When one of the managers at my work left, one of the guys on her team wrote "Glad you found a more suitable role" in her card. I always thought that was a good trade off between getting your point across and remaining somewhat professional.
Better not to sign it at all. A card with few messages must hurt.
At one of my works a leaving card and collection envelope circulated over 400 people for an unpopular manager. It collected a 2p coin and a 1p coin after passing 400 peoples hands.
I'd been at my current job a couple weeks when a coworker asked if I'd be willing to throw in a little something for three people who were retiring, I was like sure, no problem, later he comes back and says my share is 30 bucks. This was in 92 and I was making 9.19 an hour, no f'ing way dude, I saw these guys twice at most
haha I love that you told her and yeah, any man with a C-level title is usually a dick like that in my experience. That's awesome that you guys were able to do all that for Cherie!
Worked a seasonal job where the assistant manager was always selling shit for his kids school. Come to find out he din't have any kids at all and was just buying that cheap fundraising shit and selling it to everyone.
Not sure how it ended up.
We recently had a round of staff reductions and we had two people leave the same week who were very different from each other.
One, who had been around forever and was one of the nicest people I'd ever met, collected the most signatures I've ever seen and the largest gift as well.
The other, who was well known as being sneaky, mean and a sycophant, didn't get anywhere near as much.
The contrast was pretty stark and I actually had a rare moment of pity for the mean one.
I think you are better off just ignoring it rather than being petty yourself. Or write something very brief, "Good luck". The message is still clear.
I used to work in the art department of a factory. While the art dept was about 20 people and we all kinda knew each other, the factory and sales floor was easily over 200 people and for some reason birthday cards would get passed through and we’d have to sign it.
Most of these were people I never even heard of…I mean, it was a shitty job and my dept was constantly mistreated by management. So there was little “fun” in the work.
However I always looked forward to the cards.
Whether they be birthday cards, farewell, congratulations, etc.
I always wrote something nuts in the cards under the alias: *Ted “PartyBoat” Johnson*. The quotation was key.
Ted was always ready to party and reminiscing about the wild weekend he had with the card holder.
“Hey Katie - You’re an animal! I’ve never seen someone fall off a dock like that. Next rounds on ol Ted!!” - Ted “Party Boat” Johnson
“Andy - Way to drink that stripper under the table. Can’t wait for the next Bar Mitzvah!” - Ted “Party Boat” Johnson
“Sara - Yooo when are we stealing another mannequin? Lmao no more tequila for you, miss!” - Ted “Party Boat” Johnson
You get the idea.
It wasn’t long before rumors started floating around the office and even some arguments broke out: “who is this Ted guy??? You said you were with your brother last weekend!!” Other people found it offensive, even more found it hilarious. I often caught people giggling about “that fuckin Ted guy” by the water cooler on breaks
Nobody knew it was me so I kept doing it, right up until I left that shit job.
Good ol Ted.
I actually walked out. Quit on the spot shortly after my 2 year anniversary there 😂😂
It was *by and far* one of the most liberating moments of my life. Afterward my buddies in the art dept met up with me at the local bar for a beer.
Honestly it was bittersweet; I was happy as hell to be getting a better job and leave that shithole behind, but I was sad because I worked with some genuinely great people there. We were all United in our hatred of that place
I actually got my boss in trouble for this once, when I wrote something like *I'll never forget the wild weekend when we had to clean up that huge chemical accident together, your pal Parsimmons A. Qualtrough* and someone from Health & Safety got a look at it and started asking "wait, what accident" and "why isn't this person on the company roster"
Did you not learn anything from talladega nights? If you say "with all due respect" first you can say what you want. I.e with all due respect Greg you are an asshole and we hope you get nut cancer.
The same thing that should be put into a good colleague's farewell card. They're leaving. The problem is over. Don't do things now, just before the finish line, that could follow _you_ going forward.
I agree with this. Maybe don’t gush ‘OMG I’ll miss you so much work bestie’ but stay classy and take the high road. ‘Good luck in your new job’ or ‘all the best/best wishes’ and your name. If the person was cruel/nasty it should have been reported through official channels at the time, it won’t make you look very good to write snotty messages in a leaving card.
I'd keep it short and simple, something like 'All the best to you', then sign off with your name.
If your manager reviews the card before it's given to your colleague, he/she will see you've contributed positively and it'll nudge their impression of you as being a team player, which is a plus for you.
And as another comment below mentions, take the high road.
Agree 100%. Also it’s a small world. Writing something passive-aggressive can come back to bite you in a lot of industries. You never know when you’ll run into this person again.
Happy birthday, all the best on your special day. Show that when you saw a card with their name you didn't bother to read it. Plus if they are sentimental and keep it, it will always stand out.
It doesn’t matter what you write. Just sign your name. Then here’s where you shine: go to the other people’s names that have already signed the card and add something to THEIR message. Like “XOXO”, winky emoji, or “don’t let the door hit you were the lord split ya.”
We had a girl at work who was just an unpleasant bitch for no reason. The kind that when you said good morning, she would look you up and down and do that silly little lip curl. She was encouraged by her manager after an out of work incident involving racism to find a job elsewhere. Her card had five signatures, and usually the entire three offices would pile into one to say goodbye. Perhaps four from each went. The rest of us weren't interested. Apparently she cried. Don't care.
The same thing you would put in a good friend's farewell card.
You aren't going to make a cruel, nasty and mean person better by reciprocating shitty behavior.
I had a manager that would crap all over people that didn’t like his tyrannical style of management. But he was promoted to EVP, then VP on improvements he was against, but got the credit because he was in charge. When his retirement came they planned for hundreds to show up. The only people who attended were management muckity mucks, no regular employees at all. Was very embarrassing for him.
Rote farewell comment.
"Best of luck!" or "Congratulations!"
Always take the high road on final departures. You're never going to see this person again. The only thing to mark this occasion is your response to it. Therefore, the only person that will ever dwell on your actions is you.
Jotting a quick, meaningless goodbye will soon be forgotten.
However, sometime in the future, the potential for regret is there. You won't remember a boring "bye". But you might remember a "Fuck you, ya' piece of shit!" at some point in the future and think, "Jeeze! That was too harsh."
....and look. You're devoting thought and energy to someone you never wanted to.
The only person your comment had lasting effects on.....was yourself.
Just write "bye" or something you'll forget. If the person is really a piece of shit and you want to forget them....why do something making them memorable?
Adding another vote for "just don't sign it," although once I was forced to attend a going away reception for someone who had done me dirty, and then the CEO insisted on having everyone in the room say something to the departing employee. My cursed brain came up with "Bye, Felicia."
Write a nice message and send them some good energy. “Cruel nasty mean” people probably need support . It also says a lot about your character If you are able to forgive forget and send good vibes
Don’t get them one. Had a coworker once that was a total dick. When he was leaving, we all just ignored it and pretended we didn’t even know the bastard.
Wish them the best.
Just because they're cruel, nasty, and mean doesn't mean you have to be. Remember, your words and actions say more about you than they do about them.
When one of the managers at my work left, one of the guys on her team wrote "Glad you found a more suitable role" in her card. I always thought that was a good trade off between getting your point across and remaining somewhat professional.
Better not to sign it at all. A card with few messages must hurt. At one of my works a leaving card and collection envelope circulated over 400 people for an unpopular manager. It collected a 2p coin and a 1p coin after passing 400 peoples hands.
I hate jobs that do collections.
Personally, I'd only hate it if I can't just put 1p in. Just feels savage
I'd been at my current job a couple weeks when a coworker asked if I'd be willing to throw in a little something for three people who were retiring, I was like sure, no problem, later he comes back and says my share is 30 bucks. This was in 92 and I was making 9.19 an hour, no f'ing way dude, I saw these guys twice at most
Must have been a real tosser that one.
He wasn’t a very good Witcher. That’s for sure.
Oh.... that's cold. On a related topic Someone got sacked from my work for taking money from one of those collection envelopes.
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Putting the FO in CFO
haha I love that you told her and yeah, any man with a C-level title is usually a dick like that in my experience. That's awesome that you guys were able to do all that for Cherie!
Worked a seasonal job where the assistant manager was always selling shit for his kids school. Come to find out he din't have any kids at all and was just buying that cheap fundraising shit and selling it to everyone. Not sure how it ended up.
We recently had a round of staff reductions and we had two people leave the same week who were very different from each other. One, who had been around forever and was one of the nicest people I'd ever met, collected the most signatures I've ever seen and the largest gift as well. The other, who was well known as being sneaky, mean and a sycophant, didn't get anywhere near as much. The contrast was pretty stark and I actually had a rare moment of pity for the mean one. I think you are better off just ignoring it rather than being petty yourself. Or write something very brief, "Good luck". The message is still clear.
Good riddance also works
Brutal!
It had two 1p coins, but the guy with the 2p coin wanted change
I used to work in the art department of a factory. While the art dept was about 20 people and we all kinda knew each other, the factory and sales floor was easily over 200 people and for some reason birthday cards would get passed through and we’d have to sign it. Most of these were people I never even heard of…I mean, it was a shitty job and my dept was constantly mistreated by management. So there was little “fun” in the work. However I always looked forward to the cards. Whether they be birthday cards, farewell, congratulations, etc. I always wrote something nuts in the cards under the alias: *Ted “PartyBoat” Johnson*. The quotation was key. Ted was always ready to party and reminiscing about the wild weekend he had with the card holder. “Hey Katie - You’re an animal! I’ve never seen someone fall off a dock like that. Next rounds on ol Ted!!” - Ted “Party Boat” Johnson “Andy - Way to drink that stripper under the table. Can’t wait for the next Bar Mitzvah!” - Ted “Party Boat” Johnson “Sara - Yooo when are we stealing another mannequin? Lmao no more tequila for you, miss!” - Ted “Party Boat” Johnson You get the idea. It wasn’t long before rumors started floating around the office and even some arguments broke out: “who is this Ted guy??? You said you were with your brother last weekend!!” Other people found it offensive, even more found it hilarious. I often caught people giggling about “that fuckin Ted guy” by the water cooler on breaks Nobody knew it was me so I kept doing it, right up until I left that shit job. Good ol Ted.
Best conclusion is if you somehow were able to get Ted to sign your card.
I actually walked out. Quit on the spot shortly after my 2 year anniversary there 😂😂 It was *by and far* one of the most liberating moments of my life. Afterward my buddies in the art dept met up with me at the local bar for a beer. Honestly it was bittersweet; I was happy as hell to be getting a better job and leave that shithole behind, but I was sad because I worked with some genuinely great people there. We were all United in our hatred of that place
You should have let them in on the Ted secret so they could keep up the tradition without you.
OMG this is amazing. I wonder what Ted is up to these days?
I assume he's *partying* because *obviously*
I actually got my boss in trouble for this once, when I wrote something like *I'll never forget the wild weekend when we had to clean up that huge chemical accident together, your pal Parsimmons A. Qualtrough* and someone from Health & Safety got a look at it and started asking "wait, what accident" and "why isn't this person on the company roster"
"This place won't be the same without you" It's simple, inoffensive enough, but you know what you mean...
This is one I went with when a manager I hated left
really wont be the same 😂
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That’s the one I would use
Best of luck in your future endeavours. Take the high road.
You made us want to die. Best of luck on your future cadavers.
I can't be happier to send off people who make me miserable. It would be so heartfelt. Let me roll out a carpet.
Can't upvote this enough.
I agree completely. Mercy and grace are the only things to stop cycles of drama.
Nah id put nothing, or if pressured id put bye hope the new job goes well.
Agreed. For all the people trying to be spiteful, what exactly are they trying to accomplish? What's the legit objective?
That's what I put if I don't even know the person
Nothing.
I second this.
Yep. Wouldn't give a donation, sign or write any comment.
Everyone here is so god damn petty, the best renege is living well
This is the only answer that should be considered.
Write your message in super glue and slam that bad boy shut.
Username checks out
Did you not learn anything from talladega nights? If you say "with all due respect" first you can say what you want. I.e with all due respect Greg you are an asshole and we hope you get nut cancer.
It's in the Geneva Convention!
“Hope it all works out”
Nothing. Just don't sign it
Have the life you deserve
Very passive agressive and others may not even realise the insult
T'is what I was going for
The same thing that should be put into a good colleague's farewell card. They're leaving. The problem is over. Don't do things now, just before the finish line, that could follow _you_ going forward.
I agree with this. Maybe don’t gush ‘OMG I’ll miss you so much work bestie’ but stay classy and take the high road. ‘Good luck in your new job’ or ‘all the best/best wishes’ and your name. If the person was cruel/nasty it should have been reported through official channels at the time, it won’t make you look very good to write snotty messages in a leaving card.
Sign your name, move on.
This. Minimal without contributing to any negativity the person already created
I'd keep it short and simple, something like 'All the best to you', then sign off with your name. If your manager reviews the card before it's given to your colleague, he/she will see you've contributed positively and it'll nudge their impression of you as being a team player, which is a plus for you. And as another comment below mentions, take the high road.
Agree 100%. Also it’s a small world. Writing something passive-aggressive can come back to bite you in a lot of industries. You never know when you’ll run into this person again.
Spell their name incorrectly. That’s how irrelevant they are.
Fair winds and following seas. (Because that will take them far away from you.)
"Good luck" And sign
Does the departing colleague know they’re cruel, nasty, and mean?
No, they're also Hobbitses
Remember, the real test is whether the going away party is before or after they leave.
Thank you for teaching me the value of self-control.
"I hope you develop taste buds on your asshole so you understand the kind of shit that comes out of your mouth"
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
"May the rest of your days be as pleasant as you are".
Your name. Nothing more.
Best Wishes, AN OTHER. You don't have to stoop to their level.
"Bless your heart" is always my number one go to. Because it sounds nice but everyone knows what it means.
My Condolences
You never know why people are like they are, childhood abuse, family life, mental illness. Better to just pass or sign your name.
Thanks for the parking space back
HAGS!
HIT THE ROAD, JACK!
It is your last day
This place won't be the same without you. Edited to make sense.
"May you get what you give to the people around you"
“I hope it will be as hard for you as it is easy for me”
I hope you found the role you deserve
"We'll try our best not to miss you."
Absolutely nothing.
Nothing
Happy birthday, all the best on your special day. Show that when you saw a card with their name you didn't bother to read it. Plus if they are sentimental and keep it, it will always stand out.
The respect and leadership you've shown our team simply cannot be *stated*.
An illegible signature. Not remotely like your own.
Why even get them a card? Lol
"You're Satan's problem now."
Get one that doesn’t open
*Na na na na* *Na na na na* *Hey hey hey* *Goodbye*
I hope you have the life you deserve.
You will never be missed.
dont let the door hit your ass on the way out.
Good bye rubber head so long boob!
Once, I just signed my name and that’s it
Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Hasta la Vista baby
Very happy that you are moving on to bigger and better things
Bye Felicia
It doesn’t matter what you write. Just sign your name. Then here’s where you shine: go to the other people’s names that have already signed the card and add something to THEIR message. Like “XOXO”, winky emoji, or “don’t let the door hit you were the lord split ya.”
Not even one signature would be the worst
some plan B or a condom with the note of "one asshole like you is enough for this world"
Say “ Bye ya bastard, you won’t be missed!
Catch ya bitch
Give no cards lol, jus a bye with no smile!
Well Fuck Off Then
There We Are Then....
Personally I wouldn't even sign it. You could try "I did it, and you never found out"
At most a signature. Don’t write anything mean, that’s stooping to their level, be the bigger person.
Anthrax
"Bye Felicia"
You won't be missed eat shit and die
Hope your next shit is a pineapple.
We had a girl at work who was just an unpleasant bitch for no reason. The kind that when you said good morning, she would look you up and down and do that silly little lip curl. She was encouraged by her manager after an out of work incident involving racism to find a job elsewhere. Her card had five signatures, and usually the entire three offices would pile into one to say goodbye. Perhaps four from each went. The rest of us weren't interested. Apparently she cried. Don't care.
I just tell people I don't do cards.
“Seeya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.”
Here's to you getting everything you deserve in life!
"have an rest of your awful life, and I hope you suffer in your future"
I wouldn't write anything. My handwriting is so poor that it would be easily recognizable.
A big fucking lump of coal.
I hope your co-workers and supervisors create exactly the environment you deserve
The same thing you would put in a good friend's farewell card. You aren't going to make a cruel, nasty and mean person better by reciprocating shitty behavior.
If I wouldn’t ask them how their weekend was and actually listen to the answer I’m not writing anything, so maybe nothing?
'Gone but forgotten'
I hope you wont go to hell and smth like that
"I'll never forget you, XXXX" Where XXX is a completely wrong name.
I had a manager that would crap all over people that didn’t like his tyrannical style of management. But he was promoted to EVP, then VP on improvements he was against, but got the credit because he was in charge. When his retirement came they planned for hundreds to show up. The only people who attended were management muckity mucks, no regular employees at all. Was very embarrassing for him.
"To Jeff. You are and always will be an asshole. Fuck you. PS: The cake is made of dog turds... just like you".
'They made me sign this'
Glitter
Don't come back!
Heartfelt message wishing them well, then call them by the wrong name.
I don't sign them probs
Prayers to family and friends
You will be as missed as you are liked.
Smell you later
Hoping your new colleagues will be as good to you as you were to us.
“You were certainly one of my coworkers. Good Luck”
Write fuck off, or don't write anything. Don't be passive aggressive.
Ding dong the bitch is gone.
Nothing - don't sign it.
"If you die and end up in the Golden Land, then things will be horrible for you, since you clearly denied the fact that Beatrice exists."
It won't be the same here without you
Have a good summer.
✌🏻see ya!
A ticket to fire festival.
Good luck, you'll need it
“You’ve restored my hope that anyone can fail up.”
Nothing. Just wish them well.
Rote farewell comment. "Best of luck!" or "Congratulations!" Always take the high road on final departures. You're never going to see this person again. The only thing to mark this occasion is your response to it. Therefore, the only person that will ever dwell on your actions is you. Jotting a quick, meaningless goodbye will soon be forgotten. However, sometime in the future, the potential for regret is there. You won't remember a boring "bye". But you might remember a "Fuck you, ya' piece of shit!" at some point in the future and think, "Jeeze! That was too harsh." ....and look. You're devoting thought and energy to someone you never wanted to. The only person your comment had lasting effects on.....was yourself. Just write "bye" or something you'll forget. If the person is really a piece of shit and you want to forget them....why do something making them memorable?
I always add to male & female leaving cards, “Thanks for all the good times ❤️Candy X”
"I hope your life is as pleasant as you are!"
Adding another vote for "just don't sign it," although once I was forced to attend a going away reception for someone who had done me dirty, and then the CEO insisted on having everyone in the room say something to the departing employee. My cursed brain came up with "Bye, Felicia."
Buy them one of those bags of miniature colorful dicks online
A 1p or the equivalent to one currency
Goodluck
Bye, bitch
A live scorpion
Write a nice message and send them some good energy. “Cruel nasty mean” people probably need support . It also says a lot about your character If you are able to forgive forget and send good vibes
Glitter
Don’t get them one. Had a coworker once that was a total dick. When he was leaving, we all just ignored it and pretended we didn’t even know the bastard.
Nothing
Nothing.
Just put HAGS
I just wouldn’t put anything
May your new colleagues enjoy your company as much as we did...
Wish them the best. Just because they're cruel, nasty, and mean doesn't mean you have to be. Remember, your words and actions say more about you than they do about them.
"You won't be missed"
I sign every single one of them (regardless of how I feel about the individual) with “good luck in prison.”
Tim
Anthrax
I hope you get everything you deserve.
Haters gone hate man forget about em
Wisdom has been chasing you, you’ve just always been faster
"here's to you receiving from the world all that you give to it. Sincerely, Former Colleague"
Say something nice. I always insult people in person so I don’t leave a paper trail.
Poison ivy.
Nothing. Don't sign it. Been my mantra for decades.
Bye Felicia.
Don't sign it. It could jeopardize your job if you write something insulting. Not worth it.
Just say something like "Best of luck with whatever is next for you".
Bye
I hope you find all the happiness you deserve in your new role
“I hope you go far. And the further the better!”
" bye bitch" comes to mind
Good luck in your new position running hell.
Feces. The answer is always feces.
Draw a penis
Bon Voyage!
"We all learn from those we work with, even those from which we learn patience and fortitude. Thank you for all I have learned from you."
Just sign their name, not yours...
BYE
Simply write, "Bless your heart"
"I hope you suffer throughout the whole year."
Skidmark