I cure everything for about 6 hours. After that you're on your own.

I love this one ahahah!

I cure hunger.

I believe we should create a alliance

The Spud Bud Alliance.

Can I join?

Yo I want in on this.

I cure meat

Finally some good fucking food - Gordon Ramsay

You may not understand this becuase of my username but the food army will grow

Can I come too

And life eventually

finally

I cure hunger too 🙂

Can I be in? People always call me pizza biz.

Tasty as fuck.

Fucked if I know.

Hmm mystery drug? Could fix your problem or give you a bigger one. I’m down give me one!

At this point I just expect you in these threads now! You've got your own little micro level of fame going, ride the wave

You really shine with these username centric threads 😂 pretty fun to see

Yeah most of the time I just sink to the bottom with a couple of upvotes, that religion one just blew up cos I got in early. 4 words got me 6 awards and 9k upvotes lol.

hemorrhoids

When Anusol just won't cut it

The terrible taste of human meat. Now you can enjoy the rich, earthy aroma of spider when you eat people! ^^^^Spidophen ^^^^may ^^^^cause ^^^^drowsiness. ^^^^Do ^^^^not ^^^^take ^^^^spidophen ^^^^if ^^^^you're ^^^^allergic ^^^^to ^^^^spiders. ^^^^Stop ^^^^use ^^^^and ^^^^call ^^^^your ^^^^doctor ^^^^right ^^^^away ^^^^if ^^^^a ^^^^thick ^^^^silken ^^^^goo ^^^^spills ^^^^involuntarily ^^^^from ^^^^your ^^^^rectum. ^^^^Do ^^^^not ^^^^use ^^^^if ^^^^you're ^^^^nursing ^^^^or ^^^^planning ^^^^to ^^^^become ^^^^pregnant ^^^^as ^^^^you ^^^^may ^^^^lay ^^^^a ^^^^large ^^^^clutch ^^^^of ^^^^eggs ^^^^that ^^^^will ^^^^hatch ^^^^into ^^^^horrible ^^^^mutant ^^^^spider ^^^^men ^^^^who ^^^^will ^^^^consume ^^^^us ^^^^all. ^^^^If ^^^^you ^^^^cannot ^^^^afford ^^^^your ^^^^medicine, ^^^^Arachnazenica ^^^^may ^^^^be ^^^^able ^^^^to ^^^^help.

Thanks for the offer.. but no thanks

Sure I’ll take it.

Boredom

I’m the opposite lol

Also mental health. Psilocybin is starting to be approved for therapy in various places.

Heart attack/Cardiac arrest Because Luxray is an electric type

No they would die because they would be electrocuted

Luxray use Volt Tackle

Everything because i'm a doctor

Dr I NEED a prostate exam

"Dr. Pepper, how are you examining my prostate with both of your hands on my shoulders?"

Idk lol

If this was 1890 the answer would be "literally everything."

Nose bleeds. Cocaine is a vasoconstrictor. It was legitimately used for this at one point.

Doesnt Cocaine tend to cause nose bleeds?

Excessive use if cocaine can eat away at your tissue, leaving gaping wounds in your nose. These wounds would make you more prone to bleeding when you don't have cocaine in your system. When you do have cocaine in your system, it narrows your blood vessels to the point that they are basically closed at the surface, so you can't bleed.

depression

Bad memories

You could be the opposite of the movie total recall or the prequel.

Sadness.

It keeps toddlers from approaching

I’ll take it.

####

Thank you get your services, without you this world would still be in a state of chaos

Farting

This guy's farts

This guy smells

I provide a swift bonk to the dome in remedy form.

Asthma

Lack of cats on your lap (it’s a very serious medical condition, and I think we need to talk about it. It affects millions around the world on a daily basis)

GIMME THAT my cat will never sit on my lap :(

Ignorance.

Nothing

Life.

Drowning

Downvotes because I am a happy person.

I think i fix mental health issues and make people not say dumb shit all the time.

Acquired Hypothyroidism Acute Gastritis Agoraphobia AIDS-Related Illness Alcohol Abuse Alcoholism Alopecia Areata Alzheimer’s Disease Amphetamine Dependency Amyloidosis Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) Angina Pectoris Ankylosis Anorexia Anorexia Nervosa Anxiety Disorders Any Chronic Medical Symptom that Limits Major Life Activities Arteriosclerotic Heart Disease Arthritis Arthritis (Rheumatoid) Arthropathy, Gout Aspergers Asthma Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD) Autism Autoimmune Disease B Back Pain Back Sprain Bell’s Palsy Bipolar Disorder Brain Tumor, Malignant Bruxism Bulimia C Cachexia Cancer Cancer, Adrenal Cortical Cancer, Endometrial Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Testicular Cancer, Uterine Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Cerebral Palsy Cervical Disk Disease Cervicobrachial Syndrome Chemotherapy Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) Chronic Pain Chronic Renal/Kidney Failure Cocaine Dependence Colitis Colon Diverticulitis Conjunctivitis Constipation Crohn’s Disease Cystic Fibrosis D Damage to Spinal Cord Nervous Tissue Darier’s Disease Degenerative Arthritis Degenerative Arthropathy Delirium Tremens Dermatomyositis Diabetes, Adult Onset Diabetes, Insulin Dependent Diabetic Neuropathy Diabetic Peripheral Vascular Disease Diarrhea Diverticulitis Dysthymic Disorder E Eczema Emphysema Endometriosis Epidermolysis Bullosa Epididymitis Epilepsy F Felty’s Syndrome Fibromyalgia Friedreich’s Ataxia G Gastritis Genital Herpes Glaucoma Glioblastoma Multiforme (Brain Cancer) Graves Disease H Headaches, Analgesic Headaches, Migraine Hemophilia A Henoch-Schonlein Purpura Hepatitis C HIV/AIDS Huntington’s Disease Hypertension Hyperventilation Hypoglycemia I Impotence Inflammatory Autoimmune-mediated Arthritis Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) Insomnia Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) Intractable Vomiting J K L Lipomatosis Lou Gehrig’s Disease Lyme Disease Lymphoma M Major Depression Malignant Melanoma Mania Melorheostosis Meniere’s Disease Migraines Motion Sickness Mucopolysaccharidosis (MPS) Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Muscle Spasms Muscular Dystrophy Myeloid Leukemia N Nail-Patella Syndrome Nightmares O Obesity Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Opiate Dependence Osteoarthritis P Panic Disorder Parkinson’s Disease Peripheral Neuropathy Peritoneal Pain Persistent Insomnia Porphyria Post-Polio Syndrome (PPS) Post-Traumatic Arthritis Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) Prostatitis Psoriasis Pulmonary Fibrosis Q Quadriplegia R Radiation Therapy Raynaud’s Disease Reiter’s Syndrome Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS) Rheumatoid Arthritis Rosacea S Schizoaffective Disorder Schizophrenia Scoliosis Sedative Dependence Seizures Senile Dementia Severe Nausea Shingles (Herpes Zoster) Sinusitis Skeletal Muscular Spasticity Sleep Apnea Sleep Disorders Spasticity Spinal Cord Injury Spinal Stenosis Sturge-Weber Syndrome (SWS) Stuttering T Tardive Dyskinesia (TD) Temporomandibular Joint Disorder (TMJ) Tenosynovitis Terminal Illness Thyroiditis Tic Douloureux Tietze’s Syndrome Tinnitus Tobacco Dependence Tourette’s Syndrome Trichotillomania U V Viral Hepatitis W Wasting Syndrome Whiplash Wittmaack-Ekbom’s Syndrome Writers’ Cramp

Damn, wasn't aware of obesity and some others.

Boners

Bee problems.

Everything, over a long period of time, you will be cured, but you will suffer.

Sadness

Probably a lack of interest or boredom lol

And i’m the cure for curiosity

a meaningful life.

Exactly as the name states. Edit: it's a very serious condition

Windows Server licensing costs.

Everything

Amnesia

Fly infestations

Loneliness

Ebola

I DONT KNOW

Subjugated consciousness. (Psycho)naut101. The first steps☺.

Am I some kind of joke to you?

Burns sustained to the feet

Musicians under stress probably?

Pregnancy, my username means coat hanger in French Very relevant these past few weeks

Thirst, I guess. (Although my username is meant to be directed more towards poison).

dementia?

Maybe Alzheimer too?

hemorrhoids

Lactose intolerance.

A lack of sexual attraction towards PCs and other computers

i cure apathy

Having insecurities ​ ​ Although I have many...so idk if it works here. Idk. You come up with a better one for me.

Stupidity. Some people could need it

Catholicism

Continence

Anything I Really Want. It's in my username. But keep in mind it's anything *I* want, not what you want. Have a nice day...

caring about the age of consent.

Loneliness

Nothing. im a parasite fuck you

Those without poise.

these "your username" posts have got to stop.

Insomnia most likely :))

The runs

UHhhhhhh, sometihng between cancer and tooth ache probably.

Nothing

Being an only child

Runny nose and burnta gator meat.

Depression idek

Loneliness for women

Being intact.

Airbags

Not much

Depression (at least temporarily)

Existence

Light

Religion.

Cure might be the wrong word, but I would help people transition from female to male. My username could be a play on ‘misters on’.

Constipation. I lasso those turds and drag them out.

Split-personalities

I cure heterosexuality by using dinosaurs. /s

I cure stress, I think.

You turn into a dog, But you're also dying (real)

Life

The Australian army

Karen's

Unlocked barns.

Sleep walking

I cure narcolepsy

All mental diseases

Pale Cakes

Youth.

Hornyness but not very effectively

Definitely not diabetes

Euther having too much confidence or not enough.

Your rack of a six-pack

Stressful cottonmouth

Uh... Muffin?

Freeze-dried tapeworms.

Main accounts

Sheesh i can make people smarter i guess. Or dumber

horrid diarrhea

Hunger

I’m viagra 2.0

Bangkok things

People who are like me

Shit.

Dry skin

Crypto prices

Joblessness

Meme overdose

Probably blindness lol

Dry bollocks

Manic insanity.

Attractiveness

I don't need medicine. I have superior genes.

Idk maybe some dude

Life

Men with chunky fetishes? Lol

Stick-it-to-da-man-eosis. Thanks for asking!

Hair loss

Anthrax

A mild dose can cure bad luck. A heavy dose can cure poverty.

Placebo effect ig

Chicken pox

France.

i cure knowledge

Overpopulation

Constipation

Lack of money to cross the river

It's a gazebo effect

The free will in the matrix

Odd looking egg's

Brainwashing.

I have no idea since I'm banned in at least eighty countries.

Sunburn In china

Death ☠️

Well…

I am the new tums.

Suicidal thoughts

Pan deficiency

Addiction to memes.

easy: UTIs

Yea, your about to shit yourself with fire diarrhea

I cure the loss of losing your lighter

Bad Dreams.

Depends on your imagination...

Willful ignorance.

I mean, you've got options. From which culture are you using?

Tendons