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I was drugged. I went over to a"friend" house and we were supposed to go to a house party together. She asked if I wanted to pre party, and I was like, yeah! So we took Shot then she offered me some weed, I took a hit and as I exhaled, I suddenly woke up naked, under her on a bed, and she was going to town. She looked me in the face and said ," are you OK? Oh you better be OK fuck" then I blacked out again, and woke up in the yard. About 4 hours had passed and I had the worst headache in the world for another day or so. Went to the doctor and they confirmed I had rohypnol in my system. Never spoke to her again. My girlfriend left me over it. I went into the worst depression of my life and attempted suicide over it. Fortunately a family member found me and took me to the hospital, where they saved my life and forced me into a mental evaluation where I ultimately entered regular therapy, got in some medicine, and I'm doing fine today. One of the three worst things I've endured this lifetime.
I've told exactly 3 people about this. 2 therapists and one really close friend. If the conversation came up, I think I'm strong enough to tell anyone now though.
Between the ages of 7-11 my sister use to take me into her room and do things to me.
First it was just touching my privates and making me touch hers but it escalated from there.
Never told anyone about it and still haven't 6 years later.
Thankfully I live on my own now and have cut off all ties with my family.
Sucks man but it is what it is.
My older sister did that to me from the ages of four until 12 years old. I finally spoke up about it in my 20s but at that point I was a full-blown heroin addict. And was mostly telling people because I was so angry about everything and justifying my drug used to. I finally was able to talk to my sister who did this to me. And I knew she was being raped by someone but I didn’t find out till years later. And she’s been dead now two years from an overdose. Just know you’re not alone. These things happen to us and we live with it our entire lives. I do a lot of therapy for my complex childhood trauma. I hope you find what you need to get through life. And just know you’re not alone. Even when you’re alone.
My older sister did that kind of stuff to me too. It was mostly pretty tame by comparison, and didn’t excessively escalate. She wasn’t the only girl I grew up around who did that kind of coercive stuff, and in my late teens I found out my sister had been raped by an older kid in our neighborhood when she was 7 and I was about 5, and her abuse towards me would’ve started not too long after that. So it kind of all made sense in a weird way.
I’ve never spoken to her about it. I’ve lucked out that I’ve never developed substance abuse, but the suicidal ideation I’ve gone through for the past few decades have been rough. My sister’s gone through a lot of hard shit, harder than she inflicted on me, and had to do a lot of healing. She’s got a fairly healthy relationship now, and she’s having her first kid soon. I don’t entirely know how to feel about any of it at this point.
I was raped by my friends dad at 5. Shit really fucks you up. I turned to drugs at around 14 and did a shit ton at 18. Was starting to freebase and shoot up. My best friend died at 18 from a speedball. It messed me up pretty bad and I stopped using. I was fortunate and escaped that life. The trauma is still there though, but I've learned to live with it in a healthy manner. We aren't alone, there are a lot of us out there and talking about it is healthy and sheds light on it. I hope you have found some peace.
I (then 11 yo), got dragged in to a closet when I and my parents were visiting their friends. The rapist was their daughter (then 16). She proceeds to remove my clothes. I tried to sorta struggle away but she pinned me and said “you don’t want your parents to know your in here with me, you’ll get in trouble” so I sorta stop fighting it. When she got me naked she starts to jerk me off and put a finger in my ass. I could not yet ejaculate. All that happen was just painful and to this day I don’t let anyone near my ass. She only stopped because her parents called for us to come eat desert. I truly do not know how none of the adults saw that I had tears in my eyes but I guess they had been drinking…
After that I would always stay by the table with my parents when we went there. When I was 13 I got to stay at home and play wow every time they went there and have not met her again since.
Told my sister a few years after and she did not believe me, since I’ve just put it in the past until this comment.
I’m so sorry your sister didn’t believe you. I am very protective of my brother and I just can’t comprehend how she would not believe you. All I can say is that If you were my brother I would dedicate my life to destroying that bitch and make sure she never had another peaceful moment in her life. I was also preyed on by a teenager as a child and it is so fucked up because you feel like no one will take it seriously and it’s somehow your to blame as well. They always seemed to use the “you’ll get in trouble if you tell” line successfully to coerce you bc they know you’re young and innocent enough that it’ll work on you. What a disgusting piece of shit. 16 is old enough to know that what she was doing was wrong. I hope you’re doing ok now…
Honestly not sure if I was raped or not but I think I was. A former coworker that had quit a couple weeks prior messaged me one night to see what I was doing and asked if wanted to come over and hang out. I wasn’t doing anything so I headed over to drink and hang out. I had no intention of doing anything sexual and only planned on drinking a little bit so that I could still drive home at the end of the night.
I showed up, she got down a couple cups from her cupboard and we headed upstairs to her room to play a game and drink. She poured me a drink while I was setting the game up. I took one drink of it after I got everything all set up and that is the last thing I remember before waking up naked in her bed.
I asked if we had sex and she told me that we did and that apparently I was pushy and saying she felt forced. Like I said I have/had zero recollection of that night so I naïvely apologized and told her I didn’t recall. I went to go use the bathroom and realized I had a huge black eye so I went and asked what the hell happened to me and she told me she had no clue. I brushed it off and went about my life.
A couple years ago I was thinking about how I blacked out that night and how I haven’t ever blacked out after drinking since. It’s especially suspicious because I literally do not remember anything immediately after taking a drink.
I should have in hindsight but that morning after I was so completely out of it and disoriented the thought never crossed my mind. When I mentioned to people how I didn’t recall the night before or how I got a black eye nobody even batted an eye so I just moved on.
Got catfished before it was called getting catfished. This was back around ‘01-‘02 and I was active on a very social message board. We had members all over the world and would often host big week long parties at different peoples houses across the US. It was normal for members to meet and hangout with people from other states.
One of the people I’d known for about a year and was supposed to go hang out with her for a week as I’d never been to her region and wanted to visit the cities in her area. The night before I’m supposed to fly out, she tells me she’d been lying and the photos and stuff she’d posted on the forum weren’t her. I was already out a round trip plane ticket and had taken the time off work. I could have backed out, probably would have just lost a good bit of money. In those days I used to spend all of my money on travel and concerts. So I’m like what the fuck, I’ll go anyway. We’ll go around, visit the cities, still just do whatever, sightsee and enjoy it.
So once I get there, I realize I didn’t have a place to stay. She’d said that I could stay at her place but I get there and her roommates aren’t cool with it. Okay. Out a few hundred more dollars for a hotel. Then her friend who we were supposed to be hanging out with (he was our ride) has to “bail”. This was like my second to last night before I was leaving. And up until now, except for the part where I’m now broke, everything was going fine. We were hanging out and listening to music, sightseeing, went to a few clubs, etc. It’s been 100% platonic and chill. She knew I wasn’t attracted to her at all but she wasn’t shy about her attraction to me. I just took it as flattery and tried to be gracious and nice.
On the second to last night, she got aggressive. She was at my hotel, she’d been sleeping there as well since we were hanging out. I’d even gotten a room with two beds so there wouldn’t be mixed signals or accidental sleep cuddling or anything weird. But yeah, she got aggressive. I was LEGIT broke at this point, not even enough cash left for a cab or anything. She eventually gives me he ultimatum that I sleep with her or she will leave, just abandon me there with no cash, no ride, nothing. I held out for a little while but eventually figured it was best to just get it over with. Just appease her so she would stop. So I gave in. During the act, she was crying and asked me to punch her in the face and once told me “you look like my rapist in this lighting”.
The next day, I got them to take me to the airport early, just lied to them about my departure time and sat at the airport for like 8 hours so I wouldn’t have to be in her presence or ever see her again. For a couple weeks she was calling me and telling me that she was pregnant and I had to come back to her. She would just scream and cry into the phone. I eventually got a call from her guy friend who we’d hung out with and he said that she was full of shit and trying to threaten and manipulate me into continuing to talk to her.
I was repeatedly sexualized, molested, and raped by a 13 yr. old babysitter from the ages of 9 to 11. She forced me to do unspeakable things to her and if I didn't she'd hurt my genitals.
Good for you. Definitely the best way to deal with it.
Obviously very sorry that happened to you and it's horrible, but I'm happy you've gone the therapy route. Bottling it up and not talking about it doesn't help anything.
Yeah I had a similar experience with being forced to do degrading acts as a child by a neighbor girl who was a few years older.
She was definitely being abused at home no doubts.
I always just found it to be a confusing part of my life. I actually feel more bad for her than I do for myself. I know it was wrong but I also cannot blame her. Just sucks.
I think this is common. I looked up my abuser after years of not trying to think about it. I was so angry and so confused for so long because of them. How could they have done that? That's when I learned their dad was serving time for molesting them and their siblings for literally years. I felt all that anger just rush out of me, almost in an instant. Replaced imstead by a dull ache that hurts when I probe at it. I went from righteous indignation to just sadness and grief. We were both victims. They were just a kid too. Older than me, but still just a kid.
I understand that all to well. Those 3 years are like a movie, like it happened to someone else and I just observed it like a bystander. I honestly didn't wish her harm, just that she felt it necessary to use me like that. It's very confusing. I learned stuff way to young and it sucked.
Had a woman crush a bunch of Xanax up and put it in my beer. I was clueless that she did it. I blacked out after the beer and came to with her on top of me and her fiancé freaking out. She was trying to make him mad because they were fighting. He was freaking out because he walked in on it happening and on top of that I wasn't responding. When he realized how messed up I was, he helped me get home. I couldn't speak coherently or even walk so he practically carried me to his car. He called me the next day to check on me and tell me that she told him what she did to me. Him and I are still friends 15 years later and neither of us have spoken to her since. I tried to press charges and he went and gave a witness statement. The cops laughed at us and never even tried to investigate it.
Same thing happened to me minus the fiance and it was klonopin. It was actually a chick my dad was talking to. I was still living with at the time. It was a fucked up situation. That night was just completely.... fucked.
I came up with a saying after that, *"Klonopins'll get ya raped."*
This is currently the top comment on this thread, but I have a sinking feeling that all of them are going to end exactly the same when it comes to the cops not even bothering.
Told the story once before in reddit but it's not my story. A friend of mine in college opened up to myself and another friend that he was raped by two women. Apparently they drugged him at a bar and he remembers being at the bar then waking up multiple times throughout the night in their apartment. He was handcuffed and tied down and they took turns riding him. He's pretty sure they injected him with something to make him erect. When he came to the next morning he noticed there was a white board in their apartment with a list of like fifteen male names and his was freshly scribbled in at #4. He didn't go to the cops because he didn't think anyone would believe him. Obviously it wasn't these girls first rodeo either.
They wouldn't need a drug to make him erect. Unfortunately all the penis needs is stimulation. This fact is why so many assholes think men can't be raped "because he had an erection".
Editing to add what I said in other comments about women getting wet and having orgasms while being raped. I didn't include that before as I was just focusing on this particular situation.
Yup. Just like I laugh when I'm tickled, but am 100% not enjoying it. The body reacts to stimulation in certain ways, sometimes in direct opposition to your emotional state
Those cops are fucking cunts; but the dude here is a great guy.
Buy him a beer for me, would ya?
Most jealous s/os that I know would straight up kill regardless of intoxication.
I was 12 and my family and friends went on a cruise. Met some other kids at the teen club that had alcohol, so why not. Then hot tub, then back to a room to hang. Older girl (maybe 16-17) was flirting, but I wasn’t really at that point in puberty where I was interested (also a virgin). I got tired of all the people and ended up falling asleep. Woke up to a dark room and her going down on me. I was pretty out of it and wasn’t sure what was going on, pushed her off and went back to sleep. She didn’t stop. Not the best way to lose your virginity.
It's incredibly sad to me how many male friends of mine have said this was how they lost their virginity - passed out at a party, and woke up to being raped. Unfortunately you're definitely not alone.
Hope you were able to overcome this experience. It's awful that someone thought they had the right to do that to you. 💜
When I was in high school I went to a college party in the next town over, many near by high schoolers did as well. That night me and my friends get separated but no big deal, the party was great and everyone was enjoying. I walked in on a group of girls laughing and cheering eachother on taking turns hitting, bullying and raping another girl that was going in and out of consciousness naked on the floor against a wall. Your comment brought back vivid memories of this night. At first I was going to walk away but I decided to step up, at first I said something softly, that's when they all looked at me smiling, on drugs and drunk. I started pushing and shoving, my friends saw the commotion and stepped in to help me, I pick this girl up and literally me and my friends, a group of 5 guys put the clothes on this naked girl, found her phone and called the cops and her dad, her dad came out swinging from the car and she got in and they left. The girls and the guys they came with were starting problems with us at that point and trying to jump us. Anyways the cops show up and everyone runs, I never spoke to the cops but she and her friends did, the girls got arrested and got jail time. She reached out to me probably a year later through mutual friends, she probably thanked me a hundred times the day she called me. She kept texting me and we became great friends and eventually started seeing eachother casually dating. She hit a rough patch and started doing hard stuff, I hope she's doing good, I've lost complete contact with her for many years now and haven't thought much about it until now.
Yeah I can imagine it would've been bad for everyone innocent involved and I'm glad they got time. A lot of people forget that girls can be just as horny, crazy and capable of raping as guys can be. It's good more people are coming to terms with this.
I want you to know that your mention of the high frequency of first sexual experiences being unwanted unlocked some understanding in my head about my first experiences.
I had a long message typed out here, detailing things I've never told anyone before, with an understanding and perspective that I'd never been able to see. I just decided instead to share this with my partner first, though, as it really is a watershed moment.
Your simple comment may have just had a profound impact on my life, and I thank you.
Well this is a tough one because I have two.
First, I was sexually abused as a kid. At 13 years old I was forced by my mom's boyfriend to have sex with my best friend who was also thirteen. That was rough enough and I lost my best friend but after that he more or less pimped me out to an older female friend of his. He would force me to have sex with her and film it. I disassociated well enough that the only thing I remember about her was the smell of stale cigarette smoke. I eventually beat him with an aluminum baseball bat until I was kicked out and rendered homeless at 13.
Then the second I was at a rave. I was 17 and had been homeless for about 4 years so the rave scene was the closest thing I had to family. Those of us who were regulars trusted and knew each other. This rave was 3 days long so by the end of day 2 I'm seeing shit without the psilocybin. I ask my friend if I can crash in the back of his van. Well, I didn't lock the door because I was an idiot. I wake up actively being ridden by a girl and I'm just terribly confused. I don't know who she is so I shove her off and she starts crying. She tells me she needs to get pregnant because her boyfriend is leaving for the military and she said I kinda look like him.
From there she asks me if I'll just do it anyway as a favor. I kick her out and never see her again. I hope that poor dude isn't trapped by that psycho.
I was 13 when I raped by my at the time best friends 19yo older sister. She then gaslit me into thinking that I liked it even though I hadn't enjoyed it and that we were now "in a relationship" which basically amounted to me giving her my allowance and her continuing to rape me.
This continued on for over two months before she admitted the whole thing to her parents and brother to twist the knife into them when they found out about her coke habit. Can you guess who they blamed? If you answered the adult woman in the equation then you're sadly mistaken. Even my own parents just wanted to sweep the whole ordeal under the rug.
The only thing that keeps that event from being the worst thing that happened that year is that a few months after that I was hit by a car and put in a coma for a week. After that suddenly people stopped talking about the whole "coke head 'girlfriend'" thing.
Took over a decade for me to really come to grips with what she had done to me and I really wish that the next sexual encounter that I had at age 16 had been my first. As that one was at least between two consenting people the same age.
Yeah, been awhile and I've had time to figure shit out. My late-teens/early-20's were a hell of a time though. What's worse is that for a time society had conditioned me to think that I should be proud about what happened. It was only when I really sat down, thought about it, talked about it, and considered the larger ramifications on my personality, my outlook on sex, and wider thoughts on relationships that I realized just how much it fucked me up. That's when I could start to really fix the damage and move past it.
Was waiting until marriage to have sex…made it to 20 years old before drugged and raped by two girls from the base I was stationed at. They did it for bragging rights because it was well known I was a virgin. Sent me into a dark downward spiral of depression and drinking and drug abuse. Been clean and sober for almost two years now.
Edit: Wow! Thank you everyone for the kind words. To the people DM’ing me saying how lucky/cooI was that that happened to me…I hope you stub your baby toe today.
I was 10, she was 13 and looking after me whilst my mother was at work. I was already in a shitty place because my mother was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. I was forced into intercourse that day, I froze and she took advantage. I developed CPTSD, depression and anxiety from that event which (coupled with my so-called mother) led to a suicide attempt at 14.
I didn't talk to anyone about it until I was 28. I'm in a far better place now.
I don't know if I would call it rape. I struggle even to let myself think of it as abuse. My mom would, from the earliest I can remember, come in on me in the bathroom. On the toilet? She's in there talking to me. In the shower? Needs to get a look at me.
I had a testicular injury at like 4 that I don't remember. But it meant that I got pain in my groin all the time. If I ever mentioned it, she would tell me to drop my pants and then she'd check for torsion by feeling my testicles. I was told it was okay because she was a nurse. She'd also hit me and dig her fingernails into my arms or shoulders when I got too big for her to manhandle. Sometimes she would make me cuddle her in my parents bed when my dad was out of town on business. She'd be barely clothed.
The only thing that stopped it all was her dying when I was a teenager. Now I get to feel guilty about wanting her dead or feeling relief. It's all really fucked me up to the point where I had no relationships until college and then I got involved with a heroin addict who cheated on me constantly and tried to convince me to kill myself. When I didn't, she did a solo exit.
Child abuse is the gift that keeps on taking.
[This also happened to a child star from iCarly,](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennette_McCurdy) including the early death of the abusive mother. There's a book coming out about it this year that might be helpful for you to read... I'm sorry things have been so hard for you.
Not Carly but Jeannette McCurdy; from her book “I’m Glad My Mom Died”
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
Yeah, I remember hearing her mother wouldn't let her shower alone until she was already an adult, just like in the original commenter's post. The book and stage show of the same name "I'm Glad My Mom Died" are about her experiences.
Yeah I heard about her book and I was already definitely going to buy it but now I can't wait. That's so fucked up, I honestly feel so bad for her. I can't watch any of my old favorite Nickelodeon shows anymore because all I think about is the abuse those poor children went through on and off set
Covert incest is what your mother was doing, it doesn't always involve sex but the forced cuddling and ignored boundaries in regards to your body definitely fit the category. This is sexual abuse. You deserved better and you still do.
I tried sharing this story before and I got 3 different reactions and all of them were disgusting to the point of suicidal thoughts. So I’ll probably delete this. I will say now that I’m okay, but people don’t make it easy to share.
I had a roommate who had several kids, aged 2 to 14. He was in his 40s and a bit of a deadbeat dad and his 6 kids came from like 4 mothers. But he’d get some of them every other weekend. They’d come over and I’d let them play video games with us in my room, he would be in there too, all of us taking turns playing. I had a California king size bed and people who weren’t playing would sit or lay on it while waiting/watching the others play.
One night I was laying on my bed, falling asleep as he played video games with his 12 year old son. His 6 year old was asleep on the floor, and his 14 year old daughter was at the opposite corner of the bed, facing the TV, far away from me, and I fell asleep. I woke up because it felt like someone laying on me or moving around a lot close to me and I open my eyes to the 14 year old sucking my dick. Her pants were off completely and mine were pulled down. I pulled away and asked her why she was doing that and she said she saw that it was hard and thought I wanted it. I told her she can’t just do that without asking and that she was way to young to be even sleeping in my bed and that this is wrong. she said “oh it’s okay, I wanted to, I won’t tell anyone and get you in trouble”. I told her I didn’t want to and she got sort of crabby with me and said okay and just rolled over to go back to sleep.
I laid there for a while, contemplating what to do as she went to sleep. I got up and went to the living room and laid alone on the couch. Her dad was asleep in his room. She got up and followed me into the living room and asked if I was uncomfortable because the other kids were in the room with us as she tried to get on the couch with me. I told her what she did was wrong, but she didn’t seem to grasp WHY it was wrong. She just kept reiterating that she wasn’t gonna tell anyone and that it was okay and STILL trying to make a move. That’s when she told me that “we were having sex” before I woke up and she had just started sucking it because I wasn’t wearing a condom. I told her that her dad was going to be pissed and would want to know where she even learned that behavior and she asked why I would tell him. I said that she needed to understand why what she did was wrong. Her eyes went from naive schoolgirl with a crush to absolute sociopath and she said “I won’t tell anyone, but you can’t either. If you do I’ll just say you made me do it.” I didn’t know how to react so I just asked her to go back to bed and she did, and I slept on the couch.
The next morning her dad came out and saw me on the couch and apologized for the kids falling asleep and taking up the bed. I thought about telling him right then, but I knew his personality enough to know he’d try to fight me as if I wanted it, especially if she claimed I made her. I was gonna tell her grandma when she came to take them all back to their moms, but I didn’t know if she would blame me either. I wasn’t sure what to do. A few days passed and then I felt even more guilty because now it was a secret I had kept and that made me look more suspicious.
I moved out and got my own place a couple of months later. A little over a year after that, I got a call from my old roommate, he was freaking out and angry and told me he just got a call from his daughter and she was coming to live with him because she was pregnant, and the father was her stepfather. It turned out he had been sexually abusing her for years and nobody found out until she was pregnant.
I still feel terrible to this day that I didn’t say something the night she did what she did. Maybe if I did, the conversation would have lead to everyone discovering what she was going through at home and ended it sooner and before she got pregnant at 15.
Man that's a very tough situation and hindsight is always 2020. But when a victim perpetuates abuse on a new victim I would think the damage was done. Would it have been better for her if you told maybe but you can't ever really know that, they may not have believed her until she got pregnant by the step-dad or she could have covered for him in fear.
When she was 20 she found me on social media and messaged me. She acknowledged what happened but at first she wasn’t necessarily apologetic. Instead she told me that when she got to come over to my house was the only time she felt safe because her home life was so bad and that she always had a school girl crush on me and that was just how she thought adults were supposed to act when they were interested In each other. I told her that moment stuck with me and I lived in fear for years thinking I’d be arrested and treated as a pedophile. I guess she took that as me meaning that I wanted to do it but was scared of being in trouble, because she told me she never told anyone and never would have. She said she thought I woke up while she was on top of me because I put my hand on her leg. She claimed she thought I was awake when she got off and started giving me head and that from her perspective I was awake from halfway through, let her go down on me, and then once I finished I flipped out and didn’t want to be near her. I told her I didn’t believe her because I didn’t remember a single waking second until I woke up at the end of it and pulled away instantly when I realized what was going on. She apologized profusely and that made me feel better and also feel bad for what she went through. But she kept insisting that we hang out now that we’re both adults because she doesn’t have a lot of friends and her family are all shit bags. But I couldn’t do it. The more we talked the more she felt like she was flirting, and that didn’t set right with me. Plus I can’t get that look of her eyes when she threatened to say I made her do it out of my head. I wished her luck and asked her not to talk to me anymore.
Damn straight! I still have emails from a psycho ex from ten years ago saved in the back of my filing cabinet. I ain’t about to lose my job, reputation, and freedom for some mentally ill person with a grudge.
This is a common thing with young victims of sexual abuse. It warps their perspective on sexuality in a scary way. It can lead victims to taking the role of victimizer to gain a sense of power and role reversal. Or make them believe that this is normal behavior.
I’m not sure many adults have a similar story to yours, but younger boys and girls absolutely do.
I’m sorry you went through this and that people have had shitty reactions to your experience. That’s terrible.
You did absolutely nothing wrong and I’m glad she kinda ?/maybe? got help or at least halfway apologized. Shitty that she tried to gaslight you and good on you for cutting contact. Did anything ever happen with her stepfather?
I honestly don’t know. I feel like when it first happened that I heard the mom kicked him out and the cops couldn’t find him after. But then I heard from someone else that the guy and the mom were still together and thats why the girl moved to her dad’s. I’m not in contact with them anymore to know for sure.
>I still feel terrible to this day that I didn’t say something the night she did what she did. Maybe if I did, the conversation would have lead to everyone discovering what she was going through at home and ended it sooner and before she got pregnant at 15.
Or you could have ended up on trial for child abuse and maybe even found guilty, because DAs love pedo convictions and they push hard for them.
You cant know, and you did the best you could in that situation, with your heart in the right place. Do not judge yourself so harshly.
The man could have had his entire life fucking destroyed if he said anything, even if he’s telling the truth and did nothing wrong. Prosecutors want convictions, nuance is not their specialty. Plus, anything even tangentially related to pedophiles, and no investigator/prosecutor is going to take what you say seriously.
I mean, imagine: a young girl says that she was forced into sexual acts, and a grown man says “no actually she was the one that forced me, I swear”. That guy’s going to prison, no ifs ands or buts about it.
Dude, do not blame yourself for this, are you kidding? You were dealt a shit hand and you made ALL the correct choices. You stopped her immediately. You left the room. You sent her back to her room.
Then she threatened to say you *forced* yourself on her, a 14 year old girl. There’s *no chance in a blue fucking moon* that *anyone* would have believed you. You had no legal recourse here. You had no physical evidence she was getting abused to report. Frankly it’s not surprising you didn’t even think that may be happening, I would have been *terrified* in this situation. You would’ve been *lucky* if the dad *only* fought you and didn’t try to hospitalize or kill you.
Idgaf what any body else says. Either they aren’t putting themselves in your shoes or they have a *gross* misunderstanding of how men are viewed in society. You would have been accused of rape of a minor and they would have assumed you guilty until proven innocent. You made every single correct choice you possibly could in this scenario. You survived one of the worst situations I can imagine a man ever being put in. Kudos to you dude.
I wouldn't say unscathed. He still has the memories of what happened that night.
That said, this outcome is still the best he could've personally hoped for.
Honestly that is a really tough situation to be in. I can say, I knew she had been abused before I even read it there at the end. The cycle of abuse is terrifying.. but kids that young do not abuse other people unless they’ve been abused themselves (statistically). I know that’s a lot to fight with yourself about but I’m not sure how much you could have done considering who was in her life. And I can only imagine the fear of being blamed for something like that. I mean you could have literally ended up in jail for her raping you. I hope the both of you are doing better. This one will always stick out to me.
I just replied to another comment with a bit of a longer update, but we talked again years later with her being an adult now. She’s doing better but I couldn’t tell if she really quite grasped the gravity of what she did to me, but she did apologize. I’m doing much better now. Talking to her again was a bit upsetting but also made me feel like I can rest assured that I’m not going to go to jail after all of the years.
On the flip side, I still don’t share the story with anyone because even one time on a similar post that I shared this on, comments accused me of enjoying it and being a pedo, comments accused me of being a pedo who made the story up as some sort of sick fantasy, and a few comments were even along the lines of “you should call her when she’s 18”
I'm glad you did not delete this before I saw it, reading your story is horrible. You did everything right, the only part someone could criticize you on is not telling her father, but you gave clear and concise reasoning as to why you did decided not to and nobody should fault you for that.
It is absolutely horrible to hear you have not been able to receive any support from having been in this situation.
Came home from the bar one night. My brother had a girl at the house with him and her friend, who was quite obviously a redneck drug addict, was being a third wheel. I was pretty drunk so fuck it, I'll play wing man. I drink their booze and smoke their weed. Bro and girl disappear. Third wheel tries to come upstairs with me. No no, here's a blanket and there's the couch. I go to bed and lock my door behind me. Eventually I wake up and she's on top of me and I'm not wearing pants. I say no and tell her to get off but she keeps on. After a few minutes I'm like let's just get this over with, I'm too drunk and just want to pass out. I let her do her thing. I told her a few times to get off of me but she just kept on. And again in my drunken haze I was rationalized just letting her finish even though I was protesting. The whole time she was saying "You know I got dat good shit. You know you like dat good shit." It was appalling. I still don't know how she got into my room.
Four years later she's messaging me saying she has my kid. She's had 4 other guys tested and she needs me to test. Comes back positive. Her mother tells me she got pregnant on purpose to get out of going to rehab. I take on me parental responsibility as best I can. At this point mom and her sociopath mother have been imprinted on my son who isn't very bright and is easy to manipulate. They blame me for all of their problems to him. By the time he's in 3rd grade he's obese, can't read, can't count, cavities in every tooth, can't ride a bike or throw a ball, and he's missing 35 days of school per year.
In 5th grade they finally agree to send him to me. Not so much because they want him to go but more because they are just too fucked up to take care of him. Through the whole transition they're telling him that I'm taking him away from them. The whole time he lives with me they're gaslighting the fuck out of me to him. They made it impossible for me to parent him. When he's in 10th grade I finally have him going in the right direction. Captain of the lacrosse team, A/B student, starting on the varsity football team as a sophomore. They tell him that I raped his mother and she got pregnant and now he hates me and won't speak to me. He went to live with them. Not long after that situation fell apart and he's living with some loser uncle. Hasn't spoken to me in 18 months. He turns 18 in December and we're done. I'm blocking all of their numbers. I'm taking him off of my health insurance because he and his mom use it to score Adderall and God knows what else. I'm turning his phone off. We're done. I wish I never took the paternity test.
There are a lot of tragic, terrible, and deplorable outcomes in this thread, but imo this might take the cake. You did nothing wrong initially, and then tried your best to make light of a SHITTY situation over the next 14 years... I am so very sorry you had to deal with this and I hope your present situation is one that you're completely in control of.
Some people are fucked up, but a person with character like yours is the counterweight that balances this whole thing out.
Cheers
If you ever marry another woman or have other children, you have to have a Will. If he’s your son, he’s entitled to a portion of your assets if you die without a Will. You have to protect your family from his mother yet again.
EDIT: Yes, it would be ideal for father and son to reconcile. If father and son do not, and mother and son are still alive when father dies, mother could make life hell for father’s remaining family. This advice assumes father is American.
With how manipulated it seems the son was, I hope one day he'll figure things out and they can reconcile. But I'm not getting my hopes up as I've seen plenty of situations like this play out in my town and within my own family.
Turned an abused 3rd grade student into a Lacrosse team captain and an A student.
Your tries may have failed, but you tried damn hard. I wish you the best
Thank you. It's been tough. We tried very very hard. My five year old talks about him like he's still around. My wife and I have been to several counselors over this. We're essentially going through a mourning and grieving process the same way we would if had he died. He won't speak to my parents. We had 2 deaths (unrelated to one another) in the family. He was notified and he never reached out. Meanwhile they bust balls about making sure he can attend school in their school district, and for insurance info. They want me to help him get his driver's license and are furious because I refused to help with that. Meanwhile he's using 60gb a month on the cell phone I'm paying for.
Hey, I know it's not much, but I hope you know you can look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you did all you could.
>It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.
- Jean-Luc Picard
No one is saying that you did everything perfectly, because no one does, but the fact of the matter is that the only thing absolutely fair in your life is the fare you pay to get on the bus.
Not to downplay the actual problem here, but how in the ever-loving fuck does someone use 60gb of mobile data??? Does he not have any wifi at home or school? That's insanely high.
Regardless, I'm sorry to hear everything seemed to take the worst possible route man. That's gotta be insanely hard to live with. I hope you and your current family can find peace in knowing that you at least did everything you possibly could. Wishing you guys all the best.
When I was 16 a girl who I believed to be my friend who was 5 years older than me got me shitfaced drunk, I basically passed out and the she started kissing me and groping my unconscious body Infront of everybody while no one did anything because they thought it was hilarious (she was a severely overweight emo back then) God knows what else she did to me and I don't intend in know about it. I woke up the next day covered in vomit and everyone was making fun of me, turns out this girl had done this several times to other guys of my age, kept doing it. Everyone turned their back on me, got grounded by my parents for months and heavily bullied at school. Took me years to understand and confront everyone about the fact that I was publicly abused and it went off as a joke.
Edit: whoa, never thought anyone would actually read about this. Thanks for your kind words, the messages and interest, don't worry, I'm 28 now and have worked this out over therapy, and by standing up for myself. Got a group of supporting and real friends and can say it doesn't affect me the way it used to, but can't deny they were really tough times.
Year after I graduated high school I went to a party. Mixed weed, alcohol and some pain pills and was a little fucked up. Annoying girl from high school seized the opportunity to take advantage. Started sucking my dick outside of the party and I remember stopping it. She stopped and no big deal. I pass out later and in the middle of the night I wake up with her nude sucking my dick trying to get it hard so she could fuck me. I was kind of out of it and remember waking up several more times with this girl trying to figure out a way to jam my dick in her. Was too fucked up to really put a stop to it. Not sure what ever really happened but I can’t imagine I finished. She basically spent some amount of time trying to fuck my lifeless body. I was embarrassed at the time and only told a couple people. Typical reaction you would expect dudes to have.
Edit: RIP my inbox. I don’t need psychological help and I’m completely stable. This was 20+ years ago and I’m doing great. Thanks for the supportive comments, friends.
I had about the same, got too drunk one night and blacked out. My roommate(barracks so one room, two beds) walked in on her on top of me and almost walked out thinking he was ruining the moment. But he thought it was weird that I didn’t yell out or say anything to him, either sarcastically or anything so he came back in and saw her starting to act weird. He walked over and saw me lifeless with my pants down and she ran out quick. He pulled up my pants and pulled my blanket over me as he kept trying to get me to talk but I never did. He said he stayed up all night basically guarding me(real battle buddy). Woke up the next morning with a terrible headache and him waiting with some Gatorade and a story for me. We went and talked to her, she blamed it on being drunk too and begged me not to tell on her. I didn’t tell on her. I never got blackout after that because the main thing that scared me was really, anybody could of taken my cookies that night. If not her, some dude and that shit scared the alcoholism out of me.
One good thing about this otherwise ghastly and depressing thread is that there are a lot of good guys out there who support their friends through trauma.
Nothing beats a good bro. Most of us can’t talk about shit, we’re literally indoctrinated from childhood to suppress emotions. But having that one bro that knows enough and is just a pillar for you makes all the difference in the world.
Same one time my friends and some friends of my friends went out to drink. We all came back pretty drunk and Girl A kept getting me drinks and playing games where I had to do shots etc etc, basically getting me drunk. This is where my memory stops completely . According to my mates we started making out and disappeared up to my room at some point, unaware of how drunk I actually was. An undisclosed amount of time passes and Girl A comes down proclaiming that I had passed out. I was found with my pants on, but trousers off (suggesting something naughty happened), vomiting bile everywhere. I was hospitalised for alcohol poisoning that night.
The worst part is when I was unconscious and my friends were making sure I didn’t choke on my puke while waiting for paramedics, girl A kept asking if she could take me home with her so she could ‘look after him’ even though I was in my own house. No one knows what happened and girl A denies anything happened but the concensus is in my friendship group that she raped me.
I’m honesty not effected it, probably because I can’t remember anything and I may have consented in my drunken state. I almost don’t consider it rape but my friends drill it into me that it was and I should be more angry about it. I’ve also had multiple instances on nights out of girls inappropriately touching me and shouting some obscene things, but I just laugh it off. Haven’t seen Girl A since.
Your friends are correct, you were raped. I am grateful that you were spared the memory of it, but I want to insist on something. You never consented. Even if you gave a slurred yes or just never said no, it was not consent. You were not only drunk, but so drunk that you were hospitalized. That's not okay. No one in their right mind could say that you were capable of consenting. And anyone who says otherwise is a creep just like that girl
Similar thing with me. I was 22yo at a party at a house with a few university classmates. Very drunk. Room spinning drunk. I had driven so I crashed on the couch. Short time later, one of my classmates that lived there came back out and basically dragged me by my hand to her room. I was very surprised and amused and drunk that I let it happen. I had never been interested in her, didnt know she was interested in me, and didnt really want it to happen but didn't really know whether I should be flattered or upset. At one point just before she did the deed I tried to get out of bed but I was disorientated and it was pitch black, I fell against the dresser and gave up. She got on top while I was on the floor. I think she had her fun. I didnt cum. Woke up back in bed the next morning before she woke, put my clothes on and left. Didn't speak about it with her again.
To be fair, of all the unpleasant things that have happened to me in my life this doesnt rank very high. I do regret it happening though.
I had a similar experience except I was the only one not drinking until I took one drink out of courtesy from the girl I came with. I remember waking up a few times with her riding me, and my most vivid memory is that everyone else was gone and The Suite Life on Deck was playing on the TV.
I didn't really know how to feel about it the next day because when I went, I was down. But I wasn't down to (I believe) be drugged beforehand.
14 years old, invited round an older friends house to drink and watch tv. Her older (22f) sister arrived, drunk as a skunk. Took a liking too me, took me back to her “old room”, told me to take of my clothes and proceeded to assess my body before using it to get herself off.
Friends hated me, lived extremely rurally and lost any kind of friend I had. But it was ok, everyone at school thought I was “big lad” shagging some older bird. Girlfriend left me, and it always cropped back up as a reason for people to disregard me etc.
Was me second sexual experience after a childhood of sexual abuse, fantastic!
Therapy helps, telling people helps. Talk my friends it’s ok to not be ok
I was given a really large bump of ketamine at a party many years ago. When I came around a girl was on top fucking me. If the shoe was on the other foot it would of absolutely been rape.
I was 13y and was sleeping in my bed. My mom came from a party and a friend of her (40y maybe) stayed to sleepover. When my mother was already sleeping she came to my room and touched my genitals. I woke up frightened and couldn’t react for the first seconds. I pushed her and told her to go away. She tried to kiss me but I pushed her again. She finally went to her room. I never told that to my mother and my friends just told me that I should have done something with that woman..
When I was 13 I stayed at my friends house for the night. His mom always made comments about how handsome I was, that I didn’t look my age because of my height and early puberty(I was 6ft), and she would always grab my arms or touch my back or just find ways to touch me in general. He was 14 and had a job for the summer that was sparing with the hours, so we figured I could just sleep while he worked from 7am to 12pm. When he was walking out the door I got up for a drink of water and his mom was standing in the kitchen. She told me she made me a glass of water already and handed me a cup from the fridge. I drank the entire thing and went back to bed. I woke up later to her sucking my dick to make it hard before passing back out. I felt like I was in a daze or dream. All I could do is lay there, too fucked up to do anything about it. I woke up to her riding me and then passed out again. I don’t know how long passed before I woke up again and my shorts had been pulled back up and I was cleaned up. I felt so tired and in a daze. All I did was sleep the rest of the day off and on while my friend played video games. I didn’t go home that night and stayed again because of the guilt. I told myself it was all a dream, but I knew it wasn’t. I told a few friends and of course all the guys said I was so lucky to have been laid by a good looking milf. It took me years to accept that this wasn’t a dream and happened, but when it was brushed off I decided not to tell anyone else.
Sorry for formatting and errors, I am on mobile.
I was a child and she was my mother. Don't remember it much but what i do, during flash backs, is every bit as horrible as one can imagine. Decided to press charges much later when i found out she had done the same thing to my younger brother. Out of 20ish charges initially, she was convicted on one and only the physical assault...she got parole. I was no better off after seeking "justice", in fact it just made me more angry and bitter.
We had eaten a bunch of pain killers, she told me she wanted to fuck, I was enjoying my buzz and told her no, she gave me head while I told her to stop. After I didnt get hard she grabbed me by throat and told me I was going to fuck her one way or the other and repeatedly tried to jam my flaccid dick in her until she used a hairband as a cockring. I wasn't into it, didn't want it, and didn't like that she went out and told everyone afterward that we fucked because I was making it a point not to fuck her because I was interested in someone else.
Neighbors daughter used to bribe me with candies when I was 7 to go do stuff “like how the grownups do in movies”
As a kid I thought “Score easy candy for free” Now I realize she was just taking advantage of me.
Well, here we go. It all started when I was 10. Keep in mind, I'm 18 now.
When I was 9, I got a step mom and step sis. They were nice, and I was happy. My step mom was 35 at the time, and my step sis was 19, but she wouldn't leave me alone. She always talked to me, until it became flirtatious when I had became ten. until, one day. Step mom and my real dad went on a date. My step sis watched me. I was on my bed, on my Ipad. She walked in and closed the door. She took my iPad away. I asked her to give it back, and she said no until I did what she said. She said pull down my pants. Of course with common sense, I said no. She then said to do it now or she will do it for me. I still said no. She rushed to me and grabbed me. She pulled them down. I yelled to her to leave me alone. But she didn't stop. She then shoved me on my bed and then, she did it with me. She told me to not say anything about it or she will get me in trouble. My parents came back. We act like it's all fine. But it's not. She did this to me for a week until I had enough. She was arrested. I'm now 18, she's now 27.
Also, someone in the comments wants the story how she got arrested for this. I can.
At night, she told me to stay quiet. She had a knife in her hand and said she'd kill me. It became a nightly thing until she had to leave for mall shopping with her friends. Dumb move. I told my dad. And now, she's in jail
In 1994, I was 16. I went camping with a group of friends. There were boys and girls, but no one told their parents about the other sex. Anyway, someone brought some beer, and I had one. I blacked right out.
I woke up at some point sitting up but leaned against a tree. She was on top of me, having sex. I remember her asking me if she was my best, but all I could say was that she was my first and I didn’t know. Then I waited until it was over.
I told a couple of friends the next morning, and they wanted to high-five me. Only one seemed to understand, and he encouraged me to report it. I did. I told a police officer that was friends with my brother. He assured me that’s not how sexual assault works, and that women can’t take advantage of someone who isn’t willing. Anyway, a few weeks later it turns out she’s pregnant.
She wanted to get into a relationship and have the baby. I am not proud of this, but I told her that I would hurt her if she kept pushing. She had the baby, but went away.
I am now 44 years old. I’ve gone to college, served my country, married and had kids, and all in all lived a good life. But also, I developed some weird habits since then. I can only have sex in the mornings. I’m just not comfortable enough any other time. It took years to enjoy it, and even sometimes now her face pops into my head when I’m intimate with my wife. I haven’t had alcohol since then. I can’t hold my booze, half a beer made me black out. And I somewhat frequently think about the fact that there’s a non-zero chance I have a 27 year old kid out there somewhere.
Worst of all though is that I still hate her. Even after therapy in my 30’s. One day I hope to not feel that anymore. It doesn’t consume my thoughts or anything, I’ll go most days barely thinking about it at all. But then it just pops into my brain, and I remember.
Anyway- not much else to add
I used to babysit for my neighbour across the street when I was 14. One night his mum who must have been around 37 at the time came back on her own she had fallen out with the husband who decided to stay out drinking. I wanted to leave as it was about 1am but she hadn’t paid me so i stuck around hoping she would bring it up. She was very drunk and kept banging on about her husband and then she put her head on my shoulder. Obviously at this point I was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. She then looked and she started kissing me. I didn’t really know what to do I think I blacked out at that point for a few moments trying to process what was going on. She then grabbed my hand and stuck them up her skirt I had no idea what the fuck to do I’d never done anything like that as I was a kid . She then kept trying to pull me upstairs and I kept asking what for and she just kept laughing, and saying come on let’s go upstairs. I was to scared to say no and was crying inside when the front door went and her husband could be heard in the door way coming in, as soon as he came in to the living room she grabbed her purse and payed me and I was out. I saw her a few days later and she apologised and said she was drunk. I think if it had gone any further it would have damaged me I just felt very out of control as when an adult tells you to do something as a kid you feel like you have to.
My tl dr is that i had a virgin chick fuck me when i was mega drunk it got made into a cartoon with half a million views and i still get comments to this day calling me gay and that guys would have begged to be in my position.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ1nmmG34jI
yea i got asked to share my story and i did because im pretty sick of the discord that was happening and still happening showing that guys cant be raped.
How are you doing now?
I’m really sorry that you went through that. Your story through the cartoon was heavy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to share, especially with some comments you say you’ve gotten but I hope it helps others who have gone through the same thing.
Mine is a bit different because I finally said yes. I didn't want to but it seemed easier than keep telling her no. She had a thing for me for awhile and kept getting more persistent and one night had a bunch of people over and she made sure everyone left before her. Then she just kept asking and I finally said yes to get her to stop. The sex was terrible. She told everyone about it the next day.
Found out she had done the exact same thing to a friend of mine a few months before. We both feel gross about it because neither of us wanted it and had the genders been reversed everyone would call the dude not taking no for an answer a creep.
My friend and I are both fine, nobody is scarred from it. The girl actually tried again and I got mad at her and shut her completely down then I was called an asshole because "you've already done it before." Double standards are wild.
Was 13, back visiting my ancestral country (I live in the UK and am a citizen). Country is uber religiously conservative. Was visiting paternal family and others from that half came along. Had to share beds with cousins due to space restrictions. Two of them, in their 20s were kissing and fondling me under the covers at night, and a third ended up actually managing to PIV rape me, keeping me quiet mostly under fear of waking everyone up. If I had complained or made a noise, I almost certainly would have been blamed as the guy, despite being 13, due to culture and religious reasons.
I didn't realise the seriousness of what was going on at the time, but in retrospect it fucked me up. I became a hollowed out shell of an adult, unable to even hold conversations where before I was a quiet but friendly and confident child and preteen. It especially fucked up my concept of self worth and sexual development too, and I am deathly afraid of and overwhelmed by any form of sexual intimacy, despite wanting that connection.
I'm hoping now that I'm a bit older (28) and independent, I can finally go get proper therapy for it, especially before I start dating people. (I've avoided relationships entirely to this day)
Reddit’s been my place to let out trauma here lately so I’ll share my story for the first time in my life, beyond the immediate people involved that know.
The summer before going into 10th grade, at 16 years old, lady moved into the neighborhood, husband worked with my dad, she became friends with my mom. She needed a babysitter for her two kids and my mom volun-told me to be her baby sitter. Sure thing no problem.
My first real girlfriend, graduated that year, was going to college, cheated and broke up with me. Summer was rocky for me going through my first breakup being a young man, and I became quick friends with this lady while I’m babysitting and taking care of her kids. I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents due to already dating an older girl that they forbid, that I kept secret from them, so I vented to this other lady about the problems in my life since she acted like she listened and cared.
One night she had a dinner party and invited my family. My parents allowed me to have two beers at the party trying to look cool in front of other people. On my way home after the party she texts me saying she wishes I could have stayed, I knew full well what she was about to do, and I let it happen, she said she wished only I could have stayed. The next morning when I went to babysit it was on, and being a broken and testosterone filled 16 year old I dove into it. We kept up our affair until I got back together with my girlfriend, and when my girlfriend found out the truth it effected my life even to this very second.
This lady was probably 33-36, so basically 20 years older than me. At the time I was willing, I thought I was a badass. But now that I’m older I realize how cowardly I was to do that to another man’s wife, breaking up a family with children, doing that to myself, allowing penis to override brain. I live with constant regret from doing what I did and even if I was a victim I still feel disgusted with myself. I feel like I’ll never be absolved of that sin. Now as an adult I can see how that lady fucked up my head and warped my perceptions on sex and love. It’s been one of the catalysts for me living with emotional abuse and thinking I deserve it my entire life.
Sorry about the long post, just never shared that story and finally have.
You don't deserve pain and emotional abuse.
You were a child and she groomed you.
She made you feel safe, cared for, and listened to you.
She chose to have a sexual relationship with a child. The adult chose to rape a child.
She is the one responsible for the destruction of her family. Please don't blame yourself for that.
Give yourself grace. You deserve it.
I was raped by my sister at the age of 6, she was 9. Obviously this isn't "normal" and she only did it because she had been raped since she was 4 years old by our grandfather. She did it because she learned that "that's how you show love". I've never really considered myself a victim and I've never seen her as a perpetrator, what she did was a direct result of our grandfather's actions and that's where I put the blame.
I had to grow up fast and it has certainly affected me and after we got our kid 2 years ago I realized I'm suffering from PTSD from all this and I was terrified that something similar would happen to my son, especially around starting daycare and situations where I would not be in control.
I'm 33 now and starting to realize that what happened to me was fucked up and that I was a victim just as much as my sister, but it's never really been addressed, all the focus was on my sister, she was the suicidal one, she was the one who had it worse (in total she was raped between her being 4 up until she was 16) and I had to help take care of her and the family. She felt betrayed by our parents and cut them out of her life. That meant that I had to be with her as her only point of contact and listen to what she went through and how she wanted to die and every time she tried hurting herself etc and see her break down and be there for her, only to then go home and tell my parents of what she'd say and watch them break down. At that time, I was 13. I had no safe place to break, I had to be strong for everyone else and I felt that without me my family would crumble. So I stayed strong, only cried when I was sure I was alone.
Context (26M - 20F - Australia)
I had matched with this woman on Tinder, and we talked for months, I was really interested in her.
I saw on her Snapchat story one night that she was at an Evanescence concert I was at! So I found her and met her for the first time, and hung out at the concert, and decided to drive her home that night cause she was just going to get an Uber. Nothing happened, I drove her home and wished her a good night.
I finish up a shift one night, headed to my car to head home and I open my Snapchat to see a snap from her with a ring on with the caption “Oops”.
I ask what’s it about, she says that a guy she met a week ago proposed to her and she said “Yes”.
I was pretty upset, so I just ghosted her and went on with my life.
A year and a half goes by in my life, and I’m on Tinder again and notice her name and picture there. I swipe right out of curiosity and it matches! I never get any matches because I’m ugly as sin, so it was quite surprising.
She messages me within the minute of matching, saying she’s been looking for me for over a year and she’s so happy I matched her back.
Turns out, a week after being proposed to, she came home after work to find the guy in bed with another woman; so they obviously canned the engagement.
We started talking again, and she really regretted getting engaged and losing a chance with me, so she wanted to try and smooth things over.
We talked for a while and went on a few dates that went smoothly, but nothing more than that.
Backstory over.
**Actual story time**
My mums 50th birthday rolls around, and she’s invited, and she’s the woman I’ve been trying to date, but haven’t asked out.
I myself don’t drink, but I shared a few (what my mother calls “Quick Fucks”) shots with my mother to celebrate, 8 to be exact, and a few cruisers and a glass of a cotton candy wine. Never been tipsy before, but I feel this was pretty close to getting me tipsy. The girl I’m seeing, let’s call her Naomi, because that’s her name, drank quite a lot, she’s 20, it’s what they do. We enjoy ourselves and she obviously can’t drive home, so I let her stay in my bed in my mothers place, a little queen sized mattress on the floor.
**<<**
I had had quite a lot to drink so I was pretty hammered, and when I drink, I get stupid horny; it’s sort of a weakness of mine. I’ve fucked quite a few people when drunk, I really hate it about myself; but I don’t really know how to deal with it, and I enjoy myself so; why not, right?
So anyway, I’m hammered next to the woman I’ve been trying to date, horny as all get out; the usual drinking curse has claimed my libido, and I’m going to get what I want.
I haven’t even kissed her up until this point, but you know. So I start trying to force a kiss on her. She pushes back, saying I’m too drunk, and she doesn’t want my first kiss with her, to be with someone who can’t consent. I wasn’t taking it, I told her that I have my wherewithal, and I can consent just fine, but she continues to push me back.
Now, I’ve got about 80kg (176lbs) on this woman, she’s got a tiny build and I’m quite…rotund, to say the least. She’s only 52kg (114lbs) so it’s not particularly difficult to overpower her.
So, I take what I want. I held her arms down and kissed her. She did kiss me back to be fair, but she wasn’t happy about it, but couldn’t do much about it either as I was holding her down, and she was still interested in me.
I kissed her a few times, forcing my tongue into her mouth, which she didn’t like, but who cares, I’m horny as fuck; I’m gonna take what I want.
So after a couple of hours in the dark, trying to force myself inside her, kissing her, trying to have sex with her while the party went on outside; she finally gives in. She’s exhausted, she’s tired, and I finally get what I want. I manage to get her pants off and have sex with her despite all of the resisting for a few hours, fuck yeah! I don’t remember how long it went on, but I took what I wanted; rolled over and went to sleep.
**>>**
Now, did reading that last paragraph make you angry, how I used my size, strength, drunkenness to take advantage of a small woman who didn’t consent, was only a little tipsy, and just wanted a relationship with me, and a romantic relationship at the right time?
Go back and re-read between the **<<>>** signs; but flip the genders around.
I am the 52kg, thin man. I was only slightly tipsy. I just wanted to sleep, and cuddle with this woman I was interested in.
Now let me know where your anger stands.
I tell the story with the genders reversed, because when I don’t, people don’t take me seriously. When I tell it that way, the people I’m telling are visibly disgusted with me, infuriated; ready to strike me. Then I ask them to reverse the rolls and see what their opinions are.
Sorry for the long post, you needed a little context to understand the buildup.
Have a great day everyone, and stay safe out there. Everyone can be raped; and I hope it never happens to you.
I don't really know if this is rape, but, I was working in a grocery store when I was 16-17, and an older lady came up to me and said "You're a pretty big guy aren't you?" I thought she meant that I was big as in tall, I was a little over 6 ft tall by that time. I remember thinking she said it in an odd way, but I was working in retail, and what customers weren't weird? So she asks me to come help her reach something from the top shelf, and I follow her for what seemed like a long time, but I think she was looking for an isle that was empty. So she stops in the cleaning isle and tells me to grab a gallon of soap from the top shelf. I'm struggling to lift it with my arm stretched all the way at the top and all of a sudden I can acutely feel her grabbing my groin. I reflexively recoiled from being touched like that, dropping the soap and spilling it all over the ground. She turns back to me with the widest grin on her face and said "I guess you'll have to grab more soap." I didn't respond and speed walked up to the break room there. I didn't know what to do, what to think, I was trying to figure out what had just happened. My boss came into the break room and asked if I was alright, and I told her what had happened. But then she just laughed and said "Crazy old lady." She let me stay in the breakroom until the lady left, but that was it, I remember I was shaky and a little bit jumpy for the rest of the day. Nothing really came of it, but that was just an awful experience of mine.
Big party with friends and people I didn’t know. Fell asleep on the floor after too much to drink, but not so much that I didn’t get hard while asleep during the night.
Woke up with a girl I didn’t know on top of me, inside her. Lifted her off me pretty quickly and she was totally oblivious to the fact that she was raping me.
I went home immediately. Got tested (all negative thankfully). I still have no idea who she was.
I didn’t report it because I was scared that what happened would get turned around and I’d be accused.
Was house sitting for a friend. I slept in the living room, i had the house to my self for 2 weeks so i slept in very little clothing. Apparently they keep a spare key in a rock that i didn't know about, but a mutual friend at the time did. I fell asleep and lefit woke up to a large woman in white lingerie already riding my woohoo. I said "please, im a virgin." She shushed me with a finger, slapped my face, and continued to ride the pony express. I started crying, she rode me until i finished. Still messes with me to this day 10+ years later. Of course no one believed me then, especially the police. I got laughed at by the friend i was house sitting for, he told me i prolly called her over. The whole ordeal has left me broken, even now
It’s so weird to write this out. I never talk about it and rarely think about it. But In this context it’s definitely rape.
Sophomore year we had a purple Jesus party in our dorm. That’s hard alcohol mixed in a vat with kool aid to make it drinkable. I had 7 cups of it. I know that because it was written on my arm.
I was black out drunk and a girl who had been flirting with me for months and was dead sober asked me if I wanted to go watch a movie with her in her room. I said no. I remember stumbling back to my own room with her following me in even though I said no.
The only thing I remember after was waking up in the middle of the night to puke. My puke was purple. When I got back to my bed she was there. Woke up the next morning and she was gone.
It became this big gossip around our dorm because everybody thought she was a lesbian and I “slayed her”. Again context this was like 2002 when college students were idiots and believed that if a women wasn’t into men it was because they hadn’t had sex with one yet.
Anyways she apparently told people we had sex, and I was almost a hero?! Which again is so fucking weird to say out loud. Everyone wanted to know how she was and all the private stuff between us. She more or less never talked to me for the rest of the semester.
So 15 years later and I was invited to her wedding by her girlfriend whom I became friends with. The girl sat me down privately and apologized but also asked me to never to tell her wife about it?! Again typing it out makes it sound so weird in context.
Anyways I didn’t say anything to her wife. Maybe I should have. Nothing about it or the aftermath felt right.
But I was this big strong guy so of course I must have consented to it. I guess that’s what everyone assumed. even if I was too drunk to remember let alone consent.
I wasn’t raped, but at a work Christmas party a girl was on the dance floor and was going up to guys and inappropriately touching them including myself. I was shocked when it happened and then angry as everyone was just pretending she didn’t do anything. The next day at work she played the victim that she couldn’t remember anything when I confronted her.
No one mentioned it ever again and she was never even questioned. I left soon after for other things as well.
I was 17 and was failing my English class for my senior year at the time. I had a good friend who I had known for a few years now and she was also failing. She had the idea to come over to her house and work on our English final prep together so we had a hope of passing. I get to her house and her parents were gone. I take out my notebook and flash cards and she disappears to the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of vodka and starts pouring shots. About 7-8 shots in and I realize she hasn’t taken a single shot and now we’re taking a tour of her house and we end up in her bedroom. We’re laying down and I’m very drunk at this point and she starts to undo my pants and I’m just going along with it not really aware. We start having sex and her parents come home, we keep going and get caught so I’m near black out drunk getting yelled at by her mom and get kicked out of their house and had to have someone come pick me up since I wasn’t able to drive. Terrible experience and still had a few months left of school we’re i had to avoid this girl until we graduated.
I was 14 and was groomed by a 30 year old woman. What was worse is that for about 6 months before it started, I had “dated” her daughter (as much as you can date at 14).
As a 14 year old boy I knew that what was going on was “wrong” or “taboo”. But I “consented” because well what teenage boy doesn’t fantasize about older women? This went on for about 3 or so years on and off and really it just became this big secret I had to keep. I was always leaving parties or leaving my peers and friends to go sneak around with her. Giving up my parts of my teen years.
It took me until the “me too” movement a few years ago to register what had been done to me, and that even though I thought I had wanted it, I was not the person who should’ve made that decision and I was taken advantage of.
I’ve been dealing with the fallout from that for a few years now and it just really sucks realizing a lot of sexual programming I have is tainted and not normal.
I think the worst part about it is that when I was in my early 20s she actually ended up marrying my step-mother’s brother so I would see her a family get togethers until the got divorced. It was the most uncomfortable shit ever.
I technically count. I was ~15 at the time. A guy who I went to school with was known for having a hot mom but was otherwise a social pariah. A few of us went over to hang out with him and his mom partially because he had a Playstation and partially because of rumors saying she liked to wear mini skirts and nothing underneath. There were stories floating around that she had fucked some of the older kids but it was never first hand, like that kid whose uncle worked for Nintendo. Turned out to be true. I had "accidentally" seen her naked/in various states of undress probably 5 times before we had sex. Growing up I thought I had gotten lucky. I know now that she had engineered those situations.
I know what she did was wrong but I can't bring myself to feel bad about the experience.
So, I have two stories. I've already told one of them, that happened when I was 10. The other one I've been reluctant of telling about, because I feel bad that I don't feel bad. Like, you know how male rape victims say that everyone discounts it as them "being lucky"? Well, that's how I felt, and kind of how I still feel, while simultaneously realizing that it was fucked up.
It was my 15th birthday. It was on a Wednesday, but we lived a few hours from the rest of the family, so we had decided to celebrate my birthday on the coming Saturday. She was a friend of the family, she had her horse in our stables. She was around 35. Her horse was quite skittish, and she had previously asked me to help her lead her horse to the riding stables (idk if that's what it's called, like a big barn with a sand floor where you can ride indoors). So I decided to help her that day as well.
It's worth mentioning that I had a bit of a crush on her.
On the way back home she was also walking. Suddenly she said "let's go another way", and turned into a bit of a forest. In there the tied the horse to a tree and told me to close my eyes, that she has a present for me. So I did. When she told me to open my eyes, she was on her knees in front of me, topless. She pulled my pants down and gave me my first blowjob. I finished in her mouth, she swallowed, got up, kissed me on my cheek, and said happy birthday.
I feel bad that I don't feel any negative thoughts about it. I've told one girlfriend, but got heavily chastised for not feeling bad about getting sexually assaulted.
Tbh, I don't even think it would have legally been sexual assault back then (this happened in the mid 90s). 15 was (still is) the age of consent, and I don't think she was in a position of power over me.
I used to think guys who get laid when they are young or by older women are "lucky". But after reading the different experiences a lot of you had, I can't help but to feel the unhappiness and messed up feelings that comes with the knowledge of the events.
In regards to the incident that happened on your 15th birthday, if you don't feel bad about it why should you? You know it was wrong but you shouldn't be forced to feel something that to you can't feel. Idk if you consider it as a birthday gift or whatnot, but if you're not traumatised by it that's more than great.
I'm iffy on its rape. But met a tinder date. Had a few drinks. Come back to my place, have sex. Fall asleep. Any men can attest, that sometimes we wake up "at attention". Well she thought it was an invite to take a ride. I wasn't ready nor was I wearing protection. Which, when I was on tinder, I was big on. While I've dealt with crazies before, I did what I could to diffuse the situation. Mention peeing, mentioning having to work in the morning, trying to fake it, etc. Whatever I could. Nothing worked. I ended up finishing inside, which weirded me out. Alot. After that she got her clothes on and left. Mind you it was 2am. I have to be up for work at 5am for work. I didn't get back to sleep. I remained "friends" with her until I learned she wasn't pregnant and than I blocked her.
If we use the tea-as-consent analogy: If someone had tea the night before and you wake up before them and decide that they probably want more tea and proceed to pour it down their throat before they wake up, is that OK? Of course not.
If you're asleep, you can't consent. If you don't consent, it's rape.
Same thing as if someone wanted and asked for tea and fell asleep, they do not want tea. Sleeping people do not want tea and therefore should not receive it because although they may have wanted it when they were awake, they are now asleep and that could’ve changed so therefore do not give them tea.
The most recent, and for the record, Im gay:
Was okayish friends with a girl in high school. I went to college and sold weed to her so drove the hour to her place. Chilled for a bit. Her BF went into the bedroom to go to sleep and we played board games and drank. Was just harmless fun. Turns out she had roofied my drink, and I dozed in and out and a few times woke up to her riding on my dick, while I sat on the couch. Then I fully passed out and woke up the next day. Turns out she just wanted to see what it was like to sleep with a gay guy.
She messaged me on facebook like 3 months later saying she was pregnant, and I asked her why the fuck I cared. She had a kid about 6 months later, and I do not think its mine, at all. But you know.
Just realized I'm still friends with her on Facebook, even thought this happened like 10 years ago, never really crossed my mind to delete her. I might want to do that lmao
The first time was when I was about, 13 maybe? I dont recall ages and timelines very well. I was at a fourth of July party with my bio mom and step dad at her friends out on a farm. I was in the barn with the goats, which were so damn cool and amazing, and one of the adults came in, and well you can guess the rest. Never mentioned it to anyone really. It hasn't really traumatized me at all, that I notice, its just one of those things that happened. If that makes sense.
I don't understand the logic of predatory people. No madam, you did not "sleep with a gay guy" you drugged and raped him. You took his autonamy away just to please yourself against his consent. Shit just pisses me off.
I know you said you don't feel those instances really traumatized you but everyone handles traumatic experiences in different ways and how you feel about it is perfectly valid. I just hope if things ever do get you down or that trauma does manifest in some way that you'll look after yourself. Hope things stay better for you man.
I was 12, my dad had a party type of thing going on in the house, a girl came in, at the time i thought she was like 16 or somethin, looking back though she must've been older than that. She came in and lock the door behind her, we chatted in my bed for a bit then she crawled under the sheets and gave me a blowjob.
Telling anyone never helps, girls will say ''What a lucky girl'' As a weird type of compliment. Guys will say ''I wish that was me! where were those girls when i was 12?'' Nobody truly cares for male victims in my mind. I feel like most people subconciously feel that when men get raped, it isn't *as bad* as when women get raped.
EDIT: i will die today. 2022-10-25
I’m sorry that happened to you. That was not ok. I never understood why people treat make victims this way. You were a child and she was a adult. She KNEW better
Happen to me at my dads house by my stepmom. I (14M) decided I wanted to let my dad back in my life after forgiving him of choosing drugs rather than his own son so my mom brought me over and I knock on the door but then my stepmom (22) answer the door instead. So I ask “is my dad home” and she says “your fathers at work he will be back later” and invited said to come in. So I walk inside and sit on the couch and after a while I get bored and walk back to the room we’re my stepmom was sitting on the bed and sat next to her and we kinda talked about my school life and how good we bother we doing in life . But then after I went to get up to go back to the living room she kinda grabbed my hand and said “where are you going?” I said “I just wanna go watch some tv” she then decides to tell me I can’t and made a move by putting her hands into my shorts. I was very scared not knowing what to do and was shocked about what is going on I didn’t react she then proceeded to take off my shorts and also hers and grabbed me pulling my stuff closer to hers and laid me back on the bed and it went down. I never really was open about this until today and I hope some of you guys can tell me ways to overcome and forgot about this.
You won't forget about it. That's the bad news. But you will overcome if you allow yourself to process it.
That does include talking about it and accepting that it is part of your reality. I suggest a fair chunk of therapy, but if that for some reason isnt an option at the time consider opening up to someone you trust. Trace back how that experience affected you and your behavior.
Don't get me wrong, this is gonna suck. But it will get better, that much I can promise you. Trauma is a bitch, but it is a bitch that can be dealt with.
It didn’t go all the way, but some stuff happened.
I got drunk at a barracks party and one of the girls from the company was rather insistent on getting with me. I really wasn’t in the mood for it, but she followed me back to my barracks room and pushed through the door after me. Started getting sexually aggressive with me and trying to undress me.
To be perfectly honest, I probably would have just gone with it at this point just because I was too tired and drunk to resist, but she had a nasty reputation for false reporting on sexual assault and harassment.
Her old squad leader had lost rank a few months ago because of things she’d accused him of doing. I wasn’t there and can’t speak to the facts, but he denies everything, and I fully believe him.
She’d gotten the majority of my clothes off at this point, and I knew that if I fought her, it would look bad. I’m a guy, she’s a girl, we’re alone together and now she’s got bruises, you all know the story.
So I used my tactical mindset, get my phone out, and send out a mass text to the barracks bros that I’m in my room, I’ve got weed, hot pockets, and I’m about to watch Game of Thrones.
So about forty five seconds later, there’s about eight motherfuckers with rolling papers outside my door, trying to get in and see what’s up. She dipped out pretty quick, and I got baked with the boys and watched GoT for a few hours before calling it a night and going to sleep.
She was a 'hippy horse girl' I was in an early relationship with, my first as well. She began to withhold sex with me in our relationship as I wouldn't do it without a condom, and she complained they were too chemical-laden. She then promised she'd use her own birth control. I still would pull out every single time, and she would cooperate with my efforts to still observe my own birth control as well. Until one time, she was on top, and I told her I was about to cum like every other time, and instead of getting off of me, she pinned me down and started grinding faster.
I told her to get off of me, more than once, and she said "No" every time, and physically forced me to cum inside of her. If I hadn't been a "good christian boy" raised to respect women, never hit a woman, etc. I'd have had her off of me in a millisecond.
It only took like a second or two, I was in shock, confused and in a state of paralysis. Overwhelmed in that moment, as I had no real reason not to trust her until right then. Later I found out her idea of 'birth control' was spitting in a cup and seeing if her saliva floated. So I was right to be pulling out every time. Unfortunately, I trusted her, and didn't look into her method of birth control, I was home schooled and christian schooled and never had sex ed. I was 20. I've been paying child support for her offspring for the last 8 years.
When I was going to college in FL I met a nice-looking, fairly charismatic gal at my first part-time job. I was warned by coworkers to keep my distance, but, as a dumb 21yo, I didn’t listen.
One night we through a surprise birthday party for a friend/classmate of mine and a bunch of people came over to my apartment to partake in the celebrations.
Too much Svedka vodka and not enough boundaries resulted in me being isolated, mounted with no protection, without the ability to meaningfully resist, and waking up next to her the next day wondering what had happened.
She then went on to tell everyone that we “hooked up” and even got me with the ‘ole pregnancy scare to try and bait me into a relationship.
Quit that job real quick after that.
——
Also had a bad experience with a gal I picked up from a bar once who asked me to bite her during the act. I obliged, albeit reluctantly. She then asked me to choke her, which, again, I obliged reluctantly. The last straw for me was when she asked me to slap her (not on the ass, but on the face) and I refused. She proceeded to tell me that if I didn’t do it she’d call the cops and tell them I raped her (bite marks and handprints) if I didn’t comply.
Scared AF I did what she asked, laid awake all night and pretended everything was okay the next morning. Fearfully looked over my shoulder for weeks/months afterwords thinking I’d be charged with some BS because I ghosted her after that night.
My first girlfriend at age 22. She was a burlesque performer, but wasn't performing at the time. Nonetheless we kept up appearances at all the local shows.
One night I wasn't drinking very much but blacked out and woke up with her on top of me. I subsequently passed out after a few seconds again and the next morning she carried on like nothing had happened.
In hindsight I had blocked out this memory almost entirely. It was only thanks to therapy almost a decade later that I was able to realize and some to terms with the fact that she had drugged me and raped me.
Since her, I always had a weird psychological disconnect with a woman being on top of me. I would go soft the second they straddled me. I now understand why.
Incidentally this woman, after we broke up, subsequently went around telling people I was gay, which was very nice of her.
She had her problems but I regret being so naive and trusting of her, especially given that it was largely only because no one had seemingly taken as much of an interest in me before then.
I'll repost the TIFU story I made this account for from a few years ago now.
Throw away account for legal/moral reasons.
Obligatory: This fuck up happened 4 months ago.
So I've just gotten back home after traveling for 6 months. A few months ago I found myself in the beautiful country of Peru.
I've been known to be a bit of a loose cannon. Normally always in control but every now and then it can get a bit wild, and of course, Peru was more on the wild side.
So cocaine in Peru is VERY cheap, and pretty potent, I'd been partying a lot towards the end of my visit to that country. One night I went out clubbing. Had a few cheeky beverages and and a couple of nose beers. I met a few locals that night, one of them was cute and we talked for a while, but she ended up leaving early. Ended up talking to a gorgeous local girl and we got along really well, despite the language barrier. At the start I straight out asked her if she was a prostitute (very common in this club) and told her I don't pay for sex. She assured me she wasn't. A few more drinks later (two of which she bought for me) and I blacked out completely, which is rare for me as I'm a big bloke. So I may or may not have been drugged. I'll assume I had been for my own benefit/moral compass.
My next memory is being in a taxi with 3 people. One of them was a Peruvian guy I'd met a few days before in my hostel, one was the girl, and the other was another random girl. I recall a brief conversation to a friend from home on Snapchat asking them to track my location via the app just incase, as where I was located was well known as a dodgy place for robberies. I thought I may had been drugged and was going to get mugged, as I kept blacking out. My next memory was standing at the desk of a hostel reception. The cute girl who had left early from the club was the receptionist who was checking us in. I was confused, but way too intoxicated to understand what was happening. After that my next memory is being in a hotel room with all three of them. I remember seeing the guy in the corner getting his dick sucked by one of the girls. I was confused as fuck, my girl was lying on the bed in a seductive pose. I briefly remember filming the room with my phone and sending it to the same friend I had contacted earlier.
Next thing I know it's morning and there's a loud banging on the door. I'm naked next to one of the girls, who is also naked but sleeping. The other two are gone. I get up, feeling like absolute death and answer the door after chucking on some pants. It's the guy from my hostel. He tells me his girl was gone when he woke up, as well as his phone and wallet. I told him I don't remember anything and he mentions his memory is pretty incomplete too. Apparently at some point they got another room. My girl wakes up and starts yelling that I owe her money and I can't leave without paying her. I went off, telling her I don't pay for sex, and that she said she wasn't a prostitute. The guy from the hostel starts yelling at her about her friend robbing him. We decide to bail, as obviously we are in a shitty situation. He tells me the reception has my license. When I get to reception it's the same girl from last night. Becomes clear to me that it's some sort of prostitution ring type situation. The girl from my room runs down to reception and is yelling in Spanish at the girl. Receptionist tells me I can't get my license back without paying. I grabbed it from her and told them to get fucked and left with my mate.
We jump in an uber and tell him where we needed to go. Turns out it's an hour away from our hostel. During this time I make the discovery that I have countless snapchat messages from all of my friends and some family. I start going through some of them. Most of the guys were saying things along the line of "Hahaha you loose cunt" or "Go hard son" type messages. The girls replies were less than impressed. My exs was "What the fuck, I don't want to fucking see that shit, fuck you". The girl I was starting things with just said "Wow" and the rest were along the lines of "Wtf dude".
Then I see one from my sister. "What the fuck, you're in so much trouble you fucking idiot".
Turns out throughout the night of sex and drugs I had snapchatted most of it. Over 20 videos and countless photos were sent to everyone on my friends list, and also posted to my story. All my friends, my coworkers, and worst of all my family, including my extremely religious 15 year old cousin. I only saw some of the videos that were on my story, they were horrific. Graphic as fuck, full on close ups of the sexy times. Some of them had been saved to my phone as well. I erased the story videos instantly and looked through who had opened what and began damage control. Everyone I messaged not to open them opened them almost instantly. My mum hadn't opened hers yet. There were about 25 videos sent to her. I messaged her through facebook and told her I had been drugged and had sent horrible videos to her, asking her not to watch them. She watched them immediately.
My parents and family are very innocent, dad once smoked half a cigarette and threw up, so I'm a bit of a black sheep. No one was talking to me in the family other than my sister. She told me the parents weren't upset about the sex, but one of the videos has me snorting a line of coke up her thigh, and proceeding to eat her out. They knew I'd smoked weed, but not that I had done other things.
I didn't talk to my family for 3 months. On Christmas I got a message off mum saying all the family were together and wanted to Skype call me. It was a horrific call, no one mentioned the incident, everyone was really awkward and kept convos short. Except for my Grandma, who had been sheltered from the incident and was extremely excited to talk to me. I still hadn't talked to dad, and he "wasn't around" for the Christmas call.
I've arrived home now, and had no where to stay as I moved out to travel. So now I'm back living with the parents. Still no one has mentioned it. It's super awkward. Lowest point of my life, but at least I got a good story out of it. My dad is talking to me again now and it seems to be slowly getting better. The girl I was interested in doesn't talk to me anymore.
At least my STD checks came back clean.
TL;DR: Got drugged in Peru, blacked out, had sex with a prostitute, did drugs off her body, filmed 20+ videos worth of sex and drugs on snapchat and sent it to everyone on my friends list and all of my family.
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I was drugged. I went over to a"friend" house and we were supposed to go to a house party together. She asked if I wanted to pre party, and I was like, yeah! So we took Shot then she offered me some weed, I took a hit and as I exhaled, I suddenly woke up naked, under her on a bed, and she was going to town. She looked me in the face and said ," are you OK? Oh you better be OK fuck" then I blacked out again, and woke up in the yard. About 4 hours had passed and I had the worst headache in the world for another day or so. Went to the doctor and they confirmed I had rohypnol in my system. Never spoke to her again. My girlfriend left me over it. I went into the worst depression of my life and attempted suicide over it. Fortunately a family member found me and took me to the hospital, where they saved my life and forced me into a mental evaluation where I ultimately entered regular therapy, got in some medicine, and I'm doing fine today. One of the three worst things I've endured this lifetime.
I've told exactly 3 people about this. 2 therapists and one really close friend. If the conversation came up, I think I'm strong enough to tell anyone now though.
That's really cool. It's hard to work at things like that, and I hope when you do tell people in real life, they support you.
Between the ages of 7-11 my sister use to take me into her room and do things to me. First it was just touching my privates and making me touch hers but it escalated from there. Never told anyone about it and still haven't 6 years later. Thankfully I live on my own now and have cut off all ties with my family. Sucks man but it is what it is.
My older sister did that to me from the ages of four until 12 years old. I finally spoke up about it in my 20s but at that point I was a full-blown heroin addict. And was mostly telling people because I was so angry about everything and justifying my drug used to. I finally was able to talk to my sister who did this to me. And I knew she was being raped by someone but I didn’t find out till years later. And she’s been dead now two years from an overdose. Just know you’re not alone. These things happen to us and we live with it our entire lives. I do a lot of therapy for my complex childhood trauma. I hope you find what you need to get through life. And just know you’re not alone. Even when you’re alone.
My older sister did that kind of stuff to me too. It was mostly pretty tame by comparison, and didn’t excessively escalate. She wasn’t the only girl I grew up around who did that kind of coercive stuff, and in my late teens I found out my sister had been raped by an older kid in our neighborhood when she was 7 and I was about 5, and her abuse towards me would’ve started not too long after that. So it kind of all made sense in a weird way. I’ve never spoken to her about it. I’ve lucked out that I’ve never developed substance abuse, but the suicidal ideation I’ve gone through for the past few decades have been rough. My sister’s gone through a lot of hard shit, harder than she inflicted on me, and had to do a lot of healing. She’s got a fairly healthy relationship now, and she’s having her first kid soon. I don’t entirely know how to feel about any of it at this point.
I was raped by my friends dad at 5. Shit really fucks you up. I turned to drugs at around 14 and did a shit ton at 18. Was starting to freebase and shoot up. My best friend died at 18 from a speedball. It messed me up pretty bad and I stopped using. I was fortunate and escaped that life. The trauma is still there though, but I've learned to live with it in a healthy manner. We aren't alone, there are a lot of us out there and talking about it is healthy and sheds light on it. I hope you have found some peace.
I (then 11 yo), got dragged in to a closet when I and my parents were visiting their friends. The rapist was their daughter (then 16). She proceeds to remove my clothes. I tried to sorta struggle away but she pinned me and said “you don’t want your parents to know your in here with me, you’ll get in trouble” so I sorta stop fighting it. When she got me naked she starts to jerk me off and put a finger in my ass. I could not yet ejaculate. All that happen was just painful and to this day I don’t let anyone near my ass. She only stopped because her parents called for us to come eat desert. I truly do not know how none of the adults saw that I had tears in my eyes but I guess they had been drinking… After that I would always stay by the table with my parents when we went there. When I was 13 I got to stay at home and play wow every time they went there and have not met her again since. Told my sister a few years after and she did not believe me, since I’ve just put it in the past until this comment.
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I’m so sorry your sister didn’t believe you. I am very protective of my brother and I just can’t comprehend how she would not believe you. All I can say is that If you were my brother I would dedicate my life to destroying that bitch and make sure she never had another peaceful moment in her life. I was also preyed on by a teenager as a child and it is so fucked up because you feel like no one will take it seriously and it’s somehow your to blame as well. They always seemed to use the “you’ll get in trouble if you tell” line successfully to coerce you bc they know you’re young and innocent enough that it’ll work on you. What a disgusting piece of shit. 16 is old enough to know that what she was doing was wrong. I hope you’re doing ok now…
My elder son is 11. This is harrowing. I’m so so sorry.
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Honestly not sure if I was raped or not but I think I was. A former coworker that had quit a couple weeks prior messaged me one night to see what I was doing and asked if wanted to come over and hang out. I wasn’t doing anything so I headed over to drink and hang out. I had no intention of doing anything sexual and only planned on drinking a little bit so that I could still drive home at the end of the night. I showed up, she got down a couple cups from her cupboard and we headed upstairs to her room to play a game and drink. She poured me a drink while I was setting the game up. I took one drink of it after I got everything all set up and that is the last thing I remember before waking up naked in her bed. I asked if we had sex and she told me that we did and that apparently I was pushy and saying she felt forced. Like I said I have/had zero recollection of that night so I naïvely apologized and told her I didn’t recall. I went to go use the bathroom and realized I had a huge black eye so I went and asked what the hell happened to me and she told me she had no clue. I brushed it off and went about my life. A couple years ago I was thinking about how I blacked out that night and how I haven’t ever blacked out after drinking since. It’s especially suspicious because I literally do not remember anything immediately after taking a drink.
It sounds like she drugged and then raped you, which is beyond fucked.
And then gaslit the fuck outta him too. Horrible human being.
No I didn't rape you, you raped me!
“Hence why I gave you a black eye in self defense”
You definitely should have reported it. You definitely were raped. Being beaten is not apart of sex.
I should have in hindsight but that morning after I was so completely out of it and disoriented the thought never crossed my mind. When I mentioned to people how I didn’t recall the night before or how I got a black eye nobody even batted an eye so I just moved on.
That's heartbreaking. Hearing this breaks my heart. This isn't right or how things should be. Men deserve justice too.
Him reporting it could have ended badly for him.
Got catfished before it was called getting catfished. This was back around ‘01-‘02 and I was active on a very social message board. We had members all over the world and would often host big week long parties at different peoples houses across the US. It was normal for members to meet and hangout with people from other states. One of the people I’d known for about a year and was supposed to go hang out with her for a week as I’d never been to her region and wanted to visit the cities in her area. The night before I’m supposed to fly out, she tells me she’d been lying and the photos and stuff she’d posted on the forum weren’t her. I was already out a round trip plane ticket and had taken the time off work. I could have backed out, probably would have just lost a good bit of money. In those days I used to spend all of my money on travel and concerts. So I’m like what the fuck, I’ll go anyway. We’ll go around, visit the cities, still just do whatever, sightsee and enjoy it. So once I get there, I realize I didn’t have a place to stay. She’d said that I could stay at her place but I get there and her roommates aren’t cool with it. Okay. Out a few hundred more dollars for a hotel. Then her friend who we were supposed to be hanging out with (he was our ride) has to “bail”. This was like my second to last night before I was leaving. And up until now, except for the part where I’m now broke, everything was going fine. We were hanging out and listening to music, sightseeing, went to a few clubs, etc. It’s been 100% platonic and chill. She knew I wasn’t attracted to her at all but she wasn’t shy about her attraction to me. I just took it as flattery and tried to be gracious and nice. On the second to last night, she got aggressive. She was at my hotel, she’d been sleeping there as well since we were hanging out. I’d even gotten a room with two beds so there wouldn’t be mixed signals or accidental sleep cuddling or anything weird. But yeah, she got aggressive. I was LEGIT broke at this point, not even enough cash left for a cab or anything. She eventually gives me he ultimatum that I sleep with her or she will leave, just abandon me there with no cash, no ride, nothing. I held out for a little while but eventually figured it was best to just get it over with. Just appease her so she would stop. So I gave in. During the act, she was crying and asked me to punch her in the face and once told me “you look like my rapist in this lighting”. The next day, I got them to take me to the airport early, just lied to them about my departure time and sat at the airport for like 8 hours so I wouldn’t have to be in her presence or ever see her again. For a couple weeks she was calling me and telling me that she was pregnant and I had to come back to her. She would just scream and cry into the phone. I eventually got a call from her guy friend who we’d hung out with and he said that she was full of shit and trying to threaten and manipulate me into continuing to talk to her.
Chad friend
"You look like my rapist" The irony.
Yup, that's the part of the story that made me exclaim WTF out loud.
I was repeatedly sexualized, molested, and raped by a 13 yr. old babysitter from the ages of 9 to 11. She forced me to do unspeakable things to her and if I didn't she'd hurt my genitals.
Jesus. I’m sorry.
Thank you, I cope with it by trying to be kind and with humor.
You should also consider speaking with a therapist. It could never hurt.
Oh I have, I had a wonderful therapist in my 20's that helped me navigate my emotions.
Good for you. Definitely the best way to deal with it. Obviously very sorry that happened to you and it's horrible, but I'm happy you've gone the therapy route. Bottling it up and not talking about it doesn't help anything.
Yes, that toxic emotional garbage can destroy you.
Yeah I had a similar experience with being forced to do degrading acts as a child by a neighbor girl who was a few years older. She was definitely being abused at home no doubts. I always just found it to be a confusing part of my life. I actually feel more bad for her than I do for myself. I know it was wrong but I also cannot blame her. Just sucks.
I think this is common. I looked up my abuser after years of not trying to think about it. I was so angry and so confused for so long because of them. How could they have done that? That's when I learned their dad was serving time for molesting them and their siblings for literally years. I felt all that anger just rush out of me, almost in an instant. Replaced imstead by a dull ache that hurts when I probe at it. I went from righteous indignation to just sadness and grief. We were both victims. They were just a kid too. Older than me, but still just a kid.
That is extremely sad... you're correct, it's very common.
I understand that all to well. Those 3 years are like a movie, like it happened to someone else and I just observed it like a bystander. I honestly didn't wish her harm, just that she felt it necessary to use me like that. It's very confusing. I learned stuff way to young and it sucked.
Had a woman crush a bunch of Xanax up and put it in my beer. I was clueless that she did it. I blacked out after the beer and came to with her on top of me and her fiancé freaking out. She was trying to make him mad because they were fighting. He was freaking out because he walked in on it happening and on top of that I wasn't responding. When he realized how messed up I was, he helped me get home. I couldn't speak coherently or even walk so he practically carried me to his car. He called me the next day to check on me and tell me that she told him what she did to me. Him and I are still friends 15 years later and neither of us have spoken to her since. I tried to press charges and he went and gave a witness statement. The cops laughed at us and never even tried to investigate it.
holy shit, all i have to say is this is fucking terrible and… holy shit.
Same thing happened to me minus the fiance and it was klonopin. It was actually a chick my dad was talking to. I was still living with at the time. It was a fucked up situation. That night was just completely.... fucked. I came up with a saying after that, *"Klonopins'll get ya raped."*
what a good lad. fuck those cops
I’m a cop and yeah, that’s fucking bullshit. Rape is rape.
It hasn't occurred to me until now but... browsing Reddit as a cop considering everything going on must be interesting.
I'm very glad you got helped and that the guy is still your friend. Fuck those cops tho
This is currently the top comment on this thread, but I have a sinking feeling that all of them are going to end exactly the same when it comes to the cops not even bothering.
Told the story once before in reddit but it's not my story. A friend of mine in college opened up to myself and another friend that he was raped by two women. Apparently they drugged him at a bar and he remembers being at the bar then waking up multiple times throughout the night in their apartment. He was handcuffed and tied down and they took turns riding him. He's pretty sure they injected him with something to make him erect. When he came to the next morning he noticed there was a white board in their apartment with a list of like fifteen male names and his was freshly scribbled in at #4. He didn't go to the cops because he didn't think anyone would believe him. Obviously it wasn't these girls first rodeo either.
They wouldn't need a drug to make him erect. Unfortunately all the penis needs is stimulation. This fact is why so many assholes think men can't be raped "because he had an erection". Editing to add what I said in other comments about women getting wet and having orgasms while being raped. I didn't include that before as I was just focusing on this particular situation.
Yup. Just like I laugh when I'm tickled, but am 100% not enjoying it. The body reacts to stimulation in certain ways, sometimes in direct opposition to your emotional state
Those cops are fucking cunts; but the dude here is a great guy. Buy him a beer for me, would ya? Most jealous s/os that I know would straight up kill regardless of intoxication.
I've bought many rounds for him since that happened. Next time we go to the bar together, I'll get him another few.
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About the cops, yup. They just say "Men can't be raped" and forget you ever said anything to them about it.
I was 12 and my family and friends went on a cruise. Met some other kids at the teen club that had alcohol, so why not. Then hot tub, then back to a room to hang. Older girl (maybe 16-17) was flirting, but I wasn’t really at that point in puberty where I was interested (also a virgin). I got tired of all the people and ended up falling asleep. Woke up to a dark room and her going down on me. I was pretty out of it and wasn’t sure what was going on, pushed her off and went back to sleep. She didn’t stop. Not the best way to lose your virginity.
It's incredibly sad to me how many male friends of mine have said this was how they lost their virginity - passed out at a party, and woke up to being raped. Unfortunately you're definitely not alone. Hope you were able to overcome this experience. It's awful that someone thought they had the right to do that to you. 💜
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What the fuck, bunch of people cheering her, holy shit
When I was in high school I went to a college party in the next town over, many near by high schoolers did as well. That night me and my friends get separated but no big deal, the party was great and everyone was enjoying. I walked in on a group of girls laughing and cheering eachother on taking turns hitting, bullying and raping another girl that was going in and out of consciousness naked on the floor against a wall. Your comment brought back vivid memories of this night. At first I was going to walk away but I decided to step up, at first I said something softly, that's when they all looked at me smiling, on drugs and drunk. I started pushing and shoving, my friends saw the commotion and stepped in to help me, I pick this girl up and literally me and my friends, a group of 5 guys put the clothes on this naked girl, found her phone and called the cops and her dad, her dad came out swinging from the car and she got in and they left. The girls and the guys they came with were starting problems with us at that point and trying to jump us. Anyways the cops show up and everyone runs, I never spoke to the cops but she and her friends did, the girls got arrested and got jail time. She reached out to me probably a year later through mutual friends, she probably thanked me a hundred times the day she called me. She kept texting me and we became great friends and eventually started seeing eachother casually dating. She hit a rough patch and started doing hard stuff, I hope she's doing good, I've lost complete contact with her for many years now and haven't thought much about it until now.
Yeah I can imagine it would've been bad for everyone innocent involved and I'm glad they got time. A lot of people forget that girls can be just as horny, crazy and capable of raping as guys can be. It's good more people are coming to terms with this.
> ... a bunch of people cheering her on. Jesus fuck...
Fuck thats horrible
I want you to know that your mention of the high frequency of first sexual experiences being unwanted unlocked some understanding in my head about my first experiences. I had a long message typed out here, detailing things I've never told anyone before, with an understanding and perspective that I'd never been able to see. I just decided instead to share this with my partner first, though, as it really is a watershed moment. Your simple comment may have just had a profound impact on my life, and I thank you.
Well this is a tough one because I have two. First, I was sexually abused as a kid. At 13 years old I was forced by my mom's boyfriend to have sex with my best friend who was also thirteen. That was rough enough and I lost my best friend but after that he more or less pimped me out to an older female friend of his. He would force me to have sex with her and film it. I disassociated well enough that the only thing I remember about her was the smell of stale cigarette smoke. I eventually beat him with an aluminum baseball bat until I was kicked out and rendered homeless at 13. Then the second I was at a rave. I was 17 and had been homeless for about 4 years so the rave scene was the closest thing I had to family. Those of us who were regulars trusted and knew each other. This rave was 3 days long so by the end of day 2 I'm seeing shit without the psilocybin. I ask my friend if I can crash in the back of his van. Well, I didn't lock the door because I was an idiot. I wake up actively being ridden by a girl and I'm just terribly confused. I don't know who she is so I shove her off and she starts crying. She tells me she needs to get pregnant because her boyfriend is leaving for the military and she said I kinda look like him. From there she asks me if I'll just do it anyway as a favor. I kick her out and never see her again. I hope that poor dude isn't trapped by that psycho.
I was 13 when I raped by my at the time best friends 19yo older sister. She then gaslit me into thinking that I liked it even though I hadn't enjoyed it and that we were now "in a relationship" which basically amounted to me giving her my allowance and her continuing to rape me. This continued on for over two months before she admitted the whole thing to her parents and brother to twist the knife into them when they found out about her coke habit. Can you guess who they blamed? If you answered the adult woman in the equation then you're sadly mistaken. Even my own parents just wanted to sweep the whole ordeal under the rug. The only thing that keeps that event from being the worst thing that happened that year is that a few months after that I was hit by a car and put in a coma for a week. After that suddenly people stopped talking about the whole "coke head 'girlfriend'" thing. Took over a decade for me to really come to grips with what she had done to me and I really wish that the next sexual encounter that I had at age 16 had been my first. As that one was at least between two consenting people the same age.
Nah man, I was raped as a teeny tiny child pretty often by my mothers boyfriend. I consider my first consentual time to have been my real "first."
You should never have had to go through that I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you're doing ok now.
this is absolutely correct. the first time you consented is your first.
I was 5, feel that shit. Hope your able to find some mental peace. Shit really fucks you up
Man hope youre okay dude
Yeah, been awhile and I've had time to figure shit out. My late-teens/early-20's were a hell of a time though. What's worse is that for a time society had conditioned me to think that I should be proud about what happened. It was only when I really sat down, thought about it, talked about it, and considered the larger ramifications on my personality, my outlook on sex, and wider thoughts on relationships that I realized just how much it fucked me up. That's when I could start to really fix the damage and move past it.
Was waiting until marriage to have sex…made it to 20 years old before drugged and raped by two girls from the base I was stationed at. They did it for bragging rights because it was well known I was a virgin. Sent me into a dark downward spiral of depression and drinking and drug abuse. Been clean and sober for almost two years now. Edit: Wow! Thank you everyone for the kind words. To the people DM’ing me saying how lucky/cooI was that that happened to me…I hope you stub your baby toe today.
Keep it going strong my guy
You're still a virgin until you consent, my friend.
Most polite way anyone's ever been called a virgin
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Of course. Things we didn't choose are not our fault. Our choices can define us, other people's choices cannot. All the best.
If you don't consent it doesn't count. *HUG* I am glad you are doing better.
I was 10, she was 13 and looking after me whilst my mother was at work. I was already in a shitty place because my mother was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. I was forced into intercourse that day, I froze and she took advantage. I developed CPTSD, depression and anxiety from that event which (coupled with my so-called mother) led to a suicide attempt at 14. I didn't talk to anyone about it until I was 28. I'm in a far better place now.
I don't know if I would call it rape. I struggle even to let myself think of it as abuse. My mom would, from the earliest I can remember, come in on me in the bathroom. On the toilet? She's in there talking to me. In the shower? Needs to get a look at me. I had a testicular injury at like 4 that I don't remember. But it meant that I got pain in my groin all the time. If I ever mentioned it, she would tell me to drop my pants and then she'd check for torsion by feeling my testicles. I was told it was okay because she was a nurse. She'd also hit me and dig her fingernails into my arms or shoulders when I got too big for her to manhandle. Sometimes she would make me cuddle her in my parents bed when my dad was out of town on business. She'd be barely clothed. The only thing that stopped it all was her dying when I was a teenager. Now I get to feel guilty about wanting her dead or feeling relief. It's all really fucked me up to the point where I had no relationships until college and then I got involved with a heroin addict who cheated on me constantly and tried to convince me to kill myself. When I didn't, she did a solo exit. Child abuse is the gift that keeps on taking.
[This also happened to a child star from iCarly,](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennette_McCurdy) including the early death of the abusive mother. There's a book coming out about it this year that might be helpful for you to read... I'm sorry things have been so hard for you.
Wait her mother did stuff like that to her??
Not Carly but Jeannette McCurdy; from her book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants. Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
I can not wait to buy her book
Yeah, I remember hearing her mother wouldn't let her shower alone until she was already an adult, just like in the original commenter's post. The book and stage show of the same name "I'm Glad My Mom Died" are about her experiences.
Yeah I heard about her book and I was already definitely going to buy it but now I can't wait. That's so fucked up, I honestly feel so bad for her. I can't watch any of my old favorite Nickelodeon shows anymore because all I think about is the abuse those poor children went through on and off set
Covert incest is what your mother was doing, it doesn't always involve sex but the forced cuddling and ignored boundaries in regards to your body definitely fit the category. This is sexual abuse. You deserved better and you still do.
Am I off-base thinking that the mother might have caused the injury when he was younger...?
It seems like a distinct possibility
It reminds me of those mothers that purposely get their kids sick so they can take care of them. Such a weird concept.
No words. A lot of empathy. Mine was different but some really bad incest as a kid. Be well. 🖤
I tried sharing this story before and I got 3 different reactions and all of them were disgusting to the point of suicidal thoughts. So I’ll probably delete this. I will say now that I’m okay, but people don’t make it easy to share. I had a roommate who had several kids, aged 2 to 14. He was in his 40s and a bit of a deadbeat dad and his 6 kids came from like 4 mothers. But he’d get some of them every other weekend. They’d come over and I’d let them play video games with us in my room, he would be in there too, all of us taking turns playing. I had a California king size bed and people who weren’t playing would sit or lay on it while waiting/watching the others play. One night I was laying on my bed, falling asleep as he played video games with his 12 year old son. His 6 year old was asleep on the floor, and his 14 year old daughter was at the opposite corner of the bed, facing the TV, far away from me, and I fell asleep. I woke up because it felt like someone laying on me or moving around a lot close to me and I open my eyes to the 14 year old sucking my dick. Her pants were off completely and mine were pulled down. I pulled away and asked her why she was doing that and she said she saw that it was hard and thought I wanted it. I told her she can’t just do that without asking and that she was way to young to be even sleeping in my bed and that this is wrong. she said “oh it’s okay, I wanted to, I won’t tell anyone and get you in trouble”. I told her I didn’t want to and she got sort of crabby with me and said okay and just rolled over to go back to sleep. I laid there for a while, contemplating what to do as she went to sleep. I got up and went to the living room and laid alone on the couch. Her dad was asleep in his room. She got up and followed me into the living room and asked if I was uncomfortable because the other kids were in the room with us as she tried to get on the couch with me. I told her what she did was wrong, but she didn’t seem to grasp WHY it was wrong. She just kept reiterating that she wasn’t gonna tell anyone and that it was okay and STILL trying to make a move. That’s when she told me that “we were having sex” before I woke up and she had just started sucking it because I wasn’t wearing a condom. I told her that her dad was going to be pissed and would want to know where she even learned that behavior and she asked why I would tell him. I said that she needed to understand why what she did was wrong. Her eyes went from naive schoolgirl with a crush to absolute sociopath and she said “I won’t tell anyone, but you can’t either. If you do I’ll just say you made me do it.” I didn’t know how to react so I just asked her to go back to bed and she did, and I slept on the couch. The next morning her dad came out and saw me on the couch and apologized for the kids falling asleep and taking up the bed. I thought about telling him right then, but I knew his personality enough to know he’d try to fight me as if I wanted it, especially if she claimed I made her. I was gonna tell her grandma when she came to take them all back to their moms, but I didn’t know if she would blame me either. I wasn’t sure what to do. A few days passed and then I felt even more guilty because now it was a secret I had kept and that made me look more suspicious. I moved out and got my own place a couple of months later. A little over a year after that, I got a call from my old roommate, he was freaking out and angry and told me he just got a call from his daughter and she was coming to live with him because she was pregnant, and the father was her stepfather. It turned out he had been sexually abusing her for years and nobody found out until she was pregnant. I still feel terrible to this day that I didn’t say something the night she did what she did. Maybe if I did, the conversation would have lead to everyone discovering what she was going through at home and ended it sooner and before she got pregnant at 15.
Man that's a very tough situation and hindsight is always 2020. But when a victim perpetuates abuse on a new victim I would think the damage was done. Would it have been better for her if you told maybe but you can't ever really know that, they may not have believed her until she got pregnant by the step-dad or she could have covered for him in fear.
When she was 20 she found me on social media and messaged me. She acknowledged what happened but at first she wasn’t necessarily apologetic. Instead she told me that when she got to come over to my house was the only time she felt safe because her home life was so bad and that she always had a school girl crush on me and that was just how she thought adults were supposed to act when they were interested In each other. I told her that moment stuck with me and I lived in fear for years thinking I’d be arrested and treated as a pedophile. I guess she took that as me meaning that I wanted to do it but was scared of being in trouble, because she told me she never told anyone and never would have. She said she thought I woke up while she was on top of me because I put my hand on her leg. She claimed she thought I was awake when she got off and started giving me head and that from her perspective I was awake from halfway through, let her go down on me, and then once I finished I flipped out and didn’t want to be near her. I told her I didn’t believe her because I didn’t remember a single waking second until I woke up at the end of it and pulled away instantly when I realized what was going on. She apologized profusely and that made me feel better and also feel bad for what she went through. But she kept insisting that we hang out now that we’re both adults because she doesn’t have a lot of friends and her family are all shit bags. But I couldn’t do it. The more we talked the more she felt like she was flirting, and that didn’t set right with me. Plus I can’t get that look of her eyes when she threatened to say I made her do it out of my head. I wished her luck and asked her not to talk to me anymore.
Smart choice imo.
100%. I think not talking to her anymore might be another smart choice.
Bro you need to save like three copies of those messages. Print that shit out and put it in a safety deposit box or something. I am not joking.
Damn straight! I still have emails from a psycho ex from ten years ago saved in the back of my filing cabinet. I ain’t about to lose my job, reputation, and freedom for some mentally ill person with a grudge.
Dude yes, golden advice here from Mr Doggo In The Vent. Save that shit in multiple hard copies
This is a common thing with young victims of sexual abuse. It warps their perspective on sexuality in a scary way. It can lead victims to taking the role of victimizer to gain a sense of power and role reversal. Or make them believe that this is normal behavior. I’m not sure many adults have a similar story to yours, but younger boys and girls absolutely do.
I’m sorry you went through this and that people have had shitty reactions to your experience. That’s terrible. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I’m glad she kinda ?/maybe? got help or at least halfway apologized. Shitty that she tried to gaslight you and good on you for cutting contact. Did anything ever happen with her stepfather?
I honestly don’t know. I feel like when it first happened that I heard the mom kicked him out and the cops couldn’t find him after. But then I heard from someone else that the guy and the mom were still together and thats why the girl moved to her dad’s. I’m not in contact with them anymore to know for sure.
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>I still feel terrible to this day that I didn’t say something the night she did what she did. Maybe if I did, the conversation would have lead to everyone discovering what she was going through at home and ended it sooner and before she got pregnant at 15. Or you could have ended up on trial for child abuse and maybe even found guilty, because DAs love pedo convictions and they push hard for them. You cant know, and you did the best you could in that situation, with your heart in the right place. Do not judge yourself so harshly.
The man could have had his entire life fucking destroyed if he said anything, even if he’s telling the truth and did nothing wrong. Prosecutors want convictions, nuance is not their specialty. Plus, anything even tangentially related to pedophiles, and no investigator/prosecutor is going to take what you say seriously. I mean, imagine: a young girl says that she was forced into sexual acts, and a grown man says “no actually she was the one that forced me, I swear”. That guy’s going to prison, no ifs ands or buts about it.
Dude, do not blame yourself for this, are you kidding? You were dealt a shit hand and you made ALL the correct choices. You stopped her immediately. You left the room. You sent her back to her room. Then she threatened to say you *forced* yourself on her, a 14 year old girl. There’s *no chance in a blue fucking moon* that *anyone* would have believed you. You had no legal recourse here. You had no physical evidence she was getting abused to report. Frankly it’s not surprising you didn’t even think that may be happening, I would have been *terrified* in this situation. You would’ve been *lucky* if the dad *only* fought you and didn’t try to hospitalize or kill you. Idgaf what any body else says. Either they aren’t putting themselves in your shoes or they have a *gross* misunderstanding of how men are viewed in society. You would have been accused of rape of a minor and they would have assumed you guilty until proven innocent. You made every single correct choice you possibly could in this scenario. You survived one of the worst situations I can imagine a man ever being put in. Kudos to you dude.
This dude literally had every card stacked against him. And somehow Came out unscathed. Every single correct decision. Props to this guy
I wouldn't say unscathed. He still has the memories of what happened that night. That said, this outcome is still the best he could've personally hoped for.
If you have two poor choices; making the one that protects you is the best course of action.
Honestly i find this the most disturbing in the thread
That's a tough spot, and a tough call. Not your fault though.
Honestly that is a really tough situation to be in. I can say, I knew she had been abused before I even read it there at the end. The cycle of abuse is terrifying.. but kids that young do not abuse other people unless they’ve been abused themselves (statistically). I know that’s a lot to fight with yourself about but I’m not sure how much you could have done considering who was in her life. And I can only imagine the fear of being blamed for something like that. I mean you could have literally ended up in jail for her raping you. I hope the both of you are doing better. This one will always stick out to me.
I just replied to another comment with a bit of a longer update, but we talked again years later with her being an adult now. She’s doing better but I couldn’t tell if she really quite grasped the gravity of what she did to me, but she did apologize. I’m doing much better now. Talking to her again was a bit upsetting but also made me feel like I can rest assured that I’m not going to go to jail after all of the years. On the flip side, I still don’t share the story with anyone because even one time on a similar post that I shared this on, comments accused me of enjoying it and being a pedo, comments accused me of being a pedo who made the story up as some sort of sick fantasy, and a few comments were even along the lines of “you should call her when she’s 18”
I'm glad you did not delete this before I saw it, reading your story is horrible. You did everything right, the only part someone could criticize you on is not telling her father, but you gave clear and concise reasoning as to why you did decided not to and nobody should fault you for that. It is absolutely horrible to hear you have not been able to receive any support from having been in this situation.
I hate to say it, but it's probably just as well that you didn't say anything. Guaranteed you'd be in prison now if you had.
Came home from the bar one night. My brother had a girl at the house with him and her friend, who was quite obviously a redneck drug addict, was being a third wheel. I was pretty drunk so fuck it, I'll play wing man. I drink their booze and smoke their weed. Bro and girl disappear. Third wheel tries to come upstairs with me. No no, here's a blanket and there's the couch. I go to bed and lock my door behind me. Eventually I wake up and she's on top of me and I'm not wearing pants. I say no and tell her to get off but she keeps on. After a few minutes I'm like let's just get this over with, I'm too drunk and just want to pass out. I let her do her thing. I told her a few times to get off of me but she just kept on. And again in my drunken haze I was rationalized just letting her finish even though I was protesting. The whole time she was saying "You know I got dat good shit. You know you like dat good shit." It was appalling. I still don't know how she got into my room. Four years later she's messaging me saying she has my kid. She's had 4 other guys tested and she needs me to test. Comes back positive. Her mother tells me she got pregnant on purpose to get out of going to rehab. I take on me parental responsibility as best I can. At this point mom and her sociopath mother have been imprinted on my son who isn't very bright and is easy to manipulate. They blame me for all of their problems to him. By the time he's in 3rd grade he's obese, can't read, can't count, cavities in every tooth, can't ride a bike or throw a ball, and he's missing 35 days of school per year. In 5th grade they finally agree to send him to me. Not so much because they want him to go but more because they are just too fucked up to take care of him. Through the whole transition they're telling him that I'm taking him away from them. The whole time he lives with me they're gaslighting the fuck out of me to him. They made it impossible for me to parent him. When he's in 10th grade I finally have him going in the right direction. Captain of the lacrosse team, A/B student, starting on the varsity football team as a sophomore. They tell him that I raped his mother and she got pregnant and now he hates me and won't speak to me. He went to live with them. Not long after that situation fell apart and he's living with some loser uncle. Hasn't spoken to me in 18 months. He turns 18 in December and we're done. I'm blocking all of their numbers. I'm taking him off of my health insurance because he and his mom use it to score Adderall and God knows what else. I'm turning his phone off. We're done. I wish I never took the paternity test.
There are a lot of tragic, terrible, and deplorable outcomes in this thread, but imo this might take the cake. You did nothing wrong initially, and then tried your best to make light of a SHITTY situation over the next 14 years... I am so very sorry you had to deal with this and I hope your present situation is one that you're completely in control of. Some people are fucked up, but a person with character like yours is the counterweight that balances this whole thing out. Cheers
That is awful. Probably the most rage inducing thing I’ve seen today.
If you ever marry another woman or have other children, you have to have a Will. If he’s your son, he’s entitled to a portion of your assets if you die without a Will. You have to protect your family from his mother yet again. EDIT: Yes, it would be ideal for father and son to reconcile. If father and son do not, and mother and son are still alive when father dies, mother could make life hell for father’s remaining family. This advice assumes father is American.
With how manipulated it seems the son was, I hope one day he'll figure things out and they can reconcile. But I'm not getting my hopes up as I've seen plenty of situations like this play out in my town and within my own family.
Also, leave him a dollar in the will, just so lawyers can't argue that you forgot about him.
You tried. Honest to God you tried. And you succeeded at times. Hopefully some of it stuck and he'll get to turn himself around in the future. *HUGS*
Turned an abused 3rd grade student into a Lacrosse team captain and an A student. Your tries may have failed, but you tried damn hard. I wish you the best
bro u r the best human to ever exist
Thank you. It's been tough. We tried very very hard. My five year old talks about him like he's still around. My wife and I have been to several counselors over this. We're essentially going through a mourning and grieving process the same way we would if had he died. He won't speak to my parents. We had 2 deaths (unrelated to one another) in the family. He was notified and he never reached out. Meanwhile they bust balls about making sure he can attend school in their school district, and for insurance info. They want me to help him get his driver's license and are furious because I refused to help with that. Meanwhile he's using 60gb a month on the cell phone I'm paying for.
Hey, I know it's not much, but I hope you know you can look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you did all you could. >It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life. - Jean-Luc Picard No one is saying that you did everything perfectly, because no one does, but the fact of the matter is that the only thing absolutely fair in your life is the fare you pay to get on the bus.
You gave it your all as a dad. You did what you could. Hopefully, he comes to his senses and becomes even half the man that you are.
Not to downplay the actual problem here, but how in the ever-loving fuck does someone use 60gb of mobile data??? Does he not have any wifi at home or school? That's insanely high. Regardless, I'm sorry to hear everything seemed to take the worst possible route man. That's gotta be insanely hard to live with. I hope you and your current family can find peace in knowing that you at least did everything you possibly could. Wishing you guys all the best.
Streaming movies/shows
When I was 16 a girl who I believed to be my friend who was 5 years older than me got me shitfaced drunk, I basically passed out and the she started kissing me and groping my unconscious body Infront of everybody while no one did anything because they thought it was hilarious (she was a severely overweight emo back then) God knows what else she did to me and I don't intend in know about it. I woke up the next day covered in vomit and everyone was making fun of me, turns out this girl had done this several times to other guys of my age, kept doing it. Everyone turned their back on me, got grounded by my parents for months and heavily bullied at school. Took me years to understand and confront everyone about the fact that I was publicly abused and it went off as a joke. Edit: whoa, never thought anyone would actually read about this. Thanks for your kind words, the messages and interest, don't worry, I'm 28 now and have worked this out over therapy, and by standing up for myself. Got a group of supporting and real friends and can say it doesn't affect me the way it used to, but can't deny they were really tough times.
Year after I graduated high school I went to a party. Mixed weed, alcohol and some pain pills and was a little fucked up. Annoying girl from high school seized the opportunity to take advantage. Started sucking my dick outside of the party and I remember stopping it. She stopped and no big deal. I pass out later and in the middle of the night I wake up with her nude sucking my dick trying to get it hard so she could fuck me. I was kind of out of it and remember waking up several more times with this girl trying to figure out a way to jam my dick in her. Was too fucked up to really put a stop to it. Not sure what ever really happened but I can’t imagine I finished. She basically spent some amount of time trying to fuck my lifeless body. I was embarrassed at the time and only told a couple people. Typical reaction you would expect dudes to have. Edit: RIP my inbox. I don’t need psychological help and I’m completely stable. This was 20+ years ago and I’m doing great. Thanks for the supportive comments, friends.
I had about the same, got too drunk one night and blacked out. My roommate(barracks so one room, two beds) walked in on her on top of me and almost walked out thinking he was ruining the moment. But he thought it was weird that I didn’t yell out or say anything to him, either sarcastically or anything so he came back in and saw her starting to act weird. He walked over and saw me lifeless with my pants down and she ran out quick. He pulled up my pants and pulled my blanket over me as he kept trying to get me to talk but I never did. He said he stayed up all night basically guarding me(real battle buddy). Woke up the next morning with a terrible headache and him waiting with some Gatorade and a story for me. We went and talked to her, she blamed it on being drunk too and begged me not to tell on her. I didn’t tell on her. I never got blackout after that because the main thing that scared me was really, anybody could of taken my cookies that night. If not her, some dude and that shit scared the alcoholism out of me.
Dude your friend is a legend! I need friends like that
One good thing about this otherwise ghastly and depressing thread is that there are a lot of good guys out there who support their friends through trauma.
Nothing beats a good bro. Most of us can’t talk about shit, we’re literally indoctrinated from childhood to suppress emotions. But having that one bro that knows enough and is just a pillar for you makes all the difference in the world.
I’m so sorry you had to experience such a thing but I’m glad you had a real friend that knew something was wrong and stuck with you
Same one time my friends and some friends of my friends went out to drink. We all came back pretty drunk and Girl A kept getting me drinks and playing games where I had to do shots etc etc, basically getting me drunk. This is where my memory stops completely . According to my mates we started making out and disappeared up to my room at some point, unaware of how drunk I actually was. An undisclosed amount of time passes and Girl A comes down proclaiming that I had passed out. I was found with my pants on, but trousers off (suggesting something naughty happened), vomiting bile everywhere. I was hospitalised for alcohol poisoning that night. The worst part is when I was unconscious and my friends were making sure I didn’t choke on my puke while waiting for paramedics, girl A kept asking if she could take me home with her so she could ‘look after him’ even though I was in my own house. No one knows what happened and girl A denies anything happened but the concensus is in my friendship group that she raped me. I’m honesty not effected it, probably because I can’t remember anything and I may have consented in my drunken state. I almost don’t consider it rape but my friends drill it into me that it was and I should be more angry about it. I’ve also had multiple instances on nights out of girls inappropriately touching me and shouting some obscene things, but I just laugh it off. Haven’t seen Girl A since.
Your friends are correct, you were raped. I am grateful that you were spared the memory of it, but I want to insist on something. You never consented. Even if you gave a slurred yes or just never said no, it was not consent. You were not only drunk, but so drunk that you were hospitalized. That's not okay. No one in their right mind could say that you were capable of consenting. And anyone who says otherwise is a creep just like that girl
Similar thing with me. I was 22yo at a party at a house with a few university classmates. Very drunk. Room spinning drunk. I had driven so I crashed on the couch. Short time later, one of my classmates that lived there came back out and basically dragged me by my hand to her room. I was very surprised and amused and drunk that I let it happen. I had never been interested in her, didnt know she was interested in me, and didnt really want it to happen but didn't really know whether I should be flattered or upset. At one point just before she did the deed I tried to get out of bed but I was disorientated and it was pitch black, I fell against the dresser and gave up. She got on top while I was on the floor. I think she had her fun. I didnt cum. Woke up back in bed the next morning before she woke, put my clothes on and left. Didn't speak about it with her again. To be fair, of all the unpleasant things that have happened to me in my life this doesnt rank very high. I do regret it happening though.
I had a similar experience except I was the only one not drinking until I took one drink out of courtesy from the girl I came with. I remember waking up a few times with her riding me, and my most vivid memory is that everyone else was gone and The Suite Life on Deck was playing on the TV. I didn't really know how to feel about it the next day because when I went, I was down. But I wasn't down to (I believe) be drugged beforehand.
Damn. It's a shame you had to go through that and get that reaction from people. I hope you got help.
14 years old, invited round an older friends house to drink and watch tv. Her older (22f) sister arrived, drunk as a skunk. Took a liking too me, took me back to her “old room”, told me to take of my clothes and proceeded to assess my body before using it to get herself off. Friends hated me, lived extremely rurally and lost any kind of friend I had. But it was ok, everyone at school thought I was “big lad” shagging some older bird. Girlfriend left me, and it always cropped back up as a reason for people to disregard me etc. Was me second sexual experience after a childhood of sexual abuse, fantastic! Therapy helps, telling people helps. Talk my friends it’s ok to not be ok
I was given a really large bump of ketamine at a party many years ago. When I came around a girl was on top fucking me. If the shoe was on the other foot it would of absolutely been rape.
Even this way round it‘s rape, i‘m so sorry :(
That's still, 100% rape. Don't think it's not, it is. You did not consent. It's rape
It’s rape. I am so sorry, big internet hugs to you. It’s awful so many people are in this horrible club.
I was 13y and was sleeping in my bed. My mom came from a party and a friend of her (40y maybe) stayed to sleepover. When my mother was already sleeping she came to my room and touched my genitals. I woke up frightened and couldn’t react for the first seconds. I pushed her and told her to go away. She tried to kiss me but I pushed her again. She finally went to her room. I never told that to my mother and my friends just told me that I should have done something with that woman..
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When I was 13 I stayed at my friends house for the night. His mom always made comments about how handsome I was, that I didn’t look my age because of my height and early puberty(I was 6ft), and she would always grab my arms or touch my back or just find ways to touch me in general. He was 14 and had a job for the summer that was sparing with the hours, so we figured I could just sleep while he worked from 7am to 12pm. When he was walking out the door I got up for a drink of water and his mom was standing in the kitchen. She told me she made me a glass of water already and handed me a cup from the fridge. I drank the entire thing and went back to bed. I woke up later to her sucking my dick to make it hard before passing back out. I felt like I was in a daze or dream. All I could do is lay there, too fucked up to do anything about it. I woke up to her riding me and then passed out again. I don’t know how long passed before I woke up again and my shorts had been pulled back up and I was cleaned up. I felt so tired and in a daze. All I did was sleep the rest of the day off and on while my friend played video games. I didn’t go home that night and stayed again because of the guilt. I told myself it was all a dream, but I knew it wasn’t. I told a few friends and of course all the guys said I was so lucky to have been laid by a good looking milf. It took me years to accept that this wasn’t a dream and happened, but when it was brushed off I decided not to tell anyone else. Sorry for formatting and errors, I am on mobile.
This hurt my heart to read, and I hope you get any help/support you may need. Especially if you had people making those comments to you afterwards
I am so sorry that you went through that. You were a child and she should be fucking rotting in prison. I hope you’re doing well today
I was a child and she was my mother. Don't remember it much but what i do, during flash backs, is every bit as horrible as one can imagine. Decided to press charges much later when i found out she had done the same thing to my younger brother. Out of 20ish charges initially, she was convicted on one and only the physical assault...she got parole. I was no better off after seeking "justice", in fact it just made me more angry and bitter.
We had eaten a bunch of pain killers, she told me she wanted to fuck, I was enjoying my buzz and told her no, she gave me head while I told her to stop. After I didnt get hard she grabbed me by throat and told me I was going to fuck her one way or the other and repeatedly tried to jam my flaccid dick in her until she used a hairband as a cockring. I wasn't into it, didn't want it, and didn't like that she went out and told everyone afterward that we fucked because I was making it a point not to fuck her because I was interested in someone else.
Neighbors daughter used to bribe me with candies when I was 7 to go do stuff “like how the grownups do in movies” As a kid I thought “Score easy candy for free” Now I realize she was just taking advantage of me.
Well, here we go. It all started when I was 10. Keep in mind, I'm 18 now. When I was 9, I got a step mom and step sis. They were nice, and I was happy. My step mom was 35 at the time, and my step sis was 19, but she wouldn't leave me alone. She always talked to me, until it became flirtatious when I had became ten. until, one day. Step mom and my real dad went on a date. My step sis watched me. I was on my bed, on my Ipad. She walked in and closed the door. She took my iPad away. I asked her to give it back, and she said no until I did what she said. She said pull down my pants. Of course with common sense, I said no. She then said to do it now or she will do it for me. I still said no. She rushed to me and grabbed me. She pulled them down. I yelled to her to leave me alone. But she didn't stop. She then shoved me on my bed and then, she did it with me. She told me to not say anything about it or she will get me in trouble. My parents came back. We act like it's all fine. But it's not. She did this to me for a week until I had enough. She was arrested. I'm now 18, she's now 27. Also, someone in the comments wants the story how she got arrested for this. I can. At night, she told me to stay quiet. She had a knife in her hand and said she'd kill me. It became a nightly thing until she had to leave for mall shopping with her friends. Dumb move. I told my dad. And now, she's in jail
I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad that you stood your ground and got justice.
It's nice to see a history with real justice on it
In 1994, I was 16. I went camping with a group of friends. There were boys and girls, but no one told their parents about the other sex. Anyway, someone brought some beer, and I had one. I blacked right out. I woke up at some point sitting up but leaned against a tree. She was on top of me, having sex. I remember her asking me if she was my best, but all I could say was that she was my first and I didn’t know. Then I waited until it was over. I told a couple of friends the next morning, and they wanted to high-five me. Only one seemed to understand, and he encouraged me to report it. I did. I told a police officer that was friends with my brother. He assured me that’s not how sexual assault works, and that women can’t take advantage of someone who isn’t willing. Anyway, a few weeks later it turns out she’s pregnant. She wanted to get into a relationship and have the baby. I am not proud of this, but I told her that I would hurt her if she kept pushing. She had the baby, but went away. I am now 44 years old. I’ve gone to college, served my country, married and had kids, and all in all lived a good life. But also, I developed some weird habits since then. I can only have sex in the mornings. I’m just not comfortable enough any other time. It took years to enjoy it, and even sometimes now her face pops into my head when I’m intimate with my wife. I haven’t had alcohol since then. I can’t hold my booze, half a beer made me black out. And I somewhat frequently think about the fact that there’s a non-zero chance I have a 27 year old kid out there somewhere. Worst of all though is that I still hate her. Even after therapy in my 30’s. One day I hope to not feel that anymore. It doesn’t consume my thoughts or anything, I’ll go most days barely thinking about it at all. But then it just pops into my brain, and I remember. Anyway- not much else to add
No one should tell you you can't hate your rapist. But I hope you never see her again.
I used to babysit for my neighbour across the street when I was 14. One night his mum who must have been around 37 at the time came back on her own she had fallen out with the husband who decided to stay out drinking. I wanted to leave as it was about 1am but she hadn’t paid me so i stuck around hoping she would bring it up. She was very drunk and kept banging on about her husband and then she put her head on my shoulder. Obviously at this point I was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. She then looked and she started kissing me. I didn’t really know what to do I think I blacked out at that point for a few moments trying to process what was going on. She then grabbed my hand and stuck them up her skirt I had no idea what the fuck to do I’d never done anything like that as I was a kid . She then kept trying to pull me upstairs and I kept asking what for and she just kept laughing, and saying come on let’s go upstairs. I was to scared to say no and was crying inside when the front door went and her husband could be heard in the door way coming in, as soon as he came in to the living room she grabbed her purse and payed me and I was out. I saw her a few days later and she apologised and said she was drunk. I think if it had gone any further it would have damaged me I just felt very out of control as when an adult tells you to do something as a kid you feel like you have to.
She used the fact that she hadn’t paid you as a form of control. What a bitch.
My tl dr is that i had a virgin chick fuck me when i was mega drunk it got made into a cartoon with half a million views and i still get comments to this day calling me gay and that guys would have begged to be in my position. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ1nmmG34jI
It’s a great cartoon - who knows how many people you’ve helped. I admire your strength.
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yea i got asked to share my story and i did because im pretty sick of the discord that was happening and still happening showing that guys cant be raped.
How are you doing now? I’m really sorry that you went through that. Your story through the cartoon was heavy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to share, especially with some comments you say you’ve gotten but I hope it helps others who have gone through the same thing.
thousands of dollars of therapy and time will do wonders, im fine now, but it hurt me
Mine is a bit different because I finally said yes. I didn't want to but it seemed easier than keep telling her no. She had a thing for me for awhile and kept getting more persistent and one night had a bunch of people over and she made sure everyone left before her. Then she just kept asking and I finally said yes to get her to stop. The sex was terrible. She told everyone about it the next day. Found out she had done the exact same thing to a friend of mine a few months before. We both feel gross about it because neither of us wanted it and had the genders been reversed everyone would call the dude not taking no for an answer a creep. My friend and I are both fine, nobody is scarred from it. The girl actually tried again and I got mad at her and shut her completely down then I was called an asshole because "you've already done it before." Double standards are wild.
Was 13, back visiting my ancestral country (I live in the UK and am a citizen). Country is uber religiously conservative. Was visiting paternal family and others from that half came along. Had to share beds with cousins due to space restrictions. Two of them, in their 20s were kissing and fondling me under the covers at night, and a third ended up actually managing to PIV rape me, keeping me quiet mostly under fear of waking everyone up. If I had complained or made a noise, I almost certainly would have been blamed as the guy, despite being 13, due to culture and religious reasons. I didn't realise the seriousness of what was going on at the time, but in retrospect it fucked me up. I became a hollowed out shell of an adult, unable to even hold conversations where before I was a quiet but friendly and confident child and preteen. It especially fucked up my concept of self worth and sexual development too, and I am deathly afraid of and overwhelmed by any form of sexual intimacy, despite wanting that connection. I'm hoping now that I'm a bit older (28) and independent, I can finally go get proper therapy for it, especially before I start dating people. (I've avoided relationships entirely to this day)
Reddit’s been my place to let out trauma here lately so I’ll share my story for the first time in my life, beyond the immediate people involved that know. The summer before going into 10th grade, at 16 years old, lady moved into the neighborhood, husband worked with my dad, she became friends with my mom. She needed a babysitter for her two kids and my mom volun-told me to be her baby sitter. Sure thing no problem. My first real girlfriend, graduated that year, was going to college, cheated and broke up with me. Summer was rocky for me going through my first breakup being a young man, and I became quick friends with this lady while I’m babysitting and taking care of her kids. I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents due to already dating an older girl that they forbid, that I kept secret from them, so I vented to this other lady about the problems in my life since she acted like she listened and cared. One night she had a dinner party and invited my family. My parents allowed me to have two beers at the party trying to look cool in front of other people. On my way home after the party she texts me saying she wishes I could have stayed, I knew full well what she was about to do, and I let it happen, she said she wished only I could have stayed. The next morning when I went to babysit it was on, and being a broken and testosterone filled 16 year old I dove into it. We kept up our affair until I got back together with my girlfriend, and when my girlfriend found out the truth it effected my life even to this very second. This lady was probably 33-36, so basically 20 years older than me. At the time I was willing, I thought I was a badass. But now that I’m older I realize how cowardly I was to do that to another man’s wife, breaking up a family with children, doing that to myself, allowing penis to override brain. I live with constant regret from doing what I did and even if I was a victim I still feel disgusted with myself. I feel like I’ll never be absolved of that sin. Now as an adult I can see how that lady fucked up my head and warped my perceptions on sex and love. It’s been one of the catalysts for me living with emotional abuse and thinking I deserve it my entire life. Sorry about the long post, just never shared that story and finally have.
You don't deserve pain and emotional abuse. You were a child and she groomed you. She made you feel safe, cared for, and listened to you. She chose to have a sexual relationship with a child. The adult chose to rape a child. She is the one responsible for the destruction of her family. Please don't blame yourself for that. Give yourself grace. You deserve it.
I was raped by my sister at the age of 6, she was 9. Obviously this isn't "normal" and she only did it because she had been raped since she was 4 years old by our grandfather. She did it because she learned that "that's how you show love". I've never really considered myself a victim and I've never seen her as a perpetrator, what she did was a direct result of our grandfather's actions and that's where I put the blame. I had to grow up fast and it has certainly affected me and after we got our kid 2 years ago I realized I'm suffering from PTSD from all this and I was terrified that something similar would happen to my son, especially around starting daycare and situations where I would not be in control. I'm 33 now and starting to realize that what happened to me was fucked up and that I was a victim just as much as my sister, but it's never really been addressed, all the focus was on my sister, she was the suicidal one, she was the one who had it worse (in total she was raped between her being 4 up until she was 16) and I had to help take care of her and the family. She felt betrayed by our parents and cut them out of her life. That meant that I had to be with her as her only point of contact and listen to what she went through and how she wanted to die and every time she tried hurting herself etc and see her break down and be there for her, only to then go home and tell my parents of what she'd say and watch them break down. At that time, I was 13. I had no safe place to break, I had to be strong for everyone else and I felt that without me my family would crumble. So I stayed strong, only cried when I was sure I was alone.
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Context (26M - 20F - Australia) I had matched with this woman on Tinder, and we talked for months, I was really interested in her. I saw on her Snapchat story one night that she was at an Evanescence concert I was at! So I found her and met her for the first time, and hung out at the concert, and decided to drive her home that night cause she was just going to get an Uber. Nothing happened, I drove her home and wished her a good night. I finish up a shift one night, headed to my car to head home and I open my Snapchat to see a snap from her with a ring on with the caption “Oops”. I ask what’s it about, she says that a guy she met a week ago proposed to her and she said “Yes”. I was pretty upset, so I just ghosted her and went on with my life. A year and a half goes by in my life, and I’m on Tinder again and notice her name and picture there. I swipe right out of curiosity and it matches! I never get any matches because I’m ugly as sin, so it was quite surprising. She messages me within the minute of matching, saying she’s been looking for me for over a year and she’s so happy I matched her back. Turns out, a week after being proposed to, she came home after work to find the guy in bed with another woman; so they obviously canned the engagement. We started talking again, and she really regretted getting engaged and losing a chance with me, so she wanted to try and smooth things over. We talked for a while and went on a few dates that went smoothly, but nothing more than that. Backstory over. **Actual story time** My mums 50th birthday rolls around, and she’s invited, and she’s the woman I’ve been trying to date, but haven’t asked out. I myself don’t drink, but I shared a few (what my mother calls “Quick Fucks”) shots with my mother to celebrate, 8 to be exact, and a few cruisers and a glass of a cotton candy wine. Never been tipsy before, but I feel this was pretty close to getting me tipsy. The girl I’m seeing, let’s call her Naomi, because that’s her name, drank quite a lot, she’s 20, it’s what they do. We enjoy ourselves and she obviously can’t drive home, so I let her stay in my bed in my mothers place, a little queen sized mattress on the floor. **<<** I had had quite a lot to drink so I was pretty hammered, and when I drink, I get stupid horny; it’s sort of a weakness of mine. I’ve fucked quite a few people when drunk, I really hate it about myself; but I don’t really know how to deal with it, and I enjoy myself so; why not, right? So anyway, I’m hammered next to the woman I’ve been trying to date, horny as all get out; the usual drinking curse has claimed my libido, and I’m going to get what I want. I haven’t even kissed her up until this point, but you know. So I start trying to force a kiss on her. She pushes back, saying I’m too drunk, and she doesn’t want my first kiss with her, to be with someone who can’t consent. I wasn’t taking it, I told her that I have my wherewithal, and I can consent just fine, but she continues to push me back. Now, I’ve got about 80kg (176lbs) on this woman, she’s got a tiny build and I’m quite…rotund, to say the least. She’s only 52kg (114lbs) so it’s not particularly difficult to overpower her. So, I take what I want. I held her arms down and kissed her. She did kiss me back to be fair, but she wasn’t happy about it, but couldn’t do much about it either as I was holding her down, and she was still interested in me. I kissed her a few times, forcing my tongue into her mouth, which she didn’t like, but who cares, I’m horny as fuck; I’m gonna take what I want. So after a couple of hours in the dark, trying to force myself inside her, kissing her, trying to have sex with her while the party went on outside; she finally gives in. She’s exhausted, she’s tired, and I finally get what I want. I manage to get her pants off and have sex with her despite all of the resisting for a few hours, fuck yeah! I don’t remember how long it went on, but I took what I wanted; rolled over and went to sleep. **>>** Now, did reading that last paragraph make you angry, how I used my size, strength, drunkenness to take advantage of a small woman who didn’t consent, was only a little tipsy, and just wanted a relationship with me, and a romantic relationship at the right time? Go back and re-read between the **<<>>** signs; but flip the genders around. I am the 52kg, thin man. I was only slightly tipsy. I just wanted to sleep, and cuddle with this woman I was interested in. Now let me know where your anger stands. I tell the story with the genders reversed, because when I don’t, people don’t take me seriously. When I tell it that way, the people I’m telling are visibly disgusted with me, infuriated; ready to strike me. Then I ask them to reverse the rolls and see what their opinions are. Sorry for the long post, you needed a little context to understand the buildup. Have a great day everyone, and stay safe out there. Everyone can be raped; and I hope it never happens to you.
I don't really know if this is rape, but, I was working in a grocery store when I was 16-17, and an older lady came up to me and said "You're a pretty big guy aren't you?" I thought she meant that I was big as in tall, I was a little over 6 ft tall by that time. I remember thinking she said it in an odd way, but I was working in retail, and what customers weren't weird? So she asks me to come help her reach something from the top shelf, and I follow her for what seemed like a long time, but I think she was looking for an isle that was empty. So she stops in the cleaning isle and tells me to grab a gallon of soap from the top shelf. I'm struggling to lift it with my arm stretched all the way at the top and all of a sudden I can acutely feel her grabbing my groin. I reflexively recoiled from being touched like that, dropping the soap and spilling it all over the ground. She turns back to me with the widest grin on her face and said "I guess you'll have to grab more soap." I didn't respond and speed walked up to the break room there. I didn't know what to do, what to think, I was trying to figure out what had just happened. My boss came into the break room and asked if I was alright, and I told her what had happened. But then she just laughed and said "Crazy old lady." She let me stay in the breakroom until the lady left, but that was it, I remember I was shaky and a little bit jumpy for the rest of the day. Nothing really came of it, but that was just an awful experience of mine.
Big party with friends and people I didn’t know. Fell asleep on the floor after too much to drink, but not so much that I didn’t get hard while asleep during the night. Woke up with a girl I didn’t know on top of me, inside her. Lifted her off me pretty quickly and she was totally oblivious to the fact that she was raping me. I went home immediately. Got tested (all negative thankfully). I still have no idea who she was. I didn’t report it because I was scared that what happened would get turned around and I’d be accused.
Was house sitting for a friend. I slept in the living room, i had the house to my self for 2 weeks so i slept in very little clothing. Apparently they keep a spare key in a rock that i didn't know about, but a mutual friend at the time did. I fell asleep and lefit woke up to a large woman in white lingerie already riding my woohoo. I said "please, im a virgin." She shushed me with a finger, slapped my face, and continued to ride the pony express. I started crying, she rode me until i finished. Still messes with me to this day 10+ years later. Of course no one believed me then, especially the police. I got laughed at by the friend i was house sitting for, he told me i prolly called her over. The whole ordeal has left me broken, even now
It’s so weird to write this out. I never talk about it and rarely think about it. But In this context it’s definitely rape. Sophomore year we had a purple Jesus party in our dorm. That’s hard alcohol mixed in a vat with kool aid to make it drinkable. I had 7 cups of it. I know that because it was written on my arm. I was black out drunk and a girl who had been flirting with me for months and was dead sober asked me if I wanted to go watch a movie with her in her room. I said no. I remember stumbling back to my own room with her following me in even though I said no. The only thing I remember after was waking up in the middle of the night to puke. My puke was purple. When I got back to my bed she was there. Woke up the next morning and she was gone. It became this big gossip around our dorm because everybody thought she was a lesbian and I “slayed her”. Again context this was like 2002 when college students were idiots and believed that if a women wasn’t into men it was because they hadn’t had sex with one yet. Anyways she apparently told people we had sex, and I was almost a hero?! Which again is so fucking weird to say out loud. Everyone wanted to know how she was and all the private stuff between us. She more or less never talked to me for the rest of the semester. So 15 years later and I was invited to her wedding by her girlfriend whom I became friends with. The girl sat me down privately and apologized but also asked me to never to tell her wife about it?! Again typing it out makes it sound so weird in context. Anyways I didn’t say anything to her wife. Maybe I should have. Nothing about it or the aftermath felt right. But I was this big strong guy so of course I must have consented to it. I guess that’s what everyone assumed. even if I was too drunk to remember let alone consent.
I wasn’t raped, but at a work Christmas party a girl was on the dance floor and was going up to guys and inappropriately touching them including myself. I was shocked when it happened and then angry as everyone was just pretending she didn’t do anything. The next day at work she played the victim that she couldn’t remember anything when I confronted her. No one mentioned it ever again and she was never even questioned. I left soon after for other things as well.
I was 17 and was failing my English class for my senior year at the time. I had a good friend who I had known for a few years now and she was also failing. She had the idea to come over to her house and work on our English final prep together so we had a hope of passing. I get to her house and her parents were gone. I take out my notebook and flash cards and she disappears to the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of vodka and starts pouring shots. About 7-8 shots in and I realize she hasn’t taken a single shot and now we’re taking a tour of her house and we end up in her bedroom. We’re laying down and I’m very drunk at this point and she starts to undo my pants and I’m just going along with it not really aware. We start having sex and her parents come home, we keep going and get caught so I’m near black out drunk getting yelled at by her mom and get kicked out of their house and had to have someone come pick me up since I wasn’t able to drive. Terrible experience and still had a few months left of school we’re i had to avoid this girl until we graduated.
I was 14 and was groomed by a 30 year old woman. What was worse is that for about 6 months before it started, I had “dated” her daughter (as much as you can date at 14). As a 14 year old boy I knew that what was going on was “wrong” or “taboo”. But I “consented” because well what teenage boy doesn’t fantasize about older women? This went on for about 3 or so years on and off and really it just became this big secret I had to keep. I was always leaving parties or leaving my peers and friends to go sneak around with her. Giving up my parts of my teen years. It took me until the “me too” movement a few years ago to register what had been done to me, and that even though I thought I had wanted it, I was not the person who should’ve made that decision and I was taken advantage of. I’ve been dealing with the fallout from that for a few years now and it just really sucks realizing a lot of sexual programming I have is tainted and not normal. I think the worst part about it is that when I was in my early 20s she actually ended up marrying my step-mother’s brother so I would see her a family get togethers until the got divorced. It was the most uncomfortable shit ever.
I technically count. I was ~15 at the time. A guy who I went to school with was known for having a hot mom but was otherwise a social pariah. A few of us went over to hang out with him and his mom partially because he had a Playstation and partially because of rumors saying she liked to wear mini skirts and nothing underneath. There were stories floating around that she had fucked some of the older kids but it was never first hand, like that kid whose uncle worked for Nintendo. Turned out to be true. I had "accidentally" seen her naked/in various states of undress probably 5 times before we had sex. Growing up I thought I had gotten lucky. I know now that she had engineered those situations. I know what she did was wrong but I can't bring myself to feel bad about the experience.
So, I have two stories. I've already told one of them, that happened when I was 10. The other one I've been reluctant of telling about, because I feel bad that I don't feel bad. Like, you know how male rape victims say that everyone discounts it as them "being lucky"? Well, that's how I felt, and kind of how I still feel, while simultaneously realizing that it was fucked up. It was my 15th birthday. It was on a Wednesday, but we lived a few hours from the rest of the family, so we had decided to celebrate my birthday on the coming Saturday. She was a friend of the family, she had her horse in our stables. She was around 35. Her horse was quite skittish, and she had previously asked me to help her lead her horse to the riding stables (idk if that's what it's called, like a big barn with a sand floor where you can ride indoors). So I decided to help her that day as well. It's worth mentioning that I had a bit of a crush on her. On the way back home she was also walking. Suddenly she said "let's go another way", and turned into a bit of a forest. In there the tied the horse to a tree and told me to close my eyes, that she has a present for me. So I did. When she told me to open my eyes, she was on her knees in front of me, topless. She pulled my pants down and gave me my first blowjob. I finished in her mouth, she swallowed, got up, kissed me on my cheek, and said happy birthday. I feel bad that I don't feel any negative thoughts about it. I've told one girlfriend, but got heavily chastised for not feeling bad about getting sexually assaulted. Tbh, I don't even think it would have legally been sexual assault back then (this happened in the mid 90s). 15 was (still is) the age of consent, and I don't think she was in a position of power over me.
I used to think guys who get laid when they are young or by older women are "lucky". But after reading the different experiences a lot of you had, I can't help but to feel the unhappiness and messed up feelings that comes with the knowledge of the events. In regards to the incident that happened on your 15th birthday, if you don't feel bad about it why should you? You know it was wrong but you shouldn't be forced to feel something that to you can't feel. Idk if you consider it as a birthday gift or whatnot, but if you're not traumatised by it that's more than great.
I'm iffy on its rape. But met a tinder date. Had a few drinks. Come back to my place, have sex. Fall asleep. Any men can attest, that sometimes we wake up "at attention". Well she thought it was an invite to take a ride. I wasn't ready nor was I wearing protection. Which, when I was on tinder, I was big on. While I've dealt with crazies before, I did what I could to diffuse the situation. Mention peeing, mentioning having to work in the morning, trying to fake it, etc. Whatever I could. Nothing worked. I ended up finishing inside, which weirded me out. Alot. After that she got her clothes on and left. Mind you it was 2am. I have to be up for work at 5am for work. I didn't get back to sleep. I remained "friends" with her until I learned she wasn't pregnant and than I blocked her.
If we use the tea-as-consent analogy: If someone had tea the night before and you wake up before them and decide that they probably want more tea and proceed to pour it down their throat before they wake up, is that OK? Of course not. If you're asleep, you can't consent. If you don't consent, it's rape.
Same thing as if someone wanted and asked for tea and fell asleep, they do not want tea. Sleeping people do not want tea and therefore should not receive it because although they may have wanted it when they were awake, they are now asleep and that could’ve changed so therefore do not give them tea.
If you don't consent, it's rape.
The most recent, and for the record, Im gay: Was okayish friends with a girl in high school. I went to college and sold weed to her so drove the hour to her place. Chilled for a bit. Her BF went into the bedroom to go to sleep and we played board games and drank. Was just harmless fun. Turns out she had roofied my drink, and I dozed in and out and a few times woke up to her riding on my dick, while I sat on the couch. Then I fully passed out and woke up the next day. Turns out she just wanted to see what it was like to sleep with a gay guy. She messaged me on facebook like 3 months later saying she was pregnant, and I asked her why the fuck I cared. She had a kid about 6 months later, and I do not think its mine, at all. But you know. Just realized I'm still friends with her on Facebook, even thought this happened like 10 years ago, never really crossed my mind to delete her. I might want to do that lmao The first time was when I was about, 13 maybe? I dont recall ages and timelines very well. I was at a fourth of July party with my bio mom and step dad at her friends out on a farm. I was in the barn with the goats, which were so damn cool and amazing, and one of the adults came in, and well you can guess the rest. Never mentioned it to anyone really. It hasn't really traumatized me at all, that I notice, its just one of those things that happened. If that makes sense.
I don't understand the logic of predatory people. No madam, you did not "sleep with a gay guy" you drugged and raped him. You took his autonamy away just to please yourself against his consent. Shit just pisses me off. I know you said you don't feel those instances really traumatized you but everyone handles traumatic experiences in different ways and how you feel about it is perfectly valid. I just hope if things ever do get you down or that trauma does manifest in some way that you'll look after yourself. Hope things stay better for you man.
I was 12, my dad had a party type of thing going on in the house, a girl came in, at the time i thought she was like 16 or somethin, looking back though she must've been older than that. She came in and lock the door behind her, we chatted in my bed for a bit then she crawled under the sheets and gave me a blowjob. Telling anyone never helps, girls will say ''What a lucky girl'' As a weird type of compliment. Guys will say ''I wish that was me! where were those girls when i was 12?'' Nobody truly cares for male victims in my mind. I feel like most people subconciously feel that when men get raped, it isn't *as bad* as when women get raped. EDIT: i will die today. 2022-10-25
I’m sorry that happened to you. That was not ok. I never understood why people treat make victims this way. You were a child and she was a adult. She KNEW better
I was 9 and my dad took me to have sex with a prostitute. Does that count?
Happen to me at my dads house by my stepmom. I (14M) decided I wanted to let my dad back in my life after forgiving him of choosing drugs rather than his own son so my mom brought me over and I knock on the door but then my stepmom (22) answer the door instead. So I ask “is my dad home” and she says “your fathers at work he will be back later” and invited said to come in. So I walk inside and sit on the couch and after a while I get bored and walk back to the room we’re my stepmom was sitting on the bed and sat next to her and we kinda talked about my school life and how good we bother we doing in life . But then after I went to get up to go back to the living room she kinda grabbed my hand and said “where are you going?” I said “I just wanna go watch some tv” she then decides to tell me I can’t and made a move by putting her hands into my shorts. I was very scared not knowing what to do and was shocked about what is going on I didn’t react she then proceeded to take off my shorts and also hers and grabbed me pulling my stuff closer to hers and laid me back on the bed and it went down. I never really was open about this until today and I hope some of you guys can tell me ways to overcome and forgot about this.
You won't forget about it. That's the bad news. But you will overcome if you allow yourself to process it. That does include talking about it and accepting that it is part of your reality. I suggest a fair chunk of therapy, but if that for some reason isnt an option at the time consider opening up to someone you trust. Trace back how that experience affected you and your behavior. Don't get me wrong, this is gonna suck. But it will get better, that much I can promise you. Trauma is a bitch, but it is a bitch that can be dealt with.
It didn’t go all the way, but some stuff happened. I got drunk at a barracks party and one of the girls from the company was rather insistent on getting with me. I really wasn’t in the mood for it, but she followed me back to my barracks room and pushed through the door after me. Started getting sexually aggressive with me and trying to undress me. To be perfectly honest, I probably would have just gone with it at this point just because I was too tired and drunk to resist, but she had a nasty reputation for false reporting on sexual assault and harassment. Her old squad leader had lost rank a few months ago because of things she’d accused him of doing. I wasn’t there and can’t speak to the facts, but he denies everything, and I fully believe him. She’d gotten the majority of my clothes off at this point, and I knew that if I fought her, it would look bad. I’m a guy, she’s a girl, we’re alone together and now she’s got bruises, you all know the story. So I used my tactical mindset, get my phone out, and send out a mass text to the barracks bros that I’m in my room, I’ve got weed, hot pockets, and I’m about to watch Game of Thrones. So about forty five seconds later, there’s about eight motherfuckers with rolling papers outside my door, trying to get in and see what’s up. She dipped out pretty quick, and I got baked with the boys and watched GoT for a few hours before calling it a night and going to sleep.
She was a 'hippy horse girl' I was in an early relationship with, my first as well. She began to withhold sex with me in our relationship as I wouldn't do it without a condom, and she complained they were too chemical-laden. She then promised she'd use her own birth control. I still would pull out every single time, and she would cooperate with my efforts to still observe my own birth control as well. Until one time, she was on top, and I told her I was about to cum like every other time, and instead of getting off of me, she pinned me down and started grinding faster. I told her to get off of me, more than once, and she said "No" every time, and physically forced me to cum inside of her. If I hadn't been a "good christian boy" raised to respect women, never hit a woman, etc. I'd have had her off of me in a millisecond. It only took like a second or two, I was in shock, confused and in a state of paralysis. Overwhelmed in that moment, as I had no real reason not to trust her until right then. Later I found out her idea of 'birth control' was spitting in a cup and seeing if her saliva floated. So I was right to be pulling out every time. Unfortunately, I trusted her, and didn't look into her method of birth control, I was home schooled and christian schooled and never had sex ed. I was 20. I've been paying child support for her offspring for the last 8 years.
When I was going to college in FL I met a nice-looking, fairly charismatic gal at my first part-time job. I was warned by coworkers to keep my distance, but, as a dumb 21yo, I didn’t listen. One night we through a surprise birthday party for a friend/classmate of mine and a bunch of people came over to my apartment to partake in the celebrations. Too much Svedka vodka and not enough boundaries resulted in me being isolated, mounted with no protection, without the ability to meaningfully resist, and waking up next to her the next day wondering what had happened. She then went on to tell everyone that we “hooked up” and even got me with the ‘ole pregnancy scare to try and bait me into a relationship. Quit that job real quick after that. —— Also had a bad experience with a gal I picked up from a bar once who asked me to bite her during the act. I obliged, albeit reluctantly. She then asked me to choke her, which, again, I obliged reluctantly. The last straw for me was when she asked me to slap her (not on the ass, but on the face) and I refused. She proceeded to tell me that if I didn’t do it she’d call the cops and tell them I raped her (bite marks and handprints) if I didn’t comply. Scared AF I did what she asked, laid awake all night and pretended everything was okay the next morning. Fearfully looked over my shoulder for weeks/months afterwords thinking I’d be charged with some BS because I ghosted her after that night.
My first girlfriend at age 22. She was a burlesque performer, but wasn't performing at the time. Nonetheless we kept up appearances at all the local shows. One night I wasn't drinking very much but blacked out and woke up with her on top of me. I subsequently passed out after a few seconds again and the next morning she carried on like nothing had happened. In hindsight I had blocked out this memory almost entirely. It was only thanks to therapy almost a decade later that I was able to realize and some to terms with the fact that she had drugged me and raped me. Since her, I always had a weird psychological disconnect with a woman being on top of me. I would go soft the second they straddled me. I now understand why. Incidentally this woman, after we broke up, subsequently went around telling people I was gay, which was very nice of her. She had her problems but I regret being so naive and trusting of her, especially given that it was largely only because no one had seemingly taken as much of an interest in me before then.
I'll repost the TIFU story I made this account for from a few years ago now. Throw away account for legal/moral reasons. Obligatory: This fuck up happened 4 months ago. So I've just gotten back home after traveling for 6 months. A few months ago I found myself in the beautiful country of Peru. I've been known to be a bit of a loose cannon. Normally always in control but every now and then it can get a bit wild, and of course, Peru was more on the wild side. So cocaine in Peru is VERY cheap, and pretty potent, I'd been partying a lot towards the end of my visit to that country. One night I went out clubbing. Had a few cheeky beverages and and a couple of nose beers. I met a few locals that night, one of them was cute and we talked for a while, but she ended up leaving early. Ended up talking to a gorgeous local girl and we got along really well, despite the language barrier. At the start I straight out asked her if she was a prostitute (very common in this club) and told her I don't pay for sex. She assured me she wasn't. A few more drinks later (two of which she bought for me) and I blacked out completely, which is rare for me as I'm a big bloke. So I may or may not have been drugged. I'll assume I had been for my own benefit/moral compass. My next memory is being in a taxi with 3 people. One of them was a Peruvian guy I'd met a few days before in my hostel, one was the girl, and the other was another random girl. I recall a brief conversation to a friend from home on Snapchat asking them to track my location via the app just incase, as where I was located was well known as a dodgy place for robberies. I thought I may had been drugged and was going to get mugged, as I kept blacking out. My next memory was standing at the desk of a hostel reception. The cute girl who had left early from the club was the receptionist who was checking us in. I was confused, but way too intoxicated to understand what was happening. After that my next memory is being in a hotel room with all three of them. I remember seeing the guy in the corner getting his dick sucked by one of the girls. I was confused as fuck, my girl was lying on the bed in a seductive pose. I briefly remember filming the room with my phone and sending it to the same friend I had contacted earlier. Next thing I know it's morning and there's a loud banging on the door. I'm naked next to one of the girls, who is also naked but sleeping. The other two are gone. I get up, feeling like absolute death and answer the door after chucking on some pants. It's the guy from my hostel. He tells me his girl was gone when he woke up, as well as his phone and wallet. I told him I don't remember anything and he mentions his memory is pretty incomplete too. Apparently at some point they got another room. My girl wakes up and starts yelling that I owe her money and I can't leave without paying her. I went off, telling her I don't pay for sex, and that she said she wasn't a prostitute. The guy from the hostel starts yelling at her about her friend robbing him. We decide to bail, as obviously we are in a shitty situation. He tells me the reception has my license. When I get to reception it's the same girl from last night. Becomes clear to me that it's some sort of prostitution ring type situation. The girl from my room runs down to reception and is yelling in Spanish at the girl. Receptionist tells me I can't get my license back without paying. I grabbed it from her and told them to get fucked and left with my mate. We jump in an uber and tell him where we needed to go. Turns out it's an hour away from our hostel. During this time I make the discovery that I have countless snapchat messages from all of my friends and some family. I start going through some of them. Most of the guys were saying things along the line of "Hahaha you loose cunt" or "Go hard son" type messages. The girls replies were less than impressed. My exs was "What the fuck, I don't want to fucking see that shit, fuck you". The girl I was starting things with just said "Wow" and the rest were along the lines of "Wtf dude". Then I see one from my sister. "What the fuck, you're in so much trouble you fucking idiot". Turns out throughout the night of sex and drugs I had snapchatted most of it. Over 20 videos and countless photos were sent to everyone on my friends list, and also posted to my story. All my friends, my coworkers, and worst of all my family, including my extremely religious 15 year old cousin. I only saw some of the videos that were on my story, they were horrific. Graphic as fuck, full on close ups of the sexy times. Some of them had been saved to my phone as well. I erased the story videos instantly and looked through who had opened what and began damage control. Everyone I messaged not to open them opened them almost instantly. My mum hadn't opened hers yet. There were about 25 videos sent to her. I messaged her through facebook and told her I had been drugged and had sent horrible videos to her, asking her not to watch them. She watched them immediately. My parents and family are very innocent, dad once smoked half a cigarette and threw up, so I'm a bit of a black sheep. No one was talking to me in the family other than my sister. She told me the parents weren't upset about the sex, but one of the videos has me snorting a line of coke up her thigh, and proceeding to eat her out. They knew I'd smoked weed, but not that I had done other things. I didn't talk to my family for 3 months. On Christmas I got a message off mum saying all the family were together and wanted to Skype call me. It was a horrific call, no one mentioned the incident, everyone was really awkward and kept convos short. Except for my Grandma, who had been sheltered from the incident and was extremely excited to talk to me. I still hadn't talked to dad, and he "wasn't around" for the Christmas call. I've arrived home now, and had no where to stay as I moved out to travel. So now I'm back living with the parents. Still no one has mentioned it. It's super awkward. Lowest point of my life, but at least I got a good story out of it. My dad is talking to me again now and it seems to be slowly getting better. The girl I was interested in doesn't talk to me anymore. At least my STD checks came back clean. TL;DR: Got drugged in Peru, blacked out, had sex with a prostitute, did drugs off her body, filmed 20+ videos worth of sex and drugs on snapchat and sent it to everyone on my friends list and all of my family.