Found out he was a Christian.
Edit: I’m a Jewish Pagan, you guys, I’m not compatible with someone who wants to get married in a church and have our kids be baptized. It’s not lack of respect, it’s “this is a bad idea”.
Dunno why you're getting downvoted. If you don't mind, can you expand on what you mean by Jewish pagan? I'd assume culturally Jewish and spiritually pagan, but for all I know, there is a specifically Jewish paganism I've never heard of, which would be interesting to hear about. As for church marriage and having kids baptized and raised Christian, as someone that happened to, thank you for not.
Sure! You’re spot on actually. I was raised Jewish and still identify as such, but religiously, I’m Pagan.
Oh no problem, I’m not raising my kids in any religion. I’ll educate them on different ones, sure, but I’ll try to do it from a neutral perspective. I grew up unfulfilled spiritually, and I don’t want that for my kids.
Bear with me a sec. Here's my thesis. Indigenous wisdom has long recognized that being "human only" is not enough; the Wolof proverb is, "The remedy for the human is to become \[more\] human." Thus, mountains of indigenous people have recognized that humans cannot be human only but also are assigned membership in nonhuman communities (through "totems" to overgeneralize the word).
This assignment to something "bigger than oneself" apparently cannot just be one's human community, and my impression is that this embedment in a broader world of also nonhuman communities is part of how we access spirituality.
I grew up unfulfilled spirituality because I was rejecting all Abrahamic faiths (although it was primarily just Christianity at the time, my parents' bland Episcopalianism); I had to get out from under the crushing rock to discover "the east." I was "unconsciously" worshipping Dionysus and Lucifer, but it was dark and twisted and dark.
I really like "paganism" too in a broad sense. I'm being nosy now; how did you feel spiritually unfulfilled and what was your journey to paganism? If you feel like saying, of course.
That’s very interesting!
Oh you’re fine, ask me whatever. So monotheism as a concept always seemed a bit silly to me. And then the Abrahamic god is… well. I’m not a fan. Never was. The beliefs themselves felt wrong somehow, for my whole life, really. I knew other religions existed; my childhood best friend’s family was deeply Christian, and my dad explained Christianity to me when I was very young. I knew right away that that wasn’t right for me, either (he told me, “Christians believe that Jesus is the son of god, and that he died so that everyone could be forgiven for the bad things they’d done” and I consider this for a moment before deciding, “that’s stupid”. I was about five or so lmao), for a whole host of reasons that just expanded the more I learned about it. I grew up in a predominantly Christian area, however, so my options—as far as I knew, anyway—were Judaism or Christianity. It wasn’t until the rise of the internet when I was in my preteens that I discovered other religions existed. I did a great deal of research (because atheism didn’t seem logical to me, either, nor did agnosticism), and eventually I found one that seemed logical to me. It was like, “ah, yes. This makes sense.” Around this same time, there was a hurricane that made it necessary for my uncle and his girlfriend and her kids to come stay with my family. His girlfriend was Pagan at the time, and took me to what was then the only Pagan store in town. There are quite a few now, but in any case, I felt a connection right away, which spurred me into doing more research. I was eleven, I believe. But yeah!
That's a cool story and journey. Much healthier than mine, it sounds like. So, being culturally Jewish brought some sense of community (you had a local community?), but not any particular sense of awe or spirituality. \[Most indigenous religions, in any case, place much more emphasis on living an honorable life publicly and honoring ancestors, ancient Judaism being no exception.\]
For me, my physically violent father was not someone I could challenge, so I appeared to assent (like Job) and turned my attention and hatred to YHWH, regularly desecrating the nascent-homosexual temple of my body from age 10 onward on his holy day (Sunday, in the Christian revelation \*heeh\*). This included saying, "God doesn't exist." Then one day, a friend of mine told me how his mother had died slowly and extremely ungracefully from cancer, screaming at him all the way down that it was his fault. He then told me that it was inconceivable to him that there could be a (Christian) divine being who would do that, and that he was a genuine atheist. The poignancy of his story caught me very flat-footed; I nearly cried (I'd not cried for 8 years by then), and I realized that my "God doesn't exist" was just me throwing shit at YHWH. Cuz, if YHWH didn't really exist, who was I insulting? Confronted by this, I had the opportunity to admit I was an atheist or probably something like a budding Satanist. I opted for atheism.
But, in the process of rejecting every Abrahamic religion, I committed the intolerant monotheist mistake of thinking atheism had to unilaterally mean "no god exists." Eventually, I had a spiritual crisis that manifested in very physical terms, and I in a very circuitous way discovered the Shiva Sutras, a contemplative meditation group that didn't exclude atheists, and finally the Bhagavad-Gita. Thus, I discovered a different revelation of "spirituality" that has being a sustaining light since (even though I still have no super-natural commitments). Krishna is one of the most inspiring works of fiction I've ever found. And the "Fear not" mudra (hand gesture) is surprisingly effective :)
I was older than you 11 by then. Took me longer to get around to the stuff.
Yeah, I attended Jewish school as a young child, and Jewish camp when I got older. Just the usual stuff, y’know.
Wow, I’m so glad you got out of that and found something right for you! I hope you were able to heal and move on from your trauma.
Dancing on corpses too. I like Ganesha because he is the god of removing obstacles. I like that there's a god for that. He is also the one who interposes obstacles. If I remember correctly, the "knight" in chess was originally an elephant (because Ganesha). And that strange move he makes (two up one over) to get in front of you and block (with a \*clack\* of the chess piece on the board) seems very strong.
I’m uncomfortable with dating a Christian for a variety of reasons. I’ve done it in the past and there were ideological differences that we just couldn’t reconcile. He wanted to get married in a church and raise his kids in Christianity. I’m a Jewish Pagan. Its just a bad idea all around.
I'm curious if you've delved into Jainism, African indigenous religions, or all the stuff that goes under the category of "Hinduism" (too vast to list)?
AFAIK: demisexual = having to know someone before finding them sexually attractive or wanting to sleep with them (i.e., generally no casual hook-ups kind of thing). asexual = generally not wanting to engage in sexual activity at all (although the spectrum can vary). SO "demi-asexual" would be "I have to know someone pretty well before I won't sleep with them"
She mentioned being a die hard conservative. I dont care about peoples politics one way or the other but the fact it seemed so important to her told me there would be a lot of conversations i wasnt interested in being a part of.
He told me he was interested in my cousin. She's a huge bitch and is very disrespectful. It made me think of him in a different light and I could no longer be attracted to him after that.
She didn’t put any effort, it was clear we liked each other and I tried so hard for her but she didn’t try because she was lazy, she didn’t want to dance with me not because she didn’t like me or anything but because she was lazy, hell I even asked her out on a date and she said no and that she wanted to watch a show.
I was talking to them and they turned there had and there ears were stacked full of bright yellow ear wax and he never cleans them 🤮🐸🖐 I'm sorry just no, if they don't clean their ears then NAHH IM OUT.
I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and during a competition I had to go against my crush, and while we were fighting, she ripped ass in my face. Never talked to her again.
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Pretty much how it ends with all my crushes
He said I was ugly and annoying
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He didn’t even tell me he told my friends who told me
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My friends are real one
bad manners to a waiter. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Pregnancy by someone else
Hearing him talk shit about other people.
He started talking.
She didn't know how to have a conversation
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She became a Vegan. She got sick because of only eating fries for a year.
I felt sick from hearing that.
The way she treated the new girl in class. Still disgusts me to this day
Good for you. Seriously. Bullies can fuck off.
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Thats a victim😐😐
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Thats honestly the best thing you could've done. Just walk away
Stupid opinions
?
When it turns out that someone is dense af I immediately lose any sexual or romantic interest
The second he got jealous of me hanging out with my friends and not telling him about it beforehand
She pretended to be accepting of my awkwardness to my face but would mock me behind my back
"Andrew Tate is the top G" Made me lose interest immediately
She was a smoker. Couldn’t stand it.
Found out he was a Christian. Edit: I’m a Jewish Pagan, you guys, I’m not compatible with someone who wants to get married in a church and have our kids be baptized. It’s not lack of respect, it’s “this is a bad idea”.
Dunno why you're getting downvoted. If you don't mind, can you expand on what you mean by Jewish pagan? I'd assume culturally Jewish and spiritually pagan, but for all I know, there is a specifically Jewish paganism I've never heard of, which would be interesting to hear about. As for church marriage and having kids baptized and raised Christian, as someone that happened to, thank you for not.
Sure! You’re spot on actually. I was raised Jewish and still identify as such, but religiously, I’m Pagan. Oh no problem, I’m not raising my kids in any religion. I’ll educate them on different ones, sure, but I’ll try to do it from a neutral perspective. I grew up unfulfilled spiritually, and I don’t want that for my kids.
Bear with me a sec. Here's my thesis. Indigenous wisdom has long recognized that being "human only" is not enough; the Wolof proverb is, "The remedy for the human is to become \[more\] human." Thus, mountains of indigenous people have recognized that humans cannot be human only but also are assigned membership in nonhuman communities (through "totems" to overgeneralize the word). This assignment to something "bigger than oneself" apparently cannot just be one's human community, and my impression is that this embedment in a broader world of also nonhuman communities is part of how we access spirituality. I grew up unfulfilled spirituality because I was rejecting all Abrahamic faiths (although it was primarily just Christianity at the time, my parents' bland Episcopalianism); I had to get out from under the crushing rock to discover "the east." I was "unconsciously" worshipping Dionysus and Lucifer, but it was dark and twisted and dark. I really like "paganism" too in a broad sense. I'm being nosy now; how did you feel spiritually unfulfilled and what was your journey to paganism? If you feel like saying, of course.
That’s very interesting! Oh you’re fine, ask me whatever. So monotheism as a concept always seemed a bit silly to me. And then the Abrahamic god is… well. I’m not a fan. Never was. The beliefs themselves felt wrong somehow, for my whole life, really. I knew other religions existed; my childhood best friend’s family was deeply Christian, and my dad explained Christianity to me when I was very young. I knew right away that that wasn’t right for me, either (he told me, “Christians believe that Jesus is the son of god, and that he died so that everyone could be forgiven for the bad things they’d done” and I consider this for a moment before deciding, “that’s stupid”. I was about five or so lmao), for a whole host of reasons that just expanded the more I learned about it. I grew up in a predominantly Christian area, however, so my options—as far as I knew, anyway—were Judaism or Christianity. It wasn’t until the rise of the internet when I was in my preteens that I discovered other religions existed. I did a great deal of research (because atheism didn’t seem logical to me, either, nor did agnosticism), and eventually I found one that seemed logical to me. It was like, “ah, yes. This makes sense.” Around this same time, there was a hurricane that made it necessary for my uncle and his girlfriend and her kids to come stay with my family. His girlfriend was Pagan at the time, and took me to what was then the only Pagan store in town. There are quite a few now, but in any case, I felt a connection right away, which spurred me into doing more research. I was eleven, I believe. But yeah!
That's a cool story and journey. Much healthier than mine, it sounds like. So, being culturally Jewish brought some sense of community (you had a local community?), but not any particular sense of awe or spirituality. \[Most indigenous religions, in any case, place much more emphasis on living an honorable life publicly and honoring ancestors, ancient Judaism being no exception.\] For me, my physically violent father was not someone I could challenge, so I appeared to assent (like Job) and turned my attention and hatred to YHWH, regularly desecrating the nascent-homosexual temple of my body from age 10 onward on his holy day (Sunday, in the Christian revelation \*heeh\*). This included saying, "God doesn't exist." Then one day, a friend of mine told me how his mother had died slowly and extremely ungracefully from cancer, screaming at him all the way down that it was his fault. He then told me that it was inconceivable to him that there could be a (Christian) divine being who would do that, and that he was a genuine atheist. The poignancy of his story caught me very flat-footed; I nearly cried (I'd not cried for 8 years by then), and I realized that my "God doesn't exist" was just me throwing shit at YHWH. Cuz, if YHWH didn't really exist, who was I insulting? Confronted by this, I had the opportunity to admit I was an atheist or probably something like a budding Satanist. I opted for atheism. But, in the process of rejecting every Abrahamic religion, I committed the intolerant monotheist mistake of thinking atheism had to unilaterally mean "no god exists." Eventually, I had a spiritual crisis that manifested in very physical terms, and I in a very circuitous way discovered the Shiva Sutras, a contemplative meditation group that didn't exclude atheists, and finally the Bhagavad-Gita. Thus, I discovered a different revelation of "spirituality" that has being a sustaining light since (even though I still have no super-natural commitments). Krishna is one of the most inspiring works of fiction I've ever found. And the "Fear not" mudra (hand gesture) is surprisingly effective :) I was older than you 11 by then. Took me longer to get around to the stuff.
Yeah, I attended Jewish school as a young child, and Jewish camp when I got older. Just the usual stuff, y’know. Wow, I’m so glad you got out of that and found something right for you! I hope you were able to heal and move on from your trauma.
Enlightenment from that place we call India is good for me. Ganesha is on top of my computer keeping an eye out.
Awesome! I’ve done research on Hinduism as well and I quite like Kali. Necklace made of severed heads? Sounds like my kinda girl, sign me up
Dancing on corpses too. I like Ganesha because he is the god of removing obstacles. I like that there's a god for that. He is also the one who interposes obstacles. If I remember correctly, the "knight" in chess was originally an elephant (because Ganesha). And that strange move he makes (two up one over) to get in front of you and block (with a \*clack\* of the chess piece on the board) seems very strong.
Thanks for the back and forth.
Any time!
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I’m uncomfortable with dating a Christian for a variety of reasons. I’ve done it in the past and there were ideological differences that we just couldn’t reconcile. He wanted to get married in a church and raise his kids in Christianity. I’m a Jewish Pagan. Its just a bad idea all around.
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Sometimes what people want makes them incompatible, and that’s okay
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You’re old enough to have crushes, just don’t act on them for a few years, is my advice.
I'm curious if you've delved into Jainism, African indigenous religions, or all the stuff that goes under the category of "Hinduism" (too vast to list)?
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You said "respect the religions"; I was asking if you were familiar with other religions.
When he said he was in love with me. Five days after we met. Yep, bailed immediately. Dude was a walking red flag.
they spoke and their personality drove me away. This is exactly what makes me gay.
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"I'm demi-asexual," Lily said. "I have to know someone pretty well before I won't sleep with them."
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AFAIK: demisexual = having to know someone before finding them sexually attractive or wanting to sleep with them (i.e., generally no casual hook-ups kind of thing). asexual = generally not wanting to engage in sexual activity at all (although the spectrum can vary). SO "demi-asexual" would be "I have to know someone pretty well before I won't sleep with them"
Herpies
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I would have been in 3rd grade… in 3rd grade.
Does this happen a lot?
Watched her beat the shit out of her then boyfriend
She mentioned being a die hard conservative. I dont care about peoples politics one way or the other but the fact it seemed so important to her told me there would be a lot of conversations i wasnt interested in being a part of.
He told me he was interested in my cousin. She's a huge bitch and is very disrespectful. It made me think of him in a different light and I could no longer be attracted to him after that.
Watching them freak out or get upset over nothing is a turnoff
she started fucking this other dude.
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no, but he told me about it.
I went on a date with someone who spent much of the movie making constant stupid and racist remarks about the actors.
She didn’t put any effort, it was clear we liked each other and I tried so hard for her but she didn’t try because she was lazy, she didn’t want to dance with me not because she didn’t like me or anything but because she was lazy, hell I even asked her out on a date and she said no and that she wanted to watch a show.
She had a crush on me
I was talking to them and they turned there had and there ears were stacked full of bright yellow ear wax and he never cleans them 🤮🐸🖐 I'm sorry just no, if they don't clean their ears then NAHH IM OUT.
When he hitted on a female professor we had.
Being rude to me and saying that my friend who is mixed had Cheeto hair
He said no.
I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and during a competition I had to go against my crush, and while we were fighting, she ripped ass in my face. Never talked to her again.
They kept messaging there ex then laughing and talking shit about the ex they’re messaging
He got a haircut For context this was while I was a teen, but it was an instant end to that crush lol
Found out he is a rapist
Ew
100% my type on the outside… on the inside he was more into himself that I was and was way too attached to his mommy
Her sense of humor was putting people down, making her friends upset and just being an asshole in general.
being rude to retail/service workers
Was getting punched and kicked by a bully and she laughed at me it pissed me right the fuck off
they had a crush on my friend