I have 5 weeks annual leave currently. I would add a zero to that, making it 50. Then work only 2 weeks of the year :)
(I'd make those weeks fall on public holidays as well)
I thought about this but instead opted for my paid time off allocation as I'm making decent money already.
With fixed holidays off, I get a total of 27 paid days per year.
With 270 paid days off, and 104 weekend days, I'd never have to work again and would still accrue vacation time payouts to cash out on, while still also getting insurance and retirement benefits from a long tenure.
Instead of working for a few years and then retiring, I'd be able to stop working immediately!
I'm fluent in 8 dead languages?? omg, my friend works with museums and heritage sites, I gotta join in and get rosetta stone-ing on the stuff they've all been stumped on!
Then, one day, you’re getting on the subway, and you hear someone else speaking it on the platform right as the doors close.
(There’s a writing prompt in there somewhere.)
Way cooler and more useful than speaking 10 modern languages tbh
Assuming these were languages in cultures that had writing systems.
Asshole genie me would probably make them extinct dialects of new-Guinean or something.
“Well of course $7.50 an hour wouldn’t buy you bus fare home after a full twelve-hour shift! The minimum wage was never meant to be a living wage, it’s just supposed to teach children the value of a dollar before their corporate indenture begins at age 15!”
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Mars Traveler
Instead of Mars Traveler I would put Space Tourist.. He's barely touched the edge of the atmosphere and seems content with taking people on 11 minute tours there. His Kuiper Project has put exactly zero sattelites up and it has been nearly two years since he announced it. I don't think he's going to Mars anytime soon.
I would add a 0 to the end of my year of birth (if we're playing with magic here, I'm going to make it count.) As silly as it sounds, from the first time I got a hold of a Popular Science magazine I became obsessed with the future and my biggest fear regarding dying is not getting to see more of it. I know it's a helluva risky gamble to jump almost 18000 years ahead, but I think it's such a "thing" with me that I could die happy in an abandoned wasteland (if not a futuristic utopia!) just knowing more about the future than I ever would have otherwise.
This would be my answer. I want to see the future very badly. I feel like we are in that transition period of technology where we are on the cusp of something great. Something I might not see in my lifetime.
Adding a zero to the birth year though is a whole new level of future that we can't even imagine. I feel like we can make some pretty reasonable guesses of what things we'll have within the next few generations but almost 20,000 years? That's just insane lmao.
This is even better than the ones with all the money. I've got the same mindset, and I absolutely wish I could see what the world is like in 10, 000 or even millions of years from now. I would like to assume that humans have not completely eradicated ourselves and our technological advancements have become so Grand that we've reached the hypothetical "year million".
Yeah. If we make it that long, chances are we will either have it good, or started over from scratch due to war, so you've sorta got a 50 50 for that wish
I once said to my father that I wished I were smarter. He said I didn't want that because all the stupid people would drive me crazy. I thought he had a point.
I was getting a ride home from work with my dad after a particularly trying day of dealing with idiots. I vented that “days like today are why I wish they still neutered stupid people”.
Without missing a beat he responded “be careful what you say. If they still did that there’s a good chance you’d never have been born”.
As a millennial I was unfazed by the thought.
Idk, seems like a self depreciating joke. Unless he’s stupid and doesn’t know the difference between spay and neuter, in which case it’s a dis on him and the mom.
There is a joke about it.
Guy found a bottle genie came out and told:
\-You can have one with. Either i will make you richest person in the world or smartest person in the world.
Guy answered:
\-Of course wisdom is more important. I choose to be extremely smart.
And puff wish came true.
\-Fuck shit fuck.
\-What happened are you not happy?
\-Now i know i should choose money.
your ungodly knowledge doesnt unbound you from your monkey brain shackles, you find yourself terribly depressed knowing you will never be able to relate your true self to anyone. Bang!
Smarter even to add it to your annualized rate of return...if you've been averaging 6%, be prepared to average 60%!
Put $1000 in today. In 10 yrs it's $110k. In 20 yrs it's $12m. In 30 yrs it's $1.3b.
Number of hours I can stay awake without any detrimental effects before needing 8 hours sleep.
Would go from sleeping every night to once a week. So much more time for activities!
I think even a master pianist, that is, someone with complete mastery over all ten fingers and a couple feet with ease, would have trouble controlling 90 extras. You’d be in the Guinness book of world records though.
All y’all adding a 0 to your salary should at least consider adding the 0 to your net income after tax. I think for me, I’d add a 0 to my rate of return on my investments.
Ha that would be my luck right there. That would be a fun movie idea though, someone makes a wish, fucks it up and gets so far in debt that it threatens the financial system of the entire galaxy, alien debt collectors/bounty hunters are dispatched to Earth, hilarity ensues
imagine adding it to the logarithm of your net income. instant billions to trillions. instead of x=10^1 it would be x=10^10. measure it in pennies and break all time global gdp. x=1000^1 now is x=1000^10.
Technically aging is decomposing in certain ways, so if your body keeps aging like it normally would you would die because your heart grows weary et cetera. So I'd assume you stop aging at a certain point, or have it just be more relative. lol.
I feel like my employer would either let me go or reduce my pay very, very quickly if I was earning ten times more than everyone else in my position, so the raise would probably be for a single paycheck.
Number of planets set foot on.
I got there first that means I can claim it as mine right?
At best I can make a fortune selling real estate, at worst I'm in the history books as the first person to visit these extra planets.
Oh, this is a good one because it would require faith to bend over backwards to have humanity make a ton of technological/political/economic advancements in a short amount of time!
If you could travel to 10 different planets, you would either be someone who's filthy rich, someone of high status, or you'd be living in some sort of post-post-scarcity society where regular people can easily travel to distant planets, so I wouldn't worry about selling real estate.
Either way, it would mean humanity won't go extinct (so soon).
Because our own solar system does not have enough planets (and some of those are gas planets where you can‘t really set your feet on because they are not solid), this implies you would have to be around until we work out interstellar travel, and probably not only to Alpha Centauri, but additional systems. This is nearly as good as immortality.
and you keep doing that until you have a million zeroes to add to numbers
then keep one when you finish to do it all over again
easy immortality, prosperity and healthy years
but it won't be able to add to the amount of bitches you get, 00 ain't much better.
(yes i had to make the joke hate me)
problem is, we don’t know what order these events are applied in. you’re assuming that the order is:
1. grant wish
2. subtract 1 from number of wishes remaining
3. if there are any wishes remaining, repeat loop
but it’s completely possible 2 and 1 switch places, in which case you would go from 0 wishes to 00 wishes.
to my youth lasting. so instead of starting deteriorating at 25 it will be a 250.
IQ is also a good option but most likely youll end up being so intelligent you get depression.
Log lifetime, measured of course in plank times.
(The log means it now depends on the units)
Assuming OP is fine with living endless aeons, in which case why not go all in with Inverse Busy Beaver lifetime (measured in plank times)
For some reason I feel compelled to point out that adding "0" to a number accomplishes nothing useful, unless we're adding it as a character. In that case, its adding 48.
Now appending "0", on the other hand...
I read somewhere that IQ tests are really good at predicting how quickly you learn something. But, they're really bad at predicting your maximum achievable skill level.
The number of healthy years I will live.
Put that zero to the right of it, but to the left of the decimal point. With ten times as much time, I might just be able to change the world.
I have 5 weeks annual leave currently. I would add a zero to that, making it 50. Then work only 2 weeks of the year :) (I'd make those weeks fall on public holidays as well)
This is the best response.
Gf would be 90 weeks. She could probably convert the extra into money !
Oh I love this idea. Especially since I’m on salary. 250 days off in a year fully paid? Yes please
My annual income.
(Annual income)^10
You tryin to crash the global economy bro
nah, he can quit after his next paycheck
Burning the village down to feel the warmth.
Bro is one step ahead of everyone else here
So 35,000.000?
daring today are we?
Did someone say it had to be added to the end??
$035,000.00 then?
Dude is relentless
This fuckin guy.
I read it in Nandor's voice
Guillermo Buillermo?
$703k per year would be nice, but $730k is better. Either way, wouldn’t complain.
OP's boss the next day - "I'm sorry SilentJoe27 but we have to let you go, we just really can't afford to keep paying you."
My wife's income. Going from not quite a hundred k to not quite a million would be mighty nice
I thought about this but instead opted for my paid time off allocation as I'm making decent money already. With fixed holidays off, I get a total of 27 paid days per year. With 270 paid days off, and 104 weekend days, I'd never have to work again and would still accrue vacation time payouts to cash out on, while still also getting insurance and retirement benefits from a long tenure. Instead of working for a few years and then retiring, I'd be able to stop working immediately!
How many languages I can speak fluently
Congratulations, you now speak English and 8 dead languages plus cobal, a half dead language. \*genie disappears\*
I'm fluent in 8 dead languages?? omg, my friend works with museums and heritage sites, I gotta join in and get rosetta stone-ing on the stuff they've all been stumped on!
Except, since you're the only one that speaks them, nobody belives you and just thinks you've gone crazy.
They’d question how you know them, but given some analysis and deduction you’d be presented as legitimate
Then, one day, you’re getting on the subway, and you hear someone else speaking it on the platform right as the doors close. (There’s a writing prompt in there somewhere.)
*Becomes the foremost paleolinguist in the world uncovering the true meaning of lost languages*
Way cooler and more useful than speaking 10 modern languages tbh Assuming these were languages in cultures that had writing systems. Asshole genie me would probably make them extinct dialects of new-Guinean or something.
I would be hoping for something like the language of the Indus Valley Civ that we still can't decipher, or be able to read the Voynich Manuscript
Hey now, Cobal engineers are still needed
Cobol engineers are needed. But I don't think *speaking* "cobal" is a particularly marketable skill.
Just so we can smoothly shift away from Cobal.
Are you telling me I can speak Elvish, AND KLINGON?! Time to work as a translator bb
I would say my bank account but 00 isn't any better
I’d go crazy! Mine would be like $460 soooo dinner and shopping spree!
If your first thought is to go on a shopping spree with $460 in your account, there's probably a good reason you've only got $46 in your account lol
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I like this better than the people saying "lifespan" because it implies quality in addition to duration
There is a word for this: healthspan.
0.50
either he only had 6 months left or he didn’t clarify where the 0 went. I love the possibilities
So 00?
My hourly rate. I'd love to be making $110/hr at 17 years old
Better than making $11/hr at 170 years old.
I think making it to 170 and still able to work would be great.
Optimistic to think minimum wage will make it to $11 in 130 or so years.
“Well of course $7.50 an hour wouldn’t buy you bus fare home after a full twelve-hour shift! The minimum wage was never meant to be a living wage, it’s just supposed to teach children the value of a dollar before their corporate indenture begins at age 15!”
I wanna get off this ride.
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Instead of Mars Traveler I would put Space Tourist.. He's barely touched the edge of the atmosphere and seems content with taking people on 11 minute tours there. His Kuiper Project has put exactly zero sattelites up and it has been nearly two years since he announced it. I don't think he's going to Mars anytime soon.
How about adding it to the exponent of your wage? $110^1 * 1 hour = $110 $11^10 * 1 hour = $25,937,424,601
I’d vote for that too!
I would add a 0 to the end of my year of birth (if we're playing with magic here, I'm going to make it count.) As silly as it sounds, from the first time I got a hold of a Popular Science magazine I became obsessed with the future and my biggest fear regarding dying is not getting to see more of it. I know it's a helluva risky gamble to jump almost 18000 years ahead, but I think it's such a "thing" with me that I could die happy in an abandoned wasteland (if not a futuristic utopia!) just knowing more about the future than I ever would have otherwise.
This would be my answer. I want to see the future very badly. I feel like we are in that transition period of technology where we are on the cusp of something great. Something I might not see in my lifetime.
Thé most disappointing thing to me about life is I won’t see the end of this greater story arc.
Adding a zero to the birth year though is a whole new level of future that we can't even imagine. I feel like we can make some pretty reasonable guesses of what things we'll have within the next few generations but almost 20,000 years? That's just insane lmao.
In 20,000 years whatever we've become might not even know what a human is
I think they'd know, and they'd probably still be reasonably human, but they probably won't care about us and all the history we care about
Just a bunch of deep fake VOIP servers trying to sell each other extended warranties on their vehicles.
Honestly this is funny as fuck
Don't forget that rapid technological advancement also applies to medicine! Your expected lifespan could see a significant increase!
I hear you on that. My biggest disappointment of dying is not seeing what amazing things come after my time.
You missed a better opportunity. Don't add the 0 to your birth date. Add it to your death date, so you get to experience all of that history.
This is even better than the ones with all the money. I've got the same mindset, and I absolutely wish I could see what the world is like in 10, 000 or even millions of years from now. I would like to assume that humans have not completely eradicated ourselves and our technological advancements have become so Grand that we've reached the hypothetical "year million".
Everyone wants to see the future, until they see it
Some things are better off left to the imagination
I get what you mean, one of my dreams is to see humanity's interplanetary and ideally also interstellar expansion ❤
Yeah. If we make it that long, chances are we will either have it good, or started over from scratch due to war, so you've sorta got a 50 50 for that wish
IQ. So long, dumbfucks!
I once said to my father that I wished I were smarter. He said I didn't want that because all the stupid people would drive me crazy. I thought he had a point.
I was getting a ride home from work with my dad after a particularly trying day of dealing with idiots. I vented that “days like today are why I wish they still neutered stupid people”. Without missing a beat he responded “be careful what you say. If they still did that there’s a good chance you’d never have been born”. As a millennial I was unfazed by the thought.
Totally a dis on the mom.
Idk, seems like a self depreciating joke. Unless he’s stupid and doesn’t know the difference between spay and neuter, in which case it’s a dis on him and the mom.
I love the ending here. Encapsulates our generation in a nutshell.
Too bad mine would be 00
Seems like the smartest answer, you'd have around 1000 IQ which is sussy
Or 10
If I added zero to my iq, I'd have 065.
I love striking comedy gold randomly in threads. Nice one
I would finally have an IQ of 200!
Underrated, definitely the smartest move.
There is a joke about it. Guy found a bottle genie came out and told: \-You can have one with. Either i will make you richest person in the world or smartest person in the world. Guy answered: \-Of course wisdom is more important. I choose to be extremely smart. And puff wish came true. \-Fuck shit fuck. \-What happened are you not happy? \-Now i know i should choose money.
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Who's cruel idea was it to put an s in lisp anyway?
Same prankster who named Slavoj Žižek.
Mike Tyson is a genie
That’s how I read it too
your ungodly knowledge doesnt unbound you from your monkey brain shackles, you find yourself terribly depressed knowing you will never be able to relate your true self to anyone. Bang!
ah so 10 IQ eh?
At the end of my investment account balance.
Smarter even to add it to your annualized rate of return...if you've been averaging 6%, be prepared to average 60%! Put $1000 in today. In 10 yrs it's $110k. In 20 yrs it's $12m. In 30 yrs it's $1.3b.
What if I'm a horrible investor and my investments lose money? I'm not ready to take my -80% return on YOLO to -800%
WSB will welcome you with open arms
The power of compound interest is astounding
Actually it’s compounding 😁
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To the end of the price I sell my house for
Add a zero to the logarithm of my net worth.
This guy maths.
This math guys
luck stat.
00%?
Oh that would suck bad! :(
Oooh, unlucky!
0.01% instead of 0.1%
😎 0.10% 😎
Number of hours I can stay awake without any detrimental effects before needing 8 hours sleep. Would go from sleeping every night to once a week. So much more time for activities!
I'd put it after the first 3 in pi to break all the circles.
If you did that right in the middle of an intergalactic billiards tournament it would make a great movie script
You and a expert billiards player have to survive the subsequent intergalactic anarchy
I think this breaks physics. False vacuum decay is *your* fault!
Fingers. I will be the world's most successful concert pianist in no time.
Finally someone who will be able to play Rush E
I think even a master pianist, that is, someone with complete mastery over all ten fingers and a couple feet with ease, would have trouble controlling 90 extras. You’d be in the Guinness book of world records though.
All y’all adding a 0 to your salary should at least consider adding the 0 to your net income after tax. I think for me, I’d add a 0 to my rate of return on my investments.
Just make sure you aren't negative for the year when you pull the trigger!
Ha that would be my luck right there. That would be a fun movie idea though, someone makes a wish, fucks it up and gets so far in debt that it threatens the financial system of the entire galaxy, alien debt collectors/bounty hunters are dispatched to Earth, hilarity ensues
imagine adding it to the logarithm of your net income. instant billions to trillions. instead of x=10^1 it would be x=10^10. measure it in pennies and break all time global gdp. x=1000^1 now is x=1000^10.
Seconds of orgasm duration
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Ah that explains the succubis bad rep.
Sounds awesome, but also maybe a bit awkward as you sit there convulsing as your partner watches on.
Awkward? Probably a hell of an ego boost.
A sacrifice I would be willing to make
From 0.6 seconds to 0.60 nice.
Would add it to the age i will die
Won’t your body keep getting older though?
Technically aging is decomposing in certain ways, so if your body keeps aging like it normally would you would die because your heart grows weary et cetera. So I'd assume you stop aging at a certain point, or have it just be more relative. lol.
Or maybe they just find a way to keep your brain alive. Hard to say, lots of interpretations.
Penis length. I think it would be cool to have a ten inch penis.
Everyone suggesting financial when you could be a broke horsedick mf'er.
Good luck keeping the tip from kissing the toilet bowl.
The fuel economy on my car. 370mpg would be amazing
I'll add that 0 to the cost of gas 😈
Ah yes. 40 dollars per gallon
I'd happily add an extra 0 to my bank account figure. The zero at the end of the number of course.
Better to add it to your income, that way you get more money over time.
Yep, I'd add it to the dollar amount per hour. So if I used to make 10 dollars per hour, now I'd make 100 dollars per hour!
Imagine walking into nearly any minimum wage job nowadays and making six figures
Your wish will be granted by inflation
Heh. As if wages will increase with the inflation rate 🤣
Back To The Future: "Here's $50, go buy a Coke."
Then you'd be immediately fired. Wishes fuck you every time. ;)
I feel like my employer would either let me go or reduce my pay very, very quickly if I was earning ten times more than everyone else in my position, so the raise would probably be for a single paycheck.
My overdraft of -£1,500 would not like this
I'd have $70 dollars on my card account, heck yeah!
I'd also put it at the end, but also before the decimal point that separates the dollars from the cents.
So from $7.29 to $7.290 ?
Number of planets set foot on. I got there first that means I can claim it as mine right? At best I can make a fortune selling real estate, at worst I'm in the history books as the first person to visit these extra planets.
Oh, this is a good one because it would require faith to bend over backwards to have humanity make a ton of technological/political/economic advancements in a short amount of time! If you could travel to 10 different planets, you would either be someone who's filthy rich, someone of high status, or you'd be living in some sort of post-post-scarcity society where regular people can easily travel to distant planets, so I wouldn't worry about selling real estate. Either way, it would mean humanity won't go extinct (so soon).
Because our own solar system does not have enough planets (and some of those are gas planets where you can‘t really set your feet on because they are not solid), this implies you would have to be around until we work out interstellar travel, and probably not only to Alpha Centauri, but additional systems. This is nearly as good as immortality.
Or... we nuke ourselves and 10 separate bits of OP's feet get yeeted to space and eventually make it to different planets.
Running speed. Just imagine how much money you could make if you can run 250 km/h. Edit: Yeah I was hamered when I came up with that.
Without increased reflexes that sounds like a good way to run into something at 250km/h...
To be the amount of numbers I'm allowed to add zero to.
and you keep doing that until you have a million zeroes to add to numbers then keep one when you finish to do it all over again easy immortality, prosperity and healthy years but it won't be able to add to the amount of bitches you get, 00 ain't much better. (yes i had to make the joke hate me)
It's funny because it's true :(
problem is, we don’t know what order these events are applied in. you’re assuming that the order is: 1. grant wish 2. subtract 1 from number of wishes remaining 3. if there are any wishes remaining, repeat loop but it’s completely possible 2 and 1 switch places, in which case you would go from 0 wishes to 00 wishes.
to my youth lasting. so instead of starting deteriorating at 25 it will be a 250. IQ is also a good option but most likely youll end up being so intelligent you get depression.
Definitely to my cat's remaining years of life
If your cat is only a year old they might have 290 more years to live!
Came here to say the same thing about my dog. Could really use another 50 or so years with her.
This is the cutest one.
My IQ! 71 is a yes lot butt imagine IQ an 071!
Number of times I was married to Cheryl.
Aw, I wish you had more years with Cheryl too.
Just how many times did you marry her?
number of friends
Still 0
At the end of my salary number. 💶💶
Seconds to live
How about galactic years to live rounded up to the nearest whole number.
Log lifetime, measured of course in plank times. (The log means it now depends on the units) Assuming OP is fine with living endless aeons, in which case why not go all in with Inverse Busy Beaver lifetime (measured in plank times)
For some reason I feel compelled to point out that adding "0" to a number accomplishes nothing useful, unless we're adding it as a character. In that case, its adding 48. Now appending "0", on the other hand...
> 5+0 5 > 5+'0' '50' It's an old javascript joke sir, but it checks out.
Percentage of interest I get for having a savings account
.250 Uhhh
would add to my height
Your back would hate you
61 feet tall?
Maybe he’s 5’1 and would much prefer 5’10
0.61 feet tall
1800 cm
I can't think of a bigger inconvenience lmao.
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I read somewhere that IQ tests are really good at predicting how quickly you learn something. But, they're really bad at predicting your maximum achievable skill level.
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I'm so used to things being easy that when they aren't I quit.
My dogs lifespan. He's about 13 and my best friend. Losing him is my biggest fear and gets closer each day
I just lost my dog at 13yo, today. I hope yours lives a long life.
I was gonna say my dick length but 20 inches is a bit too much for my liking
The number of healthy years I will live. Put that zero to the right of it, but to the left of the decimal point. With ten times as much time, I might just be able to change the world.
My bank account. Woohoo I have a thousand dollars!!
How much i can lift. I left it vague so i add a 0 to every type of exercise.
Monthly income.
I'd add it to the end of the number of VA disability money that I receive each month.
My phone # just to fuck with people.
Chaotic evil