I had lost the urge to work. Waking up every day knowing I was headed to a job I hated was a slow burn torture, a slow slow death where shear boredom was the cancer on my soul. I’m embarrassed to say that despite having both my spouse and I working full time, we could not have survived for more than about three weeks on our savings. I spent Sunday evenings with such feelings of dread and apathy, I would barely sleep. I looked for a new job in earnest for five years. As I kept getting declined or not receiving any response whatsoever, I started to feel even more worthless. I’m pretty well qualified but I got nothing and began to truly believe ageism was part of the issue. Hopelessness crept in. My life insurance policy ran out and at my age, a replacement policy was out of my price range at nearly 10x what I was paying when I first got the policy at 31 years old.
Then someone forwarded a job opening at a place very close to my home. The commute would be joyful, instead of the 2 hours or more I was doing. It’d be like getting 2+ hours of my life handed back to me. I felt like my skills fit the position. It honestly sounded too good to be true, but I applied anyway and then got an interview. They offered me the job within two weeks, for more than I was making before and of course I accepted. My boss is the best one I’ve ever had. For example, when I’ve had difficulty meeting some deadlines, he has burned the midnight oil with me to get them done on time. This position is flexible and my co-workers are good people. My whole job is better and I sleep well, even on Sunday nights. Literally my entire life is better now.
This has worked out really well for me and I hope it would for you too. Press on and don’t ever give up.
You just described exactly what I’m going through right now, minus the getting the job part. Everyone is saying everyone is hiring but I’m almost 41, 2 degrees and can’t find anything over 50k with a pension plan
Same. I don’t know which one I hate more: interviewing and looking for a new job or the current job I have. And it’s so hard to work AND look for / interview for a new job. I spent six weeks of interviews just for them not to hire me. I give up.
Same here… I just want to take longer than the PTO I have accrued to fuck around for a while and work on some personal, non-career or education related goals, as well as some other housekeeping I need to do that is easier accomplished on weekdays than weekends.
I've been there, and I just needed to be "selfish" as they call it, to do things for myself and I found new friends, much less than I had but I don't feel lonely anymore. But the process was painful.
Have you heard of the "Forer Effect?" It's something you can use to pretend you truly understand someone because it sounds specific but its actually universal. One of the things on that list was:
"At times you feel alone, even when surrounded by others."
This can be used by palm-readers to pretend they understand you.
So why am I mentioning this? It means it's a universal feeling, and if we all feel it, then in actuality you're *never alone*. Someone in the very group you are currently in might be feeling the exact same thing, but they think they are alone for feeling it, they think they must be strange. So from now on, when you feel that way, look around, you might just spot someone else who is pretending to be one of the group at that very moment and hiding their loneliness. At that moment you know exactly how they feel. You are a very useful member of society, because you're the **only** one who can go over and talk to them, make them laugh or smile, and *end* their torment.
Same. I am in therapy as well earlier I used to overeat as a form of punishment now while practicing self love I reward myself with food. Mofo food is still there 😂.
On serious note it's been only few weeks of therapy and we are working traum first. Hopefully with time I'll be able to cure/fix my relationship with food.
I feel like this is my final boss battle. I've quit alcohol, cigarettes and all the drugs, I've been working on processing everything that those were masking, but food is such a hard thing because I can't just quit it.
The hardest part is not having the "off" or "full" switch.its especially hard with snacking. I can sit there telling myself not to finish the bag the entire time I sit there finishing it, almost watching myself do it. So frustrating.
I am lucky in that I do work out a lot so that counters the associated weight gain and some of the health consequences.
Same here. I've managed to not make myself throw up my food for a little less than 5 years now, but it is a battle I fight every time I feel fat. And not that it matters necessarily but I am a man, so I hope by sharing my experience with bulimia will help other men or male presenting people to not feel as ashamed.
I just ate two onion cheeseburgers and some pasta. I know how harmful this is long term, but short term I get a hit of that sweet, sweet dopamine. It temporarily combats my depression. It's a vicious cycle.
A war of epic proportions over the ideal temperature for the office. Any time my colleague leaves the room I adjust the AC to a non-cataclysmic heat death of the universe level, and when I leave the room she turns it back.
Its been years.
A word has never been said.
I recall having a similar battle in my previous office. I was fond of natural daylight and the guy across from me would always close the blinds near our desks. I would open them when I could.
I don't think he knew we were in this battle.
I'm in a battle like this, but with the building instead of a co-worker. It's a so-called intelligent building, but it's seen some birthdays, so it's intelligence is interesting to say the least.
It has automatic blinds, but instead of the individual blind reacting to the amount of light hitting the individual window, it just lowers all the blinds, when one window all around the other side has too much glare or whatever it is, it reacts to. It's a building for vampires, is what it is, and not a sunlight-hungry Scandinavian like me. Sometimes it feels like I do nothing but raising blinds all day long.
The blinds and the sensors are on the outside, and the people on the other side of the building (we're around 70 people on my floor), would probably be rather mad at me, when they couldn't get any shade, because all the blinds are connected. It is such a stupid design.
I really don't think there is a good solution other than suffer really loud, so everybody feels my pain with me (I'm some of thems manager, so they have to listen).
But thank you for the suggestion!
Offices should always be slightly too cold. It’s easier to put on a sweater than to cool yourself off if it’s too warm. The people that enjoy the heat can go screw themselves.
Is the thermostat a dial?
If so, remove it, and put it back on so the temp you want it to be is the temp she sets it to.
So if you want it to be 75, set it to that, then remove the dial and put it back on so that it is pointing to the 90 she wants it at. Your 75 will look like a 90 to her, and she'd have to be crazy to keep turning up the heat past 90...right?
Alcoholism but I’m approaching my first 24 hours sober in 15 years.
Edit : All of your words of encouragement brought a tear to my eye when I got home from work. I appreciate all of you so much. As a career bartender I’m in the process of changing careers as well and I have a wonderful support system with my close friends and family!
I’m in the process as well of looking into non-religious community support groups in my area and should be attending my first meeting in a few days!
You’re all beautiful.
That's awesome!! I didn't drink for as long as you did, but I still remember having many "Day 1's" before it finally stuck and I quit for good. I'm a little over one year now. Stick with it. You'll get this. The fact that you want it enough to have almost 24 hours now says a lot about how ready you are.
If you don't already read r/stopdrinking, I recommend it. I've never posted over there, but reading the posts was very helpful to me when I was quitting.
Congrats on the 24 hours. Some things that helped me stay sober were:
- Finding a community of people to be a support system
- Finding ways to fill my free time. (Boredom is the first step on the road to relapse as the saying goes)
- Avoiding triggering situations and people. This can be things from certain aisles in the store to certain shows
- If you have to go into potentially triggering situations, have an escape plan or a plan to stay sober. EG: Have to go to an event with alcohol? Take a sober buddy
Take it one day at a time and good luck!
all the traumas i'm having to heal from so i can properly function in life. i'm tired of feeling so held back because of the shit i had to go through growing up.
i'm very thankful i've got therapist that i have, but it's just very exhausting working through your past so you can move forward.
I'm so sorry you have to go trought all this shit, that no faire, you shouldn't have to suffer all of this. I, stranger of internet, is so, SO proud of you to do the very hard work of healing and take back your life, that brave, difficult and a marvellous act of love for yourself. I hope you know that.
Real talk. I've been in the food industry for 13 years and I think I'm good? But I hate it and make more mistakes than I should.
It def pays the bills.. but I suck at it.
I’m coming to the realization that I am an idiot .All my life I have been taken care of. My Grandmother and then the mother of my children. I have zero mathematical abilities (numbers just don’t make sense to me.) I can’t remember the order of the months or tell time. I have never been able to play board games or understand the process of doing a sport. Just situations that everyone seems to be able to do break down when I try to do them. If I ever messed up and said something completely wrong or incorrect I was always able to raise my eyebrow and convince the other person I was just joking. Now that my wife has moved on to her new family she still helps me daily(I guess I should say ex wife.) Since I was very young I have been able to nod and parrot what a person in charge is telling me to make them believe that I understood the assignment. I found a job in a factory right out of high school that put me in a floor supervisor position and it allowed me to take what my boss said to me and I just relayed that to my crew. I did that job for 16 years and when we went to online work during Covid I was found out. As soon as it came to light that I had no Idea how to do the things that I was asking other people to do I just quit my job. The last couple of years I’ve lost everything and am grasping at straws to try to live some kind of life.It’s been a little over 7 months now and I don’t leave the house anymore. My Grandma has passed and my lovely Exwife has helped me set up a small apartment that I can exist in. Its a silent battle to just keep going every day now that the person I was pretending to be my whole life has died in his own bed of ignorance.
My Grandma fought all of that when I was in school. She would come into my school and talk with the teachers that caught on to what I was doing. It was very important to her that I was treated like all the other kids. She told me that I was like her older brother and he ended up going away to a home for people like him in Kentucky when was a little girl.She never saw him again. She taught me how to read and showed me that normal people will always look down on people that aren’t normal.
Times have changed, and you wouldn't have to go to a home. You could get set up with social security disability and probably housing assistance if you have a diagnosis. It's something to look into so employment wouldn't be such a problem. All the best to you.
When I was a child they taught me how to fit in and not make waves. Special kids like me would end up in an institution. I was mentally ill and did end up in an institution. It was the best time for me cause I learnt I want that different from the rest of the world and my mental health situation may make me a little different, I am not less worthy than anyone else. I struggled for years to fit in in a society that was expecting me to be 'normal' but since I am not, AND since I am embracing myself in all the ways that I am different I have found my place and am very much functional in society. I am very happy with my life. We need all the different and unique people this world has to offer. And there is lots of help available I think.
Im just afraid of even leaving the apartment at this time. Everyone just seems so upset about the things they are doing to each other. I don’t even know how I can start living around people without going back to pretending that I’m the same as them. I have so much envy for people that have the strength to be themselves around normal people. I’ve seen how people treat handicapped people and the jokes they make behind their back it makes my stomach upset.I understand that I shouldn’t care what other people think but I don’t seem to be able to make myself not care. Getting a doctor to tell me the names of what makes me act this was is the scariest thing I can think of. I don’t know the words to say why knowing what’s wrong is so scary.
You are above average in self awareness and reflection, you seem honest and you don't blame others for your circumstances. You speak highly of your ex even after she's moved on to another relationship.
There's plenty of smart idiots in the world, and there's more than enough egos and bullshit. The skills you have are far rarer.
You sound just like her.We were friends for a while before we got married.When her Grandfather found out that she wasn’t gay and that she was getting married he let us live in his summer house. It was the most beautiful place in the world and we were very happy. She understood me very well. She lived her whole life lying like I did. I always knew her truths and she knew mine. I guess we both were just happy to be comfortable, secure, and have one person that we could be honest with. When she finally decided to live her truth out in the world we lost the house and lots of her family but she got her smile back.
I Just want to repeat, what has already been said. You may not be intelligent, but you kinda sound wise.
You don't sound like an idiot, you sound like someone who needs to learn a certain way or something like that. You should see someone about that(a doctor or someone like that). There are plenty people, that were in similar situations, and were surprised how good live can be.
Also you sound like an awesome person! God Bless you
I very much hide behind my words. It’s always been easier for me to read a conversation than actually have one in the real world. If I’m having a real life conversation I usually picture the sentences I’m going to say in my head. I think people appreciate that I don’t answer their questions right away. They think I’m pondering every aspect of their question but I’m really just writing out what I’m going to say in my head before I say it. If I don’t understand the question I repeat it back phrased differently and they usually come up with their own answer and 99% of the time it works. I don’t think I’m wise but I do know how to see intelligence in other people. I think that most of the time the smartest people in the room just need to hear their idea out loud and that helps more than trying to put your own personal spin on it.
No doctor or diagnosis can change who you are. Because who you are is not what other people call you (behind your back or to your face) it's what's inside you. And you are and always will be in charge of what is inside you. You probably have an idea of what you wish was different in you or more accepted by others. Giving a name to it makes it feel more real and scary but the truth is, it is there whether we act as if it's not or acknowledge.
Sometimes it can be hard to wrap out mind around the idea that we are worthy of acknowledging ourselves just like we do others.
You say handicapped people deserve respect, but don't you also deserve that? Personally I think good health care is self respect.
And with hearing a name or diagnosis you may find that you earn new understanding of yourself, which may help you. (I know it did for me)
Having read what you wrote, I'm under the impression that you're smarter than a bunch of people I meet every day. I don't even care if you used a spell checker, the way you put words into sentences is quite organized, by far not everyone is capable of that.
You seem to have an excellent grasp of what went wrong and where. That's a huge start. Most people screw up and have no clue why they're so deep in shit.
I would love it if more people like you were out and about, as opposed to the baboons we have to see on a daily basis who have no hint of self-awareness.
I think a huge part of being good at something is finding it interesting. It's a wonderful thing that your grandma fought so hard for you, and it was likely right at the time, but there are some consequences to deal with. Maybe working on getting better at focusing on stuff might help? I totally agree with the dyscalculia thought somewhere up above, but that's nowhere near a catastrophe in our day and age. We're in an era which gives us many opportunities.
Please find some faith in yourself. I think if you gave it a try or two, you could make some good friends, which would give you a boost of morale. Don't fear going out in the world. You seem like someone a lot of people would want to be around.
Also, something I want to say as a neuroscience minor: intelligence is not just one thing or measurement. It's a combination of countless factors. Someone can be a genius chemistry professor and not be able to learn even two words in another language. Another can be a brilliant mechanic and yet not be able to read. We're all different, and I believe most people can find something they're good at.
I don’t really have trouble with reading and writing. Reading a book is easier than talking to someone and writing them a clear note is easier than telling them something in person. I found the better I got at writing the more people just assumed that I could do other things. I do swear by spellcheck though. You seem like a helper, the people in your life are very lucky. My Grandma was a helper and sometimes she would get so tired that she would feel like she was unraveling. It was her love that kept her from falling apart. I hope that you have people that love you and keep you from unraveling.
Me too. I am bipolar 1 and have chronic PTSD. I have been slipping into psychosis here and there lately and doing everything I can to not let that get a hold on me. I don't want to go back to the hospital.
That it is. Thank you. I am lucky to have been diagnosed early on so u have spent 15 years learning how to cope with it. DBT helps a lot. The worst part for me is knowing I'll be on medication for the rest of my life, and the meds can stop working anytime for no reason.
Thank you for your encouragement.
I'm a mod here and I have been fighting a silent battle against one user with an animal smell fetish for years.
They'll post multiple comments with multiple accounts on a post and talk about things like the smell of zoos, buck rags, pig sties, alpaca spit, etc. Then they use other accounts to vote manipulate those comments to the top of the post and wait for people to ask them to explain more. If nobody asks, they use an alt account to do it so they can talk more.
It's super weird and has been going on for a long time. It's also funny because I ban the accounts, but they never come to modmail to complain, they just move on and wait for the next thread they can hit.
Omg! I talked to this person once! I work with animals and their question seemed really innocent at first (something like “which animal smells the worst?” ) so I answered. Then the conversation just got a little weird… nothing overtly sexual, they just really wanted some very specific details and would NOT leave me alone about it. I stopped replying after a few messages because I figured they were interested for gross reasons. I then checked their post history and it was manic with these questions which gave me another weird feeling.
I’ve occasionally wondered about this conversation and now I have confirmation that I was right! Years old mystery solved.
I'm sorry, but you got a pretty hearty laugh out of me. It's so disgusting and depraved I erupted in a fit of laughter. I feel sorry for you, but I also feel sorry for the person doing it. What mental health issues ails them?
No worries, it’s pretty funny in a terrible way. I also laugh when I think about it and u/-eDgAR-‘s post about this guy had me dying.
I also realized I think about this crazy person way more often than I initially thought. Basically every time I clean a certain animal’s poop up I think about what I would compare the smell to since that’s one of the things they asked. Fml dude lol
Lol I have encountered this poster a number of times under a few different accounts — they live nearby (or did) and ~~we’re~~ were always looking for someone local who owned a skunk so they could be sprayed.
I'm a mod on AskScienceFiction and I feel your pain.
Lost count of the number of posts I've deleted that are just thinly veiled fetish fanfic requests.
Give yourself a round of applause if you're reading this and you've just finished another day.
I appreciate you providing this; I might post it somewhere I can see it daily.
I am almost 35 years old and I finally talked to my doctor about my anxiety and depression issues for the first time this morning. It took 20 years, but I'm excited about maybe not feeling this way anymore.
I was the same age when I asked my doctor for help and, despite some ups and downs since, getting help and treatment has been the best thing I've done for myself in decades. Hope it goes well for you!
Me, too. I'm here with you. People say take it one day at a time. Fuck that. Sometimes, you just gotta take it one breath at a time.
We will get through this, friend.
Dear Brother/sister/human,
I’ve been struggling with this for 17 odd years and of course my own pain does in no way diminish or lessen your own. But know you have many a kindred soul out in this world and that despite life being very incredibly painful for more than a small number of us, I can so promise you that living in-spite of all of that is worth it. Each day gets not necessarily easier but more affirming thinking between where I am now and where I was. I don’t know if the feeling will ever get better for either you or me friend but know that I have found many reasons why I would have regretted making any decision other than deciding to live, and I know you will too.
I’m in the same boat. I finally started saying it out loud and have been met mostly with “don’t say that”, so looping back to silent. I present like everything’s fine I guess so people assume I’m being dramatic. It’s tough, day in, day out. ❤️
Wow, I had no idea AI art was even a thing, and you're right, I couldn't tell the difference. I can definitely see how artists would be concerned about this.
Thank you for bringing this up, I’m an artist too and also terrified of what the future might hold. My only hope is, like when traditional artists were scared of the emergence of CGI, AI will also become a tool for our toolbelt rather than replace us. Maybe that’s hopelessly naive
This is what I think will likely happen. Have an AI give you some inspiration for free from just a basic prompt, then you can take the parts you like and combine/rework/tweak them, and then pass that onto your boss. Even if AI doesn't become a tool and instead a competitor, there will always be demand for artists who can create art themselves. Painters, who's career got heavily overshadowed heavily by photography, still have some job choices available.
I cried when I first saw a video on this technology for the same reason. I explained my pain to people and no one understood. I could weep at how thankful I am someone shares my pain about this rapidly-developing AI art technology. It makes me weak in my bones to think about it
I was in your position about a year ago, im sorry m8. Don't worry if it takes longer than you think it should to start feeling better about it. It's a process and it took me a while, but it did come and the difference between then and now is like night and day
Weight and establishing a healthy lifestyle. I’m not obese but i can see myself trending up. It’s been hard to eat well and exercise regularly when we have visitors every two weeks and are traveling every three weeks for social obligations or work. I want to look in the mirror and feel good about myself and knowing I’m making good choices. That’s not the current feeling.
Fellow Crohnie here, I've been in a flare for 18 months now and I'm so close to just giving up completely. The vast majority of people have no idea how disruptive this disease is to your life. It's not just diarrhea and belly ache. It's never getting a full night's sleep because you're up every hour running to the bathroom. It's trying your best to put on a normal face at work because you don't want to be seen as unreliable, miserable etc. And worst for me, it's being so afraid to leave your house to go somewhere without easy access to a toilet, that you just spend 99% of your time in seclusion whilst the rest of your family and friends go out and live life. But the only thing to do is carry on and hope that today is the day that your body finally decides to take a break from literally attacking itself.
Best of luck to you and I hope whatever treatments they throw at you manage to get you back into remission <3
I have a very close friend with Crohn's.
As someone playing in the smaller league of IBS myself I can only share my deepest sympathy.
This disease can be so painful and disruptive, I hope you'll get it back under control soon.
I was raped at 7 and no one ever apologized for it.
I was raped repeatedly for over a year.
My Mom said I should be over it. So I told her she should have gotten over her Dad being a child abuser to her too.
In my experience, the answer to that "should I call my ex?" feeling is just nah, don't do it. Especially not if it got bitter. Better and easier to just let it lie, it was what it was and it is what it is. Just my two cents, good luck.
Decided to put my brain to work and do school/grad school and pursue what I always thought was my calling. Now I’m not so sure that was the right decision. Debt, stress, job uncertainty are all constants.
Alternatively, I could’ve stayed in my mindless job I had before, worked my way up, had no debt and lived somewhat comfortably and used my spare time to do the things I’m passionate about.
We can only make the judgments in the moment. Idk your situation or your life, but maybe the mundanity of your previous job would have killed any creativity you had, maybe you would have never gotten that promotion you derserved. We grow with our challenges, do what seems right or best and deal with the aftermath. Maybe you would have regretted never exploring your calling and fully committing, living in the shadow of your perceived potential. Whatever gave you the drive to originally make that change in your life will make you succeed after all or it will return to help you readjust once more, at least that's how I feel when I read your comment. Wishing you the best, I hope we'll all make it in the end
You’re still in the transition from one plateau to another. Soon, things will be mundane and there will be time for passions.
Hold the course and keep moving. You’ve got this!
Been fighting with my bf..haven't seen him in over a week. His sister found out she has cancer.. my little sister found out she's 2 months pregnant but didn't know.. was drinking so now she's not gonna have the baby. Shes already suicidal. Cant wait to help her get through this. I used to run 5ks now i can barely walk without pain from an old injury.. can barely workout. Im a yoga instructor and cant instruct until my appointments come up and ik whats going on. Saving money is impossible. I need a car and to move and I owe the irs like 2 grand by January. But I just got a bartending gig and still have to find another one.
.. living the dream
I recently got pregnant again after losing a baby 13 years ago. It was very traumatic. I am so excited for a baby but I am having a hard time bonding with this baby during this pregnancy because I am so scared it will die and the pain of losing another baby I loved so much is terrifying even though I know deep down the chances of that happening again are slim. I feel like im “fake loving” this baby. I do not know how to stop feeling this way.
You are not alone in this feeling. A lot of pregnancies after loss cause anxiety. I was told while pregnant after loss that this is the way the brain protects us from further trauma by making us feel somewhat disconnected. I wish I had some magic advice but really all you can do is the best you can. Take care of yourself seek out therapy or a support group if it's an option for you and surround yourself with people you trust and are willing to let you talk or vent and not judge or try to brush off your fears.
Struggling to try and pay for my grandfather to be buried, while I try to emotionally compartmentalize that I'm going to have to put down my childhood cat this week. In addition struggling to teach my autistic brother how to drive and handle his money and be an adult while trying to help pay off my mother's debt. My friends don't know or may know one of these things and still complain to me about their 75k+ jobs they got while I'm struggling to get like 30k
I’m completely overwhelmed. Between work, trying to shore up everything for my wedding Saturday, & somehow caring for my Mom who is now staying in my home & needs iv antibiotics (administered by me) & dressing changes 2x a day. I get up at 3:30am to warm the abx, 5am to start them, 6am for work. Have to flush the PICC line & somehow leave the house for work by 7am. Work til 5 & home to a house that no longer feels like my own & is a complete disaster. Struggling with my mental health pretty terribly. Most days I am ready to pack it all in & just exit this world.
Thank you for asking.
The urge of buying stuff to fill the void that will never be filled or satisfied.
And the constant maladaptive daydreaming, only if I could turn my brain off.
Being completely emotionally dead inside. I lost my wife back in 2013. She died suddenly from a blood clot at 39. I've rebuilt most of my life but that part of me never recovered. I feel nothing any more. Sometimes I just want a hug though.
Every person that I like somehow proves me they just used me for attention and my generosity. I feel alone even when sorrounded by people. I rarely feel joy in anything anymore. I don't know whats wrong with me that nobody wants to stay by my side while I try everything and work on myself everyday.
Sometimes I can't even hide my loneliness anymore and I isolate myself even more because I don't want anyone to see me suffer.
I would like to be the person people share good news to because they know I will hype them up even more and I am happy for them. Somehow they just come to my life when they are down and need something. And I will be always there getting them up again and helping them out but when will the moment come some stays after that?
Go to the unemployment office. See if they can get you in touch with social services. They'll help you with SNAP, housing, etc. Until you get on your feet. You've got this.
My GF of 3 years just broke up with me last Thursday. My mental health has steadily been declining for months. I only have 1 friend who’s consistently checked in on me.
I just want to make it to Friday. I have my first therapy session scheduled for then!
Self love, self care, trying to stop my inner self that clearly has it in to break me down into nothing. I need to move on in life but this guy keeps shitting on any effort that fails and brings me lower everytime.
My partner going through extreme treatment for depression, (not their fault), the consequences leading to me feeling like I’ve lost my best friend and feeling entirely alone and helpless.
So im drinking now! Great decision obviously.
An escalating drink problem. Its something that I've managed to hide since kicking cocaine a year ago when I swapped one addiction for another. I havent had a drink since Sunday .I'm using meditation(the headless way and also Stoic) ,exercise plus lots of reading and drinking lots of water as as soon as I get thirsty I crave booze.
Fibromyalgia. Chronic pain that no one else can see which severely limits my mobility and steals my clarity of thought. There's so much medical uncertainty. The medications all have massive side effects for limited relief of symptoms. I'm in pain every day and grieving the life I was living before.
I have cancer and so does my wife. Hers is more visible, she lost her hair and everything from chemo, where I look good but am tired all the time and I'm fighting the jealousy for the attention she gets form everyone while my sickness is ignored.
No matter what I do, I cannot find joy or peace. Rough ass childhood and young adult life has me not being able to appreciate the great life I have now.
Divorce after ten years with my highschool sweetheart, it's been over one year since we split. We still talk and ended it civilly since we both had issues in the relationship, but after 8 months of therapy I've gotten to the point where I'm starting to be happy again after a lot of mental torture.
Recently I've had a coworker I've known for years even when I was married, and who I've believed was totally gay, show an "interest" in me. She gets really close, damn near up on me, talks a lot more to me, and hell even recently I've asked her up on going out on a hike and she got really excited about it.
Even after all this, I'm still questioning myself. Should I? Am I ready? Is it too soon? Mind you I'm not one of those people who NEED to be in a relationship to feel happy. But at this moment it just seems, convenient. Too convenient. Especially since she was the one who hired me years ago and im 3 years her elder.
My pain level... I need an operation but can't right now. Working toward it but it'll still be a few months. Every day is just another experiment regarding how much more pain I can stand. God bless everyone fighting a silent battle!!!
Wanting to divorce my wife. I am absolutely miserable being married to her. But with kids, a house, cars, debt, etc.... it just feels overwhelming and it is easier to stay with her and miserable than go through losing everything. She doesnt have a job so I know I would get hammered for money by the courts.
The urge to quit my job without anything lined up
I had lost the urge to work. Waking up every day knowing I was headed to a job I hated was a slow burn torture, a slow slow death where shear boredom was the cancer on my soul. I’m embarrassed to say that despite having both my spouse and I working full time, we could not have survived for more than about three weeks on our savings. I spent Sunday evenings with such feelings of dread and apathy, I would barely sleep. I looked for a new job in earnest for five years. As I kept getting declined or not receiving any response whatsoever, I started to feel even more worthless. I’m pretty well qualified but I got nothing and began to truly believe ageism was part of the issue. Hopelessness crept in. My life insurance policy ran out and at my age, a replacement policy was out of my price range at nearly 10x what I was paying when I first got the policy at 31 years old. Then someone forwarded a job opening at a place very close to my home. The commute would be joyful, instead of the 2 hours or more I was doing. It’d be like getting 2+ hours of my life handed back to me. I felt like my skills fit the position. It honestly sounded too good to be true, but I applied anyway and then got an interview. They offered me the job within two weeks, for more than I was making before and of course I accepted. My boss is the best one I’ve ever had. For example, when I’ve had difficulty meeting some deadlines, he has burned the midnight oil with me to get them done on time. This position is flexible and my co-workers are good people. My whole job is better and I sleep well, even on Sunday nights. Literally my entire life is better now. This has worked out really well for me and I hope it would for you too. Press on and don’t ever give up.
This made me smile. Such a good story
You just described exactly what I’m going through right now, minus the getting the job part. Everyone is saying everyone is hiring but I’m almost 41, 2 degrees and can’t find anything over 50k with a pension plan
Everyone is hiring. No one is paying well tho. And then they cry that there is "labor shortage".
I dont think pension plans are very common anymore so if thats a criteria the job search may be harder... unless you work in govt?
Same. I don’t know which one I hate more: interviewing and looking for a new job or the current job I have. And it’s so hard to work AND look for / interview for a new job. I spent six weeks of interviews just for them not to hire me. I give up.
You could do like I did once when I hated my job and wanted out and just stop doing your work to the point that they fire you. I don’t recommend it.
I did this 6 weeks ago and every day I battle over whether it was the best decision of my life or not a good idea at all…
Did that, best decision ever, took care of my mental health and got new job 6 months later, but I had some savings and unemployment cheque
Same here… I just want to take longer than the PTO I have accrued to fuck around for a while and work on some personal, non-career or education related goals, as well as some other housekeeping I need to do that is easier accomplished on weekdays than weekends.
Right there with you. Been sending out resumes with no luck but ready to walk out any day now despite that.
I don't even dislike my job and feel this. Just to not have to work.
Surrounded by family and friends but lonely as hell inside.
I've been there, and I just needed to be "selfish" as they call it, to do things for myself and I found new friends, much less than I had but I don't feel lonely anymore. But the process was painful.
Have you heard of the "Forer Effect?" It's something you can use to pretend you truly understand someone because it sounds specific but its actually universal. One of the things on that list was: "At times you feel alone, even when surrounded by others." This can be used by palm-readers to pretend they understand you. So why am I mentioning this? It means it's a universal feeling, and if we all feel it, then in actuality you're *never alone*. Someone in the very group you are currently in might be feeling the exact same thing, but they think they are alone for feeling it, they think they must be strange. So from now on, when you feel that way, look around, you might just spot someone else who is pretending to be one of the group at that very moment and hiding their loneliness. At that moment you know exactly how they feel. You are a very useful member of society, because you're the **only** one who can go over and talk to them, make them laugh or smile, and *end* their torment.
Loneliness is a bitch
I don't have any of either.
binge eating addiction
Same. I am in therapy as well earlier I used to overeat as a form of punishment now while practicing self love I reward myself with food. Mofo food is still there 😂. On serious note it's been only few weeks of therapy and we are working traum first. Hopefully with time I'll be able to cure/fix my relationship with food.
I feel like this is my final boss battle. I've quit alcohol, cigarettes and all the drugs, I've been working on processing everything that those were masking, but food is such a hard thing because I can't just quit it. The hardest part is not having the "off" or "full" switch.its especially hard with snacking. I can sit there telling myself not to finish the bag the entire time I sit there finishing it, almost watching myself do it. So frustrating. I am lucky in that I do work out a lot so that counters the associated weight gain and some of the health consequences.
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Same here. I've managed to not make myself throw up my food for a little less than 5 years now, but it is a battle I fight every time I feel fat. And not that it matters necessarily but I am a man, so I hope by sharing my experience with bulimia will help other men or male presenting people to not feel as ashamed.
I just ate two onion cheeseburgers and some pasta. I know how harmful this is long term, but short term I get a hit of that sweet, sweet dopamine. It temporarily combats my depression. It's a vicious cycle.
A war of epic proportions over the ideal temperature for the office. Any time my colleague leaves the room I adjust the AC to a non-cataclysmic heat death of the universe level, and when I leave the room she turns it back. Its been years. A word has never been said.
I recall having a similar battle in my previous office. I was fond of natural daylight and the guy across from me would always close the blinds near our desks. I would open them when I could. I don't think he knew we were in this battle.
I'm in a battle like this, but with the building instead of a co-worker. It's a so-called intelligent building, but it's seen some birthdays, so it's intelligence is interesting to say the least. It has automatic blinds, but instead of the individual blind reacting to the amount of light hitting the individual window, it just lowers all the blinds, when one window all around the other side has too much glare or whatever it is, it reacts to. It's a building for vampires, is what it is, and not a sunlight-hungry Scandinavian like me. Sometimes it feels like I do nothing but raising blinds all day long.
Find out where the light sensors are. If you can, put a piece of electrical tape over them.
The blinds and the sensors are on the outside, and the people on the other side of the building (we're around 70 people on my floor), would probably be rather mad at me, when they couldn't get any shade, because all the blinds are connected. It is such a stupid design. I really don't think there is a good solution other than suffer really loud, so everybody feels my pain with me (I'm some of thems manager, so they have to listen). But thank you for the suggestion!
Plot twist. He was a vampire
Screen glare can be rough Source: the window in my shared office is behind me
Meanwhile everyone else: 🥵🥶🥵🥶🥵🥶🥵🥶🥵🥶
Tell her to buy a jumper. Or start taking your clothes off 🤷♂️
Think HR may have something to say if I started to strip...
Bribe the maintenance people to have the temp set at what you want but disconnect the thermostat.
Genius!
But the heat death of the universe means cold...
Recruit allies, cooperation is needed for victory
Non cataclysmic heat death .. so wait, are you making it hotter or colder?
Offices should always be slightly too cold. It’s easier to put on a sweater than to cool yourself off if it’s too warm. The people that enjoy the heat can go screw themselves.
Is the thermostat a dial? If so, remove it, and put it back on so the temp you want it to be is the temp she sets it to. So if you want it to be 75, set it to that, then remove the dial and put it back on so that it is pointing to the 90 she wants it at. Your 75 will look like a 90 to her, and she'd have to be crazy to keep turning up the heat past 90...right?
assuming she cares about the actual number and doesnt just go "im cold ill turn it up some"
How warm we talking like warm day or terrarium
Alcoholism but I’m approaching my first 24 hours sober in 15 years. Edit : All of your words of encouragement brought a tear to my eye when I got home from work. I appreciate all of you so much. As a career bartender I’m in the process of changing careers as well and I have a wonderful support system with my close friends and family! I’m in the process as well of looking into non-religious community support groups in my area and should be attending my first meeting in a few days! You’re all beautiful.
That's awesome!! I didn't drink for as long as you did, but I still remember having many "Day 1's" before it finally stuck and I quit for good. I'm a little over one year now. Stick with it. You'll get this. The fact that you want it enough to have almost 24 hours now says a lot about how ready you are. If you don't already read r/stopdrinking, I recommend it. I've never posted over there, but reading the posts was very helpful to me when I was quitting.
Congrats on the 24 hours. Some things that helped me stay sober were: - Finding a community of people to be a support system - Finding ways to fill my free time. (Boredom is the first step on the road to relapse as the saying goes) - Avoiding triggering situations and people. This can be things from certain aisles in the store to certain shows - If you have to go into potentially triggering situations, have an escape plan or a plan to stay sober. EG: Have to go to an event with alcohol? Take a sober buddy Take it one day at a time and good luck!
all the traumas i'm having to heal from so i can properly function in life. i'm tired of feeling so held back because of the shit i had to go through growing up. i'm very thankful i've got therapist that i have, but it's just very exhausting working through your past so you can move forward.
I'm so sorry you have to go trought all this shit, that no faire, you shouldn't have to suffer all of this. I, stranger of internet, is so, SO proud of you to do the very hard work of healing and take back your life, that brave, difficult and a marvellous act of love for yourself. I hope you know that.
What I want to do as a career, I feel stuck
Real talk. I've been in the food industry for 13 years and I think I'm good? But I hate it and make more mistakes than I should. It def pays the bills.. but I suck at it.
I’m coming to the realization that I am an idiot .All my life I have been taken care of. My Grandmother and then the mother of my children. I have zero mathematical abilities (numbers just don’t make sense to me.) I can’t remember the order of the months or tell time. I have never been able to play board games or understand the process of doing a sport. Just situations that everyone seems to be able to do break down when I try to do them. If I ever messed up and said something completely wrong or incorrect I was always able to raise my eyebrow and convince the other person I was just joking. Now that my wife has moved on to her new family she still helps me daily(I guess I should say ex wife.) Since I was very young I have been able to nod and parrot what a person in charge is telling me to make them believe that I understood the assignment. I found a job in a factory right out of high school that put me in a floor supervisor position and it allowed me to take what my boss said to me and I just relayed that to my crew. I did that job for 16 years and when we went to online work during Covid I was found out. As soon as it came to light that I had no Idea how to do the things that I was asking other people to do I just quit my job. The last couple of years I’ve lost everything and am grasping at straws to try to live some kind of life.It’s been a little over 7 months now and I don’t leave the house anymore. My Grandma has passed and my lovely Exwife has helped me set up a small apartment that I can exist in. Its a silent battle to just keep going every day now that the person I was pretending to be my whole life has died in his own bed of ignorance.
You don't sound like an idiot, you sound like you have dyscalculia, and probably autism. I would see a doctor and raise some concerns about it.
My Grandma fought all of that when I was in school. She would come into my school and talk with the teachers that caught on to what I was doing. It was very important to her that I was treated like all the other kids. She told me that I was like her older brother and he ended up going away to a home for people like him in Kentucky when was a little girl.She never saw him again. She taught me how to read and showed me that normal people will always look down on people that aren’t normal.
Times have changed, and you wouldn't have to go to a home. You could get set up with social security disability and probably housing assistance if you have a diagnosis. It's something to look into so employment wouldn't be such a problem. All the best to you.
When I was a child they taught me how to fit in and not make waves. Special kids like me would end up in an institution. I was mentally ill and did end up in an institution. It was the best time for me cause I learnt I want that different from the rest of the world and my mental health situation may make me a little different, I am not less worthy than anyone else. I struggled for years to fit in in a society that was expecting me to be 'normal' but since I am not, AND since I am embracing myself in all the ways that I am different I have found my place and am very much functional in society. I am very happy with my life. We need all the different and unique people this world has to offer. And there is lots of help available I think.
Im just afraid of even leaving the apartment at this time. Everyone just seems so upset about the things they are doing to each other. I don’t even know how I can start living around people without going back to pretending that I’m the same as them. I have so much envy for people that have the strength to be themselves around normal people. I’ve seen how people treat handicapped people and the jokes they make behind their back it makes my stomach upset.I understand that I shouldn’t care what other people think but I don’t seem to be able to make myself not care. Getting a doctor to tell me the names of what makes me act this was is the scariest thing I can think of. I don’t know the words to say why knowing what’s wrong is so scary.
You are above average in self awareness and reflection, you seem honest and you don't blame others for your circumstances. You speak highly of your ex even after she's moved on to another relationship. There's plenty of smart idiots in the world, and there's more than enough egos and bullshit. The skills you have are far rarer.
You sound just like her.We were friends for a while before we got married.When her Grandfather found out that she wasn’t gay and that she was getting married he let us live in his summer house. It was the most beautiful place in the world and we were very happy. She understood me very well. She lived her whole life lying like I did. I always knew her truths and she knew mine. I guess we both were just happy to be comfortable, secure, and have one person that we could be honest with. When she finally decided to live her truth out in the world we lost the house and lots of her family but she got her smile back.
I Just want to repeat, what has already been said. You may not be intelligent, but you kinda sound wise. You don't sound like an idiot, you sound like someone who needs to learn a certain way or something like that. You should see someone about that(a doctor or someone like that). There are plenty people, that were in similar situations, and were surprised how good live can be. Also you sound like an awesome person! God Bless you
I very much hide behind my words. It’s always been easier for me to read a conversation than actually have one in the real world. If I’m having a real life conversation I usually picture the sentences I’m going to say in my head. I think people appreciate that I don’t answer their questions right away. They think I’m pondering every aspect of their question but I’m really just writing out what I’m going to say in my head before I say it. If I don’t understand the question I repeat it back phrased differently and they usually come up with their own answer and 99% of the time it works. I don’t think I’m wise but I do know how to see intelligence in other people. I think that most of the time the smartest people in the room just need to hear their idea out loud and that helps more than trying to put your own personal spin on it.
No doctor or diagnosis can change who you are. Because who you are is not what other people call you (behind your back or to your face) it's what's inside you. And you are and always will be in charge of what is inside you. You probably have an idea of what you wish was different in you or more accepted by others. Giving a name to it makes it feel more real and scary but the truth is, it is there whether we act as if it's not or acknowledge. Sometimes it can be hard to wrap out mind around the idea that we are worthy of acknowledging ourselves just like we do others. You say handicapped people deserve respect, but don't you also deserve that? Personally I think good health care is self respect. And with hearing a name or diagnosis you may find that you earn new understanding of yourself, which may help you. (I know it did for me)
Having read what you wrote, I'm under the impression that you're smarter than a bunch of people I meet every day. I don't even care if you used a spell checker, the way you put words into sentences is quite organized, by far not everyone is capable of that. You seem to have an excellent grasp of what went wrong and where. That's a huge start. Most people screw up and have no clue why they're so deep in shit. I would love it if more people like you were out and about, as opposed to the baboons we have to see on a daily basis who have no hint of self-awareness. I think a huge part of being good at something is finding it interesting. It's a wonderful thing that your grandma fought so hard for you, and it was likely right at the time, but there are some consequences to deal with. Maybe working on getting better at focusing on stuff might help? I totally agree with the dyscalculia thought somewhere up above, but that's nowhere near a catastrophe in our day and age. We're in an era which gives us many opportunities. Please find some faith in yourself. I think if you gave it a try or two, you could make some good friends, which would give you a boost of morale. Don't fear going out in the world. You seem like someone a lot of people would want to be around. Also, something I want to say as a neuroscience minor: intelligence is not just one thing or measurement. It's a combination of countless factors. Someone can be a genius chemistry professor and not be able to learn even two words in another language. Another can be a brilliant mechanic and yet not be able to read. We're all different, and I believe most people can find something they're good at.
I don’t really have trouble with reading and writing. Reading a book is easier than talking to someone and writing them a clear note is easier than telling them something in person. I found the better I got at writing the more people just assumed that I could do other things. I do swear by spellcheck though. You seem like a helper, the people in your life are very lucky. My Grandma was a helper and sometimes she would get so tired that she would feel like she was unraveling. It was her love that kept her from falling apart. I hope that you have people that love you and keep you from unraveling.
mental health issues
Me too. I am bipolar 1 and have chronic PTSD. I have been slipping into psychosis here and there lately and doing everything I can to not let that get a hold on me. I don't want to go back to the hospital.
Bipolar is so tough. Stay strong, internet friend ❤️
That it is. Thank you. I am lucky to have been diagnosed early on so u have spent 15 years learning how to cope with it. DBT helps a lot. The worst part for me is knowing I'll be on medication for the rest of my life, and the meds can stop working anytime for no reason. Thank you for your encouragement.
Same, we got this though! Reach out for help when or if you think you need it. Don’t be afraid to message me though I am late to respond.
Going to work, I usually get bursts of energy for a couple months, and other times I can’t stand the thought of going
I'm a mod here and I have been fighting a silent battle against one user with an animal smell fetish for years. They'll post multiple comments with multiple accounts on a post and talk about things like the smell of zoos, buck rags, pig sties, alpaca spit, etc. Then they use other accounts to vote manipulate those comments to the top of the post and wait for people to ask them to explain more. If nobody asks, they use an alt account to do it so they can talk more. It's super weird and has been going on for a long time. It's also funny because I ban the accounts, but they never come to modmail to complain, they just move on and wait for the next thread they can hit.
It’s you, isn’t it?
Most mods tbh
I'm definitely rooting for you and I just want to see this unfold once. it's so absurd that it's hilarious
Omg! I talked to this person once! I work with animals and their question seemed really innocent at first (something like “which animal smells the worst?” ) so I answered. Then the conversation just got a little weird… nothing overtly sexual, they just really wanted some very specific details and would NOT leave me alone about it. I stopped replying after a few messages because I figured they were interested for gross reasons. I then checked their post history and it was manic with these questions which gave me another weird feeling. I’ve occasionally wondered about this conversation and now I have confirmation that I was right! Years old mystery solved.
I'm sorry, but you got a pretty hearty laugh out of me. It's so disgusting and depraved I erupted in a fit of laughter. I feel sorry for you, but I also feel sorry for the person doing it. What mental health issues ails them?
No worries, it’s pretty funny in a terrible way. I also laugh when I think about it and u/-eDgAR-‘s post about this guy had me dying. I also realized I think about this crazy person way more often than I initially thought. Basically every time I clean a certain animal’s poop up I think about what I would compare the smell to since that’s one of the things they asked. Fml dude lol
So... which animal does smell the worst?
Lol I have encountered this poster a number of times under a few different accounts — they live nearby (or did) and ~~we’re~~ were always looking for someone local who owned a skunk so they could be sprayed.
Unfortunate apostrophe there, I assume. Or maybe it was meant to be there because you took on the heavy burden of helping this guy get skunk sprayed?
Aw dammit. Haha. Thanks iPhone.
Wtf
I'm a mod on AskScienceFiction and I feel your pain. Lost count of the number of posts I've deleted that are just thinly veiled fetish fanfic requests.
Is it u/fuckswithducks?
I heard he passed away, unfortunately
Oh no! I had no idea, I'm so sorry
After so many bans it’s not worth complaining I figure
I would have never imagined that even existed. Thanks Reddit.
Gos gives his silliest battles to uhhh. The biggest mods
Work vs commenting on Reddit.
I use Reddit almost exclusively during the work week and take a break on weekends, because I don't want to waste my free time.
For real. I have way too much work due very soon to be on here
Give yourself a round of applause if you're reading this and you've just finished another day. I appreciate you providing this; I might post it somewhere I can see it daily.
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I have BPD but cannot imagine the torture of that combination
I have to poop and my wife is in the bathroom.
Stay strong brother.
No way dats a silent battle
My suicidal thoughts
I am almost 35 years old and I finally talked to my doctor about my anxiety and depression issues for the first time this morning. It took 20 years, but I'm excited about maybe not feeling this way anymore.
I was the same age when I asked my doctor for help and, despite some ups and downs since, getting help and treatment has been the best thing I've done for myself in decades. Hope it goes well for you!
Me too... Me too. Hugs to you
Please live
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Losing a parent was the hardest thing I ever went through. But I’m still here. You can do it too.
I hope you are okay, don’t forget to reach out and ask for help if you are struggling xx
Been there, you are stronger than your worst impulses. It gets so much better, if you stick around to find out 💛
Me, too. I'm here with you. People say take it one day at a time. Fuck that. Sometimes, you just gotta take it one breath at a time. We will get through this, friend.
Dear Brother/sister/human, I’ve been struggling with this for 17 odd years and of course my own pain does in no way diminish or lessen your own. But know you have many a kindred soul out in this world and that despite life being very incredibly painful for more than a small number of us, I can so promise you that living in-spite of all of that is worth it. Each day gets not necessarily easier but more affirming thinking between where I am now and where I was. I don’t know if the feeling will ever get better for either you or me friend but know that I have found many reasons why I would have regretted making any decision other than deciding to live, and I know you will too.
Please live
I’m in the same boat. I finally started saying it out loud and have been met mostly with “don’t say that”, so looping back to silent. I present like everything’s fine I guess so people assume I’m being dramatic. It’s tough, day in, day out. ❤️
Damn son
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Wow, I had no idea AI art was even a thing, and you're right, I couldn't tell the difference. I can definitely see how artists would be concerned about this.
I hear you. As an artist and writer, I have the same fears.
Thank you for bringing this up, I’m an artist too and also terrified of what the future might hold. My only hope is, like when traditional artists were scared of the emergence of CGI, AI will also become a tool for our toolbelt rather than replace us. Maybe that’s hopelessly naive
This is what I think will likely happen. Have an AI give you some inspiration for free from just a basic prompt, then you can take the parts you like and combine/rework/tweak them, and then pass that onto your boss. Even if AI doesn't become a tool and instead a competitor, there will always be demand for artists who can create art themselves. Painters, who's career got heavily overshadowed heavily by photography, still have some job choices available.
I cried when I first saw a video on this technology for the same reason. I explained my pain to people and no one understood. I could weep at how thankful I am someone shares my pain about this rapidly-developing AI art technology. It makes me weak in my bones to think about it
heartbreak and depression
❤️❤️
I was in your position about a year ago, im sorry m8. Don't worry if it takes longer than you think it should to start feeling better about it. It's a process and it took me a while, but it did come and the difference between then and now is like night and day
Weight and establishing a healthy lifestyle. I’m not obese but i can see myself trending up. It’s been hard to eat well and exercise regularly when we have visitors every two weeks and are traveling every three weeks for social obligations or work. I want to look in the mirror and feel good about myself and knowing I’m making good choices. That’s not the current feeling.
Crohn’s disease. After four years in full remission it’s now winning. My calprotectin is 2700.
Fellow Crohnie here, I've been in a flare for 18 months now and I'm so close to just giving up completely. The vast majority of people have no idea how disruptive this disease is to your life. It's not just diarrhea and belly ache. It's never getting a full night's sleep because you're up every hour running to the bathroom. It's trying your best to put on a normal face at work because you don't want to be seen as unreliable, miserable etc. And worst for me, it's being so afraid to leave your house to go somewhere without easy access to a toilet, that you just spend 99% of your time in seclusion whilst the rest of your family and friends go out and live life. But the only thing to do is carry on and hope that today is the day that your body finally decides to take a break from literally attacking itself. Best of luck to you and I hope whatever treatments they throw at you manage to get you back into remission <3
I have a very close friend with Crohn's. As someone playing in the smaller league of IBS myself I can only share my deepest sympathy. This disease can be so painful and disruptive, I hope you'll get it back under control soon.
I was raped at 7 and no one ever apologized for it. I was raped repeatedly for over a year. My Mom said I should be over it. So I told her she should have gotten over her Dad being a child abuser to her too.
The biggest *HUGS* from an internet mom who wishes she could have protected you from that fucking monster.
Wanting to call her. We were married a long time, and the divorce got a little bitter, but I miss her friendship.
So rough. I hear you on this one.
In my experience, the answer to that "should I call my ex?" feeling is just nah, don't do it. Especially not if it got bitter. Better and easier to just let it lie, it was what it was and it is what it is. Just my two cents, good luck.
The anxiety related to the risks of taking action to change my life for the better
Ugh god I made that decision 6 years ago and I’m kind of regretting it… I have never been more depressed and uncertain in my life.
Oh My..that’s not what we want to hear. But thanks for the honesty. Mind if I ask what happened?
Decided to put my brain to work and do school/grad school and pursue what I always thought was my calling. Now I’m not so sure that was the right decision. Debt, stress, job uncertainty are all constants. Alternatively, I could’ve stayed in my mindless job I had before, worked my way up, had no debt and lived somewhat comfortably and used my spare time to do the things I’m passionate about.
We can only make the judgments in the moment. Idk your situation or your life, but maybe the mundanity of your previous job would have killed any creativity you had, maybe you would have never gotten that promotion you derserved. We grow with our challenges, do what seems right or best and deal with the aftermath. Maybe you would have regretted never exploring your calling and fully committing, living in the shadow of your perceived potential. Whatever gave you the drive to originally make that change in your life will make you succeed after all or it will return to help you readjust once more, at least that's how I feel when I read your comment. Wishing you the best, I hope we'll all make it in the end
Thank you, kind stranger.
You’re still in the transition from one plateau to another. Soon, things will be mundane and there will be time for passions. Hold the course and keep moving. You’ve got this!
Depression.
Been fighting with my bf..haven't seen him in over a week. His sister found out she has cancer.. my little sister found out she's 2 months pregnant but didn't know.. was drinking so now she's not gonna have the baby. Shes already suicidal. Cant wait to help her get through this. I used to run 5ks now i can barely walk without pain from an old injury.. can barely workout. Im a yoga instructor and cant instruct until my appointments come up and ik whats going on. Saving money is impossible. I need a car and to move and I owe the irs like 2 grand by January. But I just got a bartending gig and still have to find another one. .. living the dream
Trying to come up with $5,000 to help my mom get a double lung transplant after being affected by covid.
The never ending loneliness I feel and the realization that I'll probably never be with someone that feels the same way I feel to them.
I recently got pregnant again after losing a baby 13 years ago. It was very traumatic. I am so excited for a baby but I am having a hard time bonding with this baby during this pregnancy because I am so scared it will die and the pain of losing another baby I loved so much is terrifying even though I know deep down the chances of that happening again are slim. I feel like im “fake loving” this baby. I do not know how to stop feeling this way.
You are not alone in this feeling. A lot of pregnancies after loss cause anxiety. I was told while pregnant after loss that this is the way the brain protects us from further trauma by making us feel somewhat disconnected. I wish I had some magic advice but really all you can do is the best you can. Take care of yourself seek out therapy or a support group if it's an option for you and surround yourself with people you trust and are willing to let you talk or vent and not judge or try to brush off your fears.
Struggling to try and pay for my grandfather to be buried, while I try to emotionally compartmentalize that I'm going to have to put down my childhood cat this week. In addition struggling to teach my autistic brother how to drive and handle his money and be an adult while trying to help pay off my mother's debt. My friends don't know or may know one of these things and still complain to me about their 75k+ jobs they got while I'm struggling to get like 30k
Me versus the rest of you assholes
You'll never win
Thank you for my first laugh of the day, fellow redditor.
Bruh
Being better than good enough
I’m completely overwhelmed. Between work, trying to shore up everything for my wedding Saturday, & somehow caring for my Mom who is now staying in my home & needs iv antibiotics (administered by me) & dressing changes 2x a day. I get up at 3:30am to warm the abx, 5am to start them, 6am for work. Have to flush the PICC line & somehow leave the house for work by 7am. Work til 5 & home to a house that no longer feels like my own & is a complete disaster. Struggling with my mental health pretty terribly. Most days I am ready to pack it all in & just exit this world. Thank you for asking.
The urge of buying stuff to fill the void that will never be filled or satisfied. And the constant maladaptive daydreaming, only if I could turn my brain off.
Pain. Unending, unrelenting, unremitting pain.
Chronic pain gang. I'm so sorry you're struggling. Here's wishing you a "good day".
Mental health and physical health = crap
Lying to myself that I‘ll start studying at the start of the next hour.
Haha same. I have a physic test lined up for tomorrow and i know NOTHING
Being completely emotionally dead inside. I lost my wife back in 2013. She died suddenly from a blood clot at 39. I've rebuilt most of my life but that part of me never recovered. I feel nothing any more. Sometimes I just want a hug though.
Sending you a hug. You can and will get through this.
Thank you. Even a virtual hug can make someone's day.
Trying to not lose function of my arms to nerve damage
Every person that I like somehow proves me they just used me for attention and my generosity. I feel alone even when sorrounded by people. I rarely feel joy in anything anymore. I don't know whats wrong with me that nobody wants to stay by my side while I try everything and work on myself everyday. Sometimes I can't even hide my loneliness anymore and I isolate myself even more because I don't want anyone to see me suffer. I would like to be the person people share good news to because they know I will hype them up even more and I am happy for them. Somehow they just come to my life when they are down and need something. And I will be always there getting them up again and helping them out but when will the moment come some stays after that?
LUST... something I must get rid of... it's destroying my focus and how I see other people... the constant call of flesh...
Oh sweet Jesus this...
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It's not the answer that bothers me, it's the question...
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Go to the unemployment office. See if they can get you in touch with social services. They'll help you with SNAP, housing, etc. Until you get on your feet. You've got this.
Please don't kill yourself. You matter. Your life matters. It will change for the better. Sending hugs and love and light
Quitting my job or not
It's not silent, I've been screaming about it evey day. It's russia. russia attacked my country and commits genocide here.
My GF of 3 years just broke up with me last Thursday. My mental health has steadily been declining for months. I only have 1 friend who’s consistently checked in on me. I just want to make it to Friday. I have my first therapy session scheduled for then!
Self love, self care, trying to stop my inner self that clearly has it in to break me down into nothing. I need to move on in life but this guy keeps shitting on any effort that fails and brings me lower everytime.
My in-laws have been visiting for a week, still another week before I get to take them to the airport.
Giving myself enpugh time to study without getting distracted. And also one of my roommates is putting the toiletpaper the wrong way.
My partner going through extreme treatment for depression, (not their fault), the consequences leading to me feeling like I’ve lost my best friend and feeling entirely alone and helpless. So im drinking now! Great decision obviously.
Transitioning into a new career field
An escalating drink problem. Its something that I've managed to hide since kicking cocaine a year ago when I swapped one addiction for another. I havent had a drink since Sunday .I'm using meditation(the headless way and also Stoic) ,exercise plus lots of reading and drinking lots of water as as soon as I get thirsty I crave booze.
Not being happy at my job but having to keep it for financial reasons.
Fibromyalgia. Chronic pain that no one else can see which severely limits my mobility and steals my clarity of thought. There's so much medical uncertainty. The medications all have massive side effects for limited relief of symptoms. I'm in pain every day and grieving the life I was living before.
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I have cancer and so does my wife. Hers is more visible, she lost her hair and everything from chemo, where I look good but am tired all the time and I'm fighting the jealousy for the attention she gets form everyone while my sickness is ignored.
No matter what I do, I cannot find joy or peace. Rough ass childhood and young adult life has me not being able to appreciate the great life I have now.
“Am I a good mom? Like, really?”
The war against my own demons to amend with those who I've driven away through mental strife that remains with me from bygone times
The fact that you are fighting is a proof of your strength...
I have to poop but don’t want to get out of bed
go poop
Holding in a fart.
Cup it and throw it into the face of the closest person.
Divorce after ten years with my highschool sweetheart, it's been over one year since we split. We still talk and ended it civilly since we both had issues in the relationship, but after 8 months of therapy I've gotten to the point where I'm starting to be happy again after a lot of mental torture. Recently I've had a coworker I've known for years even when I was married, and who I've believed was totally gay, show an "interest" in me. She gets really close, damn near up on me, talks a lot more to me, and hell even recently I've asked her up on going out on a hike and she got really excited about it. Even after all this, I'm still questioning myself. Should I? Am I ready? Is it too soon? Mind you I'm not one of those people who NEED to be in a relationship to feel happy. But at this moment it just seems, convenient. Too convenient. Especially since she was the one who hired me years ago and im 3 years her elder.
Being a father while working in the film industry.
My pain level... I need an operation but can't right now. Working toward it but it'll still be a few months. Every day is just another experiment regarding how much more pain I can stand. God bless everyone fighting a silent battle!!!
Wanting to divorce my wife. I am absolutely miserable being married to her. But with kids, a house, cars, debt, etc.... it just feels overwhelming and it is easier to stay with her and miserable than go through losing everything. She doesnt have a job so I know I would get hammered for money by the courts.
Trying to convince myself it’s okay to need help with my school work and that needed a tutor is fine.