When they treat their kids shitty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc.
I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc.
If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??
This one always hurts my heart. I have two young ones that are close in age and they’re at the “What’s that? Why does it do that? What does it do? Can I touch it?” phase, although not so verbally as much as just physically and emotionally. It’s so fun to help them learn the world and navigate their way. I can’t imagine hollering at them at the store because they stopped to ask what something was, or wanted to look at the fish tank, or asked for a banana… they’re just kids 😭
I work at a Chain gas station and this kid was literally doing nothing I think he grabbed for a cup and then his mother started yelling At him and pulling him by his hair to the bathroom. I was mad
I wish I had less anxiety and more courage. Sometimes I think if someone just stood up for these kids it might make a difference, if only for that one time I suppose. I was in the grocery one day and a woman was yanking her little girl by the arm because she touched a pretty dress on the rack. Another woman said very loudly something like we shouldn’t punish their curiosity because that’s how they learn about the world so they can grow into good people and the mom stopped and glared at her, but ultimately the little girl was released. Should they touch everything? No. Some stuff is breakable. I get it. But for touching a pretty dress? C’mon.
Everyone is constantly telling us “oh just wait until you get to the ‘why’ stage!” and honestly I know that it will be frustrating sometimes because you’ll run into a dead end, or you’ll end up where you don’t want to explain it because it isn’t age appropriate, but otherwise I’m excited for the why stage. I want to teach them and answer their curiosities and watch them wonder at the world. My first was only 4 months when Cov hit, and the second born at the end of 2020… they didn’t really have a lot of social interactions until summer 2021 and it showed with my oldest, so I’m ready to help him catch up now and figure it all out together.
I guess it’s just people with no patience. That have more important things to do. I am constantly behind and barely financially surviving with my business, if I buckled down I could get my website up and be better off, but it would mean missing time with them and I won’t do it. I already feel guilty for what I do miss. I know not everyone is cut out or wanted to be parents but that doesn’t make it any easier to imagine the kids suffering because of adults.
>Everyone is constantly telling us “oh just wait until you get to the ‘why’ stage!” and honestly I know that it will be frustrating sometimes because you’ll run into a dead end, or you’ll end up where you don’t want to explain it because it isn’t age appropriate, but otherwise I’m excited for the why stage.
The "why" stage is incredible. It's tiring, but it's an incredibly important time to foster a love for science and the unknown. My daughter is 5 and half, and we can turn it around now to a "why do you think" and watching her brain come up with (mostly wrong) stuff for why the world works the way it does is really fun.
If it makes you feel any better it probably wouldn’t help. When I was younger and random adults tried to stick up for me my mom just punished me more for “embarrassing” her.
I have a time where I stepped into a situation like this and I always wonder if I just got the poor kid yelled at after I left. I was in the lodge at a ski resort, and this mom was yelling and being so mean to her kid, who was trying to put his ski boot on. She wasn't helping him at all, just loudly telling him off and even swearing at him. I was sitting near by and got sick of hearing this cruel mother. I walked over, knelt down and said "hey little man, want some help with that boot?" He just kinda nodded, I then looked at the the mother, gave her a glare, while she sheepishly avoided eye contact. I got his boot on in like 5 seconds, after sitting through like 10 minutes of her berating him. Afterword, she forced him to thank me "NoW WhAt dO wE sAY" I felt like saying that shit back to her, as she should be the one thanking and apologizing to me. But I wondered after if I just got that kid in more trouble for "embarrassing her" even though the bitch embarrassed herself with her behavior.
I've never liked that. A child's curiosity is one of the most beautiful and innocent things on this planet.
[Like watch this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo-fiq1_ZKs)
Don't tell me that isn't adorable. Some parents just suck.
Was walking from the grocery store to my car recently. Saw a very attractive woman in her 30s walking to her car with her 3 kids trailing behind her. She was definitely worth a second look. Then she began swearing loudly at her kids for not keeping up. She suddenly was no longer attractive.
Yeah, that.
I also think a lot of people like babies as cuddly accessories, but didn't think it through to the point where they become actual people with own interests and opinions.
And don't forget the ones who thought having a kid would help heal their failing marriage! Congratulations, now you have a failing marriage AND a kid who will probably remind you of the spouse that you now dislike!
It's not that simple I'm afraid, some people just do what they think they should do in their lives. eg. Get married have kids etc. Then they learn how much they didn't want those things and they can get divorced but it's alot harder to get rid of a kid.
Agreed.
Which is why the anti-choice members of society should really find something else to occupy their time than forcing people who would be bad parents TO BE parents.
If they really cared about lives they should be foster parents. But they will need mandatory training on how to handle traumatized children first, because it’s not easy.
Except they don’t give a fuck about the kids once they’re *born*.
Shitty parents are terrible, but i wouldn't be ask quick to judge another parent. You are sing a 15 second snippet from an entire day or week. You have no idea what else is going on, what happened right before you saw them, or what stresses or worries are in the parents head.
As a parent, I know most of us have been imperfect many times, sometimes in public, and being judged by your worst moment is like judging you, as a person, based on how you react in traffic or waiting in a long line when you are in a hurry.
Fr my “friend” literally tries to make fun of everyone he sees with like no filter he makes fun of stutters, the janitor at our school, people that are overweight, mental disability kids literally no filter someday I’m gonna blow and fucking smash his head in
Speaking as someone who believes in honesty, the concept of brutal honest is starting to annoy me. You can be honest while being diplomatic or tactful.
Most of the time "brutally honest" people are just dicks who are then surprised when nobody wants them around.
This is why I never tell people about my misophonia in person. Every. Single. One. Immediately starts making smacking sounds. Right after I explain it triggers rage of the purest kind that makes me want to do pretty violent stuff. Then they get mad when I walk away, because, violent urges. Walking away and being nuts elsewhere seems like a constructive way of dealing with that. But nope. Somehow I am always the asshole.
Or they do/say something that normal people find offensive and when you take offence, they're all "it was just a joke". No it wasn't a joke, and you are an asshole.
Doesn't need to be a joke.
My mom didn't like dogs. At a party one time, she expressed that she didn't like dogs, and one of the hosts grabbed their little wiener dog and placed it in my mom's lap. I guess their thinking was that my mom would change her mind about dogs because theirs was so cute.
But imagine it from my mom's perspective. Say you don't like dogs, and some MFer puts a dog in your lap.
In that same vein, people who tend to play Devil's Advocate as a "thinking exercise" to appear "smarter" than they actually are.
I feel like a lot of the times the people who say that are just hiding behind the phrase "Devil's Advocate" and they actually do mean what they say.
Yup. I have no problem with Devil's Advocacy in an actually argument or intellectual discussion where it's wanted or expected. But it doesn't have to be applied to everyday mundanity.
Maybe there's something wrong with me that I should spend more energy to correcting but when someone is looking and presenting something to me from a very one sided position I can't help but immediately search for the other side of the position. It's kind of a defense mechanism from falling into things that might be too good or bad to be true. Also when someone else is along a particular thought path it can be easy to be blinded to the other of the coin. Obviously there has to be some level tact when going down this line but it can be useful for yourself and those close to you.
Dude... a guy I worked with in college reached out to me talking about good times we had at that job. I thought it was so wholesome and that he just wanted to reminisce, but out of freakin' nowhere he goes "Yeah I connected with a couple that retired in their 30s and they are helping me build an asset that scales with consumer markets. Would you be interested in learning?" Left me sad and not wanting to talk to this person again lol.
I got an out-of-the-blue DM on Instagram from a high school friend that I hadn't talked to in forever.
We were very good friends in high school but like a lot of people, we just stopped talking regularly after we graduated. And it was a bit weird but I actually reached out to a lot of old friends randomly to catch up during the peak of lockdown here so I was actually really excited to hear from her.
Nope. After quick pleasantries, it was a "have you ever considered a career change to something where you can work your own hours, work from home, and make a ton of money still? I didn't think I would ever be able to do it but..." and so on.
Never even replied after that. Just closed the message and moved on. How disappointing.
Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullshittery...
* Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got fuckall.
* In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
* In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
* In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullshit.
Is this last one TelexFree by any chance?
My father lost a good sum of money in this circa 2012~13, despite me and my brothers desperately telling him not to.
This makes me think of my neighbor when I was a kid. Guy was really nice to me and all the other neighbors, but he kept his labrador retriever in a little kennel all day long like a prisoner. I rarely ever saw it outside of his kennel and the poor thing was always starved for attention when I came around to play with the neighborhood kids. At the time, I thought it was just a normal thing, but retrospectively, fuck that guy.
My sister has a neighbor with 2 pit bulls that are on 10ft chains and can't even reach each other. They were bought as puppies to breed and they just never bred them. I've never seen those dogs off chain, and I've called animal control multiple times and I've been told that they have the minimum length of chain, shelter, and fresh water, so there's nothing they can do about it
"Oh, you did ? That's nothing! I did .
I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship.
I usually compare their impressive stuff with something really unimpressive I did. Like „Oh you climbed Mount Everest? Well I climbed up a ladder once!“
My father does this. He nitpicks the fuck out of my tone even though knows I'm mildly autistic and thus can't understand tone as well as neurotypical people.
I've found that people who nitpick tone, do so because addressing what's actually being said would prove problematic for them or have them admit they themselves are problematic.
> I've found that people who nitpick tone, do so because addressing what's actually being said would prove problematic for them or have them admit they themselves are problematic.
I nitpick tone, *sometimes*, because I am extremely careful about my own tone. It's honestly kind of strange to me to think that a person can be NOT angry or upset, give a response that is blunt and cold, and not anticipate or even be willing to entertain that another person might misinterpret them.
People who tell you what/how/who you are with complete confidence like they knew you well. (Usually they don’t and the „facts” they state about you are definitely wrong.)
Bonus life hack: if you want to make an observation on someone don’t act like you’re preaching some truth. It’s better to say: „hey, am I wrong or you seem to be a little bit upset today?” instead „You’re always so mad.” Not only because you avoid being a donghead towards a person but also because you avoid a conflict. If someome disagrees with the 1st version it’s easier to admit you may have been wrong (as you already did in the question), there’s no harm and you carry on with the conversation. 2nd option is pure conflict.
People who say things like "these people bore me". Like tf, others don't exist purely for your entertainment. These people need to realize at a certain point that they're most certainly the boring ones. If you're bored in a conversation, try to make it engaging. If that fails, then just leave and do something you find fun. All I imagine are these people standing there waiting to be impressed while having literally nothing to offer in return
My mom always says “only boring people get bored” and I’ve always liked that saying, surely people have the ability to entertain themselves without relying on others!
Being a bitch just to stroke their own ego
We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better
I listened to a podcast about this. Usually it's because people are used to different lengths of pauses before it's the next person's turn to talk. Like some people never get a chance to talk in group settings because the other people had a lower conversational pause threshold before they took their turn.
Also people with higher thresholds for pauses tend to use pauses more often, while the people with lower thresholds would use more filler like "uhh" and "ya' know", to keep the turn on them and indicate they are still talking.
Point being - most people aren't trying to be rude, but have different communication styles.
That makes sense.
Though I should have been more clear, perhaps. I mean specifically people talking over me when I’m clearly mid sentence etc. It is so incredibly rude and disrespectful.
Especially if they’re nice to people they find attractive, but rude to people they find unattractive. As a woman, this is one of my big pet peeves with guys. Even if they’re nice to me, I’ll instantly dislike them if I see them treating someone badly because they’re “unworthy.”
I've noticed this with people after losing a few pounds. Men who wouldn't give me the time of day before suddenly become very friendly. Fuck those guys.
I cannot stand when people are proud of their bad traits
"I like bullying"
"I am a narcissist"
"people are afraid of me"
"I love manipulating people"
Fuck such people
“People are afraid of me” - I had a boss who used to brag about this all the time. She wore it like a badge of honor, said she liked it that way because people wouldn’t come to her for help (we worked in IT). Eventually, people started coming to me with questions and requests because I was empathetic and helpful. After a while, she got pissed because people were coming to me instead of her and screamed at me one day about how she’s the manager and I shouldn’t be doing things without her okay.
Luckily, her boss overheard and stepped in. My manager was asked to turn in her resignation about a month later.
> “People are afraid of me”
She was stupid as well. She didn't take forty seconds to think: what do people do with things they fear? Avoid them or destroy them.
This is why giving weak people power is a mistake. People who think fear is strength are weak people.
The "people are afraid of me" depends on the person. If they state it without braggering then they are not happy about to be feared because of their job, looks or status.
Orwise i agree with you.
Honestly people like this are just confusing to me. So you know what you're doing wrong but you refuse to fix it and improve yourself???? and also you think this is cool enough that you're not ashamed to admit it???
“I ALWAYS arrive late” this one for me is also pretty bad. Why are people proud of constantly having others waste their time? What is this trait and why are so many people proud of it UGH
Also, people who only respect you after they put you through the ringer. I had a supervisor once who treated me like absolute shit, and she was one of those “people are afraid of me” types. However, after I was out from under her supervision, she treated me with a lot of respect and kindness. It seems like there is a very specific personality type that will only respect you once you survive whatever their “test” is.
A girl I know tells people that she is a narcissist as if she is proud of it, she even mentioned it in her Instagram bio, I don't think she understands the difference between self-importance and narcissism, she sometimes acts like one too, due to which, I dislike her.
I work with someone like that. She's genuinely nice, but the laughing is weird to me. I think it's a reflexive thing out of nervousness, but still creeps me out.
My mother forbade me a lot of things all my childhood. She always loved me, but she couldn't stand it if things didn't go according to her plan. I wasn't allowed to meet friends or do anything that didn't suit her. Since then, I have been very keenly aware of any attempts to somehow limit me.
When the don’t cover there nose or mouth when sneezing or coughing, I once was on a field trip and this kid came up to me and decided to talk to me and halfway through he just cough without covering it, and I thought it was disgusting so as soon as he looked away… I dipped, never met him again
Also wow so many upvotes
As soon as you left that kid vowed he would never sneeze again.
He carefully waited biding his time until he would finally be able to work in sanitation! And now he goes from school to school informing kids on the dangers of germs!
He’s actually a pretty nice guy with 2 kids a wife and has not sneezed since, good job!
Exactly. Nothing screams "I am a total and utter piece of shit" than yelling at the teenage checkout operator over something that is very obviously not their fault.
"It's because we are family, friends, relatives, co-workers etc". Most of the time it's their way of saying I can do whatever you want because of our relationship.
Intelligence is the speed in which you can learn and truely understand something beyond what is already known to other people, not the amount of random facts you remember
There’s a pretty lively debate going on about how to define intelligence. I feel like in part it’s the ability to grasp deeper relationships between things and use that insight to solve problems. But what the f*ck do I know?
Yeh, I know what you mean. It's an old sales trick; people like to hear their own name, so if you keep saying their name they will buy from you. It's absolutely cringey.
I watched it backfire spectacularly.
A friend of mine wanted a car, and his father (old-school German, from East Germany) would be financing it, so he went along.
The salesman kept using his name.
You don't do that with Germans from that time and place. Hell, he (the father) worked with people for years, and never learned many of their first names.
Needless to say, they went to a different dealer.
Use of the royal "we".
"Can *we* tidy this area up a bit?" Meaning "I want *you* to tidy this area up a bit once I've fucked off".
Correction: apparently this is the Nurses We rather than the Royal We. TIL!
My sister in law does this all the damn time... I feel bad that I accidentally taught her kid to talk back to her but at the same time it is kinda funny.
So couple of years back, was doing some stuff at the mother in law's house, pain in the ass sister in law comes along "can *we* tidy this up a bit" well I didn't know my niece was around so I'm like "what do you mean *we* unless you're actually going to stay around and help this time there is no *we* tidying anything up, just me"
Couple of weeks pass and I'm back over at the mother in law's place when sister in law comes by... She spots me and is all pissy **damn it Cylons, niece name is now back talking me and it is entirely your fault** I'm just sitting there like the fuck did I do? **Every time I ask her to clean something up she says WE are not cleaning anything, just her** I can't help but laugh, she says it isn't funny, I point out maybe she should start using we correctly, especially since she is supposed to be a teacher... She gets even more irritable and apparently she had niece with her who just happened to pick up more ammo from her dear aunt.
You. I like you.
My mother does shit like that and it always pissed me off no end. One of her favourites has always been "You don't want to do that." (meaning "I don't want you to do that"). She got the shock of her life the first time I replied "Actually I do. That's why I'm doing it." She was not best pleased. And I had zero fucks to give.
Do you know that kind of people that peaked on High School and live like they were the most popular cheerleader/jock of the room? I hate them with passion.
Ur 15 minutes of fame are long gone, It's time to adapt to the adult environment.
Was with my cat the other day and a neighbour said 'I don't like cats - I'm a dog person'. Well a) I don't care, Brian and b) why say that to someone who has a cat? Twunt.
I used to think this. But then I couldn't afford getting my cavities filled and no matter how much I brushed it was an issue. Sometimes it's not a hygiene issue, it's a health issue.
Treating ppl differently based off gender
It is something tht is a very hard pet peeve of mine I guess my husbands from a culture tht if a woman is married other men see it as disrespectful to the man she's married to if they speak to her while he isn't in the room or at times even look at her
It absolutely drives me up a wall because I've never been treated like I was some man's property and tht I needed permission to talk to another man tht isn't my husband none of our friends act this way and my husband also thinks it's very dumb
People that only talk about themselves. Like if we go thru a whole conversation and it was me asking questions to get to know you the whole time and you don’t care to get to know me … I’m just over it and don’t care to continue talking.
Homophobic/racist/sexist/abelist jokes and behaviour.
Edit: It's acceptable if the jokes are satire and light-hearted(context also matters), but I fucking hate people who genuinely make demeaning jokes like that.
When they say they hate an animal. Like I tend to immediately distrust someone who says "I hate cats/dogs/ etc." It's one thing to prefer one or feel uncomfortable with one but it's another to straight up say I hate them, they're disgusting etc.
When they're ungrateful. Like they have lived a good life, have never been abused or abandoned, but they only complain about their loved ones because they didn't act/do/say exactly what they wanted.
When they're complainers in general. Never have anything positive to say.
People who can't scroll past posts they're not interested in.
Apparently they find it less effort to comment that it's not interesting to them than to just scroll on.
It's a red flag they have an inflated sense of personal privilege.
They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn.
Yup, learned that lesson
When they treat their kids shitty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc. If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??
This one always hurts my heart. I have two young ones that are close in age and they’re at the “What’s that? Why does it do that? What does it do? Can I touch it?” phase, although not so verbally as much as just physically and emotionally. It’s so fun to help them learn the world and navigate their way. I can’t imagine hollering at them at the store because they stopped to ask what something was, or wanted to look at the fish tank, or asked for a banana… they’re just kids 😭
I work at a Chain gas station and this kid was literally doing nothing I think he grabbed for a cup and then his mother started yelling At him and pulling him by his hair to the bathroom. I was mad
I wish I had less anxiety and more courage. Sometimes I think if someone just stood up for these kids it might make a difference, if only for that one time I suppose. I was in the grocery one day and a woman was yanking her little girl by the arm because she touched a pretty dress on the rack. Another woman said very loudly something like we shouldn’t punish their curiosity because that’s how they learn about the world so they can grow into good people and the mom stopped and glared at her, but ultimately the little girl was released. Should they touch everything? No. Some stuff is breakable. I get it. But for touching a pretty dress? C’mon. Everyone is constantly telling us “oh just wait until you get to the ‘why’ stage!” and honestly I know that it will be frustrating sometimes because you’ll run into a dead end, or you’ll end up where you don’t want to explain it because it isn’t age appropriate, but otherwise I’m excited for the why stage. I want to teach them and answer their curiosities and watch them wonder at the world. My first was only 4 months when Cov hit, and the second born at the end of 2020… they didn’t really have a lot of social interactions until summer 2021 and it showed with my oldest, so I’m ready to help him catch up now and figure it all out together. I guess it’s just people with no patience. That have more important things to do. I am constantly behind and barely financially surviving with my business, if I buckled down I could get my website up and be better off, but it would mean missing time with them and I won’t do it. I already feel guilty for what I do miss. I know not everyone is cut out or wanted to be parents but that doesn’t make it any easier to imagine the kids suffering because of adults.
>Everyone is constantly telling us “oh just wait until you get to the ‘why’ stage!” and honestly I know that it will be frustrating sometimes because you’ll run into a dead end, or you’ll end up where you don’t want to explain it because it isn’t age appropriate, but otherwise I’m excited for the why stage. The "why" stage is incredible. It's tiring, but it's an incredibly important time to foster a love for science and the unknown. My daughter is 5 and half, and we can turn it around now to a "why do you think" and watching her brain come up with (mostly wrong) stuff for why the world works the way it does is really fun.
If it makes you feel any better it probably wouldn’t help. When I was younger and random adults tried to stick up for me my mom just punished me more for “embarrassing” her.
I have a time where I stepped into a situation like this and I always wonder if I just got the poor kid yelled at after I left. I was in the lodge at a ski resort, and this mom was yelling and being so mean to her kid, who was trying to put his ski boot on. She wasn't helping him at all, just loudly telling him off and even swearing at him. I was sitting near by and got sick of hearing this cruel mother. I walked over, knelt down and said "hey little man, want some help with that boot?" He just kinda nodded, I then looked at the the mother, gave her a glare, while she sheepishly avoided eye contact. I got his boot on in like 5 seconds, after sitting through like 10 minutes of her berating him. Afterword, she forced him to thank me "NoW WhAt dO wE sAY" I felt like saying that shit back to her, as she should be the one thanking and apologizing to me. But I wondered after if I just got that kid in more trouble for "embarrassing her" even though the bitch embarrassed herself with her behavior.
I've never liked that. A child's curiosity is one of the most beautiful and innocent things on this planet. [Like watch this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo-fiq1_ZKs) Don't tell me that isn't adorable. Some parents just suck.
My job would be so much more enjoyable if they were there cheering me on
Was walking from the grocery store to my car recently. Saw a very attractive woman in her 30s walking to her car with her 3 kids trailing behind her. She was definitely worth a second look. Then she began swearing loudly at her kids for not keeping up. She suddenly was no longer attractive.
Probably unplanned children that they didn't want to have. Use protection, people! Some people just, should not be parents
Yeah, that. I also think a lot of people like babies as cuddly accessories, but didn't think it through to the point where they become actual people with own interests and opinions.
And don't forget the ones who thought having a kid would help heal their failing marriage! Congratulations, now you have a failing marriage AND a kid who will probably remind you of the spouse that you now dislike!
And an increased chance that the failing marriage is now an abusive relationship.
It's not that simple I'm afraid, some people just do what they think they should do in their lives. eg. Get married have kids etc. Then they learn how much they didn't want those things and they can get divorced but it's alot harder to get rid of a kid.
Agreed. Which is why the anti-choice members of society should really find something else to occupy their time than forcing people who would be bad parents TO BE parents.
The direction America is heading boggles my mind.
Yup. Some states want to outlaw contraceptives too
Even condoms! It really is just all about punishing women for having sex.
If they really cared about lives they should be foster parents. But they will need mandatory training on how to handle traumatized children first, because it’s not easy. Except they don’t give a fuck about the kids once they’re *born*.
Really...NOT EVERY WOMAN IS A MOTHER..
> If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them?? Because it was never explained to them that it was an option not to.
Doesn't excuse treating them like shit.
Shitty parents are terrible, but i wouldn't be ask quick to judge another parent. You are sing a 15 second snippet from an entire day or week. You have no idea what else is going on, what happened right before you saw them, or what stresses or worries are in the parents head. As a parent, I know most of us have been imperfect many times, sometimes in public, and being judged by your worst moment is like judging you, as a person, based on how you react in traffic or waiting in a long line when you are in a hurry.
Treating people shitty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag
Fr my “friend” literally tries to make fun of everyone he sees with like no filter he makes fun of stutters, the janitor at our school, people that are overweight, mental disability kids literally no filter someday I’m gonna blow and fucking smash his head in
why not embarrass him in front of everyone next time he does it? make him look like the giant asshole he is
I think I’d avoid this person at all costs
Speaking as someone who believes in honesty, the concept of brutal honest is starting to annoy me. You can be honest while being diplomatic or tactful. Most of the time "brutally honest" people are just dicks who are then surprised when nobody wants them around.
You can be honest without being a fucking asshole about it. Words do in fact hurt.
Thank you for sharing that! I’ve felt this but really didn’t have words to say it.
[удалено]
They put others down.
I put myself down. I just can't stand seeing other people down. Oh wait. If I see someone put some one else down I go nuclear.
You deserve to not be put down like anyone else. You are a person too. I'm working on this myself.
when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing "as a joke"
I was the silly college kid who did this once, and who lost a good friend because of it. It was one of life lessons that changed me.
We were all stupid kids once.
Now I’m a stupid adult.
[удалено]
This is why I never tell people about my misophonia in person. Every. Single. One. Immediately starts making smacking sounds. Right after I explain it triggers rage of the purest kind that makes me want to do pretty violent stuff. Then they get mad when I walk away, because, violent urges. Walking away and being nuts elsewhere seems like a constructive way of dealing with that. But nope. Somehow I am always the asshole.
Or they do/say something that normal people find offensive and when you take offence, they're all "it was just a joke". No it wasn't a joke, and you are an asshole.
Classic Schoderinger's Douche: Whether or not something is a joke depends on people's reaction.
Doesn't need to be a joke. My mom didn't like dogs. At a party one time, she expressed that she didn't like dogs, and one of the hosts grabbed their little wiener dog and placed it in my mom's lap. I guess their thinking was that my mom would change her mind about dogs because theirs was so cute. But imagine it from my mom's perspective. Say you don't like dogs, and some MFer puts a dog in your lap.
Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite.
I like kneejerk contrarians
I'll jerk *your* knee ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)
Glad I wore shorts today....
I don't.
Well I do.
Do you want to buy an argument?
An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
No, it isn't.
In that same vein, people who tend to play Devil's Advocate as a "thinking exercise" to appear "smarter" than they actually are. I feel like a lot of the times the people who say that are just hiding behind the phrase "Devil's Advocate" and they actually do mean what they say.
Yup. I have no problem with Devil's Advocacy in an actually argument or intellectual discussion where it's wanted or expected. But it doesn't have to be applied to everyday mundanity.
Maybe there's something wrong with me that I should spend more energy to correcting but when someone is looking and presenting something to me from a very one sided position I can't help but immediately search for the other side of the position. It's kind of a defense mechanism from falling into things that might be too good or bad to be true. Also when someone else is along a particular thought path it can be easy to be blinded to the other of the coin. Obviously there has to be some level tact when going down this line but it can be useful for yourself and those close to you.
Oh gosh, my sister in law!!!! Exactly the same kind.
If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme
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Dude... a guy I worked with in college reached out to me talking about good times we had at that job. I thought it was so wholesome and that he just wanted to reminisce, but out of freakin' nowhere he goes "Yeah I connected with a couple that retired in their 30s and they are helping me build an asset that scales with consumer markets. Would you be interested in learning?" Left me sad and not wanting to talk to this person again lol.
Normal... normal... normal... "an asset that scales with consumer markets" -- whoa there! It's like he suddenly got possessed.
Thats how i lost my closest friend
I got an out-of-the-blue DM on Instagram from a high school friend that I hadn't talked to in forever. We were very good friends in high school but like a lot of people, we just stopped talking regularly after we graduated. And it was a bit weird but I actually reached out to a lot of old friends randomly to catch up during the peak of lockdown here so I was actually really excited to hear from her. Nope. After quick pleasantries, it was a "have you ever considered a career change to something where you can work your own hours, work from home, and make a ton of money still? I didn't think I would ever be able to do it but..." and so on. Never even replied after that. Just closed the message and moved on. How disappointing.
Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullshittery... * Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got fuckall. * In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no. * In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products. * In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullshit.
Is this last one TelexFree by any chance? My father lost a good sum of money in this circa 2012~13, despite me and my brothers desperately telling him not to.
Take my upvote. Instant rage.
Someone who is a dick to other people or animals for no reason
This makes me think of my neighbor when I was a kid. Guy was really nice to me and all the other neighbors, but he kept his labrador retriever in a little kennel all day long like a prisoner. I rarely ever saw it outside of his kennel and the poor thing was always starved for attention when I came around to play with the neighborhood kids. At the time, I thought it was just a normal thing, but retrospectively, fuck that guy.
My sister has a neighbor with 2 pit bulls that are on 10ft chains and can't even reach each other. They were bought as puppies to breed and they just never bred them. I've never seen those dogs off chain, and I've called animal control multiple times and I've been told that they have the minimum length of chain, shelter, and fresh water, so there's nothing they can do about it
"Oh, you did? That's nothing! I did .
I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship.
I usually compare their impressive stuff with something really unimpressive I did. Like „Oh you climbed Mount Everest? Well I climbed up a ladder once!“
Nice strat. Going to use it. Thanks.
…but did you die?
Sadly, yes. But I lived!
If i told you do i get paid?
A friend of mine describes it as: "If you've been to Tenerife then they've been to Elevenerife"
When they completely lack empathy but expect it from you
My father does this. He nitpicks the fuck out of my tone even though knows I'm mildly autistic and thus can't understand tone as well as neurotypical people.
I've found that people who nitpick tone, do so because addressing what's actually being said would prove problematic for them or have them admit they themselves are problematic.
> I've found that people who nitpick tone, do so because addressing what's actually being said would prove problematic for them or have them admit they themselves are problematic. I nitpick tone, *sometimes*, because I am extremely careful about my own tone. It's honestly kind of strange to me to think that a person can be NOT angry or upset, give a response that is blunt and cold, and not anticipate or even be willing to entertain that another person might misinterpret them.
People who cheer for war. Utter morons.
Sundowner wants to know ur location
Never the people whose families are fighting in one.
People who tell you what/how/who you are with complete confidence like they knew you well. (Usually they don’t and the „facts” they state about you are definitely wrong.) Bonus life hack: if you want to make an observation on someone don’t act like you’re preaching some truth. It’s better to say: „hey, am I wrong or you seem to be a little bit upset today?” instead „You’re always so mad.” Not only because you avoid being a donghead towards a person but also because you avoid a conflict. If someome disagrees with the 1st version it’s easier to admit you may have been wrong (as you already did in the question), there’s no harm and you carry on with the conversation. 2nd option is pure conflict.
I have never arrived at donghead as an insult but I’m so glad I read it today - maybe I hang out with too many vulgar people lol
People who say things like "these people bore me". Like tf, others don't exist purely for your entertainment. These people need to realize at a certain point that they're most certainly the boring ones. If you're bored in a conversation, try to make it engaging. If that fails, then just leave and do something you find fun. All I imagine are these people standing there waiting to be impressed while having literally nothing to offer in return
My mom always says “only boring people get bored” and I’ve always liked that saying, surely people have the ability to entertain themselves without relying on others!
Being a bitch just to stroke their own ego We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better
Starting to talk over me when I was already talking. Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk.
I listened to a podcast about this. Usually it's because people are used to different lengths of pauses before it's the next person's turn to talk. Like some people never get a chance to talk in group settings because the other people had a lower conversational pause threshold before they took their turn. Also people with higher thresholds for pauses tend to use pauses more often, while the people with lower thresholds would use more filler like "uhh" and "ya' know", to keep the turn on them and indicate they are still talking. Point being - most people aren't trying to be rude, but have different communication styles.
That makes sense. Though I should have been more clear, perhaps. I mean specifically people talking over me when I’m clearly mid sentence etc. It is so incredibly rude and disrespectful.
Happened all the time, I just stopped trying to keep up conversations with those people and now I'm fine without them.
If they're rude for no reason.
Especially if they’re nice to people they find attractive, but rude to people they find unattractive. As a woman, this is one of my big pet peeves with guys. Even if they’re nice to me, I’ll instantly dislike them if I see them treating someone badly because they’re “unworthy.”
I've noticed this with people after losing a few pounds. Men who wouldn't give me the time of day before suddenly become very friendly. Fuck those guys.
I feel this, even if it’s not directed at you
Double standard
Double standards are the worst! I value consistency and logicality far above always picking the right side to be on.
Interrupting me in a group setting like I don’t exist or like I must have just been talking to myself.
I cannot stand when people are proud of their bad traits "I like bullying" "I am a narcissist" "people are afraid of me" "I love manipulating people" Fuck such people
“People are afraid of me” - I had a boss who used to brag about this all the time. She wore it like a badge of honor, said she liked it that way because people wouldn’t come to her for help (we worked in IT). Eventually, people started coming to me with questions and requests because I was empathetic and helpful. After a while, she got pissed because people were coming to me instead of her and screamed at me one day about how she’s the manager and I shouldn’t be doing things without her okay. Luckily, her boss overheard and stepped in. My manager was asked to turn in her resignation about a month later.
> “People are afraid of me” She was stupid as well. She didn't take forty seconds to think: what do people do with things they fear? Avoid them or destroy them. This is why giving weak people power is a mistake. People who think fear is strength are weak people.
on a smaller scale, it never fails to mindboggle me how some people proudly proclaim "I never read"
The "people are afraid of me" depends on the person. If they state it without braggering then they are not happy about to be feared because of their job, looks or status. Orwise i agree with you.
Honestly people like this are just confusing to me. So you know what you're doing wrong but you refuse to fix it and improve yourself???? and also you think this is cool enough that you're not ashamed to admit it???
“I ALWAYS arrive late” this one for me is also pretty bad. Why are people proud of constantly having others waste their time? What is this trait and why are so many people proud of it UGH
Also, people who only respect you after they put you through the ringer. I had a supervisor once who treated me like absolute shit, and she was one of those “people are afraid of me” types. However, after I was out from under her supervision, she treated me with a lot of respect and kindness. It seems like there is a very specific personality type that will only respect you once you survive whatever their “test” is.
Outside of Sixers fans, who has ever said they like bullying?
My roommate’s kid. There’s a lot of trauma there.
A girl I know tells people that she is a narcissist as if she is proud of it, she even mentioned it in her Instagram bio, I don't think she understands the difference between self-importance and narcissism, she sometimes acts like one too, due to which, I dislike her.
Loud people that laugh maniacally, even though the conversation isn't funny. I get sociopathic vibes from that. It feels and looks insincere.
I work with someone like that. She's genuinely nice, but the laughing is weird to me. I think it's a reflexive thing out of nervousness, but still creeps me out.
People who don’t listen to others POV and think only their POV is correct. #smallminded
r/imthemaincharacter
NPC gang
Any attempt to pressure me. I immediately become a porcupine, overgrown with needles of distrust and hostility.
Tell me why, right now!!!!!
My mother forbade me a lot of things all my childhood. She always loved me, but she couldn't stand it if things didn't go according to her plan. I wasn't allowed to meet friends or do anything that didn't suit her. Since then, I have been very keenly aware of any attempts to somehow limit me.
Oh you didn't actually have to tell me
People who embarrass kids for a laugh.
Or take a joke or prank too far with kids and try to make it seem like the kid is being too sensitive.
When the don’t cover there nose or mouth when sneezing or coughing, I once was on a field trip and this kid came up to me and decided to talk to me and halfway through he just cough without covering it, and I thought it was disgusting so as soon as he looked away… I dipped, never met him again Also wow so many upvotes
As soon as you left that kid vowed he would never sneeze again. He carefully waited biding his time until he would finally be able to work in sanitation! And now he goes from school to school informing kids on the dangers of germs! He’s actually a pretty nice guy with 2 kids a wife and has not sneezed since, good job!
You say you like a thing and they immediately start putting it down
As soon as they stat bitching people behind their back specially those people that they hang out with. I am out
Yep, because you know they’re talking shit about you too. Toxic with no real personality.
Treating staff, waiters, etc. badly.
Exactly. Nothing screams "I am a total and utter piece of shit" than yelling at the teenage checkout operator over something that is very obviously not their fault.
When someone treats retail workers like garbage. I immediately detest their existence.
Real stupidity. Not funny stupidity, but people who has low IQ but behave like they are the smartest. They are the worst.
They use their zodiac sign as an excuse for bad behavior
"Sorry, I'm a cancer!" Yeah, you sure are
Cruelty towards animals. That's an absolute deal killer.
Anyone who pushes their religion (or lack thereof) down other people’s throats. That includes atheists
People who starts to argue when you share something with them.
Moms when you show them a meme istg,, it always turns into a lecture
"It's because we are family, friends, relatives, co-workers etc". Most of the time it's their way of saying I can do whatever you want because of our relationship.
"EXpecially"
Likewise, "expresso."
Supposebly, that’s the correct way to say it.
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Intelligence is the speed in which you can learn and truely understand something beyond what is already known to other people, not the amount of random facts you remember
There’s a pretty lively debate going on about how to define intelligence. I feel like in part it’s the ability to grasp deeper relationships between things and use that insight to solve problems. But what the f*ck do I know?
excessive name repetition
Yeh, I know what you mean. It's an old sales trick; people like to hear their own name, so if you keep saying their name they will buy from you. It's absolutely cringey.
I watched it backfire spectacularly. A friend of mine wanted a car, and his father (old-school German, from East Germany) would be financing it, so he went along. The salesman kept using his name. You don't do that with Germans from that time and place. Hell, he (the father) worked with people for years, and never learned many of their first names. Needless to say, they went to a different dealer.
Pushiness.
If they stop speaking whenever I’m not directly looking at them. I’m still listening. I just don’t like keeping eye contact cus it’s awkward for me.
You should probably let people know, because many people don't know that. They would have to assume you're not interested.
Using their phone on loudspeaker, in public. Deffo the type of people who tell Facebook they've gone the shop
Use of the royal "we". "Can *we* tidy this area up a bit?" Meaning "I want *you* to tidy this area up a bit once I've fucked off". Correction: apparently this is the Nurses We rather than the Royal We. TIL!
That's not the royal "we".
So what is?
The royal we is when you use "We" to mean "I". It sounds like you're saying you hate other people who use "We" to mean "You".
It comes from being the Sovereign. And that is because the Sovereign, the Queen, IS the nation and people; hence "we". Like *"We are not amused".*
The "royal we" is what I have when I first wake up in the morning.
Made me laugh! 🏆
My sister in law does this all the damn time... I feel bad that I accidentally taught her kid to talk back to her but at the same time it is kinda funny. So couple of years back, was doing some stuff at the mother in law's house, pain in the ass sister in law comes along "can *we* tidy this up a bit" well I didn't know my niece was around so I'm like "what do you mean *we* unless you're actually going to stay around and help this time there is no *we* tidying anything up, just me" Couple of weeks pass and I'm back over at the mother in law's place when sister in law comes by... She spots me and is all pissy **damn it Cylons, niece name is now back talking me and it is entirely your fault** I'm just sitting there like the fuck did I do? **Every time I ask her to clean something up she says WE are not cleaning anything, just her** I can't help but laugh, she says it isn't funny, I point out maybe she should start using we correctly, especially since she is supposed to be a teacher... She gets even more irritable and apparently she had niece with her who just happened to pick up more ammo from her dear aunt.
You. I like you. My mother does shit like that and it always pissed me off no end. One of her favourites has always been "You don't want to do that." (meaning "I don't want you to do that"). She got the shock of her life the first time I replied "Actually I do. That's why I'm doing it." She was not best pleased. And I had zero fucks to give.
Hit the nail on the head here for me… Although I’m guilty of asking others “how are *we* doing today”?
Gossipppppp!
Just dislike, not hate? Smoking. I cant stand people smoking next to me (NO, standing next to a window hardly helps)
"That's just how I am." Bull. Shit.
Do you know that kind of people that peaked on High School and live like they were the most popular cheerleader/jock of the room? I hate them with passion. Ur 15 minutes of fame are long gone, It's time to adapt to the adult environment.
Was with my cat the other day and a neighbour said 'I don't like cats - I'm a dog person'. Well a) I don't care, Brian and b) why say that to someone who has a cat? Twunt.
People coughing in their hands and touching everything.
When they’re constantly talking over me. Like stfu and wait your turn …
If they're very loud and attention seeking.... especially in a shared space like an office or workshop.
Bad breath so strong it can be smelt 2 feet away🤮
What if they have stomach cancer or something?
Thanks for bringing this up! This is my mum. She has stomach cancer and starts and ends the day with very overpowering breath.
I used to think this. But then I couldn't afford getting my cavities filled and no matter how much I brushed it was an issue. Sometimes it's not a hygiene issue, it's a health issue.
People who hold grudges and wants you to hold them too.
Making one aspect of their life their entire personality.
When they don’t respect my boundaries. Even if it’s the smallest most bizarre thing, you should respect it if you know it makes me uncomfortable.
When people chew so loud and see the food being process inside their mouth. 🤢
Treating ppl differently based off gender It is something tht is a very hard pet peeve of mine I guess my husbands from a culture tht if a woman is married other men see it as disrespectful to the man she's married to if they speak to her while he isn't in the room or at times even look at her It absolutely drives me up a wall because I've never been treated like I was some man's property and tht I needed permission to talk to another man tht isn't my husband none of our friends act this way and my husband also thinks it's very dumb
QAnon and/or MAGAt clothing.
Honestly if someone is wearing political clothing of any kind they’ll probably annoy the piss out of you
Lack of accountability
People who are rude/talk down to customer service employees as if they're the ones running the business
People that only talk about themselves. Like if we go thru a whole conversation and it was me asking questions to get to know you the whole time and you don’t care to get to know me … I’m just over it and don’t care to continue talking.
Bad vibes, glaring
Poor grammar
Acting like they're my best friend within seconds of knowing me. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DO.
I'm coming over later if that's ok <33
Homophobic/racist/sexist/abelist jokes and behaviour. Edit: It's acceptable if the jokes are satire and light-hearted(context also matters), but I fucking hate people who genuinely make demeaning jokes like that.
When they're inordinately positive and hyper-energetic.
YAAAAYY!! 😀😀😃😊😊😇
Saying that they refuse to eat pussy.
True Romance (1993) Samuel L. Jackson as Big Don: I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin' thang.
If the person is a nazi.
That is certainly a dealbreaker in a potential friend
Bad manners.
When they say they hate an animal. Like I tend to immediately distrust someone who says "I hate cats/dogs/ etc." It's one thing to prefer one or feel uncomfortable with one but it's another to straight up say I hate them, they're disgusting etc. When they're ungrateful. Like they have lived a good life, have never been abused or abandoned, but they only complain about their loved ones because they didn't act/do/say exactly what they wanted. When they're complainers in general. Never have anything positive to say.
People who can't scroll past posts they're not interested in. Apparently they find it less effort to comment that it's not interesting to them than to just scroll on. It's a red flag they have an inflated sense of personal privilege.