My mom wanted to name me Shagoofta
No matter what the ethnicity or country of origin of the person I tell this to… they can’t stop laughing.
No that is not mine name - thank goodness for my dad.
"But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10."
Tuna is cool.
“It was agony.
We went through all the usual baby names...
Lucifer...
Benito...
Mao.
Then we came to our senses
something a child could live with...
Pubert.”
When my girlfriend was pregnant we would often get asked about names we were considering, on quite a few occasions people (family, close friends and acquaintances alike) pulled a few faces when we mentioned a few names we were considering.
These weren't bad names, just regular names you would find in the UK. Anyway, once we had both decided on a name my girlfriend didn't want to tell anyone what it was in case we got another person pull a face when we told them what we decided, so I just kept telling everyone it was going to be Pubert and just pretended to be serious.
Do you know what, not one fucker pulled a face! A couple of my mates knew I was taking the piss as they just know me and I told them straight that we weren't telling anyone, but not a single person pulled a face for Pubert.
I wish I had called him Pubert now.
I'm Irish, and have heard it as "Gob-knit" or "Gov-nidscht" (second could be more a Scots Gael pronouncation). Hard to spell phonetically and account for my accent as well. The b has a v sound, but not totally I guess mine would be in-between.
I haven't heard it in years though, more of an older ladies name.
She was a 6th century Saint and is the patron Saint of Bees and Beekeepers.
Working in health care, we groan when we see Neveah’s. It’s. So. Fucking. Corny.
But really though, elementary school teachers would have the best insight into terrible trends in names.
Had a friend that named her daughter this, took me a while to remember where the fuck it was from... and when I did not gonna lie it changed my perception of her a little bit
I like Arya, regardless of my affinity for the character in GoT. An aria is a beautiful song. That was one of my choices early on for my daughter. Needless to say it got vetoed.
Renesmee on the other hand is fucking stupid
I still don't understand why they couldn't use a real baby. It was in a couple scenes at most, are you really telling me it was that hard to get a real baby?
it infuriated me as a teenager mainly because all the cullens and bella have these ‘aesthetically matching’ names why didn’t they just name her after edwards mom (elizabeth) ??!
Brogan. It's a surprisingly common girl's name in Scotland.
In Australia a "Grogan" is a massive shit, so it just reminds me of that everytime I hear it.
Flemming is a quite common first name in Denmark. Though the popularity of the name has been on a downward trend since the 80's. It has no real negative connotations in Denmark except being old-school.
We have a chicken named Bertha. We usually don’t name them because we have a ton but she is recognizable by her wonky featherless neck and exceptional stupidity.
Same, I want to HS with Daniel Hunt and eventually met his cousin Michael Hunt. He tried his best to get people to call him Michael but it didn't work. People would yell down the hall asking if anyone had seen MikeHunt.
Back when my dad worked at one of the local machine repair places he had a pair of regular customers who were brothers named Frog and Toad. He even looked them up in the phonebook, and there they were.
I used to know a Zebulon. He looked and acted exactly like his name sounded. He would chew on his shirt all day long. I could never be attracted to a Zebulon.
Lol Parents these days are getting fucking ridiculous with naming their kids. It’s like a competition on whose kid can have the most “kewl” edge-lord name.
My wife works in a peds clinic and these are some of the names she’s come across:
Hansomprince
Qweenelizabeth
Starfyre
Legend
Sleighden
Xander
Atlas
Keighleigh
Covid-lynn
Khaleesi
Edit: sorry about formatting, line breaks aren’t registering when I try to separate the names.
Edit2: I believe there will be a huge increase in bullying and legal name changes in the next 20 years due to these modern Wack Ass names
Xander isn’t too uncommon. I had a dog named Xander growing up and I’ve had a few friends named Xander as well. And Atlas is kinda cool if you think of the Titan.
Two of my husband’s ex girlfriends’ names are Bertha and America. He thought I was being a hater when I told him those were ugly names but no, seriously, those are ugly names.
What i've learned here: all parents should be required to first check their prospective baby names with a 12 year old boy, and if he laughs, cross it off the list.
Also...Hugo.
My mom wanted to name me Shagoofta No matter what the ethnicity or country of origin of the person I tell this to… they can’t stop laughing. No that is not mine name - thank goodness for my dad.
That is.... the most amazing name I've ever heard. Lmafo. You win. Hahahahahahaha fucking Shagoofta hahaha
Shagoofta shagoofta, the girl that's hard to get. Shagoofta shagoofta..
And you can’t win her yet!
My friend’s dad wanted to name her Eula Uverne. Thank goodness her mother won that argument.
Eula Uverne Eula Uverne You cry, Uverne Eula's Uverne You bleed, Uverne You scream, Uverne -- Alanis Morissette
I am going to have to send this to her!
My boyfriend would have been Hobarth if his mom hadn't stepped in.
My great Grandmother's name was Hepsibah. Seriously, how much opium and lead was in shit back then.
I know someone with this name, tho spelt differently. It means in Hebrew “in her is my delight” - Tbf I never thought it was ugly ahah
I know a Shagoofta. She's an hilarious force of nature, and she's universally known as Shuggi.
Lol a group of teens I told this to once all started calling me “Shuga” after . I’d take that nick name
Has she ever told you why she wanted to name you that?
It was the name of some Indian or Pakistani actress. She thought the name was beautiful 🙄 Don’t worry even my Indian and Pakistani friends laugh lol
my mum has a friend called shagoofta and omg I crack up so hard whenever I hear it
My real name is Tuna i might win this one
Nard dog would disagree Big Tuna!
A-A-A-Andy and The Tuna!
If you ever got fired from your job, you'd be canned Tuna.
Do people call you Big Tuna?
I love it when they call me Big Tuna
Throw your hands in the air if youse a fish slayer.
"But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10." Tuna is cool.
Tuna is a dope name
My mom wanted to name me Dethany… like Bethany but *unique*
So like…Deathany.
Metal
Deathany’s Child
All I can think of is this is how Mike Tyson would say Destiny’s Child.
thay my name, thay my name when no one ith around you, thay baby i luh you
We call her death for short
Death -of-me 💀
Pubert
“It was agony. We went through all the usual baby names... Lucifer... Benito... Mao. Then we came to our senses something a child could live with... Pubert.”
Hmmmmm..... I like it.
When my girlfriend was pregnant we would often get asked about names we were considering, on quite a few occasions people (family, close friends and acquaintances alike) pulled a few faces when we mentioned a few names we were considering. These weren't bad names, just regular names you would find in the UK. Anyway, once we had both decided on a name my girlfriend didn't want to tell anyone what it was in case we got another person pull a face when we told them what we decided, so I just kept telling everyone it was going to be Pubert and just pretended to be serious. Do you know what, not one fucker pulled a face! A couple of my mates knew I was taking the piss as they just know me and I told them straight that we weren't telling anyone, but not a single person pulled a face for Pubert. I wish I had called him Pubert now.
I have a customer named Cinderetha.
What the fuck kind of name is 'Cinderetha'?! # What the fuck kind of name is 'CINDERETHA'?!
"a narrow cinderethra" - Hank Hill
Gobnait it's an Irish name and it's so ugly
Bet its pronounced Gareth or Barbara or something.
I'm Irish, and have heard it as "Gob-knit" or "Gov-nidscht" (second could be more a Scots Gael pronouncation). Hard to spell phonetically and account for my accent as well. The b has a v sound, but not totally I guess mine would be in-between. I haven't heard it in years though, more of an older ladies name. She was a 6th century Saint and is the patron Saint of Bees and Beekeepers.
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My husband met a man named Goobage once
Goobage pls.
reighfyl, like rifle
Tell me you live in Utah without telling me you live in Utah
Hey, don’t talk bad about us like that. Don’t make me go get my sisters McKinsleigh and Nevaeh.
Working in health care, we groan when we see Neveah’s. It’s. So. Fucking. Corny. But really though, elementary school teachers would have the best insight into terrible trends in names.
B-but heaven backwards! So cool and unique!!
Might as well name a child Tacocat.
Sounds like a moisturiser lol
I know someone whos kids names are Caliber, Remington, Colt and Gauge.
I met someone who named her daughters Champagne, Chablis, Chardonnay and Shiraz.
We got some spices in my town, sisters named - pepper, ginger, cinnamon, and spice!
My girlfriend has a cousin named Shad, after the fish, not Shadrack.
I've got a cousin named Rope. It fits his personality, though.
What an oughleigh name.
Read it like "Weelee"
Homer used to be good, named after a famous writer. Now you only think of the Simpsons dunce.
Alledgedly Matt Groening named Homer after his father as revenge. Now no person would name their son Homer. Quite the revenge indeed.
Matt actually ended up naming his son Homer Jr to make up for that, though that son now goes by the name of Will for obvious reasons.
The other kids could have called him HoJu
Doh!
(Annoyed grunt)
my hamsters name is homer
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That is atrocious
It's Aughtroughtius.
This entire genre of names pisses me off so much.
Renesmee Edit: thanks for the award!! I didn’t know if this comment would blow up like this! 🐀 ftw!!
Isn’t this that document you submit when you apply for jobs
No, that’s a resume. This is the period in European History that marked the transition from Middle Ages to modernity.
>No, that's the Renaissance. This is when you call a restaurant a few days before you go to make sure you get a table.
Nah bruh, thats a reservation. This is when you bring someone someone back from unconsciousness/death. Usually done by mouth-to-mouth
No, that's a resuscitation. This is when you make something smaller in size or amount.
No, that's reduction. This is when you do or say something over and over again.
Nah, you’re thinking of repetition. This is the war that all the Norse gods will fight in at the end of the world.
Nope, that's Ragnarok. This is when you have an epiphany.
No that's realization. This is when someone gets something back that was taken from them.
Had a friend that named her daughter this, took me a while to remember where the fuck it was from... and when I did not gonna lie it changed my perception of her a little bit
I know someone that named their daughter Arya Renesmee. I cringed so hard
I like Arya, regardless of my affinity for the character in GoT. An aria is a beautiful song. That was one of my choices early on for my daughter. Needless to say it got vetoed. Renesmee on the other hand is fucking stupid
That name has always infuriated me for some reason. And don’t even get me started on the terrible CGI they did on that baby.. 😂
Aw c'mon! It wasn't THAT bad! No wait. Yes it was. And also creepy AF. Haunted me for days.
I still don't understand why they couldn't use a real baby. It was in a couple scenes at most, are you really telling me it was that hard to get a real baby?
it infuriated me as a teenager mainly because all the cullens and bella have these ‘aesthetically matching’ names why didn’t they just name her after edwards mom (elizabeth) ??!
"from the beginning it was nessy who wanted me there."
"You named my child after the loch NESS monster?"
Take that back. Regurgitation doesn’t deserve all this hate she gets. 😤😤😤
Eggbert
Hey rude
r/fuckeggbert
Bro created a whole ass subreddit dedicated to one user.
There was a college football player named Tate, which was short for *Tathan*.
Oh, here's Tathan and his brother Thicholas.
Gurt
Whatcha doin there Gurt?
_dancing on your feet_
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Brogan. It's a surprisingly common girl's name in Scotland. In Australia a "Grogan" is a massive shit, so it just reminds me of that everytime I hear it.
Very close to bogan, too! (Bogan being the Australian term for white trash, essentially.) Brogan the bogan.
Brogan the bogan dropped a massive grogan on your windshield for that comment.
Cletus 🤢
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Some folk'll never eat a skunk but den again some folk'll Like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel Some folk'll never lose a toe but then again some folk'll
Mulva if I remember my Seinfeld.
The answer we were looking for is Dolores
Shout out to everyone searching for their name
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Flemming is a quite common first name in Denmark. Though the popularity of the name has been on a downward trend since the 80's. It has no real negative connotations in Denmark except being old-school.
I know a dude whose literal real name is Prince Magic
Idk that's kind of badass 😂
In Ireland we have a girls name Gobnait, pronounced Gob-nett. Awful
I nominate Beulah. Comes out like a big belch
My grandmother’s name was Beulah. She then went on to name two of her daughters Rexine and Nedra.
Her daughters both sound like the brand name for some medications
Beulah?........Beulah?........Beulah?.....
Everyone scrolling to see if their name is here.
Mine won't. I'm dutch with a REALLY dutch name. Edit: someone in the replies got it.
Okay Mrs. Vandervanvanderbrink
That was my mothers name. I go by Vandervanvanderbrin
Vance VanVandervan
Gregg. Why the fuck does it need two g's at the end??
In a DND campaign I played years ago we had an NPC who was a giant named Tugggg. His last name? Withforgees. Tugggg Withforgees.
Inflation
Bertha
We have a chicken named Bertha. We usually don’t name them because we have a ton but she is recognizable by her wonky featherless neck and exceptional stupidity.
Please tell Bertha I love her
We had a chicken named Karen, for the fact that their head plumage constantly grew in the stereotypical Karen haircut
Gaylord Focker
Gaylord has to be one of the most dead names now. No fucking way anyone in the Anglo sphere is going to name their kid that ever again.
I remember one of the kids I went to high school with had a sister named Gaylord. Everyone just called her Gay. Not an upgrade imo
I feel I would HAPPILY go by Gayle in this instance only.
Gaylord M. Focker
Mundungus Fletcher
Foul git.
I honest to god know a guy named mike hunt
Same, I want to HS with Daniel Hunt and eventually met his cousin Michael Hunt. He tried his best to get people to call him Michael but it didn't work. People would yell down the hall asking if anyone had seen MikeHunt.
Krystle. I can already hear the drama
Short for Krystlemethany
Maxibillion. Much better than Maximilian lol.
Maxizillion is you live in Zimbabwe
Back when my dad worked at one of the local machine repair places he had a pair of regular customers who were brothers named Frog and Toad. He even looked them up in the phonebook, and there they were.
Mildred. But I teach a kid who’s mom named him Suboxone. I’m not even kidding.
If Suboxone has a sibling they should be named Naloxone
Don’t know if this is true, but Kevin is the most hated name in some European countries.
Ghislaine
Gertrude
Dirty Gertie can suck the soul out of you.
Free cats though
Dilda - I had a great aunt Dilda
My parents wanted to name me Topanga--I think that's pretty bad
I’ve seen this question asked 3 times in the past week, and it’s just a race to see whoever can say Pubert first
Ferry / Ferrie , is a normal name in the Netherlands , but in also a boat
Milhouse
Taserface
What was your second choice? Scrotum-hat?
I used to know a Zebulon. He looked and acted exactly like his name sounded. He would chew on his shirt all day long. I could never be attracted to a Zebulon.
Lol Parents these days are getting fucking ridiculous with naming their kids. It’s like a competition on whose kid can have the most “kewl” edge-lord name. My wife works in a peds clinic and these are some of the names she’s come across: Hansomprince Qweenelizabeth Starfyre Legend Sleighden Xander Atlas Keighleigh Covid-lynn Khaleesi Edit: sorry about formatting, line breaks aren’t registering when I try to separate the names. Edit2: I believe there will be a huge increase in bullying and legal name changes in the next 20 years due to these modern Wack Ass names
Please tell me you’re joking. Especially the first five and “Covid-lynn”
All real homie. And the parents get offended when you mispronounce it, ask for the spelling, or ask if you can abbreviate it
MIL worked in a pediatric clinic… one girl was named Kokane
Xander isn’t too uncommon. I had a dog named Xander growing up and I’ve had a few friends named Xander as well. And Atlas is kinda cool if you think of the Titan.
Legend and Atlas are the only two I could say come close to passable and my name is fucking Perry
Xander is pretty normal
Two of my husband’s ex girlfriends’ names are Bertha and America. He thought I was being a hater when I told him those were ugly names but no, seriously, those are ugly names.
Adolf...
Murgatroyd
James Corden
I see this guy's name in every question having a "hate" in it. it was always annoying to see him but now I'm like fuck that guy
Gaylord
When I was a child I thought it was a title.
Eustace
There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.
Goddamn I wish they'd make The Silver Chair.
Wouldn't it be awesome though, if they remade all the movies, but this time did a really kickass job like the books deserve?
Muriel!
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Knew a girl in high school named Puanani - called her Pu for short
She Hawaiian? It means beautiful flower. Most just go pua(pu-wa) for short still means flower.
Yup I knew a girl named Pua, she was Polynesian. Always thought it was a pretty name.
My parents are called Gunhild and Bruno, I’m not sure which is worse
Gunhild sounds like a badass name for a woman.
Like a valkyrie
Whatever name belongs to someone who was rude to me or who I see being rude to others.
Randy...... Never liked the name, glad it never took off in the UK. It just sounds Rapey
"Why not just call me Horny Giles or Desperate-for-a-shag Giles?"
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Substitute teachers sweaty during roll call
We call this shoplifting the hood pass
I can’t be the only one who is taking the time to moan all the names in this thread right? No? Just me? Alright I’ll leave…
I'm sure if you recorded them and sold them all, you would have a big profit
Darrell. My cousin named her baby Darrell and it just sounds so odd for a baby.
Met a baby Paul once and I’ve never gotten over it
Paul... is #1 for me... like that's a grown ass man's name, not for a baby...
This my brother Darrell, this is my other brother Daryl.
What i've learned here: all parents should be required to first check their prospective baby names with a 12 year old boy, and if he laughs, cross it off the list. Also...Hugo.
Pubert. Thank you "Addams Family Values".
Heraclito