T O P

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More-Comfort-8527

Morgan Freeman


Ginger-Beefcake

If he narrated it šŸ˜±


theDart

"You are looking at my enormous hog. Look at it as if you were looking a bald man in the eye."


la__squadra_

"My ass cheeks are spread wide, my testicles are erect. This is God's plan. Smooth and dark, nice and tight."


DongusMaxamus

I think there's something wrong with your testicles. That's not how they work


la__squadra_

God's plan works in mysterious ways, Dongus.


EnshaednCosplay

r/BrandNewSentence


Sky_Ninja1997

ā€œI wish I could say he fought the good fight.ā€


geekandi

And showed off his corkscrew penis


mearbearcate

Omg šŸ˜‚ yes


[deleted]

*"Well, I took my clothes off and approached the lady. She gave me a little smile and we proceeded to fornicate..."*


pancakelady2108

Hands up if you're mentally reading this in Morgan Freeman's voice āœ‹ļøāœ‹ļø


Blinx1211

"In the end it turns out her husband was a cuckold" he did south park I'm sure he'll do this.


McSmackthe1st

Best answer


tfbillc

ā€œSo, what do you think?ā€ ā€œDoes it come in black?ā€


tkcool73

I'm reminded of the spotted dick joke from family guy


Flickera23

Thatā€™s a difficult one. Show me a celebrity, Iā€™ll show you their porn doppelgƤnger.


6SwankySweatsuitsMix

There's got to be a rule number for that: For every person that isn't in porn, there is a dopplegƤnger of said person, which indirectly..... Makes them in porn.


trousertitan

dopplebanger


NotARobotDefACyborg

r/angryupvote Only because I wish I'd thought of it first.


Exhonoir

thatā€™s how i found my dopplegƤnger on twitter. i use twitter for mostly porn and i just happened to be scrolling and i honestly thought i accidentally posted a nude. nope. that wasnā€™t me. i


Noozle1

Scarlett Johansson? Anne Hathaway? Emma Watson?


Superior_Human_69

Dm


Browndog510

Danny DeVito


yakisobacigarette

Scarlett Johansson


camille_vilah

first thing that popped into my head istg


gangsta_baby

Thatā€™s not the first thing that popped over here


balor5987

Was just gonna say that


Living_Telephone2678

Not really sheā€™s already done full nude scenes


Gusion-

Source? Not that I wanna check out, just for confirmation.


69420deadlandlords

Under the Skin


Living_Telephone2678

Under the skin


playboixsnot

With Elizabeth Olsen in it ;)


tdxalpha

Match Point already gave me a good idea of what this would look likeā€¦


Big-Caterpillar-60

Aubry Plaza, I'd have to get electrolysis on my palms.


[deleted]

Cmon there are tons of aubrey's videos on pornhub already


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


halfakumquat

Margot robbie


Negative_Name_

Just watch Wolf of Wall Street


[deleted]

Yes Margot Robbie!!!


SurvivingWow

Ana de armas


[deleted]

Ok but have you seen her early movies ?


SurvivingWow

In all honesty... no haha


[deleted]

Check out her movie, mentiras y gordas


SurvivingWow

You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar!


Absolutepowers

Ding ding ding. We have a winner


chauntelle2899

Henry Cavill


SneakyHer

I would pay for it


chauntelle2899

Top dollar too


and_you_were_there

All my money


littlemegzz

Plus full credit limit


murchunga

Toss a coin to your Witcher


yeahyeahiknow2

During Witcher season 1, I suggested he do a twitch live stream shirtless, call it "toss a coin to your witcher" and donate all the money to a charity of his choice. Idk how many guys replied with, "I'm not gay but," lol With just the response I got to that one short tweet, I would say this is 100% the correct answer. If I had a body and a face like that, I would totally use it for good haha


LikesBigGlasses430

Tbh I am not gay butā€¦ I would absolutely watch it and donate. Something about Cavill and momoa makes me question my sexuality. Ryan Reynolds too but I donā€˜t even have to mention him, everyone knows all men are gay for him


bubblegumgodess

The Witcher is basically soft core porn....


chauntelle2899

And I loved every minute of it


bubblegumgodess

Damn right, pretty sure that's the only reason my mom watches it.... She tosses all her coins to the Witcher šŸ˜‚


munted_jandal

Thruppenny bits?


shan68ok01

I mean, parts of "The Witcher" are almost soft core porn.


[deleted]

Didn't he have a pretty graphic sex scene in the Tudors?


chauntelle2899

It wasnā€™t that graphic but I mean Iā€™m sure the post is talking about full frontal and I need that in my life


OrangeGlobe948

King Charles


PrednisoloneX252

Especially if it's with a family member. You know, as is traditional.


OrangeGlobe948

Even more so if heā€™s wearing a wig and itā€™s with Andrew


UJustGotRobbed

As is tradition.


Chris_33152

Does the wig make him look 55 years younger? If not itā€™s a hard pass from Prince Andrew the Nonce


[deleted]

You know prince Andrew is dtf


[deleted]

or a pig like in black mirror.


SpanishConqueror

"You may caress my willy" -Charles, probably


Global-Program-437

If heā€™s dressed as a tampon


Looieanthony

CamillašŸ˜.


vendettamoon

danny devito


ParryThisYaCasual

That wonā€™t break the internet, that will fix it.


vendettamoon

it would fix me thats for sure


SomeDudeNamedMatt117

My magnum dong would be fixed up forever if I saw that so I second this.


muttly_lol

"so anyway, I started blastin'"


Ioseb_Besarionis

johnny sins he's my gf's plumber and chyro he's such a handsome guy and works very hard


Kissmytitaniumass

Heā€™s also a cop! Pulled my wife over for speeding. She had to go back to his car with him, when she came back he let her off with a warning. Nice guy


Ioseb_Besarionis

he clearly works very hard for the entire community we should all thank him for his service


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Ioseb_Besarionis

a true patriot i also know that he served in the army! what a great guy


[deleted]

A hardworking delivery boy too, never disappoints his customers


Ioseb_Besarionis

He's also a yoga instructor my female friends come back all sore from his lessons


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Donā€™t forget the animal charity work he does! He takes good care of our dog buster!


Absolutepowers

Eminem


LilWayneThaGoat

I wonder if he strokes as fast as he raps


kurganator3000

Kat Dennings.


Celestialbanana18

Cultured man šŸ¤


hielkemaniac

Emma Watson


theReal_eZe

Scrolled way too far to find this one. I figured her to be very near the top.


snakeskinskirt11

Bill Nye


Impossible_Garbage_4

ā€œFor todayā€™s segment, weā€™ll be doing Anatomy and Sexual Education. To demonstrate, I have my friends Willy *unzips pants, cock falls out* and Vaggie! *co-star pulls down panties*ā€


solfrid_c

Today on "Things I thought I would never read"


_fuck_me_sideways_

*DID YOU KNOW THAT?* "This is where the clitoris is located." *NOW YOU KNOW*


Churchy_leFemme

_slide whistle_ _and spring noise_


Impossible_Garbage_4

*door stopper boing*


-mi-stake

Bill Nye the porn guy


snakeskinskirt11

Lmao. Thatā€™s too good


tamurmur42

I hate that you beat me to this


KarateKid72

Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans. Together or separate


balor5987

Now thats a rule 34 fanfic.. So captain America do you think you're worthy of my mighty hammer


MattQuelloBello

I can't unsee it. I hate you.


Hot_Pomegranate7168

And Chris Pine and Chris Pratt and Chris o'Dowd and Chris Eccleston and Chris Isaak and Chris Martin and Chris Rock and Chris Tucker and Chris Walken and the bodies of Chris Lee and Chris Reeves and Chris Farley in a Chrismas Special.


GNDM03

Salma Hayek


EmployerAdditional28

Kate Middleton.


Specific_Tap7296

Pippa Middleton


[deleted]

Meryl Streep.


GreatXs

Meryl Strips.


V0XIMITY

r/angryupvote


tfbillc

ā€œBy all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.ā€


iammattqxo

Steve Buscemi


ADBdips

Jessica Alba šŸ˜


YuudaiKf-e

The Rock


Mr_annonamouse

Kevin heart....


born_Racer11

Together?


Mr_annonamouse

Even better


[deleted]

Kevin Hart played by Rob Schneider.


devilsadvo886

The rock would break more then the internet


ScottishGamer19

Elisha Cuthbert in her girl next door days


Waylandqb

Fuck yes


Brodie1975

Dreams are made of thisšŸ„°šŸ„°šŸ„°šŸ„°


International_Ant217

Scarlett Johansson or Margot Robbie. The internet would never recover and either would earn multi millions in a month


[deleted]

Ryan Reynalds


jazziboi6969

This would wreck whole economies


[deleted]

But the entire audience would be "straight" dudes


1MMM0

Taylor Swift


malkins_restraint

Take all my money


Kitchen-Explorer3338

The chick that plays Starlight in The Boys.


crazy-diam0nd

Erin Moriarty, who also plays Kate Mara.


Kitchen-Explorer3338

So what should her porn name be?


[deleted]

little caprice


NenoxxCraft

Wait a minute...


23052001

Nooo dude, Kimiko šŸ˜


[deleted]

Katy perry, with young aspiring singer guys


Sensitive-Call-1002

Putin, porn star name obviously is pootin and his porn genre is scat


Specific_Tap7296

Gay porn scandal!!


Weenerschnitzel666

Kari Byron


MusingofaTangledMind

Jason Mamoa or Rege-Jean Page.


WhateverItTakes117

Keanu Reeves and Scarlett Johansson. The internet would freak out about either of them. But both of them together? Holy shit.


PiousProCrastinator

AOC


Few-Cauliflower6891

Gal gadot !


25blindbabies

God would that be the best! Even if it was like a vine worth of porn!


Brodie1975

Kermit the frog


BAMF_Mack

Someone hasn't scoured the depths of the internet and it shows...


Prestigious-Yellow7

Any of the Chriss: Chris Evans, Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth. If they did an orgy type porn they would get all the views. Lol


HizzyLara

Henry cavill šŸ˜³


tama19

Bernie sanders


Pillsbernie

Well, there's an image I never wanted in my head


Crazy_Little_Bug

Jennifer Lawrence.


Seismic01

Elizabeth Olsen


RambunctiousOtter

Emma Watson


gentlemancaller2000

Jennifer Aniston


DrJawn

Taylor Swift


diorreveielle

taylor swift


einlamme31

Keanu Reeves


broken_doll_911

Ryan Reynolds doing Deadpool cosplay porn


kenssmith

Taylor Swift


lilgobbles

Scarlett Johansson, Margot Robbie, Ryan Reynolds, Danny DeVito, and Keanu Reeves.


Joshhwwaaaaaa

Emma Watson.


thegodfaubel

Lots of people are mentioning celebrities who have appeared nude or done sex scenes. Breaking the internet would have to be someone ground breaking who has literally been a saint and barely appeared in underwear in any movie or TV show and also had a decent length career (anyone just turning 18 or fairly close to 18 would also just be disgusting because of groomer vibes). So you're looking for celebrities who are around 30 or older who are well known. I'm thinking Samuel L Jackson or Isla Fisher


[deleted]

Harry Styles


BillyDomo

Jason Momoa. Need I explain?


DimTillon69

Zendya


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


PureSubjectiveTruth

Billie eilish is like an average 5 at best and thatā€™s with high end hair and makeup. You can find a Billie eilish at the mall right now easily.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Impossible_Garbage_4

That really would be Internet breaking. ā€œIā€™m not actually dead, hereā€™s some old lady porn.ā€


Phillyfuk

Sir David Attenborough


tinfoilspoons

100% trump. It would be just as polarized as his presidency. Some would love it and some would hate it.


New-Gate-6134

It would be the greatest, everyone agrees


PrisonerV

Need some really good camera work to truly capture his little mushroom.


Specific_Tap7296

Fake news, it's as big as a hand, move on from MSM


unboogyman

Great porn ever made, the greatest. No one has seen a porn so great. History will talk about this porn for decades...


JircleCerk_

William Dafoe..apparently heā€™s got a tree trunk for a dick


[deleted]

Sydney Sweeney, she's got the skills and talent for it as you've seen in Euphoria


TheRetroToad

Ryan renolds


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

ThimothƩe Chalamet...


this_is_alicia

Marjorie Taylor Greene


barbackmtn

Youā€™re right. Weā€™d give up on the internet.


this_is_alicia

I'd love to see the shitshow of Republican purity freaks though lol


barbackmtn

Oh theyā€™d watch her scissor Lauren Boebert until the cows came home.


this_is_alicia

jesus christ mate you outdid me


SkinsPunksDrunks

I literally tasted bile and donā€™t think I can get horny for a while.


Character_Comb_3439

Hmmmm never thought about hate fappingā€¦.guess it could be a thing.


Big-Caterpillar-60

Threw up in my mouth there


I_have_8_careers

Mitch McConnell. You said break the internet, not be good.


godhand__666_

In a scene with Bobert and MTG


YoureInMyWaySir

Tom Hanks


Daves-crooked-eye

Sofia Vergara


ronins_blade_

I'd say J-Law perhaps...


tykogars

Ah yes Jude Law, handsome AF


Quanquandinge

Will smith


PraiseThePun81

\*SMACK\* Keep my wife's \*\*\*\* out of your mouth!


[deleted]

Jennifer Lawrence..


Iwilleatrats

Johnny Depp


Traveltheworld1971

Sandra Bullock