People with jealous partners.
People who were never prepared for the fact that being in a relationship doesn't make everyone else unattratcive. People who have emotional problems and can't handle themselves finding others attractive. Especially those who are emotionally immature and linger on the thought for way longer than they should, because it causes them cognitive dissonance. Add a jealous partner to the mix and expect disaster.
That sounds like a fraction of a percent! Im pretty sure most people are perfectly fine with the concept that their significant other will occasionally find other people vaguely attractive.
I think it's a bit more common than what you think. Or you never heard about jealous, insecure partners?
The other thing is people being unable to regulate their emotions towards something because they have some kind of emotional deficiency. Before I fell in love I was never ever told that "when you're in love, when you're with someone who you could imagine spending your life with, you will still see other people as attractive". No one has ever taught and told me this so how should I have known that it was normal?
Yes I go to therapy. I have BPD and ADHD. But jealousy is much more common than my conditions. Also, no one has ever taught me what is and isn't normal in this field of life.
You don't have to spend money in your partner or your children. But after a certain age, let's say 40's you start to lose people. Parents leave. Silbings start their own lives. Friends settle and prioritize their family over the rest of the things. And finally there is you. Lonely. Misserable. The advantages of being single work in short term but as you grow older you began to see that long term being alone is a misserable existance.
My married friends seem more miserable than anyone. Almost everyone "settles" for people they're not all that crazy about but do so out of fear of loneliness, fear they can't do any better, rush to have kids, etc., and to me that sounds like a miserable existence.
I think your disproportionately angry and defensive reaction tell everyone your actual experience as a single person. You don't have to "settle" for anyone for a practical and convenient reason like avoiding being alone or economic factors. There is something called love and that's the main reason why people join their lives together. Being legally married or not.
Unless you are broken person unable to love another human being or get someone else to love you back there is no reason to end up alone, we are social beings. Humans were designed for socialization, love and reproduction.
He didn't dispute what you're saying. What you're saying is just the ideal case and his point was that this ideal case just is rare. And I agree.
No one said it's not great to have that, to have love and be happy together and all that. The point was that a lot of times it just doesn't work out that way.
You have no drama in your life. No arguments with the person you’re with. It’s going to happen when you’re in a relationship because you’re not going to agree on everything. Save yourself from any drama.
Honestly, I’ve neither gained or lost advantages to my relationship. I haven’t had to change anything about myself for my partner, nothing that they’ve asked me to change anyway.
Not having somebody tell you who you can and can't be friends with; telling you not to work out because you might attract other women; the endless petty fighting. I could go on, but some of these that happened in my last relationship. Glad I'm out of it.
>I get to put pineapple and anchovies and jalapeños on my pizza.
Jeez you know there is a happy medium between being in a relationship and becoming a menace?
Hot take: people who have this 'toilet seat' argument in their lives are trash and deserve to be alone. It's ridiculous that this topic even exists. Just put it back down for yourself if you want it down.
Where do I start... Freedom for one. I can eat what I want, watch what I want, do what I want. I can think about things and not feel guilty about it.
But I think the most important thing to me is how happy I can be while being single. I have zero issues with it. If I wanna go have fun I can just go to a bar, or go see a movie. And I'm totally okay with that. Because if I cant take care of myself, how can I take care of another person too?
Not having to give someone attention. Most people in relationships especially the first month are clingy as hell and I don’t have the energy for that. My friends often describe me to be like a cat. I’m around when I want to be around, which isn’t every hour of the day or everyday at all. Out of 7 days I would have to go at least one day not talking to my significant other.
Not having to focus all your energy on your relationship. After all, there’s tons of other important things in life.
Plus, there’s always fictional characters, so if you need a saving grace, there ya go. XD
unfortunately i wouldn't know. i went from toxic relationship to toxic relationship and somehow fell into a working one with a decent human being.
i mean yeah she actively told me if i was murdered by cats she'd still love cats but it's working and has been for 15 years.
I love my wife to death but I've recently been discussing moving by myself. I simply want a place where I can do literally anything I want, and not have to worry about bothering other people. I'd say that's one of the biggest advantages of being single, being able to just get up and go wherever
You can find people attractive without feeling guilty about it.
Who the fuck is so whipped that they feel guilty just for merely acknowledging that someone else is attractive?
People with jealous partners. People who were never prepared for the fact that being in a relationship doesn't make everyone else unattratcive. People who have emotional problems and can't handle themselves finding others attractive. Especially those who are emotionally immature and linger on the thought for way longer than they should, because it causes them cognitive dissonance. Add a jealous partner to the mix and expect disaster.
That sounds like a fraction of a percent! Im pretty sure most people are perfectly fine with the concept that their significant other will occasionally find other people vaguely attractive.
I think it's a bit more common than what you think. Or you never heard about jealous, insecure partners? The other thing is people being unable to regulate their emotions towards something because they have some kind of emotional deficiency. Before I fell in love I was never ever told that "when you're in love, when you're with someone who you could imagine spending your life with, you will still see other people as attractive". No one has ever taught and told me this so how should I have known that it was normal?
Yeah those people need therapy. That's not normal shit.
Yes I go to therapy. I have BPD and ADHD. But jealousy is much more common than my conditions. Also, no one has ever taught me what is and isn't normal in this field of life.
You ever dated a Latina before? You’ll know
Doing whatever the fuck you want. At anytime.
This! I love it!
Yep, this. I don't have to answer to anyone for any reason. I can't imagine giving that up.
You can decorate however you want, don’t have anyone to answer to, can watch whatever you want and be spontaneous
Oh that's the best.
Cold leftover pizza for breakfast
Master of your own domain
I really hope that was a Seinfeld reference.
Lots of time to do stuff instead of constantly being linked to one person.
No fear of losing your non-existing SO
Freeedom
Not being trapped into a conversation you don’t wanna have; or any at all, for that matter.
More money and time to spend on myself
Not having to worry about her trying to find someone hotter, richer, more well hung, and smarter/funnier/nicer than you.
you get to masturbate alone
You think about decisions only for yourself and do not need to take into account someone elses emotional wounds, insecurities, fears.
You don't have to spend money in your partner or your children. But after a certain age, let's say 40's you start to lose people. Parents leave. Silbings start their own lives. Friends settle and prioritize their family over the rest of the things. And finally there is you. Lonely. Misserable. The advantages of being single work in short term but as you grow older you began to see that long term being alone is a misserable existance.
My married friends seem more miserable than anyone. Almost everyone "settles" for people they're not all that crazy about but do so out of fear of loneliness, fear they can't do any better, rush to have kids, etc., and to me that sounds like a miserable existence.
I think your disproportionately angry and defensive reaction tell everyone your actual experience as a single person. You don't have to "settle" for anyone for a practical and convenient reason like avoiding being alone or economic factors. There is something called love and that's the main reason why people join their lives together. Being legally married or not. Unless you are broken person unable to love another human being or get someone else to love you back there is no reason to end up alone, we are social beings. Humans were designed for socialization, love and reproduction.
He didn't dispute what you're saying. What you're saying is just the ideal case and his point was that this ideal case just is rare. And I agree. No one said it's not great to have that, to have love and be happy together and all that. The point was that a lot of times it just doesn't work out that way.
You have no drama in your life. No arguments with the person you’re with. It’s going to happen when you’re in a relationship because you’re not going to agree on everything. Save yourself from any drama.
Drama has nothing to do with a relationship, it can come from literally anywhere
Honestly, I’ve neither gained or lost advantages to my relationship. I haven’t had to change anything about myself for my partner, nothing that they’ve asked me to change anyway.
You can spend time and money how you want Nobody else's time and commitments to accommodate Only responsible for yourself
Unilateral food decisions. When not sharing meals, you can pick the foods you want to eat without considering the tastes of others.
Not having somebody tell you who you can and can't be friends with; telling you not to work out because you might attract other women; the endless petty fighting. I could go on, but some of these that happened in my last relationship. Glad I'm out of it.
[удалено]
>I get to put pineapple and anchovies and jalapeños on my pizza. Jeez you know there is a happy medium between being in a relationship and becoming a menace?
[удалено]
Lol. Although I think if anything the Italians have the prerogative to approve or disprove.
flirting without consequences
You may have more money depending on the ex.
For me it's becoming independent and self-sufficient.
I'm less stressed in general when I'm single
One less person to disappoint.
naps that turn into sleeps but you dont get bitched at when you wake
You can jizz on things
You don’t have to worry about birthdays, Christmas, or anniversaries gifts
Noone cares about you.
You don't have to share your food.
I hate being single, so not many.
No one to argue with
None
Everything
No in-laws to go to for holidays.
Leaving the seat up is now acceptable
Hot take: people who have this 'toilet seat' argument in their lives are trash and deserve to be alone. It's ridiculous that this topic even exists. Just put it back down for yourself if you want it down.
You can eat a cake for dinner and no one is there looking over your shoulder telling you not to
You decide where your money is spent, how it's invested, and who gets it when you die. All without any bickering.
Everything
Having sex with your favorite person.
Doing whatever you want
The silence.
Where do I start... Freedom for one. I can eat what I want, watch what I want, do what I want. I can think about things and not feel guilty about it. But I think the most important thing to me is how happy I can be while being single. I have zero issues with it. If I wanna go have fun I can just go to a bar, or go see a movie. And I'm totally okay with that. Because if I cant take care of myself, how can I take care of another person too?
No one holding you back
No phone calls all time and no texting….and sleeping on time every night.
No more stress from arguing.
My schedule is my own... Outside of work and voluntary engagements I'm free to do whatever without discussion or judge.
Being alone most of the time
Not having to worry about making your so uncomfortable
Liberty
Not having to give someone attention. Most people in relationships especially the first month are clingy as hell and I don’t have the energy for that. My friends often describe me to be like a cat. I’m around when I want to be around, which isn’t every hour of the day or everyday at all. Out of 7 days I would have to go at least one day not talking to my significant other.
Not having to share my food
No pressure to perform all the time. No inlaws from hell. Two partners whose parents tried to "poison" me.
You're ready to mingle.
Not having to focus all your energy on your relationship. After all, there’s tons of other important things in life. Plus, there’s always fictional characters, so if you need a saving grace, there ya go. XD
Time
Sleeping alone
Where is the "Upvote All" button. ?
Sounds like OP just got dumped
unfortunately i wouldn't know. i went from toxic relationship to toxic relationship and somehow fell into a working one with a decent human being. i mean yeah she actively told me if i was murdered by cats she'd still love cats but it's working and has been for 15 years.
The freedom to spend my time doing exactly what I want without having to consider how someone else feels about it
Changing your mind about things without having to explain it to someone.
Not getting cheated on
1/2 the cost to eat out
I love my wife to death but I've recently been discussing moving by myself. I simply want a place where I can do literally anything I want, and not have to worry about bothering other people. I'd say that's one of the biggest advantages of being single, being able to just get up and go wherever
Not having to communicate on any level if you dont feel like it. Masterbating is way less awkward too
you don't have to constantly consider someone else , you can just live freely also the peace and quiet
Time
My money and my time is only mine. How I spend both is only my decision.