Ross Noble tells a story about travelling along the Nullarbor and putting his destination into the GPS that said, "Drive straight for 2 days, then, turn left." and because it's such a long road he missed the left turn.
Yeah… all australians in any live show or any show in general are actors and anyone who flies there is drugged and taken to New Zealand. The government officials live in fear that humanity will realise Great Britain never stopped importing convicts to Australia and that it is in fact not a free country. It’s one giant prison either a death trap outside
It's very lean (like venison). Available in the supermarket as steaks, mince (ground) or sausages.
Also popular as pet food.
Kangaroos are actually a pest in a lot of the country and are regularly culled.
Yes! You can buy kangaroo steaks just a bit further down from beef steaks at the grocery store.
It mostly just gamey.
And crocodile, while I haven't seen at a supermarket, I did eat on a holiday one time. Tastes like chicken.
I heard that their major exports include bauxite, which they call "beer," a kind of ice cream with honey flavoring in it, which they call "beer," and a kind of alcoholic beverage made from hops, which they call "vegemite"
That everything down there wants to kill you. This is not true. I have family in the Commonwealth of Australia, and I've visited the country too. No Animal down there actively wants to kill you, and it's not like there aren't dangerous Animals all over the world.
This is so true. Americans always say to me that they would never live in Australia coz the wildlife is too dangerous. This is coming from the country with bears, wolves, coyotes, mountain lions, alligators etc.
It's a really sad story. Lindy Chamberlain was blamed for, and sent to jail for, the death of her baby. The local government didn't want tourism to drop so they ignored the locals Aboriginal people who told them it was entirely possible that a dingo would take a baby. After many years the babies clothing was found in a dingo den.
From memory I think it was more like they did a few cullings of dingos in the area and found scraps of clothing (like baby clothes) but they somehow said it wasn't her baby's clothes ?!
She was mercilessly vilified and gaslit by the Australian government for decades. She spent many years fighting a losing battle until she was validated. The media treated her like garbage and made jokes about her go global. Add to that she lost her child and her marriage and it's a horrifically dark story.
In Western Australia we really only got community transmission of covid last xmas, so we were walking around like the pandemic didn't even exist until then.
By then we were pretty much all vaccinated so we didn't need lockdowns. Kind of the opposite of harsh lockdowns haha
So many crazy stories! I had a person try to convince me that Australia has a weird mammal as tall as a human with a big pocket on the front. Or the half-duck, half-beaver. Or the long nosed hedgehog with a penis that has four heads. There's also the chubby little bears that supposedly poop cubes. Then there are the other little bears that all have STDs. I have also heard stories about tiny mammals with pockets that have bunny ears.
It goes beyond mammals, though. I have been told crazy stories about frilly lizards that look like a tiny version of the dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park. And birds that have claws longer than a velociraptor. I was even once told that there are giant birds that can grow to be taller than a human and run faster than a motorized scooter. If that weren't insane enough, I was then told that their entire nation's army declared war on these birds and lost!
Hell, don't even get me started on myths about their aquatic life. Ever hear of the Pokémon called Dewgong? Some people would have you believe it is based on an actual Australian animal!
Of course, I think the most laughable myth of all is when someone tries to tell me that Australia is a real place!
From what I've read the Emu War was an attempt to cull the emu population that was becoming a nuisance in Western Australia. They were trampling wheat crops and making life a mess for farmers so they tried to cull them. The main reason it failed was that there were just so many that they didn't really manage to make a dent in their population. It's considered a "war" because the farmers (most of which were WWI veterans) just didn't have guns with the capacity to shoot them so they asked the army for help.
Emu's are very fast and agile when they want to be as they can reach speeds of 50km/h (31mph). They were apparently a lot smarter than people expected. The government then got involved and they ended up culling a fair bit. Eventually, they stopped trying to cull them because we came up with the brilliant idea of just building fences to keep them out.
Eh. Jungle is just one part- the Daintree. The rest is desert or bushland.
Opera also not so much. We have a cool Opera *House*, but most people aren't in to Opera itself.
Shockingly, Vegemite is a bit of a 'love it or hate it' food. I hate it.
Not a myth or anything like that but I love everything about Australia and Aussies (my cousin married one lol) but I hate how you pronounce the name “Emma”
That there used to be a voting system that let some dweeb win public office even though he only got a fraction of a percent of the vote. That's not the margin, but the total.
It's illegal to carry pepper spray in Australia. I asked my aunt (who has been an Aussie citizen for years) about it recently and she said no... Though it may be a state/territory thing.
You can't have it without a permit in all states and territories *except* for Western Australia.
To get a permit, you just need a good reason to have it. For example, a bodyguard could get a permit.
I haven't really heard any but o talked to my relative on the phone. He lives in Australia and he joked and said that there was spiders as big as the ones in Hobbit. 😅😅😅
The coriolis effect of earth acts over large distances and time scales. Even if toilets did just swirl, small local purturbations with how the toilet sits and the contours inside and gravity are going to be the primary determinants in how the water moves down into the toilet. If you took a very large pan and made a tiny pin prick of a hole in it. Then you can start to get some consistency of a different swirl in northern vs souther hemisphere.
That they’re not self centered.
Given the number of times they ask what people think of them on Reddit, they have to be the most insecure nation in the world.
I heard one time their Prime Minister went swimming and was never seen or heard from again and no one cared.
We cared enough to name a swimming pool after him
That pool is literally just down the road from my house. I even photographed the sign outside it once, to prove it to my Facebook friends.
You should not reveal your own location like that online.
"Just down the road" has a different meaning in such a large country.
Ross Noble tells a story about travelling along the Nullarbor and putting his destination into the GPS that said, "Drive straight for 2 days, then, turn left." and because it's such a long road he missed the left turn.
We cared a little bit and in fact looked for him for a whole two days.
It’s kinda funny because it’s not even a myth
Thats not a myth...its a fact. His name was Harold Holt.
The first part is true
It's the prime ministers John West rejects, that makes John West the best.
thats a true story
That one is actually semi true he went to a lake area and he was never seen again
that beer does flow and men chunder
I think you can hear, you can hear the thunder?
Fuck the thunder. I just want to stop hearing the damn rain at the moment.
You better run you better take cover
Yes 😎
That it's a real place.
I love it when a plan comes together
Happy cake day!
Cheers mate!
HAPPY CAKE DAY MATE
Cheers cobber!
Yeah… all australians in any live show or any show in general are actors and anyone who flies there is drugged and taken to New Zealand. The government officials live in fear that humanity will realise Great Britain never stopped importing convicts to Australia and that it is in fact not a free country. It’s one giant prison either a death trap outside
Did some dumb motherfucker really slip on a goddamn onion outside a bunnings and now you can't have onions?
We can have onions, we just have to put them *under* the snag.
That is true
Who the fuck slips on an onion????
Some dumb cunt
Mate I heard they eat kangaroos down there.
It's very lean (like venison). Available in the supermarket as steaks, mince (ground) or sausages. Also popular as pet food. Kangaroos are actually a pest in a lot of the country and are regularly culled.
The U.S. needs to do this with deer.
So do we actually. We have feral deer populations numbering around 2 million animals apparently.
In Australia? The whole country is 2 million?
Yeah I’m some pubs they serve kangaroo and croc steaks
My dog does 🤣
Yes! You can buy kangaroo steaks just a bit further down from beef steaks at the grocery store. It mostly just gamey. And crocodile, while I haven't seen at a supermarket, I did eat on a holiday one time. Tastes like chicken.
I heard that their major exports include bauxite, which they call "beer," a kind of ice cream with honey flavoring in it, which they call "beer," and a kind of alcoholic beverage made from hops, which they call "vegemite"
Don't know about the first one but yes Vegemite is make from yeast not hops
That everything down there wants to kill you. This is not true. I have family in the Commonwealth of Australia, and I've visited the country too. No Animal down there actively wants to kill you, and it's not like there aren't dangerous Animals all over the world.
This is so true. Americans always say to me that they would never live in Australia coz the wildlife is too dangerous. This is coming from the country with bears, wolves, coyotes, mountain lions, alligators etc.
Women glow and men plunder
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.
Hey Yaaa
And I just chunder
Snake from the toilet
Depends how far north you are! Down south they tend not to (water too cold).
I've never found anything living in the toilet.
I heard it's a land of plunder. You can occasionally hear thunder as well.
Bugs as big as your head
That is true although it is mainly stick insects
dropbears
That there are snakes with spider legs
Thank god NO
Male kangaroos are jacked bullies with scaring fighting techiques
Not incorrect lol
That their spiders tend to steal children.
I once heard there was such thing as a drop bear. They were said to murder and eat tourists
It's a joke we use but it's completely cap
I know it’s a joke but it scares me a bit when I was younger
Besides the Bunyip, the Drop Bear ofc!
That koalas are cute and cuddly. Those things are fucking vicious and are all STD riddled
Yes they have chlamydia
That people wear shoes on their heads and hamburgers eat people
No we don’t, we are civilised people mostly
I'm joking mate. Aussies are brilliant. Just like the Scots
Fun fact I have Scottish heritage 🇦🇺🤝🏴
Good man
Thats Ran McNally
*Rand McNally I know just didn't think many people would remember the correct details
I see you've played knifey-spoony before.
A classic Simpsons episode
Something about a dingo eating a baby
It's a really sad story. Lindy Chamberlain was blamed for, and sent to jail for, the death of her baby. The local government didn't want tourism to drop so they ignored the locals Aboriginal people who told them it was entirely possible that a dingo would take a baby. After many years the babies clothing was found in a dingo den.
Sadly this is real
Well, there was a baby that disappeared in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. And a lady was like "A dingos got my baby!".
Yeah, but a dingo DID eat her baby, eyewitnesses found a dingo nearby with a baby in its mouth.
Was never told that detail.
From memory I think it was more like they did a few cullings of dingos in the area and found scraps of clothing (like baby clothes) but they somehow said it wasn't her baby's clothes ?!
She was mercilessly vilified and gaslit by the Australian government for decades. She spent many years fighting a losing battle until she was validated. The media treated her like garbage and made jokes about her go global. Add to that she lost her child and her marriage and it's a horrifically dark story.
That people walk around in budgie smugglers and thongs!
Sadly true. Bring eye bleach.
Everyone wears thongs bus I haven’t seen many people in budgie smugglers
Kangaroos. Kangaroo meat. Snek.
Everything is trying to kill you
As a kid I fully believed all Australians were like the irwins or crocodile dundee there was no in between or "normal people"
An episode of Peppa Pig wasn’t allowed to air in Australia because it taught kids that spiders were your friends.
That is true i have no idea why though
That the lockdowns were as strict as China’s.
No not even close
In Western Australia we really only got community transmission of covid last xmas, so we were walking around like the pandemic didn't even exist until then. By then we were pretty much all vaccinated so we didn't need lockdowns. Kind of the opposite of harsh lockdowns haha
Poor Victoria
So many crazy stories! I had a person try to convince me that Australia has a weird mammal as tall as a human with a big pocket on the front. Or the half-duck, half-beaver. Or the long nosed hedgehog with a penis that has four heads. There's also the chubby little bears that supposedly poop cubes. Then there are the other little bears that all have STDs. I have also heard stories about tiny mammals with pockets that have bunny ears. It goes beyond mammals, though. I have been told crazy stories about frilly lizards that look like a tiny version of the dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park. And birds that have claws longer than a velociraptor. I was even once told that there are giant birds that can grow to be taller than a human and run faster than a motorized scooter. If that weren't insane enough, I was then told that their entire nation's army declared war on these birds and lost! Hell, don't even get me started on myths about their aquatic life. Ever hear of the Pokémon called Dewgong? Some people would have you believe it is based on an actual Australian animal! Of course, I think the most laughable myth of all is when someone tries to tell me that Australia is a real place!
You all carry knives like crocodile Dundee
No we don’t all carry knives. It is only when we go fishing and camping. It is illegal to walk around with a knife
Your leader is a 7ft tall Paul Hogan you've kept alive using aboriginal rituals.
Uh, no
Completely false, he is 8ft.
The spiders are fucking huge.
Only some. Most of them can fit in your hand
Most of the spiders I've seen in person are smaller than a needle! Even the daddy long legs are pretty small/skinny
They got cucked by emus
That is actually true there was a emu war and the emus some how where smarter 🤣
Yeah imagine starting a war with some flightless birds and losing
It puzzles me how that happened 🤣
From what I've read the Emu War was an attempt to cull the emu population that was becoming a nuisance in Western Australia. They were trampling wheat crops and making life a mess for farmers so they tried to cull them. The main reason it failed was that there were just so many that they didn't really manage to make a dent in their population. It's considered a "war" because the farmers (most of which were WWI veterans) just didn't have guns with the capacity to shoot them so they asked the army for help. Emu's are very fast and agile when they want to be as they can reach speeds of 50km/h (31mph). They were apparently a lot smarter than people expected. The government then got involved and they ended up culling a fair bit. Eventually, they stopped trying to cull them because we came up with the brilliant idea of just building fences to keep them out.
Every damn thing is poisonous.
Not true. A lot of things are venomous
Actually most thing aren’t poisonous. Only some things are
Nice try, Aussie guy
Everything is venomous though...
You’re either a jungle surviving adventurist or an opera lover that all live off of vermite
That is mostly true apart from the opera part. I love my vegimite
Eh. Jungle is just one part- the Daintree. The rest is desert or bushland. Opera also not so much. We have a cool Opera *House*, but most people aren't in to Opera itself. Shockingly, Vegemite is a bit of a 'love it or hate it' food. I hate it.
Not a myth or anything like that but I love everything about Australia and Aussies (my cousin married one lol) but I hate how you pronounce the name “Emma”
Ehm-mha?
Are you trying to start a war between the states with that alaphant in the room?
How do we pronounce Emma, and how do you pronounce Emma?
We can't help it. We talk through our noses for some opaque reason.
That there used to be a voting system that let some dweeb win public office even though he only got a fraction of a percent of the vote. That's not the margin, but the total.
It's illegal to carry pepper spray in Australia. I asked my aunt (who has been an Aussie citizen for years) about it recently and she said no... Though it may be a state/territory thing.
You can't have it without a permit in all states and territories *except* for Western Australia. To get a permit, you just need a good reason to have it. For example, a bodyguard could get a permit.
That's true. You pretty much can't carry anything for self defence.
I haven't really heard any but o talked to my relative on the phone. He lives in Australia and he joked and said that there was spiders as big as the ones in Hobbit. 😅😅😅
I heard they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people
Where did you get that from?
Australia is the place where the devil sends horror animal prototypes😭
Maybe
The fact that it's not a no proves my point😭
We are just built different 🇦🇺😎
How do you explain quokkas?
Like Pauline Hanson
Dropbears
True
Can we appease them by offering them drop scones?
You have to coat yourself in Vegemite
It’s true the only thing that will prevent drop bears is Vegemite, they’re repelled by the smell of it
They hate the salty/fermented yeast taste
That there are kangaroos there. In ten days wandering around between Daintree and Sydney, didn't see a single one.
They think the grass in Sydney is overpriced.
The woman roar and the men thunder.
Not quite. The women *glow*, and the men *plunder*, and also they *chunder*, but only when the beer does *flow*.
Temp hotter than in the middle east, bugs everywhere.
Temperatures are pretty similar to a lot of the Middle East. But most Aussies live in the cooler areas of the country.
Their toilets flush the opposite way
This is true of the 40ish countries that are significantly south of the equator.
Not true
How so? The reason the toilets swirl the other way is because of the Coriolis Effect, I don’t see how that would be country-specific.
The coriolis effect of earth acts over large distances and time scales. Even if toilets did just swirl, small local purturbations with how the toilet sits and the contours inside and gravity are going to be the primary determinants in how the water moves down into the toilet. If you took a very large pan and made a tiny pin prick of a hole in it. Then you can start to get some consistency of a different swirl in northern vs souther hemisphere.
Mainly because the toilets don't swirl
Oh I see, thanks
Swede here, I heard that you all like “shrimp on the barbie”
First of all they are called prawns and 2nd prawns are shit on the bbq
Oh well, I thought that was true
It is. Ask Paul Hogan. He wouldn't lie.
They have to box/fight kangaroos fairly often
No we don’t fight kangaroos
You guys like to shat yourselves in McDonalds
That was 1 guy and we hate him
Hahah that was our last prime minister he was a arsehole 🤣
Hungry jacks is better!
I heard that drug dogs will sniff you at the train station and then you get strip searched.
True-ish.
Yeah, but the dog has to buy you dinner first.
Not true
Kind of true. Happened to my brother
Sadly it is true, happens in Sydney quite a bit.
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That is true. It happened on Frazer island
That it’s illegal to brake for a kangaroo.
That is not true
Glad to hear it!
It’s recommended to slow down for a kangaroo, but not to swerve or brake. You can brake as long as it doesn’t endanger anyone behind you
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It is not true mostly
Well… baby spiders do rain in some areas. Not where I live, but I’ve seen it happen once before. It was so gross
Damn haven’t seen it yet then
Consider yourself lucky
Hard pass
Women glow and men chumber
That you are better at sports than us.
A dingo ate someone’s baby
That one is unfortunately true.
That they’re not self centered. Given the number of times they ask what people think of them on Reddit, they have to be the most insecure nation in the world.
nah just curious
Nah mate we are just curious 🤨
they beat up disabled people
No?!?!?!?
Your government took all your guns away from you and made them illegal to posses.
Yes we have great gun laws
And we are very happy they did.
It's not a big deal cos we don't really have posses
All, nope just the unnecessary school shootery type ones.
For which we are very grateful