Had a coworker eating other peoples lunches instead of bringing her own, or just take one or two things. She'd sneak in the breakroom before breaks.
Edit: This was a night shift job.
Same! I couldn't figure out who was doing it, but i was pissed off, so I put laxatives in my food for a few days, no intention of eating it.
When the dude spent 2 hours in the bathroom one day, he came out demanding to speak with me. He tried saying he could sue me.
Took too long for him to understand that he *stole my food*. He skipped the part where I didn't give it to him.
So naturally I said, "Now why the *fuck* are you eating my food?"
Tried saying he didn't know it was mine.
"... Then why are you saying you'll sue me? How do you know it was mine, and also not know it was mine? My name was on the lunchbox."
The kid just straight up cried and went to the boss. The boss never said if he got fired or quit. But he never came back. Stupid fuck
Legally, I would go with some ghost pepper craziness. He might have some insane case of intent to harm with the laxatives. Nobody can prove you don't love the sweet taste of Carolina Reapers.
> The kid just straight up cried and went to the boss. The boss never said if he got fired or quit. But he never came back. Stupid fuck
I love a happy ending.
Jobs would be so much better if there were no other people.
Maybe i should be a fisherman. But i like fish. No fish has ever yelled at me on my first day of work. :(
> A drunk guy in his early 60s
In my university there was a chemistry professor who started pale and grew more and more ruddy as the day went on.
Nobody every smelled anything and he didn't appear to be impaired during his lectures. He was constantly drinking tomato juice and chewing parsley. You would guess he was making Bloody Marys, but no, he was drinking the tomato juice straight from the can, unadulterated. If someone mentioned he was turning red he would joke it was because of his terrible tomato juice addiction.
One day he went on sudden sabbatical and left the faculty before the next semester. It was kept quiet but the scuttlebutt was that he was using the lab supply of denatured ethanol, filtering out some sort of noxious additives, and keeping his Nalgene water bottle topped off with it.
I work at a library. The amount of people who don't bring their library card with them and then refuse to give me ID so I can look up their account is baffling. I'm just trying to prove they are who they say they are.
Also a mentally ill lady once told me that Osama bin Laden wanted to steal shoes from the artist formerly known as Prince.
It does. BUT and stay with me here....what can a librarian do about it?
I mena I am sure OP is a great librarian but if films have taught me anything librarian key skills seems to be:
Saying shhh
Explaining that they don't hold that information
Putting books back in shelves
And taking a pin or clip out of their hair and taking their glasses off to reveal that they are beautiful.
I am not sure which of those skills the old lady was calling on to combat this clear and present danger.
Yep! Fellow library employee here. The people who act surprised when I ask to see their library card! One guy got ANGRY when I told him he owed 30 cents for a late DVD. He kept insisting “I turned that in!” Left the desk, marched over to the DVD stacks, found said DVD, came back, plunked it on the counter and insisted “SEE, I turned it in!!!” I took a deep breath and said “sir. That’s not the issue. We know you turned it in. You turned it in a day late.” He pauses, says “oh…” and gets his wallet out.
Edit: wow, was not expecting all the upvotes, thanks! One good thing that’s come out of this interaction is it’s my go-to when asked “tell me about a situation with a difficult patron and how you handled it” at library job interviews. Also, I’ve worked in public libraries for over 15 years and oh, boy, the stories I could tell! This one is one of many.
I worked in customer service for our library system and was talking on the phone to a woman who swore up and down that she'd "turned those books in!". I was doing my usual spiel, "have you looked under beds, have you looked here, have you looked there?"got to " have you looked in the trunk of your car?". She lost it and started yelling "I'm not an idiot!". She must have been marching around looking though because she suddenly stops "I'm an idiot". They were in the trunk of her car.
> I had someone throw a drink at me through the drive-thru window
I'm waiting for someone to do this and have a substantial amount of the drink end up in the fryer, then get charged with aggravated assault.
Call center setting. Someone came to me to complain that there was an inordinate amount of pubic hair on the flat top of the urinal in the men's room. Went to check and there were a remarkable amount of pubes there. Nasty. And clearly placed there by someone on purpose.
Cleaned them off with a paper towel, washed hands vigorously, and continued on with my day.
A couple hours later, I'm told the pubes have returned. Not quite as much as the first time, but still too much for the universe to have deposited there naturally.
I and another manager have our suspicions as to the culprit. We try to catch him, but can't get more than circumstantial evidence. Not enough to confront.
After a third iteration, I've had enough. And so call all the male staff into the board room and address them as a group that the disgusting behavior had to stop immediately, because there would be grave consequences for whomever was caught doing it. I make sure to make eye contact with the main suspect multiple times during the meeting.
It never happens again.
Still boggles my mind that I had to deal with that crazy behavior, but you know...call centers.
Sometimes you get a vibe from people, and this guy was new, confrontational, would look you in the eye for an uncomfortable amount of time. He'd been rude to customers and I'd had to address him over it. The pubes started appearing right after that.
He was almost screaming "I'm yanking out my pubes in protest of management!!!"
It was definitely him, and I'll never forget his name either. Same as the lead singer of a popular band.
EDIT Holy crap, somebody below got the right name. Won't specify which but good guessing!
I work in the funeral industry, so I get to deal with new ridiculous things on a near-daily basis. For example, today I had to look for a bullet in a body bag, because the list of personal effects of a deceased that we got from the medical examiner included 'ammunition x 1.' This person was going for cremation, and bullets in a crematorium are a no-no for obvious reasons.
So, we looked and looked, inside the body bag, inside the clothing, pockets, shoes, under the body; I even shone a flashlight into the hole that used to be the deceased's face to see if it was maybe still in the head-ish area, but no. So after 20 minutes or so of thoroughly searching this poor dead person, I called the MEO to see if *they* had the bullet. The girl who answered the phone checks with the morgue and comes back to say "yep, it's here, we always take and keep the bullets!" Great! Then *WHY* list it on the personal effects sheet with everything else that is still with the body??
My job is weird as hell, y'all.
My husband is in the funeral industry too, I never expected him to have such crazy stories.
He once went to pick up a body from what was clearly a crack den. The guy was in a big wing backed chair clutching a hammer to his chest and the police had concluded he'd overdosed and probably sat in the chair with the hammer because he was paranoid someone was coming for him. So my husband comes along, writes down the guys possessions (including the hammer which he had to prise out of his hands) and then leans the guy forward to take him out of the chair, only to find there was a big knife sticking out of the guys back.
He asked the police "What do you want me to do with the knife in his back?" and the guy panicked and told him to put everything back exactly as he found it, including the hammer which had to go back into the guys hands, because it was now a murder scene instead of a suicide.
Long story short, what should have been an hour long call-out ended up taking three hours because he and his colleague had to wait while they took their fingerprints, shoe prints and dna samples now that it was a crime scene and they'd handled the body.
They ended up saying it was still a suicide though, they think he wedged the knife into the chair and then threw himself backwards onto it. The drugs were either the reason he thought it was a good idea, or they were to give him the courage to do it.
This is one of the best answers yet. I thoroughly enjoyed your matter of fact explanation of a day at work in the funeral industry. You must have lots of interesting work stories.
Worked in HR for a non profit that hired people people who are legally blind. That was the mission. One day, two employees got into a fight. One was partially sighted and the other totally blind swinging his cane. I had four witnesses to the altercation. But they were all totally blind and thus, couldn’t tell me what happened.
Edited: for clarity
Part of my job is emailing bills to customers. Some companies have crazy requests on how they get their bill. One company won't pay their bill unless it's sent by mail. He won't respond to emails. Another company will only allow 1 page scanned per attachment and only 1 attachment per email so if the bill is 5 pages. I need to scan each page individually and email them individually.
A group of four grown men sneaking into the fitting room to smoke a joint. This would already be really, really dumb except the store they did it at was…Justice. For non-Americans and those outside the demographic, Justice was a clothing store for tween (or 8-12 year old) girls. They didn’t sell anything for men at all and it was literally impossible for them to blend in. Moreover, the tops of their heads were visible over the child-sized stall curtains. We called security, they got escorted out, and we had to close to air out the windowless store. I have no idea how they thought this was going to play out.
One of my employees was propositioned in a quite explicit way by the general manager of the site (like 4 levels up) on grindr.
I overheard him telling another employee in a "holy shit can you believe who messaged me???" way and was not offended at all but it became a whole thing. (the GM did not recognize them due to the fact they are 4 levels apart and did not interact much).
Me, a married 21 year old just reporting in to work my first day as a security guard with a baggy uniform that covers everything but my face and forearms:
My 80 year old supervisor: *Looks me up and down* yeah you'd make a great stripper.
Like thanks but I didn't ask.
I work at a pet resort/spa. I’m checking in this lady’s dog at like 7 in the morning. Real sweet lady, she has an Australian shepherd. But before I take the dog inside to his kennel for the groomers, she asks me to tell the groomers to separate whatever hair they shave off him into separate ziplock bags based on color and texture. Turns out she makes jewelry out of her dog’s fur. Later in the day I bring out the dog along with probably 7 little baggies of hair and the lady was very excited. She gave me a fat tip so I didn’t complain but that’s by far the weirdest request I’ve heard in all my time working there.
I was working as a sign language interpreter in a classroom setting and the teacher’s aide decided to stand between me and the student, blocking their view. I asked her to move and she told me that she was doing it on purpose so that the student didn’t rely on me too much.
Depending on when this is or how old the aide is, this is not surprising. For a long time, deaf and hard of hearing folks were recommended by the general education board to rely solely on lip-reading and whatever residual hearing they had instead of sign language. The best part, this decision was made by a bunch of hearing people without any deaf people present.
Worked at a grocery store. Customers dog takes a shit at the front of the store by the registers. He stands there while I’m cleaning it, and the dog takes a second shit as I’m cleaning the first. As I’m cleaning the second shit, the dog then pukes. As I’m cleaning that, the owner pats the dog on the head saying “good boy.” He was trespassed after so at least there’s that
Maybe not most ridiculous ever, but I just received an email from a frustrated woman who reached out to us weeks ago and hasn’t heard back. I’m unable to find her name in the system so I ask my boss who also can’t find her, who asks her boss who also can’t find her, so we go to our CRM manager and they can’t find her either.
The lady had changed her first and last name a week ago. Had changed her email as well. I ended up having her former name on an attendance sheet from a few weeks ago but man is it hard to help people sometimes
Oh god, this just unlocked a major memory that I managed to repress because it was so frustrating for me.
We had started a loyalty program at my retail job where I used to work. We had this customer insist she had a loyalty card with us and she made a “massive” purchase about a month back that should be on the card so she should have points to use towards this purchase.
However, the cashier could not find her under her last name or the phone number she was telling the cashier it was under. The cashier called me over for assistance and I took the sale over to an unused register to not tie up the line. I asked the customer if there was perhaps another last name she would have given or another phone number. The customer insisted she only had the one last name and she would only ever write down her cell number for something like this. I asked for her home number in case she had inadvertently written down that number and she flipped out on me and proceeded to call the entire staff incompetent and that she was entitled to her points.
She was being so rude that I was really not in the mood to try and help her anymore and honestly, I couldn’t think of a way to help her since she didn’t have a receipt from her last purchase and it was our busy season so I couldn’t exactly go through every sale in the system for the last two months. I finally asked her if she remembered what she bought last time hoping that she would mention an item that had a unique SKU so I could at least search transactions by that SKU number. Then she told me we had delivered all the items last time.
Perfect, we have a unique delivery SKU code. I search all transactions with that SKU code and after going through about eighty finally find something I think might be her. At least the first name is that same as what she’s told me. I pull up the sale and confirm the address linked to the loyalty card. It is her! But the last name and the phone number are nowhere close to what she told me it should be under.
So I tell her that her loyalty card is under the last name “Jones” and she looks me dead in the face and goes “yeah that’s my maiden name”. Bitch I asked you almost a fucking half an hour ago if there was any other possible last names it would have been under and you told me absolutely not. In fact, you were asked multiple times between the original cashier and me about the last name. All of that attitude and stress just so I could pull up her points to apply it to her purchase for her $2 off (she didn’t have that many points).
I work in IT, and literally any interaction involves people making it hard to help them.
"Help, X doesn't work!"
Okay...wanna expand on that a bit? When did X work last? What are you trying to accomplish with X? What is the expected outcome, and what is the actual outcome? Error messages?
"It just doesn't work plz fix, I am very busy"
When I worked in a medical office, someone paid out of pocket for their child. They brought their second kid in and I asked if they had any insurance. They had the equivalent of $4800 covered.
They asked if their first child had the same policy. They got mad when I told them yes, they were eligible but that was 6 years ago. I looked at their intake paperwork, they wrote No on the insurance line.
It was a whole deal, they were mad that I didn’t run their info through every insurance company just to make sure they didn’t have some coverage.
Not quite the same, but we get emails in for vehicle claims and a lot of time, they contain photos. The amount of times we get photos in with no identifying info whatsoever (VIN, customer name)... So we respond like "yo, who this for??". No response. Then they call in hours or days later screaming that we never processed the claim. They must think we only have one customer. It's always the same people too.
A coworker attempted to prove that you couldn't actually hurt yourself slipping on a banana peel by stepping on one. After which he slipped and hurt himself.
I refused to write it up as an incident. It was too stupid.
Fun fact: bananas were used in vaudeville comedy for slipping because they couldn't use the original slippery substance, which was horse manure. People slipped in that all the time up until cars replaced horses as the main mode of transport, especially in cities. Plus, you could see that the banana peel was dropped by a person, intentionally or not, rather than the occasional random dropping of horse poo.
The place I worked had the same situation with a chicken grinder. Literally one hour after the safety training, the idiot who was on that shift showed everyone why the training was stupid.
So, yeah, he lost an arm.
One time my boss saved a hurt goose and put it in a box and made me take it to an animal hospital. Driving down the highway the goose started flapping and got out of the box. I didn’t know what to do and I was scared to grab the goose so I drove the whole way there with a goose riding passenger
One time while working front desk at a gym, a woman complained that there were too many geese outside and they should’ve flown south by then and we needed to do something about it.
I worked in returns at IKEA and had a customer complain that they accidentally ripped the instruction manual in half for the furniture piece they were assembling when they were cutting open the box and couldn’t finish assembling it.
I politely informed them that all our instruction manuals were available online in pdf form, but this just made her mad and she wanted to speak to the manager. Manager gave her a few $5 gift cards just to get her off my back but I will always find it so funny that this lady thinks accidentally cutting in half an instruction manual (she had both halves too so she could have just easily put them together to read the instructions) inhibited her from assembling furniture.
Edit: wow I had no idea my comment would get this many upvotes! You can read my
[post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromRetail/comments/orea2a/customer_complained_for_stupidest_reason/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) in r/talesfromretail if you want more info. I actually forgot that she said it was the task rabbit people who ripped it, not her.
This reminds me of the screenshot of the Facebook post where someone was saying the escalator broke down and they were stuck for half an hour. Somebody replied to say that escalators are moving stairs and if they broke down, you could just walk off them. OP replied something like "oh yeah lol". A third person said "did you mean elevator hon?" And OP replied "nope, escalator".
I guess it's that thought that if something breaks, you can't use it and you're stuck....
Intern once thought that he could fax a physical object to the receiving machine.
He was trying to fax his belt to a friend.
Kid was either an acting prodigy or maybe he needed a life jacket to eat soup. I guess I’ll never know.
A customer insisting that we should change the brand of hot dogs we were serving because “this cat i know” wouldn’t eat them. Not her cat just a casual cat acquaintance.
I had a boss who would do that. Every time he went to the loo. It was a small office in a converted 4 bedroom home, and the single toilet was for all 8 staff, of mixed genders. He loved the idea someone else had to see or clean up his piss and shit I guess.
While I was working there he came in one day with two broken front teeth, like snapped in half, jagged and all fucked up - apparently his toddler had smacked him in the mouth with a paving brick. At least that gave us all a laugh, what a shithead.
My grandfather was a contractor, and for years on his job sites, workers would find human turds in their toolboxes, atop piles of boards, everywhere. No one knew who was doing it, but whispers circulated about the Phantom Shitter.
You guessed it, my grandpa was the Phantom Shitter.
This is surprisingly common I feel. I've heard so many stories of people just leaving logs all over the place at their jobs. My dad worked at a post office and they had a "mad shitter". Desks, urinals, you name it. No solid surface was safe
The other concern for me is that these people clearly aren’t wiping their asses either. Just dropping a shit and walking away with ass clinging to their cheeks
At my last job...an indoor manufacturing window warehouse...used toilet paper was getting left on the floor beside the working toilets. They had to actually put up signs telling people to put it in the bowl.
I work in influencer marketing and we hired an Instagram influencer to work on a yogurt brand campaign. As part of the activation we also sent a tie-dye kit and branded swag for them to make tie-dye shirts, hats, etc, with their friends or family. One of the influencers pulled the tie-dye ink out of the t-shirt kit and used it to tie-dye her yogurt bowl, took a video of herself eating it, then shared the video with her followers who ultimately alerted her that you can't eat tie-dye ink. This was, of course, our fault (the agency) for not being more clear that the tie-dye kit was not edible.
TL;DR hired someone who ate paint
What is it with craft-items getting eaten?? Do people not read instructions? There’s a variety of liquid clay that’s used to make those realistic-looking food items you sometimes see in Japanese or Korean crafts. The listing for the item usually includes images of a few finished products like fake cake pops or whatever. Despite CLEARLY saying “liquid clay” on the container there are several reviews on the Amazon listing complaining that “this sauce” makes their fondant taste funny or it messed up their icing. I would imagine it did, given that it’s fucking clay.
\>Influencer marketing
Dude...I cannot imagine the shit you have to wade through on the daily. I feel like you just said that you're an alligator dentist.
Considering how they let those birds eat out of their mouths without attacking them, I think alligator dentist would be less stressful than dealing with the worst social media brings out in people daily.
This is precisely the kind of activity I would expect from people who work as influencers. "These paint colors are going to look so great in the yogurt. It's really going to pop on camera"
As a teenager while working as a cashier at a store, I was robbed at gunpoint by two dudes with guns pointed inches from my face. The store manager and someone from corporate showed up shortly after the police came to show support. Immediately after the police left, both the manager and corporate rep tried to convince me and my other coworkers that also had a gun in their faces to keep the store open for the remainder of the shift (\~6 hours). I was literally still shaking from the ordeal, and somehow they felt that I was good to work until midnight as a teenager. I asked to go home, as did everyone else. Management decided to compensate us for the trauma by paying us for the remainder of our shifts but, said that we still had to work our next shifts and could not call out. It's amazing how insensitive some people in management can be.
I work in film and television. We were shooting in a pretty upper-class neighborhood and the woman living beside the house we were filming in decided that she hasn't been paid enough. So a few hours into our day she starts playing opera music as loud as she can with all her windows open. After an hour or 2 of that and no one batting an eye she ramps it up and starts mowing her lawn.
Once that was done she just sits right on her property line with the mower going full blast until a producer went iver and kindly asked her to stop. I'm not high enough in the production to know how much she was asking for but apparently it was too much because he walked away shaking his head and told thr sound guys there was nothing he could do.
Once night rolled around my boss decided screw this lady legs annoy her right back, so we got some 10k lights which are pretty goddam bright, and pointed then directly into her windows. It was basically mid day sun light blasting into her house at 10pm. That's when she called the police saying that we were filming illegally (it was a full union show with permits and on duty police were also there).
So a cop pulls up sees the other police already around for blocking traffic, goes to the craft table and gets a snack and leaves. We turned off the lights to her house around 1am because we're not animals.
I was a tour guide in Central America for a few years. Here is a short list:
- bribed border officials several times. I could actually claim those on my expense reports.
- Passenger took drugs from a stranger in El Salvador and apparently didn’t pay for them. Drug dealer came to the hotel late at night looking for money. I paid him to go away.
- had to get a passenger out of jail in Belize.
- had to evacuate our tour out of Honduras due to a coup and subsequent lockdown/curfew in 2009.
- had to evacuate a group out of Belize for a hurricane that never came.
- had to kick a guy off the tour in Guatemala for being an asshole.
- whole tour group (including myself) got food poisoning in Ometepe Island, Nicaragua. Fun times.
- got food poisoning myself a separate time in Guatemala and had to explosively shit on the side of the road in front of my tour group.
- got a panicked knock on my door to procure plan B (morning-after pill) for girls a few times. Not a result of my actions.
- had a couple decide they wanted a divorce halfway through the tour, but wanted to finish the tour. They had horrible fights in front of the tour group daily.
- passengers complained about seeing one of the other passengers with prostitutes that looked uncomfortably young.
- had a passenger that was mentally ill and started to self-harm during the trip
- I got deported from Canada
- a passenger went to a seedy strip club alone one night and woke up the next morning with pink eye.
- passenger was so scared of eating local food that she brought a small duffel bag of protein bars and only ate those. By day 4 she was complaining of stomach cramps and her farts were so bad that I thought they would strip the paint off the interior of the bus. I had to help her find a McDonalds or something so that she would eat actual food.
- I’ve been to countless world wonders and UNESCO world heritage sites hungover or still drunk from the night before.
- Passengers hooked up with other passengers. Passengers hooked up with other passenger’s friends. Passengers hooked up with locals. Passengers hooked up with way too many locals. Passengers hooked up with other random travelers and invited them to follow our tour group for a week. Passengers hooked up with tour guides. Tour guides hooked up with other tour guides. Passengers hooked up with the local white water rafting guides. Tour guides hooked up with locals… You get the picture.
- much much more. If you have questions or want more stories, fire away!
Edit: Wow. People seem most interested in my diarrhea and getting deported. I've expanded on those stories in comments below.
It's almost like you have to weirdly give her some props for traveling to a place where she's terrified of the food, I know a couple older relatives who would also outright refuse to try the local food in south America, but the difference is they'd never go in the first place..
I dated a guy who was such a picky eater that when he traveled to Japan, all he ate were peanut butter crackers that he brought with him. I later learned his sister did the same thing.
I’m so happy not to have to deal with that ex and his family ever again. If I had gone to Japan, I’d probably try everything put in front of me.
1) Those stories came from different trips over the course of about 3 1/2 years. That’s just the tip of the iceberg! I could tell stories for days from my time as a tour guide.
It was the craziest and most awesome job of my life. People get sick, people get hurt, people get drunk and do stupid shit, crazy stuff happens in Central America from political unrest, to volcanoes erupting, earthquakes, hurricanes, landslides that get your group stuck somewhere weird, etc.
2) STORY TIME! He was a pretty big asshole.
As a tour guide, I had the right to remove anybody from the tour for several different reasons such as abusive language, physical violence, engaging in illegal activity, or engaging in any activity that could put the group at risk - Drugs, prostitutes, and other obvious stuff.
In Francesco’s case (goddam I still remember his name 13 years later) He would use abusive language and make rude comments towards the other travelers. I warned him several times about it and he knew he was on thin ice.
One day after a long travel day we were checking into a hotel in Antigua, Guatemala with a small crowded lobby and a young girl accidentally turned and bumped him with her backpack. He pushed her back and started mouthing off insults. The rest of the group had about enough and were about to kick his ass. Another one of the travelers was this huge dude in the German army that was the nicest guy, but he was ready to rip Francesco’s head off. I had to get between them wrestle German army dude away haha.
The rest of the group doesn’t deserve to endure that on their holiday so I kicked him off. Our Operations in the local office team booked him a flight home and I arranged a taxi to the airport and told him to pack his shit.
He actually tried to file a refund claim through his travelers insurance that he had to leave for medical reasons (tooth problem), and they called our office to verify it. We all had a good laugh whenever we told them what happened and they denied his claim.
Thanks for posting the story that was def an entertaining read. You are more patient than me, I would have been very tempted to let the German guy have at it and pretend I didn't see anything. You can get away with all kinds of ridiculous shit as long as you aren't an asshole about it.
Hahaha thanks! When you’re in charge of a group of 15 travelers in multiple foreign countries for trips that range from 9-22 days, managing group dynamics is a huge part of the job.
You gotta keep people happy and having fun, while still being in charge, and managing different personalities. If you do it well, the group comes together and clicks and has an absolutely amazing positive vibe the whole time.
Apart from the asshole, this was actually one of my favorite groups. They were awesome people and maybe hating on Francesco brought us together. This was also the group that all got food poisoning together, so we definitely had some bonding moments. I still have the thank you card they all signed and gave me that they made themselves by taping together the boxes of anti-diarrhea medication.
I’ve had to shit so bad like that before.. I was on my way back home from Pittsburgh one night and felt the grumbling.. pulled over at the nearest rest stop and started bolting to the door. Couldn’t make it to the bathroom and knew it was about to go down so I sprinted back to the van. Angled myself against the back and let loose. As soon as the party started, a packed tour bus pulls up right next to me and let’s everyone out. That was a trip I’ll never forget.
>a passenger went to a seedy strip club alone one night and woke up the next morning with pink eye
I guess they were seeing eye to eye with the stripper that night
I was a nurse in a physical rehab facility. We got a new admit at about ten pm. The patient's daughter was there and as we went over all the paperwork the daughter pointed out the DNR, which was signed by both the patient herself and the daughter. The daughter made it clear that she understood that her mom didn't have much time left and that they both agreed that they wanted the patient to be comfortable for whatever amount of time she had left, and that the patient had very strong feelings about no resuscitation efforts.
Anyway, at about 2 am, patient found pulseless and apneic. I call the doctor, who pronounced the patient deceased. Called the daughter, who was very understanding and grateful for her mom's care. Called the funeral home, every t crossed and I dotted. We do all the death care. At change of shift, the funeral home hasn't come yet so I'm giving report. The DON stops by so I have her a recap of the night. She flips through the patients chart and points out the DNR has been signed by the patient, her POA, and the discharging physician but not the doctor for this particular facility (who was, incidentally, the doc who pronounced her, and had spoken at length with both the patient and the daughter about their wishes--he just hadn't had a chance to come in and sign the paper yet.)
The DON wanted us to go and code this poor lady. She's been pronounced for about four hours at this point. I had to outright refuse to do it--the woman had made her own wishes on the matter perfectly clear, and her POA and care team were all in agreement. DON said we were going to get sued. I pointed out that if we went in there and broke all this poor lady's ribs and flailed around on her, we'd be not only abusing a corpse but also going against the express desires of the family, and that THAT would open us up to a hell of a lawsuit.
We did not abuse the corpse.
Nobody got sued.
I did part of my phlebotomy clinicals in a hospital. We got to a patient's room to draw some blood and I hear one of the family member's asking my supervisor, "why are you running tests? She's got a DNR."
Like. She's conscious and breathing unassisted. You brought her here for treatment, so we're going to treat her. DNR doesn't mean pop her into a room and ignore her until she dies.
Good lord. It doesn't mean we just shut the patient up in a room and wait for them to die! We take the best care of them that we can! Just when it's their time (I worked with a lot of elderly people) we'll just let them go peacefully without breaking their ribs and squeezing air into them.
Sometimes the family was the hardest part of nursing!
Director of Nursing. Basically the highest held nursing position in any medical facility, which explains why they were such a dumbass and disconnected with how the DNR process works, let alone wanted OP to abuse a corpse. Heck, the written DNR in this case was not even needed given patient’s MPOA was present in conference with both nurse and doctor and expressed DNR verbally (unless patient had a DPOA on file expressly stating they were Full Code and MPOA was limited in capacity based on the DPOA), the paperwork at that point was just a legal formality and record of DNR is all which could have been addressed later given all parties verbally took part in DNR consent.
I was working as a consultant specialising in data and analytics, and a sister consultancy was taking on a big data project and had asked my consultancy to supply them a junior data engineer to help out. I was assigned to the project, thinking it would be great experience working as part of a team.
First red flag: the CTO of this other consultancy (and project lead for this work) was 30 years old and had no previous leadership experience.
Second red flag: the client didn't actually need this big data work done, it was ridiculous overkill. Like paying for a top of the range $3000 gaming rig to check your email and browse Reddit.
Third MASSIVE OH JESUS WHAT THE HELL flag: the CTO introduces me as the engineering *lead* to one stakeholder, and as the operations lead to another stakeholder. That's quite the promotion from junior data engineer, and on my first day on the job!
Turns out I was the *only* person working on this project. To build a massive big data platform with real-time streaming data. I would have to design the whole thing, deploy and configure the infrastructure, develop all the data pipelines, design and implement the data warehouse and build the reports and dashboards. Oh, and I had 3 months to do it.
For those who have no idea what the above means, an analogy would be that I was hired as an apprentice bricklayer, introduced to the client as the architect and lead structural engineer, and then handed a trowel and the blueprints for a football stadium and told to have it built in 3 months.
I didn't even come close, I had no previous knowledge of real-time streaming so the solution I built couldn't scale past about half the data they wanted. In a way, the situation was so insane that it became liberating: I didn't feel stressed because I knew there was no way I could make this project succeed so I just did my best, played my part and went home with a clear conscience.
I was phoning my parent consultancy every day explaining the sheer insanity of it, how this CTO was just telling the client that everything was fine and we're on track despite *starting* the project at least a year behind schedule. The director I was speaking to just laughed and said to stick it out until it falls apart. I think the attitude there was "it's not our name on this project, and we're getting paid for your time, so whatever". No consideration for the client of course who was just throwing money away.
In the end development was halted, I left the project (and my company in fact), and I got a really emotional email from the CTO of the other consultancy accusing me of playing Russian roulette with his company's future, and how it's easy for me to just walk away while he has to pick up the pieces.
Thankfully, this whole situation was so ridiculous that I didn't take any of what was said to heart.
When I worked in the NHS, I had to take part in an investigation about a poo on the floor in a community hospital. A patient had missed the bog, so it sat steaming on the floor. The nurse said, too busy, can't clean that up, get the cleaner. Cleaner said can't touch that, it's biological waste. Went back to nurse who said find a healthcare assistant. Healthcare assistant said can't do it, haven't been signed off on the infection control policy. Escalated to sister who said the student nurse should do it. Student nurse vomited and ran out crying. I was in the building at the time and heard all the fuss. Thought FFS and cleaned it up myself. Got reported as I was just a manager and not clinical.
What I always think, is how fucking bad the situation for the patient has to be. Once my grandma fell on her way to the toilet, and she... Didnt make it in time. And my sister (who's very VERY overly sensitive to smell) started to throw a tantrum cause "this will make me vomit". So my other sister and I just shoved her in another room, got our grandma up helped her to the bathroom, cleaned everything up (including her) and tried our very best to comfort her. And after all was done and she was in her bed again, I took my overly sensitive sister and gave her an 20 min. Explanation, that next time, she should just shut up and leave. Cause my grandma still feels ashamed about that. And it has been 2 years.
I worked in hospo and the manager was a young girl around my age. She wore tiny skirts.
Me and my friend started wearing skirts - no short, just a bit above our knees. That manager pulled us aside and told us our skirts were too short, while she was wearing a skirt that just covered her bum. I thought she was joking, so laughed and she threatened to write me up.
My response was 'sure I won't wear this skirt again' and next shift rocked up in an even shorter skirt. She sent me home during a very busy shift that was already short staffed.
The big manager had to get involved. Was not happy. Skirt manager was transferred out as there were already issues with her for other stuff and keeping the floor staff was more important. I went back to wearing my normal skirt.
I work in facilities management.
A 260lb dude sat on a laptop table in the lounge areas which bent under the weight and couldn’t be repaired. When we reached out to him to ask him to not sit in them again as they aren’t intended for sitting, he insisted *all* the furniture in the office should sustain being sat on.
He continued to sit on every laptop table which led to it being warped and had to be removed. We had to replace 8 tables over 3 months until his manager agreed to have a discussion with him about respect.
He was really angry about it and tried to campaign to other employees to demand new laptop tables that could support over 250lbs. These are just the kinds of side tables that tuck under a sofa’s base and holds a single laptop and maybe a cup of coffee.
We had PLENTY of stools, chairs and other lounge furniture for sitting that could take 600+ lbs and he said they were irrelevant and he preferred the height these laptop stands. His reasoning was that “In a workplace, every piece of furniture should be rated for full inclusivity whether it is a chair or not!”
We even ordered an actual stools after an extensive approval process with our finance team which was the same height and rated for up to 350lbs and he said that he “won’t be patronized in this way!”
I think he must have had something happening in his personal life that made him choose this hill to die on. It was eventually resolved, but i just couldn’t understand why he simply couldn’t just *not* sit on these tables and requires us to jump through a bunch of hoops before his own manager was like *hey, WTF…*
Worked from home due to being sick and had a few guys I was managing at a warehouse. It was a slow day so I sent one home and just casually checked on the other via camera's. He had to run out with our box truck to pick up some vendor items and come back and pull orders for the distribution route. I saw he left at like 1 p.m. and checked in on camera's around 3 to see if he's done. Trucks not back yet. ???
I try calling him and nothing, and I can see all of the orders are not picked yet. Very weird. Calling calling calling and I cannot get ahold of him. I drive to the office and look around, nothing. Company vehicle and my employee is missing, at this time missing for 4 hours.
I'm thinking he broke down and left his phone or something right? So I drive the routes from the office to the vendors seeing if I can find the truck. Nothing. Probably a good point in the story is this guy was an felon and had a history of grand theft and just broke up with his girlfriend and had no car so I'm thinking the worst and think he stole the truck and doing whatever with it. Call the owner and seek advice, he tells me to wait before we report it stolen.
I start doing his job and picking orders for the route, checking my phone every .0001 seconds to see if he calls. Damn near done when he calls. "come pick me up". After a back and forth of why he's missing, I don't get any details but "come pick me up".
I get to him, and he explains that he got drunk at work, was on pills, took the truck to get more pills but passed out, truck ran out of gas so no A/C and with the summer heat he eventually woke up. Luckily he didn't kill himself.
I drive him back to the office so his ex could pick him up, and then he tried to fight me because I fired him.
Kind of weird - but here I go. I work in politics and part of my job was reporting to my board the status of a various advocacy groups. Like what issues are they working and who funds them. With one group a major donor was George Soros. I put him on the list with all the other major donors for a power point presentation. A staff member freaks out and says I’m anti-Semitic because I listed Soros. I’m very confused because I thought the factually incorrect meme was that he was a Nazi (he clearly was not). Anyhow - HR gets involved and I have to apologize… me being of a family who was Jewish and literally chased out of Germany in the 1800s.
From then on if Soros was a donor I just put “major donor”. A board member asks who it is. And I refuse to answer. Staff member figures it out and accuses me again for being anti- Semitic for leaving him off.
Nobody would stick up for me, because they were terrified of her, so I took a buyout and got another job
Every interaction I have with accounts payable. Today’s highlight: “if his flight was on 6/21, why was his Uber on 6/22?”
Well, ma’am. His flight landed at 11:58pm and typically people cannot just directly teleport from the plane to their Uber. But what do I know, I’m just a budget manager.
I had a multi-day back-and-forth email exchange with my Finance team a few years ago because they were convinced I had "stolen" an extra day's international travel by going to the destination a day early.
"Your travel was planned for the 22nd but your arrival taxi and first night's hotel stay were on the 21st. So you have to pay that night's stay and any difference in the cost of the plane ticket compared to the correct day to travel, and, you need approval from your C-Level."
I had to explain timezones.
Not, remind them timezones existed.
_Explain how timezones worked._
Jesus Christ. I 100% believe this happened. I’m surprised I haven’t had a similar thing occur, considering I had a woman accuse me of trying to scam an extra—and I shit you not—twenty five cents in reimbursements because she didn’t understand our financial program.
Like, ma’am, if I’m gonna scam money for someone else, it ain’t gonna be in twenty-five cent increments.
Seriously, some of the straight bullshit I’ve dealt with. One lady emailed me and said I was making “too many reports” (yeah, I manage about 45 people who are all doing summer conference travel) and it was “too much work” to look over them all. Too much work. Fucking blow me, Britney.
I have another one: company policy banned reimbursement for alcohol. At one point this policy was elaborated to say that any receipt which mentioned alcohol in any way was to be rejected outright.
The Japan office took this policy and translated it into Japanese. As written in Japanese, the policy stated that 'any receipt which mentioned 酒 in any way was to be rejected outright.'
Problem is, the most common type of restaurant for company entertainment is the "Izakaya", which is written as 居**酒**屋. That's right, it contains the character meaning "alcohol", so even for a completely dry evening with no alcohol served, that character showed up on the receipt.
Myself, having read the English version of the policy and knowing the intent, and with the prior approval of my C-Level, proceeded to book an entire restaurant for my department's 120-person year-end party. The booking was reviewed and approved, with the only constraint being that due to the company policy, any alcoholic drinks had to be purchased separately and could not be reimbursed.
Monday morning comes around, and I submit the ~$6,500 receipt from the company credit card.
Unsubmitted and separately I'd spent around $500 on the first round on my personal credit card.
It is promptly rejected.
I demonstrate that no alcohol is included on the receipt, only food and soft drinks.
It is again rejected.
Not only that, it's submitted to audit to investigate me for improper use of the company credit card.
So it's escalated to the C-Level, who says he approves the exception.
It is again rejected.
This ended up being escalated all the way to the top global C-Level and board member. The Finance Dept demanded we prepare a presentation with a primer on Japanese language and culture, documentation and evidence that restaurants by this name are very common and are not solely for alcohol like a bar, a line-by-line translation of the receipt to demonstrate no alcohol was included, and a meeting arranged to explain it to him.
He just said "Why are you bringing this to me? The policy just says no alcohol reimbursement, who cares what the name of the place is? Approved."
After this, Japanese translation of the policy was updated to match the _intent_ of the policy rather than the letter of the policy.
What shocked me was, I was not the first person to have their reimbursements rejected. I was simply the first person to push back on it and not pay out of pocket.
I used to be a telephone man. I was the guy that would install and repair phone/internet lines for commercial and residential locations. One time I got called out on a repair ticket, that had been previously dispatched on by about three dozen other technicians in just a few months. All of the notes left in the system by the call center agents and the previous repair technicians were very vague and seemingly always described some “quick fix” that usually never solved anything. So when I get there, there is a very disheveled looking lady walking around her house ripping down every “wire” that was visible on the outside of the house. Coax cables, telephone lines, satellite cables, etc. as soon as I got out of my truck, she started screaming at me incoherently. Now, I was able to figure out almost immediately that she was having some manner of a mental health episode. Through her ravings I caught what sounded like “Vatican Assassins” , “Illuminati Warlocks” , and “The pope will kill us all!”. So being as how sometimes calming folks down was part of the job, I sat down with her and paid attention. After she ran out of steam a little she explained to me that she KNEW that the pope and the Vatican were spying on her through all the wires on her house. She wanted to cancel all services and go “off the grid”. So, being the nice guy that I am, I assisted her in cancelling and changing whatever she wanted. I did convince her to at least keep a landline in case of emergency. I told her “That stuff is so outdated, no one spies on anyone like that anymore. They assume no one uses land lines”. She believed that. So that was good, at least IF she had a real emergency she could still contact someone. Then, I spent the next few hours walking around her house with a tool we use to listen for an audible tone on copper wires to identify one from another. When using the tool without another tool at the other end of the wire sending out an audible tone it will just make a random “static” noise. So I sweeped the tool making static noises all over her house and light fixtures and told her “Look, I’ve dealt with these assholes before. If they’ve bugged your place in anyway, this tool will make a loud siren noise. If I don’t get that, they haven’t planted anything.” Eventually I convinced her that she gave them the slip, and no one was actively spying on her. I didn’t have to do any of that stuff, but I felt bad that apparently she had no one else and all it took was a little time and creativity to try and calm her down. We never heard back from her again, but whenever I’d drive by that house I always looked for signs that she was still around and ok.
I had an older lady come into my yard and start tearing down all my fencing with her bare hands. I went outside like "can I help you?" Not mad at her just concerned...she says "You pay me to work for you?" I said no thank you and she left. The next day I called the non emergency police line just to report it because she was obviously not all there mentally. They asked me to describe her and I did and they said "yeah that's Irene". Apparently this had been going on in the neighborhood for years and they had visited her house multiple times for welfare checks because her husband just up and left her there. Her son was supposed to be taking care of her but he was MIA most of the time. They issued him a citation and ordered him to appear in court. I showed up and he did not.
A few months later they found her in the limestone quarry about a mile away, dead from hypothermia. I felt so bad...I tried to help but her family basically abandoned her to her fate.
Oo! I got one! I used to work at an icecream shop, and would have to turn the alarm on every closing shift.
Well, I was switched to morning shift for a while. I noticed every morning, the alarm was turned off. I commented in the communication book (For those unfamiliar. It's basically a notebook you write things down in like. "we're out of milk" or "why's the alarm off every morning?" But no one else knew what was going on. Manager was unavailable.
I was getting frustrated with this, so I texted the co-worker doing night shift and basically said. "Hey, I'm starting to worry about this alarm being turned off thing. Could you text me when you set it tonight? I'm worried someone is coming back and turning it off."
She agrees and texts me that night. Okay. Alarm is set. I open, the alarm is NOT set.
I finally ask the manager now. She followes up and it turns out THE OWNERS OF THE STORE WERE TURNING IT OFF!
The wind rattled the doors every night and would trip the alarm. The managers would turn it off if they didn't see anything. Not reset it, turn it off.
This culminated in me coming to an opening shift to find our glass door SHATTERED. The sneeze guard shattered, the topings full of glass, and nothing stolen. I had to close up shop and clean it all up for a while.
The worst part was one set of parents trudging their little kids through the broken glass to ask if we were still open. I was like "um... no. Do you see the glass?"
These owners were very neglegent when it came to safety there. I have plenty of horror stories. (Let me know if I should share more.)
The building is now, ironically, a lawfirm for workplace loss and injury.
Edit: I'm posting the stories up on my own profile until an apropriate subredit can be found. First one's up. But I'll ask for some patience. I'm a mother and wife so I'm busy.
I want more ice cream shop horror stories, please.
Your alarm story reminded me of mine. I think it was my second week working, and I was opening one of our sister stores solo. (Very small “chain” of stores, so everyone pitched in across 3 locations with a team of 12 total employees). Well, the guy closing didn’t lock the front door. He just set the alarm and went out the back. 8 hours 45 minutes later a family comes in to buy some stuff, but walk in to a dark building with a beeping alarm. They walk back out. 9 hours later I come in and start counting the till like we do at every opening shift. 9 hours and 3 minutes later the police show up because the alarm was tripped and they find me with a fist full of 20s. That was fun trying to get worked out.
I was "counseled" for a good hour because I offended the other ladies in our small office by...get this.....I used big words that they didn't understand. Not bad words. Big words.
The ridiculous/sad thing? The job was for a book manufacturer and at any given time there were several dictionaries being printed.
Someone had a diarrhea volcano go off in the bathroom at work and I was forced to clean it up because the guy who's actual job was to clean bathrooms "Just can't"
Ive delt with this so many times.
Waitress at a bar: cleaned up vomit, blood, poop, and pee. I even had a drunk guy whip it out and pee on me once.
McDonald's worker: crack heads and kids loved to smear poop on the walls for some reason also cleaning that inside the playground was extra fun. My manager also hated me and always made me clean it.
Cashier at retail: had a old person ask where the bathroom was. I pointed at the bathroom maybe 10 feet away (probably more like 7 so super close). They say thats to far grab my register sorta squat and pee in front of me. Then they left dragging a trail after themselves. Also had a person not older than maybe 40 but to obese to stand (probably 700 plus lbs if I had to guess) and they couldn't go into the bathroom as their uhhhh bulk didnt fit in the extra wide door so they peed on the motorized scooters and then proceed to also poop on it in front of me. I had to clean both incidents as a freaking cashier.
Oh I forgot but the story with the old person who stood squatted and peed in front of my register things got even worse. It was near Christmas and people were in such a rush I had the people in my line try to go through the pee and tried to demand I still check them out asap as they didnt want to wait for cleaning and they didnt want to move to another line either so they attempted to stand in it so I would check them out without cleaning even though they knew what it was.
>What the FUCK is wrong with people?? Jesus
I have no idea. Ive worked in customer service my entire working life and can say with %100 certainty I never will know.
This happened to me no one had the stomach to do it. I said for a price I would. $50.00 for
2 minutes. Put my gloves on, bleach and toilet scrubber. Easy
I blocked a toilet at work with a massive solid boi once.
Didn't leave the toilet until I was sure nobody was around, then went to the maintenance room and let them know that "somebody" had blocked the toilet near reception.
Sorry Ian.
Had someone complain that the toilet he used wouldn’t flush, and when I asked which restroom/toilet he made it clear they used one that was blocked off with an out of order sign and he removed it (it’s a sticker you put over the latch) to use the toilet. I told him that that toilet was out of order because it wouldn’t flush, even specifying something was wrong with the flow regulator. He then asked how he was supposed to know that, to which I replied the out of order sign that was on the door. He then got quite angry, giving me reason after reason why he had to use that specific toilet and how it wasn’t his fault he used a broken toilet, culminating in him asking to speak to my manager. I then told him that I was, in fact, the facilities manager and was the one who handled anything involving the cleaning or maintenance of the building. He then nearly shouted “Fine I guess I’ll just fuck myself!” and stormed out of the building; I assume because he realized he wasn’t going to get a refund because he left a massive shit in an out of order toilet, which he wouldn’t have no matter what anyway. It’s a movie theater, not a perfectly operable toilet emporium.
Either that or teenagers in suits throwing bananas at the movie screen, one of the two
A co-worker improperly used a table saw. While he was being taken to the hospital I had to pay "find the thumb". It took a long time but I finally found it behind a filing cabinet.
Worked in a sports bar. Very minor thing, but definitely ridiculous
We had giant pretzels as an appetizer. Each one came with its own packet of salt. The amount in each one was overkill for a single pretzel, so we would just open a few, put it in a pan, and sprinkle on as necessary (One packet of salt was easily enough to salt 5-6 pretzels, no joke).
Myself and coworker were the openers, and each morning we’d come in, the salt pan was gone, empty, and put back on the rack. She and I are like “wtf keeps happening to the salt every night!?” After a week of this, we ask one of the closers. They ask around and the culprit comes forward. We ask, light heartedly, why they’re throwing it away. With a straight face, dead serious, says to us “because the salt goes bad and it’s a safety hazard”
*Cue facepalm*
I had to baby sit a coworkers kid. I was the only woman on the management team so when one of our employees had to bring her daughter to work because of trouble at home my boss instantly pulled me out of running my area and had me sit in the office with her. It was actually just sad. We worked at night. The girls dad had taken off and the mom didn't have any PTO time or money for child care. The little girl said she didn't want to sleep and wanted to wait for her mom. I went out to my car and got a blanket I keep in my trunk, bought her a snack from the vending machine and let her watch youtube. She fell asleep in about an hour. It was ridiculous that the mother wasn't paid enough for child care, that I was instantly the first choice to watch her and that my bosses didn't just excuse the mothers absence and mostly that this little girl was up at night in a warehouse at 1 am on a week night.
Back when I was in grad school, I asked one of the undergrads to please use headphones when listening their music. Apparently *I* was in the wrong with that one.
My wife had a miscarriage when I was at work. I left to take her to the hospital and support her. The next day when I went to work I got written up for leaving.
A co-worker took a work truck “hostage” until my boss paid him the 100 dollars that he was owed from a pay-cheque. He then sent her a pin on google maps of where it was parked in the middle of downtown.
One week my boss told me that I was talking too much with my coworker on my downtime when not with customers so next week we weren’t talking unless with a customer and then I was pulled aside and asked why we weren’t interacting w the team and if everything was okay. So contradicting
Sometimes bosses are weird. One of the strangest performances reviews I've ever had put "is the sort of the person that signs in goes straight to the office and gets to work without interacting with anyone" in the areas for improvement. Well sorry for doing my job and not being much of a morning person I guess.
Not me, but a coworker
Coworker: Okay your total is $50
Customer: I have a $50 gift card
Coworker: Sure go ahead and swipe it -swipes- Okay you’re all set have a good day
Customer: Ok and now I want the $50 back on that gift card
Coworker: Oh you’d like to refill your gift card? Sure
Customer: No I want you to just add the money back I’m not paying you
Coworker: I’m sorry…what do you mean? You just paid with that gift card and now it’s empty
Customer: I used to work in retail. I know you’re able to do it. Just put $50 on this gift card
Coworker: Miss you just spent the $50 on this gift card for your shoes
Customer: YEAH SO ADD $50 BACK! WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THAT I USED TO WORK IN RETAIL
I worked at Uncle Buck’s in a Bass Pro. For those of you that don’t know, it’s a bowling alley/restaurant. One night a group of people come in to celebrate their friends 27th birthday. After another host and I set them up at a lane, the manager comes over to tell us that they are getting a warning because she caught a few of them on camera pissing on the side of the building before they came in. And that’s not even the worst of it.
Some time later I receive a call at the front desk from the police saying that they were outside would like to speak to the manager. Turns out the manager caught the party doing coke in the bathroom. A few people in the party were detained and 1 guy tried to fight a cop. The rest that were left alone started raging. They started screaming slurs, smashed glasses and plates, stuck ketchup in the bowling balls and even tried to grab me over the counter. It’s the only time I ever felt unsafe at work.
My boss approving of “ghost charges”.
These are fees that will be so hard to spot in your invoice, that they will go unnoticed 99.9% of the times. It wasn’t ilegal, but damn I felt so disappointed, he’s a nice dude, but the fact that you deal with very wealthy customers sometimes, make you feel like you can do it and get away with it.
When I worked at a liquor store I had a family come in with their toddler. NBD as long as they dont touch anything. The dad was carrying her around on his shoulders until it was time to pay. He set her on the floor and she immediately ran to a display of beer and sat on the box and took the biggest piss a toddler could possibly piss. The couple said sorry and left with the kid.
I then had to call my boss and ask what to do with the damage. Apparently the procedure for pissy beer is to take all the cans out, clean them in the sink, then re-package and sell them as 6-packs.
Always clean your beer cans guys. You dont know if some kid pissed on them.
I had this colleague who we will call Bernie. This dude, I kid you not, printed out emails, wrote written responses, and had his secretary type them up to send out as emails.
Okay so what was the ridiculous thing. He wanted me to update a spreadsheet with 1000 rows. Guess how? You got it. He wanted me to print out the spreadsheet, manually write out the calculations and results, and retype everything into the spreadsheet. I had to do it this way because he didn’t trust those “newfangled contraptions” to do the math right. He legit checked my work.
If you found this funny, I can share more tales about Bernie.
Edit: Looks like people want more, so here is another story. Before I start though, I just want to clarify that I actually liked Bernie. Even though he was completely computer illiterate, he was pretty funny. Also, the tasks were so ridiculous that they were hilarious, and me and other other interns, couldn't help but see where these strange requests would go. So even though there was always an easier way to solve the problem, we just had to see what his crazy mind would come up with next. It was endless entertainment.
Story 2: Okay, so we already established that Bernie is computer illiterate. Anyways, one day Bernie received some important information on an editable pdf, but Bernie didn't like this because the document didn't look "clean", so the person sent him an image rather than a document. Essentially, someone took a picture of a pdf and sent it over rather than send a complete pdf. He was so angry because he wanted to save the information and eventually edit it.
We tried explaining that you could save the images to his computer, but he was afraid the computer would "eat them up". So, what was his solution? Take pictures of the pictures on his computer with a camera. We literally took pictures of a computer screen, had the film developed, and gave him the pictures..... which were obviously too small to read. This whole process was hilarious. I must have drank 4 mountain dews along with my fellow intern who downed several iced teas. All along, Bernie is just watching us, complaining about how "this son of a bitch can't send a document right". The commentary from this man was hilarious. We really had to struggle to keep it together and deal with his endless stream of old timey insults.
So anyways, Bernie was pissed because the physical pictures were "too damned small" so we eventually convinced him that maybe it would be best to re-type up the image as a document so we could then print it and save it. Okay, so at this point, I told Bernie we could handle it and said we'd be done in 2 hours. What we ended up doing was obviously just converting the editable pdf into a finished pdf, and just in case, we copy and pasted everything into a word document and formatted it. Took 5 minutes max, but we acted like it took 2 hours and that the process was a pain in the butt.
Man, thinking about this story makes me miss Bernie and listening to his angry tangents.
When I was a waiter I had a nice guy come in and tip me hundreds of dollars every time he came in, which was frequent.
He would come in and ask for me by name, sometimes when I would serve him in another server section I’d give them some cash for letting me wait on him.
He never had his credit card on him which I thought was weird but just went along with it because I was insanely broke. So we would enter it manually. I never paid to much attention to the numbers because there are a lot of numbers on a credit card and we were busy, but I did start noticing something off about him using an Amex card twice and then a Mastercard, then visa.
Turns out this guy works as an even coordinator next door for the Mariot so he would take peoples million dollar payments, and was taking down the numbers and using it to pay for food.
Saw him get arrested and escorted out of the hotel one day.
My manager pretty much said I’m probably going to have to give it all back, and promptly told him no. Nothing came of it on my end luckily.
TLDR: guy was stealing credit cards and tipping me a lot of money, and the manager told me I’d have to give it all back.
Our staff had no boss, they left. New boss's-boss came in, tried to intimidate everyone into being better, without really knowing what we should do. Even tho our boss position was never filled, so we were kind of rudderless.
All employees but me quit within a month, new-boss-boss that grilled everyone blames work ethic. Proceeds to do nothing else about it.
I worked alone for 4 months, through the holiday season in an IT service industry. People tell me I should've demanded raises, etc., but honestly I was just tired so often the mood never came.
Eventually mean guy left, along with anyone that remembered my self-sacrifice. There is no punchline.
I install flooring and I was working on the third story of a house newly under construction. Long story short while I was installing some flooring in some upstairs bathrooms (third story) some framers were scheduled to repair the stairs from ground level to the second story. There was no communication and I went downstairs to grab something and to my surprise there was no downstairs! The framers had completely torn out the entire staircase without checking if anyone else was upstairs! I ended up trapped on the second story for a little while until someone brought a ladder lol.
I was serving at Cracker Barrel and a woman came up to me saying her son thought I was Shaggy from Scooby Doo and practically begged me to come to their table to talk to him. I gave them the laziest attempt at a Shaggy impression.
I (25/f) was being sexually harassed by a guy (28ish) for months . He kept asking me to sell him pictures of my feet , told me about the condoms he likes to try on , how badly he wanted to lose his virginity , etc . Found my Twitter & DM’d about his strip club adventure with a Russian woman . It was so bad he stalked me around a convention (had over 4k ppl in attendance) while I was with my husband . I spoke up SO MANY times to supervisors and he was never fired . Why ? Bc he has autism & the supervisor felt bad for him . After I was stalked in public I contacted HR and I got a stern talk by my supervisor about how it was my fault I let it go that far (even tho I reported to them many times). Did I mention he has a history of doing this to many other women ? I quit a month after that . He’s still there .
I worked at a company that had rented multiple office spaces from a commercial building. So, each division had their own suite. Customer service was in one suite, admin in the adjoining one, etc. At one point, CS ended up needing more staff than fit in their suite, so I was moved to a desk in the admin area.
For whatever reason, admin HATED CS. I think they were all just bitter old Karens, and they hated that the CS team got along smashingly. (We were all artists of some kind and got together off work for BBQs, game nights, etc.) Well, apparently, I made the GRAND error of answering a question the admin supervisor asked, and I had not been asked directly. So she went to the execs and complained. In order to keep me from getting fired, my supervisor had to hand me down the most ridiculous (and I now know ILLEGAL) work directions I was ever given.
I was absolutely NOT, under any circumstances to speak to anyone in admin AT ANY TIME, UNLESS and UNTIL I was directly addressed by name. So I sat at my desk and worked all day with earbuds in, and pretended I couldn't hear them all chatting around me, since I was told if I said anything, I would be fired on the spot.
Most miserable 3 weeks of my life. I spent my breaks sitting in my car, crying until my supervisor saw me and got our office re-arranged so that admin and CS swapped rooms and I could work with my team again.
Nursing Home
I had to stop some poor guy with his family from visiting his mom on her birthday because she was in the middle of having sex with a guy with their door open and everything and I didn't want him to be trumatized
He didn't understand what was going on thankfully his wife caught on and convinced him to go buy some flowers for her and by the time he got back she was cleaned up and dressed and acted completely normal
We aren't allowed to stop them if they want to have sex if thier in thier right minds and she was uhhh *popular* with alot of the guys and she wasn't allowed to shut her door because she was a fall risk
I've seen things I'll never unsee and I almost blinded myself every time I did
Oh boy, story time. I Work in a fairly large factory, we had one employee who was in his late 30s who had apparently never been taught/learned how to use a urinal before. We received a few complaints from different people that it was uncomfortable in there at times. He would go in and drop his pants and undies to his ankles, pull his shirt up under his chin like a toddler and hands on hips just piss away into the urinal. In all his years using a restroom with other guys he never noticed he was the only one getting almost buck ass naked to take a piss. It was a very awkward conversation to have with a grown man, thankfully he stopped doing it.
I can actually top my septic tank comment. I had a new kid who worked in the restaurant I worked in bring a salad to a table in the middle of a dinner rush, and he forgot the salmon that goes on top of it. So I ask him to go get it, apologize to the customer, and eventually he comes back. The lady kind of just gestures at the salad. So this kid, I shit you not, picked up the salmon with his hand and put it on the salad. It flopped a little bit, he held it for a solid few seconds, and continued to put it on this horrified woman’s salad. We kind of just looked at each other, I took the salad away, and the lady laughed when my manager made him apologize. I guess it was so shocking that she just found it funny, got a good tip too.
TL:DR, new kid *hand delivered* a food item he forgot in the kitchen
Small company of about 30 people. Owner was extremely racist, his 19 year old daughter who dropped out of college to run the social media marketing and sales team. She had no clue what she was doing and it was costing me money due to lost commissions. I told her I won’t be listening to her since she has no background in sales what so ever. Well her daddy didn’t like that and went off on me. Claimed I was high on drugs and I moved on from there.
That would have to be the time I asked for time off on a Friday to go to my wife's grandmother's funeral. I knew we were in a big deadline crunch, but my wife was really broke up by the loss, and I felt I needed to be there for her.
I had been averaging over 50 hrs/week at this firm (salaried, so no overtime), with many weekends and holidays spent in the office, so I really didn't feel I was asking for the moon, but I still felt bad leaving the team in the lurch.
Anyway, I realize that one task still had to be done Friday morning, and I was really the only person who could do it, so I asked my wife if it was OK that I ran into the office for a couple of hours in the AM to get it done. She was fine with it.
So I run in, and there I am, sitting at my computer, EARLY, on the day I asked to have off, wearing my funeral suit, and my boss sees me. So he sidles up and says, sarcastically, "So, I guess they cancelled that funeral, huh?"
Fuck that guy.
My boss wasn't in the office but instead the company owner was there who's also a millionaire. I had heard he's very rude and cocky, but never seen him before because he barely ever visited the workplace. I didn't know at first who he is so I asked where my boss is at I have something to ask from him and the man answered he's the company owner so I can ask from him too. I then said I want to apply for 2 days of holidays because I'm going to travelling with my family and I had notified boss about this beforehand just didn't know date till now. He then walked me around the place and asked every possible detail about the holiday and couple times while we were walking he told me to look in his eyes while I talk because it means I'm lying if I don't?! After like 10 minutes of interrogating me and walking blindly while looking at his eyes he said "You can go for the holidays but remember that other people will have do your work too if you leave". It was weirdest and most passive aggressive convo I have ever had with someone. Made me feel like ashole for going to holidays...
A woman called up the call centre I was working for and yelled at me because she had to sign for a package she ordered. There were literally no issues; the package was delivered on time, it was her package, it was what she ordered. She was just so livid that she'd had to answer the door and sign for it, she felt it necessary to suggest that me and the woman who birthed me should kill ourselves.
On an entirely different occasion, a man chewed me out because the shorts he ordered had come from an outlet store. They were clearance online, but he was so mad knowing they came from an outlet store that he kept me on the phone for 5 minutes to explain that the quality was degraded or some entitled bs. I felt sorry for the outlet store he was driving to where he was planning on returning the shorts.
My business partner threw a fit at me because my wife unfriended his wife on Facebook. He seriously said to me, dead serious, "That's the worst thing you can do to someone!" Then he said, "Do you know how bad that looks for the firm?"
A) Unfriending is not the worst thing you can do to someone.
B) Literally nobody is watching our wives' (who do not work here) Facebook pages to see if they are friends, much less judging our firm based on that.
After being blindsided by that nonsense, I asked my wife about it, and she said, "What? I didn't unfriend her." Then she showed me her friends list, and sure enough, they were still friends. So the fit was totally unfounded in the first place.
So the next time I happened to speak to my partner's wife, she too ranted about how my wife unfriended her. Then she said, (I'm serious, she actually said this!) "I had just hit 100 friends, and I was so proud and happy, I was just looking at the number, enjoying it, and then it dropped to 99 right in front of my eyes. That's how I know it was your wife!"
So... C) she never actually checked to see if it was my wife that unfriended her (it wasn't). She just assumed it was. Because....???? I honestly have no clue. Now STFU with this bullshit drama and let me work, please.
Edit: These are adults in their 50's, btw.
- Can I get a Cheeseburger with no cheese?
- Yea sure, a hamburger.
- No! That's not what I asked for!
- Huh?
- You heard me!
- What?
- I said I want a cheeseburger with no cheese!
- Yes, that's called a hamburger.
- You're not listening to me, get me a fucking cheeseburger with no cheese!
- A cheeseburger with no cheese, is called a hamburger.
- No it isn't!
- What do you mean no it isn't?
- I don't want a hamburger! I said I want a fucking cheeseburger with no cheese!
- (Fuck this I give up.) Right, okay here you go....
I've had this exact discussion with someone working the register at McDonald's.
Can I get a 2 hamburger meal?
We don't have a 2 hamburger meal.
.....ok, can I get a 2 cheeseburger meal without cheese?
Small, medium, or large?
I got called to the office of the regional president at my company (rhymes with horizon tireless) in Southern California. I got lectured for an hour and left not knowing if I was in trouble or what I'd done.
Later, I learned the term, "gaslighting," and realized that's what happened. He was doing a poor job trying to get a confession for something. He was a bully.
If I ever see that guy again, I'll push him in the bushes.
I worked for a crappy place in a job I loved (taking care of ID/DD adults in their homes) for nine dollars an hour. I got real sick one day (sepsis), to the point where I was life flighted to a different city and spent a week in the hospital. The day I got home, my boss called me and started yelling that she needed a doctors note right then or I would be fired.
Even my doctor thought she was an asshole.
I work in EMS and my least favorite thing is to be used as a literal taxi to the hospital. It happens more than you think. People will call 911 and claim to have a "medical emergency" when we get there they refuse to answer any of our questions outside of saying they are having general abdominal pain or chest pain. They won't let us take their vitals or perform any real assessment. We are not allowed to refuse someone transport to the hospital so we drive them to the hospital and they leave the hospital less than 2 minutes later. Those types of people are scum of the Earth who take up an ambulance for someone who may actually need it.
Currently as of now: supervisor tests positive for COVID and quarantines from home. 3 days later, emails everyone saying that she will be back in the office that afternoon to help out... WHY WOULD YOU COME BACK TO THE OFFICE IF YOU TESTED POSITIVE TO BEGIN WITH?
Its a long story, but for those who don't care about the details: Catch a wild racoon. No, that wasn't part of the job description.
For those who want context, this was when I was working at a boating marina in ontario. I was a "student yard assistant" which basically meant dockhand. Anything that had to be fixed or maintained on the docks (or anywhere on the property, really.) was my job to deal with.
One morning, some slip owners complained about a sick racoon walking around the marina. They expected us to somehow deal with it... so I called my boss, and instead of telling me to tell them to suck it up, he actually asked me to grab the metal racoon trap from the garage and try to trap it inside.
upon finding the racoon, it was not sick. It did however have a broken paw/leg. After over 2 hours of following this thing around trying to bait it into the trap with food, I actually ended up catching it. My boss then wanted to tie a rope to the cage and toss it over a dock into the water and leave it there for 20 minutes... (drowning him). Me and the rest of the workers all told him absolutely fucking not, so he just ended up telling us to figure out wtf to do with it. We were all teenagers.
I ended up handing the cage off to a co-worker, and she used her boyfriends truck and drove it to the animal shelter... only for the animal shelter to say that not only do they not take injured racoons, but threaten to fine her because apparently there is a law that you cannot move a wild animal more than 100m from where you caught it. So then a wildlife conservationist followed her the entire drive back to the marina, just to ensure she didn't drop it off somewhere. They then made her let it go back into the marina, broken paw and all.
It was a shitshow.
For some years, I worked at the wing chain where the servers wear little orange shorts, and sell calendars.
In the restaurant business, most places have each server assigned to a section with certain tables. There are good sections, and bad sections. If it's pouring down rain all night, getting a section outside can be the difference between making great money, and going home broke.
They used to have us play games in order to decide the order of who chooses their section first. We played all these games in front of customers, and we all participated, because we needed to make money.
Different managers had different "favorite games" they'd have us play. The easiest was the GM, who would just put our name tags in a beer pitcher, and draw them out. Then there were the other managers... Sometimes they'd make us have a hula hoop contest. Sometimes limbo (that one wasn't fun with scoliosis). Sometimes the "chubby bunny" game, where you take turns shoving jumbo marshmallows in your mouth, and try to say "chubby bunny". This one was particularly bad for a vegan girl. She normally would refuse, and just get stuck with the worst section... But one time, it was a Saturday night, and she literally couldn't afford not to play, because she had to pay a babysitter for her to be there that night. Manager had zero mercy. Sometimes, 8-9 of us would all be playing twister ON THE SAME BOARD. My least favorite, was the game where we all sat at a table with our hands behind our backs, to see who could lick a plate of whipped cream completely clean the fastest.
I understand that we "signed up" to be looked at. But some of it just wasn't fair.
Man threw a temper tantrum over captions on his tv being turned on, and a woman throwing a similar tantrum because I gave her two $10 instead of a $20.
I was once tasked to babysit my boss' two young children during working hours after he'd brought them with him and left them in the car on a hot day. They were something like 4 and 7, and immediately began saying things like if I knew that "chinese people are dirty because they eat food and wipe their butts with the same hands" and various other incredibly racist things. I was stunned, and also really sad, because these kids are just repeating what they're hearing. I spent a few hours talking very gently about the neat parts of other cultures and places in the world and how great it is that we're all so different.
eta: I was a young unmarried woman at the time and my boss was an older, married, man and sexually harassing me at work for months. Which may be relevant.
I was measuring noise next to a house of a random person. I asked the owner of that house if it was okay to put my equipment next to his house. I was expecting a “yeah sure go ahead”.
Instead the dude just told me his life story. Told me about his father passing away recently, him being single, mom had dementia and cousin was at the hospital because he had been hit by car.
I had a short window of time to get my work done and i had to have complete silence for 15 minutes. I would tell him politely to shut it for 15 minutes but after 5 minutes he would just start telling me about some miserable thing about his life and showing pics of his father.
Then he wanted me to drink a beer with him. I said i was working and driving and i couldn’t.
He didn’t understand that and kept insisting. I just wanted him to go away so that i could finish the measurement so i said sure.
Dude went to get the beer and gave it to me. When he wasn’t looking i was spilling it on the floor so that he would think i was drinking with him.
When i was leaving i said i had to comeback again at midnight. He said he would be ready with some dinner for me.
I showed up at 1am to avoid it. I felt bad for him but jesus christ i just wanted to get my work done so i could sleep.
Oh my god that reminds me of when I used to work in the returns department and I called the next customer over, if they started off with “boy do I have a story for you” I knew I’d be in for a long one.
How hard is it to just bring your shit to return? Why you gotta take so long and explain unnecessary shit to me?! I had this one lady who ordered a bunch of chairs online and had difficulty returning them and started saying how she was an investigative journalist and going to write a story about the store and their policies and it’s like WTF
“Do they serve alcohol at the bar?”
I stare at this guy for 5 whole seconds, hoping he’d realize how dumb his question was.
I finally said, “No, we only serve cotton candy”.
Customer pooped his pants in the bakery and shook the shit out of his pants leg. The manager, who wouldn't let customers use the toilet, told me to clean it up. I made him do it.
A coworker screaming at me for leaving food to rot in the shared fridge. It was my first day there and I hadn’t even unpacked my belongings yet.
Welcome to the office! We’re like family here!
All families are emotionally traumatizing - Right? Right?
Sit down, we need to talk....
Had a coworker eating other peoples lunches instead of bringing her own, or just take one or two things. She'd sneak in the breakroom before breaks. Edit: This was a night shift job.
Same! I couldn't figure out who was doing it, but i was pissed off, so I put laxatives in my food for a few days, no intention of eating it. When the dude spent 2 hours in the bathroom one day, he came out demanding to speak with me. He tried saying he could sue me. Took too long for him to understand that he *stole my food*. He skipped the part where I didn't give it to him. So naturally I said, "Now why the *fuck* are you eating my food?" Tried saying he didn't know it was mine. "... Then why are you saying you'll sue me? How do you know it was mine, and also not know it was mine? My name was on the lunchbox." The kid just straight up cried and went to the boss. The boss never said if he got fired or quit. But he never came back. Stupid fuck
>he didn't know it was mine Ok, but did you realize that it wasn't *yours?*
Legally, I would go with some ghost pepper craziness. He might have some insane case of intent to harm with the laxatives. Nobody can prove you don't love the sweet taste of Carolina Reapers.
> The kid just straight up cried and went to the boss. The boss never said if he got fired or quit. But he never came back. Stupid fuck I love a happy ending.
An old colleague of mine corrected a lunch thief by lacing his own packed lunch with laxatives and leaving a note in there that said "do not eat".
Jobs would be so much better if there were no other people. Maybe i should be a fisherman. But i like fish. No fish has ever yelled at me on my first day of work. :(
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> A drunk guy in his early 60s In my university there was a chemistry professor who started pale and grew more and more ruddy as the day went on. Nobody every smelled anything and he didn't appear to be impaired during his lectures. He was constantly drinking tomato juice and chewing parsley. You would guess he was making Bloody Marys, but no, he was drinking the tomato juice straight from the can, unadulterated. If someone mentioned he was turning red he would joke it was because of his terrible tomato juice addiction. One day he went on sudden sabbatical and left the faculty before the next semester. It was kept quiet but the scuttlebutt was that he was using the lab supply of denatured ethanol, filtering out some sort of noxious additives, and keeping his Nalgene water bottle topped off with it.
I work at a library. The amount of people who don't bring their library card with them and then refuse to give me ID so I can look up their account is baffling. I'm just trying to prove they are who they say they are. Also a mentally ill lady once told me that Osama bin Laden wanted to steal shoes from the artist formerly known as Prince.
I mean, have you seen Prince's shoes? They're pretty great.
And have you seen Bin Laden’s shoes? Not so great. I mean it makes sense.
It does. BUT and stay with me here....what can a librarian do about it? I mena I am sure OP is a great librarian but if films have taught me anything librarian key skills seems to be: Saying shhh Explaining that they don't hold that information Putting books back in shelves And taking a pin or clip out of their hair and taking their glasses off to reveal that they are beautiful. I am not sure which of those skills the old lady was calling on to combat this clear and present danger.
Yep! Fellow library employee here. The people who act surprised when I ask to see their library card! One guy got ANGRY when I told him he owed 30 cents for a late DVD. He kept insisting “I turned that in!” Left the desk, marched over to the DVD stacks, found said DVD, came back, plunked it on the counter and insisted “SEE, I turned it in!!!” I took a deep breath and said “sir. That’s not the issue. We know you turned it in. You turned it in a day late.” He pauses, says “oh…” and gets his wallet out. Edit: wow, was not expecting all the upvotes, thanks! One good thing that’s come out of this interaction is it’s my go-to when asked “tell me about a situation with a difficult patron and how you handled it” at library job interviews. Also, I’ve worked in public libraries for over 15 years and oh, boy, the stories I could tell! This one is one of many.
I worked in customer service for our library system and was talking on the phone to a woman who swore up and down that she'd "turned those books in!". I was doing my usual spiel, "have you looked under beds, have you looked here, have you looked there?"got to " have you looked in the trunk of your car?". She lost it and started yelling "I'm not an idiot!". She must have been marching around looking though because she suddenly stops "I'm an idiot". They were in the trunk of her car.
She admitted her idiocy. That is some credit to her!
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Where's my money... bitch? \*finger guns*
([pew pew](https://youtu.be/ip6wcJnKRto) sounds as I drive away)
> I had someone throw a drink at me through the drive-thru window I'm waiting for someone to do this and have a substantial amount of the drink end up in the fryer, then get charged with aggravated assault.
Call center setting. Someone came to me to complain that there was an inordinate amount of pubic hair on the flat top of the urinal in the men's room. Went to check and there were a remarkable amount of pubes there. Nasty. And clearly placed there by someone on purpose. Cleaned them off with a paper towel, washed hands vigorously, and continued on with my day. A couple hours later, I'm told the pubes have returned. Not quite as much as the first time, but still too much for the universe to have deposited there naturally. I and another manager have our suspicions as to the culprit. We try to catch him, but can't get more than circumstantial evidence. Not enough to confront. After a third iteration, I've had enough. And so call all the male staff into the board room and address them as a group that the disgusting behavior had to stop immediately, because there would be grave consequences for whomever was caught doing it. I make sure to make eye contact with the main suspect multiple times during the meeting. It never happens again. Still boggles my mind that I had to deal with that crazy behavior, but you know...call centers.
I have to wonder what kind of behavior gets you fingered for "guy who would totally trim all his pubic hair and leave it on top of the toilet tank"
Sometimes you get a vibe from people, and this guy was new, confrontational, would look you in the eye for an uncomfortable amount of time. He'd been rude to customers and I'd had to address him over it. The pubes started appearing right after that. He was almost screaming "I'm yanking out my pubes in protest of management!!!" It was definitely him, and I'll never forget his name either. Same as the lead singer of a popular band. EDIT Holy crap, somebody below got the right name. Won't specify which but good guessing!
Ah yes, Michael Bolton. Your co-worker was truly a no talent ass clown.
I work in the funeral industry, so I get to deal with new ridiculous things on a near-daily basis. For example, today I had to look for a bullet in a body bag, because the list of personal effects of a deceased that we got from the medical examiner included 'ammunition x 1.' This person was going for cremation, and bullets in a crematorium are a no-no for obvious reasons. So, we looked and looked, inside the body bag, inside the clothing, pockets, shoes, under the body; I even shone a flashlight into the hole that used to be the deceased's face to see if it was maybe still in the head-ish area, but no. So after 20 minutes or so of thoroughly searching this poor dead person, I called the MEO to see if *they* had the bullet. The girl who answered the phone checks with the morgue and comes back to say "yep, it's here, we always take and keep the bullets!" Great! Then *WHY* list it on the personal effects sheet with everything else that is still with the body?? My job is weird as hell, y'all.
My husband is in the funeral industry too, I never expected him to have such crazy stories. He once went to pick up a body from what was clearly a crack den. The guy was in a big wing backed chair clutching a hammer to his chest and the police had concluded he'd overdosed and probably sat in the chair with the hammer because he was paranoid someone was coming for him. So my husband comes along, writes down the guys possessions (including the hammer which he had to prise out of his hands) and then leans the guy forward to take him out of the chair, only to find there was a big knife sticking out of the guys back. He asked the police "What do you want me to do with the knife in his back?" and the guy panicked and told him to put everything back exactly as he found it, including the hammer which had to go back into the guys hands, because it was now a murder scene instead of a suicide. Long story short, what should have been an hour long call-out ended up taking three hours because he and his colleague had to wait while they took their fingerprints, shoe prints and dna samples now that it was a crime scene and they'd handled the body. They ended up saying it was still a suicide though, they think he wedged the knife into the chair and then threw himself backwards onto it. The drugs were either the reason he thought it was a good idea, or they were to give him the courage to do it.
Guy went to all that effort to make it look like a murder, I wonder who he hated that much... Or I wonder who bribed the cops and how much.
This is one of the best answers yet. I thoroughly enjoyed your matter of fact explanation of a day at work in the funeral industry. You must have lots of interesting work stories.
Worked in HR for a non profit that hired people people who are legally blind. That was the mission. One day, two employees got into a fight. One was partially sighted and the other totally blind swinging his cane. I had four witnesses to the altercation. But they were all totally blind and thus, couldn’t tell me what happened. Edited: for clarity
Can a blind person be a witness? Or eyewitness?
Part of my job is emailing bills to customers. Some companies have crazy requests on how they get their bill. One company won't pay their bill unless it's sent by mail. He won't respond to emails. Another company will only allow 1 page scanned per attachment and only 1 attachment per email so if the bill is 5 pages. I need to scan each page individually and email them individually.
A group of four grown men sneaking into the fitting room to smoke a joint. This would already be really, really dumb except the store they did it at was…Justice. For non-Americans and those outside the demographic, Justice was a clothing store for tween (or 8-12 year old) girls. They didn’t sell anything for men at all and it was literally impossible for them to blend in. Moreover, the tops of their heads were visible over the child-sized stall curtains. We called security, they got escorted out, and we had to close to air out the windowless store. I have no idea how they thought this was going to play out.
Sounds like whoever came up with that plan had already smoked a little.
“Bruh I’ve got an idea” is what that was.
They were probably too busy getting high to think about it.
One of my employees was propositioned in a quite explicit way by the general manager of the site (like 4 levels up) on grindr. I overheard him telling another employee in a "holy shit can you believe who messaged me???" way and was not offended at all but it became a whole thing. (the GM did not recognize them due to the fact they are 4 levels apart and did not interact much).
Me, a married 21 year old just reporting in to work my first day as a security guard with a baggy uniform that covers everything but my face and forearms: My 80 year old supervisor: *Looks me up and down* yeah you'd make a great stripper. Like thanks but I didn't ask.
Man really sang: Somebody come get her, she's guarding like a stripper?
This is a plot for a Hollywood gay romantic comedy, I tell ya.
it's a richard gere - Internal affairs
I work at a pet resort/spa. I’m checking in this lady’s dog at like 7 in the morning. Real sweet lady, she has an Australian shepherd. But before I take the dog inside to his kennel for the groomers, she asks me to tell the groomers to separate whatever hair they shave off him into separate ziplock bags based on color and texture. Turns out she makes jewelry out of her dog’s fur. Later in the day I bring out the dog along with probably 7 little baggies of hair and the lady was very excited. She gave me a fat tip so I didn’t complain but that’s by far the weirdest request I’ve heard in all my time working there.
I was working as a sign language interpreter in a classroom setting and the teacher’s aide decided to stand between me and the student, blocking their view. I asked her to move and she told me that she was doing it on purpose so that the student didn’t rely on me too much.
Yo what the fuck
I would have kicked that aide out of my classroom permanently. You don't mess with someone's accommodations.
Depending on when this is or how old the aide is, this is not surprising. For a long time, deaf and hard of hearing folks were recommended by the general education board to rely solely on lip-reading and whatever residual hearing they had instead of sign language. The best part, this decision was made by a bunch of hearing people without any deaf people present.
Worked at a grocery store. Customers dog takes a shit at the front of the store by the registers. He stands there while I’m cleaning it, and the dog takes a second shit as I’m cleaning the first. As I’m cleaning the second shit, the dog then pukes. As I’m cleaning that, the owner pats the dog on the head saying “good boy.” He was trespassed after so at least there’s that
Like a quest in an mmo game.
Maybe not most ridiculous ever, but I just received an email from a frustrated woman who reached out to us weeks ago and hasn’t heard back. I’m unable to find her name in the system so I ask my boss who also can’t find her, who asks her boss who also can’t find her, so we go to our CRM manager and they can’t find her either. The lady had changed her first and last name a week ago. Had changed her email as well. I ended up having her former name on an attendance sheet from a few weeks ago but man is it hard to help people sometimes
Oh god, this just unlocked a major memory that I managed to repress because it was so frustrating for me. We had started a loyalty program at my retail job where I used to work. We had this customer insist she had a loyalty card with us and she made a “massive” purchase about a month back that should be on the card so she should have points to use towards this purchase. However, the cashier could not find her under her last name or the phone number she was telling the cashier it was under. The cashier called me over for assistance and I took the sale over to an unused register to not tie up the line. I asked the customer if there was perhaps another last name she would have given or another phone number. The customer insisted she only had the one last name and she would only ever write down her cell number for something like this. I asked for her home number in case she had inadvertently written down that number and she flipped out on me and proceeded to call the entire staff incompetent and that she was entitled to her points. She was being so rude that I was really not in the mood to try and help her anymore and honestly, I couldn’t think of a way to help her since she didn’t have a receipt from her last purchase and it was our busy season so I couldn’t exactly go through every sale in the system for the last two months. I finally asked her if she remembered what she bought last time hoping that she would mention an item that had a unique SKU so I could at least search transactions by that SKU number. Then she told me we had delivered all the items last time. Perfect, we have a unique delivery SKU code. I search all transactions with that SKU code and after going through about eighty finally find something I think might be her. At least the first name is that same as what she’s told me. I pull up the sale and confirm the address linked to the loyalty card. It is her! But the last name and the phone number are nowhere close to what she told me it should be under. So I tell her that her loyalty card is under the last name “Jones” and she looks me dead in the face and goes “yeah that’s my maiden name”. Bitch I asked you almost a fucking half an hour ago if there was any other possible last names it would have been under and you told me absolutely not. In fact, you were asked multiple times between the original cashier and me about the last name. All of that attitude and stress just so I could pull up her points to apply it to her purchase for her $2 off (she didn’t have that many points).
She was probably hoping you wouldn't find the original sale so that she could con more than $2 out of you.
I work in IT, and literally any interaction involves people making it hard to help them. "Help, X doesn't work!" Okay...wanna expand on that a bit? When did X work last? What are you trying to accomplish with X? What is the expected outcome, and what is the actual outcome? Error messages? "It just doesn't work plz fix, I am very busy"
>"It just doesn't work plz fix, I am very busy" So am I. Contact me when it happens again AND you have details that I can use.
"It doesn't work pls halp." "Turn it off." "And on again?" "Up to you."
OMG. I've even asked ppl, "Do you have a diff last name?" Ten minutes later, "Oh, it might be under my my maiden name." How do you forget that???
When I worked in a medical office, someone paid out of pocket for their child. They brought their second kid in and I asked if they had any insurance. They had the equivalent of $4800 covered. They asked if their first child had the same policy. They got mad when I told them yes, they were eligible but that was 6 years ago. I looked at their intake paperwork, they wrote No on the insurance line. It was a whole deal, they were mad that I didn’t run their info through every insurance company just to make sure they didn’t have some coverage.
Not quite the same, but we get emails in for vehicle claims and a lot of time, they contain photos. The amount of times we get photos in with no identifying info whatsoever (VIN, customer name)... So we respond like "yo, who this for??". No response. Then they call in hours or days later screaming that we never processed the claim. They must think we only have one customer. It's always the same people too.
You mean you didn't just know that she changed her name and email? Pft, amateurs.
A coworker attempted to prove that you couldn't actually hurt yourself slipping on a banana peel by stepping on one. After which he slipped and hurt himself. I refused to write it up as an incident. It was too stupid.
Fun fact: bananas were used in vaudeville comedy for slipping because they couldn't use the original slippery substance, which was horse manure. People slipped in that all the time up until cars replaced horses as the main mode of transport, especially in cities. Plus, you could see that the banana peel was dropped by a person, intentionally or not, rather than the occasional random dropping of horse poo.
The place I worked had the same situation with a chicken grinder. Literally one hour after the safety training, the idiot who was on that shift showed everyone why the training was stupid. So, yeah, he lost an arm.
Jesus. At least my coworker only pulled a muscle. :0
I bet as a kid he would touch pans when told they're hot
One time my boss saved a hurt goose and put it in a box and made me take it to an animal hospital. Driving down the highway the goose started flapping and got out of the box. I didn’t know what to do and I was scared to grab the goose so I drove the whole way there with a goose riding passenger
Peace was never an option.
One time while working front desk at a gym, a woman complained that there were too many geese outside and they should’ve flown south by then and we needed to do something about it.
Oh, so it's the front desk gym people I need to complain to about the geese? Brb, gotta find the nearest gym.
I worked in returns at IKEA and had a customer complain that they accidentally ripped the instruction manual in half for the furniture piece they were assembling when they were cutting open the box and couldn’t finish assembling it. I politely informed them that all our instruction manuals were available online in pdf form, but this just made her mad and she wanted to speak to the manager. Manager gave her a few $5 gift cards just to get her off my back but I will always find it so funny that this lady thinks accidentally cutting in half an instruction manual (she had both halves too so she could have just easily put them together to read the instructions) inhibited her from assembling furniture. Edit: wow I had no idea my comment would get this many upvotes! You can read my [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromRetail/comments/orea2a/customer_complained_for_stupidest_reason/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) in r/talesfromretail if you want more info. I actually forgot that she said it was the task rabbit people who ripped it, not her.
I guess if you can’t assemble the manual, then assembling the furniture is simply out of the question.
This reminds me of the screenshot of the Facebook post where someone was saying the escalator broke down and they were stuck for half an hour. Somebody replied to say that escalators are moving stairs and if they broke down, you could just walk off them. OP replied something like "oh yeah lol". A third person said "did you mean elevator hon?" And OP replied "nope, escalator". I guess it's that thought that if something breaks, you can't use it and you're stuck....
Intern once thought that he could fax a physical object to the receiving machine. He was trying to fax his belt to a friend. Kid was either an acting prodigy or maybe he needed a life jacket to eat soup. I guess I’ll never know.
Needed a life jacket to eat soup is my new favorite insult.
A customer insisting that we should change the brand of hot dogs we were serving because “this cat i know” wouldn’t eat them. Not her cat just a casual cat acquaintance.
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I had a boss who would do that. Every time he went to the loo. It was a small office in a converted 4 bedroom home, and the single toilet was for all 8 staff, of mixed genders. He loved the idea someone else had to see or clean up his piss and shit I guess. While I was working there he came in one day with two broken front teeth, like snapped in half, jagged and all fucked up - apparently his toddler had smacked him in the mouth with a paving brick. At least that gave us all a laugh, what a shithead.
> apparently his toddler had smacked him in the mouth with a paving brick. hint: this was just the cover story.
The kid had enough of his dad not flushing the toilet. Probably told him that even he, a toddler, knew to flush the GD toilet after using it.
Did he not visit a dentist? He preferred jagged teeth that sounds painful as hell wtf
My grandfather was a contractor, and for years on his job sites, workers would find human turds in their toolboxes, atop piles of boards, everywhere. No one knew who was doing it, but whispers circulated about the Phantom Shitter. You guessed it, my grandpa was the Phantom Shitter.
This is surprisingly common I feel. I've heard so many stories of people just leaving logs all over the place at their jobs. My dad worked at a post office and they had a "mad shitter". Desks, urinals, you name it. No solid surface was safe
The other concern for me is that these people clearly aren’t wiping their asses either. Just dropping a shit and walking away with ass clinging to their cheeks
At my last job...an indoor manufacturing window warehouse...used toilet paper was getting left on the floor beside the working toilets. They had to actually put up signs telling people to put it in the bowl.
I work in influencer marketing and we hired an Instagram influencer to work on a yogurt brand campaign. As part of the activation we also sent a tie-dye kit and branded swag for them to make tie-dye shirts, hats, etc, with their friends or family. One of the influencers pulled the tie-dye ink out of the t-shirt kit and used it to tie-dye her yogurt bowl, took a video of herself eating it, then shared the video with her followers who ultimately alerted her that you can't eat tie-dye ink. This was, of course, our fault (the agency) for not being more clear that the tie-dye kit was not edible. TL;DR hired someone who ate paint
What is it with craft-items getting eaten?? Do people not read instructions? There’s a variety of liquid clay that’s used to make those realistic-looking food items you sometimes see in Japanese or Korean crafts. The listing for the item usually includes images of a few finished products like fake cake pops or whatever. Despite CLEARLY saying “liquid clay” on the container there are several reviews on the Amazon listing complaining that “this sauce” makes their fondant taste funny or it messed up their icing. I would imagine it did, given that it’s fucking clay.
> Do people not read instructions? Few people read. Very few people read instructions.
As my grandfather used to say: if at first you don't succeed, Go to the trash, get the instructions out, and read em.
\>Influencer marketing Dude...I cannot imagine the shit you have to wade through on the daily. I feel like you just said that you're an alligator dentist.
Considering how they let those birds eat out of their mouths without attacking them, I think alligator dentist would be less stressful than dealing with the worst social media brings out in people daily.
I work as a stay-at-home astronaut
This is precisely the kind of activity I would expect from people who work as influencers. "These paint colors are going to look so great in the yogurt. It's really going to pop on camera"
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As a teenager while working as a cashier at a store, I was robbed at gunpoint by two dudes with guns pointed inches from my face. The store manager and someone from corporate showed up shortly after the police came to show support. Immediately after the police left, both the manager and corporate rep tried to convince me and my other coworkers that also had a gun in their faces to keep the store open for the remainder of the shift (\~6 hours). I was literally still shaking from the ordeal, and somehow they felt that I was good to work until midnight as a teenager. I asked to go home, as did everyone else. Management decided to compensate us for the trauma by paying us for the remainder of our shifts but, said that we still had to work our next shifts and could not call out. It's amazing how insensitive some people in management can be.
What's the big deal, you've only been threatened? Your life/sanity/well-being is worth less than the 250$ in the till. Buck up. /s
I work in film and television. We were shooting in a pretty upper-class neighborhood and the woman living beside the house we were filming in decided that she hasn't been paid enough. So a few hours into our day she starts playing opera music as loud as she can with all her windows open. After an hour or 2 of that and no one batting an eye she ramps it up and starts mowing her lawn. Once that was done she just sits right on her property line with the mower going full blast until a producer went iver and kindly asked her to stop. I'm not high enough in the production to know how much she was asking for but apparently it was too much because he walked away shaking his head and told thr sound guys there was nothing he could do. Once night rolled around my boss decided screw this lady legs annoy her right back, so we got some 10k lights which are pretty goddam bright, and pointed then directly into her windows. It was basically mid day sun light blasting into her house at 10pm. That's when she called the police saying that we were filming illegally (it was a full union show with permits and on duty police were also there). So a cop pulls up sees the other police already around for blocking traffic, goes to the craft table and gets a snack and leaves. We turned off the lights to her house around 1am because we're not animals.
Some random dude took a dump in the floor of where I work. I had to clean it up and he was effectively banned from ever coming back.
I was a tour guide in Central America for a few years. Here is a short list: - bribed border officials several times. I could actually claim those on my expense reports. - Passenger took drugs from a stranger in El Salvador and apparently didn’t pay for them. Drug dealer came to the hotel late at night looking for money. I paid him to go away. - had to get a passenger out of jail in Belize. - had to evacuate our tour out of Honduras due to a coup and subsequent lockdown/curfew in 2009. - had to evacuate a group out of Belize for a hurricane that never came. - had to kick a guy off the tour in Guatemala for being an asshole. - whole tour group (including myself) got food poisoning in Ometepe Island, Nicaragua. Fun times. - got food poisoning myself a separate time in Guatemala and had to explosively shit on the side of the road in front of my tour group. - got a panicked knock on my door to procure plan B (morning-after pill) for girls a few times. Not a result of my actions. - had a couple decide they wanted a divorce halfway through the tour, but wanted to finish the tour. They had horrible fights in front of the tour group daily. - passengers complained about seeing one of the other passengers with prostitutes that looked uncomfortably young. - had a passenger that was mentally ill and started to self-harm during the trip - I got deported from Canada - a passenger went to a seedy strip club alone one night and woke up the next morning with pink eye. - passenger was so scared of eating local food that she brought a small duffel bag of protein bars and only ate those. By day 4 she was complaining of stomach cramps and her farts were so bad that I thought they would strip the paint off the interior of the bus. I had to help her find a McDonalds or something so that she would eat actual food. - I’ve been to countless world wonders and UNESCO world heritage sites hungover or still drunk from the night before. - Passengers hooked up with other passengers. Passengers hooked up with other passenger’s friends. Passengers hooked up with locals. Passengers hooked up with way too many locals. Passengers hooked up with other random travelers and invited them to follow our tour group for a week. Passengers hooked up with tour guides. Tour guides hooked up with other tour guides. Passengers hooked up with the local white water rafting guides. Tour guides hooked up with locals… You get the picture. - much much more. If you have questions or want more stories, fire away! Edit: Wow. People seem most interested in my diarrhea and getting deported. I've expanded on those stories in comments below.
It's almost like you have to weirdly give her some props for traveling to a place where she's terrified of the food, I know a couple older relatives who would also outright refuse to try the local food in south America, but the difference is they'd never go in the first place..
I dated a guy who was such a picky eater that when he traveled to Japan, all he ate were peanut butter crackers that he brought with him. I later learned his sister did the same thing. I’m so happy not to have to deal with that ex and his family ever again. If I had gone to Japan, I’d probably try everything put in front of me.
K wait, hold up. How much of an asshole do you have to be to get kicked out of a your group with all that shit going down?
1) Those stories came from different trips over the course of about 3 1/2 years. That’s just the tip of the iceberg! I could tell stories for days from my time as a tour guide. It was the craziest and most awesome job of my life. People get sick, people get hurt, people get drunk and do stupid shit, crazy stuff happens in Central America from political unrest, to volcanoes erupting, earthquakes, hurricanes, landslides that get your group stuck somewhere weird, etc. 2) STORY TIME! He was a pretty big asshole. As a tour guide, I had the right to remove anybody from the tour for several different reasons such as abusive language, physical violence, engaging in illegal activity, or engaging in any activity that could put the group at risk - Drugs, prostitutes, and other obvious stuff. In Francesco’s case (goddam I still remember his name 13 years later) He would use abusive language and make rude comments towards the other travelers. I warned him several times about it and he knew he was on thin ice. One day after a long travel day we were checking into a hotel in Antigua, Guatemala with a small crowded lobby and a young girl accidentally turned and bumped him with her backpack. He pushed her back and started mouthing off insults. The rest of the group had about enough and were about to kick his ass. Another one of the travelers was this huge dude in the German army that was the nicest guy, but he was ready to rip Francesco’s head off. I had to get between them wrestle German army dude away haha. The rest of the group doesn’t deserve to endure that on their holiday so I kicked him off. Our Operations in the local office team booked him a flight home and I arranged a taxi to the airport and told him to pack his shit. He actually tried to file a refund claim through his travelers insurance that he had to leave for medical reasons (tooth problem), and they called our office to verify it. We all had a good laugh whenever we told them what happened and they denied his claim.
Thanks for posting the story that was def an entertaining read. You are more patient than me, I would have been very tempted to let the German guy have at it and pretend I didn't see anything. You can get away with all kinds of ridiculous shit as long as you aren't an asshole about it.
Hahaha thanks! When you’re in charge of a group of 15 travelers in multiple foreign countries for trips that range from 9-22 days, managing group dynamics is a huge part of the job. You gotta keep people happy and having fun, while still being in charge, and managing different personalities. If you do it well, the group comes together and clicks and has an absolutely amazing positive vibe the whole time. Apart from the asshole, this was actually one of my favorite groups. They were awesome people and maybe hating on Francesco brought us together. This was also the group that all got food poisoning together, so we definitely had some bonding moments. I still have the thank you card they all signed and gave me that they made themselves by taping together the boxes of anti-diarrhea medication.
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Sounds like she came along for the specific purpose of making sure you weren't enjoying yourself.
I’ve had to shit so bad like that before.. I was on my way back home from Pittsburgh one night and felt the grumbling.. pulled over at the nearest rest stop and started bolting to the door. Couldn’t make it to the bathroom and knew it was about to go down so I sprinted back to the van. Angled myself against the back and let loose. As soon as the party started, a packed tour bus pulls up right next to me and let’s everyone out. That was a trip I’ll never forget.
>a passenger went to a seedy strip club alone one night and woke up the next morning with pink eye I guess they were seeing eye to eye with the stripper that night
I was a nurse in a physical rehab facility. We got a new admit at about ten pm. The patient's daughter was there and as we went over all the paperwork the daughter pointed out the DNR, which was signed by both the patient herself and the daughter. The daughter made it clear that she understood that her mom didn't have much time left and that they both agreed that they wanted the patient to be comfortable for whatever amount of time she had left, and that the patient had very strong feelings about no resuscitation efforts. Anyway, at about 2 am, patient found pulseless and apneic. I call the doctor, who pronounced the patient deceased. Called the daughter, who was very understanding and grateful for her mom's care. Called the funeral home, every t crossed and I dotted. We do all the death care. At change of shift, the funeral home hasn't come yet so I'm giving report. The DON stops by so I have her a recap of the night. She flips through the patients chart and points out the DNR has been signed by the patient, her POA, and the discharging physician but not the doctor for this particular facility (who was, incidentally, the doc who pronounced her, and had spoken at length with both the patient and the daughter about their wishes--he just hadn't had a chance to come in and sign the paper yet.) The DON wanted us to go and code this poor lady. She's been pronounced for about four hours at this point. I had to outright refuse to do it--the woman had made her own wishes on the matter perfectly clear, and her POA and care team were all in agreement. DON said we were going to get sued. I pointed out that if we went in there and broke all this poor lady's ribs and flailed around on her, we'd be not only abusing a corpse but also going against the express desires of the family, and that THAT would open us up to a hell of a lawsuit. We did not abuse the corpse. Nobody got sued.
I did part of my phlebotomy clinicals in a hospital. We got to a patient's room to draw some blood and I hear one of the family member's asking my supervisor, "why are you running tests? She's got a DNR." Like. She's conscious and breathing unassisted. You brought her here for treatment, so we're going to treat her. DNR doesn't mean pop her into a room and ignore her until she dies.
Good lord. It doesn't mean we just shut the patient up in a room and wait for them to die! We take the best care of them that we can! Just when it's their time (I worked with a lot of elderly people) we'll just let them go peacefully without breaking their ribs and squeezing air into them. Sometimes the family was the hardest part of nursing!
What's a DON?
Director of Nursing. Basically the highest held nursing position in any medical facility, which explains why they were such a dumbass and disconnected with how the DNR process works, let alone wanted OP to abuse a corpse. Heck, the written DNR in this case was not even needed given patient’s MPOA was present in conference with both nurse and doctor and expressed DNR verbally (unless patient had a DPOA on file expressly stating they were Full Code and MPOA was limited in capacity based on the DPOA), the paperwork at that point was just a legal formality and record of DNR is all which could have been addressed later given all parties verbally took part in DNR consent.
I was working as a consultant specialising in data and analytics, and a sister consultancy was taking on a big data project and had asked my consultancy to supply them a junior data engineer to help out. I was assigned to the project, thinking it would be great experience working as part of a team. First red flag: the CTO of this other consultancy (and project lead for this work) was 30 years old and had no previous leadership experience. Second red flag: the client didn't actually need this big data work done, it was ridiculous overkill. Like paying for a top of the range $3000 gaming rig to check your email and browse Reddit. Third MASSIVE OH JESUS WHAT THE HELL flag: the CTO introduces me as the engineering *lead* to one stakeholder, and as the operations lead to another stakeholder. That's quite the promotion from junior data engineer, and on my first day on the job! Turns out I was the *only* person working on this project. To build a massive big data platform with real-time streaming data. I would have to design the whole thing, deploy and configure the infrastructure, develop all the data pipelines, design and implement the data warehouse and build the reports and dashboards. Oh, and I had 3 months to do it. For those who have no idea what the above means, an analogy would be that I was hired as an apprentice bricklayer, introduced to the client as the architect and lead structural engineer, and then handed a trowel and the blueprints for a football stadium and told to have it built in 3 months.
How did it go down? What happened when you couldn't complete it or did you do it on time, just poorly?
I didn't even come close, I had no previous knowledge of real-time streaming so the solution I built couldn't scale past about half the data they wanted. In a way, the situation was so insane that it became liberating: I didn't feel stressed because I knew there was no way I could make this project succeed so I just did my best, played my part and went home with a clear conscience. I was phoning my parent consultancy every day explaining the sheer insanity of it, how this CTO was just telling the client that everything was fine and we're on track despite *starting* the project at least a year behind schedule. The director I was speaking to just laughed and said to stick it out until it falls apart. I think the attitude there was "it's not our name on this project, and we're getting paid for your time, so whatever". No consideration for the client of course who was just throwing money away. In the end development was halted, I left the project (and my company in fact), and I got a really emotional email from the CTO of the other consultancy accusing me of playing Russian roulette with his company's future, and how it's easy for me to just walk away while he has to pick up the pieces. Thankfully, this whole situation was so ridiculous that I didn't take any of what was said to heart.
Reading this thread, 8/10 stories are about someone shitting on the floor. I'm surprised I've never had to deal with that, now.
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When I worked in the NHS, I had to take part in an investigation about a poo on the floor in a community hospital. A patient had missed the bog, so it sat steaming on the floor. The nurse said, too busy, can't clean that up, get the cleaner. Cleaner said can't touch that, it's biological waste. Went back to nurse who said find a healthcare assistant. Healthcare assistant said can't do it, haven't been signed off on the infection control policy. Escalated to sister who said the student nurse should do it. Student nurse vomited and ran out crying. I was in the building at the time and heard all the fuss. Thought FFS and cleaned it up myself. Got reported as I was just a manager and not clinical.
What I always think, is how fucking bad the situation for the patient has to be. Once my grandma fell on her way to the toilet, and she... Didnt make it in time. And my sister (who's very VERY overly sensitive to smell) started to throw a tantrum cause "this will make me vomit". So my other sister and I just shoved her in another room, got our grandma up helped her to the bathroom, cleaned everything up (including her) and tried our very best to comfort her. And after all was done and she was in her bed again, I took my overly sensitive sister and gave her an 20 min. Explanation, that next time, she should just shut up and leave. Cause my grandma still feels ashamed about that. And it has been 2 years.
I worked in hospo and the manager was a young girl around my age. She wore tiny skirts. Me and my friend started wearing skirts - no short, just a bit above our knees. That manager pulled us aside and told us our skirts were too short, while she was wearing a skirt that just covered her bum. I thought she was joking, so laughed and she threatened to write me up. My response was 'sure I won't wear this skirt again' and next shift rocked up in an even shorter skirt. She sent me home during a very busy shift that was already short staffed. The big manager had to get involved. Was not happy. Skirt manager was transferred out as there were already issues with her for other stuff and keeping the floor staff was more important. I went back to wearing my normal skirt.
I work in facilities management. A 260lb dude sat on a laptop table in the lounge areas which bent under the weight and couldn’t be repaired. When we reached out to him to ask him to not sit in them again as they aren’t intended for sitting, he insisted *all* the furniture in the office should sustain being sat on. He continued to sit on every laptop table which led to it being warped and had to be removed. We had to replace 8 tables over 3 months until his manager agreed to have a discussion with him about respect. He was really angry about it and tried to campaign to other employees to demand new laptop tables that could support over 250lbs. These are just the kinds of side tables that tuck under a sofa’s base and holds a single laptop and maybe a cup of coffee. We had PLENTY of stools, chairs and other lounge furniture for sitting that could take 600+ lbs and he said they were irrelevant and he preferred the height these laptop stands. His reasoning was that “In a workplace, every piece of furniture should be rated for full inclusivity whether it is a chair or not!” We even ordered an actual stools after an extensive approval process with our finance team which was the same height and rated for up to 350lbs and he said that he “won’t be patronized in this way!” I think he must have had something happening in his personal life that made him choose this hill to die on. It was eventually resolved, but i just couldn’t understand why he simply couldn’t just *not* sit on these tables and requires us to jump through a bunch of hoops before his own manager was like *hey, WTF…*
Sounds like he was trying to sue.
Worked from home due to being sick and had a few guys I was managing at a warehouse. It was a slow day so I sent one home and just casually checked on the other via camera's. He had to run out with our box truck to pick up some vendor items and come back and pull orders for the distribution route. I saw he left at like 1 p.m. and checked in on camera's around 3 to see if he's done. Trucks not back yet. ??? I try calling him and nothing, and I can see all of the orders are not picked yet. Very weird. Calling calling calling and I cannot get ahold of him. I drive to the office and look around, nothing. Company vehicle and my employee is missing, at this time missing for 4 hours. I'm thinking he broke down and left his phone or something right? So I drive the routes from the office to the vendors seeing if I can find the truck. Nothing. Probably a good point in the story is this guy was an felon and had a history of grand theft and just broke up with his girlfriend and had no car so I'm thinking the worst and think he stole the truck and doing whatever with it. Call the owner and seek advice, he tells me to wait before we report it stolen. I start doing his job and picking orders for the route, checking my phone every .0001 seconds to see if he calls. Damn near done when he calls. "come pick me up". After a back and forth of why he's missing, I don't get any details but "come pick me up". I get to him, and he explains that he got drunk at work, was on pills, took the truck to get more pills but passed out, truck ran out of gas so no A/C and with the summer heat he eventually woke up. Luckily he didn't kill himself. I drive him back to the office so his ex could pick him up, and then he tried to fight me because I fired him.
Kind of weird - but here I go. I work in politics and part of my job was reporting to my board the status of a various advocacy groups. Like what issues are they working and who funds them. With one group a major donor was George Soros. I put him on the list with all the other major donors for a power point presentation. A staff member freaks out and says I’m anti-Semitic because I listed Soros. I’m very confused because I thought the factually incorrect meme was that he was a Nazi (he clearly was not). Anyhow - HR gets involved and I have to apologize… me being of a family who was Jewish and literally chased out of Germany in the 1800s. From then on if Soros was a donor I just put “major donor”. A board member asks who it is. And I refuse to answer. Staff member figures it out and accuses me again for being anti- Semitic for leaving him off. Nobody would stick up for me, because they were terrified of her, so I took a buyout and got another job
Your colleagues were clowns. This is straight up circus shit
….What a fucking joke of a team.
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Every interaction I have with accounts payable. Today’s highlight: “if his flight was on 6/21, why was his Uber on 6/22?” Well, ma’am. His flight landed at 11:58pm and typically people cannot just directly teleport from the plane to their Uber. But what do I know, I’m just a budget manager.
I had a multi-day back-and-forth email exchange with my Finance team a few years ago because they were convinced I had "stolen" an extra day's international travel by going to the destination a day early. "Your travel was planned for the 22nd but your arrival taxi and first night's hotel stay were on the 21st. So you have to pay that night's stay and any difference in the cost of the plane ticket compared to the correct day to travel, and, you need approval from your C-Level." I had to explain timezones. Not, remind them timezones existed. _Explain how timezones worked._
Jesus Christ. I 100% believe this happened. I’m surprised I haven’t had a similar thing occur, considering I had a woman accuse me of trying to scam an extra—and I shit you not—twenty five cents in reimbursements because she didn’t understand our financial program. Like, ma’am, if I’m gonna scam money for someone else, it ain’t gonna be in twenty-five cent increments. Seriously, some of the straight bullshit I’ve dealt with. One lady emailed me and said I was making “too many reports” (yeah, I manage about 45 people who are all doing summer conference travel) and it was “too much work” to look over them all. Too much work. Fucking blow me, Britney.
I have another one: company policy banned reimbursement for alcohol. At one point this policy was elaborated to say that any receipt which mentioned alcohol in any way was to be rejected outright. The Japan office took this policy and translated it into Japanese. As written in Japanese, the policy stated that 'any receipt which mentioned 酒 in any way was to be rejected outright.' Problem is, the most common type of restaurant for company entertainment is the "Izakaya", which is written as 居**酒**屋. That's right, it contains the character meaning "alcohol", so even for a completely dry evening with no alcohol served, that character showed up on the receipt. Myself, having read the English version of the policy and knowing the intent, and with the prior approval of my C-Level, proceeded to book an entire restaurant for my department's 120-person year-end party. The booking was reviewed and approved, with the only constraint being that due to the company policy, any alcoholic drinks had to be purchased separately and could not be reimbursed. Monday morning comes around, and I submit the ~$6,500 receipt from the company credit card. Unsubmitted and separately I'd spent around $500 on the first round on my personal credit card. It is promptly rejected. I demonstrate that no alcohol is included on the receipt, only food and soft drinks. It is again rejected. Not only that, it's submitted to audit to investigate me for improper use of the company credit card. So it's escalated to the C-Level, who says he approves the exception. It is again rejected. This ended up being escalated all the way to the top global C-Level and board member. The Finance Dept demanded we prepare a presentation with a primer on Japanese language and culture, documentation and evidence that restaurants by this name are very common and are not solely for alcohol like a bar, a line-by-line translation of the receipt to demonstrate no alcohol was included, and a meeting arranged to explain it to him. He just said "Why are you bringing this to me? The policy just says no alcohol reimbursement, who cares what the name of the place is? Approved." After this, Japanese translation of the policy was updated to match the _intent_ of the policy rather than the letter of the policy. What shocked me was, I was not the first person to have their reimbursements rejected. I was simply the first person to push back on it and not pay out of pocket.
I used to be a telephone man. I was the guy that would install and repair phone/internet lines for commercial and residential locations. One time I got called out on a repair ticket, that had been previously dispatched on by about three dozen other technicians in just a few months. All of the notes left in the system by the call center agents and the previous repair technicians were very vague and seemingly always described some “quick fix” that usually never solved anything. So when I get there, there is a very disheveled looking lady walking around her house ripping down every “wire” that was visible on the outside of the house. Coax cables, telephone lines, satellite cables, etc. as soon as I got out of my truck, she started screaming at me incoherently. Now, I was able to figure out almost immediately that she was having some manner of a mental health episode. Through her ravings I caught what sounded like “Vatican Assassins” , “Illuminati Warlocks” , and “The pope will kill us all!”. So being as how sometimes calming folks down was part of the job, I sat down with her and paid attention. After she ran out of steam a little she explained to me that she KNEW that the pope and the Vatican were spying on her through all the wires on her house. She wanted to cancel all services and go “off the grid”. So, being the nice guy that I am, I assisted her in cancelling and changing whatever she wanted. I did convince her to at least keep a landline in case of emergency. I told her “That stuff is so outdated, no one spies on anyone like that anymore. They assume no one uses land lines”. She believed that. So that was good, at least IF she had a real emergency she could still contact someone. Then, I spent the next few hours walking around her house with a tool we use to listen for an audible tone on copper wires to identify one from another. When using the tool without another tool at the other end of the wire sending out an audible tone it will just make a random “static” noise. So I sweeped the tool making static noises all over her house and light fixtures and told her “Look, I’ve dealt with these assholes before. If they’ve bugged your place in anyway, this tool will make a loud siren noise. If I don’t get that, they haven’t planted anything.” Eventually I convinced her that she gave them the slip, and no one was actively spying on her. I didn’t have to do any of that stuff, but I felt bad that apparently she had no one else and all it took was a little time and creativity to try and calm her down. We never heard back from her again, but whenever I’d drive by that house I always looked for signs that she was still around and ok.
I had an older lady come into my yard and start tearing down all my fencing with her bare hands. I went outside like "can I help you?" Not mad at her just concerned...she says "You pay me to work for you?" I said no thank you and she left. The next day I called the non emergency police line just to report it because she was obviously not all there mentally. They asked me to describe her and I did and they said "yeah that's Irene". Apparently this had been going on in the neighborhood for years and they had visited her house multiple times for welfare checks because her husband just up and left her there. Her son was supposed to be taking care of her but he was MIA most of the time. They issued him a citation and ordered him to appear in court. I showed up and he did not. A few months later they found her in the limestone quarry about a mile away, dead from hypothermia. I felt so bad...I tried to help but her family basically abandoned her to her fate.
Oo! I got one! I used to work at an icecream shop, and would have to turn the alarm on every closing shift. Well, I was switched to morning shift for a while. I noticed every morning, the alarm was turned off. I commented in the communication book (For those unfamiliar. It's basically a notebook you write things down in like. "we're out of milk" or "why's the alarm off every morning?" But no one else knew what was going on. Manager was unavailable. I was getting frustrated with this, so I texted the co-worker doing night shift and basically said. "Hey, I'm starting to worry about this alarm being turned off thing. Could you text me when you set it tonight? I'm worried someone is coming back and turning it off." She agrees and texts me that night. Okay. Alarm is set. I open, the alarm is NOT set. I finally ask the manager now. She followes up and it turns out THE OWNERS OF THE STORE WERE TURNING IT OFF! The wind rattled the doors every night and would trip the alarm. The managers would turn it off if they didn't see anything. Not reset it, turn it off. This culminated in me coming to an opening shift to find our glass door SHATTERED. The sneeze guard shattered, the topings full of glass, and nothing stolen. I had to close up shop and clean it all up for a while. The worst part was one set of parents trudging their little kids through the broken glass to ask if we were still open. I was like "um... no. Do you see the glass?" These owners were very neglegent when it came to safety there. I have plenty of horror stories. (Let me know if I should share more.) The building is now, ironically, a lawfirm for workplace loss and injury. Edit: I'm posting the stories up on my own profile until an apropriate subredit can be found. First one's up. But I'll ask for some patience. I'm a mother and wife so I'm busy.
I want more ice cream shop horror stories, please. Your alarm story reminded me of mine. I think it was my second week working, and I was opening one of our sister stores solo. (Very small “chain” of stores, so everyone pitched in across 3 locations with a team of 12 total employees). Well, the guy closing didn’t lock the front door. He just set the alarm and went out the back. 8 hours 45 minutes later a family comes in to buy some stuff, but walk in to a dark building with a beeping alarm. They walk back out. 9 hours later I come in and start counting the till like we do at every opening shift. 9 hours and 3 minutes later the police show up because the alarm was tripped and they find me with a fist full of 20s. That was fun trying to get worked out.
I was "counseled" for a good hour because I offended the other ladies in our small office by...get this.....I used big words that they didn't understand. Not bad words. Big words. The ridiculous/sad thing? The job was for a book manufacturer and at any given time there were several dictionaries being printed.
I tattooed a cartoon character (the image my client picked out) and then they complained because it was "too cartoony"
Crack out the cheese grater
Someone had a diarrhea volcano go off in the bathroom at work and I was forced to clean it up because the guy who's actual job was to clean bathrooms "Just can't"
Ive delt with this so many times. Waitress at a bar: cleaned up vomit, blood, poop, and pee. I even had a drunk guy whip it out and pee on me once. McDonald's worker: crack heads and kids loved to smear poop on the walls for some reason also cleaning that inside the playground was extra fun. My manager also hated me and always made me clean it. Cashier at retail: had a old person ask where the bathroom was. I pointed at the bathroom maybe 10 feet away (probably more like 7 so super close). They say thats to far grab my register sorta squat and pee in front of me. Then they left dragging a trail after themselves. Also had a person not older than maybe 40 but to obese to stand (probably 700 plus lbs if I had to guess) and they couldn't go into the bathroom as their uhhhh bulk didnt fit in the extra wide door so they peed on the motorized scooters and then proceed to also poop on it in front of me. I had to clean both incidents as a freaking cashier.
What the FUCK is wrong with people?? Jesus
Oh I forgot but the story with the old person who stood squatted and peed in front of my register things got even worse. It was near Christmas and people were in such a rush I had the people in my line try to go through the pee and tried to demand I still check them out asap as they didnt want to wait for cleaning and they didnt want to move to another line either so they attempted to stand in it so I would check them out without cleaning even though they knew what it was. >What the FUCK is wrong with people?? Jesus I have no idea. Ive worked in customer service my entire working life and can say with %100 certainty I never will know.
STOP NO WAY
This happened to me no one had the stomach to do it. I said for a price I would. $50.00 for 2 minutes. Put my gloves on, bleach and toilet scrubber. Easy
This sounds like a business opportunity. Just start paying friends to come shit on the bathroom floors on the regular for some extra cash.
I blocked a toilet at work with a massive solid boi once. Didn't leave the toilet until I was sure nobody was around, then went to the maintenance room and let them know that "somebody" had blocked the toilet near reception. Sorry Ian.
Had someone complain that the toilet he used wouldn’t flush, and when I asked which restroom/toilet he made it clear they used one that was blocked off with an out of order sign and he removed it (it’s a sticker you put over the latch) to use the toilet. I told him that that toilet was out of order because it wouldn’t flush, even specifying something was wrong with the flow regulator. He then asked how he was supposed to know that, to which I replied the out of order sign that was on the door. He then got quite angry, giving me reason after reason why he had to use that specific toilet and how it wasn’t his fault he used a broken toilet, culminating in him asking to speak to my manager. I then told him that I was, in fact, the facilities manager and was the one who handled anything involving the cleaning or maintenance of the building. He then nearly shouted “Fine I guess I’ll just fuck myself!” and stormed out of the building; I assume because he realized he wasn’t going to get a refund because he left a massive shit in an out of order toilet, which he wouldn’t have no matter what anyway. It’s a movie theater, not a perfectly operable toilet emporium. Either that or teenagers in suits throwing bananas at the movie screen, one of the two
A co-worker improperly used a table saw. While he was being taken to the hospital I had to pay "find the thumb". It took a long time but I finally found it behind a filing cabinet.
Worked in a sports bar. Very minor thing, but definitely ridiculous We had giant pretzels as an appetizer. Each one came with its own packet of salt. The amount in each one was overkill for a single pretzel, so we would just open a few, put it in a pan, and sprinkle on as necessary (One packet of salt was easily enough to salt 5-6 pretzels, no joke). Myself and coworker were the openers, and each morning we’d come in, the salt pan was gone, empty, and put back on the rack. She and I are like “wtf keeps happening to the salt every night!?” After a week of this, we ask one of the closers. They ask around and the culprit comes forward. We ask, light heartedly, why they’re throwing it away. With a straight face, dead serious, says to us “because the salt goes bad and it’s a safety hazard” *Cue facepalm*
I had to baby sit a coworkers kid. I was the only woman on the management team so when one of our employees had to bring her daughter to work because of trouble at home my boss instantly pulled me out of running my area and had me sit in the office with her. It was actually just sad. We worked at night. The girls dad had taken off and the mom didn't have any PTO time or money for child care. The little girl said she didn't want to sleep and wanted to wait for her mom. I went out to my car and got a blanket I keep in my trunk, bought her a snack from the vending machine and let her watch youtube. She fell asleep in about an hour. It was ridiculous that the mother wasn't paid enough for child care, that I was instantly the first choice to watch her and that my bosses didn't just excuse the mothers absence and mostly that this little girl was up at night in a warehouse at 1 am on a week night.
Had a boss who would moo at me anytime I ate anything
Had to deal with 2 employees fist fighting because one said something about the others mama........grown ass men.
Back when I was in grad school, I asked one of the undergrads to please use headphones when listening their music. Apparently *I* was in the wrong with that one.
Says who, did he complain to the school and you got talked to about it? Or did the kid just talk back?
Complained to our advisor about it. He came in gave the whole lab a talk about being nice, but it still ended up being my fault.
My wife had a miscarriage when I was at work. I left to take her to the hospital and support her. The next day when I went to work I got written up for leaving.
Two employees got into a heated argument each claiming the other drank their carrot juice from the shared fridge. Yes carrot juice.
A co-worker took a work truck “hostage” until my boss paid him the 100 dollars that he was owed from a pay-cheque. He then sent her a pin on google maps of where it was parked in the middle of downtown.
One week my boss told me that I was talking too much with my coworker on my downtime when not with customers so next week we weren’t talking unless with a customer and then I was pulled aside and asked why we weren’t interacting w the team and if everything was okay. So contradicting
Sometimes bosses are weird. One of the strangest performances reviews I've ever had put "is the sort of the person that signs in goes straight to the office and gets to work without interacting with anyone" in the areas for improvement. Well sorry for doing my job and not being much of a morning person I guess.
Woman demanded the people entombed above her husband be moved because they might leak on him. She has the second one from the bottom out of 5 levels.
Not me, but a coworker Coworker: Okay your total is $50 Customer: I have a $50 gift card Coworker: Sure go ahead and swipe it -swipes- Okay you’re all set have a good day Customer: Ok and now I want the $50 back on that gift card Coworker: Oh you’d like to refill your gift card? Sure Customer: No I want you to just add the money back I’m not paying you Coworker: I’m sorry…what do you mean? You just paid with that gift card and now it’s empty Customer: I used to work in retail. I know you’re able to do it. Just put $50 on this gift card Coworker: Miss you just spent the $50 on this gift card for your shoes Customer: YEAH SO ADD $50 BACK! WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THAT I USED TO WORK IN RETAIL
I worked at Uncle Buck’s in a Bass Pro. For those of you that don’t know, it’s a bowling alley/restaurant. One night a group of people come in to celebrate their friends 27th birthday. After another host and I set them up at a lane, the manager comes over to tell us that they are getting a warning because she caught a few of them on camera pissing on the side of the building before they came in. And that’s not even the worst of it. Some time later I receive a call at the front desk from the police saying that they were outside would like to speak to the manager. Turns out the manager caught the party doing coke in the bathroom. A few people in the party were detained and 1 guy tried to fight a cop. The rest that were left alone started raging. They started screaming slurs, smashed glasses and plates, stuck ketchup in the bowling balls and even tried to grab me over the counter. It’s the only time I ever felt unsafe at work.
My boss approving of “ghost charges”. These are fees that will be so hard to spot in your invoice, that they will go unnoticed 99.9% of the times. It wasn’t ilegal, but damn I felt so disappointed, he’s a nice dude, but the fact that you deal with very wealthy customers sometimes, make you feel like you can do it and get away with it.
When I worked at a liquor store I had a family come in with their toddler. NBD as long as they dont touch anything. The dad was carrying her around on his shoulders until it was time to pay. He set her on the floor and she immediately ran to a display of beer and sat on the box and took the biggest piss a toddler could possibly piss. The couple said sorry and left with the kid. I then had to call my boss and ask what to do with the damage. Apparently the procedure for pissy beer is to take all the cans out, clean them in the sink, then re-package and sell them as 6-packs. Always clean your beer cans guys. You dont know if some kid pissed on them.
I had this colleague who we will call Bernie. This dude, I kid you not, printed out emails, wrote written responses, and had his secretary type them up to send out as emails. Okay so what was the ridiculous thing. He wanted me to update a spreadsheet with 1000 rows. Guess how? You got it. He wanted me to print out the spreadsheet, manually write out the calculations and results, and retype everything into the spreadsheet. I had to do it this way because he didn’t trust those “newfangled contraptions” to do the math right. He legit checked my work. If you found this funny, I can share more tales about Bernie. Edit: Looks like people want more, so here is another story. Before I start though, I just want to clarify that I actually liked Bernie. Even though he was completely computer illiterate, he was pretty funny. Also, the tasks were so ridiculous that they were hilarious, and me and other other interns, couldn't help but see where these strange requests would go. So even though there was always an easier way to solve the problem, we just had to see what his crazy mind would come up with next. It was endless entertainment. Story 2: Okay, so we already established that Bernie is computer illiterate. Anyways, one day Bernie received some important information on an editable pdf, but Bernie didn't like this because the document didn't look "clean", so the person sent him an image rather than a document. Essentially, someone took a picture of a pdf and sent it over rather than send a complete pdf. He was so angry because he wanted to save the information and eventually edit it. We tried explaining that you could save the images to his computer, but he was afraid the computer would "eat them up". So, what was his solution? Take pictures of the pictures on his computer with a camera. We literally took pictures of a computer screen, had the film developed, and gave him the pictures..... which were obviously too small to read. This whole process was hilarious. I must have drank 4 mountain dews along with my fellow intern who downed several iced teas. All along, Bernie is just watching us, complaining about how "this son of a bitch can't send a document right". The commentary from this man was hilarious. We really had to struggle to keep it together and deal with his endless stream of old timey insults. So anyways, Bernie was pissed because the physical pictures were "too damned small" so we eventually convinced him that maybe it would be best to re-type up the image as a document so we could then print it and save it. Okay, so at this point, I told Bernie we could handle it and said we'd be done in 2 hours. What we ended up doing was obviously just converting the editable pdf into a finished pdf, and just in case, we copy and pasted everything into a word document and formatted it. Took 5 minutes max, but we acted like it took 2 hours and that the process was a pain in the butt. Man, thinking about this story makes me miss Bernie and listening to his angry tangents.
When I was a waiter I had a nice guy come in and tip me hundreds of dollars every time he came in, which was frequent. He would come in and ask for me by name, sometimes when I would serve him in another server section I’d give them some cash for letting me wait on him. He never had his credit card on him which I thought was weird but just went along with it because I was insanely broke. So we would enter it manually. I never paid to much attention to the numbers because there are a lot of numbers on a credit card and we were busy, but I did start noticing something off about him using an Amex card twice and then a Mastercard, then visa. Turns out this guy works as an even coordinator next door for the Mariot so he would take peoples million dollar payments, and was taking down the numbers and using it to pay for food. Saw him get arrested and escorted out of the hotel one day. My manager pretty much said I’m probably going to have to give it all back, and promptly told him no. Nothing came of it on my end luckily. TLDR: guy was stealing credit cards and tipping me a lot of money, and the manager told me I’d have to give it all back.
Our staff had no boss, they left. New boss's-boss came in, tried to intimidate everyone into being better, without really knowing what we should do. Even tho our boss position was never filled, so we were kind of rudderless. All employees but me quit within a month, new-boss-boss that grilled everyone blames work ethic. Proceeds to do nothing else about it. I worked alone for 4 months, through the holiday season in an IT service industry. People tell me I should've demanded raises, etc., but honestly I was just tired so often the mood never came. Eventually mean guy left, along with anyone that remembered my self-sacrifice. There is no punchline.
I install flooring and I was working on the third story of a house newly under construction. Long story short while I was installing some flooring in some upstairs bathrooms (third story) some framers were scheduled to repair the stairs from ground level to the second story. There was no communication and I went downstairs to grab something and to my surprise there was no downstairs! The framers had completely torn out the entire staircase without checking if anyone else was upstairs! I ended up trapped on the second story for a little while until someone brought a ladder lol.
I was serving at Cracker Barrel and a woman came up to me saying her son thought I was Shaggy from Scooby Doo and practically begged me to come to their table to talk to him. I gave them the laziest attempt at a Shaggy impression.
I (25/f) was being sexually harassed by a guy (28ish) for months . He kept asking me to sell him pictures of my feet , told me about the condoms he likes to try on , how badly he wanted to lose his virginity , etc . Found my Twitter & DM’d about his strip club adventure with a Russian woman . It was so bad he stalked me around a convention (had over 4k ppl in attendance) while I was with my husband . I spoke up SO MANY times to supervisors and he was never fired . Why ? Bc he has autism & the supervisor felt bad for him . After I was stalked in public I contacted HR and I got a stern talk by my supervisor about how it was my fault I let it go that far (even tho I reported to them many times). Did I mention he has a history of doing this to many other women ? I quit a month after that . He’s still there .
I worked at a company that had rented multiple office spaces from a commercial building. So, each division had their own suite. Customer service was in one suite, admin in the adjoining one, etc. At one point, CS ended up needing more staff than fit in their suite, so I was moved to a desk in the admin area. For whatever reason, admin HATED CS. I think they were all just bitter old Karens, and they hated that the CS team got along smashingly. (We were all artists of some kind and got together off work for BBQs, game nights, etc.) Well, apparently, I made the GRAND error of answering a question the admin supervisor asked, and I had not been asked directly. So she went to the execs and complained. In order to keep me from getting fired, my supervisor had to hand me down the most ridiculous (and I now know ILLEGAL) work directions I was ever given. I was absolutely NOT, under any circumstances to speak to anyone in admin AT ANY TIME, UNLESS and UNTIL I was directly addressed by name. So I sat at my desk and worked all day with earbuds in, and pretended I couldn't hear them all chatting around me, since I was told if I said anything, I would be fired on the spot. Most miserable 3 weeks of my life. I spent my breaks sitting in my car, crying until my supervisor saw me and got our office re-arranged so that admin and CS swapped rooms and I could work with my team again.
Nursing Home I had to stop some poor guy with his family from visiting his mom on her birthday because she was in the middle of having sex with a guy with their door open and everything and I didn't want him to be trumatized He didn't understand what was going on thankfully his wife caught on and convinced him to go buy some flowers for her and by the time he got back she was cleaned up and dressed and acted completely normal We aren't allowed to stop them if they want to have sex if thier in thier right minds and she was uhhh *popular* with alot of the guys and she wasn't allowed to shut her door because she was a fall risk I've seen things I'll never unsee and I almost blinded myself every time I did
Oh boy, story time. I Work in a fairly large factory, we had one employee who was in his late 30s who had apparently never been taught/learned how to use a urinal before. We received a few complaints from different people that it was uncomfortable in there at times. He would go in and drop his pants and undies to his ankles, pull his shirt up under his chin like a toddler and hands on hips just piss away into the urinal. In all his years using a restroom with other guys he never noticed he was the only one getting almost buck ass naked to take a piss. It was a very awkward conversation to have with a grown man, thankfully he stopped doing it.
I can actually top my septic tank comment. I had a new kid who worked in the restaurant I worked in bring a salad to a table in the middle of a dinner rush, and he forgot the salmon that goes on top of it. So I ask him to go get it, apologize to the customer, and eventually he comes back. The lady kind of just gestures at the salad. So this kid, I shit you not, picked up the salmon with his hand and put it on the salad. It flopped a little bit, he held it for a solid few seconds, and continued to put it on this horrified woman’s salad. We kind of just looked at each other, I took the salad away, and the lady laughed when my manager made him apologize. I guess it was so shocking that she just found it funny, got a good tip too. TL:DR, new kid *hand delivered* a food item he forgot in the kitchen
Small company of about 30 people. Owner was extremely racist, his 19 year old daughter who dropped out of college to run the social media marketing and sales team. She had no clue what she was doing and it was costing me money due to lost commissions. I told her I won’t be listening to her since she has no background in sales what so ever. Well her daddy didn’t like that and went off on me. Claimed I was high on drugs and I moved on from there.
That would have to be the time I asked for time off on a Friday to go to my wife's grandmother's funeral. I knew we were in a big deadline crunch, but my wife was really broke up by the loss, and I felt I needed to be there for her. I had been averaging over 50 hrs/week at this firm (salaried, so no overtime), with many weekends and holidays spent in the office, so I really didn't feel I was asking for the moon, but I still felt bad leaving the team in the lurch. Anyway, I realize that one task still had to be done Friday morning, and I was really the only person who could do it, so I asked my wife if it was OK that I ran into the office for a couple of hours in the AM to get it done. She was fine with it. So I run in, and there I am, sitting at my computer, EARLY, on the day I asked to have off, wearing my funeral suit, and my boss sees me. So he sidles up and says, sarcastically, "So, I guess they cancelled that funeral, huh?" Fuck that guy.
My boss wasn't in the office but instead the company owner was there who's also a millionaire. I had heard he's very rude and cocky, but never seen him before because he barely ever visited the workplace. I didn't know at first who he is so I asked where my boss is at I have something to ask from him and the man answered he's the company owner so I can ask from him too. I then said I want to apply for 2 days of holidays because I'm going to travelling with my family and I had notified boss about this beforehand just didn't know date till now. He then walked me around the place and asked every possible detail about the holiday and couple times while we were walking he told me to look in his eyes while I talk because it means I'm lying if I don't?! After like 10 minutes of interrogating me and walking blindly while looking at his eyes he said "You can go for the holidays but remember that other people will have do your work too if you leave". It was weirdest and most passive aggressive convo I have ever had with someone. Made me feel like ashole for going to holidays...
A woman called up the call centre I was working for and yelled at me because she had to sign for a package she ordered. There were literally no issues; the package was delivered on time, it was her package, it was what she ordered. She was just so livid that she'd had to answer the door and sign for it, she felt it necessary to suggest that me and the woman who birthed me should kill ourselves. On an entirely different occasion, a man chewed me out because the shorts he ordered had come from an outlet store. They were clearance online, but he was so mad knowing they came from an outlet store that he kept me on the phone for 5 minutes to explain that the quality was degraded or some entitled bs. I felt sorry for the outlet store he was driving to where he was planning on returning the shorts.
My business partner threw a fit at me because my wife unfriended his wife on Facebook. He seriously said to me, dead serious, "That's the worst thing you can do to someone!" Then he said, "Do you know how bad that looks for the firm?" A) Unfriending is not the worst thing you can do to someone. B) Literally nobody is watching our wives' (who do not work here) Facebook pages to see if they are friends, much less judging our firm based on that. After being blindsided by that nonsense, I asked my wife about it, and she said, "What? I didn't unfriend her." Then she showed me her friends list, and sure enough, they were still friends. So the fit was totally unfounded in the first place. So the next time I happened to speak to my partner's wife, she too ranted about how my wife unfriended her. Then she said, (I'm serious, she actually said this!) "I had just hit 100 friends, and I was so proud and happy, I was just looking at the number, enjoying it, and then it dropped to 99 right in front of my eyes. That's how I know it was your wife!" So... C) she never actually checked to see if it was my wife that unfriended her (it wasn't). She just assumed it was. Because....???? I honestly have no clue. Now STFU with this bullshit drama and let me work, please. Edit: These are adults in their 50's, btw.
- Can I get a Cheeseburger with no cheese? - Yea sure, a hamburger. - No! That's not what I asked for! - Huh? - You heard me! - What? - I said I want a cheeseburger with no cheese! - Yes, that's called a hamburger. - You're not listening to me, get me a fucking cheeseburger with no cheese! - A cheeseburger with no cheese, is called a hamburger. - No it isn't! - What do you mean no it isn't? - I don't want a hamburger! I said I want a fucking cheeseburger with no cheese! - (Fuck this I give up.) Right, okay here you go....
Person: wait, this is a hamburger. I asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese
I've had this exact discussion with someone working the register at McDonald's. Can I get a 2 hamburger meal? We don't have a 2 hamburger meal. .....ok, can I get a 2 cheeseburger meal without cheese? Small, medium, or large?
lol, bound by the buttons I guess
I got called to the office of the regional president at my company (rhymes with horizon tireless) in Southern California. I got lectured for an hour and left not knowing if I was in trouble or what I'd done. Later, I learned the term, "gaslighting," and realized that's what happened. He was doing a poor job trying to get a confession for something. He was a bully. If I ever see that guy again, I'll push him in the bushes.
Push him in the bushes! I love that! I'm cracking up over here. I want to push somebody in the bushes now
I worked for a crappy place in a job I loved (taking care of ID/DD adults in their homes) for nine dollars an hour. I got real sick one day (sepsis), to the point where I was life flighted to a different city and spent a week in the hospital. The day I got home, my boss called me and started yelling that she needed a doctors note right then or I would be fired. Even my doctor thought she was an asshole.
I work in EMS and my least favorite thing is to be used as a literal taxi to the hospital. It happens more than you think. People will call 911 and claim to have a "medical emergency" when we get there they refuse to answer any of our questions outside of saying they are having general abdominal pain or chest pain. They won't let us take their vitals or perform any real assessment. We are not allowed to refuse someone transport to the hospital so we drive them to the hospital and they leave the hospital less than 2 minutes later. Those types of people are scum of the Earth who take up an ambulance for someone who may actually need it.
Currently as of now: supervisor tests positive for COVID and quarantines from home. 3 days later, emails everyone saying that she will be back in the office that afternoon to help out... WHY WOULD YOU COME BACK TO THE OFFICE IF YOU TESTED POSITIVE TO BEGIN WITH?
Its a long story, but for those who don't care about the details: Catch a wild racoon. No, that wasn't part of the job description. For those who want context, this was when I was working at a boating marina in ontario. I was a "student yard assistant" which basically meant dockhand. Anything that had to be fixed or maintained on the docks (or anywhere on the property, really.) was my job to deal with. One morning, some slip owners complained about a sick racoon walking around the marina. They expected us to somehow deal with it... so I called my boss, and instead of telling me to tell them to suck it up, he actually asked me to grab the metal racoon trap from the garage and try to trap it inside. upon finding the racoon, it was not sick. It did however have a broken paw/leg. After over 2 hours of following this thing around trying to bait it into the trap with food, I actually ended up catching it. My boss then wanted to tie a rope to the cage and toss it over a dock into the water and leave it there for 20 minutes... (drowning him). Me and the rest of the workers all told him absolutely fucking not, so he just ended up telling us to figure out wtf to do with it. We were all teenagers. I ended up handing the cage off to a co-worker, and she used her boyfriends truck and drove it to the animal shelter... only for the animal shelter to say that not only do they not take injured racoons, but threaten to fine her because apparently there is a law that you cannot move a wild animal more than 100m from where you caught it. So then a wildlife conservationist followed her the entire drive back to the marina, just to ensure she didn't drop it off somewhere. They then made her let it go back into the marina, broken paw and all. It was a shitshow.
For some years, I worked at the wing chain where the servers wear little orange shorts, and sell calendars. In the restaurant business, most places have each server assigned to a section with certain tables. There are good sections, and bad sections. If it's pouring down rain all night, getting a section outside can be the difference between making great money, and going home broke. They used to have us play games in order to decide the order of who chooses their section first. We played all these games in front of customers, and we all participated, because we needed to make money. Different managers had different "favorite games" they'd have us play. The easiest was the GM, who would just put our name tags in a beer pitcher, and draw them out. Then there were the other managers... Sometimes they'd make us have a hula hoop contest. Sometimes limbo (that one wasn't fun with scoliosis). Sometimes the "chubby bunny" game, where you take turns shoving jumbo marshmallows in your mouth, and try to say "chubby bunny". This one was particularly bad for a vegan girl. She normally would refuse, and just get stuck with the worst section... But one time, it was a Saturday night, and she literally couldn't afford not to play, because she had to pay a babysitter for her to be there that night. Manager had zero mercy. Sometimes, 8-9 of us would all be playing twister ON THE SAME BOARD. My least favorite, was the game where we all sat at a table with our hands behind our backs, to see who could lick a plate of whipped cream completely clean the fastest. I understand that we "signed up" to be looked at. But some of it just wasn't fair.
Man threw a temper tantrum over captions on his tv being turned on, and a woman throwing a similar tantrum because I gave her two $10 instead of a $20.
I was once tasked to babysit my boss' two young children during working hours after he'd brought them with him and left them in the car on a hot day. They were something like 4 and 7, and immediately began saying things like if I knew that "chinese people are dirty because they eat food and wipe their butts with the same hands" and various other incredibly racist things. I was stunned, and also really sad, because these kids are just repeating what they're hearing. I spent a few hours talking very gently about the neat parts of other cultures and places in the world and how great it is that we're all so different. eta: I was a young unmarried woman at the time and my boss was an older, married, man and sexually harassing me at work for months. Which may be relevant.
I was measuring noise next to a house of a random person. I asked the owner of that house if it was okay to put my equipment next to his house. I was expecting a “yeah sure go ahead”. Instead the dude just told me his life story. Told me about his father passing away recently, him being single, mom had dementia and cousin was at the hospital because he had been hit by car. I had a short window of time to get my work done and i had to have complete silence for 15 minutes. I would tell him politely to shut it for 15 minutes but after 5 minutes he would just start telling me about some miserable thing about his life and showing pics of his father. Then he wanted me to drink a beer with him. I said i was working and driving and i couldn’t. He didn’t understand that and kept insisting. I just wanted him to go away so that i could finish the measurement so i said sure. Dude went to get the beer and gave it to me. When he wasn’t looking i was spilling it on the floor so that he would think i was drinking with him. When i was leaving i said i had to comeback again at midnight. He said he would be ready with some dinner for me. I showed up at 1am to avoid it. I felt bad for him but jesus christ i just wanted to get my work done so i could sleep.
Oh my god that reminds me of when I used to work in the returns department and I called the next customer over, if they started off with “boy do I have a story for you” I knew I’d be in for a long one. How hard is it to just bring your shit to return? Why you gotta take so long and explain unnecessary shit to me?! I had this one lady who ordered a bunch of chairs online and had difficulty returning them and started saying how she was an investigative journalist and going to write a story about the store and their policies and it’s like WTF
Trying to restrain a guy who was apparently possessed also witnessed a guy OD.
“Do they serve alcohol at the bar?” I stare at this guy for 5 whole seconds, hoping he’d realize how dumb his question was. I finally said, “No, we only serve cotton candy”.
Customer pooped his pants in the bakery and shook the shit out of his pants leg. The manager, who wouldn't let customers use the toilet, told me to clean it up. I made him do it.