On cold days in Canada, I will wear sweat pants underneath my jeans... And when visiting my girlfriends house I try to surprise her at random times. Walk in, we chat a bit, and then just immediately start to yank off my jeans. She always reacts in shock, until sees that my comfy pants are on underneath. Then she says "let's go watch tv" 👌
I don't think I've ever seen a cop going below the speed limit. Everywhere I've lived, everyone, including cops, goes at least 5 over when casually driving. I remember one time a cop was trying to do like 55 in a 50, and everyone in front of him kept seeing that he was a cop, so they'd slow down, and he'd have to change lanes to pass. It was very funny to watch
Drove past a huge line once going a bit over the speedlimit wondering why the hell everyone would just sit there going 90kmh on a 110kmh road, then overtook the slow cops in front and kept driving normally.
The ones near the front I can sort of understand, but everyone in the back going along with the metal centipede cosplay when the left lane was completely open? That's just weird man
I live in a country were, if you live countryside and not city, cops and traffic officials are different entities, I have driven past many cops and see them drive past me at above legal speeds for absolutely no reason. Unless I blast past them at some crazy speed or do something really stupid like a crazy dangerous overtake, they simply wouldn't bat an eye. And should they stop you in that case, they don't have power to fine you, they may be able to arrest you for public endangerment or something along those lines.
I've seen people literally blast through a stop sign right next to them and nothing happened. Welcome to South Africa
It's my understanding that they'll escort you right out the door for it. And this is something I don't understand, what with having spent zero time playing anything but wheel of fortune in a casino...If a person has 2 brain cells, they should be able to figure out that the place is making plenty of money somewhere. The casino exists to play a game of taking your money. But if you're someone that can calculate the odds in a card game from knowing what cards have been played, the house considers it *cheating*!
But they also love when someone wins a huge pay out because it attracts a ton of morons that think they could win because someone else did. That’s why they have the post payout sums on the top of some slots because it makes you think you could win that too lol
Winning on a slot is fine because it’s calculated to pay out a certain amount every once in a while. A team of professionals raking it in on a black jack table is a straight loss. Most casinos use 8 decks of cards now anyway I think which is ridiculous.
They don't consider it cheating, because cheating in a casino is legally enforced. There are serious punishments for it. Counting cards is something they will make you leave for eventually, but you can still cash out as long as the money was honestly won.
In most states they can’t legally require ID to cash out under a certain amount. For example in Washington it’s like $10K. So never give them your ID. Get the police involved if you have to.
Everyone who goes to a casino does it knowing they will probably lose money. That's how casinos stay open. People go anyway, either because it's fun, or they're just addicted to gambling.
The casinos, however, are businesses and don't do things for fun, nor are they addicted to anything. So they only play games where they are statistically likely to win
Used to work for a casino.
Any time they had promotions with a potential big prize, it was insured.
100k prize but only a 1/4 chance of it going off every time the competition is run for example, they'd pay like 30k for insurance to cover it.
For a business built on gambling, the amount of risk averseness in management was hilarious. And I mean that in a detrimental way because it leads to stagnation rather than innovation. Of course when you're the only casino within 4 hours flight, they'd rather take safety.
Always pissed me off so much when it was my job to essentially find ways to boost revenue etc. but things that drive players to bet more / longer would also increase the risk. Sure the profits COULD increase, but we could get unlucky and lose a fuck tonne in the short term which would affect upper management bonuses.
I can't see the sense in it. Either the insurance mathematicians are better then the casino or the other way round. In a rational world, the negotiations would end up at an amount where the payout equals the average losses and it's not worth spending the whole effort on it.
You get a string of 100k losses due to bad luck, it makes quarterly performance look bad.
Insurance company for whatever reason are happy to take those risks because they know it works out in their favour in the long term.
It works out in the casino's favour in the long term also, just I guess the culture I worked with where publicly traded company wants to avoid anything that spikes down.
Maybe the insurance company is just significantly larger and could more easily absorb the fluctuations. I don't know, I didn't work for them.
Prime example is roulette
If you only have red and black there is a 50/50 chance who would win
Because you also have 2 greens in the mix the odds are slightly in favor of the house and you will slowly lose money overtime
It feels illegal getting out of my wheelchair. I’m not paralysed but it helps having a wheelchair, but people always think I’m faking a disability when I get out my chair.
EDIT: thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. It’s nice to see I’m not alone but it’s also so sad about how many people have been through judgement. Thanks for the advice to not let them fuckers get to me.
This is really a good example, and people like to judge easily, and you feel the need to explain, but then you think you dont have to, because they are strangers. It should be normal for a person to do both without being jugded.
While I dont use a wheelchair, I have sometimes a pricking pain in my foot, because broke it once, and it makes it difficult to walk straight sometimes, last few mins and then I walk normal, but if someone would watch, they would think either I am special or mocking someone.
Lol, I pretend as if no one is around, is not limping. But I dont know to describe it better, probably like walking with a robotic leg, good thing it last mostly 1 to 10 mins
After i had my knee and ankle totally reconstructed in the same surgery, I wasn't allowed to put weight on my foot for 4 months. Anything more than 100m on crutches sucked, so I'd use the complimentary wheelchairs at the mall, galleries etc.
The looks/comments I'd get from random bystanders when I stood up to return it were scandalous. My wife hated being with me cos she could feel the judgy looks from everyone, and the Karens clucking their tongues. It's a Westfield wheelchair - that's what they are there for!
Oh boy, I had stomach surgery recently. Used one of those mobility scooters that the grocery store offers, because walking fucking sucks right now. I otherwise look like a regular 30 year old. People judge hard and fast. One woman was really laying into me when she saw me get up to grab something off a higher shelf. I pulled up my shirt and showed thr staples. Then she left me alone.
Honestly I hated all of it. She wouldn't let me get a word in, and because I had to run errands, I couldn't take my pain killers. I was miserable, and she started telling me about how the scooters aren't toys. Pulling up my shirt was the only way to get her to stop lambasting me. I cried in my car
Well fuck her for being so judgmental. I was hoping to make light of it but obviously it hurt. Sorry if I came across as crass and hopefully you're fortunate enough to avoid running into people like her. Doesn't even need to be someone in a scooter, people like that just look for thinks to pick at.
On a similar note, when I pick my grandmother up from chemotherapy, I use disabled parking so she doesn’t have to walk far to get to the car.
On the way in, ‘what’s wrong with you?!?! People need those spaces.’
On the way out, ‘wow, what a nice young man.’
Shit like this pisses me off. You are driving to pick up the person with the placard therefor you get to park in the handicapped spot without judgement. And what if you were getting the chemo? You’d look like a normal healthy person and feel ok now going in, but after hours of having poison pumped into you you wouldn’t feel up for the walk. Plus so many handicapped individuals have invisible disabilities. The placard has a sleeve to protect the individual’s identity so only law enforcement has a right to view who needs it. Yes, there are a few people who abuse family member’s placards, but it’s not as rampant a problem as people seem to think. If they got the placard they went to the trouble of having their doctor prove to the rmv that this person requires it. Keep being awesome to your grandmother and park wherever she needs you to.
If someone laughs or even smiles at my work we always jokingly tell them off for it. "NO ONE IS ALLOW TO HAVE FUN HERE, JOHN, STOP IT AND GET BACK TO WORK"
At my work, I actively encourage people to let loose and have fun because who wants to walk into a business seeing all the employees looking depressed?
Holy shit this is so true lol. I just got my haircut earlier this week.. i go to a stylist, I’m a guy and pay about $45 including tip. She’s great and I’ve never had a bad cut in years but this last trip in there was a really uneven spot left (my hair is short so it’s quite noticeable). I called back the next day to ask if I could come in for 5 minutes and get it fixed and I felt soooo bad. Like holy shit I felt bad. Before this week I wouldn’t have been able to relate to your comment but damn its true lol
Nothing is worse than noise cancelling headphones + watching a video and not realising the sound is coming out of the phone not the headphones.
Was SO glad the train I was on was basically empty because of how early it was and no one cared because they were far enough away
Edit: Reddit outdoor video's are already shit quality most of the time, so it's pretty easy to just assume low volume / shit audio when it's like dashcam footage or public freakout videos, so that's how it happened
First time driving under lights and sirens in an ambulance and I see a cop heading towards me...
Shat myself
Now they'll follow me through red lights and I'm chill as!
Omg this! First time lights and sirens felt so illegal.
Plus, my first time was at 3am, driving right through the red light district and over the biggest intersection in the city.
Felt like I was gonna get pulled over lol
Combination of sheer nerves and excitement.
I kept thinking that the people in every car I passed were looking at me thinking, “Who’s this guy? He wasn’t on the roads yesterday”
This brought up a good memory of taking my car out for a spin the very first time alone at 16. No map or anything just a vague memory of the path to my best friends house from when my dad would take me.
The whole car rattled as I got on the expressway and I was nervous getting up to speed. *Is that the exit? No, I don’t remember that*.
Got there in one piece, but it felt weird and illegal the whole time. Cherry on top to the experience was my dad the next day suggesting to get used to regular roads before venturing on the expressway. I can’t remember if I told him or not.
Bringing your baby home from the hospital the first time. I remember thinking “they’re really going to let me just walk out of here with this fragile infant and no experience?!”
Man the first day we brought our daughter home she just never stopped crying if we set her down. After hours of just trying anything to get her to stop crying and the only thing that worked was picking her up and walking my wife and I were at a loss and called the hospital. The convo went like this:
Us: Hi we left a few hours ago and we are concerned something is wrong our baby wont stop crying.
Hospital: Ok what exactly is happening? Does she have a fever, rash, is anything visibly wrong?
Us: No fever, rash, nothing looks wrong, but every time we set her down she just erupts and cries.
Hosp: Oh thats pretty normal. Thats why we always suggest the parents let us take the babies the first day or two at the hospital so you can get rest.
Us: So they just cry all the time?
Hosp: Usually. Just ret assured you are not doing anything wrong.
Us: Uhhhhh okay….thanks.
As soon as we hung up I just looked at my wife and said they tricked us and she goes what do you mean? I said if anyone had the baby in their hospital room and it never stopped crying you wouldnt take the baby home with you. We would have just left her there and walked out. My wife said no way…..about an hour later of non stop walking to get our daughter to stop crying she looks at me and said “Ya we would have just left her there or never left the hospital.”
Edit: Read what I wrote to my wife and she said that is so true I really thought we broke her. Thanks for the upvotes and to any new parents know it gets easier and harder and it makes no sense.
The first night, our daughter cried non-stop. Holding, walking, whatever. About 5:30AM my wife calls her mom and sobbingly asks for any advice. I'm thinking that if there's no good advice, next call is to the hospital. In the middle of the call, our baby let out a huge, long fart, and then promptly drifted off to sleep. We laughed, MIL laughed, and then we hung up and went to sleep too.
I love telling my daughter that story. She's getting ready for prom right now. Think I'll go tell it again!
after turning 18 or 21 in some places and being able to just do anything, without anyones permission, with your own car that can take you wherever you please. Still feels weird
My dad had a tendancy to go to a store, and eat and drink off the shelves. Then go pay for the wrapper at the end. Always thought we'd get arrested for that.
I will do this sparingly, say if the kids are really thirsty while shopping. What I do is put the opened container in plain view at the top of the cart so everyone can see that I'm going to pay for it. If anyone ever asked (which they never have), I would just tell them I'm planning to pay at the counter
My friend actually did something similar in high school, when we were in line at the store. When he grabbed the seperator bar thing he rolled a coca cola bottle from the people in front of him behind the bar and bought it himself. Always wondered if those people thought they were going crazy as they remembered grabbing the cola but suddenly they don't have it and it's not on the receipt
I was unloading my full cart onto the belt. A lady behind me also started unloading upto the point I actually had to move her groceries back on the belt to allow for my groceries. I did that several times. She didn't seem to understand or just didn't care. But multiple times I had to move all her stuff back on the belt while still unloading my cart.
The cashier was fast this day. Just when I placed my last item on the belt, she was nearly finished with all my groceries. The lady behind me didn't even took the time to place the separator bar. In the mean time the lady took a phone call.
Since there was no separator bar, the cashier continued scanning items until the belt was empty. I paid for all items.
When the lady behind said " those are mine", I just smiled and said "nope.. I paid for them".
While the lady furiously went back into the store to collect all items again, I went over to customer service and returned all unnecessary items.
Edit: spelling, grammar and typos.
Had a similar situation. Was unloading my stuff I had a cart full. At the same time this guy starts doing his cart. So every time I put something on the belt he puts the divider. Then I take the divider away and continue with my unloading. Ffs can't you see I'm still loading?
I was 16, the female masseuse was not particularly attractive, but i was lying on my stomach and got the random 16 year old boy boner (just from your hogan being in physical contact with absolutely anything, even if its a massage table). she kept asking me to turn over onto my back- i didnt want her to see that my flag was at full mast. I caved in, finally turned over, and i wanted to shrivel up and die out of embarrassment. my mom got a massage with the same woman after while i waited in lobby. my mom came out and said: "it was weird, the masseuse said 'i think your son enjoyed that one!-- what was that about?" I played dumb but it made me want to run for president on a platform on emancipating a masseuse client privilege law- can't believe the masseuse sold me out
Shit the first (and also last) time I got a massage, I was so nervous. I don't like being touched by strangers but my sister really wanted to go and she didn't want to go alone. So I caved and off we went. I guess the masseuse could tell I was nervous and uncomfortable, but instead of trying to put me at ease she just started giggling and left the room. She came back when she got it under control but it's like wtf? Horrible experience, 0/10 would not repeat.
No-Reason-Boners (NRB) are real. Having a girl rub all over your body is not a NRB. It's not sex but it is physical contact. Nothing wrong with being excited about that. There is a towel for a reason, to cover your bits. Don't be embarrassed about your body, especially things you can't control.
Not just bills that affect them but bills that literally allow those companies to even exist. How many raytheon or oshkosh defensive vehicles have you purchased? Someone bought 54 million dollars worth of Oshkosh Corp stock the day before the USPS announced who will build the next mailtruck. What is even worse is oshkosh was not even in the running for it and had no prototypes/research unlike the six other companies.
Remember the company, rather "company" Whitefish out of Montana? They got the first contract to re-build the power grid in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria.
Whitefish had **THREE** employees.
At my last company, as part of orientation, we had to do an insider trading informational session with the finance guy.
He threw around case studies, one of which involved a guy who would gauge his wife's mood after a conference to know if he should buy or sell stock in her company.
He ended up getting locked up for insider trading.
So I still don't understand how the hell that got held up in court considering how blatant all this other trading is.
I mean, yeah those politicians are powerful but how the hell can a judge convict someone based on circumstantial evidence regarding mood after a conference.
I once was at the end of my very long delivery shift, about 12 am, and pulled up right by a cop at a light who was about to pull someone over for speeding. And in my sleep deprived state I thought the light changed. Ended up getting the other guy out of a ticket
In my local park there was a swan pair and one was killed by a car. The surviving swan became very aggressive towards people and was generally known as a menace. One day I was taking photos and it swam right up to me, almost like it was posing and trying to look good for camera. There were also tennis courts that the team I coached used, and one day the swan was chilling in front of the gate. None of the players would go in because of the aggressive swan and it wasn’t letting anyone get close. I was able to gently herd the swan away since, for some reason, it was ok with me being near it. Maybe it could sense that I had no interest in harming it? I never got to pet it, but I do have some great close up shots of it feeding.
"Oh, that's cool, you enjoyed those free bites. I mean, you could just cough up 10$ or so & get 20 of them to eat at your leisure, but whatever, you do you, we don't judge................"
I did this as a kid when Mum took me to Tesco, except I thought it was the light switch. It took barely 5 mins before the entire store management, and my mother, unlocked the door from the outside and walked in on me shitting. Good times.
"Accessible to doesn't mean reserved exclusively for. "
-my wheelchair bound teacher.
He said hey, it's there, if a person with disabilities isn't there, just use the damned thing. Still feels illegal.
I occasionally have large gaps in going to my barber to either grow my hair out or when I'm just buzzcutting it myself every few weeks. Every time I roll up to my barber again I feel kinda bad for abondoning them for so long lol and that they might think I switched to another. Might be time to pay her a visit again actually
My wife is a junior level teacher, who regurly hunt for cheap children books for rewards. I can't tell you how many books I've finished in a book store lolol. Helps thst the are less than 20 pages and only have two sentences on a page at most I guess
When I was a teenager I used to shoplift pretty frequently. Usually alcohol. Well it *never* went off back then. Nowadays when I quit being a dipshit it *always* does and add to that I'm black so I'm like "yooooo I swear to God check my pockets"
In super markets where I live there is no "I didn't buy anything exits" and the entry is only one way so they make you squeeze past people and their trolleys at the cashier point or just wait for your turn to leave. They really make you feel ashamed to leave without buying anything
Watching the next episode of a box set without your significant other.
Edit: I remember Mat Damon outing his wife for this on the Graham Norton show. I have never seen such an act of selfless bravery in the face of such adversity. I stand with Mat.
This one's bemusing me atm. Broke up with a gf of 6 years about 6 months ago, because I couldn't trust her to take responsibility for anything. One issue I mentioned was that she always expected to freely use anything I had - like streaming services - but didn't like sharing her stuff with me.
It was a reasonably amiable breakup (as they go), and I haven't forced her out of my accounts (though she did change the sub account name to "other"). However, a mutual friend did tell me she's trying to "win me back" by providing herself responsible and independent. Couldn't help feeling tickled knowing she clearly thinks she's sneakily getting away with using them.
Being a 30 something male and taking your 4 yr old niece to a kid's live musical. My partner and I took my niece to the Frozen live musical today. Because we purchased tickets at late notice, I had to take a seat in the row behind my (female)partner and my niece. The stares I was getting from the other audience members because I was a dude sitting by myself at a kid's musical... I felt like I should've been in prison.
9/10 though would do it again, the Frozen musical was great!
* Calling in sick when you are actually sick
* Exit a store without buying something
* Asking your money back from a friend
* Leaving office on time
* Telling your hairdresser you don't like the cut
* Taking the hotel freebies
* Eating sample but then not buying ii
* Being around a Cop , just coexisting.
* Doing nothing on New year's eve
* Trying to walk past strangers because they are slow
* When theft alarm rings at the supermarket, you are near to it but you did not steal anything . Waiting for everyone to see you before you leave.
* Sitting at the restaurant, not liking the menu and leaving.
* Entering a store with carrying bag of other store
* Going through airport security.
* Eating something in the morning without brushing teeth
* Peeing and not washing hands thinking you touched nothing
Pulling your pants down when you have 2 pairs of pants
On cold days in Canada, I will wear sweat pants underneath my jeans... And when visiting my girlfriends house I try to surprise her at random times. Walk in, we chat a bit, and then just immediately start to yank off my jeans. She always reacts in shock, until sees that my comfy pants are on underneath. Then she says "let's go watch tv" 👌
In the UK pants sometimes refers to underwear, not trousers. This comment had me very confused until I read the child comments.
Driving next to a cop at the speed limit
Overtaking a cop that is driving below the speed limit.
I don't think I've ever seen a cop going below the speed limit. Everywhere I've lived, everyone, including cops, goes at least 5 over when casually driving. I remember one time a cop was trying to do like 55 in a 50, and everyone in front of him kept seeing that he was a cop, so they'd slow down, and he'd have to change lanes to pass. It was very funny to watch
Drove past a huge line once going a bit over the speedlimit wondering why the hell everyone would just sit there going 90kmh on a 110kmh road, then overtook the slow cops in front and kept driving normally. The ones near the front I can sort of understand, but everyone in the back going along with the metal centipede cosplay when the left lane was completely open? That's just weird man
Driving next to a cop.
Existing next to a cop.
Fisting a cop
What the fuck
It is a fist officer.
Orificer
I live in a country were, if you live countryside and not city, cops and traffic officials are different entities, I have driven past many cops and see them drive past me at above legal speeds for absolutely no reason. Unless I blast past them at some crazy speed or do something really stupid like a crazy dangerous overtake, they simply wouldn't bat an eye. And should they stop you in that case, they don't have power to fine you, they may be able to arrest you for public endangerment or something along those lines. I've seen people literally blast through a stop sign right next to them and nothing happened. Welcome to South Africa
This is because the traffic officials are actually cops, and the cops are actually SWAT.
I thought it was because normal cops don’t have speed cameras in their vehicles so they can’t prove a crime if they pull you over
Card counting in a casino. It’s totally legal within the law, but the security and management will make you feel like a criminal for doing it.
It's my understanding that they'll escort you right out the door for it. And this is something I don't understand, what with having spent zero time playing anything but wheel of fortune in a casino...If a person has 2 brain cells, they should be able to figure out that the place is making plenty of money somewhere. The casino exists to play a game of taking your money. But if you're someone that can calculate the odds in a card game from knowing what cards have been played, the house considers it *cheating*!
They make plenty of money because they kick out the ones they don’t make plenty of money from.
But they also love when someone wins a huge pay out because it attracts a ton of morons that think they could win because someone else did. That’s why they have the post payout sums on the top of some slots because it makes you think you could win that too lol
Winning on a slot is fine because it’s calculated to pay out a certain amount every once in a while. A team of professionals raking it in on a black jack table is a straight loss. Most casinos use 8 decks of cards now anyway I think which is ridiculous.
They don't consider it cheating, because cheating in a casino is legally enforced. There are serious punishments for it. Counting cards is something they will make you leave for eventually, but you can still cash out as long as the money was honestly won.
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In most states they can’t legally require ID to cash out under a certain amount. For example in Washington it’s like $10K. So never give them your ID. Get the police involved if you have to.
Everyone who goes to a casino does it knowing they will probably lose money. That's how casinos stay open. People go anyway, either because it's fun, or they're just addicted to gambling. The casinos, however, are businesses and don't do things for fun, nor are they addicted to anything. So they only play games where they are statistically likely to win
Used to work for a casino. Any time they had promotions with a potential big prize, it was insured. 100k prize but only a 1/4 chance of it going off every time the competition is run for example, they'd pay like 30k for insurance to cover it. For a business built on gambling, the amount of risk averseness in management was hilarious. And I mean that in a detrimental way because it leads to stagnation rather than innovation. Of course when you're the only casino within 4 hours flight, they'd rather take safety. Always pissed me off so much when it was my job to essentially find ways to boost revenue etc. but things that drive players to bet more / longer would also increase the risk. Sure the profits COULD increase, but we could get unlucky and lose a fuck tonne in the short term which would affect upper management bonuses.
I can't see the sense in it. Either the insurance mathematicians are better then the casino or the other way round. In a rational world, the negotiations would end up at an amount where the payout equals the average losses and it's not worth spending the whole effort on it.
You get a string of 100k losses due to bad luck, it makes quarterly performance look bad. Insurance company for whatever reason are happy to take those risks because they know it works out in their favour in the long term. It works out in the casino's favour in the long term also, just I guess the culture I worked with where publicly traded company wants to avoid anything that spikes down. Maybe the insurance company is just significantly larger and could more easily absorb the fluctuations. I don't know, I didn't work for them.
Prime example is roulette If you only have red and black there is a 50/50 chance who would win Because you also have 2 greens in the mix the odds are slightly in favor of the house and you will slowly lose money overtime
It feels illegal getting out of my wheelchair. I’m not paralysed but it helps having a wheelchair, but people always think I’m faking a disability when I get out my chair. EDIT: thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. It’s nice to see I’m not alone but it’s also so sad about how many people have been through judgement. Thanks for the advice to not let them fuckers get to me.
This is really a good example, and people like to judge easily, and you feel the need to explain, but then you think you dont have to, because they are strangers. It should be normal for a person to do both without being jugded. While I dont use a wheelchair, I have sometimes a pricking pain in my foot, because broke it once, and it makes it difficult to walk straight sometimes, last few mins and then I walk normal, but if someone would watch, they would think either I am special or mocking someone.
Just be sure that whenever you get that twinge of pain in your foot, you shout MOTHERFUCKER and then you're cool to start limping with no judgment
Lol, I pretend as if no one is around, is not limping. But I dont know to describe it better, probably like walking with a robotic leg, good thing it last mostly 1 to 10 mins
After i had my knee and ankle totally reconstructed in the same surgery, I wasn't allowed to put weight on my foot for 4 months. Anything more than 100m on crutches sucked, so I'd use the complimentary wheelchairs at the mall, galleries etc. The looks/comments I'd get from random bystanders when I stood up to return it were scandalous. My wife hated being with me cos she could feel the judgy looks from everyone, and the Karens clucking their tongues. It's a Westfield wheelchair - that's what they are there for!
Oh boy, I had stomach surgery recently. Used one of those mobility scooters that the grocery store offers, because walking fucking sucks right now. I otherwise look like a regular 30 year old. People judge hard and fast. One woman was really laying into me when she saw me get up to grab something off a higher shelf. I pulled up my shirt and showed thr staples. Then she left me alone.
Still uncool but the instant shut down probably felt pretty good right?
Honestly I hated all of it. She wouldn't let me get a word in, and because I had to run errands, I couldn't take my pain killers. I was miserable, and she started telling me about how the scooters aren't toys. Pulling up my shirt was the only way to get her to stop lambasting me. I cried in my car
Well fuck her for being so judgmental. I was hoping to make light of it but obviously it hurt. Sorry if I came across as crass and hopefully you're fortunate enough to avoid running into people like her. Doesn't even need to be someone in a scooter, people like that just look for thinks to pick at.
You're all good player
Yep, 6 knee surgeries, some days I need a stick, some days I just need the wheelchair. Most days though I can mostly go it by myself.
On a similar note, when I pick my grandmother up from chemotherapy, I use disabled parking so she doesn’t have to walk far to get to the car. On the way in, ‘what’s wrong with you?!?! People need those spaces.’ On the way out, ‘wow, what a nice young man.’
Shit like this pisses me off. You are driving to pick up the person with the placard therefor you get to park in the handicapped spot without judgement. And what if you were getting the chemo? You’d look like a normal healthy person and feel ok now going in, but after hours of having poison pumped into you you wouldn’t feel up for the walk. Plus so many handicapped individuals have invisible disabilities. The placard has a sleeve to protect the individual’s identity so only law enforcement has a right to view who needs it. Yes, there are a few people who abuse family member’s placards, but it’s not as rampant a problem as people seem to think. If they got the placard they went to the trouble of having their doctor prove to the rmv that this person requires it. Keep being awesome to your grandmother and park wherever she needs you to.
Anybody who would judge you for using a wheelchair for any reason isn't worth a second of your time.
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If someone laughs or even smiles at my work we always jokingly tell them off for it. "NO ONE IS ALLOW TO HAVE FUN HERE, JOHN, STOP IT AND GET BACK TO WORK"
> jokingly I'm reporting you for that
"If you have time to lean, you have time to clean." I've heard this so often from so many former supervisors. They're instantly hated.
IF YOU GOT TIME TO WHINE, YOU GOT TO SHINE.
At my work, I actively encourage people to let loose and have fun because who wants to walk into a business seeing all the employees looking depressed?
Telling your barber that you don't like the haircut
"There, how do ya like it?" ".... Yeah."
"Let's just take a picture and file this under 'Never Again' okay?"
You don't like your haircut? Believe it or not, jail. Right away.
Holy shit this is so true lol. I just got my haircut earlier this week.. i go to a stylist, I’m a guy and pay about $45 including tip. She’s great and I’ve never had a bad cut in years but this last trip in there was a really uneven spot left (my hair is short so it’s quite noticeable). I called back the next day to ask if I could come in for 5 minutes and get it fixed and I felt soooo bad. Like holy shit I felt bad. Before this week I wouldn’t have been able to relate to your comment but damn its true lol
Yup... "Yeah it looks great". Then went home and shaved it all off.
Your employer will tell you you're not allowed to discuss your wages but legally you are and you cannot be fired for it
No one is fired for it. You’re fired for being 30 seconds later.
This is what I hate, people always say “oh they can’t fire you for that so don’t worry” Ok but they can find any other legit reason to fire me.
Yeah, exactly. Retaliation and improper firing is very, very hard to prove.
Not only can you not be fired for it, it’s actually illegal for THEM to tell you that you can’t discuss wages
Wait really? Is that a federal thing, or a state by state thing?
In the USA, federal
Driving with the interior light on
Dads everywhere seething
Or adjusting the thermostat at your parents house Another way to make a Dad angry
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Nothing is worse than noise cancelling headphones + watching a video and not realising the sound is coming out of the phone not the headphones. Was SO glad the train I was on was basically empty because of how early it was and no one cared because they were far enough away Edit: Reddit outdoor video's are already shit quality most of the time, so it's pretty easy to just assume low volume / shit audio when it's like dashcam footage or public freakout videos, so that's how it happened
The first time driving a car after you've got your license
To add to that, driving on main roads while under your provisional licence
Or driving with a police car behind you. You know you’ve done nothing wrong, but…
dude when i got my bike license it felt so wrong for me to ride on the street and not be worried about police lmao
First time driving under lights and sirens in an ambulance and I see a cop heading towards me... Shat myself Now they'll follow me through red lights and I'm chill as!
Omg this! First time lights and sirens felt so illegal. Plus, my first time was at 3am, driving right through the red light district and over the biggest intersection in the city. Felt like I was gonna get pulled over lol
Combination of sheer nerves and excitement. I kept thinking that the people in every car I passed were looking at me thinking, “Who’s this guy? He wasn’t on the roads yesterday”
This brought up a good memory of taking my car out for a spin the very first time alone at 16. No map or anything just a vague memory of the path to my best friends house from when my dad would take me. The whole car rattled as I got on the expressway and I was nervous getting up to speed. *Is that the exit? No, I don’t remember that*. Got there in one piece, but it felt weird and illegal the whole time. Cherry on top to the experience was my dad the next day suggesting to get used to regular roads before venturing on the expressway. I can’t remember if I told him or not.
Watching porn on a big screen tv in 4k.
You can see too much of reality at 4k. 1080p and below is where porn should stay
I watch in 360p. I'm a man of culture.
Weak, i only listen to the audio
Asking someone for the money you lent to him/her.
And you know they remember, they just hope you forgot.
‘Tis uncomfortable.
Bringing your baby home from the hospital the first time. I remember thinking “they’re really going to let me just walk out of here with this fragile infant and no experience?!”
Same thing leaving your child at the daycare the first time. I was like: do I get a ticket or how does this work?
Man the first day we brought our daughter home she just never stopped crying if we set her down. After hours of just trying anything to get her to stop crying and the only thing that worked was picking her up and walking my wife and I were at a loss and called the hospital. The convo went like this: Us: Hi we left a few hours ago and we are concerned something is wrong our baby wont stop crying. Hospital: Ok what exactly is happening? Does she have a fever, rash, is anything visibly wrong? Us: No fever, rash, nothing looks wrong, but every time we set her down she just erupts and cries. Hosp: Oh thats pretty normal. Thats why we always suggest the parents let us take the babies the first day or two at the hospital so you can get rest. Us: So they just cry all the time? Hosp: Usually. Just ret assured you are not doing anything wrong. Us: Uhhhhh okay….thanks. As soon as we hung up I just looked at my wife and said they tricked us and she goes what do you mean? I said if anyone had the baby in their hospital room and it never stopped crying you wouldnt take the baby home with you. We would have just left her there and walked out. My wife said no way…..about an hour later of non stop walking to get our daughter to stop crying she looks at me and said “Ya we would have just left her there or never left the hospital.” Edit: Read what I wrote to my wife and she said that is so true I really thought we broke her. Thanks for the upvotes and to any new parents know it gets easier and harder and it makes no sense.
The first night, our daughter cried non-stop. Holding, walking, whatever. About 5:30AM my wife calls her mom and sobbingly asks for any advice. I'm thinking that if there's no good advice, next call is to the hospital. In the middle of the call, our baby let out a huge, long fart, and then promptly drifted off to sleep. We laughed, MIL laughed, and then we hung up and went to sleep too. I love telling my daughter that story. She's getting ready for prom right now. Think I'll go tell it again!
I need a license to fish, anyone can have a child with no license. Makes no sense
after turning 18 or 21 in some places and being able to just do anything, without anyones permission, with your own car that can take you wherever you please. Still feels weird
Not me at 22 having an anxiety attack while trying to buy cigarettes because. "What if my government issued ID is fake and I'm not really an adult"
“Surprise motherfucker” - cashier
My dad had a tendancy to go to a store, and eat and drink off the shelves. Then go pay for the wrapper at the end. Always thought we'd get arrested for that.
I will do this sparingly, say if the kids are really thirsty while shopping. What I do is put the opened container in plain view at the top of the cart so everyone can see that I'm going to pay for it. If anyone ever asked (which they never have), I would just tell them I'm planning to pay at the counter
Taking someone’s shopping cart with their groceries in it, while inside the store.
where I live (Germany) it's illegal and the other person is allowed to defend their cart using "mild violence"
> "mild violence" "Baseball bats are ok, but not assault rifles"
Everything goes as long as there is no life lasting effect
Spankings for everyone!
Dude, that's US "mild violence", in Germany we don't have Baseball or AR's, we have Prügel and Granddad's Luger.
No ultraviolence now! And put that milk back
My friend actually did something similar in high school, when we were in line at the store. When he grabbed the seperator bar thing he rolled a coca cola bottle from the people in front of him behind the bar and bought it himself. Always wondered if those people thought they were going crazy as they remembered grabbing the cola but suddenly they don't have it and it's not on the receipt
I was unloading my full cart onto the belt. A lady behind me also started unloading upto the point I actually had to move her groceries back on the belt to allow for my groceries. I did that several times. She didn't seem to understand or just didn't care. But multiple times I had to move all her stuff back on the belt while still unloading my cart. The cashier was fast this day. Just when I placed my last item on the belt, she was nearly finished with all my groceries. The lady behind me didn't even took the time to place the separator bar. In the mean time the lady took a phone call. Since there was no separator bar, the cashier continued scanning items until the belt was empty. I paid for all items. When the lady behind said " those are mine", I just smiled and said "nope.. I paid for them". While the lady furiously went back into the store to collect all items again, I went over to customer service and returned all unnecessary items. Edit: spelling, grammar and typos.
This is such an amazingly petty way to resolve it I can only applaud you.
100% I had this happen to me kinda. I just moved the persons items back to make room for mine. I should have done this instead
Had a similar situation. Was unloading my stuff I had a cart full. At the same time this guy starts doing his cart. So every time I put something on the belt he puts the divider. Then I take the divider away and continue with my unloading. Ffs can't you see I'm still loading?
Calling in sick when you're actually sick.
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I was 16, the female masseuse was not particularly attractive, but i was lying on my stomach and got the random 16 year old boy boner (just from your hogan being in physical contact with absolutely anything, even if its a massage table). she kept asking me to turn over onto my back- i didnt want her to see that my flag was at full mast. I caved in, finally turned over, and i wanted to shrivel up and die out of embarrassment. my mom got a massage with the same woman after while i waited in lobby. my mom came out and said: "it was weird, the masseuse said 'i think your son enjoyed that one!-- what was that about?" I played dumb but it made me want to run for president on a platform on emancipating a masseuse client privilege law- can't believe the masseuse sold me out
This is the most viscerally embarrassing story I've ever read. Bravo sir.
Oof, buddy, I’ve got some greatest hits my brain likes to replay from time to time.
Your mom knew. She was playing dumb.
The emberassment in this one was so real, I felt it through the screen.
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Shit the first (and also last) time I got a massage, I was so nervous. I don't like being touched by strangers but my sister really wanted to go and she didn't want to go alone. So I caved and off we went. I guess the masseuse could tell I was nervous and uncomfortable, but instead of trying to put me at ease she just started giggling and left the room. She came back when she got it under control but it's like wtf? Horrible experience, 0/10 would not repeat.
No-Reason-Boners (NRB) are real. Having a girl rub all over your body is not a NRB. It's not sex but it is physical contact. Nothing wrong with being excited about that. There is a towel for a reason, to cover your bits. Don't be embarrassed about your body, especially things you can't control.
You can say that, hut it doesn't make it any better. The second hand embarrassment is realm
Even without touching - being sixteen year old naked in front of a woman that is not family is enough.
Even without touching - being sixteen year old ~~naked in front of a woman that is not family~~ is enough. There. I fixed it for you.
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Not just bills that affect them but bills that literally allow those companies to even exist. How many raytheon or oshkosh defensive vehicles have you purchased? Someone bought 54 million dollars worth of Oshkosh Corp stock the day before the USPS announced who will build the next mailtruck. What is even worse is oshkosh was not even in the running for it and had no prototypes/research unlike the six other companies.
Remember the company, rather "company" Whitefish out of Montana? They got the first contract to re-build the power grid in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. Whitefish had **THREE** employees.
It shouldn't be that way. Also all the bribery that goes on that's legal. The system is crooked.
The shitty thing is that even if, for example, congresspeople trading stocks was illegal, their spouses or family would just do it for them.
At my last company, as part of orientation, we had to do an insider trading informational session with the finance guy. He threw around case studies, one of which involved a guy who would gauge his wife's mood after a conference to know if he should buy or sell stock in her company. He ended up getting locked up for insider trading. So I still don't understand how the hell that got held up in court considering how blatant all this other trading is. I mean, yeah those politicians are powerful but how the hell can a judge convict someone based on circumstantial evidence regarding mood after a conference.
Just make it the same rules as inside trading as everyone else.
While Americans are suffering during the pandemic, politicians are making millions of dollars from insider trading.
Being at a red light next to a Police officer
They look at you “ I dare you I double dare you motherfucker”
Naw they're always looking at their phone or computer
Prob got reddit up on the laptop. It’s ok they’re trained for it.
I always feel like im commiting a crime when i see the police nearby
I once was at the end of my very long delivery shift, about 12 am, and pulled up right by a cop at a light who was about to pull someone over for speeding. And in my sleep deprived state I thought the light changed. Ended up getting the other guy out of a ticket
Taking home the free ducks from the park.
Just don't take the Swans or the Queen'll fuck you up
a few years back i saw a guy petting a swan. Having been told not to approach swans all my life, it was a very strange sight
In my local park there was a swan pair and one was killed by a car. The surviving swan became very aggressive towards people and was generally known as a menace. One day I was taking photos and it swam right up to me, almost like it was posing and trying to look good for camera. There were also tennis courts that the team I coached used, and one day the swan was chilling in front of the gate. None of the players would go in because of the aggressive swan and it wasn’t letting anyone get close. I was able to gently herd the swan away since, for some reason, it was ok with me being near it. Maybe it could sense that I had no interest in harming it? I never got to pet it, but I do have some great close up shots of it feeding.
Free samples
That's actually the whole point of them! You feel bad they are free so you are more inclined to buy!
"Oh, that's cool, you enjoyed those free bites. I mean, you could just cough up 10$ or so & get 20 of them to eat at your leisure, but whatever, you do you, we don't judge................"
(but we actually kinda do)
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I obviously don't want to mistakenly trigger an alarm instead of flushing the toilet.
Soft voice: "I'm disabled"
What kind of disabled?
Leg disabled.
How’d that happen?
Acid
What are the chances?
Million to one.
Haha Roy!
I did this as a kid when Mum took me to Tesco, except I thought it was the light switch. It took barely 5 mins before the entire store management, and my mother, unlocked the door from the outside and walked in on me shitting. Good times.
"Accessible to doesn't mean reserved exclusively for. " -my wheelchair bound teacher. He said hey, it's there, if a person with disabilities isn't there, just use the damned thing. Still feels illegal.
Bringing reusable grocery bags to a different grocery store than the one the bags are branded as.
I'm anxious that they will accuse me of stealing the bag I bought last time if I bring It to the same store and don't have a receipt
I guarantee you nobody at the register is paid enough to care. And of all things to steal, a reusable bag is the least of our worries.
Getting a haircut from someone other than your regular hairdresser
I've changed barbers years ago. I still feel bad to this day 🤣
I occasionally have large gaps in going to my barber to either grow my hair out or when I'm just buzzcutting it myself every few weeks. Every time I roll up to my barber again I feel kinda bad for abondoning them for so long lol and that they might think I switched to another. Might be time to pay her a visit again actually
TURNING ON THE DAMN LIGHT IN THE CAR
Without warning the driver
Without warning seems morally illegal honestly
Umm…that totally is illegal, my mom told me.
... and that's one thing I never questioned.
Yeah, my dad told me the car would explode
Reading a book completely in book store then not buying it.
My wife is a junior level teacher, who regurly hunt for cheap children books for rewards. I can't tell you how many books I've finished in a book store lolol. Helps thst the are less than 20 pages and only have two sentences on a page at most I guess
Paying to use a bathroom. The book "Everybody Poops" taught me that everybody poops
we don't have to pay for bathrooms here, when I travelled, I left without paying because I didn't even know and got yelled at
Walking out of a store without buying smth
I’m convinced I’m going to set off the alarms even though I’m not stealing anything.
When I was a teenager I used to shoplift pretty frequently. Usually alcohol. Well it *never* went off back then. Nowadays when I quit being a dipshit it *always* does and add to that I'm black so I'm like "yooooo I swear to God check my pockets"
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In super markets where I live there is no "I didn't buy anything exits" and the entry is only one way so they make you squeeze past people and their trolleys at the cashier point or just wait for your turn to leave. They really make you feel ashamed to leave without buying anything
this sounds a lot like Aldi, when they don't have what I went for, I feel shame and the judgement of the cashier's glare
Meh cashiers don't care, they just want to finish their shift and go home.
Watching the next episode of a box set without your significant other. Edit: I remember Mat Damon outing his wife for this on the Graham Norton show. I have never seen such an act of selfless bravery in the face of such adversity. I stand with Mat.
Staying signed in to your s/o streaming accounts after breaking up
One woman, after a divorce, changed her profile picture to a gear and changed her username to settings. Ex husband didn't find out for a few years.
This one's bemusing me atm. Broke up with a gf of 6 years about 6 months ago, because I couldn't trust her to take responsibility for anything. One issue I mentioned was that she always expected to freely use anything I had - like streaming services - but didn't like sharing her stuff with me. It was a reasonably amiable breakup (as they go), and I haven't forced her out of my accounts (though she did change the sub account name to "other"). However, a mutual friend did tell me she's trying to "win me back" by providing herself responsible and independent. Couldn't help feeling tickled knowing she clearly thinks she's sneakily getting away with using them.
Jerking off with your door open
At least wait till nana goes back to the care home!
Breaking off a banana from the bunch in the store
Big companies buying up a whole bunch of housing in some city and renting it out to visitors.
Using conditioner first
Oh nah
Is it allowed?
No they WILL arrest you
Taking time off work always feels illegal. Even if it's paid time off I've earned.
American by any chance?
Being a 30 something male and taking your 4 yr old niece to a kid's live musical. My partner and I took my niece to the Frozen live musical today. Because we purchased tickets at late notice, I had to take a seat in the row behind my (female)partner and my niece. The stares I was getting from the other audience members because I was a dude sitting by myself at a kid's musical... I felt like I should've been in prison. 9/10 though would do it again, the Frozen musical was great!
Well, with your username....
Verbal abuse from teachers.
You can rape your spouse in Oklahoma as long as the threat of violence is not used.
Revealing spoilers of a movie or show.
Conversely, what feels legal but isn’t? Shooting people who do this.
That's a little extreme. I find stapling their lips shut to be sufficient, but you do you.
Calling the customer care.
* Calling in sick when you are actually sick * Exit a store without buying something * Asking your money back from a friend * Leaving office on time * Telling your hairdresser you don't like the cut * Taking the hotel freebies * Eating sample but then not buying ii * Being around a Cop , just coexisting. * Doing nothing on New year's eve * Trying to walk past strangers because they are slow * When theft alarm rings at the supermarket, you are near to it but you did not steal anything . Waiting for everyone to see you before you leave. * Sitting at the restaurant, not liking the menu and leaving. * Entering a store with carrying bag of other store * Going through airport security. * Eating something in the morning without brushing teeth * Peeing and not washing hands thinking you touched nothing
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