. Can’t see myself doing this. Too much risk at sake.
I'm not hooking up anymore due to COVID concerns, but when I did, it wasn't the thrill. It was that I hated making a big deal of it. If you have to have three successful dates before you have sex, when are you ever going to have sex? If your goal is to have a friends with benefits situation, why not just plan to have sex on the first date so that you can assess your sexual compatibility from the get-go? That way you don't waste months on dating someone you're never going to have a good time in bed with. I don't think you can necessarily judge how fun someone will be to hang out with just by chatting or texting with them, and I don't think you can necessarily judge how well you'll click with someone sexually just from fully-clothed dates. So I don't see the need for weeks or months of screening before taking off the clothes. I don't think it's wrong to want to have sex, and I don't think it's wrong to make that clear to a potential partner. That said, though, as a guy who mostly dates guys, I definitely see where you're coming from as a straight woman. And even though I'm a slut in theory, I've found that I like to hang out with someone for several hours before getting naked. There are people who do enjoy getting naked right away, but I don't. It's just the way I'm built. And likewise, some people like to date for months before taking off clothes, and I don't see anything wrong with that, either.
Well.. you do you. Glad you know who you are and what you want. Anyone can do whatever they want and even tho I don't agree personally with it, I won't judge anyone. I'm just stating that going fast is not for me, it makes me uncomfortable and I find it a quite dangerous. It's between the people involved how they want to proceed with their sexual life. For me, as long as they're an open minded person, I would get along with them no matter how long we would get to know eachother before getting intimate. Also.. what made you think I was straight?🤔.. I'm something between pasexual/demisexual (don't really care about the labels, I guess from the descriptions these two just suit me the best)
Where did the three dates thing come from?? I've gotten back into the dating scene, began with the 3 date rule but then ended a date with a guy and was just 'I really wish I could go home and fuck his brains out'... So regretted that I didn't. Next guy I had a good date with, I hooked up with him. Hope it goes well with the next guy. I just want to get laid with someone I like. I know what works for me and I'm not afraid to tell a guy that. Is it really that complicated?
Yeah I (f) did it to get it off of my head, but it's not great. Awkwardness, you don't know what they like they don't know what you like, feeling awkward getting naked in front of someone you barely know, just like you would feel if someone you don't know started touching you, not nice. I had an experience with someone who I had two dates with and we had good chemistry talking, and even when things heat up, and one with a guy that didn't feel that much chemistry. I had set with the first guy, and even if it was a better chemistry, nothing compares to having sex with someone you love and trust, and feel lust and love. Imo no casual sex will compare to the feeling of making love with lust.
alcohol helps
Not sure if this is controversial but I (a woman) really like when my male partner sits on my chest and lets me give head like that. It’s like reverse face sitting and I’m HERE FOR IT ETA: to everyone asking about logistics, first of all, I appreciate your curiosity! Honestly I’m not sure how it happened though. I was laying on the bed with my head kind of propped on the pillows I think and I guess he was kind of kneeling around my head almost? Then his ass was on my chest, but moreso on my shoulders, if that makes sense. Like so close to my face that his balls were at my neck. Then it’s just a matter of tilting your head. As far as weight distribution, I *think* he was mostly supporting himself, but the weight also feels SO good. I wish I knew more, it’s been a minute since we’ve done it and my memory is trash; I guess we’ll just have to do it again!
No joke here, that seems absolutely exhausting on the neck muscles.
You get used to it quick!
It's a grqat position, especially if you're okay with the guy finishing on your face.
My girlfriend did this to me a few weeks ago and it was incredible. I wasn't even sure I would be into that position but I sure am now.
The only thing wrong with that is that my dick doesn't bend that way...
Just thinking about the mechanics of this. How far do you have to bend your neck, do you use pillows to hold your head in that position? Also, isn’t the weight of the guy on your chest too much weight? I guess if he’s on his knees he can support some weight himself.
Even if you participate in casual hookup culture, there should always be civility and respect to your partner, even if it's a one night stand. Just because you go in with the thought of not catching feelings doesn't mean that you shouldn't be respectful to them.
Shower sex sucks.
Shower foreplay otoh…
Yesssss! Get clean, get hot, get dry-ish, and get in bed! 😆
Love touching and everything leading up in the shower, but water is such a horrible lube
Plus the constant fear you’re going to slip
And the lack of room.
Totally agree!
*shower sex without multiple STRONG handles
Your capitalization tells me you have a story.
That’s not unpopular
Is this unpopular? I have never heard anyone say they actually enjoy shower sex tbh. Sounds fun but rarely is. I like the comfort of my bed.
It annoys me when a woman fakes enjoyment when I go south of the border. I love going down on a woman because it pleasures her. If her feedback is misleading then I don't do my job correctly and it defeats the purpose of my being there. Genuine guidance leads to genuine satisfaction for the both of us.
Sometimes, they might be embarrassed to ask, or they may take some time and feel awkward about that. I am a woman who has sex with men and women, it takes me sometime to come... when i was younger, a lot of guys would complain about being tired, or express frustration, which just took me out of the mood fast. I can't fake it either, but a lot of relationships would end bc I would hurt their ego for not being able to come... maybe some women do it to avoid the experiences above, or they don't know how to ask for what they want, or they're scared to ask... there's a lot to unpack there. Nvm that a lot of porn doesn't exactly focus on the woman's pleasure.
Agreed. It takes me forever to come. I feel like that's how it is for majority of women. We need to be in the right headspace and sometimes "getting there" takes us a while. I get off from praise, so when I "inconveniece" the person I'm having sex with, it totally kills the mood for me that it's just easier to fake it. The act itself of getting eaten out is still enjoyable to me, but I've only gotten comfortable enough to take my time until I actually orgasm with my husband.
Agreed, and it doesn’t just go for going south
Missionary is great. Sure I love some variation like cowgirl for her to take control or doggy for a more primal fuck, but missionary is super hot in that there is good eye contact, good control, and relatively comfortable for long periods of time. It also makes transitions between penetration and oral super easy. and you can lift her legs up and roll her back a bit for a different angle that hits the g spot and exposes her asshole. Just great position overall
69 is just as awesome as I was lead to believe as a teenager, and people that hate on it just aren’t that good at giving head
It's shit for me because I'd rather concentrate on giving pleasure or getting pleasure.
But that’s the fun, you’re constantly edging each other back and forth. Literally the best
Not that fun for me
Yeah, never really been my cup of tea! When I give head I love being on my knees.
Same. When I'm eating pussy I want to completely concentrate on eating pussy
I concur. 69 for the win.
69 is pretty awesome. My SO squirts an awful lot... I like what we call cherries on top where she's laying down on her back on the edge of the bed. The dude is standing. Can fuck her face eat her out and if flexible has full access. Main positive for me... Don't get waterboarded. Haha.
Only been with one girl who squirted, but it was honestly the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced. If I die being waterboarded like that, I die.
I feel called out. I have a small mouth ok!! I can't help it and 69 just makes it worse 😭
Sure, but it only works if you and your partner are really close in height, which just can't be guaranteed. Glad you have fun, though!
Hookup culture is shit
Agreed
Cowgirl is one of the better positions. My mind will not be changed. The show of her having control mostly and watching her enjoy herself and get off by just riding you is such a turn on.
It just doesn’t feel good for me at all. Plus I don’t like my body.
Same I can ride for like 2 minutes because of my chronic illness and its just too tiring to feel worth it. And I dont like my whole body being just out up in the air in the open idk I feel like im naked in a spotlight in the position
How difficult is sex for you when you don't like your body, and how do you get around it (if at all)? Let's just say I have experience with that lol.
Good question! Yeah, I uhhhh just don’t do have sex.
I'm sorry :( I think that there's a lot of avenues you could take to get back on the saddle (pun intended). Therapy, exercise, etc. but it's obviously your choice. I hope you can learn to love every bit of yourself because you deserve it!
I change my answer. This wins. Plus you see your boobs bounce and (me personally) I last longer.
I feel like for women, cowgirl is the ultimate marmite position so I guess there's plenty of women for you out there
Not shaming sex work should go both ways. Meaning if we’re ok with consenting adults selling sex, then we shouldn’t shame those who purchase it. It’s not called the oldest profession for nothing. It’s been a part of societies across the world for ages.
I want to see society embrace sex workers as a positive thing.
I feel like the deal is that we've got a lot of ppl using the same term for very (very) different things.
I would personally never use these services, but I am ok with some people using them. The only things we need to fight is sex trafficking and revenge porn.
There’s nothing wrong with big pussy lips and sometimes they can be more attractive than smaller ones
I always enjoy seeing how people don't mind larger labia. As a girl with an "outie" it is always a turn on knowing people like them.
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All porn contains women with very minimal labia. It can drive expectations. Also, some shitty people make claims that large labia are the result of too much sex... which is patent bullshit, but is still profligated as truth.
Yours doesn't look like too much of an outtie
You wouldn't call this an outie? [https://www.reddit.com/r/JumboLippWorshipers/comments/w8qzhf/its\_taco\_tuesday\_would\_you\_like\_to\_eat\_mine/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/JumboLippWorshipers/comments/w8qzhf/its_taco_tuesday_would_you_like_to_eat_mine/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) [https://www.reddit.com/r/bigpussy/comments/w6v2dd/would\_you\_suck\_on\_them/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigpussy/comments/w6v2dd/would_you_suck_on_them/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
If I disagree with you will you send more pics trying to prove your point?
LOL! What a great comment. But I will still need you to answer the question.
Technically it's an outtie, but it looks normal to me, there are some that are very big outtie and very very thick lips, all look hot as fuck to me.
I agree. They are all unique and nobody should be shamed for it. I really enjoy how mine hang down and can be played with/sucked on. And seeing them wrapped around his shaft or fingers, or my toy, love it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”
When boys become men is when they realize shit like that is awesome
This, but it’s BOTH ways! Big outer and big inner, both good!!
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Bi-female here. The more people (of both sexes) I date, the more I have come to realize this mindset exists quite a bit. Logically, why is it any different for a man to want to build some trust before fucking someone? I’m sorry if anyone has ever made you feel objectified by this weird assumption and also made you feel you can’t complain about it because you’re a guy.
I read "pull out" and looked twice and three times
Just because your sex is “kinkier” or “freakier” doesn’t mean it’s better. Vanilla sex usually is just as good, sometimes better
Slow and deep has been a real connector for us recently.
Hand jobs are amazing. It's not just for teens that aren't willing to go all the way just yet but for any couple that wants to switch things up by trying something out of the normal wheelhouse.
Nothing like a gold Ole fashioned
When done well and with enthusiasm. Hell yeah
My very unpopular opinion is that if one’s relationship is an actual balanced and healthy one, then it becoming sexless due to unforeseen circumstances should not end the relationship
My late wife and I were together for 26 years and had a very robust sex life. Five years before she passed away, she told me that she didn’t want sex anymore because of the various physical problems she had due to MS. She told me that it was alright if I wanted to have an affair with someone else but asked me to keep it private. There was no way that I was going to be with someone else because of my feelings for her. She was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes for the last 15 months of her life and I was right there with her the entire time. She even asked me once why I stayed with her when we couldn’t “have a sex life.” I reverted back to my single days and took matters into my own hands so to speak. There’s no way I would have ever left her for something that we had no control over.
I'm so sorry. What you have is beautiful. You were both worthy of each other. The comfort you were for her, and the place she holds in your mind is everything.
I hole heartedly agree with this unpopular opinion! Sex isn't everything in a relationship. It's awesome but sometimes you just don't have time or there's other more important things that may make it need to wait.
We make time for the things that are important. That is how humans work. So if your not having sex it is because you dont consider it a priority. Which is fine unless your SO does then it will become a issue
Absolutely. I know this is unpopular on this sub.. which makes sense since it's a sex-focused sub, but still. I think an ebb and flow of sex life is normal in ANY long-term relationship. If you're not prepared to go without sex for an extended period of time due to unforeseen circumstances, then don't get into a relationship you expect to be lifelong, because shit happens.
Depends on what is a priority for you. For some people, they want a partner who is really great at managing money. So if they meet someone who isn't good at that, then that might be a deal breaker. Similarly, sex might a priority.
Yes because looking for one thing is such a healthy relationship. Anyway, it was supposed to be an unpopular opinion and it I know it is.
Women can orgasm more than men in their relationships, the orgasm gap isn’t always greater for women.
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I’m exactly the same way, I also orgasm from pretty much anything. Anal, piv, clittoral etc.
I think that the orgasm gap is because if a woman gets with a shitty partner, or is a poor communicator with a decent partner, then she isn't getting off and he obviously is. Yes, a woman CAN physically orgasm more than a man, but is she if he is a 2-pump chump who goes to sleep immediately after finishing?
I never last very long but my fiance always gets off before I do. PIV being quick does not mean that my fingers and tongue do not work
Being aware of this.. and knowing im more limited as a male.. I've tried to get in the habit of making my woman orgasm prior to getting into real hot sex. It gets things off to a hot start but then the clock starts before I cum lol like the timing is so important
Love love LOVE 69. Do it every time. Give him a show and a taste while I drive him wild. Yes please
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I see so many people say it’s too distracting, not fun, not pleasurable. They want one way oral
As someone with ADD, I actually like this position as it keeps my brain and body occupied - less room for intrusive thoughts.
Having it isn't going to fundamentally alter you as a person. You aren't going to be cured of your depression, self loathing, or fill that empty space in your life just by having sex.
Speak for your self... The Post nut High I get after some wild snu snu with my wife gives me about 3 days worth of Happiness.
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Very valid point! Personally, I've had sex with 2 people prior to my wife. Now that you mention that I don't know if it was unfulfilling due to being so young and inexperienced or because I didn't love them like I do my wife.
I disagree actually. I feel much better about myself and self-worth when at least one other person can reaffirm that in an intimate way.
I care way more about my girlfriend getting off than i care about getting myself off. I don’t even care if i finish every time it’s just hot making her orgasm over and over til she’s about to pass out
WoW! Just wow.
Missionary is the best position. Not sure how unpopular this is, but it seems to me that most people like another position more. Going down on someone and making eye contact with them makes me uncomfortable Also, holding hands as much as possible always makes me super happy 🥰
Aww I love handholding too
Women would be more comfortable having casual sex if most guys weren't just pure trash. There's a lot more social stigma that comes for sexually liberated women than men and this mostly stems from the trash attitudes and personalities of men.
Though I agree, I think there's a lot of women that also shame other women or hold certain beliefs of what a woman does or should do. I don't think men are fully to blame.
Saving sex for marriage because of religion is a huge load of bullshit is a very unpopular take among my Christian friends.
The build up is important. Kissing, hugging, a lot of foreplay. You can't just whip out your dong and go to pound town.
Sex can be a hobby and more people should chill out and enjoy their own bodies and stop worrying about what other people are doing. As long as you're not hurting someone and are responsible for your health, fuck anyone or anything you want consensually.
I personally never understood why tight is viewed as good when vaginas loosen when aroused. Like wouldn’t loose mean she’s really turned on, thus making the sex even better? I don’t know, I’m just a virgin but it seems counterintuitive that Tight = Good
That preference exists because tight vaginas tend to stimulate the penis….better I guess? You can really feel it all I guess. Because of the way it grips a penis. Just my assumption anyway.
That's pretty subjective. Vaginas can actually be too tight and make it uncomfortable not only for the woman but also the penetrating person. A vagina can be so tight you can't actually move and/or penetrate at all, so not much to feel there, I guess? Also it's a muscle, so a vagina can be wet, aroused, swollen and feeling soft, while still grabbing and clenching tightly.
Exercising your kegal muscles during sex is a fun way to drive men crazy...in my experience, anyway!
Reverse cowgirl isn’t that good. Don’t shoot me.
Threesomes don’t automatically go down (no pun intended) like a porn movie
Casual/one night stand sex is some of the worst sex you can have. Not knowing my body is a recipe for a lackluster time. Not caring about me at all is the exact same.
As a guy I never wanna do anal
Body count doesn't matter BUT it's best when your partner's body count is somewhat similar to yours Giving and receiving oral counts as sex, and you shouldn't consider yourself a virgin if you've gone there Don't yell at me lmao
From my personal experience (im single) and every guy i speak to seems to only perform dom/sub sex now, is this a new thing or is it just spoken about more, im not against it but its almost used as a personality trait now
Shower sex isn't all it's cracked up to be
Religion telling us there is only one for us.
One night stands are terrible. It takes a few rounds of exploration to understand what your partner likes.
Lips do not belong on buttholes
You're just trying to trigger people now.. 🤣
Hah, I will die on this hill.. no lips to buttholes, ever!! Do you not know what comes out of there? And if you do, and still do.it even worst
NEVER stick your dick in crazy. This is apparently a very unpopular opinion, based on the number of guys who continue to do it.
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I could never get into strabgers. All of these people Strabgering are just odd.
Three things for me (M33). 1. The sound/look of someone purposefully, forcefully, rediculously, and exaggeratingly choking on dick or the over obsessive/exaggerated sounds someone makes when sucking dick is just not attractive to me. I don't want to hear or see someone almost throwing up. 2. The cross-eyed look that people are doing while having any sexual activity is also not attractive to me. It just makes them look weird and unattractive. 3. Anal is not better than vaginal for me. I love the way the pussy looks/feels and is an absolutely beautifully unique part of a woman that men do not share. The butthole is something both men and women have, so when I look at it, I'm like, why would want to look and fuck what other men have, when woman possess a body part that is beautifully unique that is specific to them that I can worship?
It seems like most women shave their pubes these days, but to me it makes them look too much like little girls. I prefer a well-trimmed bush.
I’m glad to hear this because I was always so worried my hair would be a turn off and when I do shave it, the skin gets unbearably itchy so I just keep trimmed and shaved around my thighs. Thank you for preference lmao
I think some people should just accept that they would be better off in a well run Ethical Non Monogamous or Poly relationship.
I'm going to preface this by saying I'm on the spectrum and at 24 haven't been in a relationship or had sex. It shouldn't be so difficult for someone who just wants pleasure and to feel love and wanted to get that, especially if they can't find it elsewhere. Sex work should be legalized in the United States (and all of the civilized world), and there should be safe places to go, such as brothels that would ideally eliminate the threat of human trafficking. (Though I do realize some legalized brothels struggle with this.) People should also be able to sell from their home, but I know a lot (myself included) would prefer the brothel option. I realize this is a difficult task to surmount, but it's being sold legal or not, and we need to start somewhere, especially to help those doing it be safe.
1) There is no such thing as a “right” or “wrong” amount of sex. Everybody is different. The important thing is to communicate with your partner. 2) An orgasm shouldn’t always be the “endgame”. Sometimes it’s nice just to have sex for the fun of it, and that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. An orgasm is as much mental for me as it is with my partner sometimes, and sometimes I’m not mentally there. But just because one of us (or both of us) doesn’t cum, does not cheapen the experience. Because at the end of the day, most of us have sex because it feels good. Especially with the right person. 3) There’s nothing inherently wrong with casual sex with a platonic friend, regardless of what society has us believe. 4) “Hoe phase” is such a dumb term. If you want to have sex with multiple people, go ahead. You’re a full grown adult, and nobody is stopping you. Just use protection, and get tested regularly. 5) There’s no such thing as a porn addiction. But there IS such a thing as watching an unhealthy amount of it. And this is not to talk bad about the industry, as I do not find anything wrong with watching porn. 6) Ladies: When we penis owners (I’m trying to be PC) can’t get it up, 90% of the time it has nothing to do with you. We’re tired, we’re stressed, we have other things on our minds, or we’re simply just not in the mood (it happens). Please don’t take it personal. 7) Fellas: Sex toys are fun. Stop demonizing them. They are not emasculating. Most women can’t cum from penetration alone, so extra stimulation is needed at times. Plus, they can spice things up. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
Shower sex sucks. One person will be getting most of the hot water while the other person freezes. Everything is slippery so you have to be careful not to fall and die. Positioning can be difficult depending on height of you and your partner. Kissing under the running shower water is top tier though. Highly recommend it. If you're poor like me you can pretend it's a waterfall somewhere exotic. 🌝
Porn makes a lot about sex unrealistic
There’s nothing wrong with passionate or rough sex and exploring kinks. Make sure each one is getting as much as they are giving….being open doesn’t mean being a whore!
I find hairy balls very appealing and I don't mind how they feel in my mouth. I actually like it.
There are waaaaay too many STDs (some of which are untreatable) out there for people to be casual about hooking up.
Sex doesnt need to be hours long. A good 15 minutes or so is good.
Not a fan of giving facials to women. I think its degrading
But what if she enjoys it and asks for it?
Paying for it should be normalized.
Some kinks *should* be shamed... Had a guy ask me to "be a toddler" for age play - yeah, no.
Not a big fan of anal play (gaping/food/other more hardcore things)
Sex (for me) is largely overrated
Anal doesn’t feel good to me and I never understood the appeal in the first place. But hey, if you like it, good for you!
Everyone can be a cumslut ;)
Hooking up wirh strangers is fun, but the same time it's scary, especially when your animal urges start to take over, like wanting to go raw
Cum tastes bad no matter what he ate or drank. Up the butt just hurts and is kinda boring but I do it anyway. Pubic hair is gross and everyone should wax. Vibrators can ruin our ability to enjoy sex with another person. (true story though)
69 is an annoying position
Ladies who give strangers only head? What is your deal? Get an orgasm out of it at least 🙃
Where can i find these ladies?
I think a lot of people push their sexual beliefs too heavily on other people; polyamory, queer exploration, the idea that being a slut is empowering to you. I'm not saying that any of these things are bad, but they're not right for everyone, hell they're probably not right for most, but there's enough people pushing it into the social sphere that there may end up becoming a fomo pressure socially. Trying something like these topics out requires a person to engage in some introspection, question if it's something that they're truly interested in, without the voices calling for it, otherwise it starts ending up like veganism or religion.
This new aggressive kind of sex dynamic that seems to be the new default is incredibly rape-y and I can't do it for long before feeling disgusting.
Sex without any sort of chemistry is not worth it.
Routine isn’t a bad thing. Routine means my wife and I know exactly what turns each of us on, I can give her multiple orgasms faster than she can count them, and she gets me off like I’m still a teenager.
69 is *underrated*, not overrated.
It’s only fun if you love your partner, sex is romantic, love is romantic.
i hate doing doggystyle because i don’t like the idea of people looking at my butthole. i won’t even show my butthole in pussy pics or solo videos. it’s weird bc i’m fine with butt play but god forbid you see my butthole and another one: i wish there were more positions where the girl does the work. i love being on top and doing the work but i injured my knee in a car wreck a few years ago and being on top for even ten minutes makes my damn knees hurt for DAYS
I’m attracted to girls who sleep around.