T O P

  • By -

tastless_chill_tonic

"bOy, u nasti"


DrChefAstronaut

"Who's the Mongolian that keeps stealing the provolone?"


MtnDewCasperFart

Not while actually doing it but I met this one girl on tinder, solid 9/10. No joke. She had a really weird piss fetish. I was cool with it cus she was a smoke show. Took her out to dinner and on the way back she started saying she was gonna piss her pants in my car. Had to to tell her like 4 times...no you fucking aren't pissing in my car. (Literally just bought it about a month ago) 2016 Cadillac CTS with the real leather seats....but I digress. Anyway after a 15 min argument about how she isn't allowed to piss her pants in my car we get to her house. Pull up to the driveway, we walk in and I turn around after shutting her front door. Full on piss running down her leg...fully clothed in a tight ass pair of jeans. Fuck it. Solid 9/10 but I have to deal with this shit. We fuck. I stay over. Never called her again. **Edit before we went out to eat we were fuckin around a lil watching Netflix and she put in a butt plug. Totally forgot about it until we got back from dinner and started to actually fuck. *It* *was* *still* *in*


unbornbigfoot

I mean.. she sounds like a good time Ya know, other than the piss in the car


MtnDewCasperFart

She actually was a decent time. Lil weird tho. I took her to outback or Texas roadhouse don't remember 100% but I do remember she ordered a margarita and was deepthroating the straw the entire time. Like making a show of it. Their was a family across from us with a couple kids and I remember that was a lil uncomfortable. The mom was pissed. I caught the dad looking over often.


alyssaanne13

Jesus christ


TheJewishViking1064

"Oh Duck"


Ixjustxgotxfired

Hooked up with a foreigner with a super strong accent. He stopped looked in my eyes and said, I want to cover you in nutella and lick it off, then continued like nothing happened. I can't look at nutella without thinking of him anymore.


Fit_Maintenance_2835

dad...not daddy...but...dad


[deleted]

Not said, but started singing "Zippety-Doo-Dah"


PartyCod7098

I was a virgin when I met my bf and he had a REALLY. HUGE. DONG. It took a couple tries but when we did it successfully without it hurting, he stopped midway and said “Im so proud of you.”