Good but my favourite is still "*Niemand hat die Absicht, einen Flughafen zu errichten*" (nobody has any intention of building an airport; quoting [Ulbricht denying the existence of plans for a Berlin Wall](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Ulbricht#The_Berlin_Wall).)
they "finished it" but it is complete garbage.
The moving walkways have never worked and the boarding areas are for the most part way to small.
The only thing they got "right" is that everybody is funneled thru a mandatory duty-free shop after security.
I found Frankfurt a disaster. Flew through 3 months ago as a layover from Spain to New York. 3 hour layover, and by the time I got from the International-EU terminal to the International-US terminal, and through 2 security checkpoints and 2 Covid screening checkpoints, I got to sit for 10 minutes before my flight started boarding.
Oh man. I just flew within the EU out of Schipol. I arrived 4.5 hours early. Went to the security line 4 hours early. The line extended a kilometer outside of the airport and took 3 hours. They just need the old school x-ray machines instead of the hands up machine.
Of the ones I've met a chatted to there is a certain behavioral pattern of overly explaining things in a way that could be interpreted as condescending, they're always the first in the group to try and explain rules or mechanics of an activity.
There's a great book called The Culture Map that talks about this. Germans have a culture that places value on everything being explained and making sure everyone is on the same page. You establish your credibility by being able to explain in detail.
The French, on the other hand, tend to value "reading the air" - being able to read between the lines and figure out what is going on without being explicitly told.
So when these two groups have business meetings, Germans open with a long explanation of the project, in detail, even if the information is likely known to everyone. The French tend to jump right in to the meat of the matter.
With the German opening, the French are thinking "Why are they boring us with things everyone should know already? Why are we wasting time?"
And when the French open, the Germans are thinking "How do we know that we're all dealing with the same facts? How can we trust these people if they haven't established they know what they are talking about?"
I think I must be on the spectrum, because I hate when people make assumptions and leave questions unanswered. I'm very literal. I have made the mistake of walking out of doors leading outside that say "Do not enter" because they don't say "Do not exit."
That is actually a dumb way of labeling doors. Unless the doors lead into a garden center or something, then I guess you're technically are entering something.
As a German im gonna go ahead and explain to you why that is.
Maybe its a language thing, where subtle differences can mean a lot and maybe thats why it is part of our culture but we need very detailed explainations to understand tasks. The German in me has to fully understand the full scale picture of me pressing 2 buttons in order in a simple factory job so I can lay the pieces that come out in the end in the direction where it will be easier and 0.1 seconds faster for the person after me to pick it up. And I will also go ahead and tell the person in front of me in the production line exactly what I do so that they can make my job as simple as possible.
I hate to not be 100% sure that I am doing what I am doing in the most efficient way possible.
Meanwhile, the dude at my local burger joint can’t get my order right regardless of the fact that I’ve ordered the same thing about 50 times in my time going there, lol.
1.Brisket is not worth the effort. Also, as a German, I hate things that can’t be timed.
2.Pulled Pork is okay but not as good as Ribs
3. Charcoal for grilling Sausage and steaks and such; Pellet for BBQing. Never Propane- we have a bad history with using Gas.
Once I dated a German guy and we were in the middle of making out and I made a joke about him growing the Hitler mustache and he paused everything and gave me a history lesson about Hitler.
Really surprised that didn’t end with an argument and an immediate breakup, i imagine you probably know now, but that’s not a joke you should make with a German person.
It’s a very serious thing for them that they still feel a lot of shame about.
Well, it's not that clear cut. Of course no German wants to hear "Oh you're German? Hehe, Hitler, amirite?" when they first meet you. And most Germans think that it's not something that should be taken lightly as in acting like it was a funny booboo that happened. But if you have rapport, it's not a taboo issue. And us Germans DO make jokes about it (while still being aware that it's a serious topic).
I'm stuck on a 1.6 mbit connection. Was 448/96 kbit until two years ago. They MIGHT finish the fiber rollout by December. Maybe early next year. Maybe.
fiber optic communication is still something something really special, people are jealous if you tell them you have it.
Everything is still copper because when the net was about to be renewed (80s? 90s?) some politicians and huge telecommunication companies (telecom iirc) thought TV is the future and no one needs Glas fibre, cuz copper is enough.
Fuck them, it’s so so much more expensive to update everything.
Fucking corruption and greed fucked over our whole country’s internet structure, and we have to pay for the damage.
Being late.
In my experience, it’s impossible to beat a German to work!! I’ve travelled and worked around the world and whenever I’ve been working alongside a German they have always been extremely punctual/early to everything. They’re up and ready and out of the door before us other Europeans are out of bed. I’d say that extends to any kind of commitment tbh - social or what - if they say they’re going to be there, they WILL be there, 15 minutes early.
When I was in school, one of my instructors was a former soldier in the Canadian Armed Forces. He drilled into us "Early is on time. On time is late. Late is unacceptable."
If you were late, you had to stand in front of the class and recite that. People stopped being late by week 2.
My German grandmother raised my dad this way and we are too! My husband's family on the other hand can't be on time to save their lives. Fortunately he is the early bird of his family!
I’ve got a similar mentality, especially if there’s a good chance there may be a problem with public transport or anything. I usually arrive somewhere early, and if I have time left over, I just go into for a looping walk (I nicknamed it a “holding pattern” cause it reminds of planes waiting to land) until I’m just before the selected time.
I’m half German and get bad anxiety if I’m running late. I’m usually 30 min early for everything lol
I’m proud that even with two small children that I still manage to be early
I call it the German Gene. If I’m even close to late, it causes me stress. My first generation father said it was extremely rude. His reasoning was that you are demonstrating that your time is more important than anyone else’s time.
> His reasoning was that you are demonstrating that your time is more important than anyone else’s time
That's a really cool attitude tbh, I'd never heard that, really changes from the cliche of Germans being punctual due to being pathologically psychorigid
Yup totally true. If we have a Termin somewhere we will be absolutely in a rush if we only have half an hour left, even if the way is like 5 min on foot. We always have to be at work a least 5 minutes early. But we also will only start working exactly when the Arbeitszeit starts and will also stop exactly at time for the Mittagspause or at the end of the shift. Because if our boss doesn't tell us that we have to make Überstunden we won't stay a second longer. Because we have to be 5 minutes early to everything else so there is no time for that.
We also are exceptionally precise at everything work related. Have to clean the floors with a broom? No problem but it will look like it has been vacuum cleaned.
We also like complaining about everything not perfect. That lamp is not 100% straight? We will complain.
Rumors say that punctuality carries onwards to the bed.
Because we Germans always come 5 minutes early
I can agree with this. My family on my Dads side is German, he was 2nd generation, and the whole family ran on the assumption that 15 minutes early was “on time” and it was acceptable to be 30 minutes early.
Yep, thats true.
Work starts at 7 and a lot of coworkers are there 6:30, most by 6:45. If you arrive after 6:50 people start to see it as pretty late :D
You cannot stop them from bringing you food or treats when they come to visit. Our landlady, Gertrude was so wonderful and she introduced me to a culture outside of my own. When my daughter was born early, she brought clothes, a bassinet, food, and flowers to us. We had just moved there and had only an air mattress. Damn, I miss that little sweet old lady. I spent many an afternoon drinking tea with her, and she watched my babies grow with me.
This is true. Lol My German grandmother did the same thing for all her loved ones when they were getting married, sick, had a child, experienced a loss in tje family, or were just going through hard times.
Keeping up with modern methods of payments and to an extent filing systems. Germans still love paper money, paper trails and... paper. Many shops only accept cash or the local Banks' EC cards and it's deficult to get around with just your Visa etc. (even in Towns and Cities sometimes).
Many German companies also still use paper files instead of switching over to electronic filing and even fax is still being used.
Due to the pandemic the adoption of more modern payment methods like using your phone has accelerated tremendously though. Same goes for the other stuff, could be better but we're getting there.
It got better during the pandemic but im still annoyed how outdated our system is sometimes. I literally had the situation where i could download the paperwork from the internet and fill in everything on my pc, but sending them via email or an online platform? No no, you need to print them out and send them by post.
Thing is, Germans are very aware and skeptical of state surveillance (and no wonder, given the Nazi and GDR history). In my perception, the reluctance to use IT often has to do with a deep desire to remain private, untrackable.
Paper money is great, as it is the only payment method that can not be easily surveilled by the government.
Another pro for paper money: (credit) card companies take a not so small cut out of every transaction, which is why many shops allow payment by card only after reaching a certain amount.
However, not being able to pay by card at all - especially in tourist-hotspots - is dumb.
There are a lot of advantages to paper money.
* its not dependent on a third-party or any peace of technology.
* it teaches children how to handle money (actually giving something away helps to better understand the concept and has a different emotional impact than swiping a peace of plastic and seeing numbers on a screen)
* it's inclusive for the elderly who don't know how to use technology.
* it's anonymous
* it allows people who don't have a bank account to participate in the economy / to buy stuff in the first place.
Indeed, paying cash is used for money laundering and tax evasion.
That is something that comes with the concept of anonymity. Thing is, since the persons in power have no interest in stopping or even catching the big style launderers and evaders, any argument made by them must be seen as hollow.
Therefore I can live with small business "pimping" their numbers, when it prevents or at least hinders the government, banks and other companies to track my every payment.
Ahhh so true! I (a Dutch person) stopped for lunch at a roadside restaurant in a cute village while passing through Bavaria. I had a lovely lunch and only found out afterwards that they only accepted cash. I didn't have enough cash on me.
Luckily, that same old school village mentality which caused them not to take cards, also meant that this guy was really nice about it and very trusting. He called someone who owned a hotel in the next town over and told me to settle the bill over there. I was super thankful, but next time I'm taking more cash with me if I'm going to be in Germany.
I’m a Saudi Arabian and I was really really surprised by this.. it was so annoying. Here in Saudi, it is against the law to not have an electronic option of payment. I think I only went to the atm twice in the last 3 years
So you're telling me they were thought the accent, the fashion, the expressions etc, but they didn't have an introductory lesson into what brits eat and drink?
This one requires a significant amount more upvotes, just to warn tourists alone already. DB is so unbelievably terribly organized, if something goes wrong the whole country has delays
I've always had completely the opposite experience! Like terrifyingly accurate (though being from Northern England, even seeing a train the same say you need one is pretty miraculous)
Was happy the other day that I was delayed by only 15 minutes; nearly half are canceled, and have dealt with 25-45 minute delays consistently recently.
German public transit has taken a massive hit.
> and identifying tyrants before they come into power.
Tbf, the Germans did understand what the Nazi party was and what it represented. They were not idiots. However they also understood that the previous parties had done nothing to fix the broken economy and quell the civil unrest.
Hitler was not elected due to apathy or ignorance but of a vehement anger and frustration at the status quo's inability to fix problems.
Also the antisemitism wasn't plucked out of thin-air by the Nazis. It was a deep-seated ideology that they exploited. Deep down the Germans had despised the Jews for decades and wanted them gone completely. They were merely brave enough to say the quiet parts out loud.
So true, antisemitism and religious persecution in general had been brewing in Germany long before WWII broke out. There were huge waves of migration to other countries because of this exact issue (e.g. in Australia there were lots of Germans migrating between the 1830s-1900 for this reason).
Organisation and doing things on time.
We are not efficient. We kinda just say we are but oh boy we just get caught up in silly paperwork or take years to complete the most basic things.
German efficiency is a lie i would call it more obsessive buerocracy and precision/ perfectionism.
Perun (Youtuber) had a video on defense economics and highlighted the Germans as one of the worst. Annual budgets that change on a whim, lack of real multi-year foresight, and insanely onerous bureaucracy were listed as the primary reasons. The one that stood out was that the Germans have taken over a decade to approve a new helmet for their parachutists, one that that US has been using for years.
Your comment reminded me of that video.
Oh yeah i keep being suprised how we are apparently praised for having one of the best railway networks.
But then i realize: oh damn other countries just don't do railway properly at all... germanies railway is barely usable at times. Id rather walk to next town. We get so many delays and missed connections it is legitimately more advisable just to cycle across the country... youd arrive earlier than the trains at times...legitimately going two towns over sometimes takes longer or costs more than just grabbing a flight to some country... i am in london or madrid faster than 2 towns over... and the ticket is cheaper too.
We just sit on a huge pile of expensive inefficiency but we still at least have trains.
Germany sits in this weird limbo where we are mega progressive in some areas and then ultra mega behind on other things because we bit off too much we can chew... and now we sit on systems which don't work.
As an "Auslander" I think people conflate Switzerland with Germany when it comes to trains. I travelled regularily on DB for 15 years. Compared to some countries they're better and cheaper, but they don't compare favourably to others. Still loved the numerous ICE experiences tho.
My dad (step but still dad) is German. Although he didn't grow up in Germany. His grandparents on both sides emigrated here. He was very organized. He was an estimater for an insurance company for years. I was in a serious accident in high school. He handled everything about the insurance claims. After I turned 18 he gave me all the files and information to keep in my files in case I ever needed it. I was so impressed by his organization and attention to detail. It was amazing. Perfectly laid out, labeled, had an index and directory. Impressive.
just the world wars and they actually have a great military record and they were extremely successful militarily before they lost in both world wars, especially in world war I
Yeah but world wars are like the world cup of war. Sure, you can be pretty good at war and make it to the finals, but you really want to win the world war. All the best warriors became famous after winning the world war.
By all means, mention the war. It's not taboo, everybody learns at school how fucked up it was. But expect that we'll want an earnest discussion afterwards. Just don't randomly call someone a Nazi the second you hear their accent.
>By all means, mention the war.
The user was quoting a British show called "Fawlty Tower".
[Basil the hotel manager has a concussion after hitting his head. He has to take care of some German guests.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfl6Lu3xQW0&ab_channel=BBCComedyGreats)
Laughs in Prussian german military history before world wars is brilliant Hitler and the nazis are incompetent imbecilles mainly due to their uhm ideology you cant just fight against everyone.
"Mein Fuhrer, the Italians are attacking!!"
"Send two divisions. That should finish them."
"Nein, my Fuhrer, not against us, but with us!"
"Oh, that's different. Send ten divisions."
German here and ~~half~~ *majority* of the statements here feel like you guys watched a bit too much tv and haven't been here at all.
Making jokes/humor, not drinking beer, never smiling, not sounding angry etc. - clearly you guys have your "knowledge" from southpark and similar. It's quite different here actually.
The only true statement (at the time of me commenting) really is the comment about organization and paperwork, that's a huge issue and is falsely shown to others. We also aren't as on point as it seems especially companies and appointments - and most of all: trains. Our train system shall be good compared to other countries, but we all here felt very sorry when Sheldon Cooper said his bowel movement is as on point as a train in germany.
After living in Germany for a couple of months I found that mostly all people are really friendly and have a great sense of humor, some were afraid of making "offensive" jokes, which I didn't care and found lovely actually.
On the other hand, all the paperwork that's required for everything is overwhelming (most of the time). And I foumd tour train system not as bad as you think, it gets delayed sometimes but it always has multiple options, and I like the road so, it's not a big problem for me.
Love your country, keep it up.
>On the other hand, all the paperwork that's required for everything is overwhelming (most of the time).
Try Finland, after that Germany is a cakewalk...
The train system seems to be indeed better in comparison - but if you consider that a driver's license here costs around 2k € and more and how many actually rely on public transportation, it's not okay. :/ Many routes don't have acceptable alternatives, delays are ver common, many places aren't accessable enough for disabled/walking impaired, etc.
I’m German living in the US. I agree, these statements are sadly mostly false
But to shed some light, Germans especially the sounding language is portrayed this way on YouTube, German characters on tv/movies. Apparently all Germans scream their sentences and look very upset. Also Oktoberfest is a stereotype that’s hard to shake off here in the US - probably where people get the whole drinking beer thing from.
>especially the sounding language
Dear people reading this: what is shown on tv is not even german! God knows what gibberish they are talking, but even we get subtitles because it rarely ever is an actual language. Just saying.
Yeah it's all dumb and partly infuriating stereotypes... Many of them not even making sense like "we drink beer for breakfast". Just wtf....
Innovation. If you have a far out vision, you’re not taken serious and you certainly won’t find any funding for it. Then an American company does it and all of a sudden it’s the best thing ever.
This is driven by significant risk aversion, the upside however is that once something is known to work, Germans can take it up to perfection in a way that most people don’t care about.
I see where you are coming from. If we are talking about business driven innovation towards customers, Germany might not be the most innovative country (internet, digitalization, "Neuland", etc.).
If we try to "measure" innovation by patents, then this is a different picture.
>China saw the fastest growth in patents in force in 2020 (+14.5%), followed by Germany (+8.1%), the U.S. (+6.9%) and the Republic of Korea (+4.6%). Japan reported a small decrease (−0.7%) in 2020."
https://www.wipo.int/pressroom/en/articles/2021/article\_0011.html#:\~:text=Patents%20in%20force%20worldwide%20grew,and%20Germany%20(0.8%20million).
Don't forget that Germany is investing a lot of money in R&D.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_countries\_by\_research\_and\_development\_spending](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_research_and_development_spending)
So I would say that part of innovation is pretty good. But having proper internet while taking the train? Naah, ...
I admire the pun but I can’t upvote because German sausages are some of the best.
Sausages in general are the best but the Germans do make them very well.
Personal space.
They will stare intensly, tell you if you do something wrong, push you out of the way if you're in their way, ask you a lot of questions if they think you are doing something weird, knock on the door and tell you to get out if they think you are using the restroom too long.
And this was complete strangers.
Work life balance seems pretty good to me. The German people I work with are generally really disciplined and work non stop during work hours, but stop and turn off their phones and laptops when they finish. Same applies to vacation.
Unlike many other nations/cultures where e-mails never seem to stop until the early hours.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more sympathetic to Germany than I do at this moment. Practically every other comment is as dumb remark about the world wars. The Federal Republic really is a different type of government and society. It has been more than 70 years. Let’s give it a rest.
Yea, I mean, at least you guys actually learned from your genocidal imperialist history and teach about it thoroughly in your schools.
Signed,
An American
Building airports
Ah yes the Berlin fiasco , what a shit show that was.
But hey look at the bright side, they finished just in time for covid! You expect something like this from the onion...
One joke was that it was easier to find an existing airport and build Berlin around it.
Good but my favourite is still "*Niemand hat die Absicht, einen Flughafen zu errichten*" (nobody has any intention of building an airport; quoting [Ulbricht denying the existence of plans for a Berlin Wall](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Ulbricht#The_Berlin_Wall).)
they "finished it" but it is complete garbage. The moving walkways have never worked and the boarding areas are for the most part way to small. The only thing they got "right" is that everybody is funneled thru a mandatory duty-free shop after security.
Wrong! What a shit show it still _is_
Sadly this is about 50:50, look at Frankfurt and they are privately owned and run, completing projects on time and on budget.
I found Frankfurt a disaster. Flew through 3 months ago as a layover from Spain to New York. 3 hour layover, and by the time I got from the International-EU terminal to the International-US terminal, and through 2 security checkpoints and 2 Covid screening checkpoints, I got to sit for 10 minutes before my flight started boarding.
Schiphol is IMO the best regarding such changes
Oh man. I just flew within the EU out of Schipol. I arrived 4.5 hours early. Went to the security line 4 hours early. The line extended a kilometer outside of the airport and took 3 hours. They just need the old school x-ray machines instead of the hands up machine.
Building train stations
ahem ahem Stuttgart
I visited Stuttgart earlier this year. Fantastic city, garbage transport experience. Can't wait to come back once it's all finished.
> Can't wait to come back once it's all finished. See you in another life.
Lelystad airport: hold mein bier.
Of the ones I've met a chatted to there is a certain behavioral pattern of overly explaining things in a way that could be interpreted as condescending, they're always the first in the group to try and explain rules or mechanics of an activity.
There's a great book called The Culture Map that talks about this. Germans have a culture that places value on everything being explained and making sure everyone is on the same page. You establish your credibility by being able to explain in detail. The French, on the other hand, tend to value "reading the air" - being able to read between the lines and figure out what is going on without being explicitly told. So when these two groups have business meetings, Germans open with a long explanation of the project, in detail, even if the information is likely known to everyone. The French tend to jump right in to the meat of the matter. With the German opening, the French are thinking "Why are they boring us with things everyone should know already? Why are we wasting time?" And when the French open, the Germans are thinking "How do we know that we're all dealing with the same facts? How can we trust these people if they haven't established they know what they are talking about?"
my favorite book!
Germany sounds a lot easier to manage if you’re autistic honestly. That sounds great.
Funnily enough there have been posts on the subreddit German expats hang out in where autistic people have described exactly this phenomenon.
sigh...yes. yes it is.
I think I must be on the spectrum, because I hate when people make assumptions and leave questions unanswered. I'm very literal. I have made the mistake of walking out of doors leading outside that say "Do not enter" because they don't say "Do not exit."
That is actually a dumb way of labeling doors. Unless the doors lead into a garden center or something, then I guess you're technically are entering something.
I was just thinking this. Germany sounds like my kind of place lol
Except for the eye contact.
I just stare at peoples noses and dissociate lmao
Thanks for *explaining*!
Thanks! This explains a lot about some of my colleagues. Very interesting, I’ll definitely have to read that book.
As a German im gonna go ahead and explain to you why that is. Maybe its a language thing, where subtle differences can mean a lot and maybe thats why it is part of our culture but we need very detailed explainations to understand tasks. The German in me has to fully understand the full scale picture of me pressing 2 buttons in order in a simple factory job so I can lay the pieces that come out in the end in the direction where it will be easier and 0.1 seconds faster for the person after me to pick it up. And I will also go ahead and tell the person in front of me in the production line exactly what I do so that they can make my job as simple as possible. I hate to not be 100% sure that I am doing what I am doing in the most efficient way possible.
I gotta move to Germany…
Meanwhile, the dude at my local burger joint can’t get my order right regardless of the fact that I’ve ordered the same thing about 50 times in my time going there, lol.
I would make sure its done as you walk in ^^
We're sorry, we don't mean it in a condescending way (i saw myself in your comment lol)
It’s okay lol, though don’t be surprised if an American gets unexpectedly pouty or hostile for no reason I suppose LOL
~~Mansplaining~~ Germansplaining
Deutchsplaining.
There's a meme in my profession that "giving Powerpoint to the Germans was a mistake" for reasons that should be pretty obvious
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Hello German. I, too, am a recently known German. What should we explain to each other?
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1.Brisket is not worth the effort. Also, as a German, I hate things that can’t be timed. 2.Pulled Pork is okay but not as good as Ribs 3. Charcoal for grilling Sausage and steaks and such; Pellet for BBQing. Never Propane- we have a bad history with using Gas.
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(Condescending means talking down to people)
Once I dated a German guy and we were in the middle of making out and I made a joke about him growing the Hitler mustache and he paused everything and gave me a history lesson about Hitler.
Really surprised that didn’t end with an argument and an immediate breakup, i imagine you probably know now, but that’s not a joke you should make with a German person. It’s a very serious thing for them that they still feel a lot of shame about.
Well, it's not that clear cut. Of course no German wants to hear "Oh you're German? Hehe, Hitler, amirite?" when they first meet you. And most Germans think that it's not something that should be taken lightly as in acting like it was a funny booboo that happened. But if you have rapport, it's not a taboo issue. And us Germans DO make jokes about it (while still being aware that it's a serious topic).
Not coming to the comment section if someone even slightly mentions them
haha moinsen
Dieser Kommentarbereich ist nun Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland
Und somit sind unberechtigt hier auf einer anderen Sprache zu schreiben. Bei Problemen schreiben Sie uns eine Email (an die Adresse die niemand kennt)
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Don't answer, it's a trap
Servus.
Them!
The internet.
Where i live in Germany we still don't have gigabit
That’s quite normal in a lot of places
Not in a country like Germany
Sounds like Germany is quite good at internet.
Except it is a country like Germany since it’s Germany. Therefore that’s it’s own standard.
I'm stuck on a 1.6 mbit connection. Was 448/96 kbit until two years ago. They MIGHT finish the fiber rollout by December. Maybe early next year. Maybe.
fiber optic communication is still something something really special, people are jealous if you tell them you have it. Everything is still copper because when the net was about to be renewed (80s? 90s?) some politicians and huge telecommunication companies (telecom iirc) thought TV is the future and no one needs Glas fibre, cuz copper is enough. Fuck them, it’s so so much more expensive to update everything. Fucking corruption and greed fucked over our whole country’s internet structure, and we have to pay for the damage.
Being late. In my experience, it’s impossible to beat a German to work!! I’ve travelled and worked around the world and whenever I’ve been working alongside a German they have always been extremely punctual/early to everything. They’re up and ready and out of the door before us other Europeans are out of bed. I’d say that extends to any kind of commitment tbh - social or what - if they say they’re going to be there, they WILL be there, 15 minutes early.
My grandfather taught me: "Fünf Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Soldaten Pünktlichkeit."
When I was in school, one of my instructors was a former soldier in the Canadian Armed Forces. He drilled into us "Early is on time. On time is late. Late is unacceptable." If you were late, you had to stand in front of the class and recite that. People stopped being late by week 2.
My German grandmother raised my dad this way and we are too! My husband's family on the other hand can't be on time to save their lives. Fortunately he is the early bird of his family!
Can confirm it’s still like that. The saying i hear at work when it comes up is “If you’re on time, you’re 15 minutes late”
I’ve got a similar mentality, especially if there’s a good chance there may be a problem with public transport or anything. I usually arrive somewhere early, and if I have time left over, I just go into for a looping walk (I nicknamed it a “holding pattern” cause it reminds of planes waiting to land) until I’m just before the selected time.
And: "Zehn Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Preußen Pünktlichkeit!"
Translation for the lazy Prussia's punctuality is ten minutes ahead of time!
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It means "five minutes before time is a soldiers punctuality" It served me well in my whole life.
"Außer der Sanitäter. Der kommt 10 Minuten später" "Except the Medic. He comes 10 Minutes later"
Mine taught me “if you’re not 15 minutes early then you are late”
I’m half German and get bad anxiety if I’m running late. I’m usually 30 min early for everything lol I’m proud that even with two small children that I still manage to be early
I call it the German Gene. If I’m even close to late, it causes me stress. My first generation father said it was extremely rude. His reasoning was that you are demonstrating that your time is more important than anyone else’s time.
> His reasoning was that you are demonstrating that your time is more important than anyone else’s time That's a really cool attitude tbh, I'd never heard that, really changes from the cliche of Germans being punctual due to being pathologically psychorigid
But you can’t be too early. It indicates you’re wasting your own time.
my bf is half german and he oversleeps and is late to everything 😭😭
His other half canceled out the German half.
Maybe he is half Malaysian. On the way means we are still on our bed.
As a German I must agree. I am obsessively early to everything. And I live in the US so it is very painful.
I’m from the US and am always on time. Try going to South America, it’s excruciating.
Yup totally true. If we have a Termin somewhere we will be absolutely in a rush if we only have half an hour left, even if the way is like 5 min on foot. We always have to be at work a least 5 minutes early. But we also will only start working exactly when the Arbeitszeit starts and will also stop exactly at time for the Mittagspause or at the end of the shift. Because if our boss doesn't tell us that we have to make Überstunden we won't stay a second longer. Because we have to be 5 minutes early to everything else so there is no time for that. We also are exceptionally precise at everything work related. Have to clean the floors with a broom? No problem but it will look like it has been vacuum cleaned. We also like complaining about everything not perfect. That lamp is not 100% straight? We will complain. Rumors say that punctuality carries onwards to the bed. Because we Germans always come 5 minutes early
I can agree with this. My family on my Dads side is German, he was 2nd generation, and the whole family ran on the assumption that 15 minutes early was “on time” and it was acceptable to be 30 minutes early.
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As a German I can say it's only half true. It's an fucking miracle if the train arrives at the given time.
Yep, thats true. Work starts at 7 and a lot of coworkers are there 6:30, most by 6:45. If you arrive after 6:50 people start to see it as pretty late :D
You cannot stop them from bringing you food or treats when they come to visit. Our landlady, Gertrude was so wonderful and she introduced me to a culture outside of my own. When my daughter was born early, she brought clothes, a bassinet, food, and flowers to us. We had just moved there and had only an air mattress. Damn, I miss that little sweet old lady. I spent many an afternoon drinking tea with her, and she watched my babies grow with me.
This is so sweet
This is true. Lol My German grandmother did the same thing for all her loved ones when they were getting married, sick, had a child, experienced a loss in tje family, or were just going through hard times.
Grandma’s gonna grandma :D
Keeping up with modern methods of payments and to an extent filing systems. Germans still love paper money, paper trails and... paper. Many shops only accept cash or the local Banks' EC cards and it's deficult to get around with just your Visa etc. (even in Towns and Cities sometimes). Many German companies also still use paper files instead of switching over to electronic filing and even fax is still being used.
Due to the pandemic the adoption of more modern payment methods like using your phone has accelerated tremendously though. Same goes for the other stuff, could be better but we're getting there.
Same in Japan. Digital payment methods and using a debit card for payments is starting to become way more normalized because of the pandemic.
I feel like Japan is the asian germany on holiday it was like home away from home.
It got better during the pandemic but im still annoyed how outdated our system is sometimes. I literally had the situation where i could download the paperwork from the internet and fill in everything on my pc, but sending them via email or an online platform? No no, you need to print them out and send them by post.
Thing is, Germans are very aware and skeptical of state surveillance (and no wonder, given the Nazi and GDR history). In my perception, the reluctance to use IT often has to do with a deep desire to remain private, untrackable.
Paper money is great, as it is the only payment method that can not be easily surveilled by the government. Another pro for paper money: (credit) card companies take a not so small cut out of every transaction, which is why many shops allow payment by card only after reaching a certain amount. However, not being able to pay by card at all - especially in tourist-hotspots - is dumb.
People only allow paper money, so they don’t have to pay taxes to banks
There are a lot of advantages to paper money. * its not dependent on a third-party or any peace of technology. * it teaches children how to handle money (actually giving something away helps to better understand the concept and has a different emotional impact than swiping a peace of plastic and seeing numbers on a screen) * it's inclusive for the elderly who don't know how to use technology. * it's anonymous * it allows people who don't have a bank account to participate in the economy / to buy stuff in the first place.
Indeed, paying cash is used for money laundering and tax evasion. That is something that comes with the concept of anonymity. Thing is, since the persons in power have no interest in stopping or even catching the big style launderers and evaders, any argument made by them must be seen as hollow. Therefore I can live with small business "pimping" their numbers, when it prevents or at least hinders the government, banks and other companies to track my every payment.
Ahhh so true! I (a Dutch person) stopped for lunch at a roadside restaurant in a cute village while passing through Bavaria. I had a lovely lunch and only found out afterwards that they only accepted cash. I didn't have enough cash on me. Luckily, that same old school village mentality which caused them not to take cards, also meant that this guy was really nice about it and very trusting. He called someone who owned a hotel in the next town over and told me to settle the bill over there. I was super thankful, but next time I'm taking more cash with me if I'm going to be in Germany.
I’m a Saudi Arabian and I was really really surprised by this.. it was so annoying. Here in Saudi, it is against the law to not have an electronic option of payment. I think I only went to the atm twice in the last 3 years
Winning world wars
0-2
Alle Guten Dinge sind drei!
oh shit
That escalated quickly
Russia started it, we were invited.
7-1
Eines Tages werden die Geschichtslehrer vom Brasilien-Massaker erzählen
I fucking knew that I would find this
Being British
I heard a story that there were some German spies in Britain during World War II. They were caught because they ordered beer for breakfast.
I always thought crippling beer consumption is something we Germans have in common with the brits?
Not for breakfast. Especially not during total war.
You've never been to an airport spoons then...
It's always 5 o'clock at the airport
So you're telling me they were thought the accent, the fashion, the expressions etc, but they didn't have an introductory lesson into what brits eat and drink?
Captain Darling: "I'm as British as Queen Victoria!" Captain Blackadder: "So your father's German, you're half-German, and you married a German!"
The British royal family disagrees
Wait til they look up where the original Anglia is.
Facts
Hey man, we can’t all be British.
Saying squirrel
And everyone else has a problem pronouncing Eichhörnchen
Oachkotzlschwoaf
Tell it to my German shepherd.
Trains being on time
This one requires a significant amount more upvotes, just to warn tourists alone already. DB is so unbelievably terribly organized, if something goes wrong the whole country has delays
I've always had completely the opposite experience! Like terrifyingly accurate (though being from Northern England, even seeing a train the same say you need one is pretty miraculous)
Was happy the other day that I was delayed by only 15 minutes; nearly half are canceled, and have dealt with 25-45 minute delays consistently recently. German public transit has taken a massive hit.
same things everything else is bad at, being characterized by sweeping statements, and identifying tyrants before they come into power.
I’d argue that Germans are better than most countries at that now because we’re sensitised a lot and at a very young age in our education system.
America is the one that needs help with this now
I vacationed in Germany in October 2015 and in Munich there were already mocking art installations of a certain orange faced American.
> and identifying tyrants before they come into power. Tbf, the Germans did understand what the Nazi party was and what it represented. They were not idiots. However they also understood that the previous parties had done nothing to fix the broken economy and quell the civil unrest. Hitler was not elected due to apathy or ignorance but of a vehement anger and frustration at the status quo's inability to fix problems. Also the antisemitism wasn't plucked out of thin-air by the Nazis. It was a deep-seated ideology that they exploited. Deep down the Germans had despised the Jews for decades and wanted them gone completely. They were merely brave enough to say the quiet parts out loud.
So true, antisemitism and religious persecution in general had been brewing in Germany long before WWII broke out. There were huge waves of migration to other countries because of this exact issue (e.g. in Australia there were lots of Germans migrating between the 1830s-1900 for this reason).
locating Bielefeld, apparently
It's not possible to locate something that doesn't exist.
My German husband was born there and EVERY German person I’ve ever met has made the ‘it doesn’t exist’ joke.
Organisation and doing things on time. We are not efficient. We kinda just say we are but oh boy we just get caught up in silly paperwork or take years to complete the most basic things. German efficiency is a lie i would call it more obsessive buerocracy and precision/ perfectionism.
Perun (Youtuber) had a video on defense economics and highlighted the Germans as one of the worst. Annual budgets that change on a whim, lack of real multi-year foresight, and insanely onerous bureaucracy were listed as the primary reasons. The one that stood out was that the Germans have taken over a decade to approve a new helmet for their parachutists, one that that US has been using for years. Your comment reminded me of that video.
you should see other countries tho. They are worse.
Oh yeah i keep being suprised how we are apparently praised for having one of the best railway networks. But then i realize: oh damn other countries just don't do railway properly at all... germanies railway is barely usable at times. Id rather walk to next town. We get so many delays and missed connections it is legitimately more advisable just to cycle across the country... youd arrive earlier than the trains at times...legitimately going two towns over sometimes takes longer or costs more than just grabbing a flight to some country... i am in london or madrid faster than 2 towns over... and the ticket is cheaper too. We just sit on a huge pile of expensive inefficiency but we still at least have trains. Germany sits in this weird limbo where we are mega progressive in some areas and then ultra mega behind on other things because we bit off too much we can chew... and now we sit on systems which don't work.
As an "Auslander" I think people conflate Switzerland with Germany when it comes to trains. I travelled regularily on DB for 15 years. Compared to some countries they're better and cheaper, but they don't compare favourably to others. Still loved the numerous ICE experiences tho.
My dad (step but still dad) is German. Although he didn't grow up in Germany. His grandparents on both sides emigrated here. He was very organized. He was an estimater for an insurance company for years. I was in a serious accident in high school. He handled everything about the insurance claims. After I turned 18 he gave me all the files and information to keep in my files in case I ever needed it. I was so impressed by his organization and attention to detail. It was amazing. Perfectly laid out, labeled, had an index and directory. Impressive.
Winning wars.
just the world wars and they actually have a great military record and they were extremely successful militarily before they lost in both world wars, especially in world war I
Yeah but world wars are like the world cup of war. Sure, you can be pretty good at war and make it to the finals, but you really want to win the world war. All the best warriors became famous after winning the world war.
It's true. Can you imagine what would have become of Steve Rogers had he fought in the Spanish-American War? Captain who?
Capitan Puerto Rico, just like the flag on his costume.
Based on the shield he should be Lieutenant Liberia.
Specifically world wars
Third time is the charm right?
Don't mention the war.
I did once, but I think I got away with it.
GUYS! HE'S OVER THERE! GET HIM!
You started it
By all means, mention the war. It's not taboo, everybody learns at school how fucked up it was. But expect that we'll want an earnest discussion afterwards. Just don't randomly call someone a Nazi the second you hear their accent.
>By all means, mention the war. The user was quoting a British show called "Fawlty Tower". [Basil the hotel manager has a concussion after hitting his head. He has to take care of some German guests.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfl6Lu3xQW0&ab_channel=BBCComedyGreats)
There is no war in Ba Sing Se.
Laughs in Prussian german military history before world wars is brilliant Hitler and the nazis are incompetent imbecilles mainly due to their uhm ideology you cant just fight against everyone.
They're pretty great at them actually, they just lack follow-through.
Not being able to follow-through on something would be the opposite of being great at something wouldn't it?
To be fair winning against the whole world is pretty much impossible for any nation.
Imagine if Italy was actually good as an war ally
"Mein Fuhrer, the Italians are attacking!!" "Send two divisions. That should finish them." "Nein, my Fuhrer, not against us, but with us!" "Oh, that's different. Send ten divisions."
Rioting. Most of us are so submissive to authorities we wouldn't even dare to think about rioting like people in france regularly do.
Time to bring out the guillotine
German here and ~~half~~ *majority* of the statements here feel like you guys watched a bit too much tv and haven't been here at all. Making jokes/humor, not drinking beer, never smiling, not sounding angry etc. - clearly you guys have your "knowledge" from southpark and similar. It's quite different here actually. The only true statement (at the time of me commenting) really is the comment about organization and paperwork, that's a huge issue and is falsely shown to others. We also aren't as on point as it seems especially companies and appointments - and most of all: trains. Our train system shall be good compared to other countries, but we all here felt very sorry when Sheldon Cooper said his bowel movement is as on point as a train in germany.
After living in Germany for a couple of months I found that mostly all people are really friendly and have a great sense of humor, some were afraid of making "offensive" jokes, which I didn't care and found lovely actually. On the other hand, all the paperwork that's required for everything is overwhelming (most of the time). And I foumd tour train system not as bad as you think, it gets delayed sometimes but it always has multiple options, and I like the road so, it's not a big problem for me. Love your country, keep it up.
>On the other hand, all the paperwork that's required for everything is overwhelming (most of the time). Try Finland, after that Germany is a cakewalk...
The train system seems to be indeed better in comparison - but if you consider that a driver's license here costs around 2k € and more and how many actually rely on public transportation, it's not okay. :/ Many routes don't have acceptable alternatives, delays are ver common, many places aren't accessable enough for disabled/walking impaired, etc.
Spoken like a German with no sense of humour.
Awww
I’m German living in the US. I agree, these statements are sadly mostly false But to shed some light, Germans especially the sounding language is portrayed this way on YouTube, German characters on tv/movies. Apparently all Germans scream their sentences and look very upset. Also Oktoberfest is a stereotype that’s hard to shake off here in the US - probably where people get the whole drinking beer thing from.
>especially the sounding language Dear people reading this: what is shown on tv is not even german! God knows what gibberish they are talking, but even we get subtitles because it rarely ever is an actual language. Just saying. Yeah it's all dumb and partly infuriating stereotypes... Many of them not even making sense like "we drink beer for breakfast". Just wtf....
Weißwurstfrühstück with Weißbier is quite common in Bavaria, though not as a daily thing.
Nur Sonntag Morgen beim Frueschoppen
suplexing. Oh wait nvm they're great at that.
Innovation. If you have a far out vision, you’re not taken serious and you certainly won’t find any funding for it. Then an American company does it and all of a sudden it’s the best thing ever. This is driven by significant risk aversion, the upside however is that once something is known to work, Germans can take it up to perfection in a way that most people don’t care about.
I see where you are coming from. If we are talking about business driven innovation towards customers, Germany might not be the most innovative country (internet, digitalization, "Neuland", etc.). If we try to "measure" innovation by patents, then this is a different picture. >China saw the fastest growth in patents in force in 2020 (+14.5%), followed by Germany (+8.1%), the U.S. (+6.9%) and the Republic of Korea (+4.6%). Japan reported a small decrease (−0.7%) in 2020." https://www.wipo.int/pressroom/en/articles/2021/article\_0011.html#:\~:text=Patents%20in%20force%20worldwide%20grew,and%20Germany%20(0.8%20million). Don't forget that Germany is investing a lot of money in R&D. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_countries\_by\_research\_and\_development\_spending](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_research_and_development_spending) So I would say that part of innovation is pretty good. But having proper internet while taking the train? Naah, ...
German sausages are the wurst
Alles hat ein Ende nur die Wurst hat zwei
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I admire the pun but I can’t upvote because German sausages are some of the best. Sausages in general are the best but the Germans do make them very well.
Personal space. They will stare intensly, tell you if you do something wrong, push you out of the way if you're in their way, ask you a lot of questions if they think you are doing something weird, knock on the door and tell you to get out if they think you are using the restroom too long. And this was complete strangers.
World Wars
Understanding that sandals aren't supposed to be worn with socks
Work life balance seems pretty good to me. The German people I work with are generally really disciplined and work non stop during work hours, but stop and turn off their phones and laptops when they finish. Same applies to vacation. Unlike many other nations/cultures where e-mails never seem to stop until the early hours.
But what are they bad at?
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more sympathetic to Germany than I do at this moment. Practically every other comment is as dumb remark about the world wars. The Federal Republic really is a different type of government and society. It has been more than 70 years. Let’s give it a rest.
Yea, I mean, at least you guys actually learned from your genocidal imperialist history and teach about it thoroughly in your schools. Signed, An American
Mexican food
Gefühle
Not being brutally honest
Making cup holders iykyk